# 1 Classroom Closet In your classroom, you notice there is a closet your

teacher never opens. One day you open it. In several paragraphs, write a story telling what happens.

T/D I fell down in it and i saw A ferocious math monster in It and i yelled miss Lola and Yelled help me.

This response demonstrates an insufficient ability to compose a narrative. This brief response lists what happens to the character in the closet (I fell down it and i saw A ferocious math monster in It and i yelled miss Lola and Yelled help me). There is one specific detail to describe a character (ferocious math monster), but there is no elaboration detailing the setting (the closet is referred to as it) or the events (I fell down…i saw...i yelled). There is no sense of a story. The brevity (one run-on sentence) does not allow the reader to sense the person behind the words. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 1.

COS 1

Pasco School District Fall Common Writing Assessment Grade 3 Scoring Papers, Page 1 of 17

Classroom Closet #2 In your classroom, you notice there is a closet your teacher never opens. One day you open it. In several paragraphs, write a story telling what happens.

T She’ll see all kinds of school suplies that they need. They’ll see construction D paper and writing paper. They’ll see Tape, marker, crayons, colored pencils, coloring boxes, pencils, copeses reading books, binders 200 papers spirel E notebooks, big pink earasers, 15 big big pencils, math books whatever you need everything you need for school.

This response demonstrates an insufficient ability to compose a narrative. This response begins with a runaway opening (She’ll see all kinds of school suplies that they need) that fails to provide a setting for the narrative. The response then presents a list of specific supplies (construction paper and writing paper…Tape, marker, crayons, colored pencils, coloring boxes, pencils, copeses reading books, binders 200 papers spirel notebooks, big pink earasers, 15 big big pencils, math books…) and a brief extension (whatever you need everything you need for school). There is no sense of a story. There is little evidence of an organizational structure and neither an introduction nor a conclusion is present, leaving the response feeling incomplete. The brevity of the response does not allow the reader to sense the person behind the words. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 1.

COS 1

Pasco School District Fall Common Writing Assessment Grade 3 Scoring Papers, Page 2 of 17

Classroom Closet # 3 In your classroom, you notice there is a closet your teacher never opens. One day you open it. In several paragraphs, write a story telling what happens.

Intro Hi My name is morrie. I have some to tell you. I am going to tell you about when I open the teacher closet. T,D One day I open the teacher closet. I sole candy toys, pizes, piecher food, D,D,D money. I herd the teacher comeing. I run to hide some where. she got some D,D,E thing and was gone. I that I was in troble. I run to the closet. I tack Some D,E candy and some of and some thies of that. I run outside. I was eating the D Concl candy. But I got into trouble. I never did it agin.

This response demonstrates an insufficient ability to compose a narrative. This writing has a brief introduction (Hi my name is morrie. I have some to tell you. I am going to tell you about when I open the teacher closet) and a brief closing statement (But I got into trouble. I never did it agin), but the response only briefly describes the setting (One day I open the teacher closet) and provides a list of what was stolen (candy toys, pizes, piecher food, money) showing little evidence of an organizational pattern. The simple subject-verb sentences and lack of transitions create a series of events, but no complete story. The limited vocabulary, lack of sentence variety, and lack of transitions provide the reader with little sense of the person behind the words. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 1.

COS 1 (high 1)

Pasco School District Fall Common Writing Assessment Grade 3 Scoring Papers, Page 3 of 17 Classroom Closet In your classroom, you notice there is a closet your # 4 teacher never opens. One day you open it. In several paragraphs, write a story telling what happens.

Intro One day notice there is a closet in the classroom that my teacher never opens. T,D,D One day I open the closet. I wasn’t in the classroom. I was in the jnugle I seen E,D,E trees, bird and bugs. I look awird the I sooe a snack. I did not move then I run D and run. Then I was looking for the dore to go bake to the classroom I look E and look I look one more time I find a dore I find the dore I open the dore I E Concl was in the classroom do not go in that clost.

This response demonstrates a weak ability to compose a narrative. Although the response has a brief opening statement (One day notice there is a closet in the classroom that my teacher never opens) and brief closing statement (do not go in that clost), there is little evidence of an organizational pattern. The response briefly describes the setting using a list without any elaboration (I was in the jnugle I seen trees, bird, and bugs). The response does provide some minor development by extending ideas beyond a series of events (One day notice there is a closet in the classroom that my teacher never opens…I wasn’t in the classroom. I was in the jnugle…I was looking for the dore to go bake to the classroom I look and look I look one more time…), a quality that a 1 level paper lacks. The response uses basic transitions (One day…Then…) that aid in connecting and moving the story, but the limited development of the response exhibits little sense of completeness. The attempt at variety in sentence structure and limited word choice provide the reader with a minimal sense of the person behind the words. . The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 2.

COS 2 (low 2)

Pasco School District Fall Common Writing Assessment Grade 3 Scoring Papers, Page 4 of 17

Classroom Closet # 5 In your classroom, you notice there is a closet your teacher never opens. One day you open it. In several paragraphs, write a story telling what happens.

