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Percy Foreman V-H1- * THE LAMAR LANCER Volume XX MIRABEAU B. LAMAR SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL, 3328 WESTHEIMER ROAD, HOUSTON, TEXAS. APRIL 1, 1960 Number 69 t=i Neely Resigns 'Bear' Bryant Hired Last night, in an exclusive in- Neely that he was relinquishing ly's highly regarded athletic pro- terview with Dean Sims, The his head football coaching duties gram. Sims, on the other hand, Thresher learned that Jess Nee- to devote full time to the job of stated that "the athletic depart- ly had been replaced as athletic athletic director. ment deserves no better admin- director of the Rice Institute. In the Tuesday-Thursday per- istration than does the student Sims, in a printed statement, iod a heated dispute between body" and nominated either Bear named Bear Bryant as Neely's Neely and Sims arose over the se- Bryant or Bud Wilkinson for the successor. lection of a new head football position. Finding his position un- The Thursday night announce- coach. Neely favored the selec- tenable under Sims' pressure, ment followed closely on the heels tion of a highly respected suc- Neely turned in his resignation of a Tuesday announcement by cessor who would carry on Nee- early Thursday moi'ning. After conferring with his two Convenience Plan nominees, Sims then announced the selection of Bryant, with the 9 deciding factor being the Bear's Revise 60 Schedule; promise to have Rice on proba- tion within two months. v Contacted by phone Thursday, Inaugurate Tradition Bryant stated that he would re- Tradition-less Rice, The Ivy North Dakota State Wesleyan tain no one from Neely's staff league school of the southwest, Minnesota Extension at Duluth since they belonged to what Bry- will inaugurate for at least one Lamar High B Team ant termed the "soft nosed" All Editorial year a new tradition. Borrowing Alvin Jr. College school of football. When ques- tioned on the possibility of pro- from the Aggies, Rice §tudents Texas A&M bation Bryant spouted, "Damn next year will be forced to kiss Connecticut College for Women probation, all we want is vic- their dates (we hope this won't Prairie View Sneak Thieves Are tory." inconvenience you) after every MIT Rice touchdown. Slippery Rock Thus far the Bear has named Real Bad Business Athletic director Jess Neely Brandeis only one member of his staff, told the Thresher Thursday, "We that being former national You have probably heard about won't. The Brandeis game will be The person who is doing this, intend to improve on the Aggies championship coach Homer Nor- the "sneak thief" here at Rice. Homecoming for many Rice stu- might never be found out. If he though. Rice students will be ex- ton. From his Rosenberg motel He steals valuables and destroys dents with Hillel sponsoring their is caught there isn't much that pected to hold hands after every Norton issued the following state- inter-coms, clocks, and such. usual pre-game, halftime, after can be done to repair the damage missed field goal attempt." ment: "I'm sure that Coach Bry- This "sneak-thief" may be your the game, between quarters, time already done, except to pay for Dr. J. C." Dims, dean of some- ant's program at Rice will pro- best friend, or your favorite out cocktail "hour." enemy. He may not be able to the fixing, but it will be seen to thing, remarked, "We intend to duce successful I'esults very soon, control these doings, but nine out that it won't happen again. import 1500 beautiful girls for The 1960 Owls are working out but it may take us several years of ten chances he can. Things like this are what give each Rice home encounter. It is daily for the Connecticut College before we can produce a team This stealing ancT destroying schools bad reputations. We hoped that every Rice man will game and it is hoped that a good comparable to my great 1939 na- might have started as a practic- wouldn't want Rice to have a bad have a date. This is following in time will be had by all. tional champions at A&M." al joke, but it isn't funny any- reputation, would we? our new "Convenience Plan of more, it's tragic. All the money If you see anyone that looks keeping the students "satisfied -Hate- it's going to cost to replace the like he might be doing something and contented." Remember we wall clocks and inter-coms should he shouldn't, just tell a teacher have a big investment in every come out of his pocket. But it or an administrator. The matter student her^" Truths Revealed Of will then be investigated. The administration, in hoping Please