Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar
The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper
Winter 1-11-2008
Volume 43 - Issue 13 - Friday, January 11, 2008
Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]
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Recommended Citation Rose Thorn Staff, "Volume 43 - Issue 13 - Friday, January 11, 2008" (2008). The Rose Thorn Archive. 169. https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn/169
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This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Newspaper at Rose-Hulman Scholar. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Rose Thorn Archive by an authorized administrator of Rose-Hulman Scholar. For more information, please contact [email protected]. T HE R OSE T HORN R OSE -H ULMAN I NSTITUTE OF T ECHNOLOGY T ERRE H AUTE , I NDIANA FRIDAY, JANUARY 11, 2008 ROSE-HULMAN.EDU/THORN/ VOLUME 43, ISSUE 13
students return to Rose with tales of relaxation, adventure News Briefs By Kyle Kamischke The mother of all Back from Break lawsuits A survivor of Hurricane Katrina has filed a lawsuit against the federal government seeking a sum of $3 quadrillion for the victims’ suffering. The actual number is $3,014,170,389,176,410. To put the num- ber in perspective, the total gross domes- tic product for the United States was $13.2 trillion in 2007. Additionally, a stack of one quadrillion pennies would reach Saturn. The high number is seen as a tactic for ne- gotiating for a higher payout. The govern- ment has also received 247 other claims that each request over $1 billion each. Andrew Carlson / Rose Thorn Right now, federal courts are in charge of determining whether each claim is legiti- From left to right: Peter Richards, Nathan Elder, Beau Inskeep, Mike Fuson, and Tim Potmesil share their adventures and misadven- mate and whether any monetary compen- tures from this past Winter Break. Unlike schools on a semester system, Rose’s Winter Break falls in the middle of Winter quarter. sation is necessary. Scott Gallmeier spent his break in a way com- hockey games for his home of things to do in relation to Staff Writer mon to quite a few. According team, the Predators; enjoy- the event. He also was over- FBI fails to pay bills to Tim, his break was noth- able time with the family; joyed to see his favorite col- even days into the New ing out of the ordinary. He some busy days of shopping, lege football team supported on time Year, students returned spent time and got together and catching up on his sleep, so well, “…someone would Telephone companies are beginning Sto classes for the last six with friends from high school, averaging about ten hours a yell I-L-L and we would re- to pull wiretaps that the FBI has used to weeks of Winter Quarter. Most played video games, and gen- day of sleep. Mike sentiment’s spond with I-N-I. The streets monitor suspected criminals. This is due students departed on De- erally relaxed by sleeping and about break seemed to hint at were filled with orange, it to the bureau’s failure to pay its bills for cember 21, 2007 and the fol- procrastinating on home- a rather busy and enjoyable was really cool.” He also got the wiretaps on time. An audit performed lowing days. The goal of this work. One of the highlights break that left him “surprised a chance to see the Tourna- by the Justice Department found that two-week getaway was that of of his break was “doing both about how much [he] did.” ment of Roses Parade in per- wiretaps were being disconnected due to rest, relaxation, and general [sleeping and procrastinating Freshman chemical en- son which he felt was “amaz- poor oversight of money used in under- enjoyment. In the search of on homework] at the same gineering student, Nathan ing.” Even with Illinois’s loss, cover investigations. This bad bookkeep- this, many students had many time.” Elder’s break was more than he cited his joy with an an- ing even allowed one agent to steal more different ideas of what a break Another partaker of the mid- exciting with his visit to Pasa- ecdote of his friends, family, than $25,000. More than half of the 990 should consist of, varying quarter freedom was Mike Fu- dena, California for the 92nd and him running into some bills related to the eavesdropping were from the simple ideas of video son, sophomore electrical en- annual Rose Bowl. Nathan USC fans who ridiculed Illi- not paid on time. One FBI field office even games and sleep to foreign ex- gineering major. Mike’s winter said that he had an incred- nois’s loss but as he said “we had unpaid bills totaling $66,000. An im- peditions. break was wide and varied in ible time with his friends didn’t really care.” proved FBI funding system will most likely Tim Potmesil, a freshman composition. His itinerary in- and family that went. He was result from this audit. chemical engineering major, cluded going to see a few NHL overwhelmed by the number Continued on Page 3... YouTube Halo Wacky weather weirds out Rose sniper’s account Rachel Howser “I love it and wish it would hap- “The weather in Terre Staff Writer pen more often. I’m tired of my Haute has just been hacked hair freezing, not being able to drab. This wet, rainy Colin Fogle became famous on YouTube anuary has hosted unseasonably warm weather with high wear flip-flops outside everyday, weather is just depress- for showing that it’s possible to shoot and temperatures reaching the low-60s in Terre Haute. This shivering all the time, ice on my ing. On New Years, I kill himself with his own sniper rifle in week, cities all over the nation have set record highs that windshield, and the gloom that was in Michigan, and J cold, dark weather brings. Sixty it snowed all day, and it Halo 3. This feat impressed the game’s shatter their historically high temperatures for early January. makers so much that they gave him a spe- Although many people are enjoying the spring-like weather, it degrees means I can enjoy the was beautiful.” cial piece of Recon armor that he can use is causing problems across the nation. The Midwest has been outdoors and have more energy —Sami Dick, in the game. Since then, he has had his plagued with thunderstorms, tornados, floods, and blackouts and motivation. It’s easier to be senior Xbox Live account hijacked three times. over the past week. Students at Rose-Hulman have mixed happy!” biomedical The most recent account theft is still un- feelings about the unusual temperatures. While some are en- —Megan Lu, sophomore engineer resolved, and the thief openly brags about joying the spring-like temperatures, others are disappointed chemical engineer his prize on Internet forums. Fogle is very by the lack of winter weather. disappointed with Microsoft’s lax secu- rity, since his account contains credit card “I enjoy warmer “I’m disappointed. I ex- “I don’t mind the warm weather “I enjoy the warm weather, information as well as his home address. weather. I wish it pected more snow, coming because I’m definitely not used to unless it’s humid.” The company has made some changes to would stay like this.” from Florida.” the cold! And scraping ice off of —John Christie, prevent this from happening in the future, —Andrew —Colin DeClue, my car got old quickly.” freshman optical but Fogle believes they will never do any- Hubble, freshman —Sam Capone, engineer thing unless it becomes a huge public re- freshman computer freshman applied lations issue for them. mechanical engineer biology major engineer In this issue of the Rose Thorn... “Who put this Athlete of the week... Zeppelin album banana in my
NEWS OPINIONS Brett Favre
reviews mouth?” F
3 INVISIBLE 6 FBI $ LIPSIDE FBI no pay Minster’s BitTorrent Invisibility and battery life 8
E4NTERTAINMENT 7SPORTS 8 PAGE -
NEWS - PAGE 3 ENTERTAINMENT - PAGE 4 LIVING - PAGE 5 OPINIONS - PAGE 6 SPORTS - PAGE 7 FLIPSIDE 2 PUZZLES & CLASSIFIEDS The Rose Thorn The Magic Name-that- by J.P. Number artist Verkamp • Born on the island of Jamaica in 1945, this week’s artist is most by Jim Sedoff likely the best known reggae artist ever. One of his posthu- mous albums has sold 12 million copies worldwide since its re- lease, earning the title of best-selling reggae album. During his Instructions: relatively short lifetime, this artist released 16 studio albums Using addition (+), subtraction (-), multiplication (x), and di- (one posthumously), four live albums, and ten compilations (only one released before his death). vision (/), solve each puzzle by using all the given numbers only once to equal the Magic Number. (Hint: it’s the num- • Throughout the years, this artist has collected a number of awards and other forms of recognition from around the world. ber in the box!) Order of operations matter. In 1976, Rolling Stone magazine named his band the Band of the Year and in 2004 he placed number 11 in the magazine’s 100 Greatest Artists of All Time. In 1978, he received the Peace Medal of the Third World from the United Nations and in 1981 Puzzle 1 he was recognized with Jamaica’s third highest honor, the Ja- The numbers are already in the correct order. Just insert maican Order of Merit. Finally, in 1994, this artist was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and in 2001, he received a the operators in the blanks provided. star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
• In addition to being a musician, this artist was also well known as a proponent and prophet of the Rastafarian move- 57 ___ 70 ___ 80 ___ 16 ___ 66 = 6013 ment, bringing their music out of areas of Jamaica prone to social deprivation and into the world scene. This artist is also well known for his adoption of the Rastafarian-style dreadlocks and use of cannabis as a sacred sacrament.