Intro It was the beginning of school when I was curios because I was wanting to know what was in the closet. I was planning to do it in october. Then I decided to do it sometime in December. T/D Then in December I went I went in the closet and there was; movies, E,E compaters, pencils, vcrs, and a dvd player also behind the movies was gum. I D,D shut the closet door. Then I went to the door what to the hall. When the teacher caught me he was normal. T The teacher took me to the princeables office because I looked in the closet D door. The teacher was talking to the princeable telling him what I had done. E Then they came out and the princeable said You are in detention for a week

This response demonstrates a weak ability to compose a narrative. This selection has a brief introduction (It was the beginning of school when I was curios because I was wanting to know what was in the closet. I was planning to do it in October. Then I decided to do it sometime in December) and a brief closing statement (Then they came out and the princeable said You are in detention for a week) indicating an attempt at an organizational pattern by giving the story a beginning, middle, and end. The response provides some minor development (I was planning to do it in october. Then I decided to do it sometime in December…The teacher took me to the princeables office because I looked in the closet door) and some supporting details (October…December…behind the movies there was gum…to the hall…princeables office), but there is also extraneous detail (When the teacher caught me he was normal). The response describes the setting by listing the closet’s contents (movies, computers, pencils, vcrs, and a dvd player…), but the lack of elaboration keeps the story from being complete. The use of basic transitions (then…also…when…) aid in connecting the events of the story, but the limited vocabulary and the limited variety in sentence structure give the reader only a vague sense of the person behind the words. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 2.

COS 2

Pasco School District Fall Common Writing Assessment Grade 3 Scoring Papers, Page 5 of 17

Classroom Closet # 6 In your classroom, you notice there is a closet your teacher never opens. One day you open it. In several paragraphs, write a story telling what happens.

Intro One day in New York city there was a bourding school there were two little kid named Jimmy, and Judie they were both 10 year old they were doing a test about animals when the teacher said, “If you see a watch please reoport it to me,” the teacher said and the first one to find it win a month with no homwork. T/D Everybody looked everywher but still no watch but the place they did not E look was the classroom closet that the teacher never opened in 12 year some E people say ther a dead guy inside the closet that why nobody open the door. D,E One day I went to the closet I slowy open the door and then I saw a watch I E grab it gave it to the teacher and I got one month of no homwork.

This response demonstrates a weak ability to compose a narrative. In this piece of writing, the setting (One day in New York city there was a bourding school), characters (there were two little kid named Jimmy and Judie), and the opening event (They were doing a test about animals when the teacher said, “If you see a watch please reoport it to me,”) are established in the opening. The author continues to develop this at the conclusion of the first paragraph (and the first one to find it win a month with no homework) providing a framework for the reader. The writing remains focused on the problem presented (Everybody looked everywhere but still no watch but the place they did not look was the classroom closet) and provides a solution (One day I went to the closet I slowly open the door and then I saw a watch I grab it gave it to the teacher and I got one month of no homework). By doing so, the author has shown an organization of thoughts that give the story a beginning, middle, and end that are connected and move forward, but the brevity gives little sense of completeness. There are some nice details (New York city…bourding school…two little kid…both 10 year old…doing a test about animals), but there are only two that are pertinent to the story (the classroom that the teacher never opened in 12 year Some people say ther a dead guy inside the closet that why nobody open the door), which is a hallmark of a 2. The one line of dialogue is done well but overall, the limited and predictable vocabulary, use of basic transitions (One day…when…), and limited variety of sentence structure give only a vague sense of the person behind the words. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 2.

COS 2

Pasco School District Fall Common Writing Assessment Grade 3 Scoring Papers, Page 6 of 17

# 7 Classroom Closet In your classroom, you notice there is a closet your teacher never opens. One day you open it. In several paragraphs, write a story telling what happens.

Intro th “Hi” My name is Mary. This is my 16 day at this school & I already made three friends! Judy, she is 13 On the cheerleading squad, and has Blonde hair. Barbie is 12, in one month she will be 13. On the gymnastics team and has Amber brown hair. Then their is also Tina, Barbie’s twin sister. Tina is the same exact thing as Barbie both 12 both almost 13 Both on the gymnastics team. T,D One day I noticed a closet that the teacher never opened. I asked Judy if D she’d open it, she said “No way!” Next I asked Tina she said “yeah right!” Then D,D I finally asked Barbie, she said “Uh Uh!” Then I guess I will have to do it myself. T/D So the next day I went to school and I said to myself “I can do it!” over & over & over in my head. T Then I went over to the closet reached for the door knob & opened it! Oh D,E My gosh!!!! It was only a stupid janitors closet! E I am so mad I could pull out all my hair! Concl A couple days later everything was back to normal. Also everyone too. The End

