Essay p17 Arts p20 Magazine p14 Chinua Achebe on “Bring back the porn and V Good versus V Bad. his British-infl uenced pickled sharks.” A lament This week, Her Maj’s education on the Turner Prize presence on Facebook gets a thumbs up

FRIDAY 12TH NOVEMBER 2010 THE INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER SINCE 1947 ISSUE NO 729 | VARSITY.CO.UK

JU SHARDLOW/BILL PAUL ROUSSEAU Burglar caught Cambridge students by student storm London KIRSTY GRAY A 30-year-old male was arrested last on at the gathering crowds outside weekend in St John’s when a stu- NATASHA PESARAN the building, were quickly evacuated dent caught him trying to steal from Students from the University of once students began smashing win- unlocked rooms. Cambridge clashed with police at dows with sticks and rocks. The intruder had to be forcibly Conservative Party headquar- A line of approximately 20 police- restrained with the assistance of a ters in London, after a national men formed to defend the building, porter and another passing under- demonstration against university but were unable to prevent the graduate until police arrived. funding cuts and fees turned violent hundreds of students from surging The incident took place at 7.30am on Wednesday. forward into the foyer. on 30th October after the student Nearly 400 Cambridge students Protestors occupied the building recognised his trainers in the hands took part in the march through for around an hour, during which of an unfamiliar man passing him on central London, which saw tens of time crowds of students gathered the stairwell. thousands of students from around in the courtyard outside. Protestors When challenged, the accused the country descending on the capi- smashed windows, waved anarchist thief made a flustered dash to tal to demonstrate their anger at the fl ags and hurled eggs and bottles at escape but the student was able to government’s plans to increase tuition the police, amidst chants of “Tory pursue and grab him before he was fees and cut university funding. scum”. successful. However the protest turned vio- Demonstrators outside the build- St John’s have been quick to lent as protestors, including dozens ing also set fire to placards and defend the security of the College, of Cambridge students from Sidney burned effi gies of Nick Clegg and claiming that the trespasser was of Sussex, Trinity Hall and King’s, David Cameron, with one protestor student age so did not stand out. stormed the Tory headquarters at 30 shouting, “Nick Clegg, we know you, “The level of security is as high a Millbank, resulting in a standoff with you’re a fucking Tory too.” standard as can be achieved,” Head police who attempted to clear the A group of some 30 protestors, Porter Paul Doxey informed Var- area by force, armed with batons. amongst whom were a number of sity. “The students are reminded The demonstration, which began students from Cambridge, climbed throughout the year that they are as a peaceful march from Trafalgar up onto the roof of the building and, responsible for the individual secu- Square and along Embankment on to waving fl ags, shouted encourage- rity of their room,” he said. a rallying point past Millbank, where ment to the crowds below. Advice to “never try to tackle a speeches were to be held, was seem- One English student who made burglar yourself”, contained in the St ingly hijacked by a small wing of it onto the roof commented, “It was John’s Freshers’ Guide may need to activists intent on making trouble. amazing, looking down and seeing be reassessed, given the manner in One Cambridge student who took this mass of people below. There was which this burglary was prevented. part in the Millbank occupation told a massive cheer from the crowd when Police assured Varsity that Varsity, “As we approached Mill- they saw us up there. although the potential criminal has bank, a row of socialists holding two “Most of the people there, like me, been granted bail, he will be charged banners stopped the crowd. People were just normal students, not hard- in court and is known to police. went round shouting to the crowd, core activists at all. I hadn’t expected St John’s receives thousands of pointing out to us that this was Con- the demonstration to turn out like tourists each year, which means that servative headquarters.” that. There was such feeling and it is easy for potential burglars to “Then a bunch of students in bala- excitement; you just get caught up gain access to student rooms. clavas and hoods ripped signs off their in it all.” “It’s surprising that someone man- wooden posts and started smacking A fi re-extinguisher was thrown aged to get into an accommodation the glass with them. Someone broke from the building, which missed hit- block at that time of day,” a St John’s through the glass and people were ting people standing below by inches. historian told Varsity. “But porters banging at the doors.” 14 people were taken to hospital as a are not that diligent in checking Offi ce workers, who had looked result of injuries. CONTINUED ON PAGE 6 University cards.”

Student catches Trinity’s wine cellar Student activism on Police arrest student News Interview: Fred Protests p6 bicycle thief valued at £1.7m the rise at the ADC bar Pearce The An incident of bicycle theft at A recent freedom of informa- With the prospect of tuition Four police cars came to the Noted environmental jour- Cambridge the Sidgwick Site was foiled tion request has revealed that fee increases and cuts in uni- ADC on Wednesday night, nalist Fred Pearce has been Presence: by a student who caught the Trinity College’s famed wine versity spending, Cambridge after a student threatened described as the one of the thief red-handed. The inci- collection is worth £1.7 million, students have taken to the patrons and bar staff with fi nest science writers in the A report dent has highlighted the making it twice as valuable as streets to register their anger. physical and verbal abuse. country. Varsity sits down sharp increase in bicycle the government’s collection. Varsity looks at four demon- The student, who studies with him to discuss climate theft, which has made Cam- The cellar contains over 25,000 stration and protest events MML, was handcuffed and change, overpopulation, and 45 > bridge the “bike theft capital bottles, including many rare that have brought students restrained in the foyer before other matters of environ- of the UK”. ❯❯ p3 wines. ❯❯ p3 out to the streets. ❯❯ p4 being arrested. ❯❯ p8 mental concern. ❯❯ p10 9 771758 444002 12th November 2010 Something to say? 2 EDITORIAL www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]

Online this week

Established in 1947 COLUMNISTS Issue No 729 Including Ed Herring’s Old Examination Hall, Free School Lane, Cambridge, CB2 3RF theatre blog and Robin Telephone: 01223 337575 Fax: 01223 760949 Jack’s gaming blog.

NEWS Thorough coverage of the week’s main stories. Correction: Sexual assault investigation ast week, Varsity printed an investigation into sexual is evidence of the value of reporting similar attacks to the assault within the University. Accompanying this appropriate authorities. SPORT Linvestigation was an anonymous account from an Furthermore, the individual involved was able to move individual who had been sexually assaulted. The account on from the experience and no longer feels like a victim. Sports Comment, printed by Varsity neglected to mention the important Varsity is keen to remind its readers that pressing charges plus a look at how the rugby boys are fact that the perpetrator in this incident was convicted and and seeking help after sexual assault can result in successful shaping up for the imprisoned for the attack. This was a direct result of the convictions and support, as evidenced by the fi rst-person Varsity match. individual involved reporting the incident to the police and account mentioned above. Protests he Liberal Democrats are not the fi rst party to lie the peaceful protests in London on Wednesday have suc- about their policy on tuition fees. Labour promised not ceeded in expressing the diasappointment felt by much of Tto introduce tuition fees in 1997, and promised not to the student population in reaction to the government’s plans increase them in 2001. Both those promises were broken, and and Nick Clegg’s U-turn on the issue. Inside this week now the Liberal Democrats have broken theirs. It is a pro- It is a great shame that Wednesday’s march has been found failure of democracy that a party should win votes on overshadowed by the irresponsible and criminal action the condition that they campaign against a particular policy carried out by a minority group of protestors. Varsity joins and then fail to block that policy when they have the chance. CUSU and the NUS in condemning the violent action that ARTS It is a further failure of our democratic system that we cannot has undermined the integrity of the opposition movement. stop the government from implementing these changes. The cuts to funding in higher education are a complex The demise of porn and pickled sharks The coalition government will not reverse their decision and delicate economic and ideological issue that must be in contemporary to raise tuition fees and it seems unlikely that any amount engaged with both eloquently and sincerely. Wednesday’s British Art. of protesting will make them change their minds. However, violence was inarticulate and ineffectual. MAGAZINE MAKE A Quote Unquote: witticisms from the Edit this paper (or sections herein) DIFFERENCE! mouths of the famous. Join a stimulating, home- based plan for our 16-year- Applications are invited to edit and section edit Varsity in Lent 2011. old, mildy autistic daughter, based on the ‘son-rise’ Application forms are available for download from varsity.co.uk/jobs programme. We would like to ask you to work for 4-6 hours a week The deadline for editorial applications for six months. is Monday 15th November. No experience needed; full training given. THEATRE £6 an hour. The deadline for section editor Make the call: Tel: 01223 248622 The highs and the lows Make a difference! applications is Monday 22nd from this week’s theatre. November. IF YOU ARE CALLED

Any student is encouraged to apply. TOM No experience is necessary. JOIN OVER 100 OF YOUR COMMENT If you have any questions, please NAMESAKES AT THE FIRST EVER Rhys Treharne on the SAME-FIRST-NAME-ONLY ineffectiveness of the email the current editor, CHARITY DINNER ‘angry mob’ approach to Joe Pitt-Rashid, on IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD protesting. To take part in this extraordinary event, please email your name [email protected]. and college to [email protected] Numbers of Toms are strictly limited. Toms only. Very exclusive. All Toms welcome. The Toms Formal Hall will be held at Sidney Sussex College Hall on 3rd February 2011. Tickets £20. Proceeds to go to a charity determined by voting on the night. Dress: Black Tie.

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EDITOR Joe Pitt-Rashid [email protected] ASSOCIATE EDITORS Helen Mackreath & Lara Prendergast [email protected] ONLINE EDITOR David Rosenberg [email protected] DEPUTY ONLINE EDITOR Leonie Get involved James [email protected] NEWS EDITOR Osama Siddiqui [email protected] DEPUTY NEWS EDITORS Olivia Crellin & Natasha Pesaran [email protected] COMMENT EDITORS Jamie Pollock & Rhys Treharne [email protected] MAGAZINE EDITORS Alice Hancock & Charlotte Wu [email protected] SPORT EDITOR Alex Kennedy [email protected] FEATURES EDITOR Lydia Onyett [email protected] ARTS If you would like to fi nd out how EDITORS Eliot D’Silva & Zeljka Marosevic [email protected] THEATRE EDITOR Edward Herring [email protected] REVIEWS & LISTINGS EDITORS Julia Lichnova & David Shone [email protected] FASHION to write for Varsity, come to one EDITORS Louise Benson, Jess Kwong & Pete Morelli [email protected] SATIRE EDITORS Alex Owen & Ben Ashenden [email protected] of our weekly meetings. SENIOR REPORTERS Jane Ashford-Thom, Elizabeth Bateman, Cathy Bueker, Jemma Trainor & Jessie Waldman [email protected] THEATRE CRITICS Michael Christie, Siobhan Forshaw, Helen Young, Matt Russell & Laura Peatman [email protected] FOOD & DRINK CRITICS Lettice Franklin & Alex Lass [email protected] MUSIC CRITICS Nathan Arnott-Davies, Ellie Brindle, Sam Gould & Katya Herman News: Monday 3.30pm, Pem- [email protected] FILM CRITIC Alice Bolland fi [email protected] VISUAL ARTS CRITIC Yates Norton [email protected] LITERARY CRITIC Sophie Peacock [email protected] broke College Bar PRODUCTION MANAGER Hugo Gye [email protected] SUB-EDITORS Jonny Aldridge, Olivia Anness, Henry Drummond, Donald Futers, Angela Scarsbrook, Charlotte Sewell & Leonie Taylor [email protected] BUSINESS & ADVERTISING MANAGER Michael Derringer [email protected] BOARD OF DIRECTORS Dr Michael Franklin (Chair), Prof. Peter Robinson, Dr Tim Harris, Mr Chris Wright, Mr Michael Derringer, Mr Magazine: Wednesday 5pm, The Hugo Gye (VarSoc President), Mr Laurie Tuffrey, Mr Paul Smith, Miss Avantika Chilkoti, Miss Helen Mackreath & Mr Josef Pitt-Rashid Maypole (Portugal Place) For VarsiTV enquiries: [email protected] Alternatively, email the relevant NEWSPAPERS SUPPORT Varsity, Old Examination Hall, Free School Lane, Cambridge CB2 3RF. 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ISSN 1758-4442 newspapers in 2008 NEWSPAPERS SUPPORT RECYCLING News team: Osama Siddiqui, Olivia Crellin & Natasha Pesaran 12th November 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk NewS 3 Trinity boasts Bike theft on the rise in Cambridge £1.7 million samantha sharman SAMANTHA SHARMAN lock their bikes securely, adding, “It seems simple and it is obvious, Bicycle thieves have been caught yet so many people leave their bike wine cellar red-handed by Cambridge students unlocked or very poorly secured.” over the last few weeks, highlight- A graduate who lives in the city TRISTAN dUNN ing the high number of incidents of centre was woken a few days ago bicycle theft in the town. to hear “metallic noises” on his Trinity College has revealed that its A thief was caught attempting to footpath. wine collection is worth £1.67 million steal a bicycle last week by a stu- He looked out of his window to see in a recent Freedom of Information dent at the Sidgwick Site, an area that a hooded young man, around request. which has become the target of bicy- 20 years old, had broken one bicy- The College, which has the largest cle thefts in recent weeks. cle lock and was struggling to break financial endowment of any Oxbridge The thief was stopped by a Modern another. The man fled when the stu- college, said their collection com- Languages graduate, but managed dent shouted from his room. prises more than 25,000 bottles. to flee the scene before he could be “I guess there is a large and The findings mean that Trinity’s detained. The brown bicycle was organised bike thieving group of wine cellar is worth almost twice as recovered but is yet to be claimed. people in Cambridge,” he said. “You much as the government’s collection, The Cambridgeshire Cycle Proj- can see them wandering about the which was valued at £870,000 during ects Team believes that the surge town in daylight, checking for the the summer. in bicycle thefts at this time of year best bikes.” Trinity’s wine cellar is, however, is because of the intake of new stu- The police are working hard with worth less than the royal wine col- dents with new bicycles, who are several organisations to reduce lection, which is reputedly worth in unaware of the dangers. cycle theft, which now makes up excess of £2 million. According to the Cambridgeshire more than ten per cent of recorded Paul Simm, Wine Steward for Trin- Constabulary, around 2,500 bicy- crime, according to the Cambridge ity College, informed Varsity that cles were stolen in Cambridge Cycling Campaign. the College has been storing wine in itself in between September 2008 “The era of bikes against a wall the cellars for centuries and that cur- and August 2009, an eight per cent must be ended by 2020,” the Cam- rently their oldest bottles date back increase from the previous year. paign states. to 1947. Cambridge was also named as the Campaigns are being conducted He added that one of many high- UK’s bicycle theft capital in a report to highlight the problems facing stu- lights of the College’s wine collection published by the Cambridgeshire dents and to set up a greater number Bike theft makes up ten per cent of all recorded crime is a 1978 Hermitage La Chapelle. Community Safety Partnership. of cycle stands, especially in busy Each one of these bottles is currently Sergeant Gordon Morgenthaler of areas such as Sainsbury’s. which registers property to aid the Cambridge has the highest rate of valued at £650. the Cambridgeshire Constabulary The Cambridgeshire Constabu- return of stolen items. cycle usage in the country, accord- Bottles from the wine cellar are told Varsity, “The theft of cycles in lary annually recover 700-800 stolen However, a spokesman for the ing to the Cambridge Community usually reserved for the Fellows and Cambridgeshire is a real issue for bicycles; in order to increase this Cambridge Cycle Projects Team Safety Report, with 26 per cent of guests of the College. However, Mr many people who live, work or study number they are encouraging stu- believes that the high levels of journeys being taken on bicycles Simm commented, “Students drink in our county.” dents and residents to sign up their theft are merely proportional to the compared with the national average the same wine as the Fellows when He also encouraged people to bicycles with Immobilise, a company high numbers of bicycle journeys. of 2.8 per cent. they are guests of the College at the Matriculation and Graduation Dinners, as do those invited to the Commemoration Feast and the Rice Archaeology museum closed Exchange Dinner.” Don advised benefit cheating, says Speaking to Varsity, Alex Hurst, for major renovation former Caius employee a third-year Trinity undergraduate andrew griffin said he had tasted the College’s wine on a number of occasions. He said JEMMA TRAINOR She also added that he would not that he was “not surprised” by the provide any further information high valuation of the wine collection. A former employee of Gonville & about this person, and it seems that “Trinity’s wine stock is legendary Caius College has said that he was nothing else is known about him or and the quality of wine served during following the advice of a Cambridge her. Matriculation dinner and College don in unlawfully claiming over The Domestic Bursar of Caius, Mr feasts bears weight to that,” he said. £37,000 in benefits. Alan Jermy, told Varsity that they Hurst also described a vintage 1963 Patrick Power, aged 54, man- were advised that the claim was Port, which he was fortunate enough aged to avoid a custodial sentence against “a superior” at the College to taste a couple of years ago during from Cambridge Crown Court after rather than a Fellow. Formal Hall, as “amazing”. pleading guilty to ten counts of false In any case, Mr Jermy added that Despite the high value of the wine representation and one count of Power’s “reluctance to give further collection, Varsity is informed that failing to notify a change in circum- details tends to suggest that the Trinity does not purchase wine for stances between January 1997 and allegation would not stand up to investment purposes. All wine is January 2007. The prosecution was investigation; a view clearly held by acquired for College entertainment brought against him by the Cam- the court that convicted him”. events. bridge City Council. He also added that, “As Mr Other large wine cellars include Power had been unlawfully claim- Power is not a member of staff, his that of Churchill College. Churchill ing both housing and council tax behaviour is not something we can holds 25,652 bottles of wine in its benefits worth more than £3,000 per comment on”. cellar alongside 2,500 fortified wines value, including an unparalleled col- annum from Cambridge City Coun- Recorder Martin Oldham handed and spirits. GEMMA-CLAIRE ALI lection of 30,000 Pacific artefacts. cil. At the time he was in receipt of an down an eight-month prison sen- Jesus College holds a collection of The University of Cambridge’s The £1.8 million redevelopment incapacity pension worth £780-per- tence for Power as well as ordering 41 bottles of Château Latour 1982, Museum of Archaeology and project aims to modernise the build- month from Caius College, which he him to pay £250 towards the £2,397 bought for around £40 each. Each of Anthropology closed its doors to the ings, update tired displays, and failed to declare to the authorities in costs incurred by the Council. these bottles is now worth £1,750. public for a long winter on Saturday improve museum access. Nicho- order to ensure that his benefit pay- He said to Power, “You ought to be 6th November. Before reopening in las Thomas, museum director, has ments would continue. ashamed of yourself. When you walk late summer 2011, the museum will described the venture as “the muse- After retiring from his position in around Cambridge and see people benefit from an ambitious £1.8m um’s most ambitious transformation the College food shop in 1996, Power at bus-stops, you will see the people programme of modernisation and in decades.” failed to notify the relevant authori- that you have fiddled. It is everyone redevelopment. Plans include opening up the ties of the incapacity pension on 11 in this court who has been fiddled – 52 Trumpington Street The Museum of Archaeology and ground-floor gallery, and redesign- separate occasions. The Cambridge taxpayers, Council taxpayers, you Cambridge CB2 1RG Anthropology was established in ing the building to let in more light. Crown Court was told that he appro- have been ripping them off.” 1884, following a surge of research Museum staff hope that the project priated a total of £37,548 in undue In a statement published on their FREE CHELSEA BUN interest in the modern human sci- will create more space for archae- benefits over a period of ten years. website, a representative from Cam- With every purchase over £2.00 in the shop ences. The foundation stone of the ological display, enabling some Powers claimed that he had been bridge City Council assured people OR current building was laid in 1910 exceptional collections to be publicly persuaded to begin the benefit fraud that Power would have to repay the after the collection outgrew its ini- viewed for the first time. by the advice of a Fellow from the money he had unlawfully gained. FREE MORNING tial space. Since then, the museum Although the museum maintains College, whom he refused to name. “[We] can re-assure the tax payers COFFEE/TEA has accumulated a world-class col- its firm grounding in research and Elizabeth White of the Prosecu- of Cambridge that... we already have (9am-12pm) lection of Oceanic, Asian, African teaching, it has become a public tion stated that “[Powers] says he in place a robust arrangement to get With any cake or pastry in the restaurant and Native American art. It now institution, welcoming families, the was told by a Fellow at the College this money back from Mr Power. on presentation of this voucher houses more than 800,000 objects of Cambridge community, and visitors not to report the payments because The community can rest assured and proof of student status outstanding research and historical to the city. it was all part of the system.” that this money will be repaid.” 4 12th november 2010 news team: osama Siddiqui, oliva crellin & natasha pesaran newS www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] Student activism on the rise cambridge students are making themselves heard in increasing numbers to protest tuition fee increases and cuts in higher education spending

helen mackreath protests against the education cuts jobs within the University of Cam- Since the Vodafone store is situ- and fees.” bridge, everyone who’s involved in ated inside the privately-owned An unprecedented wave of stu- However, official police reports higher education who believes that Grand Arcade, security guards soon dent activism is sweeping through place the number of protestors who this is wrong, need to be out on notified the police, who told pro- Cambridge, with many students stayed for speeches at only 200. the street and getting their voice testors to leave or face arrest for taking part in a number of protests Some students present at the heard.” trespassing. and demonstrations in the last few protest decried the apathy of the He added, “Don’t sit in the warm, A third-year Philosophy student weeks. majority of the student population, let’s get out, get wet, get friendly at King’s, who wished to remain Anger has been directed at gov- with one Clare student disappointed and get the message across.” anonymous, told Varsity, “We were ernment proposals to cut higher with attitudes: “People were like Juan Zober de Francisco, a third- demonstrating to say that the Gov- education spending and the raising ‘yeah, I care but I’ve got to work’, or year student at King’s, conceded ernment should be coming down of the cap on tuition fees to £9,000. ‘I need to pass my degree’, and it’s that “a couple of people came just hard on corporations like Vodafone With the violent turn of the like, well people aren’t even going to because they like being radical as opposed to making cuts that hit National Union of Students (NUS) be going to university if these cuts and they try to champion socialist the poor and the vulnerable.” demonstrations in London on go through.” things,” but added that “there are a Wednesday, in which Cambridge Other students urged for more rad- lot of students here who don’t agree students participated, student activ- ical action to be taken in response to with that.” “Don’t sit in the ism has taken on greater importance the cuts and rise in fees, telling Var- Other events happening in Cam- and increased national scrutiny. sity: “We need a bit more militancy. bridge, disconnected from the warm. Let’s get out, The past week alone has seen We need a bit more than just writing higher education debate, suggest three student-run demonstrations, to MPs and things like that. Whether that student activism is on the rise. get wet, get friendly with a fourth, held in conjunction we’re at the stage of burning things Last Saturday, students were with trades unions, held on 23rd down yet, I’m not quite sure but mili- among 35 activists who occupied and get the message October. tancy’s not a bad thing.” and forced closure of the Vodafone The protests have attracted a outlet in the Grand Arcade. across” varying degree of support from The demonstration was organised Cambridge students. “We need a bit more by the Cambridge Action Network Last Friday, the Cambridge Uni- (CAN) as part of a nationwide pro- He added, “The people we spoke versity Students Union (CUSU) militancy. We need test against Vodafone’s alleged £6 to were highly supportive, express- claimed that over 400 students billion tax exemption. ing their anger at the Government’s marched to show their support in a bit more than just Bea Patrick, a member of the prioritising of corporate interests the student protest in Cambridge. Cambridge Action Network and a over public interests.” The demonstration was described as writing to MPs” second-year student at Newnham, The largest protest, by far, took having attracted a “record turnout.” told Varsity, “We walked into the place on Wednesday, when nearly CUSU President, Rahul Man- Vodafone store in the Arcade and 400 Cambridge students joined an sigani, described the protest as Alan Davis, branch chairman started handing out leaflets and estimated crowd of 52,000 people “definitely a success”. of UNISON for the University of chanting, informing customers of taking part in the national student He added, “Given the weather Cambridge highlighted that it is not the tax dodge. demonstrations in London. As the we think it was an extremely good only students, but people who work “When asked to leave by the protests took a violent turn, Varsity turn-out, one which is up there as at universities who will be affected. store employees, we peacefully sat reporters were on the ground to one of the highest student turn-outs “I think not only students but also down and continued chanting,” she report throughout the day. in terms of student union-organised my workers who work in lower paid recounted. See full coverage on pageS 6 & 7 Senior academics divided over tuition fee increase

