©2015 | Written by Esmarelda VillaLobos

The following is copywritten material.

Do not distribute, copy, or attempt to replicate its contents just because you can’t think of something original.

God is watching.

www.esmareldaknows.com

ROUGH CUT

Written by Esmarelda VillaLobos

esmareldaknows.com

(909)921-1761 PO Box 156 | Pomona, CA 91769 www.esmareldaknows.com INT. TRAIN STATION - MORNING Early. Empty. OUR MAN, a young hoofer, straps on his tap shoes and begins to tap out a new melody. taptap taptap tat-a-tat taptap Over and over. It’s easy. Simple. He keeps the rhythm. taptap taptap tat-a-tat taptap A few PASSERSBY smile. He notices. taptap taptap tat-a-tat taptap Our Man is ready to break the rhythm, to try something new. He can hear it. He can feel it. Then: TAP TA-TAP TA-TAP TAP TA-TAP TA-TAP TAP TA-TAP TA-TAP TAP ACROSS THE PLATFORM THE RIVAL, another hoofer in bright red tap shoes, is going strong, breaking Our Man’s concentration. They lock eyes. The Rival gives Our Man a challenging grin. Our Man keeps his rhythm,esmareldaknows.com trying to get back in his groove. taptap taptap tat-a-tat -- TAP TA-TAP TA-TAP TAP TA-TAP The Rival’s flashy moves won’t let him. Our Man responds with a simple, but skilled move. The Rival counters with a flagrant and furious challenge. Our Man digs in deeper, trying to keep up. The Rival’s feet fly, his wicked grin taunting Our Man. Our Man watches him, smelling defeat. He spots the Passersby again, their eyes encouraging him to go on. Our Man stares in to The Rival. Eyes burning. Feet aching. He can’t. He won’t. He must. 2.

FROM AFAR A train approaches. Headlights peek through a nearby tunnel. Commuters gather at the platform as the train closes in on the station. AT THE DUELING PLATFORMS The two men continue the assault. Rival lunges. Man matches. Back. Forth. Stronger. Harder. Faster. More. More. MORE. MORE. THEN: Our Man stumbles, tripping over his own footwork as-- --The Rival performs a SEEMINGLY IMPOSSIBLE move. Spectators ooh and ahh, applauding him. Our Man crumples. Exhausted. Defeated. It’s over.

But then... The deafening sound of an approaching train fills his ears. Our Man looks up to esmareldaknows.comsee the Train. Moments from arriving. He Can’t. Sees the Passersby. Their faces sting with disappointment. He Won’t. Sees The Rival. A still challenging victor. He Must. Our Man rises to his feet. He takes a running start and FLIPS! across the platform-- Near missing the oncoming train

--and LANDS right in front of The Rival. Stunned silence. 3.

Our Man stares into the impressed eyes of The Rival. Then: taptap taptap tat-a-tat taptap Our Man taps out his melody. Casually. Effortlessly. Unfaze- BING! Train doors open. Suddenly and without warning the moment ends. Commuters shuffle in and out, engrossed in their own mornings. Somehow Our Man is swept inside the Train Car, trapped amongst the throngs of people.

INT. TRAIN CAR The doors close. Our Man scrambles to the window to see-- The Rival. His wicked grin now a conceded smirk - he gives a nod and returns to his dancing. The train pulls away with Our Man inside. It’s over. Our Man exhales. Relieved. Accomplished. Happy. He finds a seat and relaxes, taking in his surroundings. Amongst the graffiti etched into the wall he spots the word: “Touché” Our Man chuckles to esmareldaknows.comhimself, wiping the sweat from his brow. He rests -- for just a moment -- then: taptap taptap tat-a-tat taptap TAP TA-TAP TA-TAP TAP TA-TAP He resumes working out the melody. The train puffs out of the station taking Our Man to wherever his next destination may be. An oversized title card appears screaming: “THE END.” FADE TO BLACK. 4.

PART ONE hello?

esmareldaknows.com 5.

INT. A LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Late. Lit only by the flickering glow of a television. Our Girl snores on the couch. Pictures of the young hoofer and his rival cycle through a Netflix menu plastered on the TV. It was some movie called “Broadway Melody”. She’s in her late 20’s, and judging by the looks of her and her apartment: she’s not doing great.

INT. A LIVING ROOM - MORNING MUSIC: NYAN CAT THEME Her iPhone goes off, startling her awake as she fumbles and reaches for the phone, rolling off the couch. OUR GIRL Mmmph! ...hello? The loud song keeps playing. Confused she looks at HER iPHONE SCREEN: There are 8 alarms set to go off at various times of the morning. They are all called “GET THE HELL UP” or “YOU’RE WASTING YOUR LIFE SLEEPING” or “NO WONDER YOU DON’T HAVE A BOYFRIEND” and “YOU’LL NEVER GET THAT PROMOTION IF YOU KEEP ACTING LIKE THIS”. She taps “snooze” and rolls in to her blanket on the floor. MUSIC: “9 to 5” by Dollyesmareldaknows.com Parton OUR GIRL’S MORNING ROUTINE: She rushes. Doesn’t wash her hair; brushes her teeth in 10 seconds; takes her morning pills; grabs whatever clothes aren’t piled up and dirty... Okay, maybe just that one thing from the dirty pile.

INT. HER CAR - DAY She’s stuck in traffic, but it’s okay. She rocks out to Iggy Azalea on the radio, complete with choreographed dance moves and lots of finger pointing. 6.

EXT. OFFICE PARK - DAY She pulls up to the Employee Parking lot entrance, music still blaring. The man in front of her is having technical difficulties with his key fob.

INT. HER CAR - CONTINUOUS She’s now very aware of her lateness and that dude in front of her still can’t get his shit together. OUR GIRL (in car) Oh My God Just GO! She exits her vehicle and impatiently helps the man open the gate.

INT. OFFICE BUILDING Bland. Corporate. O.G. practices her tardiness excuses. IN THE ELEVATOR OUR GIRL My car wouldn’t start. PAST RECEPTION OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Don’t you esmareldaknows.comjust hate it when your alarm doesn’t go off? DOWN THE HALLWAY OUR GIRL (CONT’D) You’ll never believe it, but this vulture flew right into my driver’s side window. She arrives at her cubicle. Her bitchy desk mate, PING, swivels toward her. PING You’re late. OUR GIRL Yeah, sorry. My car wouldn’t-- 7.

PING Frank needs you. O.G. scrambles to collect herself. She searches her messy desk and grabs a stack of Post-Its. She rushes off towards an office, then doubles back to her desk, grabbing a pen, before rushing off again.

INT. FRANK’S OFFICE. Frank’s office is a shrine to Frank. He is in his mid 40’s and has had a pretty awesome career. You can tell by the pictures of Frank with famous people and news articles that mention Frank where Frank has circled his own name...... and then framed it. Today, Frank is plucking his eyebrows. O.G. stumbles in. OUR GIRL I’m here. Sorry, my car wouldn- FRANK I need your advice. OUR GIRL Okay, shoot. FRANK I’m writing a thank you email to the Daniels’ re: last night’s dinner and I don’t know how to sign it. esmareldaknows.com OUR GIRL You should probably sign it with your name. FRANK Thank you, Miss Smart Ass. I mean what do I say before that? Kind regards? Best wishes? Sincerely? OUR GIRL Ew, don’t do sincerely. FRANK What’s wrong with sincerely? 8.

OUR GIRL Sincerely is what you write if you’re booking a hotel or asking your bank to remove a credit charge. That would be like saying, “thank you for inviting me into your home, now I will act as though the entire encounter never even happened.” I mean, this is the Daniels’ we’re talking about. You just signed that account. You don’t want them worrying about whether or not they’re going to have to work to have you remember them. Also, not forgetting, that they are friends with the Harris’ and the ink still hasn’t dried on that one. She’s almost out of breath after all those words. FRANK So... best wishes? OUR GIRL All my best wishes. Is that all? FRANK You wish. She sinks. FRANK (CONT’D) Here. This is what I’m thinking for the Knights’esmareldaknows.com beauty spa. He hands her a stack of papers. FRANK (CONT’D) Can you do your magic with this? ANGLE ON: The business plan. Its awful. 1997 Microsoft Word ClipArt Butterflies/Comic Sans MS awful. OUR GIRL Oh, um. I don’t know. This, uh, this could take a while and I’m pretty busy with-- FRANK Busy? Your life is bursting with excitement in front of my very eyes. 9.

O.G. picks a wedgie. She realizes she is right in front of her boss and then stops immediately FRANK (CONT’D) Come on, you’re always good at figuring this stuff out. I did all the work already, just make it... better. OUR GIRL (hesitant) Sure... groovy. Anything else you got for me before I go? FRANK My headphones aren’t working again. O.G. opens her mouth to say something, but bites her tongue and springs into action.

INT. OFFICE BUILDING - LATER O.G. eats at her desk. She is putting a few strips of bacon on a bagel with cream cheese, and folds it to make a kind of sandwich. She takes a bite. It’s like heaven to her. PING That’s gross. OUR GIRL Have you tried it? PING Gag. No. esmareldaknows.com OUR GIRL Then you don’t know that its gross. PING Whatever. So, my biffle is having a launch party for her new Organic Gluten-Free Social Media driven NPO tonight. DJ Tasty Cakes is spinning. Want to come? OUR GIRL No can do. I’ve got plans tonight, sorry.

INT. OFFICE BUILDING - NIGHT It’s late. 10.

O.G. sits in her cubicle, doing her “magic”. In no time at all she has redesigned the terrible business plan so that it now looks classy and professional. She switches off her computer and sends a text message. OUR GIRL (TEXT) I can’t. I literally hate everything right now. FML. A few seconds go by and she receives a response. DOT (TEXT) Me too. Come home so we can drink and eat our feelings.

INT. OUR GIRL’S APARTMENT - NIGHT O.G. arrives home to find her slacker roommate, Dot, sprawled out on the couch. DOT Yayyyy, you’re home. OUR GIRL ...and I brought chicken! DOT Oh my god you read my mind, that’s exactly what I wanted. Dot loses her mind with excitement over the bucket of fried chicken. esmareldaknows.com DOT (CONT’D) You’re the bestest. OUR GIRL I know. They move around trash on the coffee table to make room for the food. Dot runs to the kitchen to grab a couple of beers. DOT Hey, do you want to watch The Talented Mr. Ripley? OUR GIRL Ooh, we should watch Good Will Hunting instead. Both Matt and Ben. And they’re all young and cute and have these wicked strong Boston accents. (MORE) 11. OUR GIRL (CONT'D) Plus its like a really good movie and they won an Oscar and everything. DOT Sold. Even better. OUR GIRL I know. Dot switches on Netflix. The screen of Broadway Melody appears. DOT What’s this? OUR GIRL Some old movie Frank said I should watch. DOT Was it good? Our Girl talks through a mouthful of chicken. OUR GIRL I don’t know, I fell asleep around the time his kid died. DOT Sounds about right. Dot hits play. They chew and drink and watch. The front door opensesmareldaknows.com as their overbearing intellectual roommate, Hannah, enters. HANNAH What are we watching, ladies? Ooh, chicken. DOT Good Will Hunting. HANNAH Ew. Why? OUR GIRL Ew? Why ew? This is a classic. 12.

HANNAH Please. Matt Damon and Ben Affleck write a movie where Matt Damon is a secret, undiscovered genius and Ben Affleck is his motivation for getting out of their crummy life? Where’s the sign up sheet for that circle jerk. OUR GIRL Whatever, I like it. HANNAH I’m just saying in my, highly educated, opinion - it is definitely not a classic. OUR GIRL Noted. Hannah takes a seat on the couch with them to eat. HANNAH What? No coleslaw?

INT. OUR GIRL’S APARTMENT - LATER Our Girl, Dot, and Hannah are all huddled crying under a blanket, watching the end of “Good Will Hunting”. OUR GIRL (with movie) It’s not youresmareldaknows.com fault.

INT. OUR GIRL’S BEDROOM - MORNING 6:00am. Too early for O.G. Her phone buzzes - its an email from Frank. Subject: can u make this look better?

She opens the email to find a poorly photo-shopped picture of a flexing, shirtless Frank. She groans and shuts the phone off. Another fucking day.

INT. OUR GIRL’S BEDROOM/APARTMENT/CAR/OFFICE BUILDING She snoozes. Rushes. Rocks out. Practices today’s excuse. 13.

INT. ELEVATOR O.G. edits Frank’s cheesecake photo from her phone. It already looks a million times better. FUNNY LOOKING MAILROOM GUY peeks over her shoulder. FUNNY LOOKING MAILROOM GUY You deserve a promotion for that. OUR GIRL (rolls her eyes) Tell me something I don’t know.

INT. OFFICE BUILDING Without breaking her stride, O.G. drops off her things at her cubicle and marches straight to Frank’s office. Ping doesn’t even look up from her computer. PING OUR GIRL He needs you. I know.

INT. FRANK’S OFFICE. O.G. hurries in. OUR GIRL Hi. I’m here. Sorry, my alarm didn-- FRANK Did you fixesmareldaknows.com that thing I sent you? Today, Frank is doing yoga. He performs a perfect headstand in uncomfortably short yoga shorts. OUR GIRL Almost. Sorry, I had a busy morning. FLASH TO:

INT. OUR GIRL’S BEDROOM In her bathrobe, O.G. daydreams while cruising someone else’s vacation photos on Facebook. She sees the time. 14.

OUR GIRL (panicked) Balls. BACK TO:

INT. FRANK’S OFFICE - SAME Frank looks her down and up. Its pretty clear she put zero effort in to getting herself ready this morning. FRANK Hmm, I see. Can you call the gym and move my squash game up to 4? Then call Peter and tell him nothing personal, but I found a new squash partner who isn’t such a Nancy on the ricochet. OUR GIRL Done and done. Anything else? FRANK Negative. Anything for me? OUR GIRL (disappointed) No... that’s everything. She suddenly remembers: OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Uh! Your lunch got bumped up to 12:30. esmareldaknows.com O.G. heads towards the exit and pauses. She takes a deep breath and turns on a heel back toward Frank. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Actually, Frank, I’ve been thinking that I’ve been doing a lot more of the hands-on work with the clients lately. And maybe, possibly, I could start consulting some of them on my own? Frank snaps his eyes open. He performs a perfectly balanced tuck and roll out of his headstand and towers down at her, eyes eating into her soul. FRANK Are you asking me for a promotion? 15.