• In 1977, this artist was diagnosed with cancer in his toe (due Puzzle 2 in large part to a soccer injury); however, due to the Rastafarian Now, it gets trickier. The numbers are now out of order. Re- belief that the body must remain whole, he declined amputa- arrange the numbers and insert the correct operators tion. He continued performing and recording until his death in 1981 at the age of 36. Find the answers to all Rose 40 100 61 38 7 = 1566 Thorn puzzles at: http://www.rose-hulman.edu ______/thorn CLASSIFIEDS Sharp Flats Sharp Flats Apartment for rent Thinking about living off-campus for the ‘08-’09 school Need a place to live right now? Check out Sharp Flats Large, furnished three bedroom apartment available year? Visit www.sharpflats.com or call (812)-877-1146. East. Just a five minute walk to campus. We have studios, beginning Fall quarter. Nine month lease. $675 in- Sharp Flats East located next to Rose-Hulman campus. efficiencies and one bedrooms. Some units are furnished cludes utilities. Contact Dr. Ditteon (CL104, Box 171, Sharp Flats in town located on or near South 6th Street. and some include all utilities. Check us out www.sharp- ext. 8247 or 299-5182) for more information. flats.com or call us at (812) 877-1146.
Gibson Apartments House for rent House for rent 3 bedrooms extra clean with kitchen appliance, North 1 - 2 -3 -4 bedroom apts. $390 and up some include all utili- 3 bd., spacious, quiet for study, EXTRA NICE! 10th St., updated basement, hardwood and carpet floors, ties but lights. NO pets. Gibson Apts 234-4884. Call 232-6977 after 11 am. Please leave ph #. fenced yard, car garage, no pets, $795+ utility, email Dr. Hariri or call 317-873-5923. Please leave ph#. The Rose Thorn Editorial Staff Thorn Staff CM 5037, 5500 Wabash Ave. Staff Writers David Bander John Pinkus Editor-in-Chief Aaron Meles Terre Haute, IN 47803-3999 News Editor Ryan Schultz Tim Boyer Christine Price Phone:(812)877-8255 Opinions Editor Andrew Klusman Ben Collins Jessica Rogers Entertainment Editor Phillip Meiser Fax: (812)877-8166 Scott Gallmeier Jim Sedoff Sports Editor Mike Ferguson E-mail: [email protected] Kyle Kamischke Ely Spears Humor Editor Alex Clerc http://www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn Rachel Howser J.P. Verkamp Copy Editor Chris Casillas Matt Melton James Zhou Photo Editor Andrew Carlson “Working to keep the Rose-Hulman community informed Tim Olmsted by providing an accurate and Tiffany Parrott dependable source for news and information.” Layout Cari Harper Administrative Staff Advertising Manager Parker Lee The Rose Thorn is published on Fridays Cartoonist Erin Hudson Assistant Ad Manager Nick Leedy first through ninth week each quarter. Business Manager Alex Cerier Photographers Christina Davis Isaac Sachs Webmaster Jonathan Ziebell Suzanne Kissel Matt Vargo Advisor Richard House Albert Mui The Rose Thorn welcomes and encourages comments from its readers. We request that all letters to the editor be less than 600 words in length. THE DEADLINE FOR CONTENT SUBMISSION IS 5 P.M. TWO DAYS PRIOR TO PUBLICATION All content should be submitted to [email protected] or to the Rose Thorn Office (Hulman Memorial Union room 249). The editors reserve the right to edit submissions for clarity, grammar, length, and factual errors. The editors reserve the right to accept content changes submitted after deadline. All letters must contain the writer’s signature (electronic form is acceptable) and contact information (e-mail address and/or phone number). The views expressed in the Rose Thorn are those of the original author and do not necessarily represent the views of the Rose Thorn staff or Rose-Hulman community. Friday, January 11, 2008 NEWS 3 Break, from Page 1 Stanford research could increase bat- Rest and relaxation was key to be part of the plans for some of tery life for iPods, laptops by 10 times a third break with Beau Inskeep, Rose’s students with sophomore junior biomedical engineer. Beau mechanical engineer Peter Rich- Joanna Xu of Materials Sciences and Engi- today may last up to 20 hours if enjoyed his break by simply en- ards being a keen example of this. T h e S t a n f o r d D a i l y neering Prof. Yi Cui could signif- the new battery research is ap- joying the company of family and Peter traveled to Wales over break icantly elongate battery life. plied. friends. He found time to hang to attend and celebrate his cous- attery life is one of the only Cui has been studying the use Cui’s research has implications out with old friends from high in’s wedding. Spending a good limitations of widespread of silicon nanowires to increase for everyday appliances such as school, while also spending the chunk of his week-long trip sight- Belectronic use. However, battery capacity, perhaps by as iPods, laptops, cell phones, elec- Christmas holiday with family. seeing, Peter said that he “had a it may no longer be a concern much as 10 times. He explained tric automobiles and even medi- Movies also assisted in Beau’s re- lot of fun seeing everything.” On in the near future: the research that a laptop that lasts two hours cal devices such as pacemakers. laxation period, watching a few this trip, he was also able to par- DVD’s as the chance came. But, take in the age-old British holi- according to Beau though, his day of Boxing Day, during which break was “nothing exciting.” he and his family went to watch a Foreign travel also proved to rugby game. Duke study: ‘sound
cloak’ for invisibility Extra Large 1234 WABASH AVE. One Large One-Topping Store Hours... One-Topping Mon-Wed: 9am - 1am within reach Thurs-Sat: 9am - 2am Sunday: 12pm - 12am Joe Clark 99 99 cal and computer engineering at Campus Only
ONLY Campus Only The Chronicle North Carolina State University, 9 232-PAPA 7 and a co-author of the study. uke scientists have ac- “A specific paper by [Graeme] complished what was Milton stated that doing this Dpreviously thought to be would require some mathemati- impossible. cal constraints that were far too Researchers announced today restrictive to make it useful,” that they had found that, in the- Schurig said. “What he didn’t ory, a cloak that would make an realize, however, that even with Our future. object appear invisible to sound the constraints, it would still be waves can exist. possible to make something that “This could be very useful for would be incredibly beneficial to It’s built around you. hiding submarines from sonar science.” waves so that it would make Although others were skep- Toyota is a global leader that thrives on innovation. Team members’ ideas them invisible to radar,” said tical about the acoustic cloak, are the wellspring of continuous improvement. We’ve designed exceptional Steven Cummer, Jeffrey N. Vinik Cummer said he originally set programs to give college and university talent the opportunity to become an associate professor of electrical out to make a cloak that did not informed addition to our Toyota team. Here’s an excellent chance to partici- and computer engineering in work perfectly but did work well pate in work that will have an impact on society today, tomorrow and for the Pratt School of Engineering enough to have some practical years to come. This is the future Toyota’s building around you. and co-author of the study to be application.”The conclusion published in the Jan. 11 issue of before this was that creating a Toyota College Programs Physical Review Letters. true sound cloak was impos- The sound cloak would be sible, but I thought we could Co-op ■ New College Graduates (Engineer) similar to an invisibility cloak still make something work rea- ■ New College Graduates (Non-Engineer) created by Duke scientists in sonably well,” Cummer said. 2006, Cummer said. “When we continued to chip Align your career with a team that has contributed to creating a globally “It would work in exactly the away from the problem though, valued brand. A team proud to be associated with one of Fortune’s top three same way as the electromagnet- we kept finding solutions that most admired companies in America. A company that has its priorities in the ic cloak,” he said. “Sound waves were perfect.” right place, a great respect for people, and its horizons moving forward. would bend around an object In addition