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SALVATION ARMY OURLIVESMADISON.COM >> Connect Our Community >> FACEBOOK.COM/OURLIVESMAGAZINE Treating the Whole You special issue youth & families Resources for creating and supporting healthy LGBTQ families November/ December 2014 Madison’s LGBT&XYZ Magazine She Rules How the Honorable Rhonda Lanford overcame life’s obstacles to become an out circuit court judge about our SALVATION ARMY OURLIVESMADISON.COM >> Connect Our Community >> FACEBOOK.COM/OURLIVESMAGAZINE Treating the whole you... By building strong, open and caring relationships with our patients and focusing on the importance WILDWOOD of addressing all aspects of an individual’s life, FAMILY CLINIC, S.C. Wildwood providers are your partner in the ”HEALTHCARE FOR ALL AGES” journey towards a healthier you. www.wildwoodclinic.com Since 1978 Independently Owned Individualized Care 2014 Willy West: 6825 University Ave., Middleton • (608) 284-7800 Willy East: 1221 Williamson St., Madison • (608) 251-6776 Open 7:30am - 9:30pm daily • www.willystreet.coop Look for gift tags throughout our stores,for great ideas about holiday gifts and gift boxes! Join for as little as $10 for the first year, or a NOVEMBER / DECEMBER 2014 one-time payment of $58. 3 nnnnnn “Let’s make no mistake about EDITOR’S NOTE EMILY MILLS this: The American Dream our lives starts with the neighborhoods. WE ARE FAMILY If we wish to rebuild our cities, THE QUESTION HAS BEEN ASKED many times: we must first rebuild our what makes a family? Different people neighborhoods. And to do that, with different agendas across different eras we must understand that the ol have answered in various ways, but I think quality of life is more important every definition has a core of commonality: than the standard of living. Madison’s LGBT&XYZ Magazine family are the people who make up your direct world, and, ideally, they are the ones To sit on the front steps— Patrick Farabaugh whether it’s a veranda in a small Publisher / Editor-in-Chief that know you the best, support you, love town or a concrete stoop in Emily Mills you, and make your journey through life less lonely and far more a big city—and to talk to our Editor interesting. You do the same for them in return. Katie Ramos neighborhoods is infinitely more Sometimes family is blood, and sometimes we choose our families. Copy Editor This is especially common in the LGBTQ community, as many of us important than to huddle on the Contributing Writers have had to find support elsewhere when it wasn’t available at home. living-room lounger and watch Jeanne Moe Benink Judy Dahl A community can be a family too. It takes a village, after all, to a make-believe world in not- Rosalee Eichstedt raise a child—even one that’s matured into adulthood. The simple fact quite living color.” Sue Gill Tara Gregorich of the matter is we need each other. HARVEY MILK Katie Jayce I see these various approaches to the same idea reflected in Linda Ketcham the pages of this issue, from stories of community activists to 24 Rhonda Lanford Michele L. Perreault examinations of what it means to be part of a particular family that Mark Pocan enjoys more opportunity and security than others. Our cover feature by Carrie Waters Schmidt Judge Rhonda Lanford is a deeply personal history that runs the gamut Kim Simes Richard Wagner of emotions and experiences and highlights the important role that Caroline Werner different families play in our lives. It’s an incredible read, and I’m so blinds•shades•draperies Brian Wild grateful to her for sharing it with all of us. home furnishings Editorial Facilitators Family means having each other’s backs, even when—especially Tim Lom 608.609.1488 call/text 12 48 8 Ryan Petty when—things are hard. Even in our more enlightened times, when www.exquisiteWD.com Contributing Artists legal same-sex marriage is sweeping the nation, there are still Roberto Amezcua families forced to live their truths in professional closets, as told in an TABLE OF CONTENTS nnnnnn YOUTH & FAMILIES nnnnnn NOVEMBER /DECEMBER 2014 Eric Baillies anonymous reader’s story. It’s crucial to remember that this is still the Daniella Echeverria Callen Harty necessary reality for too many of our friends and relatives. Timothy Hughes You’ll notice that I have an article in this issue too, exploring the DEPARTMENTS CONNECT IMPROVE Beth McConnell local Dane County chapter of the Salvation Army’s relationship with Shawna Schwalenberg 5 EDITOR’S LETTER & 8 OUR ATHLETES 42 OUR PETS the LGBTQ community and the surprising misconceptions they face. CONTRIBUTORS Account Manager Katie Jayce on women’s Readers introduce us to their Sedrick Huppert I went into it with some strong preconceived ideas about who and tackle football. four-legged family members. 