Squeeeech. Behind Frank, a window washer lets out a loud screech as he squeegees the glass. It startles her, breaking her concentration. OUR GIRL Uh, no. Yes, I mean, I’m sorry, I should’ve-- Frank takes slow, dramatic steps towards her, backing her into a corner. FRANK You’re asking me for a promotion, aren’t you? What, you think you can do this better than me? Squeeeeeeeeeeeeech! A longer louder stroke distracts her. OUR GIRL Yes. No. Well, I was thinking maybe sort of creating a-a-a new position where I could focus on the marketing and-and-and the design and the-- FRANK Are you asking me for a promotion - yes or no. Right now. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!!!!esmareldaknows.com It’s deafening. It’s all she can hear. She bursts out at him. OUR GIRL Yes! Okay? Yes. I am asking for a promotion. Yes. Silence. She desperately searches his face for a reaction, but he is made of stone. The moment hangs in the air for what feels like forever. Then finally: FRANK (no big deal) Yeah, sure. I don’t see why not. No raise, though. (MORE) 16. FRANK (CONT'D) And I’ll give you a title change, but you’re still going to have to do all of my assistant work. But hey that’s no problem for my new Executive Coordinator, right? He gives her a high five. Through the glass behind him, a LARGE PTERODACTYL swoops down and snatches the window washer, but neither Frank nor O.G. seem to notice. OUR GIRL Really? Wow, thank you so much. Frank shrugs and sits down to trim his banzai tree. FRANK Hey, you asked for it. O.G. can barely contain her excitement as she bursts out of his office.

INT. OFFICE BUILDING MUSIC: “MOVE ON UP” by CURTIS MAYFIELD O.G. does a celebratory victory dance down the hallway. She sits back down at her desk, all smiles. She takes a deep breath and exhales. Relieved. Accomplished. Happy. She organizes the papersesmareldaknows.com on her desk as the moment subsides. Then, something occurs to her. The music suddenly cuts out. OUR GIRL Wait.

INT. BLOCKBUSTER VIDEO DOT No raise?! HANNAH That guy is an asshole. You should sue him. Sue him for being an asshole. 17.

OUR GIRL He said yes and then I just stopped listening. In my head I was already designing my new office. DOT What are you going to do? Can you go back and ask for the raise? OUR GIRL Are you kidding? I’ll look like such an idiot if I backtrack now and ask for more money. Besides, how much more could I really expect? I barely make enough to pay the bills as it is. HANNAH Speaking of, you still owe rent. O.G. takes a deep breath. OUR GIRL This isn’t that bad. I needed a new chapter and maybe this is it. Money doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter. Right? HANNAH I still say sue him. O.G. peruses the aisles of movies. HANNAH (CONT’D) What are weesmareldaknows.com looking for again? OUR GIRL I need the perfect movie. Something like Big or Freaky Friday where I can pretend I live in a world that lets me be someone other than myself for a whole day. Dot thinks she’s found it. DOT Ooh, The Parent Trap! That meets the Lindsay Lohan criteria. OUR GIRL No, there’s no magic there. They’re twins who get separated at birth and grow up never knowing the other one exists. 18.

HANNAH It’s pretty messed up when you think about it. Besides, the original is way better. DOT Guys, remember how good things were before Lindsay was a train wreck? HANNAH (reminiscing) Ah, 2004. Back when you could eat caramel without sea salt in it. DOT Back when parents couldn’t get on Facebook. O.G. holds up a VHS copy of “Spider-Man”. OUR GIRL Back when Tobey Maguire was the only Spider-Man. Hannah laughs, then looks around, confused by their surroundings. HANNAH Wait. Where are we? Dot points to the BLOCKBUSTER sign. DOT Yeah, do they even still make these anymore? esmareldaknows.com O.G. looks down at the VHS in her hand: it MELTS DOWN AND MORPHS into a television remote. OUR GIRL Huh? The four walls around her snap up like retracted projector screens. What the? FWOOOOSH! A VORTEX appears as Hannah and Dot are sucked screaming in to it. O.G. watches as aisles and aisles of movies zoom past her, disappearing into the growing black hole. 19.

OUR GIRL (CONT’D) What is happening???

INT. OUR GIRL’S APARTMENT - MORNING O.G. SNAPS awake from the dream. She’s on the couch again, clutching the remote. Dot and Hannah are passed out next to her. The Netflix menu flickers on the TV. Chinese take-out containers litter the coffee table. O.G. is in her same clothes from the day before. MUSIC: NYAN CAT THEME The first of her iPhone alarms startles her. She grabs the phone and hovers her finger over “tap to snooze” for a moment. Then, swipes right to switch it off. She’s awake. Series of shots: IN THE SHOWER O.G. washes her hair. It feels so nice. AT THE SINK Wrapped in a towel, O.G. searches through her cupboard. She finds an unopened box of Organic Honey Lavender face wash. She removes theesmareldaknows.com plastic wrap and smells it -- ooh that smells good -- O.G. washes her face. Brushes her teeth. Flosses. Blow drys her hair. Takes a look at herself in the mirror - the girl looks good. IN HER BEDROOM O.G. searches through her closet. There’s only a few things hanging up. But she spots a cute dress she hasn’t worn in a long time. She models it in her mirror. It’ll look good. She sets the dress down on the bed and takes another good, hard look at her body: eh. Not great, but not bad. She turns around to check out her butt and notices a spot on her hip. She gets closer to the mirror to inspect it. 20.

Is that a mole? Maybe if I lick my finger and wipe it off - no its still there. Was that there before? Well, when was the last time you really looked, dummy? Hmmm...

Thoughts race through her head. Oh well.

INT. HER CAR The same loud Top 40 pop music comes over the radio. She thinks a second and changes the station to Classic Rock. An old jam she almost forgot about comes on the airwaves - this is awesome!

EXT. FREEWAY No traffic. Her Car flies down the road.

EXT. OFFICE BUILDING O.G. parks. She checks the clock on her dashboard. She still has time. This day just keeps getting better! She takes a look around and spots--

INT. AN INTENSE COFFEE SHOP O.G. approaches the counter, puzzled by the confusing menu board. esmareldaknows.comSTUCK UP BARISTA Can I get you something? OUR GIRL Yeah, uh, I’m sorry. I don’t, I’m just not normally a coffee drinker. What’s good? STUCK UP BARISTA Excuse me? OUR GIRL Like, what should I get? STUCK UP BARISTA You should get coffee. OUR GIRL Right. Okay. Can I get a, uh, a latte? 21.

STUCK UP BARISTA What size? OUR GIRL Um. Grande? The Barista rolls his eyes at her Starbucks lingo. STUCK UP BARISTA What’s the name? OUR GIRL It’s-- PSSSSSSSHHHHHHH. The milk steamer drowns her out.

EXT. COFFEE SHOP She takes a sip of her coffee and gags. Ew, gross. She checks the time: ooh, better get back. She takes a few steps towards the office when something catches her eye. Broadway Melody. Well, a sun-faded poster of it. But that’s definitely Our Man’s face. He smiles at her from the window of a Video Rental store that has seen better days. She peeks through the window: row after row of every kind of movie peeks back at her. A neon “OPEN” sign switchesesmareldaknows.com on above her head. Intrigued, Our Girl enters the store.

INT. VIDEO PALACE Old, but well kept. Has a great retro feel about it. She strolls down the aisles, taking in the colorful covers of each video. She smiles fondly at the ones she remembers from her childhood. CASHIER (O.S.) Be right with you. OUR GIRL Oh, I’m just looking. From behind a beaded curtain, the Cashier emerges. He sips from a metal straw in a large mug. 22.

CASHIER That’s kind of what they’re there for. O.G. recognizes him - he’s the same Funny Looking Mailroom Guy she met in the elevator. OUR GIRL Hey, I know you. Don’t you work in the mailroom? CASHIER/MAILROOM GUY Three days a week, otherwise I’m here. But this place isn’t exactly keeping the lights on all by itself, you know. OUR GIRL I hear ya. In high school, my first job ever was working at a place like this. It was the best, just talk about movies all day, no emails, no business plans. Its a shame there’s barely any rental stores left anymore. CASHIER/MAILROOM GUY It’s okay. Skynet will take over soon and then we’ll all be dead. So there’s always that to look forward to. OUR GIRL Oh man, I better stock up on my two million sunblockesmareldaknows.com then. They both giggle at their dorky “Terminator” jokes. CASHIER/MAILROOM GUY You know, I could use some extra help around here if you ever want a second job. OUR GIRL (snorts) Ha! I appreciate the offer, but I am dying slowly enough with the one I already have now. She takes another swig of her coffee and grimaces. CASHIER/MAILROOM GUY Not a coffee drinker, huh? 23.

OUR GIRL Not really. Is that weird? Because coffee is okay, but I’ve never really understood all the hype. He offers up his mug and metal straw. CASHIER/MAILROOM GUY Here, try this. The liquid inside is a chunky green foamy grassy mess. OUR GIRL No offense, but that looks like something Oscar the Grouch would drink to cure a hangover. CASHIER/MAILROOM GUY Just take a sip, princess. The liquid gurgles and burps. O.G. gags. OUR GIRL That’s gross. CASHIER/MAILROOM GUY How do you know its gross if you’ve never even tried it? He’s got her there. OUR GIRL Touché. Still hesitant, she esmareldaknows.comcrinkles her nose and takes a sip. To her surprise... OUR GIRL (CONT’D) That’s actually pretty good. What is it? He grins and extends a hand, she shakes it. CASHIER/MAILROOM GUY I’m Bill. OUR GIRL Hi, Bill. I’m-- BILL I know who you are. She’s caught off guard. He hasn’t released her from the handshake yet, Bill pulls her in a little closer. 24.

BILL (CONT’D) I mean, I do deliver your mail. He lets out an awkward laugh and relaxes his grip. OUR GIRL Right. Well, nice to have met you officially, Bill. Thanks for the weird drink. She heads toward the door. BILL Wait, don’t you want to rent a movie? OUR GIRL Not today. Also, I’m pretty sure I can find most of these online. BILL Aw, come on. Bet I got a few even the great and powerful internet has never heard of. OUR GIRL Yeah, like indie films? BILL Something like that. They’re all just behind this curtain. He gestures towards the beads. Its starting to creep her out. esmareldaknows.comOUR GIRL Um, no thanks. I gotta get to work. She opens the door to leave. BILL Wait wait wait! He scrambles behind the counter, making a mess as he digs through a disheveled pile of tapes and random knick knacks. OUR GIRL I really have to-- He’s found it. Bill pops back up. BILL How about just this one, then? He places a VHS tape, in an unmarked red box, on the counter. 25.

BILL (CONT’D) I think you’ll like it. OUR GIRL Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but I really need to-- BILL C’mon. It’s the perfect movie. O.G. stops. What did he just say? BILL (CONT’D) What are you so worried about? It’s just a movie. It’s not going to hurt you. She’s at a loss. What is happening right now? BILL (CONT’D) You gotta keep watching it until the very end, though; no texting or eating junk food and passing out halfway through. How does he know all this?

He moves toward her and holds out the tape. BILL (CONT’D) Here. Take it. You’ll never know unless you try. O.G. hesitates. Its esmareldaknows.comall too weird and strange and different. OUR GIRL I... I don’t own a VCR. BILL I thought you were good at figuring things out. Do you want to watch it or not? She thinks. She really thinks. No distractions this time breaking her concentration. It’s just a movie, right? Our Girl takes the tape.

She inspects the box. No words. No pictures. Just a blank red cover. The tape slides out from the box and clatters to the floor. 26.

BILL (CONT’D) Be careful with that. It’s pretty old. O.G. picks up the tape. Again, no identifying marks other than a worn out STICKER of a medieval knight. OUR GIRL When do I bring it back? BILL Open-ended. Just don’t get it wet or feed it after midnight. She’s confused. Huh? BILL (CONT’D) It’s a joke. Bring it back whenever you’re done. I do have just one tiny, little warning though. OUR GIRL What’s that? BILL Don’t think about it too much. Film school kids, intellectuals, they all rewind and re-watch and overanalyze and they all make the same mistake. This movie is meant to be viewed once. And only once. Do not rewind it. Understand? She nods her head yes. He presents her a sign-out sheet on a clipboard. esmareldaknows.com BILL (CONT’D) Groovy. Then just sign right here at the bottom and I’ll see you on the other side. She signs her name and hands him back the clipboard. OUR GIRL The other side? On the other side of what?

INT. OFFICE BUILDING O.G. is suddenly sitting in her cubicle with no idea how she got there. Ping pops over O.G.’s shoulder, startling her. 27.

PING They have real doctors for that, you know. OUR GIRL Ah! What? I, huh, where am I? PING This is really NSFW. ANGLE ON: O.G.’s computer screen. A WebMD page displays gross images of various types of moles. O.G. stands abruptly, searching herself, making sure she’s okay, not knowing what just happened. PING (CONT’D) Whoa. Is this some “I’m dying now” paranoid freak-out? OUR GIRL What? No. I’m not dying. O.G. sits. It must have been another daydream... OUR GIRL (CONT’D) At least I don’t think I am. PING You never know. Hey, my friend is spinning this huge rager tonight. DJ Hot Pockets is doing a set after Rattlequake performs. Wanna come? esmareldaknows.comOUR GIRL Do you ever sleep? PING Meh. You get used to it. Here’s the info if you’re down. She sets a flyer on the desk and turns back to her station. O.G. composes herself, convinced it was all a dream. Besides, she doesn’t even have the red-- she stops. The red box is sitting underneath the flyer.

EXT. A HIGH SCHOOL - NIGHT The kids in line all wear neon pink tutu’s and dance with glow sticks. 28.

Looking out of place and miserable, O.G., Dot and Hannah are huddled together freezing their butts off. DOT This place hurts my soul. HANNAH Why are we here again? OUR GIRL This is the address on the flyer. A TEEN COUPLE plays tonsil hockey uncomfortably close to Hannah. HANNAH That still doesn’t answer my question. OUR GIRL I just thought it’d be fun to go out for once. The Teen Couple are practically dry-humping next to Hannah. HANNAH This is actually the opposite of my idea of fun. DOT Can’t you just text your friend and say, “Oh em gee, I was looking all over for you” or something like that? esmareldaknows.com OUR GIRL I just... I want to see what’s inside. HANNAH Oh come on. You know what’s inside. A bunch of tweaked out oversexed teens all popping molly and dancing like this. Hannah performs a weird trance-like dance. OUR GIRL Will you stop being such a cynical jerk for once and stay with me? DOT I miss blankets. Why are there no blankets here? 29.

