Written by Laurie Wygonik 208 Elbrook Drive Natrona
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HELL’S BELLS “Pilot” Written by Laurie Wygonik 208 Elbrook Drive Natrona Heights, PA 15065 Res: (724) 224-2893 Cell: (412) 996-6766 [email protected] HELL’S BELLS MAIN CHARACTERS Stanley “Sonny” Pulaski, Jr.: Very tall, slender, late 20s, thinning blond hair, clean shaven, he graduated from Carnegie Mellon University where he lost most of his Pittsburgh accent. Self-employed as a wedding photographer, he’s afraid to spend money. Businesslike, non-judgmental and politically correct, he never curses, is afraid of offending and lacks self confidence. He has good taste and is very neat and organized. His nemesis is Damian as he sees him as competition. Sonny’s Devil: Animated character with the voice of Gilbert Gottfried, he is jaded and persuasive. He has squinted eyes, is balding but his horns have hair. He wears a red smoking jacket and dares Sonny to do things that are out of his character. He calls Sonny “Stush”. He succeeds in nudging Sonny to speak up for himself and have more confidence. Stormy “Stormy C.” Cohen: An early 20s only child, Jewish princess with long, dark hair, she’s a free spirit and is annoyingly positive. Her only job is singing and spends the rest of her time shopping, buying things that need fixed up. She likes Victorian antiques and collects many things that she keeps hidden. Unlike her mom, she is not concerned with appearances and simply adds a hat, scarf or piece of jewelry to cover up a flaw. She is attracted to bad boys because her family wants her to date doctors. Her nemesis is Ruby as she wishes she would just relax. Stormy’s Devil: Animated character with the impersonated voice of Joan Rivers, she is snarky and vain. She wears a low cut red cocktail dress with a red boa and has horns with red sequins on them. Her mouth barely moves when she talks. She plays with her hair and makeup and dares Stormy to do things that are out of her character. She calls Stormy by her middle name, “Cinderella”. She succeeds in opening Stormy’s eyes to reality. MAJOR CHARACTERS Ruby DeAngelis: Owner of “Bells & Whistles”, an agency that plans weddings and events, she’s in her 60s and wears red with angel accessories. She is short and tiny with dark hair pulled into a tight bun. She’s never married and she’s not looking. She has an over-dramatic accent and repeats words at least three times. She is high strung and controlling, leaving nothing at an event to happen organically. She always has a backup plan. Damian Ross: In his early 30s he’s a fantastic vocalist and in the band with Stormy, acting as the emcee. He has the super power of growing facial hair in a few hours. He flirts with everyone and enjoys free drinks. Since he wants to be a rock star, he has trouble toning down his act at weddings. His expensive wardrobe is kept in garment bags. He spends all his money to keep up his appearance so no one will know he’s broke. He rents a small, dingy studio in Sonny and Stormy’s house. Lady in Blue Dress: Played by a variety of people, she appears in every episode wearing the same light blue dress with a rhinestone buckle. She has no lines. Stanley Pulaski, Sr.: Sonny’s dad is a Polish, Catholic and in his early 60s with a beer belly. He was force-retired from his labor job at the steel mill, is negative and easily agitated. He enjoys hunting, fishing and watching the Steelers, Pirates and Penguins on TV. He has a strong Pittsburgh accent and is not politically correct. He’s never owned a home but always has a late model truck to pay for. He plays the lottery every day. Teresa Pulaski: Sonny’s mom is Polish, Catholic, in her late 50s, short and slightly overweight. She makes pierogies and Polish nut rolls to make extra money. She is very polite and sweet but naive about life outside of her small suburb. She is hospitable and kind and is expecting Sonny to produce Catholic grandchildren for her. MAJOR CHARACTERS, CONT. Stella “Baba” Wojciechowski: Sonny’s maternal grandmother is in her late 80s, is Polish and the owner of the house the family lives in. She looks frail but is opinionated and butts into family affairs. She is going senile and says crazy things as well as bits of wisdom. She wears her bed clothes all the time and speaks in broken Pittsburghese. David Pulaski: In his mid twenties, he’s average height but well built. He’s jealous of Sonny’s success and he’s always blaming bad luck or bad government for his situation. A blonde haired hunk, he seems