Marsha Clark Profile of a Visual Artist By Eugene Campbell February past. “I decided to come background training has taken different stages of life.” oming out of the closet out at that time to the world at her to such well-known venues as She said, “Since first coming at the age of 30 and an- large. I had a lot of close friends Ryerson in Toronto, and Sheridan out, my work has been really self- Cnouncing to the world she who knew—for many, it was no in Oakville, for various periods reflective. I work out a lot of issues was gay did not have the negative revelation.” of time. “In Oakville, I was there I have about myself. I think a lot of effects one usually associates with She said she has had doubts, about six years. I received train- artists go through that. The work is the move, for at least one local per- however. As the mother of a ing in furniture making. I tried to out there, it applies to everybody.” son. When well-known visual artist young daughter, she said, “Can I make a future in the trade, but that Clark works full-time at historic St. Marsha Clark made the daring move really call myself gay? Is that al- didn’t work out. I came back to Paul’s United Church as a caretaker. it had the exact opposite effects. lowed where I have had an affair Fredericton and took some time “I love it. It’s just butch enough that Clark, who is currently the fea- with a man and have a child?” off, had a baby, and got involved in I like it, but not enough that I can’t tured artist at a solo exhibition being As an artist, she said of the cabinet making. I liked the work, handle it. In my time, I take care of staged at the Annex Gallery, located move, “I think it has enhanced my not the atmosphere, not the sexual my daughter. I like biking and read- in the Playhouse in downtown Fre- work. It has helped all those things harassment.” ing. I read a lot, and have coffee with dericton, said, “Once I got over I incorporate in my art, such as As a visual artist she makes my friends.” the hurdle of self-doubt and self- photography, drawing and writing. collages. “They are primarily made If you would like to learn more confidence issues, I said, ‘What, the It involves all those things.” She up of my own photography, draw- about Marsha’s work, or maybe hell with it! I’m going to be who I am.’ said that her being a gay artist has ing and painting. I also use found add one of her pieces to your own “I struggled with the self-esteem opened up a whole new audience, objects. I am really interested in collection, or perhaps arrange for a issue for a long time. I’m not very adding that this has happened “in architecture. In my art, I isolate showing in another Maritime com- close to my family, anyway. I sort of a community where we (gays) are different architectural elements, munity, or perhaps you would like thought, it doesn’t matter—I’ll get poorly represented.” cut them out, put them back to- to just get together with her over a around to it,” she said when speaking As an artist, “I’ve been doing it gether and rebuild houses. I build coffee—believe me, it’s worth the of leading up to her decision to come all my life. Art chose me. I didn’t new homes. The house is the time—then she can be reached any- out. “It takes a lot of energy to keep choose it. It’s just something I common metaphor for life. The time at [email protected], a secret. It was just one I wasn’t all do. Everyone has their thing. I’ve Marsha Clark houses I build are built through or by phoning (506) 472-5806. that interested in keeping anymore.” been doing it all my life, but formally, Photo: Eugene Campbell She said she decided to come out in I really started a few years ago.” Her Community Hero: Eric Smith ova Scotia Rainbow Ac- light on the discrimination faced by chance to honour Eric in this way,” was Michelle Douglas, the person tion Project (NSRAP) is those living with HIV and AIDS. said Matt Numer, chair of NSRAP. responsible for ending the ban on Npleased to announce that Smith became active in advocat- “His commitment to equality is long- LGBT people serving openly in the the 2010 Rev. Darlene Young Com- ing for the rights of LGBT Nova standing and runs deep. His case— Canadian Armed Forces. Entertain- munity Hero Award was awarded Scotians and Nova Scotians affected and the work he’s done since—has ment was provided by celebrity to activist and HIV/AIDS educa- by HIV and AIDS. More than twenty had a tremendous impact within emcee Candy Palmater and singer/ tor Eric Smith. Smith was unwit- years since his name first became Nova Scotia.” songwriter Wade Carroll. tingly thrust on the national and associated with equality rights; he NSRAP created the award in 2008 For 15 years NSRAP has been international stage in 1987, when he continues to speak out, most recently as a means of recognizing those who the leading voice in the struggle for was a teacher at Cape Sable Island against the ban preventing gay men have made significant contributions equality for LGBT Nova Scotians. Elementary School. When his HIV- from donating blood. Smith was in Nova Scotia. It is named for the This annual dinner and silent auction positive status became known in the pleased to accept the award, pre- late Rev. Darlene Young, a former is our most important fundraiser, and community, the local school board sented as part of NSRAP’s annual NSRAP board member and pastor we are profoundly gratified that so tried to remove him from a teaching gala fundraiser, which took place on of the Safe Harbour Metropolitan many in the community came forward position, and tried to ban all homo- October 23 at the Halifax Marriott Community Church. to support our efforts. sexuals from classroom teaching. Harbourfront hotel. This year’s NSRAP gala theme was Eric Smith His case was one of the first to shed “We are so fortunate to have the “Trailblazers.” The keynote speaker Photo by Anita Martinez

World AIDS Day On December 1 we’ll mark World New Website For Halifax Sexual Health AIDS Day. Let us get the word h e H a l i - health professionals attended the browse, or that it lacks some informa- out. Tell us what events will be Centre fax Sexual launch at the Hotel Atlantica on Sep- tion, please do not hesitate to contact happening in your community in H e a l t h tember 29. Afterwards, people had the Executive Director Angus Camp- Atlantic Canada. Write to submis- T a chance to tour the clinic which is bell at [email protected]. [email protected]. Centre is pleased to announce their right across the street. This will allow new website. With them to explain to t h e a s s i s t a n c e their clients, many of three Capital of whom are youth, Regular Columns Health Commu- where we are locat- nity Health Boards ed, services offered and what to expect. Chef’s Corner 10 • Groups & Services 12 • I Am What I Amherst 5 (Halifax, Chebucto Kibitz and Bitch 6 • Lesbian Soapbox Diaries 4 • NSRAP Report 3 West, and South- T he website Ramblings from the Sanctuary Garden 11 • The Last Word 14 eastern) HSHC houses quite a bit was able to develop of information, December Deadline: Friday, Dec. 3 (first Friday of every month!) and launch the site. but there is always [email protected]. Various community room for improve- partners, stakehold- ment. If you find Wayves Online: www.wayves.ca ers, students, vol- something isn’t Join us on Facebook: Wayves Magazine unteers and other working while you 2 — November 2010 — Wayves

about 52 members, although not all community. We will continue to have The Sex Festival members participate in every event. our bowling, pool and brunch events Atlantic News We are always trying to encourage and, of course, our annual Christmas at Plutonium TG Workshop in Quinn, 86 High St. S., Carbonear other GLBTs to come and see what party, along with potlucks and any- Last spring, Plutonium Playhouse, General Hospital, Carbonear NL, we are all about. They will find we thing else that our members would a new theatre company on Hunter St. John's A1Y 1A4. Include your name, mail- have a lot of fun and meet some really like to host. Street in Halifax, presented a success- The Canadian Professional Asso- ing address, phone number, and your nice people. We have also found that ful debut season of plays featuring ciation for Transgender Health Care profession. the communities in Southwest Nova Northwood the premiere productions of three (CPATH) will present a workshop Scotia have welcomed us with open local and original plays like “A Rescue on Gender Variant and Transgender arms, especially when we marched in Diversity Program Demonstration” by Stewart Legere Health Care, to be held Saturday, South West Nova the Yarmouth Seafest Parade, where Halifax — The largest, non-profit, and Katie Swift, as well as “Splinters” November 13. The workshop will we were awarded a plaque for best independent living, long-term care, by Lee-Anne Poole. Plutonium’s first Pride News production, “Cloudburst” by Thom take place in Theatre B of the Health By Dianne O’Dea presentation of color and were men- homecare and community outreach Fitzgerald, has now been made into Science Complex (Prince Philip The summer is quickly winding tioned in the local newspaper, along centre in Atlantic Canada celebrated a feature film starring Oscar winning Drive, St. John’s, NL) beginning at down for South West Nova Pride with pictures. diversity by entering a float in the actresses Brenda Fricker and Olympia 8:15 a.m., and running through the in Yarmouth. We had a very busy We are now looking forward to the 2010 Halifax Pride Parade. Dukakis. day to 5:30 p.m. summer, with picnics at the beach, winter season and plan on being just “We are seeing more diversity in Now the Playhouse has an- Among other topics, participants bowling nights, lots of pot-luck sup- as busy. We have organized a games culture, religion and lifestyle,” says nounced The Sex Festival, which will learn appropriate preventive pers, visits to places like Shelburne and pizza night once a month; our Rick Kelly, CEO of Northwood. features three plays, readings, visual health care and management of for the Whirligig festival, Clare for first games night was held October “These changes are a reflection of common chronic conditions for 5 at the Beacon United Church in our society and we need to recognize art and educational workshops all gender variant and transgender and celebrate our differences by pro- looking at sex, sexuality, more. patients; how to perform a medical viding a safe, positive and nurturing Continued to Plutonium, next page assessment for initiating transgender environment.” hormone therapy and its risks, effects Northwood already has an active and management. The workshop will diversity committee that understands also touch on transgender youth and every individual is unique and deserv- participants will learn about social and ing of respect. This was the first time psychological issues faced by gender Northwood participated in the Pride variant and transgender adolescents Parade, by entering the Northwood and young adults and strategies to Bus with residents, staff, family and work with them. friends walking behind—proudly car- Guest speakers include Dr. Jamie rying the Northwood banner. Feldman M.D., PhD; Dr. Joan Quinn Northwood was built on a foun- BScN, BSW, M.D., FRCPC; and dation of innovation and leadership Nancy Wright BSW, MSW(R). bowling, Halifax for the Pride Parade, Yarmouth at 6:30 p.m. If anyone that had at its roots a commitment Registration is $150.00 and the Middleton for a night of dancing, as wishes to attend future events please to bring about a social change in our deadline is November 5. Space is well as a few Sunday brunches at local contact Dianne at (diannefcc@yar. attitude towards the elderly and peo- limited, so for further information restaurants. eastlink.ca). We are also in the proc- ple at risk in our community. Today, contact Dr. Joan Quinn at (709) 945- With our first year under our belts ess of scheduling a monthly social Northwood is not a set of buildings 5800, e-mail [email protected]. as an organized group, I must say we that would include a pot-luck supper, with four walls; it is a vibrant commu- com, or register by mail by sending a have done very well, much better than music, and dancing. On occasion nity based on quality and excellence, cheque or money order to Dr. Joan any of us expected. To date, we have we hope to have special guests to and enriched by the people served entertain and educate our GLBT and the people who serve. Matt At The Sex Festival

HIV/AIDS Awareness Week 2010 Presented by the NS Advisory Commission on HIV/AIDS, Dalhousie School of Health & Human Performance, Black Student Advising Council, & NSRAP For more information visit www.gov.ns.ca/aids or www.nsrap.ca Wayves ­— November 2010 — 3 NSRAP Report Prostitution is a Queer Rights Issue by Kevin Kindred here on the East Coast? seek. Moreover, the sex trade can be When we let the state police what also have a government that’s looking Atlantic Canadian queers have a lot Well, in a way, nothing. An Ontario an important source of income to we do with our bodies, queers suffer for wedge issues to attract Canadians to applaud about the September 28 court can only affect the way the those marginalized from the main- most. The enforcers of the law don’t with a slightly-conservative bent into court decision overturning parts law works in Ontario (even though stream workforce, particularly in the care all that much about the sex prac- their camp. The smart money says of Canada’s prostitution laws. And it’s the same law across Canada.) LGBT community. That might not tices of empowered white straight they’ll be doing everything in their perhaps a little to fear, if we’re not Halifax police, for example, have said be a pleasant reality, but it is a reality guys. They go after those of us whose power to come up with a more repres- careful. it’s business as usual until they hear nonetheless, and surely a safer, saner sex lives challenge the norms and sive, more invasive law that’s worse As you have probably learned by otherwise. sex trade is better than one that puts make “right-thinking people” un- for sex trade workers. now, adult prostitution has long been But that answer’s comfortable. So when And that means widening the legal in Canada. But almost every too simple. We will we really get the state bedroom door to let the state in act associated with prostitution— be impacted by This country has never out of the bedrooms further. That hurts queers who have communicating about it, doing it in this ruling, either really lived up to Trudeau’s of the nation, queers no connection to the sex trade at all, your home, hiring someone to help because the federal are the ones who enjoy because it reinforces the notion that with the business—has been illegal. government will re- unfulfilled promise—“There’s the freedom the most. it’s right and good for the government Canadian law doesn’t really have a form the law, or be- You’ll recall from to tell us how to run our sex lives. consistent, thoughtful approach to cause the Supreme no place for the state in the my intro, though, that I We’ve seen where that takes us, and prostitution—pro or con. It just has Court of Canada also think there’s a little we need to swing the bedroom door a mishmash of rules put in place by will weigh in. And bedrooms of the nation.” bit to fear from this rul- in the other direction. politicians who wanted to feel like moreover, the debate that’s been its participants at risk. ing as well. Here’s why. That’s why I say prostitution law they did something about prostitu- sparked about prostitution is already Moreover, a liberalized attitude Just opening up a debate about reform is a queer rights issue. We tion, but didn’t really want to tackle happening at Maritime dinner tables, toward prostitution says good things prostitution, about the role of the need to take up this battle, and pres- a controversial social issue. coffee klatches and watering holes. I about the role the government has in state in the bedrooms of the nation, sure for laws that protect sex trade So the recent ruling is a step think this is mostly good news, and our sex lives. This country has never doesn’t determine the outcome of workers without inviting government towards sanity in the law—it clears here’s why. really lived up to Trudeau’s unfulfilled that debate. It’s just as possible that intervention in our private lives. Let’s away some of the rules that made the First, while the sex trade obviously promise—“There’s no place for the the debate turns the other way, and be true to that Trudeaupian dream. sex trade dangerous for sex workers, crosses all subcultures, ours has a state in the bedrooms of the nation.” we end up with worse laws than we If you want to let the federal while leaving in place laws that pro- special relationship to it. Queer folks We have a shocking number of laws started with. Justice Minister know how you feel tect children from being exploited, in the closet, or who are otherwise telling us how we’re allowed to gratify The government is going to have about the government’s intention to or adults from being forced into socially isolated, don’t have the same our sex drives. Not until you’re 16. to reform the prostitution laws one appeal the Ontario ruling, write to prostitution. Still a mishmash, and the outlets available as straight folks. Not anally until you’re 18. Not in a way or another. We currently have the Hon. Rob Nicholson, 105 East government needs to reform the law For some, paying for sex might be threesome if there’s anal sex involved. a federal government that wants to Block, House of Commons, Ottawa in an intelligent way. But a good start. the only realistic way of finding Not in isolated cruising areas. Not in scare Canadians into endorsing a sup- ON K1A 0A6 So, what does it mean to us queers the gratification almost all humans bathhouses. Not for profit. posed “tough-on-crime” agenda. We