to hiding subma- smoothly so, instead of bouncing rines from sonar, an acoustic Meet Toyota team members on campus. off that object, the waves would cloak could be useful in the fu- For specifi c dates/times, visit: appear as though they were trav- ture for architectural design, eling through space.” Cummer said. Buildings could toyotacollege.jobs Although the team of scien- be created with hidden structur- or text Toyota to 78247 tists have not actually created al elements that would be acous- the acoustic cloak, Cummer said tically transparent, he added. he expects someone to create The creation of an acoustic a prototype of the cloak in the cloak could also mean the po- near future. tential for developing cloaks to Toyota Motor Engineering & Manufacturing “You can bet that there will be shield objects from other types North America, Inc. a lot of people looking to create of waves, Cummer said. In the this,” he said. “It will be harder to future, scientists might be able to create than the invisibility cloak hide objects from seismic waves for light waves, but I would not that are emitted during earth- be surprised if this were done by quakes or even ocean waves. somebody within the next year.” “Applying this type of cloaking There has been some doubt device to acoustic waves, and among other researchers, how- maybe others in the future, is a ever, that developing the acoustic completely new phenomenon,” cloak was possible, said former Schurig said. “This could be in- Duke researcher David Schurig, credibly useful for science and an assistant professor of electri- for the public in the future.”
Is your résumé flaccid? Does it consistently underperform? Does it need a BIG boost? Join The Thorn and make your résumé irresistibly satisfying! Meetings Wednesdays, O-157, 5:15 p.m. Toyota is an Equal Opportunity Employer and supports a diverse and inclusive workforce. 4 ENTERTAINMENT The Rose Thorn Zeppelin crashes on student’s desk, makes loud noise
Ryan Schultz The system features a promi- a whole suffer from the “speaker what you thought were perfectly Zeppelin is a single unit, its stereo News Editor nently mounted iPod dock and, behind a pane of glass” sound good speakers, and with these he separation is lacking. Imagine sit- other than that, only three other that is so common among low- sounds detailed, articulate and ting in the church listening to the The iPod causes a touch of a buttons on the front of the unit end-yet-overpriced audio equip- live. Even “Day In, Day Out’s” oft- brass choirs play – with separable dilemma. It was designed as a – one for power, one for volume ment. These don’t. One of the lost bass solo is clear. stereo speakers, you’re sitting di- portable player, yet among audio- up, and one for volume down. On first songs I ever played through Then, some classic rock and rectly between the two choirs; philes and the general public it the back are ports for composite the Zeppelin was “Autobots” from roll (Aerosmith’s “Dude looks like with the Zeppelin, you’re sitting at has found a place as the primary video, S-video, an auxiliary input, this summer’s blockbuster “Trans- a lady,” “Crazy,” and “Angel,” Bos- the back of the church. music player in the home as well. a USB port, power (of course), formers” (so sue me, I’m a sap for ton’s “Foreplay/Long Time,” and, I’ve gushed about the Zeppelin Now, if you’re fortunate enough and two speaker ports to vent the soundtracks). When the horn because it was near Christmas for as long as you’ve cared to read to own a dedicated rig at home, woofers. The Zeppelin actually solo really kicked into gear I’m and all, Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s (assuming you’ve made it this far) then bravo, all you need is a dock – but don’t think that it’s a perfect and you’re good to go. But what unit or the grail of His Holy Hi-Fi. if, let’s say, you’re a college student No sir. My first beef is with usabil- looking to pump high-quality, big ity. The Zeppelin itself has a built sound out of your little iPod but in iPod dock that allows for easy you don’t have the cash (thank use and is very ergonomic, but, it you Rose-Hulman tuition) to pay also ships with a remote. Unfortu- thousands on a pre-amp, amp, nately, this remote lacks the cru- receiver, and speakers? A number cial “menu” button to return the of manufacturers have rushed in iPod to a previous menu. Thus, if with compact stereos dedicated to you want to change albums, you the iPod which range in price (and need to get up, go over to the iPod, quality) from sub $50 to over $500. and change the album. This has Many are complete crap – but already gotten old. Also, turning some are gems. This week, I am on and off the Zeppelin is an in- reviewing one of those gems – a teresting experience. Not that it true treasure in the prolific sea of New York Times makes any funny sounds, just that “Made for iPod” goodies that have For bonus points, be sure to find songs by Led Zeppelin, Bogus Blimp, and Tracy & the Hindenburg Ground Crew the iPod and the Zeppelin seem been unleashed onto the market: to, at least every other cycle, have The Bowers & Wilkins Zeppelin. consists of five independent voice pretty sure my eyebrows shot off “First Snow”) to which the B&W a miscommunication. It’s not The quirky stereo gets its name coils: a centrally mounted 5 inch my head and stayed up there like responded with articulated fidel- terrible – the iPod doesn’t freeze from its unique shape – its resem- subwoofer, two 3.5 inch midrange some sort of weird cartoon. What ity, rockin’ bass, riffin’ guitars, and and the Zeppelin doesn’t squawk blance to one of the Third Reich’s woofers, and two tweeters. The came out of this little unit was full, painfully loud volume (no joke). in agony – it’s just weird. And, of airships is uncanny. Some critics stereo also ships with a remote rich sound. Not tinny, not lacking Last, some classical, because no course, it is still an iPod stereo – have called it stylish. I’m not sure with on/off, forward/reverse, color, a solid “wall of sound” that great speaker system is truly great not a dedicated, componentized, that I would go that far. I have play/pause, volume up/down, musicians are always striving to until it can faithfully reproduce hi-fi rig. Just keep that in mind. trouble thinking of any interior and source selection buttons. produce. the works of the masters. So, who The Bowers & Wilkins Zeppe- design into which this particular I’m going to be brutally hon- I continued to put the system better than Gabrieli, the com- lin is the flagship “Made for iPod” enclosure would fit. It certainly is est: at first listen this not-so-little through its paces with a variety of poser of so many brass concerti? stereo on the market today. It has elegant, gorgeous in its simplicity all-in-one (2 feet long and a porky pieces ranging from Bill Watrous’s And here, the system faltered just the power to fill an entire New Res and design based purely on pur- 16 pounds) is damn impressive trombone to Aerosmith’s axe. I a bit. Not in tone quality, volume, apartment with ease and the fi- pose (B&W claims its shape is for (and it’d better be – I’ll let you first tested the system with some detail, or clarity, but in separation. nesse to produce quality sound at perfect acoustics), but golly is it check out the price if you’re really jazz selections (Dave Grusin’s “An Gabrieli was one of the first major all volume levels. And good grief, weird. that interested). iPod speakers as Actor’s Life,” Earl Klugh’s “The composers to master an antipho- with its pedigree and price tag, it Traveler,” Charged Particles “In nal sound, that is, he pioneered should. Peace,” and Bill Watrous’s “Day stereo sound using the design of Album reviews In, Day Out”). Watrous is espe- the cathedrals in which his works Official Thorn rating: 4.5 elephants Ben Collins cially notorious for muddying-up were performed. Because the S t a f f W r i t e r