Teen Couple’s furious make out session shoves in to Hannah. HANNAH I can’t. That’s it. This is stupid and I’m not gonna stay here and be stupid with you. I’m out. You coming, D? Dot slowly inches away with Hannah. DOT (to O.G.) Sorry, dude. There’s blankets where she’s going. OUR GIRL Really? You’re going to leave me here by myself? HANNAH Text me when you crawl out of your rabbit hole. I’ll be at home. Dot and Hannah leave her. O.G. is annoyed. She looks around at her surroundings. This is stupid. She doesn’t belong here. She takes a step out of the line to leave and looks up to see: A KNIGHT. Well, an image of it. Its the school’s mascot and is plastered on the sideesmareldaknows.com of the gymnasium: PASO RANCH HIGH SCHOOL - HOME OF THE FIGHTING KNIGHTS! She thinks for a second, staring at the knight. Then TICKET GIRL Next. O.G. is holding up the line, still thinking. The other kids stare at her, annoyed. TICKET GIRL (CONT’D) Next?

O.G. snaps out of it and gets back in line to buy a ticket. OUR GIRL One, please. 30.

TICKET GIRL Just you? O.G. looks around. Everyone else is a couple. It makes her sad, but doesn’t stop her. OUR GIRL Yeah, it’s just me. O.G. hands over money and Ticket Girl stamps her hand with a picture of a butterfly. TICKET GIRL Next.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYM - NIGHT A neon nightmare rages inside. The music is high pitched and whirring. So many strobe lights and awful noises. Yuck. She takes our her phone. OUR GIRL (TEXT) I’m here. Where are you? No reply. She finds a seat in the corner and flips through Instagram to pass the time, oblivious to the world around her. Through the high-pitched electronica she hears a low rhythmic thumping. It’s almost tribal. thumpthump thumpthump thudathump thumpthump She lifts her eyes fromesmareldaknows.com her phone. That can’t be coming from in here. She looks around and sees an exit door leading to a lighted hallway. The thumping gets louder as she moves closer.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY O.G. exits the gym and follows the thumping down the hallway. OUR GIRL (sotto) What is this, Jumanji? The thumping gets louder, drawing her to a classroom door. ThumpThump ThumpThump ThudaThump ThumpThump It’s very loud now. She peeks inside through a little square window, maybe its a science room? Then 31.

She sees it.

Sitting at the front of the room is an old television, mounted on a cart. On a shelf below, hooked up to the TV... is a VCR. THUMP THATHUMP THATHUMP THUMP THATHUMP THATHUMP It’s deafening. It’s all she can hear. She reaches down, turns the handle and enters the classroom.

INT. SCIENCE CLASSROOM Old. Poorly tended to. Its your typical science classroom. Solar System mobiles hang from the ceiling, dated charts plaster the walls: The Periodic Table of Elements, The Food Chain, Bug Classifications. A little bit of everything. O.G. closes the door behind her and switches on the lights. The thumping stops. She removes the Red Box from her purse. Our Girl turns on the TV and pops the tape into the VCR. She finds a chair, settles in, takes a deep breath esmareldaknows.com and hits play. That familiar whirring and clicking sound of a tape warming up is music to her ears. ANGLE ON: THE TV - Snow crackles and pops. White Noise fills the air as she gets impatient. Nothing is happening. Is there even anything on this tape? Then: BANG! The door BURSTS OPEN. A stuffy-looking white guy in a boring suit enters. He reads quickly off of a piece of paper. 32.

COPYRIGHT Warning. Any use or exhibition of this video other than non- commercial home viewing is prohibited. Federal law provides severe civil and criminal penalties for the unauthorized reproduction, distribution or exhibition of copyrighted motion pictures. Criminal copyright infringement is investigated by the FBI and may constitute a felony with a maximum penalty of up to five years in prison and/or a $250,000 fine. O.G. stares wide-eyed at the man. What the hell? Copyright sucks in more air and flips the page. COPYRIGHT (CONT’D) International agreement and national laws protect copyrighted motion pictures, videotapes and sound recordings. (Loudly) UNAUTHORIZED REPRODUCTION, EXHIBITION OR DISTRIBUTION OF COPYRIGHTED MOTION PICTURES CAN RESULT IN SEVERE CRIMINAL AND CIVIL PENALTIES UNDER THE LAWS OF YOUR COUNTRY. He licks his finger and flips to the last page. COPYRIGHT (CONT’D) This motionesmareldaknows.com picture has been rated PG-13 for disturbing thematic material, violence, sexuality and brief drug use. Please enjoy the show. Without so much as a glance in her direction, he takes his papers and leaves the classroom. OUR GIRL Wh... What... CLICK! The lights switch off. She’s shrouded in darkness. Her breathing quickens, scared. A BRIGHT LIGHT FLASHES and suddenly she is in 33.

EXT. OUTER SPACE Stars. Planets. Nebulas, galaxies, amazing wonder surrounds her. It’s beautiful. Peaceful. She’s overwhelmingly mesmerized. Then WHOOSH! A LARGE WHITE OBJECT flies over her head followed by another. And another. And another. She turns to see where they are going and is faced head on with PLANET EARTH. It’s huge. Blue and beautiful, rotating slowly in its orbit, back lit by the sun. It’s incredible. MUSIC comes out of nowhere, startling her. A symphony of horns and drums play a familiar tune. The White Objects are LETTERS, gathering together to form the word “UNIVERSAL”. Her eyes shift back and forth. She realizes: she’s in a logo. The lights dim around her, turning into blackness. OUR GIRL Wait. But I-- VWOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM She’s violently sucked through a wormhole.

Back. Forth. Up. Down.esmareldaknows.com It twists and turns taking her on a hellish ride. Then it opens. She’s floating, hovering in the atmosphere for a gentle moment...... and then... she’s falling. Earth races towards her faster and faster, roads, homes, grass come hurtling in to view. She’s going to crash. She screams and braces herself for impact. CUT TO BLACK. 34.

PART TWO morning already?

esmareldaknows.com 35.

FADE IN:

INT. SCIENCE CLASSROOM - MORNING Our Girl blinks her eyes open. She’s back in the classroom. She stands, disoriented, but not afraid necessarily. Something just doesn’t feel right. OUR GIRL Morning already? The door opens. A teenage girl wearing a horrifically ugly sweater, back brace, and headgear enters. She stumbles, dropping her books. BACK BRACE GIRL Aw, fudge nuggets. The girl tries bending down to pick up the books, but her correctional garments make it difficult. O.G. hurries to help the girl collect her things. BACK BRACE GIRL (CONT’D) Gee, thanks. You didn’t have to do that. OUR GIRL No worries.esmareldaknows.com I do this all the time. O.G. hears pop music coming from the hallway. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) What time is it? Is Rattlequake still spinning? BACK BRACE GIRL I’m sorry? OUR GIRL The dance. It’s over by now, right? BACK BRACE GIRL The dance? The dance is tonight. Are you, like, a transfer student or something? 36.

OUR GIRL Student? No I’m not a-- wait. Do you really think I look like I could be in high school? BACK BRACE GIRL (shrugs) Yeah, I guess so. O.G. smiles and primps. OUR GIRL Baller. Thanks. Back Brace Girl holds out her hand. BACK BRACE GIRL I’m Ellie. OUR GIRL Hi Ellie. I’m-- THE BELL RINGS. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) That’s really getting annoying. The doors open as waves of high school kids fill the classroom. O.G. glances at the clock: 8:25am. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Eight twenty five? Damn, I’m gonna be late for work! esmareldaknows.comELLIE Well it was nice meeting you. Don’t be a stranger. OUR GIRL Nice meeting you, too. O.G. pushes her way through the kids.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY O.G. moves quickly towards the exit. Kids still linger in the hallway, finding their way to class. They listen to boom boxes. And Walkmen. Huh? She starts to notice their hair. Their clothes. The colors. Its all very... retro. 37.

OUR GIRL (sotto) What is this, Totally 80’s Day? She doesn’t notice the banner above her that says “HUGHESVILLE HIGH SCHOOL CLASS OF ‘84 RULES!”

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY She exits the front door and heads towards the street. She picks up the pace, stepping off the sidewalk. BOING! An invisible force field sends her FLYING backwards. OK, now she’s scared. She tries to stand up, but her legs are jelly. She trips and falls hard on her behind. She moans from the ground. A man’s hand is offered to her. MISTER HAND (O.S.) Need some help? O.G. takes his hand and stands. OUR GIRL Ow, my ass. Thanks, what the heck is out there? I... She sees him. It’s Our Man. esmareldaknows.comOUR MAN (shrugs) College, I guess. That was quite a fall. You gonna be okay? He wears a sweater vest and slacks. The epitome of a 1980’s preppy dreamboat. His gorgeous eyes smile back at her. She melts. OUR GIRL Yeah, I think so. She looks around. Nothing about this place is familiar. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Actually, and I’m sorry if this sounds totally crazy and weird, but... where am I? He chuckles. 38.

OUR MAN This is Hughesville. Are you a transfer student or something? OUR GIRL Hughesville. That wouldn’t be named after John Hughes, would it? OUR MAN (shrugs) I don’t know, I’ve never asked. A SECOND BELL RINGS OUR MAN (CONT’D) Listen, I gotta get to class, but I can show you to the Admin Office. OUR GIRL Uh, sure. Let’s see if that helps. Still puzzled, she follows him back into the building.

INT. ADMIN OFFICE O.G. waits at the counter, nervously drumming her fingers. The cheery Admin Clerk, EDIE, flips through a file. EDIE Okay, here we go. Daily class schedule, weekly lunch schedule, (pot roast today), and monthly events schedule.esmareldaknows.com You can buy your dance tickets from the student body and if you need anything else, you just ask for Edie. All right there, Hun? OUR GIRL Edie, help me. I’m not an idiot, okay? I know that none of this is really real. But I also know that I have no clue what the frig is going on. Where the hell am I? Edie pulls a paper from the file. EDIE Oh, well here’s a map of the school. (MORE) 39. EDIE (CONT'D) Gym is to your right, cafeteria is on the other side of the library and restrooms are centrally located throughout the building. Now, isn’t that helpful? OUR GIRL No, Edie. It is not helpful. Look, I’ve already been to high school. I finished high school. I am not. In. High School. Edie gives a playful look around. EDIE Oh, no, yeah, I think ya are. Now ya better hurry, you’ve already missed most of first period. Scoot! O.G. collects her file and stomps out of the office. OUR GIRL This dream blows. EDIE What a sweet girl. If only she wasn’t such a little bitch.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY O.G. sorts through her paperwork, trying to figure out where to go next. ANGLE ON: Her class esmareldaknows.comschedule. 8:30am Home Room. 9:30am Biology. 10:30am English. And so on. OUR GIRL Ugh, why isn’t real life like this? THE BELL RINGS Kids pour out in to the hallway. She keeps her head buried, not noticing a group of JOCKS walking right at her. One of them leans his shoulder in. BUMP! She’s knocked off balance, her papers fly everywhere. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Hey! She bends down to pick them up. 40.

JOCK (O.S.) Watch where you’re going, dweeb. She recognizes that voice. OUR GIRL ...Frank? Sure enough, its Frank. He doesn’t look younger or anything, so he is a man in his 40’s wearing a Letterman Jacket and surrounded by a band of teenage cronies. FRANK Frank? Who’s Frank? He pops his collar and flips his hair. FRANK/CHAD I’m Chad. And you better finish my homework by third period or it’s gonna be Noogie City for the rest of the week. OUR GIRL Finish your homework? I don’t even go to this school. FRANK/CHAD Oh... well... SLAP! He knocks the papers out of her hands again and takes off running down the hallway, cackling as he goes. FRANK/JOCK Look at thatesmareldaknows.com nerd! Picking up papers like... like a nerd. THE SECOND BELL RINGS Kids finish finding their classrooms. O.G. gathers her things. Again. She consults her schedule. Oh, she’s right in front of her biology class. Sweet.

INT. SCIENCE CLASSROOM. The same one. She takes a seat in the back and looks around. Damn, the TV and VCR are gone. 41.

The BIOLOGY TEACHER up front drones on about mitosis or scoliosis or something. O.G. gets bored and reaches in her back pocket for her phone. It isn’t there. What? No. She stands up, searching herself. BIOLOGY TEACHER Is there a problem? Everyone in the room is suddenly looking at O.G. OUR GIRL No, I, uh. I can’t find my phone. BIOLOGY TEACHER Your phone? Everyone laughs. BIOLOGY TEACHER (CONT’D) If its an emergency, there is a phone in the nurse’s office. If it is not, then sit down and wait until you are at home. O.G. sits sheepishly back down. Biology Teacher continues the lecture. It’s so boring. O.G. feels like her right hand is missing. She sulks and pantomimes being able to text her friends. ELLIE Psst! esmareldaknows.com O.G. looks up. A couple rows over, Ellie gives her a huge metal smile and waves like an idiot. She drops a folded note on the ground and kicks it in O.G.’s direction. In RED INK, the outside of the note reads “TOP SECRET: FOR YOUR EYES ONLY.”

Our Girl picks it up.

O.G. unfolds the note slowly, hoping for a clue towards her next move. She smoothes out the creases and reads the message inside. It says: “Hi.” 42.

She looks back up at Ellie, who waves again, giddy and excited. Deflated with disappointment, O.G. gives a halfhearted wave back.

INT. ELLIE’S BEDROOM - LATER Ellie lays on her stomach flipping through a TIGER BEAT-style magazine. Her walls are covered in posters of teeny bopper boys from the 70’s and 80’s. ELLIE Who do you think is cuter? Shaun Cassidy or David Cassidy? O.G. is next to her, confused and disoriented. Weren’t they just in class?