Wayves Plutonium, Cont'd Wayves exists to inform Atlantic Canadian lesbians, gay men, bisexuals and transgender people of activities in their communities, to promote “Fat Pig,” by Neil LaBute (No- its glory. Colonoscopies, anal sex, Our Cover those activities and to support their aims and objectives. vember 15 – 21 at 8:00 p.m.) “Cow.” pinching a big brown loaf—it’s all “Slob.” “Pig.” How many insults can fun and games. Eric Smith, Wayves is an independent publication, published every month except you hear before you have to stand Each play will run for one week Photo by Anita Martinez February by a non-profit collective. Anyone who contributes to Wayves is up and defend the woman you love? (much shorter that Plutonium’s regu- Design by Cam MacLeod automatically considered to be a member of the collective and is welcome Tom faces just that question when he lar runs). So make sure you grab your to participate in all meetings and discussions. Wayves reserves the right falls for Helen, a bright, funny, sexy tickets for these productions early. young woman who happens to be The Sex Festival is rounded out Important to refuse material that might be reasonably considered heterosexism, plus-sized—and then some. with sex-themed events at Plutonium racism, sexism or an attack on individuals or communities. Opinions “The Obedients,” by Lee-Anne Playhouse, the Emotion Picture Gal- WAYVES Dates! expressed in Wayves are not necessarily those of the editorial collective. Poole (November 25 – 28 at 8:00 lery and FRED. Take in a figure pho- The article submission deadlines are posted in the Important Wayves Dates Issue Content Deadlines: p.m. with Saturday and Sunday 3:00 tography exhibit by Shaun Simpson, section of this page. Articles should be a maximum of 1,000 words and p.m. matinees.) A BDSM spin on Jean or a sex-themed reading by BLOW- Fridays: Dec 3, Jan 7, Mar 4, Apr 1: that is, the first Friday of each month (skipping may be edited for length. Submissions should be emailed in plain text to Genet’s “The Maids.” This French HARD. You can hear your personal the address below. Articles and letters may be published with pseudo- drawing room classic is reinvented fantasies come to life at a night of January.) You can send your news, ideas, in an S&M sex club by director Lee- live readings of Filthy E-Mails from comments, criticisms, columns, cartoons nyms or anonymously, but Wayves must have contact information for Anne Poole (author of “Splinters”). locally produced website filthyemails. and more to [email protected] the author. The copyright for all submissions remains the property of Submissives Solange and Claire plot org (where you can share your dirtiest any time! the original author/creator. revenge on their torturous Madame. thoughts anonymously!) And you can Production Meetings Advertising: Jim Bain, Advertising Manager, email at [email protected] or “The Asshole Monologues,” by learn something at educational work- (Halifax): Mondays: Dec 6, Jan Jane Kansas (November 30 – De- shops on anal sex and BDSM hosted call 902-889-2229. Responsibility for errors in advertisements is limited 10, Mar 7, Apr 4: help decide what goes to the value of the space. cember 5 at 8:00 p.m. with Saturday by Venus Envy and more. There’s a in the next issue, 7:30 PM, Blowers St and Sunday matinees.) The Asshole reason for everyone to come to The Paper Chase, Halifax. All welcome, every Circulation: use the email address below. Subscriptions, per year, are in Monologues do for the anus what Sex Festival. The Vagina Monologues did for the To see the full Sex Festival Sched- meeting. Canadian dollars: $20 + 15% HST = $23 in Canada, $30 in the United vajayjay (but with more cheek!).Take ule go to plutoniumplayhouse.com Magazine Layout (Halifax): States, and $35 elsewhere. Send cheque or money order to the postal a tour up the tunnel of love in all Dec 12, Jan 16, Mar 13, Apr 10: help build address below. the paper – no special skills required, just Wayves Wayves On Line! enthusiasm, and joining us even once, or P.O. Box 34090, Scotia Square Did you miss the last issue of Wayves? Or did your favourite distribution for a few hours helps a LOT! 9:30 AM. Halifax, Nova Scotia point run out of copies? Don’t fret! Now you can visit www.wayves. Email us for location. B3J 3S1 ca, and download the current issue, and the archives too! We have lots [email protected] of back issues on line too. If you’d like to be notified when the current We're on the stands, in the mail, and on- www.wayves.ca issue is online- email us at [email protected]! line on the fourth Friday of every month! Brought to You by // Where to Find Wayves

Anita Martinez Randall Perry Blowers Street Paper Cam MacLeod Raymond Taavel Chase for meeting Want to tell your friends where to Atlantic Canada and around the Daniel MacKay Val Windsor space get their own copy of Wayves? Your country. If there are none handy first stop should be to www.wayves. to your home, write to submis- Jim Bain Will Murray Your Name Here! ca; you can download the current [email protected] and tell us Zabrina Way Kim Fowlow issue, a back issue, and also get the where we should be! Ralph Higgins … and ... complete list of our distributors in 4 — November 2010 — Wayves Lesbian Soap Box Diaries Tattoo by L. Connors at the same time is something like out which one. But each of us in turn you was my last one Don’t look back fucking thing that I have ever done. No matter what you say about love I having a heart attack in the bathtub, has slammed the door on the situa- Got a new direction I just took a fifteen minute course to keep coming back for more Keep my flailing around to try to get out and tion, if only to draw back the blinds Last month I challenged my fear learn how to hock myself up to this hand in the fire Sooner or later I get drowning in the process; Unbear- to let in a ray of hope. Like Hansel of heights by taking my boys to line. There is not even a guide here to what I’m asking for able chest pain while gasping for air and Gretel, going out to explore the TreeGo. It’s a good thing that I went check and see if I’ve done it properly. I joke with friends that there is and fighting for your will to with them because my mater- I can’t even see my destination; it’s so no better time to go cold turkey with survive. All while crying out to I, apparently, am the girl nal instinct to stay with them far away. I CAN’T DO THIS!” But women than while recovering from the universe “What is the lesson and make sure they were okay with a line-up behind me there was a hysterectomy. I tell them that it is in this?” that I have been waiting was ever so slightly stronger no time to hesitate and there was no sort of like going to fat camp to kick They say a lesson is repeated than the urge to cling to the alternative way down anyway. start your diet. “You can’t even have until learned and this lesson is for to care enough to show tree tops crying like a baby Standing on that platform is a lot sex with yourself if you wanted to. so big that even I can’t miss it. to get down. The obstacle like my current situation. If nothing Believe me, I’ve tried, and that shit For the last decade of my life I up when I need her most. courses were not too bad. The else, I’ll always have my boys to push hurts!” Getting over the two great have been in love with one or physical demands of them forward for. There is no one here to loves of my life simultaneously while both of these women. It is hard for world, but still leaving a trail of bread were just enough of a distraction guide me. I’ve figured out that I, ap- recovering from being cut hip bone me to remember a time when I didn’t crumbs just in case. I am so tired of to keep my mind from the fear of parently, am the girl that I have been to hip bone is really no laughing mat- believe that I would marry and spend crumbs. I have no doubt that they plummeting to my death. Oh but the waiting for to care enough to show up ter. Believe me, I’m living it, and this the rest of my life with one of them. both are as well. zip lines, they were too much for me when I need her most. I can’t see my shit hurts. The last six months in particular, I No need to worry about every- to bear. Each time I reached one, my destination, but I have no alternative Grieving these two lost loves have spent desperately trying to figure thing I’ve done Live every second like mind would race: “This is the craziest but to finally just let go.

“Choose” to Transition? By Josie need, desire, and yearning to live the online to many others, I realized that I told her about it. As I researched what I was feeling. If being transgendered is simply a life they know was meant to be. In all, my passion for dressing (which I had more I began to fear the loss of my Imagine how I felt when the thera- choice then, by that same logic, I the choice to transition is quite often had since a toddler) was very differ- job, my family and friends, and in pist replied, “There’s nothing I can do am also choosing to breathe oxy- about life or death. Is that really just ent. It came from a different place some cases I feared for my life. I knew for you, I am not sure where to get gen, drink water, and wake up to go a choice, then? inside that didn’t match the cross- I needed help and not being one to help. Have you tried the Internet?” I to work. I don’t know where this After seeing many therapists for dresser norms of my e-friends. When shy away from a therapist, I called have never felt so alone in my life. It “choice” rumour started but I am depression and suicide for more I looked in the mirror at my female the most liberal-minded one I could was as if she brought a sip of water most certain it was not by a trans than twenty years, I found drugs and remember. to my raging inferno of an emotional person. If you ever hear anyone alcohol did the best job of quieting I realized that my passion for So just to be state. Did therapists know how often refer to the process of transitioning the inner demons. I also had a secret clear, let’s do a trans patients take their own lives as a “choice,” they truly are not us- passion to dress like a woman (that dressing (which I had had since a count of emotions as they feel no one can help? These ing the word the same as choosing I always felt ashamed about) that toddler)… came from a different going on with me questions haunt me every day. white bread or whole wheat. They enticed my boozing and drug habits. at this “coming I couldn’t help but wonder what are using the term because there are By 2008 I began to realize I was not place inside that didn’t match the out” stage of my other trans people had done before so few words in the English language the simple cross-dresser that I had life—the point this. Was this where they packed up to describe the feeling: compulsion, always thought I was. After talking cross-dresser norms of my e-friends. where I needed and moved? Not all of them did, and face, it was not arousal that hit me, it help the most. For starters I had I am proof of that, as there are a few was sheer joy. I finally could look at sadness and self-hate my whole life others in this area. But really, the story myself and not hate the sight of me. thus far. Add fear and terror of about getting the help I needed is not  That’s how I knew I was on the right anyone finding out about me being what I want to talk about here. Sim- track. After 10 minutes of reading transgendered, plus the heartache ply put, I did find the help I needed Welcoming all who are affected by gender about trans women on the web, I was of losing my wife and the pain of and I am transitioning here in the diversity: individuals who are trans-identified, certain I had found my answers that separation, loss of my dreams and Moncton area. their partners, parents, friends and families. no one bothered to think of these our lives together, and my incompre- past decades. hensible need to continue to become (To be continued...) Although I was having a break- female. Side that with a huge helping  through in finding the answers to so of depression for all of these things  many of my life long questions, at that I just don’t understand. Top it off that exact same time my outside life with more alcohol, unhealthy food,  started to crumble around me. I lost cigarette and drug addictions to help my wife of eight years as she could me cope. You can understand how not deal with me being trans when difficult it was to simply tell someone