As a follow-up to the release of “Demon Days”, “D-Sides” is as “G- Get Engineering Experience Sides” was to their debut album; a release of the B-Sides to the singles While You’re A Student and rarities of the Demon Days In the first student submission campaign. The initial expectation from WHMD Radio’s own Michael for this album was pretty high for Schoumacher from The Hour of me because of not only the high Power, I was not suggested any acclaim for their last album but particular album in general but also my personal respect for the when searching for any Drag- Gorillaz as a great genre-bend- onforce album, all I could find ing group. As I popped the first was “Inhuman Rampage” on the CD in and “68 State” started play- shelves. On the initial listen to ing, I knew that this was going to the CD, I was blown away by the be a rocking album. As this is the amazing and seamless orchestra- B-sides, a lot of the style can be tion of the entire band throughout drawn from the main album but the album; it’s awesome music, no these rejected songs have a light- doubt, but a little repetitive. There er feel and explore different and is originality to each song musical- more chipper themes than in the ly and lyrically, but the problem I darker “Demon Days”. The songs had with listening to the album in- are amazing and show off the cre- tently was the recurrence of eight Learn more about ative power and vast potential of minute songs about “the power Rose-Hulman Ventures the Gorillaz. Certain songs left me deep inside” that never broke the a little overwhelmed and did leave formula. I chalk that up more to at the Career Fair me a little soured, “The Swagga” my seldom experience with metal January 23 being the specific case, “Murdoc and maybe I can’t appreciate some is God”, while being a really in- of the subtle differences the band ventive instrumentally, can really employs. Certain songs really did drive at my nerves when coming stand out slightly, like “Operation out of a smaller speaker system. Ground Pound” and, of course, The second CD collects the re- “Through the Fire and Flames”, mixes of the singles and as added but even these are very, if not strik- content is much appreciated. ingly, similar. It’s still really cool While it isn’t the Gorillaz them- music and I do enjoy listening to selves, it is still enjoyable and it it, but more mindlessly than I nor- easily complements with the CD mally would for any kind of album and the previous album, which or, specifically, any genre of music. unlike their debut, did not in- This is definitely a great metal al- clude any remixes. No complaints bum and in some ways it is superb and several of the remixes, while beyond that, but it does have its not being club dance worthy, help drawbacks. Not for the casual lis- showcase the effects the Gorillaz tener but if you are a metal head or have had on music. Overall, a re- generally into more wail and thrash www.rhventures.org/students.htm ally great album. rock, this is definitely for you. Official Thorn rating: 4.5 elephants Official Thorn rating: 2.5 elephants Real Projects. Outstanding Students. Innovative Solutions. Friday, January 11, 2008 LIVING 5 Planning ahead allevi- How to... ates teamwork woes Christopher Smith discuss what they will do when Rose-Hulman problems occur. Knowing how David Bander Staff Counselor everyone should handle the situ- Staff Writer ation before it happens allows for Before the end of last quarter I the group to maintain some focus 1. Don’t sleep until 3 p.m. discussed some of the difficulties on the project. Team members on the weekends or on Wednesdays. The ‘experts’ recommend getting up the same time every day that may arise when individuals can simply refer to the previously even if you don’t have to, but since I doubt many people can (and want to) wake up at 7:30 a.m. on work in teams. I mentioned some decided on ground rules and use Saturday, make it reasonable. Get up before 10 a.m. even if you sit in your room in your pajamas important ways of dealing with them to help ease the difficulties. watching TV. conflict among team members. Some important ground rules and Teamwork is one time when the decisions to make prior to starting 2. Don’t nap more than half hour every day. adage “the best defense is a good the group are: Will there be a team While it is great in the moment, it will throw off your sleep cycle and you won’t get as thorough of offense” is important and practical leader and if so who will that per- a rest. advice. Before beginning work on son be? the project, it is beneficial for team It may also be important to fo- 3. Don’t use your bed as your desk. members to plan ahead for pos- cus on how decisions will be made: If you train your body that your bed is for sleeping, it will be easier to get to sleep. By the same to- sible problems that may arise. Will the leader make the final deci- ken, if you toss and turn all night, get up and do something else. You don’t want to train your body Teams function very much on sion or will the team want to come to be awake in bed. the principles of group dynamics, to a consensus? There should also and groups tend to operate in a be discussion about how diffi- 4. Mind eating and drinking habits before bed. somewhat predictable way. Know- culties will be handled: Who will Boozing late night will make you pass out quickly, however, the quality of the sleep you will get is ing how groups tend to operate address the problem or the diffi- sharply diminished. Caffeine can affect you up to eight hours later, and if you are sensitive to it, that can help you prepare for what may culty among members? Members Coke with dinner will keep you jittery later. arise in your team. If team mem- should also discuss how outside bers have never worked with one help will be sought, if at all. 5. If you have trouble focusing, read a book another before, meetings at first There are many ways to plan for or do a Sudoku before bed. This will help you clear your mind of other things and relax you. will be very friendly and formal. Af- conflict and to work to avoid it and ter some time, members will begin these are only a few. In addition 6. Get help if you continue to have trouble to assign roles to themselves and to keeping these things in mind, I sleeping or have a poor quality of sleep. Rose’s counselors and doctor can help you with emotional others. During this time, members would also recommend going to or possibly physical problems preventing a good night’s rest. may vie for control of the group individuals you trust and respect, and want to establish themselves such as professors, friends, or oth- as leader. This can be a difficult er teams and see how they manage time for group members and there conflict in their team work. Every- may be significant conflict at this one approaches things differently time, and planning for this time and it is important to get other can be very helpful in keeping the ideas so that you can decide what team on track. Following this pe- fits for you and your team. And re- riod of upheaval, if the team is able member to have fun — team work to navigate the problems, there can be a very enjoyable experience can be a period of increased out- if approached with the correct put and cohesiveness. Achieving mind set. this requires teams to maintain maturity during the difficult times This information is not intended to and to not resort to treating one diagnose, treat, or prevent any dis- another negatively. ease or disorder. Nor is it intended Prior to beginning work on the to replace a consultation with a project, team members should mental health provider. Reuse and recycle Christine Price unfold your futon, or, gasp! use Staff Writer one of them. The floor can hold a cup of tea, but there’s always One easy way to lose lots of the horrible possibility of some- money is to decide you need an body kicking over a delicious item and buy it immediately. brew. Then, the unexpected You miss out on potential sales, happened! can lose money by not com- A friend of a friend had picked parison shopping, and if you up some free cardboard and don’t look at what’s out there, wood spools that are created to you may be dissatisfied with hold wire. I thought they were the item you buy. But shopping snazzy, and he said that if he can be a hassle; who wants to go couldn’t find a use for them, he from store to would give store looking them to me. for, let’s say, a A friend may be He didn’t find little table for a use, and next to your getting rid of I acquired couch? You what you need, or them. Some