requested to remain anonymous, is between inadequate funding for debate and understanding before Varsity news citing the fact that their opinions universities and increased levels we move in this direction.” “I am against the Government University of Cambridge dons and did not reflect those of their Col- of student fees, then I would reluc- Another bursar said, “I am per- reducing its investment in HE. senior Fellows appear divided over lege or of the University. tantly accept the increased fees.” sonally very uncomfortable that What it is essentially doing the issue of raising tuition fees, The responses showed that there A major concern that emerged changes of such major social signifi- is seeking to transfer the an informal Varsity survey has is a lack of consensus among Fel- from many of the comments was the cance are being pushed through so revealed. lows on whether the cap on tuition speed with which drastic changes quickly.” burden of funding HE from the Varsity asked Senior Tutors, Col- fees should be lifted. One Senior to the higher education system The University is waiting to get Exchequer to individuals, and lege Bursars, and University Heads Bursar said: “I totally oppose the were being “pushed through”. further information before releas- in a knowledge economy this of Department for their opinions lift of the cap on tuition fees, though ing an official position. However, seems to me to be at the very on whether the cap on tuition fees the University will be forced into speaking to Varsity, a spokesper- least unwise.” a SenIor TuTor should be lifted. Most Fellows a very difficult situation by the “I am personally son said, “Given the cuts to tuition helen mackreath impacts of the Browne report and funding announced in the Compre- the Comprehensive Spending very uncomfortable hensive Spending Review and the “In the financial circumstance Review.” existing under-funding of under- we are facing, I support lifting On the other hand, a Head of that changes of graduate education, the University Department said, “My straight- welcomes the potential flexibility the cap on tuition fees. The forward reply is that I support such major social offered by the Government’s deci- start point has to be proper the raising of the fee cap to £9,000, sion to increase the maximum funding of the operation because I understand that Cam- significance are annual tuition fee to £9,000. so that the University and bridge will not be able to continue “We remain committed to the Colleges can maintain the to subsidise undergraduate educa- being pushed principle that no suitably qualified exceptional quality of their tion from its own resources in the student should be deterred from face of diminished investment in it through so quickly” applying to Cambridge on finan- graduates.” a BurSar by the Government.” cial grounds, and to the provision However, many Fellows who According to a Senior Bursar, of bursaries to students from less- supported raising the cap pointed “The [Browne] report views educa- advantaged backgrounds.” “I support the raising of the out that they did so reluctantly due tion as part of the consumer culture, However, a Head of Department fee cap, because I understand to a lack of viable funding options. subject to all the vagaries of supply questioned whether the University that Cambridge will not be As one Senior Tutor explained, “I and demand, with the demand would be able to ensure sufficient able to continue to subsidise am very unhappy with the rise in all coming from the employment provision of bursaries. “I remain undergraduate education from tuition fees. However, as yet I do prospects attached to acquiring a sceptical that even a University not see a viable alternative in this particular degree. This is a funda- with the resources of Cambridge its own resources in the face time of national financial crisis.” mental change in the way in which will be able to create a bursary of diminished investment in it A College Bursar summarised this country views education, and I scheme capable of ensuring needs- by the Government.” a HeaD of the feeling by saying, “If the choice think there needs to be much more blind admission,” he said. DeparTMenT News team: Osama Siddiqui, Oliva Crellin & Natasha Pesaran 12th November 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk NewS 5

JU SHARDLOw & BILL PAUL ROUSSeAU

andrew griffin Cambridge Protests

jc wills to attend a rally at the Guild- hall in Market Square. Protests surrounded the release of the Comprehensive Spending Review in which George Osborne aims to save the country £83bn in the next year. CUSU expressed con- cern about how the wider cuts will hurt students, arguing that they will result in “the destruction of the higher education budget.” A CUSU spokesperson said, “The Saturday 23rd October 2010 75 per cent cuts to the teaching budget, including the elimination Location: Cambridge City Centre of all funding for arts, humanities Reason: Proposed cuts to public and social sciences, represent the spending most damaging assault on our uni- Turnout: Over 500 protestors versity education system we have ever seen.” CUSU also expressed The protest, held in conjunction anxiety over the cutting of Edu- with the Trade Union Congress cational Maintenance Allowance (TUC) began at noon outside the (EMA) which could “severely Parkside fire station and marched damage” the access work done by into Cambridge city centre the University.

helen mackreath the crowd were leading members of CUSU, Cambridge MP Julian Huppert and Cambridge Labour candidate Daniel Zeichner. CUSU President, Rahul Mansi- gani said, “CUSU has a strong message: we don’t want cuts; we want an education that is fair and free for all”. Much anger was expressed towards the Liberal Democrats: “The Lib Dems made a promise to us. The fact that Friday 5th November 2010 they have turned around and completely contradicted every- Location: Cambridge City Centre thing they initially said, I’m Reason: Raising of the cap on sorry I find that quite frankly tuiton fees to £9,000 per year spineless. We will show the gov- Turnout: Between 200 and 400 ernment we will not accept the changes to higher education Students from Cambridge and funding and together if we stand ARU moved through the centre united the Government cannot to Great St Mary’s. Addressing ignore our voice.”

jc wills Three people were arrested after protestors occupied and forced the closure of the Voda- fone outlet in the Grand Arcade. Activists converged on the shop in a demonstration organised by the Cambridge Action Network (CAN) as part of a nationwide pro- test against Vodafone’s alleged £6 billion tax exemption. Bea Patrick, THE FACTS: WHY THE STUDENTS ARE PROTESTING a member of the CAN and student at Newnham, told Varsity, “We 12th October 2010: The Browne Report Recommendations walked into the Vodafone store in ■ Remove cap on fees (currently fees are capped at £3,290) the Arcade and started handing out leaflets and chanting, inform- ■ Increase university places by 10 per cent ing customers of the tax-dodge.” A Saturday 6th November 2010 third-year philosophy student at ■ Funding may be reduced for all but priority subjects such as Medicine, Science and engineering King’s said, “we were demonstrat- ■ Graduates expected to start repaying loans when they begin to earn £21,000 or more Location: Vodafone Shop, Grand ing to say that the Government Arcade should be coming down hard on ■ Provision for increased support for living expenses for students who come from families with Reason: Vodafone’s alleged £6 bil- corporations like Vodafone as incomes of less than £70,000 lion tax exemption opposed to making cuts that hit Turnout: 35 activists the poor and the vulnerable.”

JU SHARDLOw & BILL PAUL ROUSSeAU 20th October 2010: The Comprehensive Spending Review Nearly 400 Cambridge Students attended the National Union of ■ Chancellor George Osborne unveils £83bn of cuts Students (NUS) demonstration in London. A crowd of nearly 52,000 ■ 75 per cent cuts to the teaching budget people, according to NUS figures, gathered at the mostly peaceful ■ elimination of all funding for arts, humanities and social sciences protests in central London. But a ■ Cutting of educational Maintenance Allowance (eMA) small wing of around 200 protes- tors, including some Cambridge students, clashed with police and stormed Conservative Party 3rd November 2010: £9,000 cap on tuition fees announced headquarters. Protestors broke ■ The general fees cap will be placed at £6,000 but certain institutions will be able to charge more “in Wednesday 10th November windows, waved anarchist flags exceptional circumstances”. 2010 and started a bonfire in the court- yard of the building, resulting in a ■ Students will not pay tuition fees upfront. They will pay in the form of graduate contributions, Location: London standoff with police who attempted repaying their loans as 9 per cent of their income with a real rate of interest once they begin earning Reason: Proposed cuts to public to clear the area by force, armed over £21,000 per year. spending with batons. Organisers of the pro- Turnout: 52,000 test condemned the vandalism. 12th November 2010 News team: Osama Siddiqui, Olivia Crellin & Natasha Pesaran 6 NewS www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] Demonstration overshadowed b y violence and vandalism 52,000 students take to the streets in anger over government cuts

all PhOtOS by JU ShaRDlOw & bIll PaUl ROUSSeaU

continueD from front Page system.” Diary of a Protestor The violent actions of protestors The Metropolitan Police, who have attracted both strong criti- 8.15 Arrive at coaches for an 8:30 deployed only 155 officers, have come cism and praise from Cambridge departure. under criticism for underestimating students. the numbers who would turn out for Rob Mindell, NUS delegate for 11.30 We go to the gathering the march, and have admitted that Cambridge and third-year law stu- at Horse Guards. The turnout they were unprepared for the violent dent, condemned the violence in harsh is so much larger than expected turn it took. terms, stating, “Wednesday was an that the front is moved forward embarrassment for the student pop- twice. ulation of the United Kingdom. The “Wednesday was outbreak of violence didn’t just over- 12.00 The march has started, shadow yesterday’s demonstration but at the back we’re shuffling an embarrassment but has hijacked the entire discussion very slowly on higher education funding.” for the student Juan Zober de Francisco, former 12.30 The megaphone is excel- King’s JCR President echoed his lent for starting chants. After population” disappointment at the level of vio- about fifteen minutes many lence, commenting, “Violence may people tip over the barriers con- be an effective way of getting people fining us, and we run ahead. The National Union of Students to hear what you’re saying, but it (NUS), who organised the protest, detracts from the fundamental mes- 13.00 A branch of the march, was quick to dissociate itself from the sage. I am disappointed in anyone freed from the barriers, throngs rioting and vandalism, which it main- who believes that violence is the way outside the Treasury. By now I’m tains was not planned. that we should proceed to get this next to Westminster Abbey. Speaking to BBC News, Aaron message heard.” Porter, NUS President, said, “I abso- However, others were less criti- 13.20 The siege on Millbank lutely condemn that a small minority cal of those who had taken violent (Conservative HQ) begins. of students and others who have gone action. People start the run on the off on this splinter demonstration.” Mark Reilly, a third-year student doors. We dash in. Other people Cambridge University Students’ from King’s, told Varsity, “I don’t are launching smoke bombs and Union (CUSU), which organised think that the message has got lost creating graffiti. seven coaches to take students to because of the violent aspects of the join the march, was encouraged by protest. 15.50 Millbank has exploded. the turn-out. CUSU President Rahul “While it has generated a lot of There’s at least two fires and a Mansigani commented: “There is a media focus, I think that that is drum corps. We cheer to the very strong feeling of frustration with largely to do with the fact that violent people on the roof. Windows half- the current government’s proposals. protest is unusual in this country. If way up the building have been Tuition fees are being trebled in a this had happened in France, nobody smashed. cynical attempt to shift the burden of would have blinked. spending cuts onto students. “But ultimately this was a mani- 16.20 The riot police in front of “Cambridge students have proved festation of a feeling among students, the building push back into us. that they do care about access, and an anger that goes beyond marching At least two helicopters are cir- that the quality of their education is and hoping that people will listen. cling overhead. important to them. “Democratic channels have been “It is unfortunate that a small tried and have failed. A lot of stu- 17.00 Stalemate for some time. minority of students chose to cause dents voted for the Lib Dems and People are flagging as the dark disruption at Millbank: CUSU cannot they haven’t been listened to, now and cold descend. Event stew- condone violent protest. they are turning to other forms of ards come along at about quarter “However, the message of the direct action.” past to let us know that LSE is thousands who peacefully attended In the wake of Wednesday’s pro- starting a gathering. the demonstration must remain test, a wave of direct-action protests clear: we will accept nothing less than across the country have been planned 20.15 Home in Cambridge. a well-funded, free and fair education for 24th November. ‘When the beat dropped we all charged forward, jumping over cars, along the road towards the riot police.’ am not a particularly political person, but I after-party, but they were drowned out by the crowd decided to go along just for the sheer hell of it. and nobody was listening. “II was there with about a dozen students from “Then, following a swooping arm action from the my college, ten from Tit Hall and a few from King’s. It front man, everyone stormed the building. The secu- wasn’t that violent at first, there were a lot of people, but rity guards had evacuated the reception area and it was it was a slow start up giving people time to fester. There empty. I sort of got dragged in with the crowd. Soon was a lot of anti-Cambridge sentiment by some students there were around 300 people packed in to the foyer. at other Unis, who told us to ‘fuck off back to Whitehall, They were screaming, jumping on the seats. We occu- you don’t belong here.’ People were chanting – the antic- pied the foyer for about an hour, chanting and shouting. ipation was building.” Some people were smashing up the TVs and banging on “As we approached Millbank, a row of socialists hold- the lift doors. ing two banners stopped the crowd. People went round “After a while, we noticed that some policemen had shouting to the crowd, pointing out to us that this was arrived, but there were only four of them. At that point Conservative Headquarters. People started stamping I left with some of the others. The police didn’t stop us, and shouting. The reception of the building was full of they were more concerned with trying to stop people suits and receptionists looking out at us through the coming in. glass in a kind of bemused way. People from the office “As we came out, there was a lot of smoke. People blocks overhead were looking down as well. were saying that there was tear gas being let off, but “Then a bunch of students in balaclavas and hoods actually it was the smoke from flares people were letting ripped signs off their wooden posts and started smack- off. Outside the building, some people were burning effi- ing the glass with them. Someone broke through the gies of Cameron and Clegg. glass and people were banging at the doors. A bunch of “After a while we moved on and came across a dub- security guards just stood there watching us, but there step crew and around 2,000 people all gathered around were no police there at that point. A couple of NUS a speaker system, dancing and raving. When the beat Stewards tried to disperse the crowd, telling people that dropped we all charged forward, jumping over cars, the march was over and that they should move on to the along the road towards the riot police.” News team: Osama Siddiqui, Olivia Crellin & Natasha Pesaran 12th November 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk NEWS 7

Student Opinions

“There were Cambridge stu- Demonstration overshadowed b y violence and vandalism dents from a wide range of backgrounds, from freshers to alumni, home and interna- tional students, all of whom were there because of their 52,000 concerns about the issues: Official figure for the access to higher education, number of protestors, the issue of increased student according to NUS debt, the effect that higher fees will have on widening participation. I am extremely disappointed that a tiny pro- portion of demonstrators let their anger about the issue 400 turn into violence.” Number of Cambridge ANDY MCGOWAN, students who protested CUSU ACCESS OFFICER in London “That some students took part in civil disobedience in no way detracts from the scale of today’s demonstration and their actions pale in signifi - cance to the criminal damage 225 the Tories and Liberal Demo- Number of police crats are about to infl ict on deployed for the whole our universities.” event LIAM MCNULTY, SDLP YOUTH MEMBER