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1598 Barrington St, Halifax. 902-422-0004 cell 209-7073 to order: 1.877.370.9288 or www.rosiep.ca www.venusenvy.ca Wayves ­— November 2010 — 5 I Am What I Amherst Gay-la, Walk For Life, Bowling by Gerard Veldhoven Pride Week. I remember it well as 50 place in Amherst. Pledges were down Mascot Fred, his mom, the queers The fall colours are vanishing from people showed up at the flag raising for this year and that was due to a few and their guests had a great time with sight for another year and no doubt ceremony at Amherst Town Hall. At reasons and one was thought to be a lots to eat and drink. Unfortunately various activities are being planned that point I was informed by town downturn in the economy. However, the Society’s other Mascot Ben, could for the upcoming holiday season. The staff that it was the best attended flag pledges in this area amounted to not make it! Amherst area is no exception as the raising ceremony ever in this town. over $1,000.00. The Northern AIDS We think of all the great stuff we Cumberland Pride Society is hosting I also recall that Mayor Jerry Hallee Connection Society believes that as do on a regular basis, but we must a Holiday Gay-la at the Wandlyn Mo- asked Norman to read the Proclama- keep in mind what goes on in the tor Inn in Amherst on December 4. tion. It was a proud moment for us “I wish more queers rest of the world. Even in Canada Ticket prices are not yet estab- both. We had no idea the Town of we still have lots to worry about; such lished but can be obtained shortly by Amherst would be so supportive. Of would come out. It’s as, the need to go to court because a calling (902) 660-5143, the society course, last year one hundred people prospective landlord refuses to rent website at cumberland-pride.sytes. attended and this July around eighty really nice out here.” an apartment to a queer couple, which minent. It seems that proper testing net or via email at cumberlandpride@ folks joined us. — Elton John recently happened in Vancouver. The is not done thoroughly. HIV/AIDS is hotmail.com. For those who need Sadly, Norman passed and he couple won and the landlord was on the rise with the highest percent- accommodations, the Wandlyn is would have been very pleased with all the economy improves, so will the fined. This is just one incident; oth- age being young teens and the elderly. offering rooms at $40 for persons the activities that took place this year. pledges. ers happen daily without much fuss Government obviously feels that it attending the celebration. Society Chair, Sue Reid, also com- One activity that seems to be being created by the parties affected remains a “gay disease.” The Cumberland Pride Society mented on how far we have come the popular is the monthly bowling night, by discrimination. Thus far we are experiencing a was founded four years ago in Sep- past four years. There are still many which takes place the first Thursday Another concern is the case in rather quiet time here in blueberry tember by Norman Carter and yours ideas floating around including a few of the month at the King Pin Bowl- Ontario where the provincial govern- country. However, don’t let that fool truly. It has been a wonderful journey changes in the by-laws and how we ing on Gerrard Avenue. Cumberland ment refused to budget for blood you, as plenty of news will be forth- thus far, especially as we notice an may be able to connect more with Pride activities will be announced donations from gay men. This con- coming with the holidays approach- increase in membership and the many other groups and services in Amherst. as soon as they are complete. A big tinuing saga about blood donations ing. I leave you with a quote from El- activities that have taken place. On September 19 the annual Hallowe’en Party took place at Sherri has been in the news for a number ton John: “I wish more queers would In July 2008 we celebrated our first Scotia Bank AIDS Walk for Life took Briand’s home. Cumberland Pride of years and yet a solution is not im- come out. It’s really nice out here.”

Prostitution Laws Reform? It’s About Time An opinion by Bill McKinnon stop covering up sexual misconduct gays are abused and sometimes killed Prostitution in Atlantic Canada, by priests and allow its clergy to by hustlers; and the mistreatment whether cloaked as legal or not, af- marry instead of damning prostitutes. of prostitutes by police is a national fects people of most sexuality clas- All Christians might also heed what shame, as is the spread of sexually sifications: straight, bisexual, lesbian, Jesus said about adulterers, “He that transmitted diseases in sometimes gay and transgendered. Even if we are is without sin among you, let him cast furtive sex-trade activities. not sex-trade workers or their clients, the first stone at her.” I’m for decriminalization of pros- prostitution and how it is treated in The Harper government has titution and the protection of both our statutes is a topic of concern to argued that prostitution is inher- sex-trade workers and their clients the LGBT community as a whole. ently dangerous and Canada could regardless of their sexual orientation. Sex-trade encounters occur fre- become a sex tourism destination That’s my view. What’s yours? Write quently all over Atlantic Canada and were prostitution-related activities to Wayves and say what you think. specifically in Halifax they are readily decriminalized. Be that as it may, For more information, see my available on “strolls,” on the Hill, in our laws discriminate against the article, “Sex Work 101: Understand- both gay and mainstream bars, etc. poor. High class hookers, call girls ing and Supporting Sex Workers” on US west coast AA guru Clancy I. and call boys including some mas- page 14 of the September 2009 issue has observed that society sees sex as sage therapists practice their trade in of Wayves (Site: wayves.ca, Wayves dirty and disgusting and we should safety as do mistresses of the rich and Online.) save it for someone we love. Well kept boys who only remain in place that’s about the way Canada’s laws because they are paid. That’s sex for portray prostitution; so it is refresh- money—not love. Similarly, if you ing that Ontario Superior Court have the bucks, you can trade in your Justice Susan Himel has ruled our wife or live-in boyfriend or girlfriend hypocritical and discriminatory laws whom you financially support for to be unconstitutional, i.e. they “are sex and that is legal. However, if you not in accord with the principles of are a poor whore, hustler or a poor fundamental justice, contributing to john, you are deemed a criminal. It’s the danger faced by sex-trade work- all about money and society’s hypoc- ers.” Of course, prostitution is not risy which provides one rule for the itself illegal. It’s keeping a common rich and another for the poor. Let’s bawdy house, communicating for the get real. purpose of prostitution and living Federal Justice Minister Rob on the avails of the trade that are il- Nicholson is considering an appeal legal, and to that doubletalk Homer against the Ontario Supreme Court Simpson’s comment would likely be, ruling and the lily-livered Ontario “D’oh!” McGuinty government will fol- Maybe we can now reform our low suit. Mr. Nicholson claims the laws and catch up with some of government wants to protect pros- the more enlightened governments titutes but it did nothing for Robert such as those of the Nevada, Hol- Pickton’s and other sadists’ victims, land, Germany and New Zealand. nor does it protect gay men who are Of course the Catholic Civil Rights beaten up and/or robbed by male League sees otherwise but that group hustlers. Mr. Nicholson needs to might better be named the Catholic know that johns abuse and sometimes Civil Wrongs League, and the Catho- murder hundreds of sex-trade work- lic Church would be well-advised to ers in Canada every year; hundreds of 6 — November 2010 — Wayves Criminal Queers By Daniel MacKay go through some kind of institution, On July 6, twenty-five people packed from foster homes to prison. into the second floor multi-purpose The hosts described “Sex Panic” room at Roberts Street Social Centre as a moral crusade which required (which can comfortably hold twelve) a crackdown on minority sexuality Hi Tom, for a workshop by two members of and scapegoated communities, queer I had stomach flu last week so I spent several days hud- on the W channel and when I had had enough of the the Prisoner Correspondence Project, public sex cultures, and street sex dled on the sofa, feeling sorry for myself and watching romantic weepies, I could switch to HGTV and watch a Montreal based organization pairing work, extending from books about hours and hours of daytime television. I think my nau- endless amounts of home decorating, renovating incarcerated gay and trans communi- prostitution being banned from sea was probably prolonged by the programming but shows. Have you ever noticed how all—and I mean ties with gay and trans communities prison libraries, to “no touch” policies my options were rather limited. And the commercials! all—of the contractors, carpenters and workmen on outside of prison. in elementary schools and woefully I adore Betty White but if I have to see that Snickers those shows are very, very hunky? They’re all tight jeans There were three main discus- inadequate sexual education in rural ad one more time ... I have increasing sympathy for and polo shirts that let us glimpse just a bit of tattoo sion topics: “Tough on Crime,” “Sex high schools; in Ottawa, cruising Elvis when he took a shotgun to his TV. Worse than on a firm bicep. Oddly enough, it didn’t occur to me Panic” and “HIV Criminalization.” parks got automatic motion-activated the constant repetition of the same commercials, is the to remark on the relative whiteness of their teeth nor During the first section, “Tough announcements warning people to absolute idiocy of many of them. Case in point, the search for signs of tiny pieces of toilet paper falling on Crime,” we discussed how queer move on. red and purple bears who talk about toilet paper. These down their pant legs. populations, as well as aboriginal, “HIV Criminalization” has re- poor bears are apparently plagued by the problem of My recuperation period also gave me a chance to black, and poor people, are presumed sulted in the prioritization of people having tiny bits of paper stuck to their behinds. I find catch up on past episodes of True Blood on HBO. to be criminal and are over-represent- willingly infecting, resulting in some this puzzling since the bears apparently have no ass (No commercials, thank you Jesus!) Like the home ed there. Historically, high crime areas severe distortions in testing—that crack or exit chute—if you know what I mean—so decor shows, True Blood is replete with sexy men, have been associated with cruising is, doctors encouraging patients to why do they even need toilet paper? Besides, Tom, have many of whom, because of their “unnatural” states of areas, washrooms; not so historically NOT get tested, because if they do you ever had a problem with toilet paper sticking to being, are required—conveniently for the viewer—to we have Truro’s Victoria Park, and not know their HIV status, they can’t your ass cheeks? Me either! So the whole ad campaign be naked much of the time. Vampires, shape shifters, “bawdy house” laws which are still be held criminally responsible for is designed to solve a problem that never existed! And werewolves and other creatures who defy classification, on the books. In the so-called “War transmitting the virus, or for failing they don’t even call it toilet paper anymore; now it is exist on the borderline of life and death, lusting for on Drugs” Canada followed the US in to disclose their status to a potential bath tissue. Bath tissue! How genteel we are becoming. blood and conquest and domination of the human race. giving more search and seizure rights; partner. Let’s pretend we don’t even know what toilet paper is It makes you rethink the whole bottom or top issue, LGBT communities have a higher For more information, visit www. used for. Bath tissue! It makes it seem like you would Tom. I mean if one of these men were to appear at use of drugs and thus a higher level prisonercorrespondenceproject.com. just fill the tub with lovely rolls of soft bath tissue and my door, glowing in the light of a full moon I might of policing; one quarter of transfolk then roll around naked enjoying the softness, secure be quite willing to bare an artery for him or run with in the knowledge that when you emerge there will be the pack in the forest howling my desire and longing no embarrassing tiny pieces stuck to your derrière. into the glittering, starry sky. Does that make me shal- And teeth whitening! Who decided that human low, Tom? A man who can put aside all thoughts of Trans Teens teeth should be the colour of freshly fallen snow? intimacy and human closeness for the possibility of There is a commercial about a young woman who is bestial, temporary, overwhelming sensual and sexual On CBC Radio devastated by the idea that her teeth will not be as white pleasure? You’re right, it probably does mean just that. By Bill McKinnon weekends. Episode four explains how as her wedding gown. How lucky that there’s a product The other big bonus of watching TV from my Recently CBC Radio One’s Main- the second person recovered from a that can help her achieve the unnatural dental brilliance sick bed was that I discovered a channel which shows street’s Nina Corfu talked to people self-doubting phase of cutting and that she desires. Once again resolving a problem that reruns of Golden Girls every day! Almost all the ladies about what it’s like to be a trans- burning himself to becoming a more exists only in the minds of the advertising executives. are gone now, sadly, but their brilliant comedic work sexual teenager in Nova Scotia in a positive individual who now eats I’m quite happy to have chompers that will effectively lives on. series called “He Said She Said.” The healthily, exercises, and loves his body. get me through dinner, you know, biting, chewing and Gotta go, Tom. This is the episode where Rose plays five-episode archive is available from Gender identity disorder can be swallowing. Furthermore, I have never once in my Henny Penny in an elementary school play as a tribute Mainstreet’s website at www.cbc.ca/ a distressing predicament. Trans life met someone and thought, Oh too bad his teeth to the chicken community. mainstreetns/ people say that aren’t whiter. I’m not saying that teeth that look like Love ya! archives/audio. Sex is about what’s a person’s sex the picket fence of an abandoned house are a turn html. is about what’s on for me, but neither am I impressed with a snowy T h e s e g - between the legs… Gender between the legs grin that requires me to reach for my sunglasses. Isn’t ments, which and a person’s life complicated enough without falling prey to some are each a little is what’s between the ears. gender is about advertising executive’s design to give you something over 10 minutes long, are about two what’s between the ears. When sex more to obsess about? For me the quality of a smile transsexual teenagers. One is transi- and gender do not seem to match, is measured by its sincerity and whether it’s reflected tioning from male to female and the the result may be an unhappy disor- in the eyes; it’s about humour and personality and other from female to male. In episode der. These four broadcasts are just a character, not about how its brilliance compares to one, we learn that a mother finds out primer, just a start in understanding someone’s preconceived notion of sparkling whiteness. that her son wants to be a daughter what transsexuals are all about, but Fortunately, for my peace of mind and blood pres- instead of a son. In episode two, this they may be of particular interest sure, there were also positive things during my time same transsexual teenager explains to young people who may have a of illness. There was a steady stream of chick flicks how hormone therapy is changing gender identity situation and to their her body. In episode three, we meet a parents. Listen to them and you may young man who used to be a woman be amazed. and still dresses like a woman on N Desig NN Fly N