have to spend wood glue, time finding you may find the red spray stores, time paint, and going to the parts to make one some time store to find “yourself. later I had tables, time a nice two- setting it up, spool table, and of course with a big you have to spend money. enough top to hold whatever, Want to save all that time shop- and a middle shelf to hold the ping and a big chunk of change over flow. at the same time? Recycle! A There are all kinds of ways you friend may be getting rid of can” reuse things. Turn a shoe- what you need, or you may find box, some tinfoil, a pair of scis- the parts to make one yourself. sors and some duck tape into a It may take a bit more time, box that fits up against an open but as long as it isn’t essential window to keep soda cold when (looking for some moldy bread your fridge is broken. to create penicillin is not some- Use cling wrap, a tube from thing I would advise) the search glow sticks for stabilizing, some can be fun. more duck tape, and a couple A month or so ago, I did not clips to create a thing that allows want to go through the ordeal air up onto a Percopo deck. And of buying a table and so I tried so on. We are Rose-Hulman en- to do without. Stacks of text- gineers! It’s far more awesome books work... until you want to to build than it is to buy. 6 OPINIONS The Rose Thorn Late phone bills... seriously. Mark Minster type of bills that they are, which didn’t pay the phone bills? What is indeed a good point. However, gives? What kind of account- Since my holiday break was gullible to say “no.” these are not your run of the mill ability is the FBI held to? As law mostly no laughing matter, let I don’t remember much of And the office phone bills. These bills are enforcement, they should be the me dwell on the part that was. what followed. opinion the phone bills that cover impor- second most efficient (second (Eventually, I’m sure, some- Anyway, what’s funny about tant phone lines that transmit to the Department of Defense, thing will be funny to me about this are the e-mails I got from is... surveillance results to the FBI, in theory of course) part of the my father’s recovery from the my college friends, guys I used to something terribly important to government! But no, their fi- heart failure that nearly killed play table hockey with (a.k.a. Sti- the mission of the FBI in combat- nancial management system him two days before Christmas— ga or Super-Chexx, a.k.a. “bub- ing terror and criminals. dates back to the 1980s (come and that something will probably ble hockey”) back in the day, in Andrew Klusman But wait, there’s more FBI fail- on, does anyone run software be the paranoid fantasies he had, the bars of Oxford, Ohio. O p i n i o n s E d i t o r ing in the realm of finances. This from the 1980s?... Anybody?). coming down from pain meds, Mookie, who’s been married was not just a case of not paying If the FBI has the technology to about being part of a police sting long enough to have two kids one or two bills. Over half of the track terrorists using cell phones operation to investigate the hos- (they’re cleverer than anyone Name one department of the 990 telecommunication surveil- and the Global Positioning Sys- pital staff. “Ever done anything you or I will ever know) wrote, government that you think would lance bills the FBI has to pay to tem (GPS), why can they not pay like that before?” I asked. “Not,” “Congratulations! An XBOX! A be good with financial matters, keep service going were not paid phone bills and run a financial he said slowly, looking around, fiancée, I’ve had one of those especially with paying bills on on time. In addition to not pay- management program that pays “to quite this extent.” Right now, before. But I’ve never had an time (and no, not the Internal ing phone bills, an FBI employee bills on time, in addition to hav- though, given that his legs crum- XBOX…” Revenue Service, they just take stole $25,000 from an FBI Field ing halfway-decent oversight pled under him as I was help- Viddy said, “Congratulations the tax money, not spend it). Office. These stories are just two so FBI employees cannot steal ing him up the front steps from to you and Candace! But wait, One might say the Federal Bu- of possibly many financial over- the equivalent of a base-model the hospital, given that he’s still you sure you don’t want to marry reau of Investigation (FBI) might sights in the FBI that a recent au- brand-new Toyota Camry? learning to use a walker—it’s not her grandmother?” be good at this type of thing. After dit of the FBI that was quasi-re- After the gross negligence of funny at all.) Gilbert (whose family’s busi- all, they do have to follow strict leased (the FBI claims that most the U.S. Congress in passing a What’s funny about my break ness is making mozzarella, which procedures and laws when ap- of the information contained in series of bills totaling over $550 this year, by contrast, is what I makes me think of him every prehending a suspect, then trying the audit is too sensitive for pub- billion, we should call on our got for Christmas. I raked it in. time I watch The Life of Brian) him, and getting him convicted. lic release). government to get their finances It was a haul, a serious, hardcore wrote, “If you hurry and have the Well, it turns out that the FBI, for This is a huge problem. This is in line, and stop the immense haul. wedding in Vegas, we can make all of its excellence in crime fight- the top law enforcement agency waste that slips through the In no particular order, I re- it in time for the International ing, isn’t good with paying bills in the country, and they are not cracks of politicians, but gets ceived: Table Hockey Championships on time. Here you might argue receiving potential national se- picked up by the Congressional • From Candace, a carbon- on January 28th.” He’s pretty on the number of bills, and the curity data because some clerk watchdogs. ation machine for turning still much serious. (You know I’m se- water into sparkling water, be- rious, too, don’t you? There really cause I myself am one of the is an International Table Hockey world’s great carbon sinks (bub- Federation, and there really is The legality of BitTorrent bly CO2 goodness!) an International Table Hockey J.P. Verkamp Xubuntu installation with a few uses for the protocol that break • From Candace’s grandmoth- Championship. It’s a beautiful, Staff Writer extra packages—such as Snort no copyright laws. One example er, a Kitchen-Aid stand mixer beautiful world.) and ntop—designed to track net- is the distribution of the install (stirry goodness!) After Gil’s e-mail came the in- File sharing, and the BitTorrent work traffic. CDs/DVDs for many Linux dis- • From the same grandmoth- evitable trash-talking, along with protocol in particular, have be- There were a few problems tributions. Due to the size of a er, a cappuccino maker (frothy Eric’s predictable reminiscence come a significant issue to both with the MPAA’s approach how- CD or DVD image, the ability to goodness!) about the last game we ever copyright organizations and In- ever, including the fact that the lessen the bandwidth require- • From Candace’s cousin, an played, with a gorgeous little ternet service providers over the source code was not made avail- ments on the servers and spread XBOX 360 to go with the PS2 I’d wrister that slipped past Viddy’s past several years. First, the pro- able for the portions of the proj- it out to a greater number is ben- gotten from her brother-in-law goalie as time expired. tocol and the programs that use it ect licensed under the General eficial to everyone. Another use a few years ago (eye-blurrying, The afternoon I arrived in New have grown quite popular, result- Public License (GPL). As men- comes from relatively unknown carpal-tunnelly goodness!) York at my father’s hospital bed- ing in the fact that BitTorrent traf- tioned in a previous issue of The artists and musicians that choose • A fiancée (goodness!). side, my father, too, starting to fic accounts for between 18% and Rose Thorn, this was the leverage to release their new albums on Kind readers, it’s true. I popped shake off his confusion, opened 25% of all Internet traffic world- that Ubuntu developers used to BitTorrent