This response demonstrates a weak ability to compose a narrative. This story has an opening (“Hi” My name is Mary. This is my 16th day at this school & I already made three friends), a middle, and an end (A couple of days later everything was back to normal. Also everyone too) that indicate an attempt at an organizational pattern. The reader is introduced to four characters (Mary, Judy, Barbie, Tina) that are briefly described (an aspect that is considered a plus) and each character plays a small role in the story. The limited dialogue of the characters is handled well and is another plus in the writing. There are some nice details (my 16th day…made three friends…I am so mad I could pull out all my hair) that add to the story. While the characterizations are detailed (Judy, she is 13 On the cheerleading squad, and has Blonde hair. Barbie is 12, in one month she will be 13. On the gymnastics team and has Amber brown hair), the details are only very loosely related to the story. The characterization of the second twin is repetitive (Tina is the same exact thing as Barbie both 12 both almost 13 Both on the gymnastics team) which indicates a lapse in the organization of the response. After the character development and interplay, the story feels rushed and the ending tacked on and irrelevant (A couple of days later everything was back to normal. Also everyone too); this further indicates that the writing is not fully organized and adds to the incomplete quality of the story. The student uses basic transitions to help connect the events of the story (One day…Next…Then…So…). Word choice and sentence structure are limited and predictable which provide the reader only a vague sense of the person behind the words. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 2.

COS 2

Pasco School District Fall Common Writing Assessment Grade 3 Scoring Papers, Page 7 of 17

Classroom Closet # 8 In your classroom, you notice there is a closet your teacher never opens. One day you open it. In several paragraphs, write a story telling what happens.

Intro One day at school in January 19, 2006, Cameron and I asked Mrs. Brown if we could stay in from recess. Mrs. Brown said, “Yes, both of you can stay in from recess.” When we were to tired of playing inside we decided to go outside, but we noticed an unfamiliar closet.

T We opened up the closet and there was a big sculpture of Mrs. Brown made of D chocolate. Cameron and I just started shoving our mouths full of chocolate. It E was the richest chocolate I ever had in my whole life!

T/D We split the chocolate and put it in our backpacks, but the chocolate started to turn in it’s original shape of Mrs. Brown in our stomach. For a whole month we E Concl looked like Mrs. Brown. That’s what was in the seceret closet.

This response demonstrates a weak ability to compose a narrative. This response has a beginning, middle, and end that remain connected throughout and denote organization. The opening reveals the setting for the events to come (One day at school in January 19, 2006, Cameron and I asked Mrs. Brown if we could stay in from recess. Mrs. Brown said, “Yes, both of you can stay in from recess. When we were to tired of playing inside we decided to go outside, but we noticed an unfamiliar closet) that shows the author has developed a plan for how the two characters find the closet. In the second paragraph, focus is maintained on the plot (We opened up the closet and there was a big sculpture of Mrs. Brown made of chocolate. Cameron and I just started shoving our mouths full of chocolate. It was the richest chocolate I ever had in my whole life) and although no lapses are present, the development is limited. The final paragraph clearly maintains the focus of the plot (We split the chocolate and put it in our backpacks, but the chocolate started to turn in it’s original shape of Mrs. Brown in our stomach. For a whole month we looked like Mrs. Brown That’s what was in the secret closet), and the conclusion is connected though still limited in development. There are nice details (January 19, 2006… unfamiliar closet…big sculpture of Mrs. Brown made of chocolate …richest chocolate…put in our backpacks…original shape…in our stomach…whole month) that are all relevant to the plot. The author has nice word choice (unfamiliar, sculpture, shoving, richest) and some sentence variety (When we were to tired of playing inside we decided to go outside, but we noticed an unfamiliar closet…We split the chocolate and put it in our backpacks, but the chocolate started to turn in it’s original shape of Mrs. Brown in our stomach). While what is present is good, the incomplete expansion of ideas in the story hinders the reader from getting a better sense of the person behind the words and keeps this response from receiving a higher score. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 2. COS 2 (high 2)

Pasco School District Fall Common Writing Assessment Grade 3 Scoring Papers, Page 8 of 17

Classroom Closet # 9 In your classroom, you notice there is a closet your teacher never opens. One day you open it. In several paragraphs, write a story telling what happens.

Intro In my class my teacher never opens the closet, so I tryed to open the closet T,D after school the closet was hard to open but I got it open. I saw gold, nice gold and beautiful rubys and peals. E,D I though I should take it but heared someone down the hall. It was my E,E,D teacher. She was walking fast, fast as she could, she heared somebody. It was E,E,D scary. I ran in circles trying to get out. I gathering gold some fell. My heart E,D started pounding. I tryed not to cry. I closed the door and I turned off the E,D lights. But I didn’t lock the door. She came in and started looking for D,E,E somebody. Then I cough and hert my throut, I said, “That hert.” She came were I was at. Concl My teacher found me, she told me parnets they got mad, and now lock-down; for the rest of the year. I tryed to tell my friend, but the didn’t listen. So now I don’t tell anyone.