Visit our lighting showroom 2698 Agricola Street, Halifax, NS Norma 902.420.0736 | normanflynn.com | lighting + design services Wayves ­— November 2010 — 7 Possible Selves An Exploration of Identity Anita's Photo

in small town Minto, New Brunswick. By far the most powerful piece in the series reflects Clark’s Christian- ity. Entitled “Conversion: My Father the Architect” the home merges and expands with architectural images of the church, its pillars and spires soar gloriously across the canvas, while fiery clouds represent passion for Christ. But it all comes crashing down in the final piece, “Present Day: I Will Walk Down This Road,” a dark representation of her life after being rejected by her church for being gay. Sombre blues and greys make up a winding street to an unknown desti- nation, the home is obscured by other Clark's Piece, “Air Quality Poor” austere and cold looking buildings, Solo Exhibit by Fredericton Collage and images of God and the church Artist Marsha Clark are nowhere to be found. There is a The Annex Gallery – The Playhouse feeling of being lost. It is haunting. until November 15, 2010 Clark is off to a good start in Review by Elliot J. Moore this first solo exhibit. Her edgy yet These folks celebrating the end of one incredible summer… and embracing the future fall and winter dreams. First it’s the colors that grab you: personal style draws you in with its Photo by Anita L. Martinez (902) 423 0703 bold reds, oranges and blues. Then intensity and honesty. My only criti- it’s the juxtaposition of images—a cism? More and bigger. seemingly sturdy turn of the century home appears off-kilter in one image and teetering on the edge of darkness in another. And fire—almost every- where is fire. Fredericton collage artist Marsha Clark has chosen her first solo exhibit to powerfully chronicle the develop- ment of her life. In a show called “Possible Selves” Clark explores the for question of identity and how it’s music all formed by mixing other mediums, such as photography, painting and drawing, to bring her experiences to life. There are six pieces on display ... for representing six stages of Clark’s life all music so far: childhood, adolescence, art school, her daughter’s birth, a con- Gaetano Donizetti’s Halifax tickets at Bookmark version to Christianity and, finally, Bowls of Cheer present day, living as an openly gay L’elisir d’amore Shelley Thompson and the 5686 Spring Garden Road woman. (Buy a book at Bookmark and get your The home image is a metaphor Amore—that’s Italian for love, girls! Blue Engine String Quartet that runs throughout each collage, Bowls of Cheer ticket for half price!) symbolizing a life. Its architectural elements of being built up and torn Lunenburg tickets at Fulton’s down represent the growth of indi- vidual personality. In the background 229 Lincoln Street of each piece is the setting, reflecting the environment Clark was in at the Series subscriptions and single tickets: time. Judging by the raw feel of the works, Clark’s life so far has had its (902) 423-0143 or (902) 634-9994 turbulent moments. In the collage “Adolescence: Way Way Down” the house is off sideways Saturday, November 20 7:30 pm Sunday, December 5 7:30 pm and hovering over a dark crack in its foundation. Fire is coming out the St. John’s Church, Lunenburg St. John’s Church, Lunenburg sides, while a black sky dominates in $25 Adult • $10 Student at the door $25 Adult • $10 Student at the door the background. The piece represents the struggle Clark experienced grow- ing up with an artistic temperament Sunday, November 21 7:30 pm Sunday, December 12 3:00 pm The very best of Nova Scotian & Canadian artists. in an otherwise conventional family Lilian Piercey Concert Hall, Halifax St. Andrew’s United Church, Halifax $25 Adult • $20 Senior • $10 Student $25 Adult • $20 Senior • $10 Student www.stcecilia.ca 8 — November 2010 — Wayves 30th Atlantic Film Festival: That's So Gay Programme Film Reviews Undertow Stonewall Gayby Uprising don’t think that you won’t be caught,” asserts one. Another shows in detail exactly how the homosexual male pervert entraps and converts the unsuspecting and innocent blond teen jock (hint: he has cards with dirty pictures on Review by: Justin-Barry Mahoney them.) Photo credit: Image Shack.com In another You’re in your late thirties, hopelessly surprise piece of single and celibate, and you want to have Review by: Daniel MacKay background, the physical geography a baby, but the idea of in vitro fertilization Photo credit: firstrunfeatures.com of Greenwich Village was illustrated, makes your wallet cringe and bureaucratic On September 24, the Park Lane both as still maps, and as amusing adoption procedures make you feel drow- cinema was three-quarters full of animated ones showing masses of sy. What’s a girl to do? Here’s an awkward queer historians and their friends marks, representing angry queers, and yet simple solution: send a quick e- Review by: Randall Perry Javier Fuentes-León’s “Undertow” waiting to see Stonewall Uprising. I rushing around the tiny Manhattan mail to your gay best friend from college Photo credit: Héctor Álvarez (“Contracorriente”) is a classic study was skeptical of the ability of the blocks to come up on the backside asking him to father your baby and hope Miguel loves Santiago. Santiago loves of small-town prejudice and close- filmmakers to make a feature-length of the police, until the latter had no that he responds with a “Yeah, sure, no Miguel. It should be simple enough ness and how a single forbidden documentary about an event which idea of where their attackers would problem. I’ll be right over” and that in nine in this day. But in a small fishing vil- transgression can affect a person was, depending on what you count, be next. months from then the whole situation will lage in Peru, nothing is that simple. for all time. Handsome actors Cris- two or three nights, with very little The original, period video and Miguel is married and has a child on tian Mercado (Miguel) and Manolo visual source material and almost photographic snippets are deftly the way with wife, Mariela. Santiago is Cardona (Santiago) exhibit wonder- no video footage. However, David woven into the recreated ones, also an artist, a photographer, gay and an ful on-screen chemistry against the Carter and David Heilbroner did it. shot in black and white, with very The Four Faced Liar outsider, frequently gossiped about stunning backdrop of Cabo Blanco, What I wasn’t expecting was for the little repetition. Contemporary in- by the village women and avoided by Peru. The story is solid and moving movie to paint the backdrop of the terviews are shown in colour; often the men. He doesn’t care, but Miguel without descending into melodrama. event in such lush and comprehensive a story will be recreated in black and does. So they love each other under It’s been said before, so allow me detail. white with brief flashes in colour the cover of darkness and outside the to repeat the analogy: “Brokeback The background material is told partly to the interviewee, forty years older boundaries of the village, away from Mountain” meets “Ghost” (in Span- by interviews with a half-dozen peo- than he or she would have been at the prying eyes. It’s enough for Miguel, ish with subtitles). ple who were active in the burgeoning time. The most unexpected one is an but ‘Tiago wants more, needs more. “Undertow” is at once a story of queer community at the time, and was interview with one of the cops who But when a tragic turn of events how tradition binds us, but it also tells supported by several truly horrific was there, and for a time, barricaded sweeps Santiago out to sea, his ghost of how we can free ourselves of those newsreels—the 16mm film kind that in the Stonewall Tavern while the returns to haunt Miguel, who cannot bonds. Miguel finds that being a man in the fifties and sixties were shown militant homosexuals raged outside. bear to let him go and turns the situa- sometimes means revealing his most to high school kids assembled in dark- That policeman gets the last shot in tion to his advantage. But it can’t last. secret self, and through that naked- ened gyms, the kind that surely must the film, and it’s a poignant one. ness comes personal redemption. have driven even more young queers The movie puts the beginning of to suicide than any bullying does the gay rights movement in perspec- today. “If we catch you with a ho- tive; it’s an interesting, important sto- mosexual, the rest of your life will be ry told without hysteria or hyperbole. Review by: Justin Barry Mahoney Bear Nation a living hell. And you will be caught; Every queer should see this once. We all do questionable things in our twen- ties. It’s how we test our limits without fame), who still rocks at a woofy 50. fear of being reprimanded by our parents He then moves us to Chicago for a whom we left in their empty nest. We high-level look at Bear Pride, one of A special shout out and thank you to all are adults, after all, ready to pompously the premiere, although not the larg- the volunteer reviewers who helped cover conquer the world one tequila shooter at est, bear events in the United States, Angel the excellent line up of films in the 2010 a time. As twenty-somethings, we question before hopping the pond to the UK Atlantic Film Festival's That's So Gay our moral sensibilities while defending to check out the subculture there. programme. our half-baked notions about absolutely Some time is spent with comedian everything while quoting forgotten pas- Kevin Smith (executive producer Wayves Magazine was proud to partner sages of Wilde’s Dorian Gray, all in an and friend of Ingram) for a different with this year's film festival. effort to sound smart and in control of (read: straight) perspective before our own destiny. But in reality, all it takes heading back to the original group is a quick call from Mom to remind our- Review by: Randall Perry of bears for a wrap-up. selves of how vulnerable we really are. Toronto filmmaker Malcolm Ingram It’s a tidy package, casual and un- “The Four-Faced Liar,” directed by Jacob recently turned his cameras toward complicated by analysis of deep ex- Chase, shows us that coming to terms the queer beard set and the result, the positories about balancing individual Review by Owen Johnstone takes to the streets on a mission. It’s with our twenties comes at the price of documentary “Bear Nation,” explores differences and tastes while maintain- Halifax director Dennis Envoldsen’s when she leaves the bar that we re- security, friendship and making out with the question, “What is a bear?” ing a sense of community—albeit a film, “Angel,” takes us beyond the gay ally get to delve into the life of drag a hot lesbian in a dirty pub’s washroom. The film can be neatly summed up community subject to its own com- scene and backstage into the life of and out of everyday gay culture. The “The Four-Faced Liar” tells the story as a kind of Bear 101—it’s an intro- plications and fragmentations. The a drag queen. It’s dark, it’s dirty, and array of reactions she so handsomely of Molly, an English literature student, duction to the bear subculture made bear interviewees are wonderfully it’s exciting. Punching up the Atlantic ignores from strangers as she walks who moves in with her boyfriend Greg, up of hairy (sometimes smooth), candid, baring their insecurities and Film Festival with some queer con- the streets in her makeup, wig and a trust fund kid with business aspirations. butch (sometimes fey), all-embracing some of their own prejudices while tent, this short film starred Halifax’s heels is so genuine. Discarding the Both lived in a comfortable suburb of (sometimes excluding), Rubanesque extolling their sense of belonging. most talented drag queen, Farrah mask of a diva, we see her as her true New Jersey until one day Molly decided (or not) gay men who don’t (or don’t Ingram shows us a gay male subcul- Moan, as the beautiful Angel. The human self through her feelings and she wanted to live in the big city. Greg want to) fit in with the stereotypical ture very much in its formative years, film brought us into Angel’s life but her struggles, and not just a person feels as though New York doesn’t look plastic, glammy, bitchy, Glee-loving still exciting and fresh with a sense left some of us wanting more. With of novelty. We feel for her and we like Hollywood’s romantic portrayals. contemporary queer mainstream. of discovery. questions left unanswered, the ending fear for her. Molly, on the other hand, loves every Ingram begins in Toronto with Enjoyable and recommended is up to the viewer to determine: what This film stood out as a highlight, gritty moment of it. She wants to feel alive a series of casual interviews with (even though Smith’s “fat guys getting happens next? What’s the real story not only for its content matter, but and connected. At a pub, Molly meets various bear-type men including—a laid” schtick got old after the fifth behind the person she’s looking for? for its overall artistic and professional nonchalant Bridget and her roommate nice surprise, I think—musician Bob permutation). Starting out in a generic gay club quality. Tripp, a playboy in the making. A drinking Mould (of Hüsker Dü and Sugar filled with glitter and lights, Angel Wayves ­— November 2010 — 9 30th Atlantic Film Festival: That's So Gay Programme Film Reviews The Secret Diaries of Anne Lister

help solidify your relationship for Cut to the bed where our view poetic scenery, it lacks in unpacking years to come. This is the story of is set firmly over the gay-straight the layers of meaning and under- Jenn and Matt in Jonathan Lisecki’s couple’s heads staring blankly at the tones. “Gentleman Jack,” as Anne witty short, “Gayby.” ceiling as they discuss in staccato the was nicknamed by the angry, mi- Matt knocks at the door. Jenn best ways of getting sexually aroused sogynistic homophobes of the day, nervously answers. Awkward hugs in order to “perform.” Matt elegantly was an educated, articulate, wealthy are given. Awkward glances are proposes to “just stick it in while I’m woman. Her privilege and supportive strained. Lisecki dives us directly about to come.” No foreplay and no family allowed her to live her life as into a conversation where diapers passion here; just funny talk and a she chose and she did so with aban- and pabulum feedings are the main deep need to be a parent. Just close don. She was a strong feminist, who point of focus. There is no conver- your eyes, wait until it’s over and hope worked hard to retain her individual- sational foreplay in this haphazard the little soldiers find their way home. ism at a time when individualism anti-romantic comedy, and it’s As in most after sex moments, if was not only frowned upon but also refreshingly hilarious. The camera you stick around long enough for it thought improper for any woman. focus is shaky and tightly frames that is, your real feelings and aspira- Historical accounts of the lives the main characters, making us feel tions may come out in conversation. of any woman, especially lesbians as though we are part of the conversation In Jenn and Matt’s case, sitting on the Review by: Dawn Archambault cally lesbians. are without a doubt highly valuable or that we should have our say. Nervous rooftop on a cold winter day has a so- The Secret Diaries of Anne Lister is Conspicuously absent from most contributions to fill the holes in our laughter ensues from our part as we em- bering effect on them. Self-reflection the sensual life story of a privileged historical accounts are the struggles history books. However one cannot pathise with Jenn’s dilemma. and confidences ensue. The nervous lesbian writer born in 1791. Her story lesbians faced when women in gen- help but wonder how vastly different It doesn’t take long for Jenn to explain laughter slowly melts away. As the takes place in Halifax, West York- eral were considered commodities by were the experiences of lesbians who to her gay friend that she wants to have his credits roll, we are left reflecting on shire in the UK. This film provides their fathers and then chattel by their did not come from privilege and who baby “the old fashioned way.” Rather than our own life choices… and our pos- a valuable account of the lives and husbands. did not have the freedoms that Anne’s be taken aback from the baby proposal, sible offspring. struggles of not just women during While this film provides compel- life allowed. after long pauses and conversational side this patriarchal time but more specifi- ling script, sumptuous eroticism and glances Matt warms up to the idea of help- ing his friend to fill her emotional void. Perhaps the idea of seeing a little person made in his image is what gets him under the covers with Jenn. The Four Faced Liar

