Top 5 Disney songs Top 5Disneysongs media handle students getting students getting semester one Can the Aussie Can theAussie (slightly less) (slightly less) to have sex to to havesex International International SUDS and MUSE SUDS andMUSE week two Guardian? screwed screwed reviews Pg 11 Pg 14 2013 Pg 4 Pg 8

The The honi soit strike one... DISCONTENTS WHY YOU NEED HONI SOIT SOUND HONI NEWS Is it too much? A cover photo, a news And that’s fine. The audiences of these disputes that overwhelm your cam- 5. Run for Union, Get story, letters, and three opinion pieces. papers are too vast to spend pages on pus, the politics that govern your stu- It’s a strike heavy edition, that’s for sure. something so local. They don’t care if dent organisations, and sometimes, just Paid But it’s no accident. Sally from Engineering decided to take sometimes, the insects that chase your 6. NTEU Strike opinions Like so many issues important to stu- a stand on the picket line, or if Damien lecturer out of their lecture hall. dents, last week’s NTEU/CPSU strike from Commerce just wanted to go to his 7. Top 5 Disney songs received wide coverage of only shallow lecture. to have sex to depth. It was exactly the kind of jour- But we do. When we campaigned and Rafi Alam nalism we railed against in the past two sought election as an editorial team the editorials; intro, quote A vs. quote B, most consistent feedback we got was Max Chalmers 9. What’s in the box? fin. The ABC, The Sydney Morning Her- that students wanted a paper that was Editor-in-chief John Gooding ald, The Daily Telegraph, and The Austra- local, a paper that was different to the lian got their Michael Thomson, Michael SMH, the Oz, the ABC. Spence, and David Pink quotes and then We’ve made the decision to go into ARTS & CULTURE got out. Tellingly, the most critical, ana- depth with issues like the strike to fill the lytical article I have read so far was writ- gap and to give students a platform to 12. FIrst Person: My ten by our friends over at UTS’ student discuss and debate the issues that press publication, Vertigo. They were the only down on them every day, in profoundly Mardi Gras publication to run a direct quote from a manifest and inscrutably subtle ways. student aside from the SRC President. Lucy Watson Our in-depth strike coverage is indica- Elsewhere, the voices of staff and stu- tive of our broader agenda. We’re here dents couldn’t fit in the 250 word news 15. Taylor is a wailer to report the stories that affect you on brief. Lulu Smyth the most immediate level; the industrial 20. Crosswords + puzzles Check it out - extra long letter A queer theory than inverting this pattern of exclusion section!!! Think it’s too much? In response to Evan Van Zijl's 'It's and abuse? What could be more radical THE Write us a letter to complain! not always sunny over the rainbow', I than seeing our most vulnerable children SOIN find it odd that he suggests we should with smiles beaming across their faces, ignore the strength of capitalism for the receiving the love of thousands? Sure, 21. Tony Abbott http://www.facebook.com queer community. This is another clas- the Mardi Gras is not a panacea. Sure, /honisoitsydney sic example of the politicisation of the the Mardi Gras has become a tourist and and dog whistles queer community into a left/right split commercial attraction. But I believe this - that with its roots in the left, associa- is not about abstract political concepts tion with the right must be considered 23. Horoscopes @honi_soit of social revolution. It’s about creat- a form of treason. It assumes that any ing a fabulous, exceptional and unprec- sponsorship or capitalistic interest is edented space where our most neglected hollow. This is far from the truth. The can proudly celebrate and be celebrated. Editor-in-chief: Max Chalmers truth is - the dollar does not discrimi- Now that is radical. Editors: Lucy Watson, Nina Ubaldi, Xiaoran Shi, Nick Rowbotham, Hannah Ryan, nate. Not morally, only economically. Mariana Podesta-Diverio, Avani Dias, Bryant Apolonio, Rafi Alam. The more economic and social power Thomas Poberezny-Lynch. our community has, the more, in lieu of Arts III Reporters: Georgia Behrens, Adam Chalmers, Matt Clarke, Hal Conyngham, a better word, promotable our cause is. Adam Disney, John Gooding, Jack Gow, Joseph Istiphan, Samantha Jonscher, Government legislation often follows Neha Kasbekar, Madeleine King, Georgia Kriz, Felicity Nelson, Tom O’Brien, Sean social change and corporate support in Not angry, just disappointed O’Grady, Justin Pen, Nick Richardson, Lulu Smyth, Harry Stratton Caitlin Still, a capitalistic nation like Australia will When I first came to University, I Mischa Vickas, Max Weber, Ezreena Yahya. affect social change - it starts from the imagined in my mind that it would be Contributors: Bro Reveleigh, Drew Rooke, Mala Wadhera, Evan Van Zijl. ground up, not trying to always destroy exactly like the Oxbridge of so many the power at the top. As for the concern period dramas, with small, intimate Cover Image: Victoria Baldwin. of police arrests or drug searches, this classes, or that it would be like the Syd- Photographers: Stella Ktenas, Drew Rooke, Jennifer Yiu. is not necessarily a queer issue - it's an ney University my mother attended in Creative Contributors: Lachlan Buller issue of the police state. It's sympto- the early 1980s. I spent much of my Puzzles: Dom Campbell, Dover Dubosarsky, Eric Shi matic of something like America's "War HSC year listening to her stories of on drugs", all party goers are subjected the close relationships she formed, not Honi Soit is published by the Students’ Representative Council, University of to such treatment, straight or gay. To least with the Vice-Chancellor J.M. Ward Sydney, Level 1 Wentworth Building, City Road, University of Sydney, NSW, 2006. put this concern alongside sponsor- who was for a time her History tutor. The SRC’s operation costs, space and administrative support are financed by the ship of the Mardi Gras is misleading. It seems of another age and the illusion University of Sydney. The editors of Honi Soit and the SRC acknowledge the traditional owners of this land, the Gadigal people of the Eora nation. Civil liberties have nothing to do with has slowly been shattered. Honi Soit is written, printed, and distributed on Aboriginal land. Honi Soit Mardi Gras sponsorship. Queers do not Evidently, I was born too late, into a is printed under the auspices of the SRC’s Directors of Student Publications: belong to all causes of the left. Let's not world of oversized classes, overworked Clare Angel-Auld, Adam Chalmers, Bebe D’Souza, Brigitte Garozzo, James bite the hand that feeds. Don't split our O’Doherty, Lane Sainty. All expressions are published on the basis that they are not lecturers and underfunded departments. to be regarded as the opinions of the SRC unless specifically stated. The Council community into political camps. If we I have witnessed in my time here the huge accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any of the opinions or information have strength of the people, the dollar reduction in books at Fisher Library as contained within this newspaper, nor does it endorse any of the advertisements will follow... well as the protests over the staff cuts and insertions. Printed by MPD, Unit E1 46-62 Maddox St. Alexandria NSW 2015. Peter Dang, last year, with the underhanded manner Arts I the issue of contracts was dealt with by Want to place an advertisement in Honi Soit ? Contact Amanda the administration. We cannot turn back LeMay & Jess Henderson [email protected] time thirty years (or more) but I still find In defence of Mardi Gras the notion of Universities becoming WOULD YOU RATHER... Recently, I had the honour of march- places of business rather than learning ing with countless queer high schoolers wholly abhorrent. The administration is Have nipples all Be Voldemort’s as part of the “Wear It Purple” Mardi disconnected from its staff and students over your arms, OR sexual part- Gras float. With the march fresh in my and reality. neck and face? ner? mind I feel it necessary to counter the I do not know what the future holds FAQ pervasive belief that the Mardi Gras is for this University or any other across no longer ‘radical’. Queer young people the world. I can only hope that the strike What kind of lover is Voldemort? sends a clear message: that the Univer- Surprisingly gentle and conservative, although he does enjoy a bit of wandplay face extreme and unconscionable bully- now and again. ing and violence on a daily basis. They sity, in the course of its history, has been If I pick nipples, can I milk myself? made great by its teaching staff and not Yes, but only your face nipples will excrete milk, and it will be unpasteurised and are rejected and ignored by society. not homogenised. Therefore, what could be more radical SOUND & www.honisoit.com letters Email all letters and submissions to: fury [email protected] students are being bullied into degrees given a free place to live. This isn’t that will land them jobs in “useful” pro- Vietnam moratorium time, this isn’t fessions. Universities are being seen as Tiananmen Square – this is Sydney businessmen like Michael Spence, who, account both the Young Liberals on places of vocational training rather than 2013 for shit’s sake – get your heads though once an academic, has lost his campus and those they aspire to