This response demonstrates a sufficient ability to compose a narrative. This story has a clear beginning, middle, and end. The author has a clear plan and maintains focus on the plot even though the closing is extraneous (I tryed to tell my friend, but the didn’t listen. So now I don’t tell anyone), a lapse that is not uncommon in a 3. The response adequately describes the setting by using select and relevant details (In my class my teacher never opens the closet, so I tryed to open the closet after school the closet was hard to open but I got it open. I saw gold, nice gold and beautiful rubys and peals). In the second paragraph, the author provides the reader with action to develop and move the plot and to help paint a picture (She was walking fast, fast as she could, she heard somebody. It was scary. I ran in circles trying to get out. I gathering gold some fell. My heart started pounding. I tryed not to cry. I closed the door and I turned off the lights. But I didn’t lock the door. She came in and started looking for somebody. Then I cough and hert my throut, I said, “That hert.” She came were I was at). The events are connected not only to each other but also to the previous paragraph (gold) The final paragraph is not as developed as the previous two (My teacher found me, she told my parents they got mad, and now lock-down, for the rest of the year), another hallmark of a 3. The narrator describes how he/she thinks and feels throughout the story (I thought I should take it…It was scary…My heart started pounding. I tried not to cry…Then I cough and hert my throut, I said, “That hert.”) The inclusion of those feelings, combined with adequate word choice (gathering… pounding…lock-down…) and some sentence variety give the reader some sense of the person behind the words. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 3. COS 3 (low 3)

Pasco School District Fall Common Writing Assessment Grade 3 Scoring Papers, Page 9 of 17

# 10 Classroom Closet In your classroom, you notice there is a closet your teacher never opens. One day you open it. In several paragraphs, write a story telling what happens.

(no intro)

T/D When I opened the closet I see a whole bunch of candy, (I said to myself no wonder D,E,E She never opens the closet.) Suddenly I hear the door close. Oh no! “I’m Locked.” I D have to get out of here because the bell is going to ring. But As I go in closer I hear E,E something, there’s another door I open it There a pool! T/D,E Then there’s even more candy there’s everything you could imagen, It’s like whole D,D new world, But the thing is I’m still locked in here! Then I see my teacher in the pool! E,E,E Then I asked her what are you doing here? She told me she was taking a break. I told D,E, her you better like it here because we’re locked in, Then my teacher said, “Oh no we’re E,E locked in what are we going to do”? I know what to do “Um Um, we could try to kick E,D the door open but it didn’t work. So we had to think of something elese. Then Suddenly E my teacher dissapeared so I’m all alone. Well I thought and thought and then finally I E,D came up with something I can scream realy loud. So I went up to the door and E screamed as loud as I could. The I remebered everyone is still at ressese. Concl Soon after that I heard someone yelling my name. It was saying Sandy, Sandy, Sandy wake up. Soon it yelled so loud I woke up it was all just a dream. I was in my desk I had fallen asleep. Or do you think I was? The End

This response demonstrates a sufficient ability to compose a narrative. This piece of writing has a runaway opening (When I opened the closet I see a whole bunch of candy, [I said to myself no wonder she never opens the closet.]), a somewhat developed middle, and an clear ending that demonstrates a logical organizational pattern. Keeping with the runaway opening, the response adequately describes the setting by using details (Suddenly I hear the door close. Oh no! “I’m locked in.” I have to get out of here because the bell is going to ring. But As I go in closer I hear something, there’s another door I open it There a pool). In the second paragraph, the story continues to build upon and expand on the events from the first paragraph (Then there’s even more candy there’s everything you can imagen, It’s like a whole new world, But the thing is I’m still locked in here! Then I see my teacher in the pool! Then I asked her what are you doing here? She told me she was taking a break). The third paragraph continues revisiting the problem presented in the first paragraph (I told her you better like it here because we’re locked in, Then my teacher said “oh no we’re locked in what are we going to do?) and a brief attempt at solving the problem (I know what to do “Um, Um we could try to kick the door open but it didn’t work. So we had to think of something else). The final body paragraph presents a new problem (Then suddenly my teacher disappeared so I’m all alone) and shows the character problem-solving once again and encountering another problem (Well I thought and thought then finally I came up with something I can scream really loud. So I went up to the door and screamed as loud as I could. The I remebered everyone is still at ressese). The closing paragraph adequately concludes the story (Soon after that I heard somebody yelling my name. It was saying Sandy, Sandy, Sandy wake up. Soon it yelled so loud I woke up it was all just a dream. I was in my desk I had fallen asleep. Or do you thin I was?). Although the word choice is basic, the author uses adequate transitions (when… suddenly… so…well…soon..) to connect events and uses somewhat varied sentence structures and length to give the reader some sense of the person behind the words. The best- fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 3.

COS 3

Pasco School District Fall Common Writing Assessment Grade 3 Scoring Papers, Page 10 of 17

Classroom Closet In your classroom, you notice there is a closet your # 11 teacher never opens. One day you open it. In several paragraphs, write a story telling what happens.