game of “never have I ever” reveals that Bridget prefers the company of women, preferably a different one for every day of the week. Molly is captivated by Bridget’s candour and ability to seduce every woman she desires. It doesn’t take long for Molly to wonder what Bridget’s sweet lips would feel like pressed up against hers. Is Molly becoming a lesbian? Is it normal to experiment with other women at this age? What does the disorganised and uncombed Bridget have that manicured and well pressed Greg doesn’t that makes Molly swoon for the hot lesbian? These are the thoughts that lead Molly to experi- ment with her sexual attraction for Bridget (after a drunken make out session in the pub’s questionable washroom) while keep- ing Greg on the side. It is never explained why Molly does the things she does. She loves Greg and doesn’t want to hurt his feelings. She also loves Bridget but would rather keep their passionate affair hidden from their friends. Molly says she “just wants to be pushed up against the wall” when making love. This may be the best way to describe Molly; she is in search of what makes her feel real—at any emotional cost. Unfortu- nately, emotions are ephemeral and hold no logic. We are left with a Y-generationer that would rather hide her true feelings behind a thin social veil of drinking games rather than confronting them. 10 — November 2010 — Wayves Chef’s Corner What to do with all that leftover Halloween pumpkin? Pumpkin Sun-dried Cranberry Bread Pudding In my “restaurant chef world” you cook them Ingredients (serves 8) all down to a purée, vac-pack and freeze. Rec- 4 egg yolks 1 cup brown sugar ognizing that this is a time consuming process 2 whole eggs 1 cup pumpkin purée doesn’t really fit most anyone’s life style—unless 1 cup whipping cream 2 tbsp pumpkin pie spice (sold as such 1½ cups dried cranberries you are independently wealthy and have a Mar- 1 cup milk in most grocery stores) 1 lb day old brioche or sweet yeast tha Stuart fetish—I have chosen a recipe that bread (also works well with leftover is inspired by the great fall harvest, yet will not pound cake) cut in small dice pieces take too much of your time away from the Mall. Method 1. Combine eggs, cream, milk, sugar pumpkin and spices with a whisk. This recipe calls for canned pump- 2. Pour the mixture over the bread or cake and dried cranberries. Mix gently and let soak overnight, or at least Chef Darren is Chef de Cuisine kin purée and a bag of dried cranber- 2 hours. and Co-owner of Chives Cana- ries, which can be picked up while 3. Place in a greased and wax paper lined 9 inch spring form pan. dian Bistro, Halifax, N.S. Top 100 you are at the mall (heh heh!). This is 4. Wrap the outside of the pan in foil to make a water proof seal. restaurants – “Where to Eat in a great seasonal dessert that has been 5. Bake at 325°F in a hot water bath (2-inch baking pan with hot water to 2/3 up on the side the cake pan) for Canada” Best Fine Dinning – “The featured at Chives over the years and approximately 1 hour, or until a toothpick comes out clean when inserted in the center of the cake. Coast” Member of “La Chaine has always drawn great reviews. It’s des Rotisseurs” world gastronomi- quite simple and quick to prepare cal society. For reservation call which makes it even more attractive. Serving suggestions (902) 420-9626, or online at www. Give it a try and let me know what I like to serve this pudding warm with caramel sauce, chopped pecans and lots of fresh whipped cream. Yum! chives.ca. you think. Review Expressway by Sina Queyras iambic pentameter, Queyras sets up smell of buckshot and tar,” a woman successful collage of text from Dor- The Blakean “Proverbs of Hell” is Toronto: Coach House Books (2009) her interest in form, narrative, and as likely to hop on her scooter as on othy Wordsworth’s Grasmere Jour- distinctly contemporary, hinting at Reviewed by Mary Kathryn Arnold ideas—the clash of the old and the her skateboard. More thoughts on nals. “Misdirections” contains some environmental Armageddon: “The “There’s a lot of pussy in this book. new that is post-modernity. A woman nature: “Nature is what is caught, of the book’s most satisfying poems, road of CO2s leads to rising seas… Even when it seems to be about walks on a patch of green along the cellular, / Celluloid… (Perhaps na- such as “Acceptable Dissociations,” So the price of oil goes, so goes the something else, just think pussy,” I-95, the highway that wends its way ture/ Is childhood.).” These poems with its unconnected yet insistent number of wars… A wholesome Sina Queyras has jokingly said of down the Eastern Coast of the Unit- are haunted by literature, our heroine closing questions hinting at romance food comes in fewer than sixteen her latest book of ed States, a “cellphone preoccupied by Emily Dickinson: and poetry: “Who wants a date who pieces from seven states.” poetry, “Expressway.” at her ear.” She is the “Dickinson an ice pick scratching/ can’t dance? / Who wants a line An indictment of uniformity, cor- Her previous book, Romantic wanderer Wings in her brain.” without rhythm? / Who wants a line poratization, and our own complicity, the excellent Lamb- in a post-Romantic The book’s riskiest sections are without thought?” In “Three Dreams “Expressway” is romantic, realistic, da Award-winning world, walking past its fourth and fifth: “Crash” (IV) is of the Expressway,” Queyras dreams and queer to the core, poetically com- “Lemon Hound,” was condos thinking about entirely composed of phrases from of women taking to the highways to mitted to the curved rather than the a book-length conver- “the idea of / River” Google on the theme of car crashes, dismantle what men called progress, linear: “The expressway is a straight sation with Virginia as much as of the river while “Some Moments From a Land putting down their laptops and iPods line, but the crooked road remains the Woolf. “Expressway” itself, about Ausch- Before the Expressway” (V) is a semi- in favour of pickaxes and hammers. road of genius.” may be implicitly les- witz and Darfur and bian, but it is explicitly the way we continue about nature and tech- KRISTA SNOW to hope despite count- Time…nology, just as high- less horrors. It’s too to thinkways about are carvedinvesting. out Consultant late to romanticize of rocks and forests. [email protected] as she carries Time… It’s never too early,“Expressway” or too late, to pro start- investing. her father’s ashes, for But what’s the best option for you and your lifestyle? (902) 457-3050 That’s where aclaims qualified its Investorslineage as Group a Consultant “Nature, / One con- to think about investing. and The Plan™collection, our unique, of Romanpersonalized- approach cludes, is nostalgia.” to financial planning,tic poems can withhelp. Callthe ustitles to findit borrows out Then, in the book’s second sec- more about howfrom The William Plan™ can Blake help you(the prosper recurring tion, “This Is Not My Beautiful It’s never too early, or too late, to start investing. now… and overrefrain time. “A Memorable Fancy” and Poem,” Queyras comes out as a But what’s the best option for you and your lifestyle? the book’s final section “Proverbs feminist, resisting the heterosexist of Hell”), yearning for connection expectation that as a woman, she That’s where a qualified Investors Group Consultant in a world where technology isolates will make beautiful art (think Ma- and The Plan™, our unique, personalized approach ™ Trademarks owned by IGM Financial Inc. and licensed to its subsidiary corporations. us and diminishes our natural re- rinaInvestors Abramović’s Group Financial 1975 Services Art MustInc. Be to financial planning, can help. A Consultant will MP1343 (02/2008) sources. But Queyras’s fourth book Beautiful, Artist Must Be Beautiful), of poems also comes out of another defending her decision to include advise you on how to improve your saving and tradition, that of Western Canadian texting and cellphones over loons investment habits and help you make the very women writing nature poems (think and redwoods in her contemporary most of your money. Jan Zwicky and P.K. Page). The consideration of nature, now look- Montreal-based Queyras, who was ing out from Toronto’s Gardiner Call us to find out more about how The Plan™ raised in British Columbia and wrote Expressway. Here Queyras comes can help you prosper now… and over time. Expressway in Alberta, is closer still closest to lesbian love poetry: “Fleet- in style to Western Canadian feminist ing, fleeting, the backs of your heels, poets Phyllis Webb and Erin Mouré: the salt on my/ tongue.” spare, cerebral, avant-garde, and Section 3, “Because Every Road KRISTA SNOW questioning. Is Made With Dynamite,” reveals the From the opening poem, “Soli- heroine to be a woman of vim and Consultant tary,” with its unrhymed triplets of vigour: “Where her uterus/ Was the [email protected] KRISTA SNOW

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MP1343 (02/2008) MP1343 (02/2008) Wayves ­— November 2010 — 11 Ramblings from the Sanctuary Garden The Slow Down Movement Beckons By Bethana Sullivan three of my largest beds, never mind This is, I think, a version of the so much of what we do these days Writing this monthly column is a the NDP allowing Nova Scotia Power goutweed in my garden. is reactive just because of the sheer good way to check on the process and to use woodchips to create power, So I woke up the other morn- amount of what we know and what events that I am engaged in and that or what is happening to our young ing thinking about all of this, about is happening—it is a continue stream surround me or pass me by in a blur. gay friends bullied into dying or the how permaculture is becoming just of information flooding our systems. Sometimes it reminds me of how dis- Catholic church disseminating hate another thing to do. In talking to a Deeper than the amount of infor- jointed I feel as I reel from one thing towards us or the dreadful fear mon- friend about it all he was reminded mation is the stream of fear flooding to another, bouncing off ideas in gering by Homeland Security forces us: it is this that needs to be dammed. meetings, stumbling over rocks in the that makes those already fearful try It is about reading, talking And not by mindless words of grati- garden and ducking the spice jars as to keep out everything different from tude, ungrounded euphoria or simpli- they fall out of the cupboard—oops, them.... It is overwhelming. with others, engaging fied spirituality but by deep listening there’s goes my fish bowl! And then on the other side we in community but, hey, to the earth, by observation of what My permaculture journey is be- have the happiness project, the daily who has the time? works and what doesn’t, through coming much like the other things in quote being delivered right to the conversation with each other using my life: big, important, exciting, inter- computer to enforce positive think- of how his father used to come home words that recognize and open us to esting, all-consuming. It’s like a snow- ing; the “let’s be grateful” movement; after work, change his clothes, and go each other and by slowing down, feel- ball that becomes an avalanche. It isn’t the “don’t raise your voice because sit on his lawn to weed it for an hour ing the fear, learning how to ground supposed to be like this. It’s supposed you might offend someone or worse, or so. Just a steady, everyday task that with it and still be active. Not running, to be about silence, observation, get- scare them or even worse, be labelled kept the weeds at bay while providing running, running. in the spring, repeating the above ting in touch with the inner spirit of ‘difficult to manage’ and as such a him a quiet time to be while doing. As to the garden goutweed I took steps if necessary and then replant. the land, the self, listening to hear threat to Homeland Security” move- And we marvelled at what life was like out all the perennials of one bed and The other two beds I will tackle in what needs to heal and how to do it. ment; and most of all, the “let’s be so than that allowed for such a thing. I am digging out by hand the roots the early spring before the goutweed It is about reading, talking with oth- busy being responsible for our health told my friend that I find I am react- of the goutweed than I will cover it begins to grow. ers, engaging in community but, hey, that we don’t ever have to really think ing to the events and people around with layers of cardboard and inches So I guess, in the end, I am still who has the time? What about the about what is going on in us and me, that I woke up with the resolve of mulch and overwinter the bed, interested in permaculture and in the goutweed strangling out the plants in around us” movement. to stop this. It won’t be easy because checking for any goutweed growth “slow down” movement. Facebook: Leaving the Addiction Behind By Christian Corbet However, the main motivation is the working system Facebook is for busi- actually a Constitutional Right! So letting our community know we are It has often been referred to as fact that it’s a time-vacuum, sucking ness, especially exposing people to a did it work? Damn right it did and it alive and well, and they will still keep “Crackbook” or FB, and even to up all my bits of the day where I group that is close to my heart called awakened them to the reality that we me in the loop. some it’s a life line for daily gossip. should be working in my studio or as Corner Brook Pride. And network are, in fact, a part of the community, So for me, I realize I won’t have I respect that. However, Facebook Chairperson of Corner Brook Pride. it did! Within the first week New- and there was no silencing us. everyday “creeping” rights into the is no longer for me. It may be the I am bored reading about people’s foundland and Labrador’s first legally So now down to the nitty-gritty. lives of other people, and likewise for leading social network in the world children advancing from diapers registered non-profit Pride organiza- Yes, I, the “creator” of the Corner them to see what I am doing—but I and excellent for profiling businesses, to pull-ups or from people who tion garnered over 100 friends and Brook Pride Group, have left FB. am here. E-mail me, send an instant organizations and other groups, but bitch about that little caterpillar that supporters from all walks of life. Six Does this mean that the group closes message via MSN or even write me a personally I am tired of it. crossed their sidewalk! Some talk can weeks later the Corner Brook Pride down? Absolutely not. It will carry letter (I do like receiving tangible mail I decided to leave Facebook last be so trivial—at least to me. Group escalated to over 600 people on with our other administrators other than bills!). My time now will be month for a number of reasons. I came to realize what a great net- worldwide. Nice! And we didn’t have while I focus more on the business dedicated more to Pride and sustain- to pay a cent to advertise—even bet- of chairing Corner Brook Pride for ing a growing and glowing LGBT ter. Such exposure shone a bright 2011. As for the administrators of community here in western New- spotlight on western Newfoundland, the group, they will carry on gleefully foundland and Labrador and beyond. enlightening the LGBT community, both locally and beyond, to the fact that this often forgotten side of our island is out and proud and gearing up for our first official Pride for September. FB did that for us—or, rather, we instigated all this community exposure to profile who we were, what we were doing and where we are going. We utilized the FB group to let City of Corner Brook officials realize that we had a right to a voice and that Freedom of Expression was