6 DANE BUY LOCAL SPOTLIGHT Business Manager what they are as an organization and came out of it with a completely 10 OUR ENTERTAINERS 44 OUR RIGHTS Matt Jelinek different picture. I hope you’ll give it a read and some serious thought FEATURES Proud Theater Executive Director Michele L. Perreault on National Advertising Sales because theirs is a story of family too, and of doing whatever we can to 24 FINDING FAMILY Brian Wild. full parental equality. Rivendell Media Inc. provide a soft spot to land for those who’ve fallen through the cracks. Judge Rhonda Lanford on the 12 OUR ORGANIZERS 46 OUR REPRESENTATIVE We can’t choose the families we’re born into—some of us luck love of families, both blood and Kim Simes on the Rep. Mark Pocan reflects on Subscribers in out, some of us decidedly don’t—but we can choose how we build chosen. Family Equality Council. his first term in Congress. 300+ Wisconsin the families with whom we walk through this world and what kind of work we do along the way. Will we support each other, even when we 25 WHAT’S TRENDING: 14 OUR FAMILIES 48 OUR INTERSECTIONS cities & towns FAMILIES & YOUTH don’t entirely understand where the other is coming from? Will we An anonymous reader on going Linda Ketcham how we Local leaders talk what’s back into the closet. care for our children. keep open eyes, ears, and hearts for our close friends and the strangers new and what’s coming next. ©2014 All Rights Reserved. who are, after all, part of our human family? The holiday season is 16 OUR ELDERS 50 OUR ISSUES November/December 2014 Volume 8, Issue 3 32 SURROGACY FOR always a good time to reflect on these ideas and take real actions to Caroline Werner interviews Dr. Sue Gill on queer-identified Life in the Middle Publishing, LLC SAME-SEX COUPLES follow through on those notions. I hope we all take that time and Carrie “Chaous” Riddle. people who end up ostracized Patrick Farabaugh & Joseph Patane, Publishers. 215 Martin Luther King Jr Blvd., n Judy Dahl looks at advances in or unseen. approach the New Year with renewed drive and purpose. options for hopeful parents. 18 OUR PARENTS Box 1202, Madison, WI 53701 51 OUR MONEY Any reproduction of OL: Our Lives Magazine in 36 MEETING A NEED Rosalee Eichstedt reflects on her nnnnnn relationship with her newly out Carrie Waters Schmidt on part or in full without the written permission of FEATURED CONTRIBUTOR Emily Mills takes a look at the bisexual dad. retirement health care expenses. the publisher is strictly prohibited. OL: Our Lives Salvation Army of Dane County. Magazine shall not be held responsible for any DANIELLA ECHEVERRIA is a designer, 20 OUR CALENDAR 52 OUR TASTE claims made by our advertisers. Submission of 40 OUR HISTORY: OPEN’S Workplace Summit, Black Earth Meats. photographs or other images to OL: Our Lives illustrator, and web designer in Madison, LGBT SAFE SCHOOLS, PART 2 Wanda Sykes, StageQ, Magazine may be published without providing WI. She’s currently working at designCraft Dick Wagner on creating Oscar Wilde and more! 54 OUR FUTURE LEADERS image credit. Appearance of any person, business Advertising designing and developing harassment-free schools. Tara Gregorich drops her mask. or organization within photographs, advertise- ments, or editorial content neither implies nor websites for local businesses. You can also infers any indication of their sexual orientation. find her tweeting at @khomuz or on her COVER PHOTO BY TIMOTHY HUGHES Hair & makeup by Daisy Quintal-Lepinski, Union Hair Parlor website, khomuz.com. 4 Made on a Mac NOVEMBER / DECEMBER 2014 NOVEMBER / DECEMBER 2014 5 DANE BUY LOCAL nnnnnn MEMBER SPOTLIGHT CONGR ATULATIONS, WISCONSIN! UW CREDIT UNION WE ARE READY, ABLE, AND EXCITED TO HELP WISCONSIN FAMILIES UWCU.ORG DURING THIS EXCITING TIME IN OUR HISTORY Rob Van Nevel Senior Vice President & Chief Member Solutions Officer 3500 University Avenue, Madison ADVISING LGBT FAMILIES FORMING AND PROTECTING FAMILIES Why is buying local important to you and your business? POST-WOLF AND WINDSOR PARENTAGE PETITIONS As a company, we look for opportunities to positively impact the communities in which we live and serve. We know that by supporting local businesses, we’re DECISION TO MARRY STEP-PARENT ADOPTION • JOINT ADOPTION helping to build stronger communities by increasing jobs and improving the LIFE AND ESTATE PLANNING ASSISTED REPRODUCTION (INCLUDING SURROGACY) local economy. Decisions that impact neighborhoods are made by individuals who know our residents and cities best.. PRE- & POST-NUPTIAL AGREEMENTS FOSTER PARENTING • GUARDIANSHIPS What is your connection to the LGBT community? STATE & FEDER AL TAXES (FILING & AMENDING) APPEALS I have been an out and proud member and advocate for the LGBTQ community IMMIGR ATION since coming to Madison to complete my undergraduate degree in 1990. I believe that my sexual orientation is an important aspect of my humanity and DIVORCE & CHILD CUSTODY life experience.
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