OUR GIRL Wait. Weren’t we just... O.G. blanches and burps, looks like she’s about to throw up. ELLIE I like Shaun. Everyone always likes David, but Shaun has those big, dreamy eyes. OUR GIRL I don’t... hrrmph. Yep, she’s going to esmareldaknows.comthrow up. ELLIE Plus he’s a way better singer. Everyone always says... O.G. hurls into a garbage can as Ellie prattles on. ELLIE (CONT’D) What do you want to do tonight? We can braid each other’s hair or listen to some records? I just got these for my birthday, but I haven’t opened them yet. She holds up unwrapped LP’s of Black Lace “Agadoo” and Prince & The Revolution “Purple Rain.” O.G.’s sickness subsides. She points to Purple Rain. 43.

OUR GIRL Definitely that one. Ellie, I need your help. Do you own a VCR? Ellie lets out a thick snort. ELLIE Yeah right, who do I look like, Princess Diana? BAM! Ellie’s door opens as Frank bursts in. FRANK/CHAD Hey, butthead. Mom says to set the table for dinner. He spots O.G. and moves menacingly toward her. FRANK/CHAD (CONT’D) Well, look who it is. If it isn’t the nerd. Bet I can find some homework for you to do for me now, nerd. Ellie tries to shove him out of the room. ELLIE Get out of here, Chad! You’re just too stupid to do it yourself. She’s my friend and you’re not going to scare this one away! FRANK/CHAD Fine. Jeeze,esmareldaknows.com don’t go ballistic. Frank points to O.G. as he closes the door. FRANK/CHAD (CONT’D) I’m coming back for you. ELLIE Sorry. My brother can be a real idiot sometimes. OUR GIRL You don’t know the half of it. O.G. stands, pacing around the room talking to herself. Ellie watches her. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Okay, come on. Think. Think. You’re in 1984. (MORE) 44. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) You didn’t show up in any Deloreans or phone booths, so this isn’t time travel. How did you get here? Try to remember how you got here. She stops. Remembering: OUR GIRL (CONT’D) I fell asleep! I fell asleep in that classroom, so this is a dream. Okay, so now the question is, how do I wake up? ELLIE You could set an alarm. That’s what usually wakes me up in the morning. OUR GIRL Yes! Ellie, you’re a genius. Do you have an alarm clock? ELLIE Sure, here. Ellie hands her an old-fashioned Mickey Mouse alarm clock. OUR GIRL Okay, set it for one minute from now and I’m just going to close my eyes and try to relax. ELLIE Okay. Ellie winds the alarmesmareldaknows.com clock as O.G. lies down on the floor. ELLIE (CONT’D) Where do you want it? OUR GIRL Ummm, here. Just put it here by my head. Ellie sets the alarm clock next to O.G. It lets out a tiny “tick tick tick tick tick”, almost like a bomb. O.G. peeks an eye open. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Did you set it? ELLIE Yeah. 45.

OUR GIRL How much time do we have left? ELLIE I don’t know, I wasn’t looking. OUR GIRL Okay, okay. I’ll just be quiet and wait. ELLIE Okay. tick tick tick tick tick O.G. looks uncomfortably at the ticking alarm right next to her head. It’s making her nervous. OUR GIRL How loud is this thing normally? ELLIE Pretty loud. OUR GIRL Should we, like, move it? I don’t want it damaging my hearing. tick tick tick tick tick ELLIE Where should I move it to? Tick tick tick tick esmareldaknows.comtick OUR GIRL I dunno, not too far. I still need to-- no. Leave it here. I need to hear it so that it actually wakes-- BRRRRRRINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG! The loud alarm goes off, startling both of the girls. Ellie shuts it off as O.G. stands, holding her ears. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Well, that didn’t work. Okay, how else? ELLIE How else what? 46.

OUR GIRL How else do you wake from a dream? Like, in the movies, if someone is asleep what are some ways that they get woken up? She thinks for a second. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Woken up? Waken up? Woke up? Awoken? Ellie stares at her, puzzled. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) It’s like I can’t even speak English anymore. O.G. closes her eyes, trying to concentrate, she thinks hard. Ellie thinks too, flips through her TIGER BEAT, the cute boys on the cover calling to her. ELLIE You could get kissed by a prince! OUR GIRL Oh my gosh, you’re right. Like Snow White or Sleeping Beauty. That’s perfect. O.G. gets another bright idea. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) The record!esmareldaknows.com Hand me the record. Ellie scrambles off of her bed and hands O.G. “Purple Rain”. O.G. holds it out in front of her, staring into Prince’s eyes as he stares back at her from his smoldering motorcycle. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to get through this thing called... life. She presses the record to her lips. Ellie looks on adoringly as though it is a real true fairy tale come to life. O.G. peeks an eye open: still in Ellie’s room. She sinks. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Fudge nuggets. 47.

She tosses the record back on to the bed and buries her face in her hands. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) I can’t. I’m going to be stuck here forever. ELLIE Now, hey. My Gram Gram always used to say, “if you believe in yourself you can accomplish anything.” We can figure this out. OUR GIRL You’re too young to know this, Ellie, but your Gram Gram has been hocking you a bunch of Disney princess bullshit. That kind of stuff doesn’t fly in the real world. ELLIE Always made me feel better... O.G. lays back on the bed and looks up at the ceiling. A picture of Anthony Michael Hall stares back down at her. She groans and buries her face in her hands again. SFX: A CAR HORN HONKS Ellie goes to the window. ANGLE ON: Frank runs out of the house towards an idling car. esmareldaknows.comFRANK/CHAD Bye Mom, I’m going to the dance! Ellie turns back towards O.G., a wicked look in her eye. ELLIE I know where we can find a prince. O.G. sits up, suspicious. OUR GIRL ...where?

INT. HUGHESVILLE HIGH SCHOOL - GYM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DANCE FLOOR Ellie is in a puffy frilly pink prom dress and O.G. is dressed exactly like Madonna. 48.

ELLIE The Dance! A totally 80’s prom/homecoming-type dance rages around them. O.G. is going to hurl again; rushes to a nearby trash can. Meanwhile, an excited Ellie dances to the fun music. She’s limited with her back brace, but she boogies as best as she can, letting the music move her body. The cool kids all give Ellie a weird look and start to laugh. A typical 80’S MEAN GIRL “accidentally” trips her, knocking Ellie to the ground. 80’S MEAN GIRL Whoops. Sorry, loser. No one helps her up, they all just laugh. O.G. wipes her mouth and sees this. She quickly rises and rushes to Ellie’s aide. O.G. helps Ellie off the floor and then turns to the MEAN GIRL. OUR GIRL Seriously? You’re picking on the girl with the back brace? Could you be more of a cliche? 80’S MEAN GIRL Chill out. It was just a joke. OUR GIRL A joke? Youesmareldaknows.com know what? That’s fine. Get it out of your system now, because Ellie, Ellie is going to be okay. Thirty years from now the “losers” are going to own every single one of you pea-brained drones and you’ll be following her awesome life on Instagram from the crappy, bed-bug-infested couch you found on Craigslist. The kids all stare at her, puzzled. COOL KID Who’s Craig? O.G. takes Ellie’s hand and leaves the cool kids. OUR GIRL Let’s go. 49.

Ellie can barely contain her excitement as they scurry off the dance floor. ELLIE That was so rad! OUR GIRL Ellie, focus. How did we get here? ELLIE I don’t know. I was thinking “we’re never going to find a prince just sitting here in my bedroom”, and now here we are. An EXCITED TEEN runs past them. EXCITED TEEN They’re announcing the Royal Court! Everyone crowds around the gym’s stage. Finally, O.G. spots him. Our Man. Looking dapper and perfect, eyes sparkling, smile lighting up the room. OUR GIRL A prince. Ellie, have I mentioned that you’re a genius? ELLIE Aw, I just like being your friend. OUR GIRL Come on. esmareldaknows.com From the back of the gymnasium, they watch the “Royal Court” proceedings take place. O.G. and Ellie try to make their way towards the front, but they are blocked at every turn. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Excuse me... Pardon me... Move your ass, people! It’s like no one can even hear her. The crowd cheers loudly. ON STAGE A crown is being placed on top of Our Man’s head, he waves to his “subjects”. BACK IN THE CROWD 50.

O.G. and Ellie are in a deadlock. Through the noise, O.G. hears a small voice. SMALL VOICE (O.S.) Stop! Please, help! O.G. turns toward the sound. In a dark corner, she spots Frank and his cronies huddled over a small body, kicking and punching it. O.G. looks back to Our Man on the stage. So far away. FRANK/CHAD (O.S.) Bet you won’t forget to do my homework tomorrow, will you nerd? O.G. gives up trying to get through the crowd and runs to help the Small Voice. She grabs Frank and throws him off with an enormous amount of force. OUR GIRL What is wrong with you people? Frank goes FLYING, making a dent in a row of lockers as he crashes backwards. Ellie and the cronies all look on astonished. ELLIE Whoa. O.G. can’t believe what just happened. She rushes to Frank, hoping he isn’t hurt.esmareldaknows.com OUR GIRL Oh my god, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean... are you hurt? FRANK/CHAD Huh... what...? Frank comes to; he sees O.G. FRANK/CHAD (CONT’D) Don’t touch me! Okay, okay. I’ll, uh... I’ll do my own homework. Just, leave me alone you crazy. He scrambles to his feet and beckons his cronies. FRANK/CHAD (CONT’D) Let’s go, fellas. 51.

Frank and the boys run off. The Small Voice groans from the ground. O.G. goes to his side. OUR GIRL Are you okay? It’s a small teen boy. In body, he looks exactly like Anthony Michael Hall in “Sixteen Candles”, but his face... It’s Bill.

OUR GIRL (CONT’D) You! O.G. pulls him up and presses him against the wall. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) What did you do to me? Why can’t I get out of here? She lifts him higher by his shoulders, his feet dangle. Ellie marvels at her incredible strength. BILL/SMALL VOICE Whoa, hey. Take it easy, She-Hulk. Weren’t you the one just saving me? O.G. realizes what she’s doing and drops him to the ground. She looks to the stage, it’s empty. Our Man is nowhere to be seen. OUR GIRL Where did he go? esmareldaknows.comBILL/SMALL VOICE Who? She sinks. OUR GIRL The prince. BILL/SMALL VOICE (scoffs) That guy’s no prince. If you really want to get out of here, I know a way. OUR GIRL How? BILL/SMALL VOICE I got you in here, didn’t I? 52.

He opens the door to a nearby JANITOR’S CLOSET. BILL/SMALL VOICE (CONT’D) Let’s go. She pauses, contemplating. Takes a step forward then stops. OUR GIRL Ellie. She turns around to see Ellie smiling, not like an idiot, just really happy. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) I’m sorry, I-I have to... ELLIE Don’t worry, I understand. Here. Ellie reaches around her neck and takes off a cheap plastic heart-shaped necklace. ELLIE (CONT’D) I always wanted someone to give the other half to. She separates the hearts and gives one to O.G. ELLIE (CONT’D) Best Friends Forever? O.G. takes the necklace and puts it around her neck. OUR GIRL Forever. Thankesmareldaknows.com you, Ellie. They embrace. O.G. turns back to Bill and steps in to the closet with him. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Alright, geek. Where we going next? Bill smirks and closes the door behind them. Ellie struts back to the dance floor, an empowered grin covering her face. She stands square in the middle as the other kids around her look on, befuddled. ELLIE Come on, you double drag fools. I thought this was a party! MUSIC: “1999” by Prince and the Revolution 53.

Ellie, back brace and all, leads the entire school in a choreographed dance routine to “1999”. CUT TO BLACK.

esmareldaknows.com 54.

PART THREE where are we?

esmareldaknows.com 55.

INT. DARKNESS Complete and total blackness. Only voices are heard. OUR GIRL (O.S.) Where are we? BILL (O.S.) What, you’ve never played seven minutes in heaven before? OUR GIRL (O.S.) Seriously. What’s going on? BILL (O.S.) The lights are around here somewhere. Just let me... OUR GIRL (O.S.) Hey! BILL (O.S.) Sorry. Sorry. Accident, I swear. A gentleman, am I. OUR GIRL (O.S.) Just find the damn lights, Mr. Gentleman. BILL (O.S.) They always make this such a chore. Okay, uh... here they are. Let there be light! THE LIGHTS COME ON. esmareldaknows.com OUR GIRL Whoa.

INT. THE FIFTH QUADRANT Infinite. Expansive. O.G. and Bill (back in their normal bodies/clothes) stand in the center of The Fifth Quadrant. It is a universe in itself, where stills and posters of every imaginable movie/film orbit and float in the atmosphere around them. Every so often a movie “clip” will rocket past them like an asteroid. OUR GIRL What is this place? A Wizard of Oz “clip” circles and zooms past her. 56.

DOROTHY (CLIP) Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.

Bill walks her through the space. Posters and stills part, making a path as they stroll. BILL This is the Fifth Quadrant. An infinite universe where every movie you’ve ever seen lives, breathes and coexists together in your mind. OUR GIRL Wait. So we are inside of my head right now? BILL Something like that. I’d show you around my Fifth Quadrant, but I’m a pretty big horror fan so I don’t know if you could handle it. He opens a black door in the middle of the space. A “clip” from The Evil Dead (1981) floats past. LINDA (CLIP) (singing) We’re going to get you. We’re going to get you. Not another peep. Time to go to sleep. O.G. is creeped out and takes a step back. He closes the door and *poof!* the dooresmareldaknows.com disappears. BILL Told ya. Bill takes a look around at O.G.’s Fifth Quadrant. BILL (CONT’D) Looks like you watch a little bit of everything. O.G. gazes at the wonder around her, unable to believe her eyes. OUR GIRL This is incredible. I have so many questions. Is my real body back on Earth? Are we on Earth? Is this still a dream? Why am I here? How did you get here? 57.

The world around them shakes and rattles, like an earthquake. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) What is this? What’s happening right now? A few of the stills and posters fall down and shatter. BILL Stop! Just stop. What did I tell you? The shaking stops. She picks up a piece of shattered poster. It’s made of glass. BILL (CONT’D) You can’t think about it too much. You’ll knock all the magic off the walls. She touches the edge of the glass poster shard; it cuts her finger. She drops it and bleeds. OUR GIRL Ow! BILL Everything in here is still very real. You need to be careful with each choice you make. O.G. sucks on her finger. Looks all around. So confused, so unsure. esmareldaknows.comOUR GIRL I... but... how... Bill helps her up as they continue their tour. BILL Look, I’ll give you exactly what I got. Three questions, and then that’s it. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Everything else, you’ll have to figure out on your own. OUR GIRL Three questions. Isn’t that a little cliche? 58.