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Everyone dreams of a future with For our Free Special Report on RRSPs or a personal, financial consultation, contact: a comfortable retirement. An RRSP can help you to lower your M.D. (Mike) Williams taxes, grow your savings in a tax ...solid financial solutions sheltered environment, while pro- viding for your future. 902-481-5645 or 1-800-450-2425 E-mail: [email protected] We can objectively shop the www.williams-wealth-management.com financial marketplace for the RRSP solution that is right for you. 12 — November 2010 — Wayves W ay v e s G r o u p s A n d S e r v i c e s Atlantic Canada Spectrum: social and support group for AIDS Saint John: To improve the quality St. John's Pride: St. John's Official Pride Centre at bottom of stairs) Al-Anon/Alateen: for families & friends of students, staff and faculty at UNB and STU. of life for those infected & affected by HIV/ Organization. web: www.facebook.com/ Anonymous HIV/AIDS Testing: 455-9656 problem drinkers. Does someone you know email: [email protected] web: www.unbf. AIDS, and to reduce the spread of HIV group.php?gid=2497860774 have a drinking problem?. 466-7077 web: ca/clubs/spectrum (Meets Fridays during through education and a needle exchange Bedford United Church: An Affirming Min- www.freewebs.com/alanonmaritimes the school year. See webpage for location.) program. Call the office for details. 652-2437 Nova Scotia (902) istry of the United Church of Canada - ALL welcome. 835-8497 email: bedfordunited@ AtlanticCanadianLesbians: Online Group UNB/STU Women's Collective: Women of email: [email protected] web: www.aids- Hepatitis Outreach Society: Since 1999 saintjohn.com eastlink.ca web: www.bedfordunited.com, For Lesbians from the Atlantic Provinces. all ages and orientations. , meets every the Hepatitis Outreach Society has been meets every Sunday (9 am service - Casual AtlanticPoz: A new discussion group is Monday at 5pm at the University Women's Gay Men’s Supper Club: web: www.port- providing support, education and prevention and contemporary - with free coffee and muf- for individuals living with HIV in Atlantic Centre at the SUB cityrainbowpride.com, meets 3rd Saturday information for those infected and affected fins before church to take into this service. Canada. web: health.groups.yahoo.com/ (See webpage for more information) at 220 by hepatitis in the province of Nova Scotia. 11 am service - Quieter and more reverent in group/atlanticpoz/ Moncton Germain St. Saint John New Brunswick 420-1767 in HRM or 1-800-521-0572 tone, coffee after service. June 13 to around PFLAG: Provides support to anyone deal- email: [email protected] web: September 12 we have one 10 am service.) Egale Canada - Atlantic: (888) 204-7777 AIDS Moncton: offers support to people liv- www.HepatitisOutreach.com at Our office email: [email protected] web: www. ing with issues of sexual orientation and/or at 1200 Bedford Hwy at Sullivan's Hill, near ing with HIV and their families and friends, gender identity. (506)648-9700 or 648-9227 is located at 2973 Oxford Street, between Atlantic Gardens egale.ca education and awareness. 506-859-9616 Liverpool and Cork streets. Please call to email: [email protected] web: BLT-Womyn of Halifax: Bi Sexauls, Lesbian, Gender Expressions Atlantic: Support for email: [email protected] www.pflagcanada.ca/saintjohn, meets 1st make an appointment or email Program@ transgendered individuals ranging from web: www.sida-aidsmoncton.com at (506- HepatitisOutreach.com. Transgender Womyn's Discussion Group. Friday (1st Friday of each month September Sue's # 499-0335 email: sueandrews1964@ Crossdressers to Transexuals. email: gen- 859-4726 fax) 80 Weldon St, Moncton, NB, - June from 7:00- 9:00 p.m. No meeting in Positive Connections: Teleconferenced [email protected] (No sched- E1C 5V8 hotmail.com web: ca.groups.yahoo.com/ July & August. ) at 116 Coburg Street in Saint support groups for people living with AIDS. group/blt-womynofhalifax/ (Every second uled meeting. Occasional social events, by Moncton Line Dancing: LINE DANCING for John, New Brunswick in the Community email: [email protected], meets invitation only.) Sunday evening 6pm - 7:30pm ) at Dalhousie all levels from beginner to advanced. No Health Centre next to St. Joseph's Hospital. every Monday (evening 7:00pm - 8:00pm) Women's Centre 6286 South Street (Beside Healing Our Nations: Healing Our Na- partner required. No dress code. , meets Port City Rainbow Pride: Pride Celebrations at by phone. No long distance charges. For Dalplex Driveway) Hope to see you at the tions is an Aboriginal HIV/AIDS service every Wednesday (8:30pm sharp) at Trian- Committee. email: events@portcityrainbow- more info call 425-4882 ext 228 or 1-800- next meeting! organization that serves the Atlantic region. gles Bar, corner of St. George and Archibald. pride.com web: www.portcityrainbowpride. 566-2437 ext 228 or e-mail. 1.800.565.4255 email: director@access- DalOUT: LGBTQ Society at Dalhousie. 494- PFLAG: Supporting all people with ques- com SUNS GLB Constituency Committee: 494- 2190 email: [email protected] web: societies. wave.ca web: www.hon93.ca (Training of- tions or concerns about sexual orientation 6654 at c/o the Students' Union of NS fered on request at no charge for Aboriginal Saint John LGBTQ Lending Library: over 300 dsu.ca/dalout, meets every Thursday (Dur- and gender identity issues. (506) 869-8191 fiction and non-fiction titles. 634-8288 email: The Rainbow - Atlantic Awareness Society: ing the academic year we meet at about peoples and/or organizations.) at 15 Alder- email: [email protected] web: ney Dr., Suite 3, Dartmouth, NS. B2Y2N2 [email protected] (open Monday email: [email protected] 7pm each Thursday night.) at Dalhousie www.pflagcanada.ca/moncton.html, meets through Friday, 9 AM to noon.) at the office University, check OUT our website or contact Integrity: Integrity is an organization of GLBT 3rd Monday (Occassionally on the 2nd Venus Envy Bursary Society: An annual of Centenary Queen Square United Church award open to all women studying in NS. us for details Anglicans and their friends, to encourage Monday — please call) at 7:30-9:30pm, at 215 Wentworth Street. Christian gay men and lesbians in their University of Moncton, Adrien-J.-Cormier web: www.venusenvy.ca/halifax Frontrunners Halifax: Running/walking club. spiritual life; to support the Church in its Bldg., Room 302 The UNBSJ Q-Collective: A social and sup- 422-7579 email: Bruce.Greenfield@dal. port organisation for UNBSJ students, staff ca web: www.frontrunners.org/clubs/index. commitment to seek and serve Christ in all River of Pride-riviere de fierte INC. of Greater Amherst people; and to reach out to the GLBT com- and faculty. 506-648-5737 email: QCollect@ php?club=Halifax, meets every Saturday, Moncton: The organization meets regularly, UNBSJ.ca web: www.unbsj.ca/clubs/qcollec- Sexual Health Centre Cumberland County: and every Tuesday, and every Thursday munity in Christian love and service. (902) to discuss upcoming events and activities, Open and inclusive services: information, 425-8383 web: www.integritycanada.org tive (The UNBSJ Q-Collective is interested (Sat: 9:30am, Tue: 6:00 pm, Thu: 6:00pm ) everyone is welcome to attend. check out in hearing from other university LGBTQ or- education, workshops, free condoms. 667- at Main gates of the Halifax Public Gardens, Maritime Transgender Workplace Solutions time / location posted on the website. Media ganisations and would like to possibly meet 7500 email: [email protected] web: corner of Spring Garden Road and South Project: Transgender Issues Workshops and and general inquiries, including registration or collaborate.) at Various locations; event cumberlandcounty.cfsh.info (9 - 5 drop-in Park Street. information resource. email: denisesined@ of volunteers and parade particpation, can or appt) at 11 Elmwood Drive. Confidential, particulars will be emailed to anyone who GAY, LESBIAN & BISEXUAL YOUTH ns.sympatico.ca web: www3.ns.sympatico. be made from the website or by email. registers with the UNBSJ Q-Collective and/ hassle-free. Free condoms. ca/winpapernews (No meetings, Workshops email: [email protected] web: GROUP AT Q.E.H.: Jeanie Buffet, Counsel- or who gets the UNBSJ weekly “E News”. The Cumberland Pride Society: for: gay, les- lor, at 421-6797 by arrangements, Information source when www.fiertemonctonpride.ca (See webpage Past events include the annual Rainbow for schedule.) bian, bisexual, transgender and transsexual requested. Newsletter Odds & Sods bi- Peace March, guest speakers, movie nights, individuals. 660-5143 email: cumberland- Get Out, Halifax!: Recreation activities (team weekly) Safe Spaces Moncton Region: Education on participation in Maritime Pride Parades, Sup- [email protected] web: cumberland-pride. activities, cycling, running, rowing - you Mr Atlantic Canada Leather Society: Dedi- how to create safe environments for GLBT- porters of PFLAG Canada's "Communities sytes.net, meets 3rd Monday (7-9 PM) name it) for metro & beyond!. web: www. cated to developing gay leather communi- TQQ youth. 859-9616 Encourage Campaign" and "Champions getouthalifax.ca at Visit and get on the email list for more info. ties in the Atlantic region. email: waydo7@ Transgendered Peer Support Group : Against Homophobia". Antigonish hotmail.com Open to all M2F, F2M, Andro and trans- Girl-ish Productions: Girl-ish puts on hot Names Project (AIDS Memorial Quilt): supporters from across Atlantic Canada. Woodstock Rainbow Warriors: Rainbow Warriors is a and heavy bi-monthly-ish dance parties panels - helping create, and lending. 902- email: [email protected] youth-run support group for LGBTQ youth for queer-ish folks and their friends. email: Woodstock GLBT Youth Advocate and and allies in Antigonish. We hold social [email protected] web: www. 454-5158 email: [email protected]. UN sur DIX - l'Association des étudiant.e.s ca web: www.quilt.ca (Call if interested in Family OutReach: Books, movies, advice, events such as picnics and game nights, girlish.ca GLB de l'Université de Moncton: Vise à édu- directions, contacts, and support etc. for have educational discussions around top- volunteering or making a panel) at 3544 quer, à sensibiliser et à offrir des ressources Hal-Gal Mailing List: Low-traffic Yahoo group Acadia St. Halifax, NS B3K 3P2 the family. 328-4868 email: richardb@ ics such as stereotypes/assumptions and providing events and information for queer dans la langue française. email: unsurdix@ nbnet.nb.ca transsexuality, and raise awareness in the Narcotics Anonymous: a fellowship of re- umoncton.ca web: www.umoncton.ca/un- women in the Halifax area. email: hal-gal@ surrounding community by participating yahoogroups.com web: groups.yahoo.com/ covering drug addicts who meet regularly to surdix/ (Visitez le site Web ou envoyez un Newfoundland & in functions such as the Highland Games help each other stay clean. 1-800-205-8402 courriel pour en apprendre davantage au group/hal-gal/ (Join the list to keep in touch Lab (709) Parade and the Farmers' Market. While our or post your events.) web: centralnovaarea.ca at Call the phone sujet du travail que nous accomplissons. ) group is youth-focused everyone is regard- number or visit the web page for meeting Frontrunners Newfoundland and Labrador: less of age, and gender identity or sexual Halifax Sexual Health Centre: Annonymous times and places. Petit-Rocher Running/walking club. 722-5791 or 753- orientation! Find our group on Facebook HIV testing, open and inclusive sexual health Project E: Presentation for youth, on gender (Bathurst area) 9529 email: tonybrathwaite@bellaliant. "Rainbow Warriors - AAHA!". email: an- clinical services, education and workshops. expression, myth busters, proper terminol- net,[email protected] (meeting [email protected], meets 455-9656 web: www.HalifaxSexualHealth.ca ogy and other facts. web: www.freewebs. Gais.es Nor Gays Inc. (GNG): A bilingual times can be flexible to accommodate new every Monday (3:00-5:00pm) at The Antigo- Imperial and Sovereign Court of Atlantic com/xprojecte/ at available via web page volunteer association serving gay men, runners.) nish Women's Resource Centre, located in Nova Society: Fundraising. 902-449-7612 lesbians and bisexuals of northern New Wayves Magazine: Atlantic Canada's the Kirk Building at 219 Main Street, Suite web: www.imperialcourtns.com, meets Brunswick. email: [email protected] web: St. John's 204 (above Tim Hortons). 1st Sunday, and 2nd Sunday (Executive queer news and lifestyle magazine!. email: www.gngnb.ca (Dances are held at GNG [email protected] web: wayves.ca X-Pride: social & support group at X. 867- Meetings Are Currently Held Every Second club every Saturday night. See www.gngnb. AIDS Committee of Newfoundland & Lab- Sunday) at Meeting Locations Vary (Deadline: the first Friday of every month; ca for a list of upcoming events.) at 702 rador: HIV/AIDS education and support for 5007 web: www.stfx.ca/people/xpride Editorial meeting: the Monday following that; rue Principale, Petit-Rocher NB. Look for male/female/transgendered, all ages, New- Koinonia Ecumenical Church: Meaning layout the Sunday following that. Email us to rainbow flag and/or door with pink triangle foundland and Labrador 579-8656 email: Bridgewater ‘community’. Call or email Pastor Elaine be put on our notification list!) at rear of parking lot. [email protected] web: www.acnl.net for more information. 876-8771 email: Sexual Health Centre for Lunenburg County: [email protected] (bi-weekly at New Brunswick Gay Urban Youth Zone Project: designed Confidential info, education&support for eve- 12:30pm) at Halifax Feast, Maritime Centre Sackville NB/ to increase HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis C, and STI ryone. Safer sex supplies, library, pamphlets, Manna For Health: A special needs referral (506) knowledge and awareness 579-8656 (ext. workshops. 527-2868 email: LunCo@NS- Amherst NS 28) web: www.acnl.net at Tommy Sexton food bank for those living with life threatening SexualHealth.ca web: www.theSHaC.org illness. 429-7670 Fredericton Catalyst: Catalyst, Mount Allison's Queer- Centre 47 Janeway Place Pleasantville, (Hours vary. Open by appointment or by Straight Alliance, provides support & in- across from the old Janeway Hospital AIDS Mount Pride: GLBTQ group at Mount Saint AIDS New Brunswick / SIDA Nouveau- chance. Please call ahead. ) at 4 Hillcrest formation for all Mt. A students, staff, and Committee of Newfoundland and Labrador Street Unit 8, Bridgewater. (On the corner Vincent University. email: mountpride@ Brunswick: committed to facilitating com- faculty through meetings, seminars, and mountstudents.ca, meets 1st Tuesday, and munity-based responses to the issues of LBGT-MUN Resource Centre: LBGT-MUN is of Dufferin and Hillcrest Streets). Closed social events. Everyone is welcome. email: an information/resource, service, and peer during summers. 3rd Tuesday (bi-weekly on Tuesdays at 12 HIV/AIDS. Needle exchange located in [email protected] web: www.mta.ca/clubs/ noon) at The Diversity Center in Roseria on office at 65 Brunswick Street Fred. E3B support centre staffed by trained volunteers!. South Shore Pride Social Club: for 19 & catalyst/ (Catalyst meets approximately 737-7619 email: [email protected] (Open campus, and online (see email) Possible 1G5. 459-7518 email: jennifer@aidsnb. every week from Sept-Dec and Jan-April. older. 