Intro One day I went to class and there is a closet that my teacher Mrs. Court never T/D opens. I’ve always wondered what was in there, so that one day I looked and the closet E sucked me in with powerful force next thing I knew I was sitting next to Babe Ruth. T,D/E Then I knew what had happened, I was captured in a time traveling belt and went E back to 1949 and was with the greatest baseball players of all time. This turned out to better than I thought it would be T/D Now I could play with Joe Dimageo, Babe Ruth, and Lou Gherig all awesome hitters. D,E Babe Ruth asked me “Hey kid wanna play?” I responded “Sure” D,E Then Joe said “You wanna pitch kid?” I responded “Would I ever!” D,E,E Lou Gherig said “I call up’s!” I went to the pitchers mound. First I threw a E,E,E changeup then curve then a slider “3 strikes your out Lou” I said. I did the same with E Babe and Joe 3 strikes your out. T,D Then I was up and lamblasted a homer. They couldn’t beleive it. Concl Anyway after that there was a closet by the homerun fence I looked to see what it was, I opened it and went back to school. I was very happy!!!!! P.S. I got back in time for the WASL!

The response demonstrates a sufficient ability to compose a narrative. The composition has a logical organizational pattern with a beginning, middle, and end that maintains focus throughout the piece. The response adequately provides a descriptive opening that leads to the events of the story and uses appropriate word choices and details (One day I went to class and there is a closet that my teacher Mrs. Court never opens. I’ve always wondered what was in there, so that one day I looked and the closet sucked me in with a powerful force. Next thing I knew I was sitting next to Babe Ruth). The next paragraph stays focused on the events with more details and nice word choices (Then I knew what had happened, I was captured in a time traveling belt and went back to 1949 and was with the greatest baseball players of all time. This turned out better than I thought it would be. Now I could play with Joe Dimageo, Babe Ruth, and Lou Gherig all awesome hitters). The author continues to develop the story using dialogue (“Hey kid wanna play”…I call up’s”); the use of dialogue in the vernacular adds to the piece even though the development is a little thin. The response has a hurried ending (Anyway after that there was a closet by the homerun fence I looked to see what it was, I opened it and went back to school. I was very happy), something that is not uncommon in a 3. The response uses appropriate word choice (wondered…sucked me in with a powerful force…captured…time traveling belt…awesome…lamblasted…), adequate supporting details (Joe Dimageo, Babe Ruth, and Lou Gherig all awesome hitters…pitchers mound…a changeup, then curve, then slider), and transitions (one day…so…then now…first…anyway…) that aid in moving the story and engaging the reader. The dialogue and sentence variety provide the reader with a sense of the person behind the words. Overall, the best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 3.

COS 3

Pasco School District Fall Common Writing Assessment Grade 3 Scoring Papers, Page 11 of 17

Classroom Closet # 12 In your classroom, you notice there is a closet your teacher never opens. One day you open it. In several paragraphs, write a story telling what happens.

Intro One sunny day in Walnut, California, when I was staying after school for throwing spitballs with nothing to do. Then I noticed that Mr. Sands, my teacher, was gone so I T decided to do a little exporing in a closet that he never opens and saw nothing but darkness. D Wondering what was in there, I walked in carefully to see what I could see. E,E Then, all of a sudden, I was pushed in by a force on o platforms. When I tryed to leave the door is flaoting up and there is no way for me get back. E When I was there for about 30 seconds or so I saw a sign come down that says: Get to the pole in less than 2 minutes E Good Luck! D/E As soon as I got to the pole a sign popped up that said: Too bad you lose with 2 minutes 27 seconds. D/E Once I was back at the starting line, I was madder than a bear woken up during hibernation and I ran as fast as I could toward the pole. D/E Once I got back to the pole, another sign popped up that said: Congradrulations! E, E You win with 53 seconds. As soon as I was done reading, the door came down and I Concl walked in and I was back in the classroom. After that I promised never to talk about it again.

This response demonstrates a sufficient ability to compose a narrative. This piece of writing is focused with a clear beginning, middle, and end although the closing statement seems extraneous compared with the rest of the story (After that I promised never to talk about it again). The response begins with an interest-catching opening that draws the reader in by providing specific details to describe the setting and give characterization (One sunny day in Walnut, California, when I was staying after school for throwing spitballs with nothing to do. Then I noticed that Mr. Sands, my teacher, was gone to I decided to do a little exploring in a closet that he never opens and I saw nothing but darkness. Wondering what was in there, I walked in carefully to see what I could see). The author continues the story by providing some context that shows focus and organization (Then, all of a sudden, I was pushed in by a force on to platforms. When I tryed to leave the door is floating up and there is no way for me to get back). The story continues nicely with the character being presented with a task (I saw a sign come down that says: get to the pole in less than 2 minutes Good Luck) and failing to succeed (As soon as I got to the pole a sign popped up that said: Too bad you lose with 2 minutes 27 seconds). The piece continues with more characterization (Once I was back at the staring line, I was madder than a bear woken up during hibernation and I ran as fast as I could toward the pole). The conclusion ends the story nicely (Once I got back to the pole, another sign popped up that said: Congradrulations! You win with 53 seconds. As soon as I was done reading, the door came down and I walked in and I was back in the classroom). While the story remains focused and connected, the development is thin because even though the student adequately explains what happens before and after the runs, the student does not fully develop what is happening during the two runs. The strength of this piece is the use of word choice to convey the author’s ideas (sunny day…spitballs…exploring…wondering…carefully…madder than a bear woken up during hibernation). The piece uses good transitions to connect ideas and move the story (One sunny day…when… then… so… wondering…all of a sudden…as soon…once…after that…), and has sentences that are somewhat varied in length and structure. There are phrases that provide characterization (when I was staying after school for throwing spitballs…madder than a bear) that help the reader get some sense of the person behind the

words. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 3. COS 3 Pasco School District Fall Common Writing Assessment Grade 3 Scoring Papers, Page 12 of 17

Classroom Closet # 13 In your classroom, you notice there is a closet your teacher never opens. One day you open it. In several paragraphs, write a story telling what happens.

Intro One sunny afternoon at Hoffelt School a teacher named Mrs. Crumb had a classroom with 22 students in it. T,D Two of the students names were Misty and McKenna. They were wondering why E Mrs. Crumb had a closet that she never opened. It was gray with a scary door handle. E,D,D The doorhandle had a scary shaped mummy on it. She had no other gray closet. Maby she Just opens it when were not in the classroom Misty thought to herself. T,D McKenna piped up “Maby we should go ask Mrs. Crumb.” “Should we” asked Misty?” E,E “Shure” said McKenna. So they went and asked Mrs. Crumb. “Mrs. Crumb why dont you E,E ever open your gray closet” asked McKenna?” “I dont know whats in it” she said. “Some E,E people say its haunted.” “I’m to scared to.” “Every night when Im in here I hear it D scream” she said. “It also has a symble of a mummy on it.” T,D,E The other kids in our class heard about it. So they ran to the closet. A boy in our class tryed to open the door of the closet! E Locked! T,D,E We heard a scream from the closet. I stared at McKenna “why did you scream”? “I E dident” said McKenna. Mrs. Crumb said it was the closet. T/D Another boy in my class ran over to the closet and gave it a hard tug and the door E flew open. We were horified! T,D The kid tha opened the closet door started digging digging through it! The closet D had spider webs hanging from every wich way! We found out that the screaming came from a scream detector in the closet. Concl Everything was safe! Did you ever have a teacher that dident open one of her closets? Well if you dident I did.

This response demonstrates a sufficient ability to compose a narrative. This story focuses on the classroom closet and begins with a detailed opening (One sunny afternoon at Hoffelt school a teacher named Mrs. Crumb had a classroom with 22 students in it) and closes with an ending that adequately ties the story together (Everything was safe! Did you ever have a teacher that dident open one of her closets? Well if you dident I did). Organization and planning are evident in the logical development of events and supporting details (They were wondering why Mrs. Crumb had a closet that she never opened. It was gray with a scary door handle. The door handle had a scary shaped mummy on it…We heard a scream from the closet…Mrs. Crumb said it was the closet. Another boy in my class ran over to the closet and gave it a hard tug and the door flew open. We were horified! The kid tha opened the closet started digging digging through it. The closet had spider webs hanging from every wich way! We found out that the screaming came from a scream detector in the closet). The dialogue is handled well by the student and helps to move the story, the action words (piped up… ran over… stared at… gave it a hard tug.. the door flew open…started digging…) aid in engaging the reader. Transitions are minimal but the student’s use of dialogue, sentence variety, and appropriate word choice keep the story connected and give a sense of wholeness and completeness. The response gives the reader a sense of the person behind the words. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 3.

COS 3 (high 3)

Pasco School District Fall Common Writing Assessment Grade 3 Scoring Papers, Page 13 of 17

Classroom Closet # 14 In your classroom, you notice there is a closet your teacher never opens. One day you open it. In several paragraphs, write a story telling what happens.