“Wednesday was an embarrass- ment for the student population of the United Kingdom. The outbreak of violence didn’t just overshadow yesterday’s COMMENT: THE MILLBANK INCIDENT demonstration but has hijacked the entire discussion on Higher Education Funding. The NUS leadership should have fore- RAHUL MANSIGANI ANONYMOUS PROTESTOR seen that this would be an inevitable consequence of the CUSU President attended the march Cambridge student who attended the pro- unnecessarily infl ammatory with 400 other Cambridge students test and made it onto the Millbank Conservative anti-government rhetoric that headquarters they have invoked throughout the whole academic year – the same rhetoric that has been passed down through student he demonstration on Wednes- help. Peaceful protest is acceptable. ESPICABLE.” “Shame- outraged students who had no union’s across the country, and day was hugely encouraging Storming a building, smashing win- ful.” “Needless rioting.” thought of bodily harm is the same ours is not immune from this.” T– fi fy thousand, the highest dows, and attacking people is not. “DThis is what we’re hear- as Londoners braving Nazi bom- ROB MINDELL, turnout in a generation, marching to Not all those who were inside the ing about the amazing feats of bardments to keep vital services CAMBRIDGE NUS DELEGATE 2010 show our frustration with the coali- building should be condemned, but Wednesday afternoon, when pro- running. tion’s cynical plans for the future of those who committed violent acts, testers fi nally used harmless tactics Let’s review the course of events: “Everyone who was there and our universities. whether criminal damage or against that made everyone sit up and give during the rally, thousands of who I’ve spoken to are really Months of planning had gone into other people, should know that they a damn. marchers forewent the predictable against the violence. I saw a organising the demonstration and do not speak for me. One person Yet Aaron Porter, one of the people speeches, ones which repeated the group on my way around with our expectations were exceeded. being sent to hospital is too many. using such patronising language same rhetoric telling us to follow up hoods up and scarves over Getting fi fty thousand students out The actions of a small group exhorted us to charge the building. this moving day with writing feeble their faces already, so there of their beds, from Edinburgh to have now been sensationalised by Just as thousands of people converged letters to MPs. Instead, we chose to were obviously people there Aberystwyth, is the clearest sign the media. The fire extinguisher on Millbank to execute something damage property, occupy the build- who had come just to cause yet that this is not just an issue that dropped from the roof of the build- effective for once, he told the rally, ing – putting my rear on a sofa in trouble. The Tory HQ wasn’t motivates the ‘political’ amongst us, ing was met not by cheers, but the “We’re in the fi ght of our lives. We the lobby was exhilarating – and even on the main route, they but one that is galvanising the entire protesters chanting “Stop Throwing face an unprecedented attack on our emerge on the roof. After startling a splintered off towards there student body. Shit”. Catherine Rogerson, a Cam- future before it has even begun.” on their own... I hope people bridge student, has been obscenely When asking yourself how you remember that for every one misquoted by the Daily Mail, which feel about the actions people took, “If you weren’t there, idiot attacking Tory HQ there “It was not only falsely printed that she condoned remember: if you weren’t there, were 250 others marching “smashing up buildings”. you’re being told a story by politi- you’re being told a peacefully to try and stop the violent but These are just examples of the cians – people who have a vested government turning education exaggeration and inaccuracy in the interest in effecting no change story by politicians.” into a two tier system”. politically foolish.” media’s coverage, which has now whatsoever and demonising those KATE TALBOT, swung the debate from the vital who step outside the dance of words GIRTON 3rd YEAR HISTORIAN issues that I and my colleagues which are screwing up what’s actu- few staff members, we left. That the actions of a (relatively) were campaigning on to whether ally happening in real life. Now let’s review the outcome: “I think it’s a shame that the small group of people should now or not the ‘Millbank incident’ was It’s not the Millbank participants most immediately, we’ve created job protest is being presented as be dominating our headlines, acceptable. who fail to represent the feelings of stimulus – the broken windows mean mindless violence because it rather than the message of the Students as a group should look the student community at large - it’s someone will get paid for repairing makes it easy for people to demonstration itself, is extremely at yesterday’s demonstration as an these mouthpieces. Porter and his them. dismiss it. I felt there was real disappointing. With the media eager overwhelming success. More than ilk, along with established newspa- This protest, instead of being a excitement at the protest, to capitalise on any disruption, it four hundred Cambridge students per reporters and columnists, have footnote blip in the news cycle, is even if people didn’t necessar- was not only violent, but politically made it down on the day, with many no choice but to keep in step with getting the attention it deserves. ily want it to go that far. Still, foolish to storm Conservative head- more donating to the cause – that’s a the government’s offi cial sentiment Ignore the message of “Don’t it gave a message that we are quarters. Many students attending record which we should be proud of. if they want to keep their positions forget, children (since that’s all you not just going to sit here pas- the demonstration had never pro- We have now shown the Govern- of fl abby-minded complacency. are) – direct action is a perverted sively – people were willing tested before. ment that we will march, and we will “Condemning” the Millbank thing committed by a tiny, freak to turn out and do something This is the fi rst time that students be heard. When this comes before actions is tantamount to the Con- fringe of fi lth, and not at all what for once. It’s just a shame across the University are talking Parliament, Nick Clegg and his MPs servative Home blog post that good little students do! Yes, direct that that message got lost in about these issues, the debate is in now know that students expect Lady Warsi’s remaining inside on action, tsk tsk, doesn’t accomplish translation.” college bars and common rooms. We them to keep their promises. Thou- the phone was an example of “blitz diddly squat!” – except, of course, ANONYMOUS, have to keep this momentum going sands of students are concerned, and spirit”. Because, clearly, needlessly when it shows the world just how 2nd YEAR ENGLISH STUDENT and the attack on 30 Millbank doesn’t we will not be denied. whimpering in fear of rightfully much you mean what you’re saying. 12th November 2010 News team: Osama Siddiqui, Olivia Crellin & Natasha Pesaran 8 NEWS www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] Ex-Chancellor Nigel Lawson calls unemployed economic casualties Police called to ADC bar after fight When the police arrived she was VA IT N his speech had borne no relation to heard to shout, “Police protect reality. property”. Nigel Lawson, Margaret Thatch- For his part, Will Hutton, while The student was handcuffed and er’s Chancellor, has compared the supporting Lawson’s argument forcibly held to the fl oor in the foyer unemployed victims of his economic that major structural changes of the building for several minutes policies to the casualties of war in a were inescapable for the British as a total of four police vehicles Cambridge speech this week. economy, attempted to draw the dis- assembled outside, including one car Speaking at a Cambridge Uni- cussion into the social consequences containing police dogs, as well as a versity History Society (CLIO) of Thatcherism by criticising the police van. seminar held last Monday at the enormous damage done to UK indus- As she was restrained in the the- Cambridge Union, Lord Lawson trial cities. atre foyer, the student, from Leeds, of Blaby, whilst admitting that the The President of CLIO, Harry was heard threatening police offi - extent of the rise in unemployment Dadswell, told Varsity of his delight cers with physical violence as well as fi gures had shocked him, neverthe- at the event. “No one was expecting inviting them to “kick my head in”. less defended his decisions as the such a high turnout to the event: it Three police offi cers then carried inevitable means of escape for an gave the proceedings a real sense of her out of the building and forced her economy in serial decline. excitement. It was fantastic to see into the back of a police van as she These words came in the context Lord Lawson, a maker of history, Four police cars came to the ADC Theatre on Wednesday to arrest the rowdy student continued to scream and threaten of a discussion with Will Hutton, the forced by the fellow speakers to violence. left-leaning former Editor-in-Chief justify his actions before students, VA IT N to leave. Another student at the bar told of the Observer, and Professor Rich- many of whom have written weekly According to sources who were Varsity that the MML student had ard Vinen, an expert on Thatcherism history essays on the actions this Police arrested a mature student present at the scene, the unknown expressed regret about not being from King’s College, London. man took only three decades ago.” at the Amateur Dramatic Theatre student was shouting socialist slo- able to attend the student protests in For all the austerity of the venue, The fact remains, however, that (ADC) bar on Wednesday night after gans, lying on the fl oor, screaming, London that morning and was in the the sparks fl ew between the speak- the description of the British unem- she threatened bar staff and patrons standing on tables and attempting bar to celebrate the opening night of ers on occasion. When Professor ployed, which topped three million with violence and verbal abuse. to attack patrons of the bar, while Fired Up. Vinen attacked the Conservative in 1982, as necessary casualties of The student, who studies Medi- her friends tried to persuade her to ADC manager Phil Norris said, government of the 1980s, claiming war in a necessary economic transi- eval and Modern Languages (MML) leave. “The ADC is run by student vol- that one million unemployed was tion, will certainly provoke comment at the University, was refused ser- A Homerton student who was at unteers and its management team incompetence, but two million was as long as the legacy of Thatcher vice at the bar and quickly became the bar that night told Varsity that is made up of recent graduates. a policy, Lord Lawson retorted that remains a contentious issue. aggressive after bar-staff asked her the girl had tried to punch her and a This creates a friendly and cordial friend after the pair broke out into a atmosphere and we are obviously fi t of giggles in response to the dis- concerned that this atmosphere has play in the bar. been disturbed.” “She was shouting at us ‘You’re He added, “We see this disturbance so fucking lucky, you rich students,’ as a one-off event, however and don’t and then just lunged for us. 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Opera Print Ad.indd 1 11/9/10 11:15 AM News team: Osama Siddiqui, Olivia Crellin & Natasha Pesaran 12th November 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk NewS 9 Union Cambridge comes closer to a cancer vaccine membership Abtin sAdeghi clues” as to how tumour cells evade Cambridge scientists engineered Consequently, the Fearon lab is the immune system by coercing a mouse in which cells expressing hoping to collaborate with the Cancer reduction claim University of Cambridge research- health cells. FAP could be destroyed. When this Research UK Cambridge Research ers have discovered the reason for Vaccines developed to kill tumours was carried out in animals with lung Institute to repeat the findings in a proved false the failure of anti-cancer vaccines, by attacking cancerous cells have cancer, the cancer ‘died’ rapidly. model that more closely resembles in a step that could pave the way for heretofore not affected the growth However Professor Douglas human cancer and to examine the jemma trainor the development of effective cancer of tumours. Fearon from the Cambridge Uni- FAP-expressing stromal cells in vaccines in the future. The new research, published last versity Department of Medicine human tumours. The Cambridge Union Society has A normal cell type found in week, suggests that this is due to a emphasised that although the Fearon explained that “further stated that it has no plans to reduce tumours may be preventing the subset of normal connective tissue identification of these cells was an studying of how these cells exert its life membership fees to £10, con- immune system from killing cancer cells called stromal cells, scattered “important step,” these findings are their effects may contribute to trary to claims published in The cells. This has important conse- throughout tumours, which help based on mouse models and “although improved immunological therapies Cambridge Student (TCS) last week. quences for vaccines, as they act to provide support to tissues and cells. there is much overlap between the by allowing us to remove a barrier Varsity can now confirm that the boost this immune response. These stromal cells express a pro- mouse and human immune systems, that the cancer has constructed.” front-page article in TCS was based The findings have generated a tein normally involved in wound we will not know the relevance of Although still at an early stage, on incorrect “speculation” concern- lot of interest within the scientific healing called fibroblast activation these findings in humans until we manipulation and selective destruc- ing changes to funding at the Union, community. Dr Claire Knight, from protein alpha (FAP) that is thought are able to interrupt the function of tion of these cells could result in a rather than on facts. Cancer Research UK, described to cause immune suppression in and the tumour stromal cells expressing cancer vaccine being a realistic The story in TCS maintained that the findings as providing “exciting around the tumour. FAP in patients with cancer.” prospect. due to a significant boost in corporate revenue the Union would be able to reduce their membership fees by a substantial amount. The article also stated that the Union had not settled on an exact figure, but did quote Union Presi- The crowd is only average dent, James Counsell, as naming £10 as a “symbolic fee” in light of funding changes which might allow the Union to abolish fees entirely. The official line from the Union, however, was unequivocal. In an email to members, the Union established that, “Contrary to the story reported in TCS last week, the Union has no plans whatsoever for a radical reduction in the cost of membership. “TCS mistook speculation con- cerning the Union’s funding over the coming decade for a concrete plan for an immediate reduction.” Union President, James Coun- sell, told Varsity, “The officers of the Union are of course concerned about the affordability of membership, and we regret that the current price reflects the great cost of running the society. “Unfortunately for the foreseeable future there is no way to fund the Union without the significant contri- bution of the membership fee.” To many, the proposed reduction in fees was baffling when considered alongside the Union’s 2009 figures, which showed that while membership fees had raised £133,430, corporate income was only at £46,257. Given the disparity, it appeared highly unlikely that the Union could suddenly raise enough corporate income to drastically reduce mem- bership fees, let alone eradicate them completely. Currently the price of life mem- bership is £155.50 with £85.50 for annual membership although there is always a reduction for freshers in Michaelmas. Orbis has excelled over its 20-year history. One student remarked, “Consider- ing that members sometimes have to pay to get into Union events, I don’t If we did what others do, expect that the Union has a great deal of money to play with.” we would be worth nothing. They added, “It seemed strange that they could suddenly offer such a massive membership discount com- Are you prepared to be different? pared with previous years.” Despite the obstacles to reducing the membership fee, Counsell has stated that the Union is committed to making the organisation as acces- sible to students as possible. Attend our presentation “In order to mediate the burden on students, we have expanded our Lubbock Room, Peterhouse, 16th November at 7pm bursary scheme to cover all EU coun- tries,” he said. “In addition, our referral scheme is now in place, which gives £30 bar credit to any member who is with somebody as they join.” 12th November 2010 News team: Osama Siddiqui, Olivia Crellin & Natasha Pesaran 10 NewS www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]

NewS iNterview News in Brief Fred Pearce: Environmentalist mostly the result of rising consump- Fire scare at the tion, not numbers of people” he tells Pitt Club me. As he says later in the book, “we can expect peak population by mid- Four fire engines were called to century and a decline after that.” the Pitt Club on Tuesday night In his opinion, we’ve done as much after smoke from the club’s fire- as we need to do to address overpop- place began to seep through into ulation and now the emphasis must Trinity College accommodation. shift. “Addressing environmental Members were partaking in problems purely through population one of the club’s nightly dinners, policies is wrong,” he argues. when fire officers were forced to So what should we be doing to enter the building on Jesus Lane. tackle our environmental prob- The officers, dressed in fire pro- lems? I ask him if he thinks that tective clothing, were concerned scientific innovation offers a way that a potentially dangerous fire out. He replies, “I’m a technologi- may have broken out in the Club cal optimist. But we need dramatic and would spread to student changes, orders of magnitude in the accommodation. way we consume. We need to run the However upon their arrival it economy without carbon, we need was established that a fire had to produce food in a much more effi- been lit in the dining room fire- cient way and we need to use energy place, and that smoke was seeping much more efficiently.” through a crack in the chimney. I press him on the specifics: how The fire officers remained at the should we be producing our energy? building for around 45 minutes, “Nuclear power,” he responds hesi- before establishing that there tantly, “but ultimately solar power”. was no danger. The chimney is It is refreshing to hear him say this. now being fixed. He’s a realist as well as an optimist. The trouble is the problem is only going to get bigger: as the less Graduate Union developed world catches up, our global carbon footprint will rocket. Board elected Pearce thinks that the onus is still very much on the West. The results of the Graduate “It is ethically unsound to deny Union Board elections have been them development. We are the big announced. The new board con- consumers now. The trouble is that sists of Murat Basarir and Anna developing countries are following Kaxira as Academic Affairs the Western development model. We director, Fran Boait as Envi- need to change the model,” he says. romental Director, Arabella I turn to the sticky question of cli- Higgins and Madeleine Kasson mate change. Pearce is an expert on as Events Directors, Arash matters climate-related. Another of Moavenian and Ankita Kankani his recent books, The Climate Files, as International Director, Suha investigates the ‘Climategate’ scan- Mahayni and Michalis Dekas- dal, which involved leaked emails tros as Secretaries, Magdalini suggesting that climate scientists Makrodimitri and Paul Hurst as had been manipulating and hiding Treasurers and Lydia Fairhurst data to prevent climate sceptics and Varun Khanna as Welfare from getting hold of it. Directors. He writes: “None of the 1,073 The distribution of the 439 emails… upsets the 200-year-old sci- votes cast means that the vast ence behind the ‘greenhouse effect’ majority of the portfolios will be We might wish it weren’t so, but shared between two of the can- the world still has a problem. A big didates, leading to a Board of 14 problem.” with only 8 roles. EMILY CARLTON I ask him what he sees as the biggest barrier to action on cli- mate change. “Politics,” he says. £17m grant for the “We know how to curb CO2 emis- sions dramatically. The technology Engineering Fred Pearce, environmental journalist and science writer, talks to is basically there. We know it is not cripplingly expensive. What we lack Department Tim Middleton about the overpopulation “Armageddon” is the ability to organise ourselves to do what most see as necessary.” The University of Cambridge’s Climate change is no longer in the Engineering Department has red Pearce is an environ- questioning everything and hate “My American publishers decided science, but in the communication of been awarded a major grant mentalist. It’s not just the hierarchies. A born outsider. Jour- Peoplequake did not convey enough science. We can be thankful that we worth £17 million, which will be Fruffled hair, greying beard nalism allows me to be the perpetual information. Right now I see have people as intelligent and sensi- used to fund a new Innovation and checked shirt – he is a passionate outsider,” he says. Amazon says that people who buy tive as Pearce doing just that. and Knowledge Centre (IKC). campaigner on behalf of our planet. Pearce specialises in reporting on Peoplequake also buy The Coming IKC hopes to link together Pearce was UK environment jour- global environmental issues, includ- Population Crash. If so, they are in advances in technology with nalist of the year in 2001 and has ing water supply, climate change for a disappointment!” he chuckles. business expertise. been described as “one of Britain’s and population. The book dives straight in at Corrections Professor Robert Mair, Head finest science writers”. As well as his He recalls how the issue of over- the deep end: “It’s Armageddon. of Civil and Environmental job at The Guardian, he is environ- population first gripped him: We fear an overpopulated world There were some errors in last week’s Engineering and Master of ment consultant for New Scientist “Population was a big issue when I teeming with the dispossessed and interview with Peter Tatchell. He Jesus College said, “This is a and contributes regularly to the was at school in the 1960s. A biolo- the alienated, the fanatical and was never MP for Bermondsey, but hugely exciting and important Daily Telegraph, the Independent gist called Paul Ehrlich wrote a book the fascist, the wetbacks and the was the defeated Labour candidate in award. Much of our infrastruc- and Times Higher Education. called The Population Bomb, saying snakeheads, the Humvee-driving the 1983 by-election. His fund is called ture is more than 100 years old. I ask him how he first became we had lost the battle to feed the super-polluters and the dirt-poor the Peter Tatchell Human Rights Infrastructure owners there- interested in journalism. “I began in world. And with population set to deforesters. Surely, we are racing to Fund, not the Tatchell Rights Fund. fore have a strong interest in student journalism. In Cambridge, double in a generation it did seem demographic disaster.” It is not a personal fund and it was not emerging technologies in sen- as it happens,” he says. Initially he impossible to double food produc- Pearce doesn’t mince his words, set up by Mr Tatchell but by friends sors and data management, to worked as a photographer for Stop tion. I remember that vividly.” but he doesn’t actually believe these and suppporters. The £60,000 Mr quantify and define the extent Press (a rival publication to Var- In February 2010 he released his ones either. “If I lived in sub-Saha- Tatchell is seeking to raise is not for of ageing and the consequent sity in the early 1970s before they own book on population under the ran Africa or parts of the Middle a salary for him. It is to fund an office remaining design life of their merged) but he soon began writ- title Peoplequake. However, in the East I would still be very worried and staff support. The online version infrastructure.” ing. He explains why journalism United States, the book is called The by rising numbers of people. But of the article has been corrected. suits him: “I am inquisitive, like Coming Population Crash. globally, environmental damage is Careers in Investment Banking Are you ready for a company that offers more than you would expect?

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The Careers Service has information and advice from your fi rst term through to your last year, and beyond. We can help you get ideas and plan how to achieve what you want to do. www.careers.cam.ac.uk 12th November 2010 Comment Editors: Jamie Pollock & Rhys Treharne 12 COMMENT www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] Comment I predicted a riot Soul-searching and hand-wringing will be the persistent refrain for the NUS a er Wednesday’s demonstration debacle

Millbank Tower and the bloodying long the silence of the student body I have little doubt that the repre- campaign against tuition fee rises, of a handful of policemen – has been has been deafening: in 1998 with hensible actions of the rioters will which began in earnest on Wednes- to shift the debate from the subject the introduction of fees and at their prove counter-productive, but to day, is already lost. A minority of of apparently scandalous hikes in increase in 2006, and in the omi- dismiss the vandalism as nothing a minority it may have been who tuition fees to the appropriate eti- nous commissioning of the recent sought windows to kick through quette of protest. Browne Review, Reaction has and bonfi res to set alight, but who You’ll be pleased to hear that I do remained muted, and now tempers To dismiss the now remembers seeing any foot- not intend to rehearse or regurgi- have boiled over, which is perhaps age of the 50,000-strong peaceful tate the tired arguments of the past why the police tactic of kettling vandalism as procession meandering through few weeks on this matter: every- seemed so miserably apposite. In Westminster? thing has been said and everybody this context, it seems hardly sur- nothing more Denouncing the perpetrators is has said it. I would, however, like prising that the chants of “You say not enough; indeed, as an unsym- to refer you to remarks Tory, we say scum” fi nally than a scrofulous pathetic friend of mine jubilantly I made on these very morphed into attempts noted at the outbreak of the vio- RHYS TREHARNE pages just a few to torch Tory HQ. sideshow would be lence: “If the fees were drastically weeks ago. In Yet this sort of increased then riff-raff like this Recreational radical, direct incredibly naive would no longer be able to afford ust when it seems that the roll- Revolutionar- action not only their angry student lifestyles.” ing controversy over tuition fee ies (22nd Oct), underscores more than a scrofulous side-show It seems to me unlikely that this Jincreases has at last died, the I noted how the anger of of anarchists and hoodlums would was the outcome Porter et al. had issue somehow manages to resur- “we can but students with be naïve. Nevertheless, that is envisaged. rect itself like an insistent cadaver. hope that the a Coalition exactly what the omnipresent TV If the show is to be gotten back Its most recent reanimation has coming months Government personality (and occasional leader on the road, then the NUS will need proved mildly reminiscent of the see a principled bound by its of the NUS) Aaron Porter has to rethink its approach. The demon- Storming of the Bastille: angry approach taken own fi nancial done. Their actions were “despica- stration was a damaging mistake, mobs infl ict criminal damage on towards the handcuffs, but ble” – and he should know, having and this will need to be a moment a totemic, if wholly unimportant, issue of tuition fee also the level of dis- encouraged students to “hound” of maturation in which concessions building in a comparatively minor increases, and not illusionment with the MPs out of their constituencies just and compromises are made. But event of an altogether broader and merely activism for the ineffective methods of last week. they also have a further problem. more protracted struggle. sake of opposition...” the NUS, the treason of the He was of course right to say Any fool can lampoon Nick Clegg And yet, the events of Wednesday Frankly, I ought to be more Liberal Democrats, and the increas- that the demonstrations had been (takes one to know one, I suppose). afternoon have altered the rules startled by my own omniscience. ingly functionalised attitude taken hijacked; but given the gathering A trifl e more grit will be required to of the game. The single greatest But in reality, anybody with even a towards higher education in which fi re-storm of public disapproval, face down a mob that has decided it achievement of the demonstration hint of foresight should have seen a degree is regarded as an ‘invest- I think I can claim to be equally knows what it wants and is entitled – and the subsequent assault on this confl agration coming. For too ment’ and a graduate as a ‘product’. accurate in suggesting that the to get it. All in the same boat? We must do more to ensure that equality of access fully translates into equality of opportunity

fi rst of these is that it is impossible victory depends. On the other side And to make this a fi ght which to separate equality of opportu- are wealthy children. They are remains equal across generations, nity from outcome. In modern taller, stronger, know the rules and, this levelling must remain constant. Britain there is one factor which The only way to prevent the young determines a child’s eventual class of the wealthy trampling the young position more than any other: their Equality only of the poor, is to prevent them from parents’ wealth. ever occupying a social position This is not only because of the makes sense in from which they can convey unique obvious private school villain. Fun- and unfair advantages. damental to any education is the terms of outcome, If anyone doubts the extent of context it is in, and so success or the problem, a few statistics should JAMES COUNSELL failure is being heavily infl uenced and to ensure all clear up the issue: children receiv- both before and around a child’s ing free school meals are twice lottery, people incapable of under- schooling, at home and by their have the same as likely to lack basic maths and standing the rules will forever be ver the last 50 years we peers. The numbers of words a literacy skills. If they are born to punished for playing badly. Even have witnessed the gradual child has learnt by the time they chances, we must manual working parents, they are so, the advocates of meritocracy Orepealing of the institutiona- reach school varies greatly by class, twice as likely to die as a child, and will have the audacity to claim lised prejudices our grandparents as does the importance attached to prevent the lucky if they survive, they can expect to their society would dish out the would have taken for granted. It an education. These are not things die seven years earlier. material rewards according to is no longer considered acceptable a universal comprehensive system from condemning The second reason to reject effort. to deny somebody employment can fi x; it is the result of children meritocracy is that it condemns the Equality only makes sense in on the basis of their gender, race being born into a deeply stratifi ed the unfortunate less intelligent. If you are smart, terms of outcome. In order to or sexuality and this is a tribute society, in which the losers are you are lucky. You no more earned ensure all children have the same to the dedication and good inten- incapable of passing on the tools of just to make things easier, the ref- your intelligence then an aristocrat chances, we cannot allow them to tions of the advocates of equality success. eree knows them well and wishes earned their estate. If you are be born into classes. To prevent of opportunity. However, these Think of equality in terms of them success. The whistle blows stupid, far from being idle you are the lucky condemning the unfortu- successes are far from suffi cient if a game. On one side is a team of and, of course, the working class likely to have to work incredibly nate, we must share the goods of our intention is to create a fair and working class children. They are are trampled. To make this a fi ght hard for your entire life doing the our society equally. compassionate society. low-skilled and poorly trained, and in which both teams have an equal jobs nobody else wants. However, There are two very strong argu- worse, no one has ever explained to opportunity for success, the differ- society will refuse to reward you James Counsell is the President of ments against meritocracy. The them the subtle rules upon which ences would have to be levelled. for this. As a result of this genetic the Cambridge Union Society Comment Editors: Jamie Pollock & Rhys Treharne 12th November 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk COMMENT13