530-5986 email: info@southshore- events that are being planned for the winter com web: www.aidsnb.com (Office Hours: Monday-Friday 9-4. Biweekly meetings for pride.ca web: www.southshorepride.ca, For meeting info contact the president at members and volunteers. ) at Smallwood/ semester include sexuality awareness week, Monday to Friday, 8:30AM to 12:30PM and [email protected] or the Students' Adminis- meets 3rd Saturday (-- dances -- 9:00PM to movies nights, potlucks, guest speakers, and 1:30PM to 4:30PM) University Center, UC-6022. Building located 1:00AM) at Call or email for location. trative Council at [email protected].) on Prince Phillip Drive. Call us! Get involved! many more. There are always spontaneous Fredericton Lesbians and Gays: Email meals and events that are always fun. This PFLAG: Support and education for GLBT- LBGTQ Youth Group: A monthly gathering listserv of events/news in the Fredericton for T2IQQ persons, friends & family. 506-536- Halifax group is open to anyone who would like gblt men and women. email: [email protected] for queer, allied, questioning, and any inter- to join. 4245 email: [email protected], meets 2nd ested youth. We offer social events such as Affirm United: GLBT & Friends support, ac- Integrity: Supports and encourages Gays Monday (7:30 to 9:30pm No meeting in July bowling, movie nights, and coffee houses. tion and worshipping community within the Nova Scotia Rainbow Action Project: and Lesbians in their spiritual lives. email: and August.) at Meeting location alternates Contact group coordinator Rob Sinnott at United Church. 461-4528 email: alstew@ NSRAP, the Nova Scotia Rainbow Action [email protected] web: www.fa- monthly between Sackville: United Church the number listed, email, or visit the web eastlink.ca Project: for 15 years the leading advocate for cebook.com/group.php?gid=46207976587, Parlours, 112 Main Street, and Amherst: page for more info. 699-0509 email: lbgtq@ AIDS Coalition of Nova Scotia: non-profit, Nova Scotia's Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and meets 3rd Sunday (4:00pm) at Unitarian Maggie's Place, 12 LaPlanche Street nlsexualhealthcentre.org web: nlsexual- community-based AIDS organization, pro- Transgender Community. Fostering change Fellowship of Fredericton at 874 York Street healthcentre.org vincially mandated. (902)425-4882 email: in our communities through education, out- PFLAG: Support & education on issues of Saint John [email protected] web: www.acns.ns.ca reach, and political action. 444.3206 email: PFLAG Canada: Information or referral to [email protected] web: www.nsrap.ca at TBA sexual orientation & gender identity. (506) Affirming United Church - Centenary - Queen one of our parents. web: www.pflag.ca (For Alcoholics Anonymous: Live & Let Live AA 455-7190 email: [email protected] Square United Church: invites you to wor- support or information on chapter meetings Group for GLBT community. (902) 425- Outlaw: GLBTQ & Allies Law Students As- web: www.geocities.com/Pflagfredericton/, ship!. 506-634-8288 email: cqsunited@ regarding PFLAG Canada contact Gemma 8383/422-4972 email: courage449@yahoo. sociation at Dalhousie Law School. email: meets 4th Tuesday (7-9 pm (except Decem- nb.aibn.com web: www.cqsunited.ca, meets Schlamp-Hickey, Atlantic Director at gem- com, meets every Monday (at 8pm) at St [email protected] web: www.facebook. ber: 2nd Tuesday)) at Unitarian Fellowship every Sunday (10:30am) at 215 Wentworth [email protected] or Diana Deacon, St. Matthews United Church, 1479 Barrington com/group.php?gid=2416842853 (Meetings of Fredericton 874 York St. Fredericton NB St, Saint John, NB John's chapter contact at [email protected]) St, Halifax (Use side door near Maritime vary. Please email for further information E3B 3R8 or check out our Facebook group.) at Dal- Wayves ­— November 2010 — 13 houisie Law School. 6061 University Avenue. Kingston infected or affected by HIV/AIDS. Free con- email address. We hope you continue to Halifax, Nova Scotia. doms!. (902) 567-1766 email: joannerolls@ come celebrate our community together. Prince Edward Valley Gay Men's Coffee House: socials for accb.ns.ca,[email protected] web: PFLAG: Support & education on issues gay men; gay & lesbian dances 19+. 825- email: [email protected] web: Island (902) of sexual orientation & gender identity. www.accb.ns.ca (Free Anonmymous Test- rainbowproudnovascotia.ca (See webpage 3197,363-2055 email: menembracingmen@ ing 1-902-567-1123 Check our Website for AIDS PEI: AIDS PEI creates a supportive 431-8500 email: halifaxns@pflagcanada. yahoo.ca web: faceitwithpride.tripod.com for schedule.) environment for PHA's to all residents of ca, meets 1st Thursday (902-431-8500) at events and updates. ) at 150 Bentinck St, (Coffee every Thursday 7-9pm, Dances on Sydney, N.S. B1P 6H1 RESPECT: Students Making Healthy Deci- PEI. 902-566-2437 email: [email protected] Halifax Youth Project, 2281 Brunswick St the first Saturday of the month, for the excep- sions. 893-6300 email: [email protected] web: www.aidspei.com at 144 Prince Street Play Group for Queer Families: 422-8780 tion of in November. There is two dances Cape Breton University Sexual Diversity at P.O. Box 550, Nova Scotia Agricultural Charlottetown, PE C1A 2R6 (3-5pm) at Board Room (Play Room) at held in October, On the First Saturday and Centre: We provide a welcoming environ- College, Truro, N.S. B2N 5E3 ment for GLBTQ people and their Allies. Gay PEI Mailing List: Electronic mailing list Needham Community Recreation Centre, the Last Saturday of that Month and NO SAAFE (Supporting An Alternative Friendly for all GLBT, questioning and friendly, focus 3372 Devonshire St (north end Halifax, near Dance in November.) at email or call for 902-563-1481 email: [email protected] (M-F 9-4pm. Call or drop by for event listings, Ally Environment): Social/support group at the is on PEI. email: gay-pei-owner@yahoog- intersection of Duffus & Novalea, bus routes locations or special events or themes NS Agricultural College. 893-6300 email: roups.com web: groups.yahoo.com/group/ 7 & 9) Bring a snack for your child(ren). We Training, and Anti-Heterosexism/Homo- phobia Workshops!) at the Students' Union [email protected] (Meetings as requested. gay-pei at All first posts are moderated to will be collecting money from each family Lunenburg Membership changes each academic year.) stop spambots, otherwise, it's an open list. to cover the cost of the room rental, likely Building, Cape Breton University. $2-4 per week. Second Story Women's Centre: We offer a PFLAG: Support & education on issues of GLBT Youth group: Safe Space Drop-Ins. meeting space for women, support counsel- sexual orientation & gender identity. Karen Wolfville 367-3408 or toll free 1 877 380 5776 (E-mail Pride Week: Producers of Atlantic Canada's ling, programs, and referrals. (902)640-3044 us for further details.) at 144 Prince St. largest LGBTQ cultural festival. 431-1194 564-8728 email: sydneyns@pflagcanada. Acadia Pride: Acadia Student Union's LGB- email: [email protected] web: www. ca, meets last Sunday (of the month at T2IQ group. 585-2165 email: acadiapride@ PFLAG Canada - PEI: Providing support, email: [email protected] web: www. secstory.com at Second Story Women's halifaxpride.ca (July 19 - 26, 2009) 7:30pm. No meetings for July and August.) acadiau.ca web: euler.acadiau.ca/~apride/, education and advocacy for GLBT persons, Centre is located at 22 King Street, Post at Family Place Resource Centre 106 their families and friends in PEI. 902-887- prideHealth: prideHealth is a program of meets every Monday (9:00pm(during aca- Office Centre, Lunenburg. Townsend Street, Sydney NS demic year)) at Beverage Forum (old SUB) 3620 email: [email protected] web: www. Capital Health and the IWK Health Centre. pflagcanada.ca, meets 3rd Tuesday at Ferry If you are a member of the pride community Pride Cape Breton Society: Dances and So- Acadia Women's Centre: 585-2140 email: Middleton cial Events. Monthly dances are Adults Only! Road Centre, 24 Ferry Road, Cornwall, PE and need support with any kind of health [email protected] (Acadia SUB or Stratford City Hall check with Mary or Bill care call Anita our Clinical Nursing Special- PFLAG: Information and support for GLBT Check website community events. (902) Second Level Balcony) 539-4627 email: [email protected] Kendrick on this months location by calling ist, number below. She is available free community and their friends and families. 902-887-3620. of charge, offers complete confidentiality, 902-825-0548 email: middletonns@pflag- web: www.pridecapebreton.com (Dances Yarmouth and can also give you support if you are canada.ca web: www.pflagcanada.ca/mid- on the last Saturday of every month. Check experiencing homo or transphobia. pride- dleton.html (Check online for meeting times website for dance and special event dates!) South West Nova Pride: GLBT of any age Charlottetown Health- improving safe access to health and locations- or phone 825-0548) at Southend Community Centre. Maps are are invited,we meet as a social gathering ARC -- Abegweit Rainbow Collective: care. 220.0643 at our website. and peer support group on the 2nd last Serving GLBT Islanders, their friends and Wednesday of each month at 7:00PM in the families. 894-5776 email: [email protected] Quakers: Quakerism emphasizes that we all New Glasgow Beacon United Church parlour 25 Beacon manifest the Divine. 429-2904 web: halifax. Tatamagouche web: www.arcofpei.com, meets 1st Monday Pictou County Women's Centre: Offering St. Yarmouth. We are not church affiliated. quaker.ca, meets every Sunday at Library Tatamagouche Centre: We are an affirm- (6:00pm at 375 University Ave Suite # 2 Individual Support Counselling and Crisis 645-2914 email: [email protected] Charlottetown, PE) at Atlantic School of Theology, Franklyn St. ing centre, welcoming all gay, lesbian, and web: SWNovaPride.com All very welcome. Intervention, Information and Referral, Advocacy and Accompaniment, Programs transgendered people. 1.800.218.2220 Queer Play: A Queer performing arts group and Community Education. 755-4647 email: email: [email protected] web: www. in Halifax NS. email: [email protected] [email protected] tatacentre.ca Safe Harbour Metropolitan Community Pictou County Centre for Sexual Health: Church: A Christian Church with an affirming 695-3366 email: [email protected] Truro ministry to the GBLT community. Everyone Pride of Pictou County: All GBLT in Pictou Central Nova Women's Resource Centre: is welcome!. 453-9249 email: safeharbour@ Resources, programs and services available eastlink.ca web: safeharbourmcc.com, County. web: www.PrideofPictouCounty.ca (see web page for meeting info) for all women identified women. Advocacy meets every Sunday (11 am) at Veith House, and support - with outreach to rural areas. 3115 Veith Street, Halifax New Minas / Also, see our Facebook group. Central Nova Spirituality For Lesbians: We seek to deepen Women's Resource Centre http://cnwrc. our relationship with God, knowing that God Annapolis Valley weebly.com, [email protected] 535 Prince loves us and calls us into life just as he has Valley Youth Project: Sexual Orientation. Street, Truro, NS B2N 1E8 (902) 895-4295. created us. Persons of every or no denomi- Gender Identity. Allies. Youth. email: val- web: cnwrc.weebly.com nation are welcome. 459-2649, meets 2nd [email protected] (6-8:30 most Colchester Sexual Assault Centre: Provides Wednesday (7:30-9PM, phone for meeting Wednesdays through May) at New Minas support and information to anyone (GBLTQ locations) Civic Center, 9209 Commercial St. Ages 25 included) affected by sexual assault and Team Halifax: All GLBT over 18, athletes & under. Free bus tickets available. Free abuse. 902-897-4366 email: trurosexualas- and performance artists, as well as anyone food. Fun activities. Join us on Facebook [email protected] (Mon-Fri 9:30-4:30) at willing to help out. 422-9510 web: www. at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Valley- 80 Glenwood Drive teamhalifax.com (No fixed schedule at this Youth-Project/22418494995 Northern AIDS Connection Society: HIV time, look on website for further details.) prevention education initiative serving Lay Chaplaincy Services The Masculine Spectrum: is a new support Sackville NB/ counties Colchester, Pictou, Cumberland & Universalist Unitarian Church of Halifax group for all transgender, transsexual, & Amherst NS East Hants. 895-0931 email: nacs@eastlink. 5500 Inglis Street, Halifax, Nova Scotia B3H 1J8 trans men, FtMs, female assigned at birth ca web: northernaidsconnectionsociety.ca genderqueers, two-spirited, intersexed, & PFLAG: Support and education for GLBT- (Our Board of Directors meet bi-monthly [email protected] questioning people 18 years of age or older, T2IQQ persons, friends & family. 506-536- on the third Thursday of the month. Annual 902-429-5500 of all sexual orientations. No significant 4245 email: sacknb-amns@pflagcanada. General Meeting held regularly in June. See others, friends, family, or allies please. ca web: www.pflagcanada.ca/en/prov-list-e. webpage for contact numbers in your area Susan Stephen & Gwen Armshaw Lay Chaplains web: ca.groups.yahoo.com/group, meets asp?RegionNo=6&ProvAbbr=NB, meets of northern Nova Scotia.) at 33 Pleasant 2nd Sunday at Just Us Cafe, 5896 Spring 2nd monday (Phone or e-mail for meeting Street, Truro, N.S. [email protected] [email protected] Garden Road location and details.) at Sackville:112 Main Street or Amherst: 12 La Planche Street Rainbow Proud: Rainbow Proud sup- The Youth Project: Support, education and ports the LGBT** community of Truro and social activities for youth 25 and under surrounding areas. Our small group of weddings memorials child dedications other rites of passage across Nova Scotia. Weekly events, plus Sydney volunteers work hard to put events together a youth food bank and STI testing on site. AIDS Coalition of Cape Breton: Support, for everyones enjoyment. Any feedback 429-5429 email: youthproject@youthproject. advocacy, prevention/education for those will be considered and can be sent to our ns.ca web: www.youthproject.ns.ca, meets prideHealth and a safe door to primary health 1st Tuesday, and 3rd Tuesday (6-9pm ) at 2281 Brunswick Street. 25 and under. Anita Keeping is a clinical nurse specialist, a caring and compassionate health Please refer to our website for details and care provider – and most importantly a safe point of care for members of the schedule of upcoming events. LGB Youth gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and intersex communities. Project Social Drop-in Nights. This is an unstructured event. It’s a chance to hang Anita can provide assessment, treatment and referrals to GLBTI-friendly out with old friends, make some new ones, health professionals. And she’ll meet with you at a safe community location. and just talk about whatever, To learn more, or to set up an appointment with Anita, please call 220.0643 or Trans Family Nova Scotia: We are the Par- e-mail: [email protected] ents, Partners, Family, Friends & Allies of Trans-Identified Individuals. supporting one another. 902-431-8500 email: transfamily@ eastlink.ca, meets 3rd Monday (6:30 to 8:30 pm) at The Youth Project (2281 Brunswick St., Halifax) Universalist Unitarian Church: an inclusive liberal religious community 429-5500 email: [email protected] web: UUCH.ca , meets every Sunday (10:30; see website for special events) at 5500 Inglis St Kentville Red Door: Youth Health & Support Centre. Information and services for sexual health. Ages 13 - 30. 679-1411 web: thereddoor.  ca (Monday to Friday 2pm to 6pm) at 150  Park Street   14 — November 2010 — Wayves The Last Word Masculine: A Meditation