BILL Why, yes. It is a cliche. You know, maybe don’t waste an important question when you already know the answer. Sarcasm... feels so 1995. A “clip” from The Simpson’s Movie floats past O.G.’s head. HOMER (CLIP) D’oh! BILL You’ve got two questions left. She purses her lips and thinks about her next question, looks at her surroundings and sees a cluster of Superhero stills and posters. OUR GIRL Frank. When I threw him off of you... I’m not that strong. Am I? BILL In these universes, you are as strong as your emotions will allow you to be. Whatever you were feeling in that moment, you allowed it to have control over your actions. OUR GIRL He just... he made me so angry. BILL He didn’t esmareldaknows.commake you anything. You saw something and you chose to get angry. It all happens very fast sometimes, but its something you’ll learn to control. His stomach rumbles. BILL (CONT’D) Oh man. All this interdimensional travel really works up an appetite. A “clip” of The Godfather zooms past and hovers for a moment. Don Vito Corleone has just been gunned down, oranges scattered around him. Bill reaches in to the clip, plucking out an orange. He peels it and pops a slice in his mouth. Offers it to O.G. 59.

BILL (CONT’D) Orange? O.G. watches in amazement as the Godfather “clip” zips back off into the universe. OUR GIRL How... Bill holds up a hand and chews his orange. BILL I’ll save you wasting another question. I told you: this is all real. Everything you see, touch, smell, hear, taste. It’s all as real as anything else you’ve ever encountered in any other life. A Singin’ in the Rain “clip” hovers in front of O.G. Don Lockwood sings the titular song and dances with his umbrella. She slowly reaches in to the frame and pulls her hand out after a moment. It’s soaking wet.

Her eyes tear up. She’s starting to believe. OUR GIRL This is... I can’t even... A “clip” of Jodie Foster in Contact zooms past. esmareldaknows.comJODIE FOSTER (CLIP) No words. They should have sent a poet.

O.G. laughs. OUR GIRL I love that movie. BILL These, everything you see here, these are the tools to build your perfect movie. OUR GIRL It’s so overwhelming. I can’t-- I don’t even know where to start. Bill smiles. 60.

BILL Kids today. Can’t do anything without some kind of remote control. He pushes an invisible panel and a small wall opens outward. FROM INSIDE THE INVISIBLE WALL A GOLDEN SAFE emerges. Bill fiddles with the combination. BILL (CONT’D) 39... 76... 85... and 94. The safe opens. Bill removes a GOLDEN VELVET PILLOW, a pair of RED-RIMMED 3D- GLASSES sits atop. Bill presents the Glasses to O.G. BILL (CONT’D) Here. Try them on. O.G. takes the Glasses and slips them on. THE VIEW FROM HER 3D-GLASSES VISION: [NOTE: bolded text denotes the view is through her Glasses] The posters, stills, and clips all suddenly organize themselves in to different categories like a giant, infinite Netflix Menu.

Classic War Stories.esmareldaknows.com Action Thrillers. Showbiz Comedies. Heist Films. Adventures. Courtroom Dramas. Spoofs & Satires. They are all labeled and grouped together accordingly. As she moves her eyes, a golden box appears around the individual categories, like selecting with a remote control.

OUR GIRL This is so cool. BILL The glasses track your retinal movements and operate off of voice commands. She scans the different categories, they zip by fast or slow based off of her eye movements. She zips through rapidly, reaching the end of the menu.

She spots the last category. 61.

Labeled “Section X”, there are no posters or stills in this category. Just one moving photo of rusted metal cogs and gears rotating around.

OUR GIRL Section X. There’s nothing in that one. BILL Yeah, that one... They started putting it together a few years back and no one has really figured out what to do with it yet. OUR GIRL Who are “they”? The walls rattle and shake again. A few more glass posters shatter. BILL You never learn, do you? Now, this little button here-- He points to a tiny button on the right side of the Glasses. BILL (CONT’D) This brings up the Home Menu. She taps it. A menu appears with a few basic commands:

Home. Menu. Help. Subtitles. Play/Pause. Stop. Fast Forward. Rewind. esmareldaknows.com

O.G. gives him a smug look. OUR GIRL So, rewinding is bad... but there’s still a rewind button. BILL People like choices, kid. Don’t read too much in to it. OUR GIRL You said it responds to voice commands? BILL Only one. When you are ready, make sure the gold box is focused on your selection. 62.

She hovers her eyes around the “FAST FORWARD” selection.

BILL (CONT’D) Then you say “Let’s go.” OUR GIRL Let’s go? BING! She’s made her selection. Bill starts moving in fast forward around her, wandering the space, explaining many things, but she can’t tell what he’s saying. He’s moving too fast! She takes off the glasses. The posters and stills move back into a chaotic orbit along with Bill. Everything is moving so fast, its hard to think straight. A “clip” of The Dark Knight rockets past. THE JOKER (CLIP) ...well then everyone loses their minds! OUR GIRL No! Wait! Uhh, uhh... Bill keeps moving. She tries to grab him, but can’t. Everything keeps moving faster and faster around, she has no control over any of it. A “clip” of Finding esmareldaknows.comNemo goes by. CRUSH (CLIP) Righteous! Righteous! Yeah! OUR GIRL Pause! Stop! Gah! No, wait, what do I do? What do I do? What do I do? He’s still moving. EVERYTHING IS MOVING. She searches for something, anything. His frazzled erratic movements, the crazy spinning universe scrambling her brain. She presses her hands to her face and yells in frustration. A “clip” of Star Wars: Episode IV zooms past. OBI-WAN KENOBI (CLIP) Use the force, Luke. Let go. 63.

Then she sees the Glasses, still in her hands. OUR GIRL Let go. Right! Oh right. Okay, uhhh She puts the Glasses back on. The stills and posters stop zooming and regroup, but Bill keeps moving in Fast Forward.

OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Okay, that’s a little better. Alright, menu... menu... uh, yes. She pushes the tiny button again. The Home Menu appears again. She hovers her eyes around the “Stop” selection, focusing in.

OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Let’s go. FZZZZ-POP! Bill stops for a moment, the image of his body twitches like a paused VHS and then *poof!* he’s gone. She takes the Glasses off. The posters and stills move back in to an unorganized orbit, but it is more peaceful than in the Fast Forward mode. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Bill? No! Bill, where’d you go? O.G. makes her way throughesmareldaknows.com the posters and stills, looking for Bill. Doesn’t see him anywhere. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Bill! Come back. You haven’t told me how to get out of here. Where’s the Eject button? You didn’t answer my last question, you stupid jerk! What am I supposed to do now? CRASH! A poster behind her falls off the wall and shatters. She turns towards the sound. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Bill? A “clip” of Ghostbusters zooms past her. DANA (CLIP) There is no Dana, only Zuul. 64.

O.G. gets a bright idea. OUR GIRL Horror. He said he likes horror. Okay, think. Right! The glasses, okay. She puts the Glasses back on. The posters and stills re-organize in to their categories.

She scans the horror-themed groups, searching for the perfect one. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Creature Features. Slashers and Serial Killers. Zombies. Terrifying imagery flashes. It scares the crap out of her. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) C’mon Bill, don’t make me go in there. She spots the perfect one. Images of “Dracula”, “Frankenstein’s Monster” and “The Wolfman” stare back at her.

OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Classic Horror! That’s not so bad, right? Well, you’re talking to yourself so I’m going to tell you that, yes, its not so bad. Okay. Our Girl focuses the gold box around the “Classic Horror” category. esmareldaknows.com

She takes a deep breath. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Let’s go. A BRIGHT LIGHT opens up from the category and the sound of a PROJECTOR starts WHIRRING. O.G. shields herself from the light as she is sucked in to the “Classic Horror” category. CUT TO:

INT. A DARK BEDROOM The color is faded. The film is grainy. 65.

O.G. is in a bedroom very similar to “Poltergeist” or “The Amityville Horror”. She spots herself in a full length mirror: her style is very late 70’s. Feathered hair, bell bottoms, bright blouse. OUR GIRL Oh god. I’ve gone disco. There is only a flickering glow from the snow on a nearby television as she looks around the dark bedroom. Something rises in her stomach like she is going to throw up again, but she’s able to work it back down into a loud burp. She hears a LOW GROWLING and turns, scared, in its direction. RRAWR! A HOUSE CAT leaps out, startling her. It lands on the floor and scampers off. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) This isn’t a classic. Or is it? How long does something have to be around before you can call it a classic? Have I seen the real classics? I don’t think so.(beat) Why do you keep talking to yourself? She searches around the room, lifting cushions and checking behind doors. esmareldaknows.comOUR GIRL (CONT’D) (half whispering) Bill! Damnit, Bill, where are you. She desperately searches the wall for a way to turn on the lights. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) And why are there no light switches in here? A CREEPY LITTLE BOY wheels a tricycle into the room. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Oh hey! Hey there... champ. Is Bill around here by any chance? The Little Boy slowly raises his arm and points toward the flickering television. 66.

OUR GIRL (CONT’D) The TV? He’s in the TV? What does that mean? CRASH! The windows break as a GIANT TREE BRANCH comes hurtling into the room towards her. It tries to grab her and pull her outside! OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh She screams like an idiot and picks up the little boy, running out of the room.

INT. THE DARK HOUSE Holding the little boy, O.G. runs screaming through the house. She takes a right turn -- CRASH! A DETERIORATING CORPSE falls out of a nearby closet. OUR GIRL Oh shit! She turns left -- WHOOOOOOOSH! A window opens and STACKS OF PAPERS are blown, swirling around her. esmareldaknows.com She turns to the little boy. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) It’s okay. It’s okay, buddy. I’m gonna get you out of here. She sees his face: it is now painted like a SCARY CLOWN with GLOWING YELLOW EYES. Also, he now has a butcher knife! His voice sounds like a 1930’s gangster. CREEPY BOY Whattya say, sister? Want to take a stab at getting out of here? He cackles and brings the knife down at O.G. That little bastard slices her shoulder! 67.

OUR GIRL Ow! You have got to be kidding me. She TOSSES Creepy Boy down the stairs. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Ew. I think he grabbed my boob. O.G. searches the top floor, opening each bedroom door. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) This was a bad idea. This was a bad, bad idea. BEHIND DOOR #1: A DERANGED LUMBERJACK relentlessly chops wood. He turns to her with a crazed look in his eye. DERANGED LUMBERJACK I didn’t do it. I’m innocent. I didn’t do it, I tell you! The Deranged Lumberjack charges towards her with an AXE. OUR GIRL I believe you. I totally believe you! SLAM! She closes the door in his face as the axe SPLINTERS through the wood, near missing her head. BEHIND DOOR #2: A gang of blue hairedesmareldaknows.com women and old men are having a New Years Eve party. BLUE HAIRED OLD LADY You’re just in time, dear. The ball is about to drop! O.G. is led in to the room of old people. OLD PEOPLE 3... 2... 1... Happy New Year! OUR GIRL Well this isn’t so bad. OLD MAN Cheers to another year basking in the shadow of our lord, the Dark Prince, Adrian. Hail be to Satan! 68.

OLD PEOPLE Hail Satan! Hail Satan! Their eyes turn red as they move in towards her. OUR GIRL Should’ve seen that coming. She exits back out in to the hallway. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Bill? I swear, Bill, you better be in here. VRRRRR The hairs on the back of her neck stand up as she hears a terrifying sound from down the hallway. VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMMM She turns in its direction... A CHAINSAW WIELDING HOCKEY MASK WEARING psycho stands, head cocked, staring into O.G. Revving his chainsaw. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) No no no no no no. Time to go! She scrambles to put the Glasses back on her face. The infinite menu of categories appears before her in holographic form. She can see Chainsaw Man from down the hallway, slowly approaching her. esmareldaknows.com Her eyes scan the categories, trying to figure out where to go next. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Where do I go? Where do I go? CLANK! A butcher knife is wedged into the floor next to her foot as the CREEPY BOY crawls his way back up the stairs. CREEPY BOY Time to die. He raises his knife and moves towards her as Chainsaw Man STARTS RUNNING. She screams and makes a selection, not knowing what it is. 69.

OUR GIRL Let’s go! A BRIGHT LIGHT FLASHES and she disappears just as Chainsaw Man runs through the empty space where her body was.

EXT. POST-APOCALYPTIC WASTELAND A LIGHT FLASHES and O.G. appears in the middle of what looks like World War III. She is cloaked in rusted metal armor and her head is shaved into an indigo colored mohawk. She catches a glimpse of herself in a busted store window. OUR GIRL Oh god. Where am I now? FWWWWWWWWWWWW-----CRASH! A missile soars across the sky and crashes a hundred yards away from O.G., sending debris scattered all around her. From the crash site, several GIANT ELECTRIFIED SNAKES slither towards her. They open their jaws wide, ready to eat her whole. She’s frozen in terror. Surrounded. No way out. Certain death is but a moment away. Their electric charges twitch like rattlesnake tails as they rear back and PLUNGE TO STRIKE. This is it. THIS IS esmareldaknows.comTHE END. 70.

PART FOUR go home.

esmareldaknows.com 71.

EXT. POST APOCALYPTIC WASTELAND - CONTINUOUS O.G. is huddled in the fetal position on the floor, face buried in her hands, shaking from the impending doom. Around her, the Electric Snakes pass right through her body. She realizes: its a hologram. STRONG FEMALE VOICE (O.S.) Go home. O.G. slowly sits up and looks toward the voice. A powerful young woman with fiery red hair crouches down next to her. She pulls a plug and The Electric Snakes stop their assault. STRONG FEMALE VOICE (CONT’D) We don’t need your kind here. O.G. recognizes her face. OUR GIRL Ellie? Off to the side, a gang of misfits chuckle. O.G. studies the woman’s face in disbelief. There’s no back brace or head gear, but there is no doubt about it. That’s Ellie. ELLIE Put her back, boys. She’s not ready yet. The gang of misfits snarl and chew on their toothpicks. They move towards O.G., pickingesmareldaknows.com her up off the ground. OUR GIRL Wait. Where are you taking me? ELLIE Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you. Ellie pulls a lever as a MASSIVE BLACK HOLE opens up in the middle of the earth. ELLIE (CONT’D) I just want you to have some fun. She cackles as the gang of misfits CHUCK O.G. down the black hole.