be in places of learning. This is a polluting out of the ‘Occupy’ clouds and into way. Federal parliament, as they always talk and corrupting thought. Like learning reality and stop being so damned Elliot Nolan the talk but fail to walk the walk. a musical instrument, education should paranoid. You naturally prejudice anyone with a placard to be the mor- Shelley Smith be pursued for other reason than enjoy- Arts IV ally oppressed victim and any insti- ment. Civilisation thrives on thoughtful Socio-Legal Studies IV tution to be an inherently evil entity observers of the universe. It does not Be a good sport with a nefarious agenda and a Sith need any more miserable office work- You guys are alright! lord at the helm. In your week one issue, I could not ers. So when someone asks what you’re I know that when you leave your find even one article regarding sport. As I would first of all, like to write my going to do with your Barts degree, tell an avid sports fan I find it disappointing social science tutorials, all pent up congratulations regarding Unigate (I them you’ll frame it and put it on your that this section of the news was com- see what you did there!). I greatly enjoy on a caffeinated ideological high you wall. pletely glossed over and that no column the slightly tongue-in-cheek manner need an outlet at which to vent polit- was dedicated to sport. I assume it was of reporting on so-called scandals, and William Poulos. ical angst – but turning around and left out to make sure you got more than appreciate that you ordered the scan- Arts I targeting the university itself? The very institution that empowers you one letter this week and that this will dals in order of scandalousness. That therefore not be an ongoing issue on a members of the Union Board I may with knowledge, opportunity and the campus that includes 43 different sport- have inadvertently helped elect would Not all staff support the strike skills to think and act critically? You ing clubs and has a rich sporting history. stoop to SRC-style tactics of ‘just don’t Your editor-in-chief ’s editorial this turn around and cry out that it’s per- There is plenty to write about concern- show up to the meeting’, in order to week actually made me get up and type secuting you? Treating you with con- ing the wide world of sport as well as not opening show disapproval for a this. As a staff member at the university tempt? You are some kind of victim sport in our university, so please give us tabled motion is disgraceful. I trust the (and no, not a PR person, nor anywhere of your own elite education? What a sports lovers something to read. Board to keep my co-curricular inter- near the VC’s realm), I’d been looking strange and sad phenomenon that is! Matthew Watson ests at heart, and one of those interests on bemused as the usual activist clique I’m all for fair conditions at work – is supporting the staff that help mould have jumped onto this NTEU indus- but I’m also for fair play. Arts IV (Media and Communica- trial action, and wondered what pos- tions) me into the mouldy old degree-getter I Annoyed Staffer am today. I would, in future, hope that sible practical motivations there could Board members show some gumption be other than the nonsensical ‘pro- Dead wrong and engage in debate about whether the tect our education’ jingoism (Funnily To My Secret Admirer Mr Raue’s ‘Drop Dead gorgeous’ arti- USU should support University staff enough, the university wants to educate ‘Twas early on Wednesday morn, cle made for unpleasant and disturbing members. We have all, at one time or you!). So, Rafi’s editorial header caught when you first wooed me with your reading much like his topic of choice- another, railed against the institution we my eye. But unfortunately, though not graces: subtle - nay, tantalising! - the practice of Necrophilia. Tom fanci- call uni. I’m proud to be standing in soli- surprisingly, instead of any actual useful hints of your long-disguised affec- fully covers the idea of necrophilia from darity with my lecturers and tutors. point, all he wrote was tiresome rhetoric tions. Such eloquent displays of wit the point of view of a pre-pubescent J.S I also need to applaud the attitude of and repetitious ideological drivel. A big and profundity - I couldn’t breathe, Mill by discussing dead body property the Honi editors. ‘Objectivity is dead’ wank, in other words. But I still got my such was the poetry of your speech rights and climaxing in his nonchalance and we all know it (at least Arts students answer. You really don’t know, do you? written in chalk on my O Week stall! at strangers using his dead body for sex- know it). That you’re up front about this, This strike is a farce, and one that cer- The gift of your undergarments ual pleasure. That necrophilia is morally and open in admitting that each editor tainly very few staff believe is a right or was too much to bear! How long, O repugnant is not simply a matter of taste and writer brings their own biases to the responsible course of action. It’s dread- Admirer? Must you always hide your or favourite tea, as Tom wouldhave it- it table, is a much needed burst of fresh- fully misguided, foolish and frankly, a bit face from me? You are an enigma, is a very disturbing and unnatural prac- ness in this stale news-world. A good embarrassing. shrouded in mystery - and how that tice (if you want a valid reason Tom try deal of my major (Performance Studies) What would halting classes achieve? makes me long for you all the more! ‘bacteria ridden corpse’) which should has focussed on understanding that each Industrial action is meant to cripple pro- You have truly learnt the power of and has been almost universally damned. audience is different, each theatre-maker ductivity in an industry, and in doing so, the ancient adage: ‘treat ‘em mean, Though Tom may decry the position is different, academics are all different, an economy and in doing so, impart a keep ‘em keen’. I must speak to you; of psychologists to define normality and this shows in the theatre we watch political impact. This? This hurts stu- I am half agony, half hope. Meet we may at least breathe asigh of potent and make, and the words that we write. dents who have already paid their fees me at the EU’s Public Meetings at relief that Tom’s perspective on healthy I had a lecturer who banned the word and wish to learn. Denying them that to 1pm (‘Leviticus: Sexist, racist, inhu- behaviour isn’t shared by us all. As usual ‘objective’ from her classroom, telling us send a message to senior management mane?’) Tues – Thurs, or the free I hope and prayed this was a disturbing that it’s impossible to be objective. And about grievances over pay and ‘academic BBQs at Sunken Lawns 11-1pm. I’ll piece of gonzo-journalism but all signs you know, my writing got better, once freedom’ (puhlease – try ‘academic be waiting in a green T-shirt... point to Mr Raue’s decomposing opin- I embraced that. Honi is better, because accountability’) is symbolic cowardice [with an (obnoxiously?) bold claim ions to be truly alive- and dead. objectivity is dead. and bad faith. on the back - one that I happen to Laurence Jude And not to leave Rafi out: fuck the So to students – or staff – who think believe will bring you hope, freedom & life to the full. And if I’m wrong? Arts/Science V establishment, by the time the next edi- it either productive or responsible to tion of Honi goes to print, the strike will hassle others tomorrow morning enter- Then I am ‘to be pitied more than all be over, and I hope to have seen you all ing campus to attend their classes or people’ 1 Corinthians 15:9]. Walking the Tory walk there. do their jobs, please keep this in mind: Steph Judd In response to Grace O’Brien’s let- Sara Amorosi Ninety per cent of students come here to Arts/Law VI ter in last week’s edition, maybe if Science/Arts VII(Hons) learn, to get their degree and enjoy their Vice President of Evangelical Union she and the rest of the Tory debating years studying. Not everyone has to join team had provided examples of con- a club, not everyone has to spend each crete Coalition policies in response to Personal enrichment vs. Employ- waking hour obsessing over campus life. Labor’s instead of skating around the ment Not everyone has to really give a shit issue just like their Federal counterparts, Upon entering university one is faced about the –let’s face it – relatively petty they wouldn’t have been so mocked and with polite questions from friends and qualms the SRC goes on about. These heckled. Instead, they modelled them- family. The first of these being “what 90 per cent understand that higher edu- selves perfectly on the Federal Coalition are you studying?”. If the response isn’t cation (at a Go8 uni, no less) is a privi- lege and have the wisdom to understand by avoiding providing essential details medicine, education or business the sec- and instead chose to castigate their that there is no such thing as ‘student ond question is inevitably “ok... what are opponents in an entirely unproductive oppression’ anymore. At least, unless fashion. It is for this reason alone that you going to do with that?” It is impos- you really wish to stretch the meaning the progressive movement in this coun- sible to exaggerate how unnerving and of ‘oppression’ to include slightly higher try will continue to mock and hold to dangerous this question is. Increasingly food prices on campus and not being