Intro “Hello”! Is anybody here! Where could my teacher be. I thought. Today was Thursday and I always help her with jobs after school like sharpining pencils and taking librarey books back to the librarey. I looked all around the room but there was no sighn of Mrs. Bard. T,D I was going to sharpen the penciles but I saw the closet. It was the closet in the classroom. E,E,D,E Mrs. Bard said it was an antique. She never opened it. Then I grinned a real big grin. I was going to see what was in the closet. E,E I was going to open the closet but then I saw a note on the ground it said Dear Angie if you E are here whatever you do, do not open the closet! I can not tell you why but you will have to E trust me. Sincerly, Mrs. Bard T I wanted to find out why she was not in the classroom and why I could not go into the closet. D,E,E I was going to see what was in the closet. I stepped forward and then stopped. I took a good E,E look at the closet. It was light brown with angles carved on it. I took a deep breath and opened D,E,E the closet door. Then I walked slowley inside the closet. I screamed I was falling through a black hole! T,D,D I lended in mud. There goes my new pants I sighied. Everywhere there were trools. The E,D,D trolls were seated in benches. I heard a cry for help. A big trool walked up by the minster. E,E,D The big troll had hair everywhere. Including his armpits. Then a little boy troll with a pillow E,E and a ring walked in front of the big trool. It was a wedding! Two little troll girls were skipping E,E and throwing weeds. Right behind them was Mrs. Bard! She was wearing a very ugly black E,E,E,E dress. I looked at her and she saw me. She whispered Angie leave! Save yourself! I wasn’t E going to leave Mrs. Bard with those ugly trolls. Right when the minster said do you take this D,E beautiful women as your wife. I got an idea. I found a vine and then the minster said you may E/E no kiss the bride. I swung over to the wedding cermony and grabbed Mrs. Bard I swng so high E in the air my feet touched the closet floor. We both got back in the classroom. Mrs. Bard said Concl thank you so much Angie you saved my life! I said your welcome. Mrs. Bard whispered lets never speak of this again. I whispered back to her fine with me!

This response demonstrates a strong ability to compose a narrative. The story is focused on what is in the classroom closet. It has an introduction that lures the reader in and provides context (“Hello”! Is anybody here! Where could my teacher be. I thought. Today was Thursday and I always help her with jobs after school like sharpining pencils and taking librarey books back to the librarey) and a closing that connects with and sums up the story (Mrs. Bard said thank you so much Angie you saved my life! I said your welcome. Mrs. Bard whispered lets never speak of this again. I whispered back to her fine with me). The organizational pattern is evident through the logical flow of events from how the character came to the closet (I was going to open the closet but then I saw a note on the ground it said Dear Angie if you are here whatever you do, do not open the closet! I can not tell you why but you will have to trust me. Sincerly, Mrs. Bard), how the character entered the closet (I walked slowly inside the closet. I screamed I was falling through a black hole! I landed in mud), and what the character found in the closet (Everywhere there were trools…It was a wedding!”). The student fully elaborates upon each event as it happens and uses specific details (It was light brown with angles carved on it…The big troll had hair everywhere. Including his armpits…Two little troll girls were skipping and throwing weeds…She was wearing a very ugly black dress) with varied sentence lengths and structures that move the story and paint a complete picture in the mind of the reader. The paper uses characterization (I always help her with jobs…Then I grinned a real big grin…I took a breath and opened the closet door…I landed in mud. There goes my new pants I sighed…I wasn’t going to leave Mrs. Bard with those ugly trolls) to provide the reader with a sense of the person behind the words. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 4. COS 4 (low 4) Pasco School District Fall Common Writing Assessment Grade 3 Scoring Papers, Page 14 of 17

Classroom Closet # 15 In your classroom, you notice there is a closet your teacher never opens. One day you open it. In several paragraphs, write a story telling what happens.

Intro One day when I was getting a drink of water at the waterfountain I saw a big closet by the classroom door. Then I walked up to the big closet and looked at it and Mrs. Roy came up to me and said “younge lady what do you think you are doing”! I was just looking at your big closet cried Allison. T Then to that day on Allison never stared, looked, or even glanced at the big closet D,T/D again, she was afraid Mrs. Roy would yell at her for looking at the big closet. Then later on that night Allison called her best friend, Carrie Walls to ask her if she could come over because Allison wanted to see if Carrie ever noticed that Mrs. Roy never E opened the big new closet. Carrie replied “No I havn’t noticed that Mrs. Roy hasn’t opened the closet. T The next day when Allison was at school she was thinking of a way she could open the D/E big closet and see what was inside of it. Then she figured out a way that she could E open the closet, but she was going to need her friends to help her out. So that evening she called up Carrie, Ashley, Joey, and Matt to help her and they all said, “Yes!, they D would help Allison see what was inside the closet.” That night they came over to E Allison’s house and started making a plan for tomorrow night. Allison, thought of E something amazingly outrageous. She would use a trampoline to jump through a open E/E window in the school. If that didn’t work she was going to take a ladder and climb on top of the school and make a hole in the roof and when she got inside she would turn off the alarm and go to her teacher’s classroom and see what was inside of the closet. E/E It was a good thing she had a spair key to the classroom and she knew the code to get into the classroom. T The next day was the day that Allison was going to sneak into the school at night D/E with her friends. At recess they went to the picnic table and reveiwed the plan one E more time before they did the real thing that night (Just in case they didn’t mess up because that is their only chance to see what was inside the closet). T,D Friday April 28, 2006 1:00 am day of the hiest. Allison and her friends are outside of the school setting up the trampoline up in front of a open window on the second D,E,E floor. “Who wants to go first asked Allison”. Joey answered “I will.” Then Joey E jumped on the trampoline and through the window he went. Then he poked his head out of the window and said “Who’s next”? T When we all got in the school I had to turn off the alarm so nobody knows we’re D here. Then Allison and her friends went to the classroom and Allison put the password E in and put the key in the keyhole and the door opened. Then Allison took the key out of E the keyhole and put it in the closet keyhole and the door creeked open and when it was E all the way open Allison found that the whole closet was full of candy. Allison just stared and looked at all of the wonderful types of candy jolly ranchers, suckers, E chocolate hershey bars, and more. Then Allison and her friends filled their pockets Concl with candy and snuck right out of the building with the trampoline and went home and ate all of the candy that they could eat. The End Pasco School District Fall Common Writing Assessment Grade 3 Scoring Papers, Page 15 of 17