INT. BLACK HOLE O.G. is falling. And screaming. And falling. And screaming. 72.

...and falling...... and screaming...

...and continuously, continuously, falling... There doesn’t seem to be an end to this hole. She stops screaming. Looks around. She leans to the left...... and is flipped upside down. Odd. She leans to the right...... and is flipped right side up. Curious. She stretches and straightens her legs; can feel her speed slowing down a bit. She takes a deep breath and exhales. Again, she slows down a bit more. This actually isn’t that bad. Then she thinks. She really thinks. Our Girl slowly opens her palms, closes her eyes, and pushes her arms down to her sides, trying her best to use her force to slow down the descent. It’s working. The black hole around her stops racing past. Her body slows to a halt. She looks around, astonished. She did it! esmareldaknows.com O.G. relaxes her palms and leaps into the air for a celebratory fist pump. She did it! But then: Uh oh.

She’s falling. Again. Well this is great. At least this time she knows what to expect. She thinks for a short second and then pats herself down. Is that it? No. Where is it? Ooh!

In a pocket she finds the Glasses. She slips them back on as the Holographic Menu appears once more. 73.

OUR GIRL Much better. Her eyes search the genre categories. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Fun... fun... when was the last time I really had fun? She spots a category called “College Sex Romps”. Posters of “American Pie”, “Porky’s”, and “Animal House” call back to her. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) That’s not a bad place to start. She focuses the Gold Box around her selection. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Let’s go. The Bright Light opens up again as she is sucked in to the new world.

INT. LOCKER ROOM SHOWERS O.G. is taking a shower in a locker room with two other women. Steam fills the air obstructing any unmentionable parts. She lets out a small burp and rolls her eyes. OUR GIRL Of course esmareldaknows.comI show up during this scene. She takes a look at the other women in the shower. Doesn’t take long to realize: it’s Dot and Hannah. They gossip over O.G. HANNAH So then I told her, “Heather. You cannot be my friend anymore. I totally saw you talking with Gene Clark and that guy is, like, a spaz and a half.” DOT Oh my god, I can’t believe you said that. You’re so bad. 74.

HANNAH Puh-chah. What can you expect? She totally had it coming, I mean, have you seen her parents’ house? Talk about yuck. OUR GIRL Oh you cunning stunts. HANNAH Excuse me? SFX: BOYS SNICKERING O.G. turns toward the sound. She looks down at the tile wall in front of her to find three peepholes drilled out. AN EYEBALL moves behind the hole at her own station. OUR GIRL What the hell? She rears her arm back and SMASHES it through the tile wall. It reveals A group of teenage boys. They all panic and scatter. Hannah and Dot run screaming out of the showers. Amongst the chaos, O.G. is able to grab the ring leader in the middle. She pins him down on the ground and climbs on top of him. Oh good God... It’s Bill again. esmareldaknows.com BILL Don’t hurt me! Don’t hurt me! OUR GIRL There you are, you deluded, hog- tailed hobbit. You didn’t answer my last question! She shakes him as she interrogates. BILL What? OUR GIRL You just up and disappear and don’t tell me how the hell to get out of here. Is that part of your sick little game? 75.

BILL What? OUR GIRL Say what again! BILL Th... that’s what you’re really mad about right now? OUR GIRL You tricked me! You tricked me into following you in to your weird little world and then you just up and leave me to fend for myself?! Tell me what exactly should I be mad about right now? BILL I... you’re still naked. She looks down. Yup. She sure is. OUR GIRL Oh. She climbs off of him and covers up with a towel. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Well, that tiny detail doesn’t mean that I don’t mean any of the things I just said. BILL Not that tiny.esmareldaknows.com She blushes. Hey wait... OUR GIRL Please. Will you just please tell me how to get out of here. BILL Why do you want to get out of here? It’s kind of awesome in here. He stands up. BILL (CONT’D) Watch. He snaps his fingers. 76.

EXT. DRIVE-IN MOVIE THEATER Bill and O.G. sit in an classic 1950’s Cadillac. BILL Ta-da! O.G. opens her door to vomit again. Bill pats her back. She collects herself and sits back up. OUR GIRL I really hate that feeling. BILL Its just the change of scenery. You get used to it after a while. The GREASEBALL in the car next to them leans over. GREASEBALL Hey, pipe down over there you lunkheads! ANGLE ON: The movie screen. A trailer for the 1959 B-Movie “Plan 9 from Outer Space” plays. OUR GIRL Ooh, I love this movie. BILL Really? Me too. OUR GIRL You know whatesmareldaknows.com I’ve always wondered? BILL What’s that? OUR GIRL Well, studios have these huge libraries of B-Movies just sort of sitting around at their disposal... The Greaseball shushs them again. GREASEBALL I said keep it down, freakazoids! Our Girl lowers her voice. 77.

OUR GIRL So why don’t they play old trailers like this ahead of their tentpoles and then make them available to download for like ninety-nine cents? Bill thinks. That’s not a bad idea. BILL I don’t know. Seems like a low cost but effective revenue stream in today’s marketplace. OUR GIRL (shrugs) Just a thought I had. GREASEBALL Hey! The Greaseball is right up against Bill’s door now. GREASEBALL (CONT’D) You fudge nuggets better keep your mouths shut. Regina here needs to be home by eleven and I can’t get anything done in this pussy wagon with you dweebs yammering away. He points to Regina who pops her bubble gum and gives a saucy wave hello. BILL Sorry, man.esmareldaknows.com Sorry. Bill rolls up his window as the Greaseball huffs like a fire breathing dragon and retreats back to his car. O.G. takes a deep breath and finally just relaxes. OUR GIRL This is nice, actually. She and Bill settle in to the Cadillac, watching the movie. She stretches her arms and notices the butterfly stamp from the party still on her hand. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Did you know that Monarch butterflies are born instinctively knowing where to go and how to get there? 78.

BILL Really? Outside the car, Regina gives a loud squeal and giggle as The Greaseball paws at her. Bill and O.G. try their best to ignore it. OUR GIRL Yeah. Its kind of a mystery as to how it really works. Most butterflies only live four to eight weeks, but there are some who are slower to develop and mate, and those live to be eight or nine months. BILL Nature is so freaking cool. OUR GIRL Yeah. I don’t know what made me think of that just now. BAM! Regina’s body is slammed against the door as the make out session moves closer in on the Cadillac. Bill turns to O.G. BILL Want to get out of here? OUR GIRL God, yes. esmareldaknows.com She slips on the Glasses. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Ooh, I know where I want to go. O.G. takes Bill’s hand and finds her next selection. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Let’s go.

INT. ART-DECO MANSION O.G. is dressed as a flapper and Bill looks dapper in a top coat and tails. An old school 1920s Hollywood party is in full swing. 79.

BILL Really? Here? OUR GIRL Come on, its a party. O.G. shimmies and shakes her way to the dance floor, the loud jazz moving her feet for her. Bill chases after her. BILL Its a party for you. I’m more used to parties where a bunch of sweaty guys named Dave drink Red Bull and fight over who gets to be Dungeon Master. I’ve kind of spent my whole life avoiding places like this. OUR GIRL Don’t be such a poop. All around them, people are having a hoot and holler of a time. Swing dancers, lindy hoppers, its a rip roaring party. The beat entrances O.G. She can’t stand still, she has to join the others. She takes his hand. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Let’s dance. He withdraws. BILL I can’t. Iesmareldaknows.com just... I can’t. She leans in to him, her big eyes beckon him to the dance floor. OUR GIRL How do you know you can’t if you’ve never even tried it? Bill stands there, frozen. Awkward. He doesn’t move toward her. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Your loss. She boogies her way to the dance floor as the music suddenly cuts out. The lights dim and a spotlight opens, pointed at a golden stage. 80.

A crooner emerges from behind a red curtain. It’s Our Man. He begins to sing... MUSIC: “DAMES” by Harry Warren and Al Dubin A HUGE BUSBY BERKLEY MUSICAL NUMBER BREAKS OUT as Our Man continues to sing. Flapper girls, acrobats, prima ballerinas, glitz, glamor, excitement rains down with every move they make. Our Man continues singing, slowly moving in on O.G. They lock eyes. O.G. is more and more entranced by his sultry voice. Bill sees this. He gives a huff and folds his arms, defeated. Our Man and Our Girl are now dancing together, they move in rhythm, in ways she didn’t even know she could move. Bill looks up from the ground. O.G. is having the time of her life. Bill seethes and heads toward the exit. ON THE DANCE FLOOR Our Man leaves O.G. and turns to the other girls, singing, dancing with them in the exact same way. O.G. tries to get close to him again, but he ignores her, exploring the other esmareldaknows.combeauties around him. She stops dancing. She feels foolish now. AT THE EXIT Bill turns back one last time to see a distraught O.G. She tries to keep up with the other girls on the dance floor, but she can’t. O.G. is getting tired. She feels like an idiot. Probably looks like one too. Who am I kidding? She gives up. She pushes her way through the crowd trying to get out, but more and more people block her way. She’s trapped. She can’t get away from the dancing. It’s too much. She doesn’t know what to do. And then: 81.

A hand takes hers.

She looks up. It’s Bill. He pulls her in to him, holding her body close to his. BILL Wanna dance? He looks strong, handsome, and oh so charming in his suit. Definitely not the same Funny Looking Mail Guy she remembers from the past. OUR GIRL You bet your ass I do. Bill dances with His Girl. But they’re nerds. So they dance like nerds. Twitchy, off- beat, off rhythm. They move with each other more than they move with the music. For this dance, they are locked in their own little world.

But after a while...

It becomes adorably esmareldaknows.comannoying to the rest of the world around them. Others take notice; fellow dancers shy away from Bill and O.G.’s untimely body movements. Where are these people from?

O.G. is slowly sucked out of their dancing, noticing the disturbed look on people’s faces. The musicians even begin to see the weird couple on the dance floor, they’re hypnotized, transfixed by this space-age dance-off. The music cuts out. O.G. stops dancing immediately, embarrassed. But Bill, in complete silence, keeps twisting and shaking on. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Bill. He does the moonwalk and spins in to a full on Michael Jackson pose. 82.

OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Bill! Bill opens his eyes. Oh. Right. She slips on her Glasses. The Holographic Menu appears. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Time to blow this popsicle stand. She finds her selection: Romantic Comedies. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) Let’s go. O.G. takes Bill by the hand as the White Light sucks them in to the next world.

EXT. A WEDDING CHAPEL - DAY VOICES IN CROWD Woooo! Yeah! Kiss her! I know what someone is doing tonight! O.G. and Bill are tossing rice as a newlywed couple runs past them in to an awaiting honeymoon limo. Obnoxious family members hoot and holler encouraging/creepy things at the couple. Bill takes a look at the surroundings. Turns to O.G. BILL You’re seriouslyesmareldaknows.com trying to kill me, aren’t you? OUR GIRL You don’t like these movies? BILL Do I look like the kind of guy who likes these movies? She studies his face: not by a long shot. BILL (CONT’D) This is so hokey and cheesy. The limo honks its horn as everyone rushes out in to the street to wave goodbye. 83.

BILL (CONT’D) This is either the end of a really lame movie or the beginning of a really scary one. OUR GIRL Or maybe its the beginning of their story. O.G. points to a shady spot behind the chapel where a woman in the ugliest bridesmaid dress ever furiously makes out with a gardener. BILL That looks like the end of a very sad movie. OUR GIRL It’s like you’re not even watching. BILL All I’m saying is that any movie that ends with two people driving off in to the sunset is just spoon- feeding girls the same old hackneyed Disney Princess bullshit. OUR GIRL Yeah, well, sometimes its nice to believe in the bullshit. O.G. stares doe-eyed at the french kissing couple. BILL This is theesmareldaknows.com worst. Come on, I know what we should do. Bill opens the doors to the chapel and leads her inside.

INT. WEDDING CHAPEL - DAY It’s empty. Bill struts up to the front and takes a seat behind the organ. OUR GIRL You play? Bill gives her a mischievous smirk. BILL Only when I’m in the mood. 84.

O.G. settles in to the front pew to watch. Bill begins to play a tune. PIANO MUSIC: “Holly Holy” by Neil Diamond. He starts off very slow and somber. O.G. is taken aback by the sweet melody he produces. She didn’t know he had that in him. OUR GIRL Is that Neil Diamond? BILL You bet your sweet ass it is. The song really takes off now. Bill puts his soul in to it. After a while, he removes his hands from the keys, but the music keeps playing. He pushes a panel on the front of the piano and a small wall emerges with a bright red button that says “SHUFFLE”. OUR GIRL How are you doing that? Bill gives her a shrug and a smile as he presses the button. BILL Not all of us need a remote control. Bill activates the “SHUFFLE” button. He walks toward O.G. and offers a hand to her. esmareldaknows.comBILL (CONT’D) Let’s go, I think I feel a montage coming on. She smiles. OUR GIRL You’re such a weirdo. O.G. puts her hand in his as the White Light sucks them in to: A MONTAGE! MUSIC: An upbeat Mumford & Sons-type cover of ”HOLLY HOLY”. 85.

INT. SPACE SHIP Bill and O.G. are dressed like space soldiers and take turns firing lasers at one another.

EXT. 1930’S PRISON YARD Bill and O.G. trudge along with a chain gang.

EXT. THE SKY An animated Bill and O.G. soar on a magic carpet ride.

INT. FRENCH CAFE O.G., looking like Anna Karina, sips espresso as a brooding Bill looks on at her from outside the cafe’s window.

INT. DR. FRANKENSTEIN’S LAB O.G. flips a switch as an electrified machine brings Bill to life.

INT. CHEESY PORNO SET A hunky, shirtless pizza delivery boy runs his fingers through O.G.’s hair as she is entranced by the feeling. Bill stands awkwardlyesmareldaknows.com next to her. BILL You watch these movies, too? She opens her eyes. Oh shit. She’s been caught.

EXT. MEADOW Bill and O.G. are dressed as hippies and run through a lush meadow.

INT. APARTMENT BUILDING Bill and O.G. are dressed as hitmen, they kick a door down and strut inside like bad motherfuckers. 86.