There is nothing funny about erectile dysfunction 3 Grab Honi next week for your free SRC activism calender HONI NEWS FREE Week Two Edition “THE WORST PART OF IT WASN’T LOSING HIM, IT WAS LOSING ME”

Strike (kind of) shuts down University Samantha Jonscher explains what went down last Thursday Last Thursday, staff and students, the police were never far, stepping in clad in NTEU purple and SRC red, only to resolve conflict. formed human barricades across all The majority of classes in the Arts major arteries into the University. faculty were cancelled but many Union leaders described the strike as a teachers in Science, Engineering, “great success” and warned that there Law and Business chose to hold will be more to follow if University class. Student attendance was lower management do not address their than usual but a number of students concerns over the current Enterprise chose to cross the picket line to Bargaining Agreement. attend class. University spokesperson Andrew In an email to students, Deputy Potter told Honi Soit that the strike Vice-Chancellor Derrick Armstrong would not affect bargaining. “The assured students that they would not University has already made a num- be penalised for not attending class. ber of concessions during the nego- Some students disagreed. Engineer- tiations and is waiting for the unions ing students Jonathan and Jessica to also make concessions,” he said. said: “We have to go to class, if we A rally at 12:30pm hosted a number don’t go, we fall behind. It’s not like of notable speakers. Greens Senator we can just do readings to catch up.” Lee Rhiannon said the University had After the protesters trumpeted succeeded “off the back of the work- Photo: Drew Rooke vuvuzelas outside the Vice-Chancel- ers” and ALP Senator Doug Cameron students to see the long-term impacts of ence. If they chose to pass, demonstra- lor’s office, the day came to a close, called the proposed agreement an attack [these proposals].” tors assertively chanted “scab” as they with some picketers lingering into the on unions. The demonstration was non-violent moved aside. afternoon. The President of National Union of but passionate. Protesters cried at stu- Flare-ups from angry visitors were Union members will vote next week Students, Jade Tyrrell, encouraged stu- dents to “leave, there’s no class today” sporadic. On a number of occasions to decide on whether another 48-hour dents to join the cause. “It’s sometimes and stopped cars to brief them on the voices were raised and frustrated driv- strike action will be taken. difficult to connect this strike and stu- situation, encouraging them to turn ers attempted to nudge picketers out of dents’ interests…so we try to encourage away. Many did, if only for conveni- the way. With a riot van circling campus, @samanthajonscher

International students taken for a ride Ezreena Yahya reports on the latest in international students’ rights International students have criticised may only be ordered online by the edu- ment was misleading. “The conditions est number of international student en- the latest change to their transport cation provider with an official invita- and how it was going to be carried out rolments in the country, about 75 000 discounts. The NSW Government an- tion letter - individual applications are was unclear,” he told Honi. “All we want by the end of 2011. Yet it is one of only nounced last October that international not accepted. is to receive the same treatment as local two remaining states (the other being students would be eligible for transport International students who support students. I think it is fair given that we Victoria) which have not approved con- concessions. This news was welcomed themselves may still find funding trans- pay much more in terms of tuition fees. cessions for foreign students. as a commonsense way to address equity port difficult to manage under the new I feel that only a small minority of in- This development indicates that sig- and welfare issues, but its implementa- system. For an international student, a ternational students would benefit from nificant inequalities between domestic tion has been perceived as disappoint- MyBus1 Travel 10 costs $17.60, even this policy.” and international students still exist. ing. though these students, like domestic This system is surprising in light of Under the new system, international students, are likely to be balancing low- the fact that introducing transport students still enjoy considerably differ- paying jobs with study. Essentially, be- concessions was listed as one of entiated treatment from their domestic cause the new discounts only apply to the immediate priorities in a 98- counterparts. The discounts on full fares certain passes, a five-minute bus ride page Industry Action Plan pre- only go up to 35%, as opposed to the from Railway Square to the University’s pared by the NSW Government’s half fare concession domestic students City Rd bus stop will still cost $2 for a International Education and Re- enjoy. Further, these discounts do not student who is not an Australian citizen search Task Force published last apply to regular bus or City Rail tickets or permanent resident. September. but only to the 90-day and annual My- Danial Johari, Social and Welfare Di- Education is Australia’s second Multi2 and MyMulti3 passes. Finally, rector of the New South Wales chapter largest services export sector and in order to take advantage of the dis- of the Malaysian Students’ Council of here in New South Wales, it is $6 Transportation is not so magical for count, international students have to cut Australia said that the initial announce- billion industry. The state has the high- international students through considerable red tape. Tickets