and experiences. We create the mas- who inhabited the realm of the rural. appears I am not as highly evolved as nobody sees.” culine for ourselves and for society Anything else was less than manly, I like to think. I still have a lot to learn. A friend once said, “When you’re and we make adjustments as we go less than acceptable. Growing up I’m told I don’t “look gay” or gay it totally subverts the patriarchy.” I along—fine-tuning, adjusting, some- disinterested in my father’s decidedly “sound gay.” I have a deep voice. A think it goes further than that. Strong, times scrapping the whole thing and working-class world meant I was des- beard. Hair on my chest. A stocky confident gay men, no matter their starting over from scratch. It can be tined for something else, something build. I inherited my working-class manner, completely turn the patriar- By Randall Perry enormously frustrating, finding con- for which I suffered taunts and jeers heritage as a genetic stamp, a chance chy on its head. We render its argu- Pink is for boys, blue is for girls. text for our expression. It can also be of other, more boyish boys. I was mix of Irish and French genes. But ments moot. The myriad archetypes Incorrect, you say? Only since post- a source of immense reward. As gay told to be a man and stop acting like a XY in itself is not masculinity—no are ours to combine as dramatically World War II time has pink been men we have all kinds of freedom, girl. What kind of a boy writes stories more or less than a stereotypical or stoically as we dare. the colour with strong associations whether we accept it or not, to write and bakes cakes and is uninterested perception of tendencies toward the As I approach early middle age to femininity. Pink as a shade of our own wish lists and define for our- in hunting and chopping wood? How over-dramatic is the sole indicator of I continue my task of reinvention red, a regal and powerful colour, is selves what it means to be masculine can an imaginative, sensitive man sexual orientation. of attitude. Physically I’m finally historically manly. Blue is daintier, in a society where gender roles remain survive in a world that considers him I was a fey child, sensitive and comfortable in my own skin. I will more calming, soothing and nurturing stubbornly fixed yet gender expres- beneath contempt? creative, given to imagination and never fulfill society’s expectations of (in Catholic cultures evocative of the sion is increasingly fluid. When I was in school, a boy emotion. The core of my being is still me because I was never compatible Virgin Mary), an association better I’ve not always thought like this. wouldn’t be caught dead wearing shot through with those remnants, all with them from day one. Mine is the reserved for girls. For a long time I thought that mas- pink. It would have been social these years later. Boys are not sup- realm of the pen and the word. I’ll How perceptions change. culinity meant emulating what I suicide. Now pink is being reclaimed, posed to cry, so say the arbiters of leave the working of the land to a The older I get the more I realize experienced as a child growing up worn as a challenge to arbitrary so- what is strong and manly. I still wear hardier bunch. In the early hours of that masculinity is not so much an in a small village in north western cietal norms. Truth be told, I have a my heart on my sleeve and when I the morning, we will still make love innate characteristic as it is something Prince Edward Island. To me it was difficult time wearing pink. I don’t feel like an outsider and nobody cares with each other, no matter what we we as male individuals paint from the clear: the masculine was embodied think it looks good on me and I still the child I once was tugs at my sleeve inherit. palette of our memories, perceptions in the rugged fishermen and farmers feel the burn of judgemental eyes. It and says, “Go ahead. I’ll make sure [email protected] What If Others See You Doing It Online? by Bill McKinnon dormitory rooms. Well, it seems an dicament of a young man being outed privacy and is a crime, but the dam- idea to check that there is no webcam Unless you want to be a porn star, you eighteen-year-old Rutgers student, before the world, and, in his loneli- age has been done—a young man has in the room, and if you do elect to would probably prefer the particulars Tyler Clementi, naturally enough did ness, shock and the overwhelming needlessly died and his family is left allow someone else to film whatever of your sexual liaisons to remain pri- not want his sexual encounter with embarrassment he must have felt, he with horrific grief. The perpetrators, you may be doing, you are looking vate and not available for the world another guy made public; so when could not find a better solution. The if found guilty (in New Jersey), may for trouble. to see, because it is your affair and two classmates secretly recorded the details of Tyler’s outing are maybe not serve up to five years in prison, but If you are a young man or woman, that of your partner and not anyone event with a webcam and streamed Tyler’s life has been permanently you may well face a situation where else’s business. it online, Tyler killed himself by … the damage has been extinguished. It is also possible that someone spreads the word around Pierre Elliot Trudeau said once jumping off the George Washington this hurtful and insensitive prank that you are gay or lesbian, not that the state has no business in the Bridge on September 22. done—a young man by the two apparently heterosexual necessarily by putting up a video bedrooms of the nation. I believe he We cannot know how Tyler’s and homophobic classmates was on the internet. Naturally, you are would also have agreed that secret we- emotions and thinking led him to has needlessly died … a hate crime, for they not only upset, embarrassed, lonely and don’t bcams have no business in students’ suicide but he faced the awful pre- uploaded the video, they also told know where to turn for help. There common but many other young men their friends where to find it. is however help available. One good have also killed themselves when it What can we learn from this source for young people is the Youth was made known that they were gay unfortunate incident? I guess we can Project… call (902) 429-5429 or and it seemed there was no one to be careful we are not photographed check out www.youthproject.ns.ca. turn to for help. by anyone with a webcam or even a YouTube is another instant source The Clementi tragedy occurred cell phone, for cell phones can readily for troubled LGBT youth. The “It in New Jersey but it could just as shoot videos. There is probably little Gets Better” is a good place to start: easily have happened in Halifax or or no sexual activity at the Dartmouth www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbet- anywhere in Atlantic Canada, and Sportsplex, yet using or even having a terproject. it could happen to you, to me or to cell phone out in the open is banned Tyler’s family was of course dev- anyone. Webcams and video cameras in dressing rooms. astated by the loss of a son they are common and inexpensive today, Having sex in a public place is dearly loved. On Friday, September and it’s relatively easy to upload a both illegal and not a good idea, and 30, students at Rutgers wore black video of a person, doing whatever even a relatively private place, such to remember Tyler Clementi and on with whomever, to the Internet and as a room at a sauna, might allow Saturday the football team observed make the video available for viewing someone to make a video of you a moment of silence. Perhaps the rest all over the world. with a cell phone. If you become of us may also wish to remember his Such an activity is an invasion of involved with someone in his or her death and to pray that this needless house or apartment, it is also a good tragedy does not happen again. Letter Dear Wayves: my case I was able to locate them and I would like to respond to the article I had a wonderful, positive experience “The Pregnant Lesbian” by Valerie and have met a beautiful, extended Windsor in the October issue. family that I enjoy daily. Being both a parent and an adop- It is difficult for me to put in tee perhaps brings an interesting per- words my inner feelings when I see spective on this issue. I grew up in a ads from a couple that “just want home where being adopted was never sperm.” Think about it! There are mentioned. It wasn’t until I was in my men who want the opportunity to be Where is You Tell Us? early teens that I overheard a remark a loving father. They want more than You may have noticed that the You that caused me to really think about to just be a donor. They want to be Tell Us box on the third-last page the fact that I could be adopted. I had involved in the child’s life. Allow them of the magazine has been missing heard little “community rumours” that opportunity, please. for the last few months. but had no actual proof. My parental I was fortunate to have two moth- We've retired the column. We mother supplied me with my birth ers and fathers. That is truly a bless- had a lot of fun with it, our readers certificate just prior to my leaving ing. I am sure that if I had not known learned a little about each other, but home and entering the work force. a father that I would have questions its time has come and gone. It further supported the idea that I and be curious. Don’t rob your child If you're interested in doing an could be adopted. Thus began the of the opportunity of knowing the interactive column with the Wayves desire/curiosity to find out as much person behind the sperm. readers — write us a note! We're as I could about my birth parents. In Bernie Nickerson always open to new ideas. Wayves ­— November 2010 — 15 16 — November 2010 — Wayves

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