How Do I Know When to Intervene in Social Situations for My Daughter and When to Let Her Learn?
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Volume 37 1 How do I know when to intervene in social situations for my daughter and when to let her learn? giant leaps with her Social situations can be child struggles with social social skills. quite an issue for a child situations. with Asperger’s. One of the biggest You have to trust your expectations for children It can be difficult to heart to decide when and with Asperger’s is that understand when to talk to how to help your child. they make eye contact others, what to say, how to with the person in which react, when to stop talking, As you find strategies to they are speaking. etc. help your child cope with social deficits, know that it It is not going to happen Those with Asperger’s will is okay to help out when overnight even if you likely struggle with these you see fit. push hard for it as a issues for the rest of their parent. lives, but they will likely improve in social interactions in certain areas. As a parent, it may be very hard to decide when and how to intervene when your A note from the editor 2 Inside this issue: How do I know when to ...…. 5 Aspie X 10 Mom’s the word (Pam) 15 The Sibling 17 She will develop her social You should take smaller skills over time and the Grandma Vicki 19 steps toward getting to learning will be continuous. Cherie’s Thought’s 21 the end goal, such as requesting that your A Little Inspiration 22 You should think about the daughter make eye following when addressing About a boy 25 contact for a second or her social needs: two at a time during Straight Outta B'More 27 conversation or that she Beware of extreme Magic & Wonder (Dylan) 29 stand facing the person expectations – It is she is talking to during The Advocate (Mo) 31 better for you to expect the conversation. your daughter to take Word from the community . 35 baby steps instead of And finally . 37 www.aspirationsnewsletter.com 2 A note from the editor (aka Dave’s talk!) The column I had NOT One is a cautionary tale for created violent mass planned to write. all parents. And one is killings on computer games. about a hero. So here we As I’m sure you know go: On October 20th 2016 he there’s been several horrific planted a bomb on a terror attacks here in the Damon Smith London underground (tube) UK. One in my home town train. Luckily it was found of Manchester and one in Damon is a 20 yr old from by passengers and disposed London (where I also lived Devon in South West without causing any for a while). England. He was diagnosed injuries. However it was a with Asperger’s as a 9 year terrifying act nonetheless. I have avoided talking old. Like many – he about them in my daily struggled with bullying, The reason I mention it now emails. Because to be and spent some time out of – is that sentencing for his honest – what can I add? education because of it. crime was held last week (May 31st 2017) at the They were horrific, Around aged 10 he began a Central Criminal Court in traumatic and my thoughts fascination, which would London. Right in the and love go out to everyone lead to a most terrible middle of all the other affected. situation almost 10 years horrendous terror acts that later. This was a huge happened in Manchester And in the wider picture it’s interest in weapons, guns and London. just making the world seem and bombs. Researching just that little bit more online all about them, In court it was heard that awful. And as it’s all been including how to make the bomb had been made covered to the nth degree them. This interest grew from an online article, using by the world’s media 24-7 – over time. a simple £2/$2 I didn’t really see a place supermarket bought clock. for this in my daily Fast forward 10 years to However Damon had messages about parenting October 2016 and Damon tweaked the model, to an children with Asperger’s. was living in London as a extent which would have university student. His made it a lot less harmful However several twists to mum Antonitza had even than the original design. the overall theme – changed moved with him to London this. – to support his studies. His defense barrister argued that the bomb There are 2 smaller stories Sadly Damon still had making was much more of in amongst these much interests in violence and an extension of his previous bigger global events which aggression. Friends relate pre- occupation with are relevant. As they stories of him showing weapons (which included directly involve 2 young them terrorist propaganda shooting violent videos, people with ASD (Damon videos, and self made You using b-b guns, ordering and Micah). Tube videos where he re- knuckle dusters etc.) rather www.aspirationsnewsletter.com 3 A note from the editor (aka Dave’s talk!) than a huge leap into new Reflection: research by Berryessa behavior. (2014), who interviewed 21 Not for me to talk about Californian Superior Court Damon himself said it was guilt, intent or otherwise. Judges on the topic of meant as a “prank”. That it That’s the court’s job which Asperger’s and criminal was supposed to be a they’ve done. But the one sentencing. smoke bomb only, and that thing I found most he had not meant to harm interesting was that no one Most of the judges were anyone, and that he was – not the judge or uncertain about truly sorry. However the psychiatrists could really understanding and deciding prosecution pointed out the get a handle of the “why” of criminal responsibility, huge amount of potential the situation. when it came to sentencing injury and destruction it people with Asperger’s. would have caused had it Why Damon did what he detonated. did. In fact several Judges felt that as people with AS don’t The court’s findings were In many ways this was very “view the world” in the interesting. Ultimately the unique. same way that offenders judge felt that Damon was without AS, it’s a massive not motivated by terrorism. Damon’s interest in problem for judges to really But that he was a terrorism seemed an understand the intent of dangerous offender – as he extension of his 10 year pre the defendant (with ASD)’s assembled this potentially -occupation with violence actions. And then how this life threatening bomb and and weapons. Rather than should be considered when left it on a commuter train. just a means to an end, sentencing. related to some kind of Also his historical pre- terrorist “cause” or “end So it’s clearly a huge occupation with weapons goal”. challenge for the legal and violence was of system. significant concern. So And as we know Asperger’s much so that the expert is all about ‘difference’. A As is the best way to deal psychiatrists who were brain that’s wired a little with a case such as called in - were unable to differently. say if his fascination with Damon’s. Clearly there are explosives would end here. So for a judge with a brain huge and catastrophic Or whether he could that work a certain way (i.e. implications to what he did attempt something like this neuro typical) to (and what could have again in future. understand and future happened). But what little guess a mind that works a research there is out there The judge sentenced little differently (even with (e.g. Allely, 2015) – tends to Damon to 15 years expert support) is virtually imprisonment, with an impossible. indicate that prison is not a extended period of five This is borne out by positive environment for years on license. people with ASD. And could www.aspirationsnewsletter.com 4 A note from the editor (aka Dave’s talk!) References: https://www.vice.com/ en_us/article/the - british-teenager-who- tried-to-bomb-a-tube- train http://www.bbc.co.uk/ n e w s / u k - e n g l a n d - london-40059351 h t t p s : / / www.theguardian.com/ uk- n e w s / 2 0 1 7 / may/03/devon-student -damon-smith-guilty- h o m e m a d e - b o m b - actually do more harm with anything remotely like l o n d o n - t u b e - than good. this – but it only takes 1 high profile case in the underground My final thought is of media to change public thanks to the quick witted perceptions for the h t t p : / / reactions of passengers, negative. www.independent.co.uk train and police personnel /news/uk/crime/ who stopped this bomb To follow this story I will damon-smith-teenager- from going off, last May. share with you the story of And probably saving the Micah in the “And Finally” made-bombs-because- lives of many people. section of the newsletter. he-was-bored-guilty- a7715611.html And also as a secondary His is a story of bravery result - it has fortunately and kindness in the face of h t t p s : / / stopped the diagnosis of terrorist activity in the www.criminallawandjus “Asperger’s” being USA. associated with a high tice.co.uk/features/ profile atrocity. Understanding-What- Defendant-Asperger% The overwhelmingly vast E2%80%99s-Syndrome majority of people with ASD -Understood would never been involved www.aspirationsnewsletter.com 5 The basics kids with ASD need to know about how to communi- cate with people, and how to help them develop their skills.