4 Trust me, I’ve tried to make it funny before. www.honisoit.com news A new News in menace on Revue Bro Reveleigh wrote this on opium campus All the rumours, hearsay, and downright slander from the HONI NEWS world of student politics and culture In Sydney’s West will Gillard Khan FREE Week Two Edition “THE WORST PART OF IT WASN’T LOSING HIM, IT WAS LOSING ME” A different kind of WASP is now Union gives you money Minister opined on his blog in Decem- Lose even in the safe Chifley? attending USYD, writes Tom O’Brien If you feel like your relationship with ber 2011. Pemberton debated the point, Where the Paramatta steamers ran the USU has become a one-way cash to which the Senator retorted, “Now Through urban sprawl measureless to man The opening lecture of the semester drain, your chance for revenge has ar- prove me wrong. I want to be proven Down to old Sydney. for GOVT2991: Political Analysis was rived. The Union has passed a motion wrong.” Carr was thus extended an in- thrown into turmoil last Wednesday, allowing candidates in USU elections to vitation to the show, and it appears, was So twice entrenched Khan holds her ground when a huge wasp terrorised a PNR claim a $500 bursary. The bursary will proven wrong. The Senator livetweeted With polls and pollies circling ‘round: lecture theatre. The wasp initially floated not have to be repaid. Candidates who the majority of the show from the front And there is Kevin bright with mirth, around harmlessly, but became trouble- contest the next Union elections, at row – much to the dismay of the rest of Touring to support...their office-bearing sure- some when it began swooping down which six places on the Board will be up the audience – and at one point com- ty; on students periodically, for shits and for election, will be able to receive the pared the death of Caesar to the fall of And here were electorates red as the earth, giggles. The class was forced to aban- strings-free funding by signing a statu- Victorian Premier Ted Baillieu. But that Now fading into bluish obscurity. don the theatre and move into seminar tory declaration confirming their inten- wasn’t all, Carr brought along Bob Ellis rooms for the remainder of the lecture. tion to spend the money exclusively on (apparently a close friend…), who was And oh! That lush romantic vine which grew Lecturer Assoc. Prof. Ariadne Vro- campaign materials. At the end of the so impressed that he wrote a review on From the pastured shores and stones of Syd- campaign they will have to account for his blog and saw the show again the next men told Honi Soit that the decision to ney harbour! this expenditure by showing their re- night. Oh, and Sydney theatre identity flee the theatre was made out ofcon- A savage place! As holy and unplanned ceipts. The measure is part of a cam- Kevin Jackson was also in attendance on As e’er beneath a wanning sun was tanned cern for both herself and her students: paign to encourage a greater diversity opening night. Jackson, too, reviewed Or Turnbull wailing for his demon-Labor! “Ever since a big spider dropped out of candidates to run for places on the the show on his popular blog, using And from this vine, with congested arteries of a tree on me at Moonlight Cinema Board. It is hoped that by helping candi- much of the review to admonish the in Centennial Park this summer I have a dates pay for the majority of their $700 University for not providing SUDS with bursting, new fear of very big bugs - and that was campaign spending cap, candidates from a better performance space. “The Cellar As if this plant in sheer frustration thirsting, the biggest wasp I have ever seen, and less wealthy backgrounds will be more Theatre is a disgrace that the adminis- Electoral polling began to sate the yearning: it looked intent on dive bombing some- inclined to undertake the potentially fi- tration should take urgent note of,” he Amid whose relentless half-intimated bursts one.” Vromen is currently an academic nancially crippling exercise. So, now all wrote. Hear, hear! Huge fragments vaulted like resounding staff-elected fellow on the University of you have to do is find a way to write-up bums, Or sticky snot between a child’s thumbs: Sydney Senate, and says she might take cocaine and alcohol as ‘campaign ex- SRC election And ‘mid these dancing tabloids at beckoned the issue of future wasp protocol to the penses’ and hand in your Union Board The first SRC meeting of 2013 was call next Senate meeting. nomination papers. But be warned: held last Wednesday to great acclaim. winners will be forced to serve on the Liberal representative Sam Murray, via The vine still choked not free to drink at all. The current whereabouts of the Board for two years. We’ll let you decide proxy, proposed a motion to limit SRC (And the Herald to become its pall.) wasp are unknown, and its move- whether the risk is worth it or not. campaigns to seven days, instead of the ments are worryingly unpredictable. current period of twelve days. The mo- ...[Interrupted.] Third Year Arts/Law student Alex- Minister for Livetweeting tion was seconded by Indie Cameron andra McPherson says she fears it Sydney University was paid an unex- Caccamo, who argued that long cam- A Daniel Lewis had his Day may return for the second lecture. pected visit by Bob Carr last Wednesday, paigns turn students off voting. Refer- In a television I saw: though this time it didn’t involve so- ring to this year’s overlap of the SRC and The pontiff ’s resignation made, cialists picketing a lecture theatre. Well Federal elections he added, “I urge you, And on his last day he prayed, – there was theatre, just no lecture or think of your own wellbeing”. Quite. Amid scandalous rumour. socialists. Senator Carr accepted an in- Perhaps to the dismay of all non-hack Could I revive within me vitation to SUDS’ production of Julius students on campus, the motion was His calls to climb the hill? Caesar following an exchange with direc- defeated in favour of a working group To such a deep delight ‘twould win me tor Nathaniel Pemberton on his theatre to determine the best way to make elec- That with music loud and long blog over a year ago. “A big tip: you nev- tions less awful. This year’s Honi Soit ed- I would dance atop Taylor Square, Get that thing away from me er, ever see amateur Shakespeare. That itorial team doesn’t care because we’ve is an offense against God,” the Foreign already been elected. That rainbow crossing! Those sassy queers! And all who heard should cheer them there, And all should cry, “They’re bare! They’re bare!”