INT. CONCERT VENUE Bill and O.G. are dressed like punk rockers. They dive off of a stage and crowd surf. BILL What do you want to do now? OUR GIRL I have an idea. She slips on her Glasses. END MONTAGE

EXT. CITY SKYLINE O.G. and Bill are dressed as Marvel Superheroes ready to do battle against an encroaching alien race. BILL I don’t know how I feel about this. OUR GIRL Trust me. THE MOTHERSHIP looms in the distance and blasts a GIANT LASER BEAM, destroying the city. BILL I think we should go. OUR GIRL You worry esmareldaknows.comtoo much. I need to try this. Waves and waves of fire and debris hurtle towards the two of them faster and faster. BILL Are you insane? OUR GIRL It’s going to be okay. An ENTIRE SKYSCRAPER rockets straight toward them. BILL Holy sh-- He grabs her hand. 87.

BILL (CONT’D) Let’s go, now! She pulls him in to her body and holds him close. OUR GIRL Stop being such a baby! Bill shuts his eyes as the skyscraper flies RIGHT AT HIM. A moment passes. He peeks an eye open. They’re okay. The skyscraper and debris pass right through them. Another hologram.

Bill runs a hand along the digital projection. The image separates as though he is peering through a curtain. Line after line of the same binary code floats past. 01001001 00100000 01110011 01100101 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00101110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00101110 00100000 01010100 01100001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01100011 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 01110011 01100101 01101100 01100110 00101110 OUR GIRL (CONT’D) It isn’t real. It can’t hurt you if it isn’t real.esmareldaknows.com Bill looks down at her. They are still holding each other. A tender moment. He gets an impulse and leans in toward her. She instinctively lets him go and backs away. She yawns. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) I’m getting a little tired. Do you want to take a walk? BILL Walks are things I do sometimes. 88.

EXT. MAIN STREET - EVENING Bill and O.G. stroll along Main Street. They stay on the same path, but their clothes and the scenery changes every few seconds.

EXT. 1970’S CRIME DRAMA MAIN STREET OUR GIRL I don’t even know how long we’ve been in here. BILL By my calculations, I’d say just under an hour. OUR GIRL Wow. That was fast. BILL I know. It’s kind of a trip, isn’t it? OUR GIRL I don’t even know what to call it.

EXT. 1990’S ROMANTIC COMEDY MAIN STREET OUR GIRL You still never told me how to get out of here. esmareldaknows.comBILL You still never told me why you’d want to leave. OUR GIRL Get serious. I have a life. I have friends. I have a job. BILL You know, I’ve worked in your building for a good six months now and I still have no idea what it is you do. OUR GIRL Its kind of long and complicated, but I... I mean, Frank, my boss, he’s an enterprise consultant. 89.

EXT. 1940’S FILM NOIR MAIN STREET BILL I want to believe that has something to do with Star Trek, but I’m betting it has nothing to do with Star Trek. OUR GIRL (laughs) Negative Mr. Sulu. No its like if some rich CEO’s wife wants to start selling her homemade handbags, we come up with the business plan, introduce them to the right people. You know, all that jazz. BILL That sounds... god awful. How’d you get in to that?

EXT. SMALL TOWN MAIN STREET OUR GIRL Went to Berkeley, got a degree in marketing, took the first job I could find and five years later, am still booking airline tickets and rescheduling lunches. BILL Why do you stay there? esmareldaknows.comOUR GIRL I like the job. I guess. Kind of. I don’t know. I mean, it sounds corny, but these are people who have dreams and I like helping people see their dreams. BILL Sounds like you’re miserable.

EXT. FUTURISTIC MAIN STREET OUR GIRL Miserable? She stops walking. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) I am not miserable. 90.

BILL You spend all of your time and energy helping people who don’t need your help, and you’re barely making ends meet in the process. Sounds pretty miserable to me. OUR GIRL You are judging me? BILL Not at all. Besides, I’m not the judge you’re looking for. He does a jedi mind-trick wave at her. Unbeknownst to O.G., Judge Reinhold walks by in the background and gives a hearty wave. OUR GIRL Who the hell do you think you are? You work in the mail room, are you anybody? BILL (unfazed/sarcastic) Ouch. You really tore my heart out on that one. OUR GIRL I have given up more for my career than you could ever imagine. I don’t know how you get off thinking you have the right to criticize any of my bad esmareldaknows.comchoices.

EXT. CIVIL WAR-ERA MAIN STREET BILL Bad choices? Listen, brat, a choice is a choice. There’s no such thing as good or bad choices. Only good or bad results. If you don’t pick something, you’ll never know anything. At least you made a decision. Half the time most of us can’t even do that. He hears himself and stops dead in his tracks. Bill turns towards her, taking her arm to pull her in to him. BILL (CONT’D) Kiss me. 91.

OUR GIRL No!

She struggles and wrestles herself away from his grip. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) If you think I’m going to lock lips with some broke, manipulative weirdo loser freak who makes me feel like shit, then you’re more delusional than I thought. He lets go of her arm and sighs. BILL See? That. That is your problem right there. What a waste. He takes a few steps away from her and removes a pair of blue 3D Glasses from his pocket. BILL (CONT’D) Well, time to hit the old dusty trail. Take care of yourself. OUR GIRL What? You can’t go. How am I supposed to get out of here? What am I supposed to do? BILL Frankly, my dear... Bill slips on his Glasses.esmareldaknows.com BILL (CONT’D) Well, you know how the rest of it goes. He presses a button on the side of the Glasses and *poof*! he’s gone. OUR GIRL Bill? No! She runs to the spot he vanished from. No sign of him anywhere. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) My glasses. Where are those stupid glasses? 92.

She searches her giant dress for her Glasses. She’s strapped in to a tight corset, digs way down deep in to her boobs and pulls the Glasses out. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) A ha! She whips them out with such great force that the Glasses go flying twenty feet in front of her. The Glasses land on the dusty ground and-- CRUNCH! --are immediately run over with a CARRIAGE. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) NO! She rushes to the spot and crumples on the ground. The Glasses are completely destroyed. She tries to put them on her face, but they turn to dust, blowing away with the wind. She takes a look at her surroundings. She’s somewhere in the 1860’s. No phones. No cars. No maps. No convenience in sight. Our Girl buries her face in her hands. Utter defeat. A tear falls from her cheek. And another. And another. She can’t control it. Eventually she stops trying to wipe them away and lets the tearsesmareldaknows.com flow freely. She cries. And cries. And cries some more. She screams out in pain and frustration and pounds at the dirt. OUR GIRL (CONT’D) I. Hate. Everything! The Force from her pounding sends waves of dirt and dust rippling through the air for several yards. NOT TOO FAR AWAY A row of slaves pick cotton at a nearby plantation. 93.

They are hit with the wave of dirt and turn in its direction, spotting a distressed O.G. stewing in her own misery. FEMALE SLAVE Hey little girl! Why are you crying? MALE SLAVE #1 Yeah, cheer up. It can’t be that bad! MALE SLAVE #2 Give us a smile, sweetie. The world isn’t gonna end tomorrow. MALE SLAVE #1 Damn straight. In fact, it could be a hell of a lot worse. O.G. picks her head up. She wipes her face and slowly rises to her feet. They keep working as she approaches them at the fence. OUR GIRL Thank you. I needed to hear that. MALE SLAVE #2 Not to worry, little darling. We all need to know when to look up every now and then. OUR GIRL Can you tellesmareldaknows.com me how to get home? MALE SLAVE #2 Home? Fellas, you know how we can get her back home? MALE SLAVE #1 Man, I barely even know where I am right now. I can’t tell nobody how to get themselves back home. She deflates. OUR GIRL That’s fine. I just thought... was hoping you might know. I appreciate the help, anyway. She turns to leave. 94.

FEMALE SLAVE Say, we might not be able to get you back home, but we might be able to get you back where you started. OUR GIRL How? FEMALE SLAVE You’re a nosy little white girl, aren’t you? How about you quit asking questions, close your eyes and just listen. She turns to the boys. FEMALE SLAVE (CONT’D) These kids today can’t seem to figure anything out for themselves. You ready, boys? The boys give her a nod as she snaps her fingers and sings a sweet jaunty tune. FEMALE SLAVE (CONT’D) Pack up your troubles in your old kick bag and smile. Smile. Smile.

ALL SLAVES Pack up your troubles in your old kick bag and smile. Smile. Smile. What’s the use of worrying? It never was worthwhile...

Their singing slowlyesmareldaknows.com fades out as O.G. shuts her eyes. The White Light taking her away...

INT. TRAIN STATION - MORNING Tap-tap tap-tap tat-a-tat tap-tap O.G. opens her eyes and steps off of a train. She is part of the spectator crowd from the final scene of “Broadway Melody”. In front of her, Our Man is charging through his routine, eyes dead locked on The Rival. O.G. catches another glimpse of his gleaming dreamy eyes. Filled with determination and confidence. She moves slowly toward him, trying to get a better look. 95.

SFX: TRAIN APPROACHES The train’s headlights shine in from the tunnel, approaching the station. BACK AT THE DUELING PLATFORMS Rival lunges. Our Man matches. Our Girl is hypnotized by their amazing athletic ability. The men do battle. O.G. looks around, absolutely everyone is focused on the two hoofers and their amazing strength. Rival lunges. Man matches. Back. Forth. Stronger. Harder. Faster. More. More. MORE. MORE. THEN: Our Man stumbles, tripping over his own footwork. He crumples. Exhausted. Defeated. It’s over. FROM THE CROWD O.G. stares in disbelief. CROWD Oooh! Ahh! The Rival performs his seemingly impossible move. All eyes are on him. Except for O.G. She watches Our Man esmareldaknows.comsink to the ground. Every self defeat. Every misstep. Every possible personal and professional failure and disappointment line the creases on his face. SFX: TRAIN CHUGGING IN SLOW MOTION: Our Man looks up at the train approaching, moments from arriving at the platform. O.G. is entranced by his face. Drawn in to his tractor beam, she makes her way through the crowd. He takes his running start, about to flip in front of the train. O.G. watches as his toes spring off of platform 96.

He leaps!

Then: A FUCKING CELL PHONE NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYANesmareldaknows.com NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN SPLAT! OUR MAN IS HIT BY THE ONCOMING TRAIN. He flies across the station as everyone looks on in horror. 97.

PART FIVE cut!

esmareldaknows.com 98.

DIRECTOR (O.S.) Cut! Cut! Everyone cut! What the hell was that?

INT. MOVIE STUDIO SET The crowd relaxes, taking out cigarettes and conversing with one another. DIRECTOR Bert! Are you alright Bert? You were supposed to flip over the platform and land in front of The Rival on the other side. Bert? Bert (Our Man’s stunt double) lays like a rag doll on the floor. DIRECTOR (CONT’D) Oh gee, that’s swell. Just swell. Take him away, he’ll be alright fellas. You’ll be alright, Bert. A few crew workers emerge, dragging Bert’s unconscious body off of the set. DIRECTOR (CONT’D) That’s it. That’s a wrap for today. Everybody go home. A white-haired SUIT emerges from behind the scenes. SUIT Everybody esmareldaknows.comgo home? We’ve got a schedule to keep here, Dexter. DIRECTOR Think about it, R.F., a person was hit by a train today. SUIT I never thought about it that way. Something must be wrong here. The SUIT makes an announcement to the cast and crew. SUIT (CONT’D) Everyone go home and be with your families for the rest of the day. Don’t worry, we’ll pick this back up in the morning. The crowd scatters. Our Girl looks around, disoriented. 99.

The Director points at O.G. DIRECTOR You! O.G. stops dead in her tracks. OUR GIRL Me? DIRECTOR You! Yeah, you. What’s your name, girly? OUR GIRL My name? Its Maddie. DIRECTOR Maddie? What kind of a name is that? Maddie sounds like a boy’s name, I tell ya. What’s a sweet young thing like you walking around with a boy’s name for? MADDIE It’s short... for Mathilda. DIRECTOR Mathilda! Now that’s a name with some force behind it. Grab a broom and sweep this mess up, would ya darling? The Director exits givingesmareldaknows.com her a pinch on the butt as he goes. Maddie stands frozen, unsure what to do next. A BUSTY SECRETARY bumps in to her. BUSTY SECRETARY Whoops. Sorry, honey. Maddie watches the beautiful woman saunter away. MADDIE Actually... could you help me? BUSTY SECRETARY Sure thing sugar, what do you need? The Suit reappears, approaching the Busty Secretary. 100.

SUIT Sarah, cancel my tee time for tomorrow. There’s too much that needs to be done here. SARAH Couldn’t agree more, Mister Simpson. I’ll send Bert some flowers and make sure everyone attends an important safety meeting in the morning. Anything else? SUIT And for the last time, tell the commissary no cheese on my sandwiches. I haven’t been able to stand up straight in a month. SARAH You got it, R.F. SUIT That’s all, sweetheart. Keep up the good work. The Suit gives Sarah a slap on the ass as he walks away. She just giggles and turns back to Maddie. SARAH What were you saying, honey? MADDIE I, um, I was just... How do I get out of here?esmareldaknows.com SARAH Oh, sweetie. That’s so cute. Sarah points over Maddie’s shoulder. SARAH (CONT’D) The exit is right over there. Maddie turns around to see a GIGANTIC EXIT SIGN. MADDIE Oh. Thank you... She spins back around, but Sarah is gone. Maddie does a double take. Everyone is gone. 101.

Its just her and the exit. She slowly approaches the door, each step echoing through the deserted studio. Maddie takes a deep breath and reaches for the handle. She opens the door to find

INT. A LONG HALLWAY Cold. Sterile. Something you’d see on the Death Star. In the distance, a dilapidated neon sign blinks “EXIT -->”. She follows the sign and turns a corner. ANOTHER HALLWAY With another exit sign. She picks up the pace, shuffling towards it. She turns another corner. ANOTHER, LONGER HALLWAY The faintest spec of another neon sign looms in the distance. BILL (O.S.) NOOOOOOOOO!! She hears him. esmareldaknows.comMADDIE Bill? Now she runs towards the exit sign. Turns the corner. ANOTHER HALLWAY. ANOTHER FAR OFF EXIT.

ELLIE (O.S.) Help me! Someone help me, please! MADDIE Ellie! She sprints toward their cries. Faster. Harder. Stronger. More. More. More. More. She’s moving at superhuman speed. The walls and floor around her begin to catch fire. She hears another anguished scream. 102.