Our Man in Amman

y fl atmate and I decided to do a spot of shopping Mthis week. We were of the opinion that our threads were simply not fl y enough, so we went into the old town centre for some retail therapy. Many people may imagine Middle Eastern cities as a network of twisting narrow streets, covered markets and people riding around on camels. Although I can’t speak for the whole region, this image sadly does not apply to Amman. However, downtown Amman has a nice buzz about it that’s particu- larly pleasing to a middle-class country boy like me. That said, we were pretty sure everyone here bartered over prices, and that we could enter the nearest men’s boutique and walk out with a selection of fi ne polyester jackets negotiated KATE JONES down to half their original price. It didn’t quite turn out like that. Everything went well at fi rst: we found a small, friendly menswear shop whose kindly manager plied The rice and water war us with tea and sweets. He looked alarmed by my 6 foot 7 inch frame, but demonstrated commend- American aid to Pakistan is hugely generous, but is it always used in the right areas or to the right ends? able professionalism and quickly rearranged his expression from frightened to admiring. My companion and I picked out two suit jackets and a coat that the UN claimed to have raised own GDP. America is primarily And thus this question of US aid between us, and readied our- 40 per cent of the required $2bn to interested in Pakistan as a military in Pakistan gains wider implica- selves for some intense haggling feed and shelter the millions of fl ood ally: it makes sense, then, that they tions: Is the best way to prevent action. “How much for these victims, she announced a brand plough a disproportionate amount fundamentalist Islamifi cation in then?” I enquired lightly. “90 new package of ‘Military Aid’ sent South Asia to prop up a bloated dinars,” the manager replied. 90 (where else but) to Pakistan, worth, Pakistani military (still with one Dinars is slightly more than £90. conveniently, $2bn. If we have learnt eye on Srinagar)? Or is it to privi- I attempted an amused chuckle, I’m not being completely face- lege aid which meets basic needs, which came out more like a dog tious here. In a sense it is unfair which fulfi ls internationally agreed vomiting. “Oh come now,” I said, to blame the US for the failure of anything in the demands without threatening, or “90 dinars is a lot. How about WILLIAM GHOSH everyone to club together more appearing to threaten, the sov- 20?” “No, 90 dinars is the price than $800m; the US who, after all, half-century since ereignty of the Pakistani people? for all these items,” the manager will over the next fi ve years donate US aid cannot rebuild Pakistani replied. For those of you familiar he problem with shared $7.5bn in civilian aid to Pakistan partition, it is that communities on its own, but it can with Monty Python’s Life of responsibility is that, when alone. no discussion on provide the lunch whilst dispos- Brian, this would be a disappoint- Tthings go wrong, it becomes And this is the problem with sessed Pakistanis sort out their own ing scene: he hadn’t even begun diffi cult to know who is to blame. talking about Pakistan; just as you private lives. to haggle. It was time to go to Take Pakistan: it is something of a build up a head of outraged steam Pakistan can ever If we have learned anything in DefCon 1. “OK, OK. How about truism when the awkward subject against someone or anyone you are the half-century since partition, it is 50 dinars, and we’ll recommend is – at great intervals – raised, to forced to remember that – like most hope to progress that no discussion on Pakistan can ALL our friends to come to this admit that yes, it is terrible, “what’s international negotiations – it’s a bit progress through diatribe and sen- shop. Even the girls.” This was a going on there,” and that, yes, more complicated than it seems. through a dialogue sationalism. But will the moderate bold move, since we actually have “people should be doing more.” Sensible debate about Pakistan is cry be heard? How easy is it to per- very few friends who are girls, The implication of this is often destined to be qualifi ed rather than of diatribe and suade anyone that fundamentalists which didn’t really matter that twofold. The speaker will usually go raging; measured rather than out- recruit from the dispossessed and much anyway because I was lying. on to attack a) the media response raged but also, sadly, political. sensationalism. the disenfranchised; and that the The manager remained unim- (“It’s nothing like Haiti, is it?”) and Which brings me back to those only way to combat this is through pressed by our generous offer. b) the international community. American statistics. Of the $9.5bn of money into the armed forces. the discreet provision of fundamen- After fi ve minutes our This is fi ne, and perhaps true, but it which will, over the next fi ve years, But what, at heart, is the US tal requirements and the upholding attempts at haggling started is a kind of blame that doesn’t really fi nd its way from the US exchequer trying to gain? I’m not cynical of genuine political autonomy. The to resemble begging. Eventu- call anyone to account: criticising to its Pakistani counterpart, $2bn enough to deny that improving alternative – more ineffectual cam- ally the manager relented, and ‘the international community’ is will be siphoned off for the military. standards of living in Pakistan is paigns in Waziristan and beyond, offered to sell us everything a bit like criticising God – slightly That’s well over a fi fth. To put that probably, in and of itself, among costing US dollars, but Pakistani for 85 dinars. We left the shop meaningful, but not that helpful in in context, the British Government President Obama’s motivations; lives, and Pakistani hearts – might empty handed and went for a the immediate context. spends an estimated 3 per cent of its but realistically, his Government even be rather extreme, rather hor- kebab instead. I negotiated the It is, therefore, a rather unfair GDP on defence – and that’s often is ploughing the best part of $10bn rifi c after all. price down to 50 pence (from 55 but ultimately necessary step to considered a little steep. into Pakistan and not, say, Bangla- pence), so in the end the evening pick a scapegoat; a role for which Of course, that isn’t a fair com- desh, because it sees Pakistan as of wasn’t a complete failure. Hilary Clinton seemed to be audi- parison. Aid needn’t be proportional crucial, territorial importance in the The Pakistan emergency appeal TOM CROOKE tioning when, in the same month to the way a country spends its ‘War on Terror’. continues at www.dec.org.uk 12th November 2010 Magazine Editors : Alice Hancock & Charlotte Wu 14 MAGAZINE www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] Charlo e Runcie: On Drinking Societies GOOD

Making friends Cambridge students are a species prone to mental illnesses. with the Queen: Her Maj has What’s a little more self-fl agellation on a Sunday night? been offi cially on Facebook as of Sunday because, as one admirer wrote on her hate drinking societies. of fi rst term in fi rst year being initiations at universities across species unfortunately prone to wall, “The Everyone who knows me coloured by drinking games and the country give the nationals depression, anxiety, and other Queen is Cool Find one on Iknows that I hate drinking initiations. frissons of horror on an almost mental illnesses. What’s a little :D”. Like. societies. And yellow chrysan- I know my hourly basis. The sense of glee more self-fl agellation on a themums. But mostly drinking point of the papers feel at Oxbridge Sunday night? societies. I hate drinking societ- view on ‘brainboxes’, in Drink works excellently ies so much that, like the Tea drink- particular, being while you can still taste it, and Party’s approach to communists, ing caught uncon- it’s also useful as a lubricant I haven’t really bothered to scious and for a good night out and an fi nd out exactly what they are. drooling in accompaniment for whatever Based on my observations and the gutter – entertainment you have limited experiences, they are and so being planned. But drinking societ- groups of ordinarily sane and brought ies don’t see it like that any pleasant people who head out down a peg more. For them, drinking is the to their chosen Indian restau- or two – entertainment, because it’s the rant and get lashed, throw food makes them entire focus of the evening, not at one another, vomit into pint report it to mention of the society itself. Japanese Binocular Football. glasses, exchange chlamydia again and The clue is in the name. All this Take some Japanese men, put infections and go home happy. again. How dare puts a huge amount of pressure them in oversized babygros, I also suspect drinking societ- societ- the supposed on the drinker, as a kind of attach binoculars onto their heads ies are those things that make ies (and brightest minds audience, to be entertained by backwards, and you’ve got people dress up and do demean- really of tomorrow the alcohol, because you have yourself a comedy show. ing things in front of tourists in any binge- spend their to consume it for it to entertain Market Square in order to gain drinking that weekends – you. And the more you consume, membership, getting in my way comes sanitised and taxpayers’ the theory is, the more enter- Say goodbye to as I head out to purchase my with songs hard-earned cash tained you are. earphone untan- daily Horlicks and cardigans. and games and – embroiled in a Maybe it’s just me being a gling...thanks to our But that could be sports team costumes) is whirlwind of bile third-year, or maybe I’ve always friends at ‘Budtrap’ initiations. Or experimental unorthodox for a and broken glass? had a trace of the curmudgeon V.G./V.B. will no street theatre. student. Pick up It makes a good story. about me, but the idea of getting longer suffer the Of course I’m a miserable any weekend And they exaggerate, the wasted has become so much extra 20 minutes’ sourpuss. Everyone who knows newspaper and LOUISE LONG moralising papers, because less interesting to me recently stress of unknot- me knows that. And I know I bet you’ll fi nd it’s their job. But it’s more than than that of a night in listening ting our earphones you might think I only dislike in it a story about how all of just outrageous hedonism. This to Radio 4. But I suspect, really, pre-listen... drinking societies because I us love a good drinking society sort of drinking into oblivion, of that everyone needs to come have never been asked to join initiation, and how we’re all getting ‘messy’ and forgetting to this realisation before they any, but that’s not true, and big fans of the binge-drinking everything, is a story of self- leave Cambridge. Otherwise, if anyway my squeamishness epidemic that is ‘sweeping our harm that fi ts especially neatly you want to imagine the future, isn’t restricted to the societies; I nation’. into the lives of Cambridge it’s a fresher vomiting directly have a problem with the whole Seamy stories of swaps and students. We are, after all, a into a pint glass, forever.

Dear Varsity, Self-righteous locals. Yes, I know The internet having been down for 10 days due to about locating the vocal it’s a one-way road! Oxford Bahamas-bound hurricanes, I should have two weeks’ toad community nearby. Circus has the right idea: it’s worth of material with which to regale you. But There we were, just happily introducing two lane pedestrian I will not bore you with a list of commonplace staring into a murky swamp, traffi c: one for window shopping tropical frolickings. Not, you understand, out of flashlights in hand, when dawdlers, one for those with a desire to reduce the jealousy-inducing potential out of the shadows appeared pavement rage. of this little postcard for those of you struggling a hunched figure, swinging dreads silhouetted to hand in essays as glacial Siberian winds sweep against the moon. “What are you doing here?” he into Cambridge and the fifteenth-century, paper- barks in a disarming mix of French and Creole. thin feature glass windows begin to lose their I offer something to the effect of “We are charm. Oh no. It’s simply that having a lovely explorers. We are searching for frogs.” Silence. time in paradise makes for slim anecdotal pickings. How to wring humour from the inexplicable beauty Niceties over with, he demands: “Open your bags!” of swimming with shoals of colourful fish in a “No.” I am not about to be robbed in a bog. “No!” Caribbean coral reef? The time I kicked a fellow- I insist. He delivers an enraged onslaught of snorkeler in the face having genuinely mistaken Creole, and then, “Mais mes grenouilles! Vous her for a shark? Perhaps. avez volé mes grenouilles!” All becomes clear. I interject with “You believe us to have stolen But one night does deserve recounting...Having your frogs, sir? But no! One was merely observing Unexpected downpours: It’s hired scooters for 24 hours on a Guadeloupian them!” Unfortunately, suspicions of thieving cold, it’s wet, no I am not inconti- island, we decided that time spent sleeping aside, the disquieting combination of my warped nent, I left my bike in the rain, OK? would be a frivolous waste of hire time, and so archaic French and the fact that I still hadn’t set off for a spot of midnight engine-propelled removed my helmet nonetheless seemed to warrant a exploration. We found ourselves on a secluded surreal scooter chase across the island... starlit beach, and, not content with constellation- BAD gazing and contemplating our own mortality, set Haxie x (Ali MacKinnon is online) Magazine Editors: Alice Hancock & Charlotte Wu 12th november 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk MAgAzinE 15 SOME QUESTIONS FOR: Dom Collingwood, May Ball President Alice Hancock and Charlotte Wu find out what the President of St John’s College’s 500th anniversary May Ball plans to do with the rumoured unlimited budget When you’re rich and powerful and the College: University is offering to name something St John’s after you, what will you request? School: A giant horse, made out of leather in King’s Canterbury order to commemorate the current slightly small horse made out of a Date of birth: cow that sits on my desk. Alterna- 23.10.1988 tively the biggest, best, fittest and fastest college ever. Date of death: 23.06.11, sometime around midday Sexuality: “In retrospect, paying Straight Ethnicity: £5m upfront to book Caucasian Michael Jackson as the Religion: If I find myself reincarnated, that main act was a little could hold considerable sway. premature...” Emergency contact: Caroline Marks (St John’s College What did you want to be when you grew Choir Administrator) up? Smoker: A maths professor. Only on Sundays (although that isn’t going too well currently). What do you want to be when you grow up? Number of sexual partners? Anything which doesn’t involve being I’m a serial ‘relationshipalist’. a maths professor. Pets? Only roommate Ace Owen to speak What’s the key to happiness? of presently. A set of decanters and a full cabinet of glass-based objects/vessels (or port- Mental health problems: sippers – an intriguing new addition Negative courtest of my recent birthday – Favourite book? thank you Yonz!) Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky What will be written on your gravestone? “Here lie Dom, Ralph and Gui.” Actual favourite book?: An Equal Music by Vikram Seth Who would play you in the film of your What are you reading? life? A riveting little number by Emile Damian Lewis or Toby Stevens (slim Durkheim, The Elementary Forms of pickings when you’re a ginger). Religious Life Who will play your arch-nemesis in the Where do you live? film of your life? With free roaming cattle in Michin- Well, probably Ace Owen. I feel he has hampton, Gloucestershire. the necessary acting skills to recreate the complex and fascinating character

Where do you sleep? AdAM HinES-grEEn that is Ace Owen. In my turret (no it’s literally a turret with a bed in it). Who’s your favourite dictator? What’s the worst joke you’ve ever Which Pokémon would play you in the Karl Marx (above-mentioned Choir heard? cartoon of your life? Administrator’s alter-ego). “I love writing jokes about pencils – Are there any ginger Pokémon, or “I love to smash up the punch lines write themselves.” Of whatever the plural of Pokémon is? What’s the working title for your spill-all course, in connection with the previ- Cindies with all the lads.” memoirs? ous question, that has ruined his next What’s next for Dom Collingwood? Dom, Ralph, Gui? You decide. Smoker performance. Undisclosed. Where will you be on Wednesday night? Oh I love to smash up Cindies with How many copies will it sell? If you could rule any country (UK and USA Do you have anything you’d like to ask all the lads, slash probably the I would hope to see a single copy in aside) which would it be? us? Maypole. an Oxfam bookshop shortly after its Probably somewhere in south-east Any ideas for a main act? Unfor- release. Asia, because then I could, like, totally tunately, booking Michael Jackson When did you first realise that you just, sort of, er... re-like-live my gap five years in advance for an up-front wanted to be a megalomaniac? Who’s your Cambridge arch-nemesis? year for the rest of my...er...like life or payment of £5m now seems a little When I realised that it was a wonder- Alex ‘Ace’ Owen (keep your enemies something...er...yeah. premature... ful excuse to put off doing any work. close).

According to the 2010 website, guests can expect to “encounter excited curiosity, uncontrollable frenzy, climactic euphoria, ebullient delight, peaceful tranquil- lity and inexpressible awe, as you delve into the unfathomable luxuries of the mind,” and to “indulge in a whirling sea of sensation, and let the St John’s College May Ball realise the extraordinary imaginings of your mind in one unforgettable night.” 12th november 2010 Features Editor: Lydia Onyett 16 magazinE www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] AcceptAble in the 80s

Patrick Kane talks synth pop, lip-synching and record label drops with The Human League

t has been 29 years since The commitment to providing energetic [Catherall], Philip [Oakey, founding 2010]. We had a lot of leeway at the Human League released the iconic live performances is as strong as ever. member] and I are still on vocals and start from Virgin and released EPs Isynth pop single ‘Don’t You Want “We really love what we do, and we everything we write is always song that weren’t financially successful but Me’ which saw the band involuntarily feel that’s motivation enough at times. based because that’s just what The the record company had a lot of faith spearheading the New Romantic Human League does, yet we’re taking in us. musical wave which still has a major a modern approach to things. With “These days most people are lucky if influence today. A new single and a “I’d be more nervous if I the help of the new producers, we’re they’re signed for one album - half of studio album – their tenth – are set experimenting somewhat, but we’ve the musicians today only get signed to be released within the next few had to mime. I just don’t not got loads of guitars in to replace months. understand how you can the synths!” So are The Human League merely The band is certainly buzzing about “We want people to give cashing in on the booming nostalgia go out there and not do the release, and the enthusiasm music fad that has claimed such shows through as they hope to follow the album a chance and recent victims as Roxy Music and it live” up their 2001 sleeper-hit Secrets. Roxy ABC in the last few years? Or are Music, Donna Summer and Gary not just think of us as the keyboard pioneers truly intent We wouldn’t be here if that wasn’t the Numan still greatly influence the on bringing their 1980s sound to the case.” band, without question, but there may the band who wrote modern day? Hunter S. Thompson famously be a surprise or two in store for fans. ‘Don’t You Want Me’” Susan Ann Sulley, lead female vocal- called the music industry “a cruel “Philip really loves Simian Mobile ist, quickly reminds me that they’ve and shallow money trench,” and The Disco and he’s a big fan of trance never really left the British music Human League know that better music. Not quite what you would for a single - and if that doesn’t chart, scene. It seems as though the band than most bands in existence today. expect. Personally, I’m a bit of a fan of they’re dropped.” have been making up for lost time Despite selling 29 million records Lady Gaga,” confesses the singer. Without doubt, the Sheffield collec- since 2004, performing at V Festival, worldwide, they have been dropped tive have a tough task ahead of them, Bestival and Ireland’s Electric Picnic. twice by Virgin Records and Chrysalis he band is somewhat uncomfort- but Sulley remains positive. “This “Nobody asked us to play at festivals Music respectively, but their latest able with the certain aspects of time in 2011 I’d hope we’ll still be record deal with Wall of Sound (home Tpop music today, however. The touring and, who knows, we may be to such acts such as Röyksopp and advent of Auto-Tune and reality music back in the studio again because this Mogwai) has delighted Sulley due to shows leaves a bitter taste in Susan’s record has been a bit successful! We “We are who we are. the creative freedom the band have. mouth. “It’s just not real at times. I’d love what we do - playing live, being There would be no point “Mark Jones [head of the label] allows be more nervous if I had to mime – I in the studio - and if we can continue us to do whatever we want musically. just don’t know how you can go out that and if people are prepared to in asking us to try and He’s been a real breath of fresh air. We there and not do it live. We all make listen, we’ll be here. We just want are who we are and there would be no mistakes, we’re human, but I think people to give the album a chance and be U2” point in asking us to try and be U2.” the audience prefer that.” not just think of us as the band who It is a relative rarity for a band to wrote ‘Don’t You Want Me’.” in our heyday! If we’re asked, and if o what can we expect from enjoy such longevity within the music Some things are more difficult it’s right for us, we’ll play any festival their forthcoming album Credo? industry, but Sulley emphasises the than others to overcome, but with a or gig.” A quick-fire 15-date headline S“At the end of the day, it’s a changes that have occurred in music, little luck The Human League should tour can be gruelling upon any band, Human League album: it just has to often for the worse. “The Human be able to redefine themselves and but the singer professes that the sound like us,” says Sulley, “Joanne League wouldn’t have made it [in garner some new fans in the process. Comment Editors: Jamie Pollock & Rhys Treharne 12th november 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk magazinE17 Chinua Achebe: The Education of a British-Protected Child

y father was born in the 1880s, One day in his last years he told me An orphan child born into adver- My father had a lot of praise for the when English missionaries were of a strange dream he had recently sity, heir to commotions, barbarities, missionaries and their message, and so Mfirst arriving among his Igbo dreamt. His uncle, like a traveller from rampant upheavals of a continent in have I. But I have also learned a little people of eastern Nigeria. He was an afar, had broken a long journey for a disarray: was it at all surprising that he more skepticism about them than my early convert and a good student, and brief moment with him, to inquire how would eagerly welcome the explanation father had any need for. by 1904 was deemed to have received things were and to admire his nephew’s and remedy proffered by diviners and enough education to be employed as a ‘modern’ house of whitewashed mud interpreters of a new word? teacher and evangelist in the Anglican walls and corrugated iron roof. And his uncle Udoh, a leader in his Does it matter that Mission. My father was a man of few words, community; a moral, open-minded man, The missionaries’ rhetoric of change and I have always regretted that I had a prosperous man who had prepared centuries before these and newness resonated so deeply with not asked him more questions. But I such a great feast when he took the ozo my father that he called his first son realise also that he took pains to tell me title that his people gave him a unique Europeans sailed Frank Okwuofu (‘New Word’). The what he thought I needed to know. He praise-name for it: was he to throw all world had been tough on my father. He that away now because some strangers down to us in ships to was an orphan child: his mother had from afar came and said so? deliver the Gospel, their died in her second childbirth, and his I am a prime beneficiary Those two – my father and his uncle father, Achebe, a refugee from a bitter – formulated the dialectic which I ancestors had delivered civil war in his original hometown, did of the education which inherited. Udoh stood fast in what not long survive his wife. My father he knew, but he left room also for his our forefathers to the therefore was raised not by his parents the missionaries had nephew to seek other answers. transatlantic slave trade? (neither of whom he remembered) but The answer my father found in the by his maternal uncle, Udoh. made a major component Christian faith solved many problems, It was this man, as fate would have it, of their enterprise. My but by no means all. His great gifts to Does it matter, I ask myself, that who received in his compound the first me were his appreciation for education, centuries before these European party of missionaries in his town. The father had a lot of praise and his recognition that whether we Christians sailed down to us in ships story is told of how Udoh, a very gener- look at one human family or we look at to deliver the Gospel and save us from ous and tolerant man, it seemed, finally for the missionaries, but human society in general, growth can darkness, their ancestors, also sailing had enough and asked his visitors to I have learned a little come only incrementally, and every in ships, had delivered our forefathers move to a public playground on account generation must recognize and embrace to the horrendous transatlantic slave particularly of their singing, which he skepticism. the task it is peculiarly designed by trade and unleashed darkness in our considered too doleful for a living man’s history and by providence to perform. world? compound. But he did not discourage told me, for instance, in a rather oblique From where I stand now, I can see his young nephew from associating way of his one tentative attempt long the enormous value of my great-uncle, with the singers, or listening to their ago to convert his uncle. It must have Udoh Osinyi, and his example of fidelity. message. been in my father’s youthful, heady, I also salute my father, Isaiah Achebe, Professor Chinua achebe is an award- The relationship between my father proselytising days! for the thirty-five years he served as winning novelist, poet, and professor at and his old uncle was instructive to me. His uncle had said no, and pointed a Christian evangelist and for all the Brown University, Rhode island. He will There was something deep and mysti- to the awesome row of insignia of his benefits his work and the work of others deliver the firsta udrey Richards Lecture, cal about it, judging from the reverence three titles. “What shall I do to these?” like him brought to our people. which will be held in the Faculty of Law I saw and felt in my father’s voice and he had asked my father. It was an I am a prime beneficiary of the educa- on Friday 19th november. This event is demeanour whenever he spoke about awesome question. What do I do to who tion which the missionaries had made sponsored by the a g Leventis Foundation his uncle. I am? What do I do to history? a major component of their enterprise. and mr Hakeem Belo-Osagie. 12th november 2010 Arts Editors: Eliot D’Silva & Zeljka Marosevic 18 MAgAZinE www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]

LArA prEnDErgASt Taste Testing Alex Lass gets a serious case of food envy at the 2010 Cambridge College Culinary Competition

ast Thursday saw the Cambridge as well. That said, I think one or two Guildhall transformed once disgruntled Sidney chefs are lurking Lagain into a battle of the toques in the background… blanches as the crème de la crème of college chefs pitted themselves against one another in the annual culinary “Those of you at Emma competition. A chance to demonstrate real gourmet flare, the 2010 event had better keep a low proved once again that college catering teams are capable of producing some profile or else everyone fantastic dishes which we undergradu- will be begging for a ates can only dream of sampling. This year saw 14 colleges taking dinner party at your part, a little fewer than last year when a record 72 chefs from 16 differ- place” ent colleges participated in the 800th anniversary edition. Nevertheless, the standard remains amazing: the dishes don’t want you to think that I left on display would have been more at the event hungry. Far from it: as home at a Michelin starred country I well as the many tempting dishes house hotel than a college dining that fed only my eyes, several indepen- room. dent food companies that supply the The teams had to prepare the usual colleges had set up stalls to advertise eight different ‘classes’. My favou- their wares. I sampled some succulent rite dishes had to be: Wild Rice & venison sausages from the Denham Spring Onion Pancakes with Avocado Estate, several artisan cheeses from Lime Salsa; Filo Tartlets with Bang The Cambridge Food Company, and Bang Chicken; Rare Roast Beef with three peaty game morsels from the Wholegrain Crème Fraiche in Poppy Radwinter Wild Game Company. I also Seed Tartlets (canapés); Seared tried to convince the boys from M&J hand-dived Scallops with Peking Seafood to let me have their whole Duck & Shiitake Mushrooms with Scottish Salmon after the event was Ginger Hoisin & Shallot Dressing over so I could poach it for dinner. My (cold starter); Caramelised Roulade of efforts went sadly unrewarded but Gressingham Duck served on Braised they did give me a few Colchester Bok Choi (hot main); Baked Cheese- Oysters as a consolation prize. cake of Spinach & Blue Cheese served Talking to Mark Hulme, the owner with Stuffed Polenta (hot vegetarian of The Cambridge Food Company, main); Denham Castle loin of lamb and Gilly and Jeremy Kiddy, the lovely couple behind the Radwinter, it became clear to me how important it “Do you even know is for Cambridge colleges to continue supporting local, independent what a ‘farce of wild businesses that pride themselves on