UNI-VERSE The shadow of the cabinet spectre Floated midway on the Baillieu; So too was heard a voice defector, Adam Chalmers’ article about UQ is QI For Simpson and his donkey’s dues. An HIV cure gave a functional answer. This year, the University of ABC National Radio last week. to in-depth substantial analysis.” All that remains: who gave Chavez cancer? Queensland chose to celebrate Interna- While the gender studies major will be National Union of Students educa- tional Women’s Day by cutting its gen- discontinued, individual units focused tion officer Clare Keyes-Liley told Honi Excessive force! Brutality! der studies major from the faculty of on gender studies will still exist within Soit UQ’s decision was “detrimental to All who’ve seen the clips did stare, Arts. other disciplines such as philosophy the future of tertiary education in Aus- And most did cry, Unjust! Unfair! Gender studies staff have been vo- and sociology. University administrators tralia,” and was “indicative of society’s Their flashing eyes, their floating hair! cally opposed since the university an- described this as the “triumph of gen- misogyny and sexism.” Around them weave a circled suite, nounced its intentions on March 1. der studies,” insofar as the subject was The University of Queensland gender All eyes affixed on finding truth: “We’ve had a huge outpouring of sup- now mainstream enough to enter other studies major has been offered for 41 How blunt the bluish chequered tooth port from students currently enrolled disciplines. Professor Ferrier told ABC years. Students wishing to study gender That bloodied the boy of Oxford Street? in the course, and... students who have National Radio it was “funny how con- studies will now have to go interstate to enrolled in past years,” said senior gen- servatives can turn it around,” and that obtain their major. der studies professor, Carole Ferrier to dissolving the major was an “alternative @adamchal

Trust me, I’ve tried to make it funny before. The more you try, the harder it gets. Is that a paradox? 5 news @honi_soit OPINION A tainted A protest, on the protest strike Nick Richardson says stay in school The actions of a few can colour the majority’s, writes Drew Rooke It is Thursday, about 1pm, and I am surprisingly interesting reading. The The conflation of small-ticket issues Supporting job security, sick leave sitting in Fisher Library. It is not unlike NTEU called for the strike in objection with big-ticket issues by those striking and decent salaries for the University how Fisher has been over the last couple to the Enterprise Bargaining Agreement demands our scrutiny and condemna- of Sydney staff – last Thursday’s strike of days – the usual first week of semes- (EBA) proposed by University man- tion. The latter have the potential to le- ter lull. On the other side of campus a could not have been more justified. It agement. Most notably, the new EBA gitimately affect the quality of education was an expression of collective action by group of about 200 is congregated, a includes the removal of restrictions on now and in the future. The former are staff and students alike that university mix of University staff, some students casual employment, the abolition of the the over-the-top demands of self-inter- management could not steam roll those in support, and some curious onlookers. 40-40-20 workload model, and the abo- ested brats desperately trying to cling on that keep this invaluable institution The sun is beating down: ‘Spence makes lition of work hours restrictions (basi- to benefits they should never have been alive. no sense’ placards and Green Left Weeklys cally meaning the length of the working given in the first place. No major incidents occurred during have been raised to block it out. Many week is uncapped). However, even if the strike were only the strike and many participants students on campus are going about These are ‘big-ticket issues’. It is un- based on the big-ticket issues, the act of successfully and respectfully convinced their business, not really giving a fuck. derstandable that the NTEU is upset striking in itself remains ethically du- those trying to enter the university that But I give a fuck. My classes were can- about them. It is difficult to expect aca- bious. With universities’ high focus on the rights of staff were more important celled today and apparently my educa- demics to be able to give the amount research, it would be more effective for than that two hour lecture that was tion is the National Tertiary Education of time required to properly teach us the staff upset with the EBA to place timetabled. Such a sight was promising. Union’s (NTEU’s) to sacrifice at their if their workload is almost completely a moratorium on research output until Yet, despite such respect and maturity will. While I do not completely disagree uncapped. Then there are ‘small-ticket their concerns are addressed. This does showed, others brought an unnecessary with some of the NTEU’s grievances, issues’: the reduction of sick leave en- not affect the students who have done and immature militancy along with their banners, flags and, picket cards. Shouts we should, at the very least, question titlements from 50 days to 20, and the nothing wrong and have paid a lot of of ‘scab’ and ‘scum’ to those ignoring the ethics of a group of individuals who unbounding of superannuation benefits money for a premium education. This the strike became the soundtrack of the believe that the education we are paying (which sat at 17% under the previous strike demonstrates an academic class day at City Road. Anyone who ‘broke for belongs to them. Even symbolically, EBA). whose unwillingness to compromise the picket line’ was labelled such and it is significant that it is students who are Somebody has to say it: demanding mandated the sacrifice of our education I realised that I was not exempt from the bargaining chip in the negotiation 50 days of sick leave a year is obscene. for their own ends. That further strikes such calls even though I was a supporter process between the University and its There are very few professions any- have not been ruled out confirms this. It of the strike, simply walking through staff. where that get 50 days of sick leave. The is ethically wrong that our class time is to take a photo. To inquire politely if a It has been repeated ad nauseum, but amount mandated by law is 10 and the sacrificed for a superannuation package. person knows what the strike is about is the particulars of the strike make for University’s proposal is double that. sensible; to shout such offences blatantly at anyone walking through, absurd and counter-productive. The most concerning sight was at The politics of skipping class the City Road vehicle entrance to the Sean O’Grady will see you at Hermann’s university when a cyclist tried to enter Students miss lectures and tutes. One and was blockaded. Attempting a detour need only compare a lecture hall in through the gate’s pedestrian entrance, Week 1 and Week 10 to know that this is he was mobbed by protesters, had his hat fact. Not every student does, but many thrown off his head and his bike lifted do. Yet academics appear constantly, and shaken. No matter what the cause, ready to teach, and students rarely of- these actions are entirely unjustified and fer an excuse or an apology. Some have border on assault and impeding freedom legitimate reasons, others just can’t be of movement. These militant protest bothered. I am guilty of both, but most methods are counter-productive to the often the latter. cause. University management is given The most frequent objection I heard ammunition to use against the strike from my fellow students since the and students, or public citizens for that NTEU and CPSU announced a strike, matter, without a strong involvement following a failure to agree with the Uni- in it will never empathise. In their eyes, versity over the re-negotiation of the the victims are those ignoring the strike, Enterprise Bargaining Agreement, was when the real victims in this situation are that they did not want the action to hap- the staff of the University of Sydney. pen at the expense of their education. In light of the fact that many of these The actions of a mere few were tainting. While it was the minority, responsibility students would happily skip class, their Photo: Stella Ktenas objections seem slightly hypocritical. falls on us to discourage such ineffective we rely on the academics to give it to us. paper, on Facebook, Twitter, and in the The obvious response is that we pay to and hypocritical methods. If they are unsatisfied, then we should offices of your Students’ Representative attend class, while the lecturers are paid We should all stand strong with the be, too. If they want to strike for their Council. There are also (slightly) better to attend it. The argument that they are threatened staff of our university. Jobs, rights, think about all the classes you arguments against the Strike than the paid, that they receive some benefits, and the lives, of those that provide us skip for no good reason, then evaluate one I responded to. They are still wrong does not mean they have all the money with an education unfounded anywhere their reasons. Use the critical reasoning though. or benefits that they ought to. else are at risk. This is the primary issue they have taught you. If we want the quality of education we at stake. But let’s support this cause There are other more important justifi- have come to expect, we need to under- maturely and sensibly. Only then will we cations of the strike than the one above. stand that we as students are not solely make progress. They can be found in the pages of this responsible for our education, but that @sean_ogrady1