sites. I have listened the question and flashed the his eyes and said slowly, “I have wide (as of 2004), depending on force the MPAA to remove the to a number of these albums that ring (Canadian-mined diamond, to know”— he was still in quite the source and tracking methods. toolkit from their website. I would likely have never heard which avoids the likelihood of it a bit of pain from the breath- Furthermore, despite its legiti- Despite this success for open about had the artists not done having funded African militias or ing tube that was there for days mate uses, much of this traffic is source software, a number of le- so. terrorists; recycled gold, which — “what did you have to give her made up of pirated movies and gal issues still surround the use All together, the BitTorrent lessens some of the impact of to get her to say ‘yes’?” illegal MP3 downloads. of BitTorrent software. As men- protocol represents a significant mining; antique setting, because You see where the sense of hu- In October, the Motion Picture tioned earlier, much of the traf- advancement in downloading she digs that kind of thing). She, mor comes from. I learned from Association of America (MPAA) fic using the BitTorrent protocol files on a large network; however, for her part, was too stunned or the best. continued its seemingly unend- today consists of copyrighted like all technologies, it is pos- ing battle against piracy by send- material, such as MP3s and pi- sible to use it for illegal purposes ing a letter to the presidents of rated movies. Many of the track- as well as legal ones. One can Something you want to speak out on? each of twenty-five universities ers from which such content was only hope that as organizations that had been identified as the being offered have been taken of- like the MPAA continue to fight Tell us! top locations for downloading fline by way of legal action; how- against the sharing of copyright- pirated movies. In addition, they ever, many are still available. ed material, they will do so with- provided the universities with Yet one cannot merely block all out breaking the copyright laws e-mail: opinions@ a toolkit to help them monitor BitTorrent traffic as some univer- themselves and that the legiti- campus network traffic. In effect, sities seem keen to do; there are mate uses of BitTorrent software rose-hulman.edu the toolkit was little more than an a number of perfectly legitimate will not be infringed. An honest nod John Pinkus ten possible class times, we must think about my own habits in this other? the status of their foa, than to give Staff Writer have nine times throughout the activity, the more I realize the type The purpose of a greeting is a them some false impressions by day when we can travel en mass of people I greet isn’t easily quan- verbal and/or physical recogni- returning a trite greeting. Unlike our inboxes, we rarely from one class to another. It is tifiable. tion of some form of a mutual rela- That being said, this is what I am receive physical mail indiscrimi- during these travel periods when During the said passing period, tionship between two individuals. going to do for the remainder of my nately at this school. Also, only many greetings are exchanged, how many people have greeted Naturally these relationships are time at this school. If I am greeted triannually are these documents but this apparently simple act has you? Was it more than you greeted? mostly platonic in nature. These by an individual with whom I feel I of mostly cellulous not largely ig- many complexities. Did you return each of their greet- types of relationships are often have some form of foa, I will return nored by the student body. These First off, at what point are two ings? Have you ever greeted an called friendships or acquaintances the greeting. These returns will eight page documents are used to people supposed to exchange individual and that greeting wasn’t (foa). Non-platonic relationships be of the similar type of greeting facilitate an activity based entirely greetings with each other? Think returned? In what matter were the are a different topic all together. I giving to me. For instance, if I am upon seniority, which is register- about it, whom did you greet dur- greetings accomplished? A simple often find myself feeling obligated greeted with a head nod, I will re- ing for classes. Since this is the last ing the last passing period? If you head bob, the slight rise of an eye- to greet an individual, but isn’t this turn the greeting with a head nod. time I will register for classes at this are an upperclassman, do you still brow, a wave of the hand, or was just a representation of a forced If I feel that I don’t have a foa with school, I have heard much griping greet all of your old floor mates? it some kind of verbal communi- foa? For if the foa were truly mu- that person, I will simply continue from my fellow engineers. Com- Do you greet every professor that cation? If there was some verbal tual, the parties involved would walking. This will tell the individual plaints often center on schedule you have had at least taken one communication, do you think the greet each other without feeling I don’t consider him a friend or ac- conflicts, having to wake up earlier class from? Did you greet every- person who you greeted could un- social pressure to do so. Since most quaintance. If every person in this than desired, or an asinine non- body that you knew, everybody derstand every word that you said of us are “being polite,” we return school would engage in similar ac- blocked schedule. Although, an that is in a class or club with you, to them? Was there any eye con- the greetings. Ergo, we recognize tivity we could quickly determine aspect that we take for granted at or everybody that you consider an tact between you and the person many foa aren’t truly mutual in the status of every individual’s foa. this school, is that there are only acquaintance? Are there individu- you were greeting? Though, the nature. I hope that I am not alone Then this immensely complicated ten possible times a person can als that you greeted at one point, real question should be, why do in thinking it is more impolite to thing called life would become take a class. In order to have these but no longer do so? The more I we find it necessary to greet each be dishonest to individuals about slightly simpler. Friday, January 11, 2008 SPORTS 7 Engineer Scoreboard Athlete of the Week Men’s Basketball Women’s Basketball 4-9 (1-4) 5-7 (3-2) Tim Boyer December 29 Staff Writer December 19 Rose-Hulman 64 Blackburn College 52 at Wooster 49 This week’s Athlete of the Week is senior Mechanical Engineer at Rose-Hulman 102 Thomas Reives. Thomas is a four year member of the track and fi eld team and three year member of the football team. He is a December 30 two time conference champion capturing the Heartland Cole- Rose-Hulman 54 giate Athletic Conference’s triple title in 2007 and the Southern January 5 at U. of Redlands 60 Collegiate Athletic Conference’s high jump title in 2006. He was Transylvania University 61 named second-team Academic All-American in 2007 and ranked at Rose-Hulman 58 January 5 13th nationally in the high jump during the indoor season, miss- Rose-Hulman 45 ing qualifying for the NCAA Division III Nationals by the slim at Transylvania University 56 margin of .25 inches. He has career-best marks of 6’ 7 1/2” in the January 9 high jump, 42’ 11” in the triple jump, 6.63 seconds in the 55m dash and 43.07 seconds as a part of the 4x100m relay. In football Rose-Hulman 62 January 9 at Mt. St. Joseph 75 Reives ranked second in the HCAC in receiving yards and led the Mt. St. Joseph 42 leagues in average yards per catch. at Rose-Hulman 54 Off the football fi eld, Reives serves as the Vice-President of Al- pha Tau Omega. He is also a member of the National Society of Swimming and Diving Black Engineers and a part of the Alpha Lambda Delta academic January 9 fraternity and Tau Beta Pi Honors Society. After graduation, he University of Evansville M-2nd, W-2nd Picture by Rose-Hulman News will begin his position at Eli Lilly and Company. Terre Haute, IN Rose Thorn: How long have you been in track? Thomas Reives: I have been running track since I was in the 6th grade.