LArA prEnDErgASt using fresh, sustainable products – mushrooms’ is?” even if it means paying that little bit on display were cling-film covered by the Mayor of Cambridge, Council- extra. with a farce of Wild Mushrooms & samples that the 15-strong team of lor Sheila Stuart. Knocking Sidney Despite the huge amount of delicious- Roasted Garlic (U21); a judges led by Peter Griffiths MBE had off their plinth was Nathan Aldous looking food that I couldn’t eat, I left A Chocolate Symphony for Two (cold to choose between. Presumably they from Emmanuel who snapped up the the event contented. We are lucky to sweet); Wattleseed, Apple & Almond were permitted to taste the dishes. I gold with Pan Fried Scallops with be at a university that takes its food Cake (tea cakes); Orange & Kumquat sincerely hope they enjoyed them. Butternut Squash Purée, White Choco- so seriously, even if we rarely get to Viennese (petit fours). In this competition, the Sidney late Foam & Truffled Potato (starter) sample the haute cuisine menus. Next Did that list make your mouth Sussex team are the big cheeses. As followed by Tenderloin of Pork With year, my successor ought to get him water? Is your stomach rumbling at winners of last year’s Stewards’ Cup, Pineapple, Garlic & Pickled Trumpete or herself invited to the Judges & VIP the prospect of sampling even one of they were raring to defend their title. Noir (main). Luncheon that was held this year at these delicacies? Do you even know However, this year a special ingredient Byron Franklin from Queens’ took St Catharine’s. In the meantime, those what a “farce of wild mushrooms” was added into the mixture in the form silver, and Oliver Prince (also from of you at Emmanuel had better keep is? (Me neither, though presum- of a live cookery competition. Although Emmanuel) came in third for the a low profile or else everyone will be ably they are highly amusing). Then this part of the competition was held bronze. Don’t they look happy in their begging for a dinner party at your you’re in the same predicament I back in October at the Cambridge victory photograph? If only they could place. And if you’re all good boys and was: I WASN’T ALLOWED TO EAT Regional College, the prizes were smile like that in the canteen on a girls, a “farce of wild mushrooms” ANYTHING. Rather, the dishes awarded here today at the Guildhall Thursday afternoon, we’d look content might feature on tomorrow’s hall menu. Arts Editors: Eliot D’Silva & Zeljka Marosevic 12th November 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk MAGAZINE 19

stablished in 1995 as a monthly music reviews site by recent Ehigh-school graduate Ryan Schreiber, Pitchfork has grown into a unique cultural voice, offering an intel- ligent and heartfelt look at modern independent music, the bands and characters that populate it and the scenes that grow up around them. Now in its fi fteenth year, Pitchfork is the über-blog: a cultural heavyweight publishing fi ve album reviews a day alongside regular columns about indie music culture, its own video concert series, its own festival and plenty of forthright opinions from the writing staff. Often parodied and frequently controversial, Pitchfork now has the power to exert infl uence over a band’s career. Many point to Arcade Fire as a prime example of this fact: their fi rst record sold out its initial pressing after a Pitchfork review of 9.7/10. “It’s staggering the number of music magazines that are focussed on celebrity first”

“Our responsibility is to our readers fi rst, but it would be ignorant not to consider the broader impact our words can have on artists,” Schreiber Ryan Schreiber graduated in 1995 with nothing but a record collection. says today: “It’s a tough spot to be Perfect Pitch in, because so much hinges on one He speaks to Zygmunt Day about being founder and CEO of writer’s opinion, yet those opinions are Pitchfork, indie’s online powerhouse. the reason people read Pitchfork. To account for that, we generally won’t music that might not sell and artists resonance of music as its most impor- “I hear this a lot,” admits Schreiber, review albums by unestablished artists making decisions not to take the tant feature, free from the need to be “that some people have this impression unless we have something nice to say.” corporate dollar, sites like Pitchfork catchy or accessible, lends the work of that Pitchfork is telling them what This process is more organic than have become the new curators of Pitchfork an element of morality. While they are or aren’t allowed to like. We the major-label model of employing a independent music, receiving hundreds this isn’t necessarily best understood see our role as just providing our own publicist to push a band. “Publicity is of thousands of visits daily. Pitchfork as any kind of struggle against the marketing,” insists Schreiber, “a publi- alone receives half a million. mainstream, it is the need to provide cist may truly believe in the artists The importance of Pitchfork as a a trustworthy alternative, to the they promote, but their pay cheques source of exposure for independent mainstream music press, an alterna- also depend on the success of the artists is perhaps easy to overlook tive based on quality before popularity. opinions, and while those opinions may artists who pay them, whereas Pitch- in the UK, where radio stations like “It’s staggering the number of music be strongly held, they’re not intended fork’s reputation hinges on whether BBC6 Music, BBC Radio 1 and even magazines that are focused on celeb- as any kind of strict regiment. I also our insight and general taste aligns commercial stations like XFM have rity fi rst,” Schreiber objects. “In a lot of think the assumption that Pitchfork’s with our readers.” space for unsigned indie on their cases, artists need to become popular readers are in total lockstep agreement And there are readers. The role of the playlists. This is pretty much unheard of their own accord before they’ll with everything we say is pretty wildly independent music press has greatly of in America, as Schreiber explains: receive any coverage. I’ve always off-base. Even our writers disagree expanded in the last decade, especially “British radio actually fosters indepen- with each other a lot of the time. online. With fi nancially troubled major dent music, which is still incredibly Diversity of taste and opinion fuels labels unwilling to spend large promo- rare in the US. The biggest indepen- “The assumption that creativity: it’s essential to the advance- tional budgets on dent artists will receive airplay, but it’s ment of music.” a shockingly small percentage. It’s not Pitchfork’s readers are in Schreiber’s belief in the advance- that people are any less accepting of ment of music gets to the heart of indie music at all: it’s constantly total lockstep agreement what’s great about Pitchfork. It is being licensed for commercials, with everything we say is a positive endeavour; providing a which kind of says it all. The lucid and balanced view of the music problem is the pay-for-play wildly off-base” it reviews, without descending into system of commercial radio. irreverence or the reactionary tactics Pay-for-play is supposedly illegal, many reviewers use to look like they’re but it’s one of the main ways the felt that one of the major roles of the making a point. Whilst Schreiber is majors retain their chokehold on music press should be to recognise the the fi rst to admit that “we take it all the mainstream, and, of course, under-recognised. If someone contrib- a bit seriously,” it can only be a good commercial radio is haemorrhaging utes something positive to the musical thing that there’s a website that does. listeners on a daily basis, so they’re landscape, to me they’ve earned the Popular, and especially independent, more than happy to cash the cheques. right to exposure.” music has never been more eloquent, Independent labels don’t have the This bottom-up approach to new more challenging - more poetic - than kind of budget it takes to get their music is one of the keynotes of indie it is currently. There has also never artists on the air. And if they did, most rock culture. Yet it often means that been more of it available. In the face of of them are morally opposed to how many of the bands that are fêted this breadth of music both online and the operation is structured in the fi rst on the indie circuit are little-known offl ine, it’s necessary to turn to Pitch- Original handwritten place.” outside its boundaries. Some snarky fork, where good, earnest critics help review for Pavement’s Disillusionment with this kind of online commentators sneer at this to guide a listener from the lacklustre Slanted and Enchanted backhanded corporate dealing in mentality, deriding Pitchfork as a and pretentious to the rare and worth- (www.pitchfork.com) the music business, and a desire to website that tells cliquey hipsters what while gold. recognise the emotional and cultural to listen to. 12th November 2010 Arts Editors: Eliot D’Silva & Zeljka Marosevic 20 MAGAZINE www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]

Cambridge music: ‘There’s something in the air.’ ‘Bring ’m full of dust and guitars,”,said “ISyd Barrett, of Cambridge and the back early, more experimen- MADELEINE tal and cosmic Pink MORLEY Floyd (1). Barrett is rooted in the intellec- tual and spiritual side of Cambridge, the the Cambridge of art and innovation. Cambridge, so local, and yet so univer- sal, is built on dust, and made out of dust, dust that creeps into us, that eventually blows out of Cambridge, porn into the cities; changing reality itself (2). Barrett was jagged, nervy and cryptic, fi nding himself in a strange, turbulent place perfectly suited to and innovative ideas. These took the form of music, using guitars and words to examine his state of mind and environment. There’s something in pickled the air in Cambridge, all that mental activity: Syd Barrett turned it into sound. Nick Drake responded to this magic too, and wrote and sang intensely sharks.’ sensitive and refl ective songs with the help of his Caius colleague, string The Turner Prize arranger Robert Kirby (3). These gorgeous songs responded to the was once the most drama of living in Cambridge, and carry with them an atmosphere you divisive prize in the can still sense here. There’s lots of great music out there art world. Charlotte today that seems connected to the Kelly laments this restlessness of Barrett, to the probing, Dexter Dalwood’s Death of David Kelly self-consciousness of Drake, which year’s pale offerings is rooted in the wider tradition of Cambridge, in its dust (4), its river (5), in the craving for knowledge and he indignant visitor was once the concrete wall of a Middle Eastern particularly sure why the artists felt understanding. as much a staple of the Turner compound, a painfully forced metaphor that Marker’s series, made in 1989, TPrize as the pretentious descrip- for the rather tired theme of American was relevant to now. tions and overpriced reproductions. imperialism. After two rooms of uninspiring art “So local and yet so Round she went (it was usually a ‘she’) I was relieved to see that the Turner Angela de la Cruz’ Super Clutter XXL unfavourably comparing the works on Prize staple of pretentious curatorial (Pink and Brown) came as a startling universal” display with the daubs of an infant descriptions lives in the second room, revelation. Taking a canvas painted relative and disdaining any art which displaying work by the Otolith Group. in brown and angel delight pink she New bands are constantly emerging had the affront to be conceptual. In The Otolith Group, I was informed, had so crushed the wooden canvas with a focus on art and experimen- quite a few years, when work seemed “question the nature of documentary stretcher as to render it into the crude tation, refl ecting the tension and to have been selected to shock, one history across time by using material shape of a human body. Any girl who pressure of the times (6). The couldn’t help agreeing with her. In found within a range of disciplines”. In has ever tried to force herself into a escapist pop we hear at Cindies is most years the affronted reaction of pretension this description paled into dress will recognise the impression of a fun but all great pop is essentially visitors was rather more entertain- insignifi cance when compared with bust which is spilling out in soft canvas based on experimental ideas (7). If ing than the Prize itself. So it is with the turgidly awful quotes on the wall: folds while the taut brown canvas of that dries up, great pop music dries great sadness that I must report that “The mindlessness of power sometimes the lower body splits, revealing ‘knees’ up. I suppose what I’m missing in the Prize-going crowd of this Tuesday creates a memory from what was made out of the wooden frame. For the current presence of music in afternoon were enjoying themselves meant to be amnesia.” Answers on a Super Clutter XXL (Pink and Brown) Cambridge is something that connects no end. For this year the shortlisted postcard please. alone de la Cruz deserves to win. to the University’s commitment to artists all seemed to have created All this hot air served to obscure Susan Philipsz’s work, Lowlands, newness and radicalism. ‘proper’ art with ‘proper’ themes – and Inner Time of Television, a simultane- where three unsynchronised speakers I think of Geoff Travis, founder of gosh it is dull. ous showing on 13 TV sets of The Owl’s played the artist singing a Scottish Rough Trade (8), who studied English Dexter Dalwood comes the closest of ballad, really summed up the Turner at Churchill in the 70s and supplied all the artists to courting controversy “There was nothing Prize this year. There was nothing records for the weekly night, Pav, in his painting Death of David Kelly, in particularly wrong with it and there inspiring a wave of new and exciting which a tree and log teeter precariously particularly wrong with it, was nothing particularly right with scenes. Pop is fun, but it’s at its best against a uniform blue background. it. There were no disasters à la Hirst when the fun combines strangeness (Yes: move aside paedophilia and and nothing particularly at the Wallace collections, but equally, and beauty, mystery and intelligence elephant dung, this year’s Turner right with it.” with the exception of Super Clutter (9). As Syd Barrett said, it’s good if a Prize for most controversial picture XXL (Pink and Brown), one suspects song has more than one meaning (10). goes to a tree.) It’s a highly profi ciently that there was nothing that will be painted tree, and similar profi ciency is remembered in ten years’ time. So I (1) ‘Dominoes’ – Syd Barrett (2) Dust apparent in White Flag. Yet Dexter’s Legacy, Chris Marker’s 13-part televi- make a plea I thought I would never Cloud – Bear in Heaven (3) ‘Place to Be’ – style, of incorporating pieces of found sion documentary series on Ancient make: enough of this dullness, bring Nick Drake (4) ‘Infra 5’ – Max Richter (5) iconic art history imagery into new Greece. There was something rather back the porn and pickled sharks. ‘Riverside’ – Agnes Obel (6) ‘Lucky 1’ – Avey settings, serves to create a paint-by- fascinating about watching the rows Tare (7) ‘XXXO’ – M.I.A (8) ‘Landslide’ – Cabaret Voltaire (9) ‘Universal Mind’ – numbers approach to political allegory. of expert talking heads as each spoke The Turner Prize exhibition will run Nite Jewel (10) ‘See Emily Play’ – Pink In White Flag, Jasper John’s 1955 on a different aspect of Greek culture. until 3rd January and the winner will Floyd White Flag is metamorphosed into Yet enjoyable though this was, I wasn’t be announced on 6th December. Magazine Editors: Alice Hancock & Charlotte Wu 12th November 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk MAGAZINE 21 My degree: Music Food and Drink hat do Mozart and LL ent ways (this is partly down a 24-hour-long DJ set that through my LETTICE FRANKLIN Cool J have in com- to both me and Tom speaking all builds up to one solitary old fi rst-gen- Wmon? I sample them French). Now admittedly I drop, at which point every- eration iPod. love the University Library. I both on my new mixtape, would never introduce them thing stops and I just read The result love literally everything about in defence of dance. Being to each other (I don’t know out the Ten Commandments should be I it. I love the new lockers. I able to create fresh sounds Ryan for starters) but they’re in an African accent whilst something love the plastic bags, and have is exactly why I moved to still excellent lads. fi reworks go off and hopefully between a plans to stockpile them so that Cambridge from the Brighton One of the great things perceptions are shifted. dog riff- I can transport my possessions College of music/beats. The about coming to the Univer- Being at King’s is also ing on a to the old folks’ home in them, conformity there was stifl ing, sity of Cambridge is that I’ve perfect for me because I get trombone 50 years down the line. I love and I’m not talking about fi nally started DJ-ing prop- access to the world’s coolest and all of the view of allotments from the Stifl er’s mum. I don’t want erly. I jockey those beats like musical instrument. No, I’m the Stars windows of the Fifth Floor, North to be just another brick in a horseman collecting beet- not talking about the organ; Wars Front. I love the fact that I now, a pile of bricks, and at the roots. I do alternate nights I’m talking about the Chapel sound- after weeks of wandering, know University of Cambridge I’ve (as in ‘cool’, not ‘every other’) itself. If you strike it hard tracks. where the Fifth Floor, North been able to branch out like at Kambar under the pseu- enough with a ‘cello you get Front is, and even where the book an oak or elm. Take my social donym ‘pseudo-nymph’. I try the most accurate top F in 212:c.a.38582.r.3:fl k.99893 is. circle: one of my best mates, to fuse house and anti-house Europe. For the King’s Affair Most of all I love the Tea Room. Tom, is a choral scholar. An- techno in an effort to cancel this year I’m planning to rig My breathtakingly serious Classics other, Ryan, is a drug dealer, them both out and just be the organ and Chapel up teacher at school rarely deigned

wanted by the police. I com- left with silence. My ultimate to an antique vinyl player KATE JONES to talk to me; however, he did municate to them in differ- goal for this year is to host and run a distortion matrix give me two life-changing pieces of advice: a) it is nicer to have brown sugar on your porridge than Atoms – very small. Too small? Hard to say. Professor McGinter likes them and he is a tall, honey, and b) whatever else you do LECTURE NOTES: handsome man. If I can’t see something, can it be real? E.g. fairies, goblins, love and the like. in Cambridge, spend a few hours ATOMS Must ask Mum about some of this stuff. Other big issues: who would win in a fi ght between giving strangers lingering looks in Einstein and Crick? I shouldn’t dare to say. Both good scientists though obvs. TBH I’d hate the UL Tea Room. Flirting aside, to see either of those fi ne fellows decked out on the canvas soaking it through with the the Tea Room is a warm hub of crimson stuff. Gosh, Professor McGinter’s looking at me! What a compliment! His grasp of non-whispered conversation after Empiricism is excellent so the subjects he chooses to feast his eyes on are really treated to a day in the Library, which, even something special. His lips are moving like two waves effortlessly easing their way through I will admit, does bear some very a lovely ocean (his body). Imagine if I won a Nobel Prize! That would be mad! Maybe I could slight resemblance to a prison, and work with Prof. McGinter on something – atoms perhaps, or something bigger. Personally occasionally leaves one feeling a I’ve always been a fan of the Bunsen burner. little low. At such points one can identify with Toad of Wind in the Willows, who fi nds himself “immured in a dark and noisome dungeon”. Toad’s Quoted Unquote Fifth-Week blues are elevated, his jollity restored, in perhaps the best More witticisms from the mouths of the famous. description of food in the history of English literature, by the arrival of tea: “a cup of fragrant tea... and a plate piled up with very hot but- “I’m just glad they didn’t notice I had a tered toast, cut thick, very brown on child ticket!” both sides, with the butter running – ROSA PARKS through the holes in it in great golden drops, like honey from the honeycomb. The smell of that but- tered toast simply talked to Toad... of warm kitchens, of breakfasts on bright frosty mornings, of cosy “I promise the ending is worth it.” parlour fi resides on winter evenings, – GOD when one’s ramble was over and slippered feet were propped on the fender; of the purring of contented cats, and the twitter of sleepy canar- ies.” Wow, eh. Such a passage leaves one determined to appreciate life’s small pleasures: to, Nigella-style, “It was like that when I got here!” fi nd a raison d’être in heart-attack – HURRICANE KATRINA inducing “great golden drops” of butter, to fi nd time to make the perfect Welsh cakes. (I wanted to give a recipe for ‘very hot buttered toast’, but some fools have been making pointed remarks about the level of cooking my recipes “I was PRESIDENT?!” require...) – GEORGE W. BUSH 500g fl our, 250g butter, 250g sugar, 75 g raisins, 1 large egg 1. Rub the butter into the fl our. Add sugar and raisins and mix together well. 2. Beat and add egg. Mix to form a dough 3. Roll out and “Chill out guys, it’s not going to cut into circles with pastry cutter EAT me, is it?” The Varsitorialist or the rim of a glass. 4. Cook on – JONAH Malthe Rasmussen, 1st-year Philosophy, Emmanuel lightly-greased frying pan for a few “I’m wearing Raybans, a Ute Ploier jumper, and Cheap Monday minutes on each side until lightly jeans.” IF YOU’D LIKE TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED BY THE VARSITORIALIST, EMAIIL [email protected] browned. 12th November 2010 Reviews Editor: Julia Carolyn Lichnova 22REviEws www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]

album  reviews Jesus Chapel Sessions Katya Herman attends the twelfth fornightly, candle-lit evening of casual, ‘An introduction to... Elliot Smith’ multigenre music-making ELLiOT sMiTH  was delighted that the these two concerts. They of sensitivity and emotional power. Chapel Sessions treated us present essentially similar His choice to have the strings play Ito a performance of Strauss’s material in terms of style, senza vibrato at the end enabled Metamorphosen, not only because structure, gesture and so Strauss’s crushing harmony to it’s a magnificent piece, and on, performed by largely the evoke its stark elegiac intention fully; provided the most sumptuous 27 same group of string players he allowed the moment of silence minutes of my day, but because and for the same price (free), near the end to soar. This was the I was struck by it as a point of but do so in very different most striking moment for me, and it It’s been seven years since the comparison with a lunchtime ways. passing of American indie folk concert I went to last week, in This was largely to do singer Elliott Smith: a gifted which the CUCO Chamber Ensem- with intimacy. A problem yet tormented songwriter best ble played Schoenberg’s Verklärte often found with concerts is Carlos del Cueto known for providing the sound- Nacht. that they leave the listener track to Good Will Hunting. Hold on to your hats. Both feeling too far away from allowed the Citing Bob Dylan, Simon and Verklärte Nacht and Metamor- the action and therefore Garfunkel and the Beatles as phosen are large-scale chamber distanced and disengaged. moment of silence his inspiration, this album is works, the former an orchestral The Chapel Sessions a crafted collection of Smith’s amplification of an original string preserve the traditional near the end to works that encourages the sextet and the latter a chamber concert format, in that there truly soar unfamiliar listener to explore his work for 23 solo strings. In spite is clapping, bowing and a influential music. ‘Ballad of Big of being composed almost half seated audience, but you certainly didn’t require any previous Nothing’ sets the melancholic a century apart, the two works can sit on the floor, right up musical knowledge. “The nice sounds tone for Smith’s whispered, belong to the same late Romantic close, in a way which affirms make me think of something else”. brooding ‘Alameda’ with its world. For the young Schoenberg the collaborative implica- Fair play, E.M. Forster. beautiful multi-tracked harmo- of 1899, this was a world from tion of the word ‘session’, Many of the people I spoke nies. Intimate lyrics wrecked by which he would soon depart to and in the hushed, candlelit to after the performance were personal demons, the angst-filled explore a new musical language, conveying great warmth with environment that is so conducive to surprisingly keen to establish that ‘Needle in the Hay’ and the raw whilst for Strauss in 1945 it chamber-scale purity. The titles introspective reflection. they were non-, un-, a-musical. I ‘Last Call’ are perhaps the most offered comfort and reassur- of both works refer to a process of There’s something about public- would wager that many people heart-wrenching tracks. This ance, an affirmation of traditional transformation and transfigura- ity with spaced-out capitals that leaving the Chapel Sessions won’t is an understated compilation values, and a statement of mourn- tion, blissfully appropriate for lures in a particular crowd, and at remember the name of the piece, or album that fully deserves time ing for a lost musical culture; one the Chapel Sessions I always notice who wrote it. But it’s important to and appreciation. jenna corderoy which he felt lay scattered amidst the a lot of looking around to see who’s remember that this isn’t a problem. rubble of the Munich Opera House. “Finely-spun who and sitting where. Happily, once I like concerts to be informative, Both works unfold in a single, the lights go down, it can only be but this is a personal preference Down There continuous movement, last approxi- counterpoint, about the music. Carlos del Cueto’s and it’s just as important that AvEy TARE mately half an hour (what’s a decision to conduct without the score the experience of listening to  few minutes between friends?) conveying great was in keeping with the intimacy of magnificent music be just that: with sugary harmonies and busy the event itself, and his interpreta- an experience, and one worth but finely-spun counterpoint, warmth” tion was entirely convincing in terms remembering.