6 I tried to write a comedic play about erectile dysfunction once, but it wouldn’t stand up. www.honisoit.com news Justice cannot exist in a police state OPINION Jamie Jackson’s arrest only sparked the ‘Snap Action’ campaign, writes Evan Van Zijl

In 1978, the first Mardi Gras was a fence misses the point of the commu- crowd of 2000 gays, lesbians, bisexuals, nity outrage and the campaign that has trans*persons, sex workers and allies developed. marched to protest housing, health and This campaign and protest is not police abuse problems amongst other just about Jamie Jackson or even the issues in the LGBTI community. After poor behaviour of the police force in this show of force, 53 people were ar- the recent Mardi Gras period, these are rested by the police and outed publicly, merely the straws that broke the camel’s with many of the march reporting mis- back. There is a structural issue with the treatment over the years before and af- police force and it is imperative that, for ter the protest. as long as the police force and the prison “I am a 78’er and a heterosexual complex exists, that we find methods to woman with a trans past who has hold police to account and bring them suffered violence on many occasions to justice. from the police at both Kings Cross In New Matilda, David Shoebridge and Surry Hills police,” said one of the Photo: Jennifer Yiu of the Greens proposed a completely attendees of the original Mardi Gras. searched, women’s clothing was cen- and a strong demand for an end to po- independent body to investigate police “One time they made me get down on sored and a number were outright lice violence. misconduct – an idea which is currently the floor and eat a sausage like a dog beaten. Alex Greenwich, independent Solidarity actions were also held enacted in the United Kingdom but has plus had to bark like one when I was to, MP for Sydney, and ACON have both internationally, with one colourful ex- little support amongst the pro-police or wear the cops’ batons.” received numerous complaints and Bryn ample being the ‘glitter bombing’ of the MPs of the LNP and ALP. It is mea- While we are less bold in admitting Hutchinson has recently come out to Australian Embassy by the New Zea- sures like these that are necessary to them, these issues of police brutality the media as a victim of police brutality. land Queer Avengers, the same activist ensure some justice in a system where are once more visible in our community. People everywhere have taken notice, group who ‘glitter bombed’ the trans- the police, who despite incidences of While Mardi Gras has become a after a recording of Jamie Jackson’s phobic Germaine Greer. death, electrocution, beatings and verbal corporate celebration, that makes $30 brutal arrest went viral, and their Many conservatives have come out intimidation have never once been suc- 000 000 for the state that it once con- distress escalated into a mass action or- in support of the police over the course cessfully charged after incidences. tested, the issues of police brutality ganised by Community Action Against of the campaign, trying to invalidate have been recognised to be an ongoing Homophobia this recent Friday. 2000 criticism of the police by accusing Jamie Evan was one of the organisers for this problem. people marched from Taylor Square to Jackson of being violent. While eye week’s ‘Snap Action’ protest In this year’s Mardi Gras period, the Surry Hills police station, carrying witnesses allege the accusations against . countless people were needlessly strip giant rainbows, banners and placards Jamie are not entirely true, such a de-

NETIQUETTE Matt Clarke investigate the internet phenomenon that’s as funny as cancer.

Forget the pokies, predicting celebri- from clearly having no moral scruples, Honi’s picks for 2013 ties’ deaths is apparently the new pre- the people who run these sites also seem ferred form of gambling. The official disturbingly lax when it comes to safety Hugo Chavez term for this is a ‘dead pool,’ which may measures. On stiffs.com for example, the or may not be the most upsetting phrase number four rule (yes, number FOUR) you come across this week. The concept is: “you can’t kill anybody, or even try to South Korea is this: every player creates a list of ce- scare them or make them sick or any- lebrities they think will die in the next thing.” Because that would just be un- year, and come December 31, whoever sportsmanlike, right? The other strange has the most picks (hits?) wins. If you element is the ‘celebrity’ rule – you see The Honours Year think that sounds like a tasteless concept you only get points if the person who that only the creepiest of lowlifes would dies is a genuine celebrity. So for ex- take part in, then you’d be correct. But ample, Lindsay Lohan would count, The Federal Labor Party where do most creepy lowlifes take ref- but the redhead from Bardot definitely uge? That’s right, the internet. Dead wouldn’t. This all sounds very strange, pools are bizarrely common online, be- but for some people it’s a serious busi- Italian Democracy ing hosted by charmingly named sites ness, with serious money to be made. such as stiffs.com, cash4cadavers. In fact some pools offer up com and flymetothe- to $3000 for a first place Bonus multipick! Berlusconi during a bunga- tomb.com These sites finish. Where that are filled with people money comes from bunga party whose highlight I have no idea. in life would be With the stakes correctly predict- so high though, ing the year that let’s just say, I Betty White finally wouldn’t want to shuffles off this be Betty White. mortal coil. Apart

It was about a man who could talk with his penis. They would argue like drunk French artists over the merits of beauty. 7 news @honi_soit