MADDIE (CONT’D) Hold on! She turns the final corner to see ABSOLUTE HORROR Bill, Ellie, Frank, Hannah, Dot, everyone she knows and loves are surrounded by every horrifying movie cliche imaginable. Dinosaurs, sharks, zombies, evil geniuses, vampires, terrorists, ninjas, wizards, gargoyles, werewolves, EVERYTHING IS TEARING THEM ALL APART. She runs at the scene. Then: BOING! She’s sent flying back from the invisible force field once more. MADDIE (CONT’D) No! She runs at the force field. Pushes. Punches. Kicks. Claws. Screams. She has to save them. It’s no use. It isn’t working! The force field holds her back as she watches the people she loves devoured by theseesmareldaknows.com creatures. Maddie hangs her head in shame, watching the horror unfold. It gets worse and more gruesome. She can’t look away. MADDIE (CONT’D) Noooo! I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I can fix it. I’ll fix it! She concentrates hard. Her finger nails quickly grow in to long, metal claws. She scratches out a hole in the force field revealing a VHS player. MADDIE (CONT’D) Screw it. She hits REWIND on the machine. The walls begin to unbearably rattle and shake. Then: 103.

A WHITE LIGHT FLASHES. Brighter and brighter, engulfing her in it. It washes the horror, the pain, the devastation away. Everything turns to white and fades out in to the light. MADDIE (CONT’D) Stop! Come back!

INT. BLANK WHITE ROOM She is alone. Not a single living soul surrounds her. It is empty. It is quiet. She crumples to the floor in defeat.

She looks up nervously and chews on her necklace. Chomp Chomp Chomp. Ow! Wait a minute.

It is the Best Friends Forever necklace Ellie had given her. She studies the chompesmareldaknows.com marks etched in to the plastic broken heart. MADDIE Its real. Maddie stands up and looks around at the empty void. She takes a step. The ground is soft. She kneels down, digging a small hole in the white dirt. She drops the necklace inside of the hole and buries it back up. She pauses a moment. And holds her breath. 104.

The ground shakes again. Except this time a tiny green sprig sprouts up. And another. Then some flowers. Lush colors and greenery pop up, filling the blank space. The once empty void has now turned in to

EXT. SMALL TOWN FARMER’S MARKET Happy people sell food grown by themselves and children play in the streets. Men walk past reading actual newspapers. A mechanical horse carries a cart full of people behind it. It’s the future and yet somehow looks like the past. Maddie spots a sign that reads “WELCOME TO SECTION X.” A LITTLE GIRL holding a red balloon skips past, looking healthy and happy. Maddie watches her go. She gives a wave to the little girl. Then she sees Ellie.

Looking fierce, strong and beautiful as she did in the post- apocalyptic world. The two women approach each other. MADDIE Ellie, whatesmareldaknows.com just happened? Where am I? ELLIE You tell me. You brought us all here. An OLD FARMER walks by pushing a wheelbarrow full of carrots. He hands one to Maddie, gives a wink, and presses on. MADDIE Thank you. I don’t even know what for, but thank you. ELLIE You’re just seeing things a little more clearly, that’s all. And no worries, I do this all the time. 105.

Ellie smiles back at her. She reaches around her neck and unclasps the other half of the plastic necklace. She drops it in to Maddie’s open palm. ELLIE (CONT’D) I think you know someone who could use this half now. Ellie turns to walk away. Maddie calls out to her. MADDIE Someone else? Ellie pauses. Speaks over her shoulder. ELLIE Weirdos need love, too. Maddie closes her hand around the necklace and nods. ELLIE (CONT’D) Party on, Maddie. MADDIE Party on, Ellie. FADE TO BLACK. MADDIE (CONT’D) Oh Jesus. Come on! What the hell is happening now? INT. BLACKNESS esmareldaknows.com Maddie now stands in the middle of a completely black space. Credits start scrolling from beneath her. MADDIE (CONT’D) Credits? Really? You’re actually going to make me stay here through all of the credits. Line after line of movie credits keep rolling up. She stands off to the side, the white letters lighting up her face as they scroll by. MADDIE (CONT’D) Oh my god, this is so boring. Can’t we get a blooper reel in here or something? 106.

BING! A Blooper Reel appears off to one side. MADDIE (CONT’D) Oh thank God.

INT. FRANK’S OFFICE (BLOOPER REEL) FRANK (ON BLOOPER REEL) That’s it. Anything for me? MADDIE (ON BLOOPER REEL) Actually. You know, Frank, I’ve been thinking that I’ve been doing a lot more of the hands-on work with the clients lately. Maybe, possibly, I could start consulting some of them on my own? INTERCUT WITH MADDIE WATCHING THE REEL MADDIE (WATCHING) (CONT’D) These aren’t really bloopers...

FRANK (ON BLOOPER REEL) Sure. I don’t see why not. No raise though. MADDIE (WATCHING) Okay, maybe they are.

DIRECTOR (O.S.) Cut! Hey guys,esmareldaknows.com let’s try that again from Maddie’s line. Maddie nods and resets. MADDIE (ON BLOOPER REEL) Actually, you know Frank, I’ve been thinking that I haven’t really been very happy here the last year or so. I’ll stay around to find a replacement, but I really think it will be better for both of us in the long run if I found somewhere else to work. MADDIE (WATCHING) (CONT’D) Ugh. That’s what I should have done years ago.

SFX: REEL BLIP! 107.

EXT. A HIGH SCHOOL - NIGHT (BLOOPER REEL) HANNAH (ON BLOOPER REEL) Oh come on. You know what’s inside. A bunch of tweaked out oversexed teens all popping molly and dancing like this. Hannah performs a weird trance-like dance. MADDIE (ON BLOOPER REEL) Will you stop being a jerk for once and just stay with me? MADDIE (WATCHING) (CONT’D) Ah. Yeah. Guess I could have handled that better, too.

SFX: REEL BLIP! Take Two: MADDIE (ON BLOOPER REEL) (CONT’D) I mean, you’re right about most things, that’s for sure. But will you please stay with me this one time while I figure this all out? MADDIE (WATCHING) (CONT’D) Are these credits fricking over yet?

INT. OUR GIRL’S APARTMENTesmareldaknows.com (BLOOPER REEL) Maddie is huddled on the couch under a blanket. She wears sweat pants and looks awful. The doorbell rings. She goes to the door and pays for her Chinese food. ON THE COUCH Maddie picks up the remote and scrolls through Netflix. Keeps scrolling and scrolling and scrolling some more. Nothing. She sets the remote down, heaves a big sigh and takes a bite of her Chinese food. Then she starts to cry. And cry. And cry some more. 108.

MADDIE (WATCHING) This is embarrassing.

It’s funny at first, but soon it is obvious that there is a huge aching pain in her heart that she cannot fill. It opens up more and more with every tear that falls. The front door opens as Dot walks in. Maddie quickly composes herself, hiding the waterworks. MADDIE (ON BLOOPER REEL) (CONT’D) Hey! Welcome home. Do you want to watch something with me? DOT (ON BLOOPER REEL) Nah, not really feeling it. I’m gonna go hang out in my room. MADDIE Okay cool. See you later, I guess. Dot leaves and Maddie starts crying again. SFX: REEL BLIP!

INT. VIDEO PALACE (BLOOPER REEL) MADDIE (ON BLOOPER REEL) Oh man, I better stock up on my two million sunblock then. Maddie and Bill giggle at their dorky “Terminator” jokes. esmareldaknows.comBILL (ON BLOOPER REEL) You know, I could use some extra help around here if you ever wanted a second job. MADDIE (ON BLOOPER REEL) (snorts) Ha! I appreciate the offer, but I think I have enough on my plate with the one I have now. DIRECTOR (O.S.) Cut! Hey guys, do you think you could take that line again and just make it a little... sexier?

MARCIE BILL Yeah sure. Sure, no problem. 109.

DIRECTOR (O.S.) Great, okay. Action! BILL (ON BLOOPER REEL) You know, I could use some extra help around here if you ever wanted a second job. MADDIE (ON BLOOPER REEL) Aw, that’s so sweet of you. I’m pretty busy with the one I have now, but... Maddie writes on a piece of paper and slips it to Bill. She leans over the counter, getting close to him. Her cleavage just barely peeking out from the top of her dress. MADDIE (ON BLOOPER REEL) (CONT’D) Give me a call if you think these are the droids you’re looking for. MADDIE (WATCHING) (CONT’D) Sweet singing frog. That would’ve been such a better line!

BACK IN THE BLACKNESS The credits finish rolling. COPYRIGHT lounges in the circle of the movie’s copyright logo. COPYRIGHT Universal Pictures, LLC is the author of this motion picture for the purposeesmareldaknows.com of copyright and other laws. Please discard all trash on your way out of the theater. MADDIE It’s over already? WHOOSH! She’s sucked violently down a wormhole. Faster and faster. It releases her -- she’s falling and falling and CRASH!

INT. VIDEO PALACE She falls right through the roof of the Video Palace, but Bill doesn’t seem to notice. 110.

BILL ..they’re all just behind this curtain. FROM THE FLOOR Maddie dusts herself off as she stands up from the ground. She looks... different. Stronger. Mature. She looks like a grown ass woman is what she looks like.

She saunters up towards Bill, a wicked look in her eye. He can’t take his eyes off of her as he’s locked in to her tractor beam. MADDIE Yeah? I bet you keep a lot of fun things behind that curtain. She flips her hair and glamours him with her gaze. She snaps out of it.

MADDIE (CONT’D) Agh. You know what? I can’t do this like this. Do you maybe want to go eat food and watch cartoons and then if the mood feels right just straight up go to town on each other sometime? Bill is dumbfounded.esmareldaknows.com He takes a big gulp and swallows. BILL Yeah. That, um, that sounds like it might be fun. She snaps back in to sexy mode and gives him her best eyes. MADDIE Oh, it will be. No wink. Just a lingering gaze. She turns to saunter out of the store. Bill looks down to see the other half of the Best Friends Forever necklace sitting on the counter. She opens the door to leave. 111.

BILL Wait! Bill leaps over the counter and runs to block her from leaving. He stands close. She looks up at him. From this angle, he looks like an entirely different man. Strong. Handsome. Confident. BILL (CONT’D) Is that a green light? She puts her hands on the back on his neck and gazes into the pools of his glowing eyes. MADDIE You bet your sweet ass it is. She pulls him in for The Kiss. You, know. That kiss. The kiss. That “holy cow is this really happening? ...I can’t believe this is actually happening” kiss. Bill breaks the kiss. MADDIE (CONT’D) Oh wow. esmareldaknows.com Bill is paralyzed in a completely love drunk daze. Struggles to find the words. BILL I mean, I, uh. I have some free time now if you want to watch something. MADDIE I’ve got a better idea. She takes his hand.

INT. OFFICE BUILDING Maddie storms down the hallway, on a mission. 112.

PING Oh em gee, look who decided to show up today. You’re going to be in big trouble, you know-- MADDIE Shove it up your Snapchat, Ping. Maddie whizzes past Ping, making a beeline for Frank’s office.

INT. FRANK’S OFFICE Today, Frank is having a visit from his acupuncturist. He is splayed on a table with needles popping out of his back. Maddie bursts through the door. Frank turns his head, startled. MADDIE I quit. FRANK Finally you’re here! The phone’s been ringing all morning and-- Maddie closes the door on him mid sentence. Frank turns to his acupuncturist. FRANK (CONT’D) Did she just quit? The acupuncturist givesesmareldaknows.com him nothing but a blank stare.

INT. OFFICE HALLWAY Maddie marches to her desk, finds a box and starts packing. Frank bursts out of his office, needles still protruding from his back. FRANK Quit? You can’t quit. My iPad won’t even connect to the WiFi in here. Who am I going to get to fix that? Maddie finishes packing the box. She picks it up and starts toward the elevator. 113.

MADDIE Anyone. Literally anyone can help you with that. She picks up her pace toward the elevator. Frank follows her. FRANK You’re done. You here me? You’re through. You are blacklisted from this company. You are blacklisted from this industry. I will personally see to it you never work in a one hundred mile radius of here. MADDIE Blacklists don’t stop people from working, Frank. She reaches the elevator. The doors open right away.

INT. ELEVATOR Ping and other coworkers stand in shock as Maddie darts inside. Frank blocks the door with his arm as she furiously hits the Lobby button. FRANK Don’t go. Please, come on. Who’s going to schedule my haircuts? Who’s going to get my coffee right just the wayesmareldaknows.com I like it every time? You’re good at this stuff, Maddie. Don’t throw your career away over a few extra bucks an hour. I don’t even know how to work the voicemail. How am I going to know what calls I missed? She reaches behind him and plucks a needle from his shoulder. FRANK (CONT’D) Ow! She POKES his blocking hand with the needle. He retracts. FRANK (CONT’D) Ow! The elevator doors begin to shut. 114.

MADDIE I guess you’re just going to have to figure it out. Frank stands, wounded and rubbing his hand as the elevator doors come to a close.

INT. ELEVATOR Maddie leans back and breathes a sigh of relief. She stares up at the ceiling and notices something. She squints... Just above the elevator doors, someone has carved the word “Touche” in to the wall. She smirks as the elevator door bings open.

INT. OFFICE HALLWAY Frank bangs his fist on the elevator door in frustration. He turns around to see that the entire floor of employees have just witnessed what took place. Ping stands close to Frank and takes a picture of him with her Smartphone. PING Hashtag Human Porcupine... FRANK Show’s over,esmareldaknows.com everyone back to work! FADE TO:

EXT. THE OPEN ROAD A beautiful, wide-open road stretches out before them. Mountains, meadows, grass, everything nature has to offer is right at their finger tips. On the side of the road, Maddie places her Smartphone behind the back wheel of her car.

INT. HER CAR Bill sits in the passenger seat waiting. He looks nervous. Maddie slips in to the driver’s seat. 115.

MADDIE Are you ready? BILL I think so. Nope. Bill opens his passenger door and vomits. BILL (CONT’D) Maybe not. MADDIE You’ll get used to it. She puts on a pair of badass aviator sunglasses and takes a bite out of a carrot. She starts the car and puts it in reverse. CRUNCH! She backs up over the Smartphone. MADDIE (CONT’D) God that felt good. Mathilda stares out at the setting sun falling beneath the road ahead. She grips the wheel, puts it in drive, takes a deep breath, and turns to Bill. MADDIE (CONT’D) Let’s go. The end.

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