RT: Did you play football in high school? TR: Yes. However, I was the punter and place kicker because I played soccer during the same season.
Treason in the RT: What are some of your proudest accomplishments? TR: I am most proud of my Academic All-American recognitions (football and track) and the 1st Team All HCAC selection in football. It is an enormous blessing to be recognized nationally for anything. And I am proud of the all conference selection because of how much I developed and how hard I worked to get better fi rst degree since I started sophomore year. Until this season, I had only caught fi ve balls in my career and none in my fi rst season. I can’t even explain in words how good it felt to help the team win games this season.
RT: Which sport do you like more, track or football? Matt Melton which are appropriate at this TR: I have grown to like football more than track. I think it is more intense and players have the ability to Staff Writer time…or any time, for that mat- be more creative. You never know what is going to happen each down. Plays rarely unfold as scripted, and ter. Clearly, rooting for the Pack- that is exciting. I’m about to commit a crime ers in northwest Indiana is not that is one of the worst you could socially acceptable. It’s like root- RT: Which events do you participate in? ever commit. Treason. What am I ing for Saddam Hussein. You TR: I have always participated in the high jump and short sprinting events. I did not sprint last year be- planning to do this weekend? don’t it. Period. Then why? Why cause I was focusing on high jump. Toward the end of the year I started triple jumping. This year I will be I’m going to root for the Green am I rooting for the Packers? competing in all of the events mentioned above as well as a few of the relays. Bay Packers. Who or what could make a die- I know, I know. Say it isn’t so! hard Bears fan actually want to RT: How do you think the track team as whole will do this year? Blasphemy! Sacrilege! My twin root for the most hated person TR: I think that the men have a strong chance to compete and win conference this year if everyone stays brother would deny being re- in Chicago since Steve Bartman? healthy and works hard to get better throughout the season. The women will also do well this season. Even lated, my friends would disown One man: Brett Favre. though they are few in numbers, our women always compete well. me, my mother…I think my The QB of all QB’s. Forget Tom mother would cry. And my fa- Brady, he has nothing on Brett RT: How has playing a varsity sport had an effect on your experience at Rose? ther, if he ever got wind of this, it Favre. Favre would easily break TR: Playing varsity sports has given me an opportunity escape from the homework, projects, reports, re- would all be over. He’d force me all the single season records like search, and everything that gets thrown at students throughout the workweek. When I am out on the fi eld to drop out of Rose by refusing to Brady has if he was also throw- or track, nothing else matters but getting better, working hard, and having fun. Playing sports keeps me co-sign any ing to a re- balanced, and its one of the reasons I decided to come to Rose. of my loans ceiving core until I went commonly RT: Do you plan on staying involved in track or football after graduation? back home His back-ups mistaken for TR: I have one more year of eligibility in football, and I will be going to graduate school in a few years to for an exor- the Pro Bowl pursue an MBA, so it is possible that I will give football another shot, but unlikely. I may get involved in a cism. get less action team. Instead, few adult basketball or soccer leagues immediately after graduation, but I think I will hang up my spikes at I’d be on he decided the end of this spring. I wouldn’t mind becoming a track coach at some point, but that will be many years the fast track than a Tibetan to break all from now. to exile and the career re- embarrass- monastery in a cords held by ment, all be- Marino and ago because of cold clearly have ues to be one of the positive role dation, which has donated over cause I de- “snowstorm. company. Ex- no clue who Brett Favre is. He’s models in the NFL. He started $2 million to charities in Mis- cided to root cept he got 40-5 at Lambeau fi eld when the the Brett Favre Fourward Foun- sissippi. He won the Chris Grei- for a football a ring in the temperature is be- cius Celebrity Award from the team that process – two, low 34 degrees at Make-A-Wish Foundation for made the actually. He’s kickoff. 40-5. He his outstanding work with the playoffs this year. having one of the best seasons of gets better when organization. Perhaps most sur- By now, you may be wonder- his career at the age of 38. Most it’s cold out. Say- prisingly, he’s been married for ing “why is it so wrong to root for quarterbacks are limping by the ing Favre can’t play 11 years now, with two daugh- a football team?” Well, I’m from age of 38. Not Favre. “Iron Man” in the cold is like ters that are urging him to play northwest Indiana, essentially ”is pretty much invincible, play- telling Einstein he yet another year in the NFL. He’s Chicago, meaning I root for the ing an inhuman 253 regular sea- can’t do physics. probably going to, he’s said. How Chicago Cubs (the only baseball son games straight as the Pack- Yeah, Mr. Ein- about for an AFC team? team in Chicago), the Chicago er’s quarterback/human target. stein, your theo- Except on Sundays against Da Blackhawks, and of course, Da The guy takes more hits than ries on relativity Bears, I can’t not like Brett Fa- Bears: The Monsters of the Mid- Rocky’s punching bag and still are great and all, vre. Determined, victorious, a way. The pride and joy of Illinois. gets up to play, week after week but I think you’d do positive role model – the man’s The basis of the best SNL sketch after week, since September 27, much better cross- more American than Uncle Sam. since Samurai Deli. And when it 1992. His back-ups get less ac- breeding these Perhaps the reason Packers fans comes to rivalries in sports, the tion than a Tibetan monastery bean plants… like him so much is what he’s Bears and the Packers have few in a snowstorm. In comparison, Seriously peo- done against the Bears. Favre is equals. We’re like the Montagues the Bears have had 19 different ple, try fi nding 13-3 against Chicago in Chicago. and the Capulets. If a Bears fan quarterbacks in that same span. another reason Here’s to hoping he doesn’t teach sees a Packers fan in public, he’s Why haven’t we traded for this to make Favre that to Aaron Rodgers, his back- legally obligated to harass said guy yet? look bad, not that up since 2005. I also fi nd it kind fan with some insulting remark. Throw deep, scramble, take you could. While of funny that 13-3 happens to be Bonus points if said remark in- a hit—Favre can do it all at any other NFL play- the record Favre led the Packers volves the fan’s mother. And us time. He even dominates in the ers are out party- to this year. true Bears fans have all prac- frigid cold of winter when all ing, womanizing, Brett Favre is 13-3 against the Chicago Bears at Chi- But Packers fans, which team ticed remarks like this. I know the other teams try to run more. and trying creative cago. gave you two of those losses? roughly 17 different names for People criticizing Favre for play- new ways to go to the Green Bay Packers, none of ing poorly in Chicago two weeks jail, Favre contin- Picture courtesy: http://media.scout.com/Media/NFL/53_favre-falcons.JPG 8 FLIPSIDE The Rose Thorn Wacky prof quotes Where is all the rain “Get as far away from here 2008: Year of the as possible and forget this place” — Dr. Wagner, on on campus going? what to do over break. Inane Politicians Aaron Meles - Editor-in-Chief “So...according to other fac- James Zhou ulty, Chapters 8 & 9 are Partner In Crime not well written. So take good notes.”