Fiction, capitalism, and being a winner OPINION Caitlin Still on the sporting myth It only took one impromptu, A4-sized his admission on Oprah, to an audience italist paradigm, is measured ultimately sign for Manly Library to make world of millions, that for the length of his by how often and how much you win. news last month. Days after the dop- career he has owed his success to per- It’s a world of winners and losers, and in ing scandal that disgraced one of the formance-enhancing drugs. “It was this the contest for limited resources such as world’s most worshipped sporting he- mythic, perfect story. And it just wasn’t money and status, it’s what you do, not roes, the sign read: true,” he said of his high-flying career. how you do it, that counts in the end. “ALL NON-FICTION LANCE Armstrong’s description of his public Unless, of course, one gets caught doing ARMSTRONG BOOKS INCLUD- career as ‘mythic’ is an apt one. Mythic, something illegal. Mining giants and oth- ING: Lance Armstrong, Images of a Cham- because it inspired an almost-religious er tax-evaders should know. Armstrong pion, The Lance Armstrong Performance devotion in so many of his admirers. In- may have sacrificed his integrity as an Program, and Lance Armstrong, Images of deed, there have been few sporting he- athlete to win, but the legendary status a Champion, WILL SOON BE MOVED roes so deified as Armstrong, with a cult with which he was rewarded meant that TO THE FICTION SECTION. to follow him accordingly. The gospels integrity could always be fabricated later. THANK YOU, MANLY LIBRARY.” according to his biographers may be He almost got away with it, too. The sign, complete with a smiley face safe in the non-fiction section of Manly Following revelations of widespread at the end, was soon revealed to be a Library, but in light of his confessions doping and links to organised crime in prank pulled by a Saturday casual go- to drug cheating, bullying and deceit, the Australian sport, it seems that a whole ing about general duties. It did not take myth of Lance Armstrong is left with cabal of athletic angels is set to fall from long for his superiors to point out that about as much of a leg to stand on as the heights of the Australian sporting Dianetics. myth. Revealing the dark side of the fairness and mutual respect get fairly As long as professional sport In the words of Eric Hobsbawm, “whatever it takes” mentality, a report short shrift amongst some of our most is about winning, the cheat- “history is written by the winners,” and by the Australian Crime Commission re- respected citizens. As long as profes- Armstrong had done enough winning to leased at the beginning of February has ing will continue. sional sport is about winning, the cheat- perpetuate his own myth until the day he revealed that the use of performance- ing will continue. After all, we’re talking died, or so it seemed. I am not the first to enhancing drugs is commonplace and about athletes, not moral philosophers. librarians are not at liberty to re-classify compare professional sport with capital- that ties with criminal organisations Their job is ultimately to win. One won- books according to current affairs. Re- ist society at large. In both instances, the have even resulted in match fixing. In ders what happened to good sports like gardless, the prank hit the nail of real- competition for limited resources leads the words of Richard Ings, ex-chairman our Don Bradman. ity on the head. The Lance Armstrong, to a hierarchical culture of winners and of ASADA, Australia’s anti-doping To their credit, however, many of seven-time Tour de France champion, losers. If one desires to scale the socio- commission, the release of the report these celebrated sportspeople would smugly smiling on our televisions lauded economic ladder or ascend in the table marked “the blackest day in Australian make excellent fiction writers. And god the world over. He was a cancer survi- of international rankings, it’s the end sport.” knows that few things are more valuable vor, humanitarian, and family man but that produces results, not the means. Despite the ethos of Australian sport- to society than a well-crafted story. has now turned out to be less a man Put another way, a successful career in ing culture, priding itself on values of than a fabrication. Early in January came professional sport, as it is under the cap- ‘mateship’ and a ‘fair go’, it seems that

TOP 5... Disney songs to have kinky heteronormative sex to Rafi Alam knows good sex when he hears it

5 Kiss the Girl Perhaps a bit vanilla, what with the romantic overtones and such, but deep down a profoundly kinky song. You don’t just kiss the girl, you kiss her surrounded by dozens of voyeuristic sea creatures egging you on, as if it were a college party. And when the male character says “you know I feel really bad not knowing your name,” you realise you’re in bed with a complete stranger, and you realise how hot it is you picked them up on the side of the road, not knowing who they are, what they do, or what they are capable of doing. Sure, the Afro-Carribean beats and moonlit vibes set the mood, but the danger of the unknown is the real kicker.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious When the government authority responsible for roadworks in Saskatchewan ignored the worsening potholes in High- 4 way 32, residents of a neighbouring town, Leader, logically decided a nude calendar was in order. The calendar featured twelve locals each photographed in their birthday suits next to particularly noteworthy examples of the potholes. You may laugh, but the calendar made roughly $40 000, and shortly after its release in 2007, the provincial government committed itself to a big-budget highway renovation project. Ball’s in your court, people who complain about CityRail.

I Just Can’t Wait To Be King This song is perfect for those times you just want to sub/dom each other. When you’re transitioning the swap between top 3 and bottom, make sure you play this song to know who’s who! While Simba is going on about how much he wants to be king, Zazu is putting him down at every chance. This traumatic relationship will make sure the new king of the bed will have no qualms about going all the way! Thankfully the song is backed by a playful tune to ensure no participant is reminded of the emotional wreckage Mufasa’s death leads to in the new king.

A Whole New World Some say this song only applies to losing ones virginity. There is an argument for this – a sense of sublime is entrenched in the pro- 2 gression of the melody and the explorative lyrics, a sublime lost after years of fucking. But have no fear! Even the veterans amongst you can spice up your sex life with this song, while engaging in culturally appropriative role-playing. Pro-tip: wear the outfits. Also, you may be tempted to orgasm at the infamous ‘squawk’, but then you miss out on whispering the lines “don’t you dare close your eyes” and “hold your breath, it gets better.” A song full of options.

Hakuna Matata Hakuna Matata is the non-wanker “#yolo” from the 90s. No worries i.e. no regrets! Just have fun, have sex, and enjoy the ride with your 1 best friend Pumba, the disgusting fat warthog. Forget about consequences, because who needs them? Is the person you’re with ugly as fuck? All good! This is the kind of song that can bring you out of the hole of despair caused by the belief you just killed your father, so it’ll definitely help you overcome the feelings of guilt caused by having sex with your professor in the backseat of your mother’s car.

8 I got writer’s block though; nothing would pop up. That was a real ball breaker. www.honisoit.com news

Fare play BITING THE INVISIBLE HAND Harry Stratton digs the cheaper option Will fare evasion and copping the perfect sense occasional fine save you money in the On trains, the situation’s a little more long run? As with most economic ques- complicated. CityRail estimates that one decent chance of making their salary get away with it. Also – because they’re tions, the answer is that it depends. in 42 fare evaders will be fined, and the back by (a) catching enough fare dodg- understandably aggrieved about failing Because of the automated ticketing on-the-spot fine is again $200, so the ers or (b) scaring enough bystanders the IQ test to become proper cops – system, it’s pretty hard to get onto ‘price’ of fare evasion on the average into paying their fares. This means that transit officers are more likely to target State Transit Authority buses without train journey works out to be a hefty on low-traffic trains running at off-peak passengers they don’t like or who their some kind of ticket. Once you’re on $4.76. The highest CityRail concession times, particularly weekends or late at prejudices make them think are more board, though, enforcement becomes a fare, on the other hand, is $4.20, and if night (when transits officers get paid likely to evade fares. Wearing a tie to massive joke. The STA estimates it only you’ve invested in a MyMulti or aren’t penalty rates), the odd of being fined are uni or browsing The Collected Works of catches 0.6% of fare evaders, and the travelling from Wollongong to New- agreeably low. Jane Austen on the train might make on-the-spot fine for fare evasion is $200, castle your actual fare is even less, so The incentives for transit officers are your friends think you’re a wanker, but so the average “price” of fare evasion is fare evasion costs the average free rider even more in your favour. A substan- apparently that’s how CityRail thinks law $1.20 – 10c more than the cost of really more than just buying a ticket. tial proportion of those who are fined abiding citizens behave. short trips, but significantly less than A little economics makes it easy to for fare evasion also receive fines for If, however, you’re like me, and the a ticket price for anything longer than avoid being the average fare dodger, something more obvious and higher on mere thought of being caught without from Uni to Town Hall. If you’re willing though. The NSW government uses a transit cop’s priority list, like putting a ticket fills you with irrational terror, to get shouted off the occasional bus by transit fines as more or less blatant rev- their feet on seats, vandalism or offen- fare dodging isn’t for you. And neither a driver who hasn’t seen you dip your enue raising, and so only sends transit sive behaviour. If you’re a well-behaved is economics, probably. ticket, outright fare evasion thus makes officers to check trains when there’s a fare dodger, you’re much more likely to