Riceites, let's keep to promote better faculty student Rice's good reputation forever, relations has also revised the Campus Elections and put an end to the "sneak 1960 football schedule. The sched- By RALPH BEAVER And I've only run thief." ule will include: Thresher Cynic Twenty Seven Times! It is not the purpose of this Rah! Rah! R a a h ? column to sardonically reveal the 3. However, the number of truth about the elections; how candidates did foul up our great- someever it is necessary to state cultural college system a bit as P.T. Movies Outstanding -- a few somewhat obvious truths. it was a little harder to run the 1. More potential Rice type usual block voting techniques campus leaders ran for office previously employed. Thwock, Thwock, Thwock than ever before, (who could say But the greatest thing was the By HANS ARSCH prefer the *thwock* Australian we're apathetic). Now then there gathering of the group to await Lancer Staff grip, *thwock* the Brownie's may be a few malcontents among tthe results. And in honor of this In line with the Thresher policy Honor grip, or *thwock* the you who will say that there swinging use of the R.M.C., a of reviewing all the crummy two-handed grip for all you 97 aren't that many humans, let little poem! flicks just so we can be funny, pound weaklings. *thwock* Or alone leaders here, but this is MONDAY at SAMMY'S we managed to pull a review of the no-handed grip for those with obviously mere cynicism and Frightened faces glancing 'bout Please fill out the following the PT 100 classic "Tennis and dates. * thwock* *thwock*. should be quietly disregarded. Wrought with worry, fear, and statement for an exciting You" out of the printer's waste- Now you are ready to go out 2. Everyone cooperated beauti- doubt weekend in the spot of your basket. on the court and try out your fully in this election, (except the Smiling at foes, leaning on choice courtesy of The Thresh- The dialogue and verbal ex- technique, *thw9ck* *thwock* weatherman) The signs were up friends er. change was so clever and out- *thwock* *thwock*. How was it? close to out of the way side- Flashing traits, that make poli- In 25 words or less, Why standing in our flick that the What do you mean they laughed? walks ... so no one would see tics a sin. I like one of the following Thrasher managed to transcribe Now we are ready to pick up them! The Brown & Root gnomes places the best: a selection from the co-ordinated some little sly tricks that only fertilized both the signs and The polls wouldn't close Galveston, Texas City, Port 78 rpm record that came along us pros know about and it will those putting them up (giving a The committee wouldn't count Arthur, Sealey, La Grange, with the slide film, of course give you little amateurs a few somewhat funny and rather sym- The winners were losers . Via Cuna, Cuero or Hatties. with the cooperation of the arm more tricks to spring on Pan- bolic appearance to the smiling The losers don't count. All completed forms should forces: Am or somebody like that. politicos) And best of all there be turned in to the Thresher "And now boys and girls for *thwock* Sometimes it is pos- was no Retcher editorial last The politics go to grad schools office, or tb Buddy Herz at our first lesson in Tennis. ( Stars sible to substitute a baseball for week. The school goes to hell his new address, King solving and Stripes Forever in the back- said tennis ball for unusual effect. However, the afore mentioned The promises were lies Dormitory, Austin. ground). Now when you hear the *thwock* *thwock* Also it is pos- weatherman was a deterent fac- Cause, we're apathetic as hell. magic sound *thwock* you turn sible to prepare a special ten- tor as it didn't rain thereby the magic slide. Got it? *thwock* nis ball which releases gravel eleminating all those trite little Not so fast you skipped one.— when your oponent hits it—in his signs saying: *thwo©k* Good. And here We see eyes. *thwock* thwock* To really I'm so pretty our stupor stud mit his racquet knock 'em dead you might try re- I'm so fine in hand. *thwock* stringing your opponents racquet Vote for me If you are right' handed raise with spaghetti. Then when he Just this time the racquet—do you lose your holds it up to shield it from your charm when you raise your arm? mighty jet-like service—*thwock* I've got nothing to say — *thwock* and follow thru *thwock* Won't do a thing *thwock* being sure NOT TO Boys and girls, first aid can Haven't got an enemy LET GO THE RACqu—*thwock* be fun.
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