TOM pOwELL jazz everyone’s cup of tea, and the set finished with much of the audience having crept off elsewhere. Avey Tare is a member of Animal Clare Jazz Collective, the band behind giddy, rapturous and wonderful presents: Merriweather Post Pavillion “Jon Scott buoyed (2009). Down There contains some of Merriweather’s sonic Paragon & the band on a tropes – prominent beats, trippy loops, tribal experimental- Churchill Big wave of percussive ism – but these elements are more intangible. This album is Band Quartet versatility” distant, introspective; the wide- eyed wonder of Merriweather is Clare Cellars Paragon’s appearance at the dampened, muffled. Its rhythms London Jazz Festival was sadly are central but jerky; nervous tics  cancelled due to an administra- rather than foot-stomping primal churchill Big Band Quartet: “polished and energetic” tive cock-up, but this gig marks dancing. ‘Lucky 1’ contains bass hile other students acclaimed Anglo-German quartet, and turns through cascading the beginning of a tour which will frequencies found in the dirtiest swotted out their Sunday Paragon, supported by Churchill saxophone cadenzas, tumbling take the band through Germany, dubstep; ‘Cemeteries’ is a calm Wnight’s workload or Big Band Quartet. from boppish dissonance to from major jazz clubs to rural meditative wash, tempering the lashed up the swap-parlours of The boys from Chu-Jazz punky syncopation, then breaking barn dances. Paragon was yet jittery clatter around it. The Cambridge, a sizeable crowd kicked off a tightly sprung set down to spacious, mesmerising another top-notch act for Clare Beach Boys-style close harmony sprawled and snuggled amongst with a preponderance of Wayne ballads. The assured and almost Jazz, whose next night will feature is present but ghostly, as if sung the dimly-lit vaults of the notori- Shorter and EST tunes. Driven cheeky communication between Groove Cartel on 21st November. in a vast watery cavern, somehow ous subterranean home of Clare by Ed Blake’s hard-hitting cubop Ehwald’s lyrical saxophone and edward macdonald alternating between nightmar- Jazz, for a night of four-by-four polyrhythms, Pete Aisher’s Athur Lea’s Rhodes keys was a TOM pOwELL ish and soporific. Difficult stuff, entertainment from highly laid-back slap-bass provided a dialogue of bold, melodic state- certainly – but after some initial dynamic groove over which Chris ment, with Matthias Nowak’s effort, it really is entrancing. McMurran’s piano could glide; warm, lilting double bass provid- Sam gould accompanying them was James ing snug support. Jon Scott (of “Paragon proceeded Brady whose furious, high-octave Kairos 4tet fame) displayed finely trumpet runs shimmered through tuned dynamic control and a to launch us into the music like fireworks. Polished colourful rhythmic imagination; and energetic, the band sat back his controlled frenzy buoyed the Back to Basics a distinct musical for some snappy drum solos before band on a wave of gently undulat- finishing on a high, leaving the ing percussive versatility. Indeed, realm, coursing audience primed for the main act. at their most dynamic moments, Back to Basics now has its own Led by charmingly goofy, the four men resembled a sea website! Check it out on unexpected twists Berlin-born saxophonist Peter anemone, its limbs weaving as http://varsity.co.uk/basics Ehwald, Paragon proceeded to part of one body swaying to one and turns” launch us into a distinct musical groove. realm, coursing unexpected twists However, avant-garde is not Paragon “launched us into a distinct musical realm” Reviews Editor: Julia Carolyn Lichnova 12th November 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk REVIEWS 23

FILM FILM For the Love of The Darjeeling Overlooked Film Limited Following last week’s general Howard Theatre, Downing Christ’s Films, Christ’s Overlooked, here’s a more specifi c   rundown. This week: ALICE BOLLAND the top fi ve under- Robert Bresson’s Pickpocket (1959) Wes Anderson’s The Darjeeling Limited 59) rated fi ght scenes from across the ursting from - while the same police inspector hrist’s Films may not Anderson has revealed that the board, be they lightsaber, sword, the brand who released him in the fi rst place provide the usual HD quality inspiration for this fi lm includes the hammer, pen. Stepping away Bnew, pink and awaits his confession. Cour technologically advanced work of Satyajit Ray, The River by from the obvious all-out action pretentious Howard The movie’s dialogue may culture prepares us to expect. Jean Renoir and documentaries on fi ght sequences – Rocky, Rambo, Theatre at Downing have been a little stilted (GCSE However, the grainy images from a India made by Louis Malle. Touch- Kill Bill – here’s your pick of the College is a budding French would not quite see you 35mm fi lm projector help to create ing, honest and highly amusing, very best man-to-man combat PHIL MAUGHAN fi lm society showing through: there were no pantalons a sense of cinematic atmosphere. and featuring some outstanding scenes, both choreographically esoteric and challeng- or pamplemousses to be seen), but Christ’s has maintained the society acting and beautiful cinematogra- and cinematically. ing fi lms that are, if you’ll take the the chap playing guitar on my way since 1978; this Sunday’s showing phy, the fi lm itself deserves nothing time to look, a real treat. in to the College and the friendly was The Darjeeling Limited, the less than fi ve stars. e Phantom Menace – They’re old, they’re black and chat I had with my fellow movie- 2007 quirky classic directed by However, though the choice of Darth Maul v. Obi-Wan & white, they’re even – God help us goers warmed up the space and Wes Anderson. fi lm was commendable, not many Qui-Gon all – French. But don’t be put-off, more than compensated for any This inspired portrait of complex people were there to see it as as 5Very probably the only reason movie-goers: they’re also bloody awkward moments. family life follows the Whitman only about a quarter of the theatre ever to watch The Phantom good, intelligently chosen and make The Society’s next outing will family. Three brothers Francis, was fi lled. Also discouraging was Menace. Darth Maul is the for a refreshing change. be Terrence Malick’s badass Peter and Jack (Owen Wilson, the fact that no food or drink was ultimate Sith and this is without Last Saturday, while most of Badlands on 27th November, Adrien Brody and Jason Schwartz- allowed into the space, a major doubt the best fi ght scene from all you were bopping away, a small starring Martin Sheen and Sissy man) meet together for the fi rst issue for those of us who love six movies. Double-ended lightsa- group of us sat beneath the Spacek as young lovers who head time since their father’s death. ber? Oh yes! Neo-Classical extravagance of out to murder their way across The fi lm follows their expedition Downing’s theatre-cum-cinema America. through India and their quest for Snatch – One-Punch to watch Robert Bresson’s 1959 spiritual fulfi lment, as well as their “The grainy images Mickey v. Good Night classic Pickpocket, heralded by mother’s approval. We watch intri- from a 35mm Anderson Susan Sontag and Martin Scorsese “Heralded by Susan cate relationships develop between 4Guy Ritchie’s greatest achieve- as (I’m paraphrasing here) “proper the brothers, receive an inside view film projector ment. Brad Pitt’s pikey boxer wicked like”. In fact, Pickpocket Sontag as ‘proper of their fl aws, and discover issues attempts to hold himself back was a major infl uence on Taxi with which they fi nd themselves help to create a in this excessively violent and Driver, quite possibly the best fi lm wicked like’” trying to come to terms. graphic bare-knuckle match. The ever made, I hyperbole you not. This fi lm offers a unique, bluntly choreography is great, as is the The movie is Bresson’s take In contrast to the bigger and honest portrayal of human nature, sense of cinematic narration by Vinnie Jones. on Crime and Punishment. A better known fi lms being shown at but also excites a need to travel, a atmosphere” Parisian down-and-out takes up other societies across Cambridge, wanderlust. Darjeeling depicts a House of Flying Daggers – pickpocketing as a profession, For The Love will likely only ever lively and colourful side to India copious amounts of popcorn to Jin v. Leo but is caught on his fi rst attempt. attract small audiences. But this which is rich in culture, showing munch on during a movie. This fi nal battle is visually Having been released, he hones his isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If the country in a hectic yet incred- This society offers classic fi lms 3stunning as well as incredibly craft with a bunch of fellow thieves, you don’t fancy cross-dressing and ible light. Adding to the casual on Thursday evenings and newer moving. The stunt work and falling in love with his mother’s vomiting on a friend of a Saturday beauty of the fi lm is one of Ander- or re-released fi lms on Sunday choreography are exceptional, neighbour Annette en route - all night, head down to Downing to son’s favourite themes, that of a evenings, perfect for watching a but what’s more impressive is the the while growing increasingly see the kind of fi lms fi lmmakers privileged class with their timeless great fi lm on a quiet night in. level of emotion throughout the aware that he is being followed like to watch. fashion and strange interests. STEPH LODOLA scene, so fi tting for the climax of such a beautiful fi lm. ARTS a unifying design, incorporating LITERATURE found in scenery turn into scenery Grosse Pointe Blank – set, dancer, costume and music found in faces. Martin Blank v. Felix La Diaghilev and the into one powerful whole. Harness- Heart of Darkness The entire graphic novel is Poubelle ing the most formidable talents presented in sepia-tinged black and 2Who would have thought John Golden Age of the of the day from Stravinsky to (graphic novel) white; nohing like the boldness of Cusack could pull off suave Poulenc, Fokine to Balanchine, Persepolis. Most of the illustration hitman? This is one of the best Ballets Russes enriched with infl uences absorbed David Zane Mairowitz, is done in pencil, often crossing into non-action movie, hand-to-hand from their peripatetic existence, Catherine Anyango inky territory, where bold smudges fi ght scenes, with Cusack and Victoria & Albert Museum Diaghilev had the Wagnerian are reminiscent of cartographical opponent (stuntman Benny gesamtkunstwerk dressed in inkblots or violent blood splatters. Urquidez) pulling some epic  virulent Slavic colours, dainty  Intense, charcoal portraiture and moves ricocheting off the lockers neo-Rococo bundles, or mad sketching are used alongside, the in a typical American high school Constructionist fancies. Léon former being one of the novel’s corridor. iaghilev presided over Bakst’s costumes are masterpieces ’ve always had trouble with most effective illustrative skills. It one of the most extraor- of extraordinary colours and cuts, Marlon Brando’s perfor- shouldn’t escape our attention that Ddinary companies ever which play with the exotic, erotic, Imance in Apocalypse Now, the narrator, Marlowe, is given created. Encouraging a formi- folkloric Russia, while Picasso’s whose Kurtz is far from Conrad’s Conrad’s own countenance. dable troupe of dancers, designers outfi ts for Parade are as provoca- bed-ridden, emaciated ivory dealer. The written style of this work and musicians, the impresario tive as Satie’s score – a plié in a Unlike the fi lm, the graphic novel is just as brief as that of the and the Ballets Russes stormed six-foot box was no doubt taxing. offers a more than fi tting visual book: in place of broad dialogues, Europe and America, creating the After ogling at Natalia Goncharo- interpretation of him, his universe- individual lines are singled out and 20th-century avant-garde on the va’s enormous backcloth for The encompassing stare depicted in a placed on a pedestal of dramatic way. This exhibition takes us on a manner that live action could never Oldboy – Oh Dae-Su v. e chronological journey from Nicolai manage. Corridor Legat and Marta Baldina’s Pas de “Bakst’s costumes There is a hyper-reality on which This is just an incredible Deux through to the humorous, illustrator Catherine Anyango 1piece of cinematography. Protago- bizarre and beautiful end of the capitalises, bringing forth the nist Choi Min-sik takes on an Ballet Russes in 1929, and fi nally, are masterpieces paradox that sometimes illustra- entire corridor of armed men to the present day. tion is the best way to depict using just a claw hammer and Stirring chords from Strav- of extaordinary real life. The literal animation 13 years of pent-up rage. The insky’s The Rite of Spring – the of inanimate objects is rendered choreography is exceptional, and music that caused a riot – jab their colours and cuts” beautifully, the “carcass” of an the linear format of the fi ght is way through the exhibition. The old steam engine being a perfect captivating as Dae-Su works his constant musical din is wearing, Firebird Suite (marred by the example. Events are frequently image. Undoubtedly a vast part way through his attackers with though it is forgiven when one sees naff iPod-video montage projected depicted from a bird’s-eye view, of Darkness’s literary beauty is unfaltering determination. the accompanying dances, not least around it) and Picasso’s equally huge promoting a sense of two-dimen- forgone, but this is inevitable in the fascinating juxtaposition of a backcloth for Le Train Bleu, we can sional progression along a map, and such a densely poetic novel. The recreation of Nijinsky’s premiere safely say the curators have shown the landscapes we see from this lines that have been chosen remain of the Rite, and Pina Bausch’s that though the impresario is dead perspective resemble some great powerful, particularly alongside achingly powerful production. and his troupe dispersed, their animal’s skin. The pareidolia found highly charged pictures; in this What the exhibition excel- legacy is as bright as their costumes in the original work is also a strong way, Conrad’s literary beauty is lently conveys is that the Ballets and as thriving as their dance. feature of this book, so strong as left intact and in charge. Russes’ performances were about YATES NORTON to sometimes reverse itself: faces ANGUS MACDONALD 12th November 2010 Theatre Editor: Edward Herring 24THEATRE www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]

one ludicrously half-hearted fi ght Fired Up scene, but then I can hardly blame them with the script at hand. The ADC Lateshow actors’ performances earned the View from the (until Sat 13th) review’s solitary star. Groundlings  Currently, I am feeling very fi red up, and I’m not usually one to feel a sense of outrage at how bad have never been less amused, something is. I am so disappointed entertained, or interested than because I expect something with I when having to sit through and more rigour and bite about it from review this, Annabel Banks’s The an award-winning piece of new Other Prize-winning play Fired writing in Cambridge. Especially Up. The play is about two female from the faculty-funded, Mar- friends and two male friends deal- lowe Society-run ‘Other Prize’ ing with the break-up between which supposedly seeks out the one of said males and one of said best material, and has previously females, all of which has occurred put-on productions of plays by under mysterious circumstances. qualitatively better writers such as EDWARD HERRING The play seemed to be about a Freddy Syborn and Jess Hyslop. his week, faithful reader, melange of growing up, love and The only award this play should I have had censorship violent relationships. Tenforced on me by the dic- By describing what happens, tatorial boot-print of Josef ‘The I’m only fulfi lling my professional Bradfordian Boxer’ Pitt-Rashid. obligation as a reviewer to give When the actors Last week, while I was at my the reader a taste for the content. washing-up work swiping away I’d rather not think about it any- were playing the troubling scum from Varsity’s more, to be frank. Apparently the collection of mugs, he approached audience were meant to fi nd this children, the me with his beloved dukes drawn vacuous, rubbishy plot interesting, and a fi ery look in his eye. “Look script was less Herring,” he growled, “you dis- like me and I sure-as-hell hate transparently awful. your wordy guts, but next week I I’m all for working want you to mention some plays, have won is an award for being y’ hear me?” I meekly attempted through ‘issues’ in the biggest shit in the bowl that is rebellion: “But Joe,” I squealed, Cambridge new writing. “I mean, come on, give me a plays, but the topic The winner of Fired Up will break won’t you, I’m cleaning up really the ultimate insult. Secondly assessments. When the actors have garnered £750 for this stub of here.” “Well I’ll clean YOU up if here was dropped (and paradoxically) it’s an awful, were playing children, the script a piece. At a £5 entrance fee for a you don’t start doing your damn awful play. It has nothing to say was less transparently awful. It student (which I thankfully didn’t job right!” I squinted: “What out of nowhere in about anything at all, and when it gave the actors more opportunity have to pay as a reviewer) that does that even mean?” Then, does try to say something it inex- to be less hateworthy. All of the means you pay a pound for every before he had the chance to erupt an otherwise chatty pertly shoves its fl accid point down actors were perfectly loveable seven minutes of this thoroughly in bellicose fury, I submitted, your throat. One example is the as children, but their grown-up enraging piece. If you’re not a stu- assessing his size in comparison conversation. discussion of one sensitive issue characters were all detestable and dent, you get even less than seven to mine. which, at multiple points in the uninteresting. Maybe I just prefer minutes for every British pound I wrote this as he loomed over but the unspeakably poor script play, is raised apropos of nothing. stupid children to stupid adults. you spend. Every little helps. my shoulder: and lukewarm acting left me with I’m all for working through ‘issues’ Mark Wartenberg was fre- And though apologies are per- So this coming week Cam- nothing more than acute feelings in plays and conversation, but the quently watchable as he wrung the haps in order for the lurid nature Dram winds us round its of anger. topic was dropped out of nowhere dregs of comedy from this nebulous of this article, it seemed to me that creaking Catherine-wheel of Firstly, the play clocked in at an into an otherwise chatty conversa- script. He played a very amusing only intestinal imagery seemed tedium and torpor. The fresh- underfed 35 minutes. Those 35 min- tion. Thirdly, the production itself line in deadpan. Elsewhere, the appropriate and visceral enough ers have been given a distinctly utes felt like an overlong waste of isn’t exactly great. other actors were merely alright. for such a spleen-inciting evening. past-its-sell-by-date script in the time. That it ended when it did was Time for the rare positive They lacked energy, particularly in MICHAEL CHRISTIE shape of Noel Coward’s Rela- tive Values (ADC Main, Tues 16th-Sat 20th). Though I’m sure they’ll give it a good sniff and song (which both parties knew was talent. This is not a criticism, it is learning how to act. sift out the granules of hardened View from the rather pointless), and then politely just the case. They are just a bunch This said, the most important dairy from this yoghurty froth- sent me on my way. of people who are willing to throw thing I am taking with me is the of-a-play, it seems a predictably Graduate When I started to give auditions a themselves into things and are friendships I made through the- Cowardly kind of commission proper bash I also began to create persistent with it. The Cambridge atre. Instead of waiting around in this term leading up to The Celeste Dring opportunities for myself. One of theatre scene suggests a hierarchy for great parts I am trying to put 2010th Noel. my favourite shows was a small that does not really exist: no one is together shows with like-minded DNA (ADC Late Tues 16th- collaborative project at the Judith an authority on anything, everyone people whilst scrambling around Sat-20th) may manage to E. Wilson drama studio. This sort is just learning from each other. for the cash to realise it. But this carbonate in everyone’s fl at, of show was always the most frus- Twelfth Night, the most recent is just what suits me. Truthfully fl avourless heads a little fi zz of trating and diffi cult. The rehearsal Marlowe Society show, was the my skin is still not thick enough to interest. Specifi cally for those process was draining and it was only play in which I was directed step on other girls for that walk-on who might have any interest in was surprised when I was hard to persuade people to come by a professional and was my fi rst part in Holby City, but I don’t do theatre, plays or whatever other asked to write this. In compari- along to something out of the way. and only real insight into actually well in hospitals anyway, and doubt Bacchic rites or animal sacri- Ison with a lot of people doing The fl ipside of this was that we that Patsy Kensit and I would have fi ces that go on at Acting’s Death theatre in Cambridge I have been could devise whatever we wanted swathes in common. Centre. Of course, in both cases involved in a modest number of without having to negotiate a load I am still fi guring out if I want there’ll be the usual intimidating shows. However if Cambridge has of red tape. to pursue theatre as a career new talents strutting their young taught me anything, it is to bullshit Doing shows at the ADC was nice long-term, but if it turns out I do, stuff before the haggard, aging on matters I know relatively little because you were guaranteed an Cambridge has given me a few has-beens of CamDram. about. I hope a little of this is useful. audience, but the unsung projects practice runs before I get thrown As he became more trusting of My initial experiences of audi- were freer and defi nitely a steeper to the lions. my manhandled return-to-form tioning were not smooth. I went learning curve for me. It made he left me to my own devices, to few auditions in my fi rst year. me think hard about the kind of leaving off with the intention The ones that I did go to I often theatre I might be interested in of gormandising a cow’s torso opened with a ‘bit’ about how I had making in the future. and practicing his punching- not done much drama before, and If I had got into the mindset through-walls party trick. With then closed with an apology about sooner, I would have treated Cam- a newfound sense of freedom the fact that I had probably not bridge like a theatrical playground: Celeste appeared in various I swiftly began bashing out a delivered the speech in the desired a space to fall on my face without productions while at Cambridge few hundred words recounting way. I auditioned for the Footlights consequence. I do not think that including Film Night, the Marlowe the time I talked about SIMON panto and got a recall. However, I the Footlights Committee are the Society’s Twelfth Night and CAST’s HAINES with a rickets-riddled, misunderstood the email for said funniest people in Cambridge, or touring production of The Tempest, glass-eyed (and tense-balled) recall, showed up fi ve hours late, that those cast in the ‘big’ produc- and directed a production of porter. Alas, this report was at which point they let me sing a tions are the only actors with Macbett. rumbled by the beef-invigorated Rashid and got deleted post GUIDE TO STAR RATINGS:  Stag Night Ending in Multiple STIs  Stag Night with Father-in-Law Getting an STI  Trainers haste. Policy  Lads Who Don't Say ‘Banter'  If Carlsberg Did Playwriting Prizes... Theatre Editor: Edward Herring 12th November 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk THEATRE 25