to have no problem attracting women until they find out he’s unemployed, unmotivated and negative. He has a strong Pittsburgh accent. Candace “Candy” Cohen: Stormy’s mother is Jewish, in her early 40s, this trophy wife has bleached blonde hair, is always working on her body and face and being vain, spends most of her time trying to keep up her appearance. She has little time for anything in between golfing, doctor’s appointments and exercise classes. She is a snob and wants Stormy to date doctors and lawyers. Dr. Jacob Cohen: Stormy’s dad is tall and handsome, in his late 50s and very careful about what he eats since he obeys kosher laws and is a cardiologist. He’s always concerned about what people in the community will think, being a high profile local doctor. Since he treats all types of patients, he is polite and non-judgmental. Dominique Laurent: The Cohen’s French live-in housekeeper is in her late 60s, is plump with gray hair and wears a white uniform. Although a meticulous housekeeper, she has difficulty adapting to cooking healthy and kosher. She is often seen in the background ironing sheets, picking up crumbs or sneaking butter into the food. MINOR CHARACTERS Papz Amir: Ruby’s administrative assistant is also responsible for Bells & Whistles’ publicity and promotion. He tries to get free publicity in newspapers and local magazines by embellishing the stories. Vincent/Veronica: In his late 20s, he owns “Awesome Blossoms” a high priced floral design studio. A drag queen played by one person, Vincent handles the business side and Veronica handles the creative side. The other wedding professionals play along and treat him/them like twin brother and sister. Rose “Aunt Rose” Cohen: Stormy’s great aunt is an aging hippie that never married. She looks older than she is with long, stringy hair. She rents a small space in Sonny and Stormy’s house where she does psychic and tarot card readings. Nick Karistopolis: In his 60s, he’s known as the best caterers in Pittsburgh. A jolly Greek, he’s loud and sloppy looking and wears a food stained apron and greasy shoes. He loves to mingle with wedding guests so the other wedding professionals are always trying to get him back in the kitchen and out of view. Allen Powers: Anal retentive owner of “Flour Powers”, a bakery that makes wedding cakes and cookies. He and his staff can create anything out of cake. He is tense and meticulous and sees imperfections that no one else sees. It makes him crazy when relatives bake and provide cookies for weddings, which is a Pittsburgh tradition. Laurie Wymer: In her late 20s, she’s Stormy’s friend and a real estate agent. She has a great sense of humor and has great, practical advice on almost everything. She has a crush on Damian and is always trying to get invited to events where the band is playing. MINOR CHARACTERS. CONT. Jeffrey: A pretty boy in his early 20s, he is Vincent’s partner. Vincent employs him as an assistant but he’s more of a gopher. He does Vincent’s makeup and helps him transform into Veronica. Catherine “Cathy” Pyszcynski: Sonny’s older sister, she’s the perfect Catholic housewife and mother. She is quiet and one to always follow the rules. Joseph “Joe” Pyszcynski, Sr.: Catherine’s husband is a 35 year old, mild mannered head of accounting at the mill. He has nerdy looks, is Polish, Catholic and a good provider. Joseph “Joey” Pyszcynski, Jr.: No one is sure how such a holy terror could be created by parents who are so quiet and reserved. He’s 8 years old and a Catholic schooled brat. Mary Beth Pyszcynski: She’s 7 years old, Catholic schooled and very critical. She wears pink girly clothes, and since she takes dance classes, loves to show off her talents. HELL’S BELLS SETTINGS Pittsburgh: A city with three rivers that has emerged as one of America’s most livable cities. Some things that make Pittsburgh unique: We have our own language; it’s a melting pot with neighborhoods segregated by nationality; there is no more than one degree of separation between any two people; people do everything to avoid crossing a bridge or going through a tunnel; everyone loves the Pirates, Penguins, Steelers and pierogis. Sonny and Stormy’s House: A large Victorian “fixer-upper” in a popular business district like Walnut St. in Shadyside. Some rooms are renovated and some are still in ruins. “Rain or Shine Photography” is on the street level and Sonny and Stormy live on the second floor. Sonny’s style is sleek and contemporary with stark black and white while Stormy collects Victorian antiques.