— Dr. Shib- There exists a subtype of humans apt at nothing except disgrac- beru, giving good advice. ing themselves by lying constantly… and poorly. I could make a joke about Purdue students right now, but at least they will occasionally do “It’s like when I tried to get something useful if struck with sufficient force. While politicians are you guys on drugs to see reasonably entertaining when they call each other names and cry on these streamlines.”— Dr. national television, for some obscure reason they believe that they can Richards, on a different actually lead a country to something other than ruin. Look it up if you kind of higher education. don’t believe me, but every government that has ever fallen was led by a politician at the time. “And then the monster takes Still, it is election year and we’ll probably have to cover the election the austenite out of the issues at some point. Rather than carefully considering the implica- furnace and holds it at tions of all the issues at hand and come to conclusions based on rea- 400 degrees C for a long son and logic, I will follow modern politics and announce my beliefs time” — Dr. Ferro, scar- as the The One Perfect And Totally Awesome Solution To All Of Your ing the materials students Problems� in the form of catchy sound bites. Ahem: again. Abortion – “I’m a guy, not my problem. Next issue.” Budget & Economy – “Give me all your money. I’m better at wasting “In Terre Haute I get my thrill it.” seeking by going to the Civil Rights – “Only civil people will have rights. No lefts for anyone, barber shop” — Dr. Ferro, including children. Surgeons will be on call to take all your lefts.” discussing the exciting life Corporations – “I love corporations. This message was sponsored by of Dr. Ferro the General WalSoft Company.” Crime – “Crime is bad. Stop committing them to get drugs.” “I don’t feel that bad about Drugs – “Drugs are great. Commit crimes to get more.” lying to you” — Dr. Rich- Education – “In order to improve the country’s low test scores, all low ards. Got to love the man’s test scorers will be kicked out of the country.” honesty. Energy & Oil – “I’ll answer that once I have flown to Tokyo on my pri- vate jet to attend an energy conference about fuel economy.” “Where’s the Hulman at? Environment – “I have trees, therefore I love nature and would never Maybe that’s what he give away over 83.4% of the national parklands to developmental told his friends after they interests with great hotel ideas.” hooked up” — Dr. Stein- Families & Children – “50% of marriages end in divorce and the other stra, loving our Cosmo Girl 50% end in death. Marriage must be abolished to insure quality of award like none other. life for everyone.” Foreign Policy – “I will blame everything on Canada.” Constantly spam me with Free Trade – “Everyone will be free to trade their stuff to me.” your prof quotes at Government Reform – “I promise to reform the government. I swear. fl[email protected] You can trust me; would a politician lie to you just to get your votes?” Top Ten random Gun Control – “Guns are an outdated technology. We now have weap- ons with far greater destructive potential. Nukes for everyone, ex- This day... cept Iran.” thoughts...? 29,000 bath Health Care – “I don’t care about your health. If you did, you would The Thorn Staff 1992: toys from stop stuffing hamburgers and cigarettes in your face.” First Days Inc. are washed Homeland Security – “I lead a campaign of hope. Hope the terrorists Lvl. 70 Flipsid e M a s t e r s overboard into the Pacific won’t kill you.” Ocean. The world’s largest Immigration – “I propose that a great wall be constructed around the 14. Is this what happens when I run out of Top Ten ideas? Yes. I bathtub party did not ensue United States. We’ll import Mexicans to build it.” apologize. Blame Canada. due to hurricane Rubber Infrastructure & Technology – “American infrastructure is not falling Ducky. apart. Duct tape will solve all your problems.” 13. What happened to Hertz? And where are my Cheetos? Jobs – “Steve is a great guy; check out my iPhone.” NASA be- Principles & Values – “Learn to value yourself because no one else 12. Where are my pants? 1962: gins plans to will.” build the C-5 Rocket booster. Social Security – “Our society is secure because we pass all our prob- 11. Gummi Bears make good slingshot ammo. Speed does not The Rocket is later renamed lems to the next generation, who will be too overworked to defend make a good target. (Too many big windows) Saturn V, as NASA employ- themselves.” ees became tired of interns Tax Reform – “Again, give me all your money. Don’t worry, I’ll give 10. Are people not sending in wacky prof quotes, or are profs shouting “bingo” evertime some back.” not being wacky enough? they said C-5. War & Peace – “That story is long and boring. Like real wars. If elected president, I will employ script writers to make it more dramatic.” 9. I need to take EM549, Rocketry and Projectiles, so next time Welfare & Poverty – “Give your money to the poor. They deserve it someone sarcastically says “What are you, a rocket scientist?” I ...in history more than you do.” can reply: “Yes. Yes I am.”
8. What’s the best invention before sliced bread? When was sliced bread invented? Why is everything the greatest invention Erin Hudson - Staff Cartooninator since sliced bread even though there have been much better in- ventions since sliced bread? How many times can I say sliced bread in one entry sliced bread?
7. I lost the game. Game on. If you don’t know what that means, Wikipedia “The Game” and spread the love.
6. TBR run. Right now.
5. American Gladiators is the greatest TV show since sliced br…. wait a second…
4. Derka-derka, I claim shenanigans, and this…is…the most overused movie line since “Hello, Clarice.”
3. This is where I parked my car!
2. Laking is officially on off-season until April. Sometime in May, I think I’ll challenge everyone to lake me. And a friendly reminder: Icing is not a school tradition.
1. Why are the lines “What he tells his friends after you hook- up”, “50 ways to get sexy hair,” and “5 moves to a hotter body” on Rose’s homepage? And where can I get those lists?
Goooooooooood Friday, Rose-Hulman! All unattributed material was brought to you by Matt Melton, speaking in third person, except that pie chart, which was all Aaron Meles. Another Friday, another weekend of dominating the world, one Risk board at a time. For those of you who haven’t learned of the Mr. Rose Pageant yet, please do. Best idea since...you know. When will the rain stop? I blame Canada. Who agrees with me that This is Sparta is said way too much? Seriously, if you’re not Gerard Butler, get a new catch-phrase...Shenanigans!