that brought the house down as he Bouncers –The lurched across the stage, clutch- ing the hapless Alex Gomar in a Remix merciless bear hug. Jamie Hansen Incoming Corpus Playroom is just a little too petite to be fully (until Sat 13th) convincing as a bouncer, but the quality of his acting certainly mea-  sured up. His debut performance in Cambridge shows huge promise ccording to several sources as he snaps ably between the mea- (Wikipedia being the most sured stiffness of Ralph, and Sexy Areliable), John Godber is the Suzy’s giddy promiscuity. third most-performed playwright in Whilst the play never strays Britain. Peopled by binge-drinking too far from its inherently light- stereotypes, Bouncers – The Remix hearted outlook, Jimmy Murray offers an unfl inching, challenging as Lucky Eric serves to balance survey of modern youth culture as the comic centre of the piece, as he seen through the omniscient eyes of observes with incredulous despair four male bouncers. a society caught in an endless A regular feature on the GCSE doorway. Shortly afterwards, they working class, whilst incorporat- cycle of self-annihilation. At times Drama repertoire, the play looks marched inside to assume their ing unmistakable elements from franticly nasal, at others almost and smells like an adolescent the- roles onstage. A fun, thoughtful the student scene in Cambridge musical, his gorgeous Scouse atre exercise, and is now rarely soundtrack drives this energetic – the parodies of laddish initiation accent brings extra authenticity he public readings of performed in such a way as to sug- production, which requires the ceremonies were absolutely on the to a role he plays with tremendous Charles Dickens were a gest otherwise. Director Stephen almost constant presence of the money, performed with an acute maturity, sensitivity and gravitas. Ttheatrical phenomenon. Bailey is quick to acknowledge the entire cast as they hurtle through self-awareness that sharpened the Apparently, there is at least one Pickwick & Nickleby is our stab clichés that jeopardise the integrity the ruthless parodies that populate acerbic wit underlying the whole amateur production of Bouncers at staging two of them: ‘Bardell of the text, and is compelling in his the show. play. being performed somewhere in the and Pickwick’ and ‘Nicholas justifi cation for yet another re-run. The humour within the text The total lack of props or world each week of the year. The Nickleby at the Yorkshire Ambitious yet unpretentious; ranges from the scathing to the costume changes leaves charac- continued relevance of the show is School’. The original readings unassuming but confi dent, Bailey’s scatological, handled brilliantly by terisation wholly in the control of signifi cant, and through the style were the nineteenth-century interpretation brings a refreshing each member of the cast, whose the actors, who display a tangible and stamina of Stephen Bailey’s equivalent of rock concerts, vivacity to the social issues con- genuine charisma and skill affords camaraderie as they alternately vision, the play is updated and storming fi rst England and fronted in this play. them the versatile dexterity swagger and mince about the stage revitalized through this surprising, then America, the enraptured Entering the Playroom, I was needed to make the play a success. and amongst the audience. Will disgusting, funny, and somehow thousands eager to see the most gruffl y advised to ‘enjoy the show’ The production manages to stay Karani’s Plain Elaine introduced sexy performance. famous man alive embody the by the bouncers who fl anked the faithful to its roots in the urban a raucous element of pantomime SIOBHAN FORSHAW characters they adored. Of course, Charles Dickens had the enviable benefi t of being Charles Dickens. For mere mor- tals, it’s a daunting challenge. measured and controlled to perfec- and leads the audience through Bodily functions once taken Betrayal tion. Albeit so, with Jerry offstage RENT a world where AIDS is common- for granted are made suddenly and Robert and Emma alone in the place, affecting every part of life, uncontrollable; breathlessness Corpus Playroom bedroom, Adam Drew (Robert) and shows how it impacts on the becomes a major concern, as (until Sat 13th) ADC Mainshow and Deli Segal (Emma) carved up (until Sat 13th) lives of the youth in New York. does the distribution of sweat a remarkably tense scene where As I read the programme in the and saliva. Then there’s the line- Drew’s delivery jumped and ADC bar a creeping fear came over learning; layer upon layer of quavered most unnervingly and me, having just read that one of the capricious, winding sub-clauses  Segal’s heavy silence served as a  leads was acting in “his fi rst lead that refuse to be remembered. prominent means of defl ection. role in a musical”. Rent is a huge Beyond anything, the exposure It was, however, Drew’s occa- task to take on for any theatre is the terror, perhaps paradoxi- his was the fi rst night of the sional loss of control that rendered here are around 525,600 company and for a group who have cally given the possibilities for Playroom’s week-long run of his performance less assured than things that could be said had so little time to rehearse it’s an hiding behind the drama’s TBetrayal by Harold Pinter, Chester’s. His grip on the volume Tabout Rent at the ADC but even bigger work load. expansive cast. With twenty- and though it wasn’t glaringly of his voice lapsed at times, and – to sum it up – it was brilliant. These fears were dispelled as two characters fi ltered through obvious, one might have guessed. though this worked in certain Jonathan Larson’s Rent was origi- soon as Guy Woolf and Rory Stal- a single actor, schizophrenia A couple of minor failures concern- scenes (such as the bedroom scene nally seen off Broadway in 1996 librass stepped onto the stage, attains a whole new meaning. ing lighting and props appeared and aimed as a song for the suf- shortening the audience’s breath Why this dramatic hubris to stimulate the latent anxiety of fering youth of New York’s Lower with the dazzling lengthening then? Surely there are only the cast, who in turn fumbled a few Characteristic East Side, using as its base Puc- of their own. There were some two reasons to stage a one-man lines and occasionally looked unsure cini’s opera La Bohème. show-stopping performances, show: colossal ego or colossal of themselves. This aside, both actions (such as Rent tells the story of Roger particularly from the two actors in stupidity. I’ve had too many rev- performance and production were (Guy Woolf), a musical wannabe, lead roles, who both proved to be elations of my limitations as an strong. hoisting his trousers) and his friend Mark (Rory Stal- capable rock singers. actor to accept the fi rst; as for Pinter’s play documents in librass), an aspiring movie-maker, Also of particular note were the second, that may be inevi- reverse chronology the marital infi - gave Chester’s Jerry a who has recently been left by his Emma Walton’s skill in balanc- table, although something more delities of three characters over a now lesbian ex-girlfriend Maureen ing her operatic voice with the compelling is bound to emerge. period of approximately ten years. sense of definition. (Victoria Rigby). While grieving pop style required, Marie Buda At its best, the one-man show The play opens with Jerry and for his recently dead girlfriend (Joanne) displaying considerable provides an opportunity for a Emma in reminiscence, wondering aforementioned) it was hard to April, Roger encounters Mimi skill in her tango scene and Nkoko sustained relationship between whether their affair was ever as determine at which points it was (Emma Walton), a show-dancing, Sekete (Angel) defi nitely living actor and audience. It’s a chance clandestine as they had believed. deliberate and at which points it HIV-positive heroin addict, and up to the programme’s claims for storytelling to fl ourish at its The play then revisits the relation- wasn’t. falls in love. that he had “copious amounts of purest – and in Dickens we have ship through a series of tableaux On the technical side the pro- The story takes off from here, experience”. a master storyteller. Pickwick & that culminate in the fi rst move duction worked well: the end of The actors were supported by Nickleby will embrace all that is (a drunken declaration of love each scene was accompanied by a great tech team and band that grotesque, absurd and theatrical abruptly interrupted by Robert, an ominous blackout that neatly livened up much of the show’s in Dickens’ narratives to bring Emma’s husband and Jerry’s best enveloped the characters’ various content. The playing was faultless; them barnstorming to the stage. friend.) slips and misprisions, and scene the lighting, however, had one or Simon Callow told me that Theo Chester’s portrayal of changes were swift (each in turn two minor glitches which, though “the most important thing is to Jerry was intriguing from the start accompanied by a selection of troublesome, in no way detracted throw yourself into it; because and his performance was lucid and unobtrusive songs.) from the overall great effects pro- Dickens, in these two pieces, composed. The nasal quality of What the performance did vided by an able tech team. more than anything else, really Chester’s voice (whether deliber- create as it progressed was a There were a few minor faults presents us with cartoons.” ate or not) provided just the right marked growth in tension (though on the part of the cast / crew which This is not a call for gratuitous channel for Jerry’s particular admittedly this virtue must be should be put down to fi rst-night ham, but the simple hope that brand of English middle-class neu- attributed in equal part to the play nerves, such as one or two awk- the joyful, invigorating spirit rosis and his delivery was levelled itself) that the actors sustained ward scene changes and a slightly of Dickens’ characters will be with a greater consistency than throughout. In both the restaurant out note here or there. Frankly, conveyed with generosity and that of the other cast members. scene between Jerry and Robert though, this kind of criticism would warmth. So come to Pickwick One or two characteristic actions and in the fi nale this atmosphere be like pulling at very thin straws. & Nickleby and revel in some (such as the hoisting of his trousers became tangible and oppressive. This performance of Rent did early festive cheer. As Dickens before sitting down) gave Ches- The performance was certainly CUMTS proud. For the few of you himself would say, “Bring in the ter’s Jerry a certain defi nition that competent and will assuredly without tickets, I implore you to bottled lightning!” the other characters lacked, and improve in the days to come. buy one of the few that are left. JAMES SWANTON & FLORENCE CARR his single onstage paroxysm was PATRICK MEYER LORENZO SANTINELLI 12th November 2010 Fashion Editors: Louise Benson and Jess Kwong 26 FashioN www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] AFTER HOURS Photographed by Miguel Santa Clara Styled by Jess Kwong and Louise Benson

This page: Coat CHR ISTI A N DIOR. Scarf LANVIN. Top MAISON MARTIN MARGIELA. Trousers, worn throughout, DAMIR DOMA. Brogues, worn throughout, PR ADA. Coat PHILOSOPHY DI ALBERTA FERRETTI. Dress HELMUT LANG. Tights, worn throughout, GIVENCHY. Loafers MIU MIU. That page, clockwise from top: Jumper PRADA. Dress DIANE VON FURSTENBURG. Boots AZZEDINE ALAÏA. Hat VINTAGE. Cardigan SPLENDID. Whistle FALLING WHISTLES. Top IF 6 WERE 9. Skirt JOSEPH. Feather dress DIANE VON FURSTENBURG. With special thanks to Giulio, Cambridge.

Fashion Editors: Louise Benson and Jess Kwong 12th november 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk Fashion 27

For more images, go to varsity.co.uk/fashionblog 28 12th November 2010 Reviews and Listings Editor: Julia Lichnova & David Shone LISTINGS www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] Listings Pick of the Week CORNUCOPIA Donkey’s Years SAT 20 NOVEMBER, DEPARTMENT OF ARCHITECTURE, 22.00-3.00 (£6/£5) TUES 16 - SAT 20 NOVEMBER, HOWARD THEATRE, DOWNING, 19.30 (£7) Following the successful ‘Nonsensevent’ of last year, ArcSoc A new venture for Downing’s plush Howard Theatre Ents brings you the next installment of the annual Archi- sees Michael Frayn’s Donkey’s Years staged with stel- tecture Cabaret. Dress to impress: this will be a night of lar Cambridge cast. This middle-class farce sees a bunch decadence and debauchery in the funkiest faculty. Cheap of Cambridge alumni back in the ‘Bridge for a booze up. drinks, good tunes, art installations. Chaos (and hilarity) ensues.

Music Talks Film & Nightlife Theatre Arts & Events

Somos Lo Que Hay (We Are Saturday 13th November Relative Values Ongoing exhibitions Saturday 13th November ADC THEATRE, TUES 16TH - SAT 20TH NOVEMBER, What We Are) Kallion Ensemble: Elliot Carter, 19.45 (£10-£6) WaterAid Ceilidh ARTS PICTUREHOUSE, 14.00, 18.00, 22.00 (FRI-SAT), ST PAUL’S CHURCH, HILLS ROAD, 19.30 - 23.00 13.45, 17.30, 21.15 (SUN), 13.00, 17.00, 21.15 Bri en and Bartok This year’s TRINITY COLLEGE CHAPEL, 20.00 - 21.10 Pick A Ceilidh to raise funds for (MON-THURS) CUADC Fresh- of the WaterAid. Following up on the recent fl ourish A feast of twentieth- ers’ Mainshow. week of dark Iberian horror movies, this century string music, with Starry Hol- e a t r e Tuesday 16th November fi lm follows a Spanish family who Shiry Rashkovsky on lywood and must provide for themselves when viola. Christopher Stark stiff-upper-lip England ‘VEER’ Launch Party conducts. James Guthrie’s A Hind’s Daughter, 1883 MAGDALENE COLLEGE, BENSON HALL, 21.00 the pater familias drops dead in a collide in Noel Coward’s Launch of a new stu- local supermarket. Diffi cult enough Clare College farcical play, providing ample Pioneering Painters: Glasgow dent writing magazine. you might think, but all the more challenging roles for up-and- Come to hear people when your family are cannibals. Michaelmas Choral Concert coming thesps. Boys WEST ROAD CONCERT HALL, 19.30 (£10/£8/£5/£4) THE ROYAL ACADEMY OF ARTS, UNTIL 23 JANUARY read their things out British music central. Get Moody paintings of the dusk, loud and listen to nice DNA music. acquainted with Britten’s young ADC THEATRE, WED 17TH - 20TH autumnal landscapes as person’s guide to the orchestra, NOVEMBER, 20.00 (£6-£4) sombre as the Scottish sky, festoon on Vaughan Williams’s sere- CUADC Freshers’ and an old Glaswegian face Strawberry nade to music and be blasted by the Lateshow. Danny wants by Glasgow’s artists from the Fair Freshers voices of some of Cambridge’s best to be a dentist. Cathy turn of the century. Evening choral scholars and soprano Maud wants to be famous. And UNIVERSITY SOCIAL CLUB, Millar in Holst’s choral symphony. Adam? He just wants to Clive Head: Modern MILL LANE, 18.30 - 22.00 be a part of it all. But Leah is Perspectives After a year off Wednesday 17th November scared. She feels that lately things THE NATIONAL GALLERY, UNTIL 28 in 2010, Straw- Riding the Iberian horror movie wave Emma Ents presents: have been getting out of hand and NOVEMBER (FREE) Pick berry Fair 2011 then something really bad happens. Eye-wateringly realis- of the will see the Let Me In SPECT SOUL tic paintings of London week greatest changes EMMA BAR, 21.00 - 00.00 (£5/£4) - ADC Theatre VUE CINEMAS, 12.40, 15,30, 18.10, 21.00 which mirror reality Arts American remake of the bleak but A great night with an eclectic mix to the event in a not just through colour beautiful Swedish vampire drama of Drum & Pickwick and Nickleby decade. To get involved come to our ADC THEATRE, WED 17TH - SAT 20TH, 20.00 (£6-£4) and texture but with space. Let the Right One In. Arguably the Bass, Soul freshers evening and share your best fi lm of 2009, some big-name and Elec- One actor. Two stories. Twenty ideas with the committee. critics have touted Matt Reeves’s tronica, in characters. James Swanton gives Thursday 18th November as being even better. Show us yer an intimate himself a nervous breakdown in fangs. space. It a night of abso-  is House believes that British claims to lute insanity Justice Punishes too much and Friday 12th November have one of with a sound literary basis Understands too li le  e People’s Cinema: Glue Boys the ‘biggest CAMBRIDGE UNION, 19.30 (FREE TO MEMBERS) CAFE PROJECT, 22 JESUS LANE, 19.30 - 23.00 soundsys- in public Another interestnig debate from The fi rst of a series of thought- tems in readings of the Union, starring Frances Cook, provoking documentaries, Cambridge’, Dickens. Erwin James, Riddhi Dasgupta, lesser-known cinema and general so expect to be bombarded! They Simon Heffer and Robert Buckland. oddities. This week: Glue Boys, also pioneer an original style of Now, Now CORPUS PLAYROOM, Saturday 20th November about street children in Kenya. experimental dance music. TUES 16TH - SAT 20TH NOVEMBER, 21.30 CORNUCOPIA Monday 15th November Saturday 20th November You may have seen these people at Smokers, Howlers and Jests. They DEPARTMENT OF ARCHITECTURE, Pick SAT 20 NOVEMBER, 22.00-3.00 Arscoc: Un Lac Music and music and are comedians, up-and-coming ones, (£6/£5) DEPARTMENT OF ARCHITECTURE, of the and this is their poster (and brand See Pick of the Week. SCROOPE TERRACE, 18.30 music and words week Philippe Grandrieux’s THE CAFE PROJECT, 22 JESUS LANE, new self-written sketch show). 19.00-23.30 (SUGGESTED DONATION Events beautiful third fi lm is £3) Now, now, chip, chop, come along... Ottavio Leoni both his most acces- DIY acoustic music Alright then, take your time The Affordable Vintage Fair sible and most abstract GUILDHALL, ALL DAY, 10.30 - night, featuring song- Galileo and His 16.30 (£2) – only one way to fi nd writers from all over the Contemporaries: Portraits by The only vintage out what exactly that UK. Free tea and cakes fair that ever comes means. provided! O avio Leoni FITZWILLIAM MUSEUM, UNTIL 13 FEBRUARY to Cambridge is Thursday 18th November Thursday 18th November Galileo might have seen the uni- here once more. verse, but is not that drooping, Absolutely fantastic Christ’s Films: The Bass Box: Nero procrastination Pick FEZ CLUB, 22.00, (£6/£5) dilated eye evidence of his deterio- of the Room Expect some new stuff from this duo; rating eyesight? See how Ottavio opportunity for week CHRIST’S COLLEGE, 19.30, 22.00 (£3) massive new release Me and You pre- Leoni depicts the man and his con- anyone who likes clothes. Film See Pick of the Week. miered two weeks ago on Zane Lowe. temporaries with infi nite precision.

TO HAVE SOMETHING LISTED ON THESE PAGES, E-MAIL JULIA LICHNOVA AT [email protected] BY NO LATER THAN MONDAY ON THE WEEK OF PUBLICATION. Sport Editor: Alex Kennedy 12th November 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk SPORT29

College Sport Sport in Men’s Rugby Brief John’s stay strong to overcome Queens’ Rugby match remained scoreless. up with Jack Roberts putting away After some nail-biting Queens’ Ex-Blue Joe Ansbro has become ST JOHN’S 12 The physicality of the Redboys two penalty kicks in windy condi- running at the John’s line in the the most recent Cambridge is legendary and their enormous tions. The match was fi nely poised closing seconds, the whistle fi nally graduate to represent his coun- pack rolled back the not insignifi - when the Queens’ scrum half saw blew leaving St John’s the worthy try at a national level. Ansbro, cant Queens’ forwards on almost a gap on the blind side and darted winners. With so many strong who was a Blue in 2005-6 and QUEENS’ 7 every occasion. The John’s backs through it, fi nishing up under the teams in Division I this year, it is who is currently playing profes- too were vital in the solid defensive posts. This converted try took not beyond the realms of possibil- sionally at Northampton Saints, line that brought the opposition Queens’ into the lead and their ity that one of them will overhaul was called up by Scotland coach ANDREW BROWNING backs to a halt. After one collision, crowd were elated. Jesus. After this showing, there- Andy Robinson for the autumn outside centre Joe Allen was blood- It was not for long however as fore, the Redboys still remain internationals. Ansbro failed to Having had a good season so far, substituted off with a nasty gash the Redboys cranked up the inten- strong contenders for their tenth make the squad for Scotland’s Queens’ were looking to take a vic- to his head. Showing true Redboy sity by running their phases and consecutive league title and their fi rst match against New Zea- tory away with them from Barton heroism he mopped it up, stuck his won a further two penalties to take future opponents should know that land on Saturday, but will be Road. The Redboys however, scrum cap on and got back on the them fi ve points clear. they want it a lot. hopeful of being blooded against fresh from blitzing Trinity 59-0, pitch. Yet Queens’ challenged well Samoa in a few weeks’ time. knew what they had to do. Flying with some excellent tactical kick- Robinson believes that Anbsro into tackles and rucks, the John’s ing, strong backs running and nifty will be of great benefi t to the forwards dominated, sending a hooking in the scrums. The game P W D L F A Pts Scottish squad: “Joe has given Queens’ fl anker to the ground with was closed down, however, by the JESUS 5 5 0 0 156 33 20 some assured performances for a smashed shoulder. In credit to number of stoppages given, not Northampton when his team ST JOHN’S 5 3 1 1 88 33 15 him, he got up and battled on, help- allowing either college to display have been under pressure and he ing Queens’ to pile on the pressure any fl owing rugby, and it didn’t QUEENS’ 5 3 0 2 60 49 14 can play centre and wing which early in the game. Poor discipline help that the referee was in the MAGDALENE 5 2 0 3 61 67 11 gives us options.” cost the Redboys no fewer than way of play on more than one occa- DOWNING 5 1 1 3 96 44 8 eight penalties in the first half sion. As the John’s intensity began TRINITY 5 0 0 5 8 256 4 and it was lucky for them that the to show, the points began to mount Lacrosse The lacrosse women’s Blues View from the Bottom Division – Round up continued their good form dis- Football Cuppers patching a poor Bath University side by 20 goals to 3. What will Caius 0 - 4 Homerton particularly please the Blues Queens’ 5 - 4 John’s set-up is the fact that all fi ve VARSITY SPORT Robinson 1 - 5 CCCC freshers who are new to the side ARU 2 - 4 Darwin scored goals and the way the Downing 3 - 0 Catz It’s been a diffi cult start to the Blues responded to a half-time Clare Hall 0 - 1 CUCY season for the college teams of grilling from co-captain Laura Corpus 10 - 2 CATS and CSVPA the Bottom Division. As if putting Plant and former captains Gen Pembroke 3 - 0 St Andrews out some form of respectable side Gotla and Georgie Hurt. The Fitz 3 - 0 Girton on a weekly basis is not diffi cult attacking pair of Alana Livsey Clare 4 - 0 Sidney enough for our colleges, they have and Eliie Russel were particu- Selwyn v Long Road (Selwyn w/o) been put in the mire by the league larly threatening. The Blues Kings 0 - 5 Trinity organisers by having to play local have had an excellent start to Christ’s 6 - 0 Magdalene sixth-form colleges and, terrify- the season and will be keen for ingly, ARU fi rst team. St Andrews a continuation of this form. The Fixture List sixth-pack having racked up twen- University second team were ty goals in their fi rst four games. also successful against Notting- Men’s Rugby ARU follow not far behind, hav- ham seconds, defeating them by First Division ing recently dispatched Emma III 20 goals to 8. (arguably the best college side in St John’s v. Queens’ the league) by 10 goals to 1. One Jesus v. Magdalene can only imagine what carnage lies Standard goalkeeping in the bottom division Trinity v. Downing in wait when Anglia Ruskin plays BMC Second Division whipping boys Homerton IV or defending and some standard Divi- from one of the teams and thus has Caius IV. sion 7 goal-keeping. a remarkably one-sided view of pro- Caretaker manager Enos Mmesi Trinity Hall v. Robinson More disappointingly for our col- The matches so far this season ceedings) means that the football will have been disappointed to Catz v. Pembroke lege teams, those precious three have been extremely competitive. here is not for the faint of heart. not come away with a victory on Girton v. Clare points that are always guaranteed That rare breed of footballer who For the spectator (there are nev- Sunday, as he tries to make his Third Division A by playing Peterhouse II have been inhabits Division 7 takes himself er any) Bottom Division football is caretaker manager role perma- cruelly stolen away as Peterhouse extremely seriously and always has a treat. Ringers are always brought nent. Instead, Botswana Meat Christ’s v. Emmanuel have dropped out of the league the misplaced self-belief he is good in from better teams to play up Commission F.C could only draw Caius v. Selwyn after failing to get a team. Fortu- enough to play for a better team. As front and cause a huge amount of 2-2 with Notwane F.C as striker Third Division B nately for most sides Clare III are a result tackles fl y in – often around panic with the defenders of lim- Kenanao Kgetholetsile took his still around and having conceded the knee caps – and angry words ited ability. Defending is put on the season’s goal tally to six. Mmesi Homerton v. Sidney 14 goals in their fi rst two games of are often exchanged between oppo- backburner as teams just aim to will undoubtedly come under Churchill v. Fitzwilliam the season, Bottom Division strik- sition sides. The lack of protection score goals. It is, after all, a bit of scrutiny in the coming weeks, ers everywhere are rubbing their offered by referees in this division fun. Except playing ARU. Frozen following allegations that he was hands in anticipation of some comic (as the referee is always a subsitute pitches please? instrumental in Kaizer Kalam- bo’s sacking. Kalambo accused his former assistant of under- Women’s Hockey mining his authority and causing Women’s Hockey Fixtures divisions in the squad. However, St Catharine’s women’s hockey their fi rst loss of the season at home this terrible statistic. Mmesi may be upset by recent team decimated mid-table Downing to Clare. Two goals from Julia Ray- In the second division, Fitzwil- First Division claims that BMC are looking to 10-2 on Sunday to keep pressure on bould confi rmed an important victory liam consolidated their place at the Churchill v. Jesus go in a different direction, and league leaders Jesus. Victoria Masc- for a Clare side who have the talent top with a 14-0 demolition of Trinity bring in Daniel Chico Nare from etti in particular put in a virtuoso to fi nish about mid-table, but who are Hall who remained rooted to bottom Second Division rivals Extension Gunners, who performance scoring six of her team’s in danger of slipping into mediocrity. spot. In their fi rst three games of the Selwyn v. Homerton has a temperamental relation- goals as she lept to top scorer in the St John’s are the third team on six season, Trinity Hall have conceded 27 Girton v. Trinity Hall ship with his present board. division. Emma Eldridge took the points, but are only third on goal dif- goals and even this early in the season Emmanuel v. Christ’s There are no matches scheduled opportunity of playing against some ference despite a 6-1 victory against look almost certain to drop down to for the coming weekend to allow Third Division woeful defending to open her account strugglers Pembroke. Pembroke Division 3. After a shaky start to the the national team more time to for the season, notching up three goals have lost both their games so far this season, Girton fi nally seem to have Corpus v. Magdalene prepare ahead of their upcom- of her own. season and have conceded 20 goals. found some form putting six goals Trinity v. Catz II ing clash against Tunisia. St Catherine’s win allows them If they have any desire to stay in the past a weak Christ’s side who are Queens’ v. Newnham to catch up with Jesus who suffered top fl ight, they need to improve on battling to avoid the drop. 12th November 2010 Sport Editor: Alex Kennedy 30 Sport www.varsity.co.uk [email protected]