This response demonstrates a strong ability to compose a narrative. The strength of this paper is that it maintains a tight focus on the events (Then she figured out a way that she could open the closet, but she was going to need her friends to help her out…That night they came over to Allison’s house and started making a plan for tomorrow night…At recess they went to the picnic table and reviewed the plan one more time before they did the real thing…Allison and her friends are outside of the school setting the trampoline up in front of an open window on the second floor…Then Allison and her friends went to the classroom and Allison put the password in and put the key in the keyhole and the door opened), even though the ending feels a bit anticlimactic and listed (Allison just stared an looked at all the wonderful types of candy jolly ranchers, suckers, chocolate hershey bars, and more. Then Allison and her friends filled their pockets with candy and snuck right out of the building with the trampoline and went home and ate all of the candy that they could eat). The story is chronicled in a logical sequence of events, each supported with layered details that are select, relevant, and don’t leave many unanswered questions in the reader’s mind (use a trampoline…turn off the alarm…had a spair key…she knew the code…reviewed the plan one more time…Friday April 28, 2006 1:00 am day of the hiest). The high level of elaboration maintained throughout the story and transitions used to connect the ideas provide the story with a sense of wholeness and completeness. Sentence variety combined with appropriate word choice further complement the writing and helps provide the reader with a sense of the person behind the words. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 4.

COS 4

Pasco School District Fall Common Writing Assessment Grade 3 Scoring Papers, Page 16 of 17

Classroom Closet # 16 In your classroom, you notice there is a closet your teacher never opens. One day you open it. In several paragraphs, write a story telling what happens.

Intro “Are you listening Holly?” Mrs. Horn asked. “I was just thinking,” I said. My name is Holly and I have one friend at school. Lets not get into that now. My teacher Mrs. Horn is very nice, but I’ve always been wondering whats in that closet? In case your wondering my teacher has three closets and one of them she has never opened. Tonight I was planning to sneak into the school and see what the teacher was hiding in there.

T,D,D The bell rang. “Home free!” Somebody had shouted. I ran down the hall, unlocked my D bike, and was off like a rocket. When I got home I droped my books inside and waited D/E until six o’clock. Then I was off to the school and when I got there it was so quiet, you could hear the slightest pin drop.

T,D,E I had to find the classroom, fast! I looked for my class number, and found it. I looked D inside to make sure the teacher wasn’t there. Then I opened the sqeaky window bit, by E,E bit. Next I crawled through, sly and sleek as a cat. “Wow,” I whispered to myself, E.E “I’m actually in the school!” I crep to the closet and . . . I opened the closet. Inside E was my sleeping teacher, two puppys, and three darling kittens. The first puppy was a E.E black lab, and the other was a smoyed. The kittens looked like a rare delicacy. They were all different colors, each one had brownish-gold, black, white, and tan in blotches D.E on their fur. Then my teacher woke up and looked very surprised to see me. “Hi,” I E.E said shy-like. Then she changed her expression and smiled, gave me one of the sleeping kittens in a basket, and told me to go home.

Concl I rode my bike delicatly for the kitten. When I got home my mom said, “where have you been, and where did you get that kitten? We allready have two!” In the end I told her that I found the kitten on the street, and we kept her!

This response demonstrates a strong ability to compose a narrative. This paper has an introduction that reflects voice and reader awareness (“Are you listening Holly?” Mrs. Horn asked. “I was just thinking.” I said. My name is Holly and I have one friend at school. Lets not get into that now. My teacher Mrs. Horn is very nice, but I’ve always been wondering whats in that closet? In case your wondering my teacher has three closets and one of them she has never opened. Tonight I was planning to sneak into the school and see what the teacher was hiding in there) and an ending that concludes the story (I rode my bike delicatly for the kitten. When I got home my mom said, “Where have you been, and where did you get that kitten? We allready have two!” In the end I told her that I found the kitten on the street, and we kept her). The student remains focused on the events and uses engaging word choices (you could hear the slightest pin drop…opened the squeaky window bit, by bit… sly and sleek as a cat…I crep to the closet…the kittens looked like a rare delicacy…”Hi,” I said shy-like…rode my bike delicatly…) that provide the reader ample indication of the person behind the words. The cohesiveness and completeness of the story are aided by the believable dialogue and the variety of sentence lengths and structures. The best-fit Content, Organization, and Style score for this piece of writing is a 4.

COS 4

Pasco School District Fall Common Writing Assessment Grade 3 Scoring Papers, Page 17 of 17