COLLEGE ROWING The University Fours kicks off the competitive rowing season Caius dominate men’s coxed first division, while LMBC W1 comfortably win the women’s competition

LUCY PARKER inexperienced novices, and becomes to their station, resulting in a blade the preserve of the Cam’s current clash with Emmanuel W1, and their University Fours marks the middle elite. In this week-long knock-out subsequent exclusion from the of Michaelmas for many a Cambridge tournament, experienced oarsmen final. In a similarly exciting semi- boatie. It signifies the clash of the race in fours, both coxed and coxless. final, the tussle between LMBC W1 remaining college rowers from the The two women’s divisions race side- and Downing W1, both of whom previous term’s May Bumps cam- by-side over a 1km course, and the were tipped for possible final posi- paigns, and supposedly functions as three men’s divisions race over a 2km tions, resulted in a triumphant win an indicator for the performance of course from a staggered start. Uni- from LMBC in a notable time of 6 clubs in the upcoming terms. For five versity Fours 2010 witnessed some minutes and 4 seconds, beating afternoons, the river is cleared of unexpected victors, and also a few Downing’s winning time in 2009. surprise losers. The afternoons were The coxless division was only littered with drama as well, including braved by three crews this year: crashes, blade-clashes, disqualifica- it is often avoided by clubs for fear University 4s Finals Results tions, high winds and rain, and even a of collision with the bank and the rogue obstacle in the shape of a skip incompetent steering of oarsmen. Men’s Coxed Fours (Div 1) floating in the river. For the third year running, this Caius M2 bt Magdalene M1 Tuesday’s and Thursday’s wom- somewhat marginal event was won the beginning of something spe- Having beaten both First and Third Time: 7:28 (won by 23s) en’s races saw the emergence of by LMBC, who seem to have per- cial for Clare Hall Boat Club in the and Downing to reach the final, strong crews in the form of Down- fected their steering and winning coming season. Some would put it Caius met Magdalene in their final Men’s Coxed Fours (Div 2) ing W1 and LMBC (St John’s) W1 in technique. Despite the driving rain down to the luck of a random draw, race. Having both produced strong Clare Hall M1 bt Jesus M2 the first division, and Downing W2 on Friday, a somewhat bedraggled- and it is true that their battle with times in the preceding rounds, these Time: 8:00 (won by 1.7s) and Trinity Hall W2 in the second looking Maggie crew managed to Jesus M2 in the final resulted in two crews looked set to produce an Women’s Coxed Fours (Div 1) division. Racing in gusty winds on pull off two impressive races which an excruciatingly close victory of exciting finale to the week’s racing. Thursday afternoon, the women’s saw both First and Third and Clare just 1.7 seconds. However, having However, an unfortunate techni- LMBC W1 bt Emma W1 second division was won by Down- definitively defeated. secured consistent times of under cal problem and subsequent crash Time: 6:17 (won easily) ing W2 with an impressive time of 6 In an unusual turn of events, the eight minutes, it seems that Clare out of Ditton Corner whilst already Women’s Coxed Fours (Div 2) minutes and 32 seconds. The wom- men’s coxed four second division Hall were deserving winners. Last three lengths down to Caius, meant Downing W2 bt Trinity Hall W2 en’s first division on Tuesday was saw Clare Hall surface as victors. but by no means least, the men’s that Magdalene secured a dramatic Time: 6:32 (won by 3 lengths) disrupted by a surprise disqualifi- As one of the Cam’s smaller and coxed first division saw the second conclusion to University Fours 2010, cation in the semi-finals. A strong less prominent clubs, this some- of Caius’ two matched first Fours leaving Caius as the definitive and Sidney Sussex crew failed to keep what unexpected win could mark materialise as the frontrunners. deserving winners of their division. Nice to meet Blue... James Day, Men’s Football Captain, Jesus

lues Captain James Day seemed good at football.” looking too good – not a lot of interest in relaxed, excited and above all opti- The rivalry with The Other Place clearly their pre-season and they’ve lost their best Bmistic about this season’s football dominates the minds of the footballers as player to us, so I am feeling very confident, squad when he met Varsity this week. Day, much as it does those of other sporting especially as we should have won last year a third-year medic at Jesus, has had the clubs at Cambridge, with Day describing and didn’t.” perfect start to his season as captain, with the Varsity match as “by far the highlight If Cambridge are to get over back-to- a victory against a close rival. A 4-0 win back Varsity defeats they will have to do against Bedford Luton kicked off competi- it with a host of new players in the squad. tive action for this term, and the captain “We’re all really good mates “We lost seven of last year’s starting XI, was understandably pleased: “Last year so obviously I was feeling nervous over they were the one team we couldn’t beat, and I do all I can to keep it the summer about coming back, but we’ve we drew with them twice in the league and had two really good new strikers come in. we beat everyone else, so we have a pretty like that. It tends to show on On the wing we’ve got a good new fresher good chance of promotion.” Day continued, the pitch, because obviously Rory and there’s a lad who was on the “We’re in the third division, and I hate fringes last year who’s come into central being in the third division, I want to be in toy want to fight for your midfield as well. Right wing is our position the first or the Premier”. up for grabs this year and we’ve got a few It is a stiff challenge that the footballers mates.” people trying out there. The captain from have laid down for themselves, particularly of the year... You walk out on the pitch [usu- two years ago is trying out there but he given the difficulties of football in compet- ally at Fulham’s home, Craven Cottage] can’t commit his time cause of his PhD.” ing with other sports at Cambridge and the before the game and think, ‘what is going All change then in the personnel, but University’s struggle across the board to on? How have I deserved this?’ Being cap- the hope is that this side is able to kick on compete with more sport-oriented institu- tain this year I’m so excited about leading from last year’s Varsity heartbreak and But Day was quick to quash any stories tions: “You don’t come here because you’re the team out onto the pitch. It’s such a nice succeed on all fronts. If promotion is going that team bonding gets in the way of hard good at football, you come here because pitch as well, but it’s hard to play your best to be achieved, consistency away from work. “Game by game everyone’s getting you’re good at rugby or rowing. The foot- because you’re so nervous, you’ve got all home will be key. “In the past we always fitter and getting better; it’s been a massive ball team tends to be mainly undergrads your friends there in the crowd watching win our home games because our pitch [the increase since the start. The footballers are who are clever guys and who happen to be you and cheering you, and you just feel that Fenner’s outfield] is immaculate and we happy with it: we can get fitter but that will any mistakes like to play passing football. Then we go to come from match practice. You don’t just you make you’re other places where they have crap pitches get fit all of a sudden!” gonna look like and it’s a fight and we’re little Cambridge If the 2010-11 Blues are to succeed in an idiot, so the lads. We do our best to battle but those are gaining promotion and beating Oxford, it first half you’re the games we lose – when it’s a battle and seems clear that leadership will be key, just shaking. not a game of football.” and Day highlighted just how much the “Last year we How does the skipper hope to prepare captaincy means to him. “Without a shadow lost on penal- the side for these battles? “We’re all really of a doubt captaincy comes before work ties; it was a good mates, and I do all I can to keep it like this year. The number of supervisions and disaster, com- that – to get the new lads to come out on seminars I’ve had to miss becauseyou can’t plete disaster. the nights out and the socials. If they do miss any training sessions if you’re taking Apparently we that, they tend to bond with each other and them, so yeah, it is the biggest thing in my have a good it does show on the pitch, because obviously life definitely.” If his team share his com- chance this time you want to fight for your mates whereas mitment, then the footballers could be in around. Appar- if you’re a bunch of strangers people don’t for a great season. ently they aren’t tend to talk to each other as much”. JONNY SINGER Sport Editor: Alex Kennedy 12th November 2010 [email protected] www.varsity.co.uk SPORT31 Sport Comment Funding for small sports societies is woefully inadequate Many University societies are struggling to reach their basic costs and funding from the Sports Syndicate keeps dropping

However, the grants handed these benefi ts. The upshot of this is for the clubs themselves to fi nd Oxford last weekend where the out are, in the words of one cap- that the major clubs remain sepa- sponsorship., but for many this is pool was rented from the Univer- tain, “woefully insuffi cient”. For rate from the rest of the University not an easy task. The archery club sity Sports Centre free of charge, instance, the women’s basketball sporting body in order to control whereas when Cambridge hold a team receives a yearly grant of their own fi nances. This means that meeting this December they will £1,600. The annual court hire alone all of the money they bring in goes Nobody would have to spend over £100 for an comes to £3,503 before you even straight back to their coffers, fund- hour’s swimming. begin to think about travel, equip- ing luxuries far beyond other clubs’ claim that every The problem is not one which has ment or numerous other necessities. means. gone unnoticed. The Cambridge The diffi culty of the situation is Economically this is defensible: if sport should Sport website has extensive plans clear. one club is a huge source of revenue for the West Cambridge Sports why should their efforts not benefi t receive the same Centre, a project intended to solve them directly? However, each club these problems. Unfortunately the RUPERT MERCER Many clubs nd plays its part in the wider sporting funding, but some project began in 1998 and however success of the University. Of course wonderful the plans look the lack hen people think about their funding from it is not the responsibility of the sort of independent of progress is harming the sporting Cambridge sport certain Boat Club to look after the table reputation of our University. The Wimages come to their members, a system tennis players, but surely a more calculation would be money that teams would save on minds – the Boat Race, the Varsity centralised system should be over- facility rental would go towards match at Twickenham – symbols of almost tailor-made seeing both. Nobody would claim a fairer system. equipment and more importantly a sporting tradition that goes back that every sport should receive the coaches which are currently hundreds of years. The prestige to discourage same amount of funding, but surely has spent the last year searching for unavailable. The lack of a sports attached to such events is well- some sort of independent calcula- sponsors but, not being a spectator centre is especially hindering teams deserved and inextricably linked people from joining. tion would be a fairer system. sport it has been unable to fi nd any. that play indoors, and the longer with the history of the University. As for the current fi nancial prob- This has resulted in many members the project is postponed, the lower But what about the sports we lems for the smaller clubs, it would of the club spending over £1,000 of the standard of sport will be when it don’t hear about, the basketball The problem has its root in suc- be too simplistic to say that the their own money each year. fi nally appears. players, the modern pentath- cess of the major sports. The Boat Sports Syndicate should simply be The main burden on clubs’ The truth of the matter is that letes? Is the reality of Cambridge Club annually receives highly handing out more money, although fi nances is the renting of facilities. many of our clubs fi nd their funding sport quite as rosy away from the advertised television coverage and the fact that the available funds for Cambridge teams fi nd themselves principally from the members them- spotlight? so is able to command sponsorship many clubs have dropped since last at a huge disadvantage in that selves, a system almost tailor-made The principal problem for the fees far beyond the reach of many year is a cause for concern. While it there is no centralised University to discourage people from joining smaller sports clubs at the Uni- other clubs. The Rugby Club simi- is clearly not viable for the Sports Sports Centre like those of Oxford up. Until the facilities other univer- versity is their funding. Each club larly manages to attract extensive Syndicate to match the economic or Durham, offering hugely reduced sities enjoy are made available and is individually assessed by the sponsorship, both in the form of needs of every club, it is important rental rates. Independent centres the fi nancial burden is lifted from Sports Syndicate, who analyse the direct cash funding and also from not to leave some clubs struggling like Kelsey Kerridge quite rightly those clubs unable to command nature of the club and therefore donated stash and other products. while others prosper. The Syndicate charge at private rates, but the large sponsorship fees, then the the amount of funding that the They even have an employed head must not leave clubs behind. clubs struggle to meet these. The standard of Cambridge’s sport is club should receive accordingly. of marketing who can organise There is of course an obligation modern pentathletes went to only going to suffer.

FOOTBALL CUPPERS Christ’s breeze past weak Magdalene Blues Football CONTINUED FROM BACK PAGE Third-division Magdalene are no competition for a strong Christ’s side latched on to a through ball and desperate A superb break, in which the ball fi nished perfectly, slotting it low to get them- was shifted onto the left-wing, and CHRIST’S 6 into the far corner. It would be a selves then back again, was coolly fi n- display for Harrison to remember onto the ished by McCrickerd. with two similar fi nishes seeing scoresheet. This largely ended the game as him through to a fi rst half hattrick St George a contest, although the Cambridge MAGDALENE 0 and Christ’s to a 3-0 half time lead. was the bar was later rattled by a fi erce Magdalene were simply unable lucky one, half-volley from the Bedford right- VARSITY SPORT to keep up with the tempo and bagging back. the movement of the top division a brace of A victory of this magnitude A dominant Christ’s side eased side. well taken against the defending league cham- past Magdalene into the second The second period continued goals from pions is further indication that this round following a very convinc- in similar fashion. The Christ’s inside the promises to be a successful season ing performance on Saturday defence, eyeing up their second opposition for this Blues side. afternoon. clean sheet in a row, continued to penalty area So far they do not appear to be As the sun shone throughout the hold fi rm whenever Magdalene meaning missing those that departed during cold November afternoon, so did tentatively pushed for a conso- that Christ’s the close-season, as the new play- the Christ’s midfi eld, controlling lation goal. Despite admirable fi nished six comprehensively put to the sword ers appear to be in harmony with possession and stringing together endeavour, the Third Division side goals to the good. It could, how- by Homerton having fielded a the old regulars. some fl uid passing moves. The gulf failed to seriously threaten the ever, have been many more. weakened team. Corpus managed This was a strong team per- between First and Third Division Christ’s goal, their only chances Elsewhere in the fi rst round to notch up the biggest win of formance: the defence was solid football was shown to be exten- coming from the odd corner and of the cuppers competition there the day putting ten past Bottom throughout, the midfi eld combat- sive: Christ’s were quicker to the occasional long range effort. were few shocks with most of the Division side CATS and CSPVA. ive and creative, and the attack ball and more adept and comfort- The game was effectively big teams making it through com- They face tougher opponents in exhibiting both a physicality and able once they had it. fi nished when Christ’s Williams fortably. Trinity dispatched Kings Round 2 in CCCC who put fi ve fl air. Although early in the season, It wasn’t long before Harrison, found his way into the top corner. 5-0 while Downing saw off fellow past Robinson. they sit top of the league, and this fresh from scoring his 50th com- From then on, traffi c was entirely First Division side Catz. First For all results see page 29. performance suggests that they petitive goal for the CCAFC, one way with the Christ’s players Division strugglers Caius were could well stay there. Think you could do better? We’re always looking for sport writers and photographers. If you’d like to work for us, get in contact with our Sport Editor at [email protected] 12th November 2010 Sport Editor: Alex Kennedy 32 SPORT www.varsity.co.uk [email protected] College Football Rowing p30 p31 Christ’s beat First serious Magdalene in competition of cuppers SPORT the year Redboy Cambridge secure comfortable win Reports Football Blues easily see off a weak challenge from Bedford University Our man on the inside of the St John’s 1st XV tells it like it is

es, the rumours are true. I’m OK now, but Mitch Yand Abercrombie are obviously still in prison. Zor- ro’s been missing since and I’m writing this on my Samsung very discreetly from the Dean’s pathetic offi ce. It started at RedBar as usual, but the evening’s atmosphere was already assuming a sinister character when Burger got up from his stool and duly knocked out Franco the barman for asking how everything was going. Jason and Lexus grabbed some kegs and we ran for it. The porters were getting noisy about all the booze we were stealing, so Creon pissed on the pigeonholes to keep them busy whilst we bundled the smaller, bald one into a keg as a memento. You may have heard about our visit to The Curry King. That did not happen. The Dean has made that very clear. So, let’s just say that our visit to restaurant ‘x’ (The Curry King) featured Cambridge compete for the high ball against Bedford last February not only the destruction of the entrance door (Lexus denies it enjoyed a period of sustained pres- the area before dragging his effort was spectacularly cleared off the was a pull-orientated one), but sure in the opening stages. An early wide. Ferguson, in the Cambridge line by Peacock, to maintain the two the removal of most of the estab- CAMBRIDGE 3 shot produced a smart save from the goal, was fi nally called into action goal lead at the break. lishment’s chairs. Look carefully Bedford goal-keeper, and the ball was several times towards the end of the There was scant opportunity for at John’s chapel roof and you’ll hooked off the line from the result- fi rst half, before Baxter doubled the further goals at the beginning of the see plenty of fi ne new seats. BEDFORD 0 ing corner. Before long, the Blues Blues’ lead. From the right wing, second half. Bedford began to gain Once we’d realised that we’d had the goal that their early play Rutt cut back onto his left foot, and a foothold in the match, but could lost our way to The Bun Shop we had deserved. A long goal kick was swung in an excellent cross to the not convert territory into chances. left and started the swap with DAN WELLBELOVE advanced by a number of intelligent far post, where it was met by the Every cross was imperiously met by the Newcastle Men’s Fencing fl icks, before the ball was assuredly left-back, sneaking in between two Cambridge captain Day, who domi- Club (nobody else was available). The football Blues continued their fi red home by Rutt. Bedford defenders. Baxter fully nated aerially throughout the game. They were all bores, but they strong start to this year’s league Shaken by this early goal, Bedford deserved his goal; uncompromising The Blues were only threatened by kept to themselves as there were campaign with a comprehensive and struggled to gain any control of the in defence, his forward bursts were the long ball over the defence: one only two of them and the trip had wholly merited victory over the Uni- match. Cambridge were winning a continual threat to the opposition. such pass resulted in a comfortable tired them out. The Bun Shop versity of Bedfordshire (Bedford) the entire midfi eld ball, and fi nding Nevertheless, minutes before save at the near post, whilst another naturally called the police when on Wednesday. A trio of well-taken success when attacking the opposi- half-time, Cambridge nearly brought about a superb last-ditch Byker head-butted the toilet goals were the reward for a convinc- tion fullbacks. A series of probing allowed Bedford back in the game. tackle for a corner. sink for swearing at him, which ing Cambridge performance, as the crosses produced another good save Confusion in the defence, as the However, midway through the was our signal to smash the win- side persistently threatened on the from the Bedford goalkeeper, whilst ball was launched forward, allowed second half, Cambridge extended dows and get out of there. counter-attack. clever footwork from Broadway the striker to nod the ball past an their lead even further. Then we made the fatal move: Cambridge began very brightly,and saw him beat two men just outside onrushing Ferguson, but the ball CONTINUED INSIDE the ADC bar. Nowhere else was open except Hidden Rooms, which is full of Pizza Club wank- ers. There was a show about the Cambridge rugby looks well set compared to Dark Blue rivals war or something dated like that, season. With one month to go until Shane Geraghty, and only lost by 12 and please Cambridge. Indeed, while but we barricaded the doors and VARSITY SPORT the Varsity fixture at Twicken- points, Oxford struggled to match Cambridge dominated American released the porter from the keg. While Jimmy Richards and his team ham, captain Nick Haydon will be the power and pace of London opposition on their pre-season tour He was drunk as hell so helped have been performing extremely extremely concerned at his side’s Wasps when they visted Iffley – returning undefeated – Oxford out fervently as we smashed the well against whatever opposition form. Road. Succumbing to a professional lost both their games to RC Slava in place to bits. We got everyone they are pitted against, Oxford have Indeed, it is not as though Oxford outfi t by 24 points is not necessar- Moscow and Kazan State Agrarian out before the building collapsed been struggling against a similar have been playing opposition of a ily indicative of a poor side, but it is University. entirely so I’m getting properly quality of opposition. Having won superior quality to Cambridge. While the manner of the defeat which will If current trends continue, Cam- wound-up by this Dean, weeping only one game so far this season and Cambridge performed superbly disappoint the Oxford management. bridge will be extremely confi dent and threatening me. He clearly losing six, the Oxford rugby team against a very strong Northampton Porous defence and weak tackling of back-to-back Varsity victories can’t take a joke. seems to be struggling in the early side, including England international is something that will worry Oxford come early December.