Don’t be a square CRITIQUE John Gooding is not impressed

Late last year gaming studio 22cans you bother with this extremely monoto- released Curiosity: What’s Inside the Cube? nous mission, you ask? Because, as the and changed the world forever. It is introduction claims, “something amaz- both a brutal and unfailing testament to ing is hidden at the centre of the cube the horrific machinations that prop up … but only one person will find out our society, and possibly the worst game what’s inside.” that has been and ever will be created. I heartily recommend you download The basic gist is that there is a gigantic Curiosity, play for five seconds and then cube floating in front of you, the- sur immediately uninstall so you can grasp faces of which comprise millions of tiny at least some of the horror I’m attempt- stroyed since its release. enough, regardless of social or econom- squares. You and anyone else playing the ing to convey. This sheer popularity belies a darker ic standing. According to the Curiosity game at the time can destroy a square It wouldn’t be so bad if it flopped. tale. 22cans prefer to call Curiosity an ex- statistics (which, amazingly, you have to by tapping it. Every time you do so you Sure, the developers seemingly possess periment rather than a game. Perhaps pay to see) the number of users is de- get coins, which can be spent on things a general contempt for humanity, but Curiosity is purposefully shit. Perhaps clining dramatically. People are rapidly which help you destroy squares faster. terrible games are made every day. Most the point is to see whether a dubious giving up the dream in-game. How long If you wish, you can spend real dollars are only ever seen again in five dollar promise of life-changing happiness for before they do so IRL? to download tools which also help you bargain bins. No, the really frustrating one lucky individual is enough to moti- destroy squares faster. Your goal is to part about the Curiosity saga is how many vate hundreds of thousands of people remove all of the cube’s layers, which at people play it. It’s been downloaded to endlessly tap a screen. The basic tenet @JohnMGooding the time of writing had not been num- over 500 000 times for Android devices of the American dream is that anyone bered by game developers. Why should alone, and over 200 layers have been de- can succeed in society if they work hard

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Apparently there is already a musical about the same thing though 9 science @honi_soit Baby cured of HIV for first time Fukushima

Felicity Nelson gives us a story to accompany this amazing picture The news of a baby girl cured of HIV fallout hit headlines across the world this week when researchers at the Conference on Retroviruses and Opportunistic Infec- minimal tions in Atlanta announced that a baby Mischa Vickas enjoys a healthy born with the infection no longer has dose of radiation any trace of the virus in her system. A World Health Organisation (WHO) In America women are routinely test- assessment into the 2011 Fukushima ed for HIV during pregnancy and pre- Daiichi nuclear disaster has concluded scribed medication to reduce the risk of that only small increases in cancer are passing the virus on to their children. expected amongst populations exposed Antiretroviral therapy during preg- to even the highest radiation doses: “… nancy can reduce transmission of HIV even in locations within Fukushima during gestation, birth or breastfeeding prefecture, the predicted risks remain from 45% to around 2%. low and no observable increases in can- In this case the mother arrived at the cer above natural variation in baseline rural emergency room in Mississippi in rates are anticipated,” the report states. advanced labour having never taken an On 11 March 2011, the Fukushima HIV test. When the results came back Daiichi power plant survived a magni- positive the hospital quickly referred ment but instead of the virus resurg- and, even if the results of this particu- tude 9.0 earthquake off the coast of the patient to Dr. Hannah Gay, a pe- ing, as would be expected, Dr. Gay did lar treatment are repeatable with other Japan, but three of its reactors were in- diatric HIV expert at the University of not detect any HIV in the child’s blood. newborns, in poorer parts of the world undated by the 15-metre tsunami that Mississippi, who took this to be a high- More sensitive testing confirmed the a triple dose of drugs immediately after followed. risk case and immediately prescribed an results. birth is often economically unfeasible. The reactors went into meltdown, but unusually aggressive drug regime in the Researchers studying this case believe More than 90% of the 400 000 children no individual died or suffered radiation hope that it would give the baby girl the that the timing of the treatment was the born with HIV live in sub-Saharan Af- sickness as a result of the nuclear acci- best chance of escaping life-long infec- crucial factor in the cure. Most doctors rica. dent. Over 100 000 people were evacu- tion. wait for HIV tests to come back from Of the 33 million people worldwide ated from surrounding regions. Within 31 hours the baby was given the lab before prescribing a course of infected with HIV only two have ever Those in the most affected areas re- a high dose of three different antiret- antiretroviral drugs but in this instance been functionally cured of the disease. ceived about 10 times the dose of ra- roviral drugs. After 29 days the levels the doctor decided to administer the The only other person is Timothy Ray diation that most people receive in a of HIV was so low that normal testing treatment before knowing the results. Brown from San Francisco who has not year, or the equivalent of about two could not detect the virus. Normally a The combination of three strong needed to take any medication since full-body X-ray scans. child would need to continue this treat- drugs given at precisely the right time he received a bone marrow transplant One of the WHO’s findings was that ment for the rest of their life. In this is thought to have prevented the virus from a donor with a natural resistance female infants in the most affected ar- case the mother stopped treating her from settling into “reservoirs” (hiding to HIV. For AIDS victims worldwide eas may experience a relative increase in child after 18 months. Dr. Gay was places where the virus reside until treat- this miracle baby offers some hope thyroid cancer risk of 70% over their compelled to contact child-protection ment is halted). but the case also demonstrates how far lifetimes. This may sound alarming, services to make the mother return However, researchers are cautious we still have to go in the fight against but the overall lifetime risk is normally to the clinic. Five months had passed to draw any conclusions. The Missis- AIDS. about 0.75%, so a female child exposed without the child receiving any treat- sippi baby may be an exceptional case to this level of radiation will experience an overall risk increase of 0.05%. But reassurance comes particularly to Krokodil the emergency workers at the nuclear DA FUQ? plant who took the brunt of radiation. Don’t worry, Sean O’Grady hasn’t done it For this group, the overall increased There are few people in the world dicts make the drug from painkillers I initially intended this piece to be risk for most cancers was found to be who would consider Heroin a gateway with Codeine in them, Industrial clean- funny. It was meant to be a humorous about 0.1%. drug. It is incredibly addictive, linked to ing solvents, iodine and miscellaneous exploration of the weird and wacky in Although cancer risk was addressed, crime and poverty, and exposes you to chemicals, all legally purchased. They the world, the substances and behav- the psychological impact of the disas- diseases transmitted by sharing needles. are then combined in a home cook that iours that lead us to ask the question ter was beyond the scope of the as- It is, in the eyes of anyone who has after about an half an hour leaves them ‘what the fuck?’ But writing this article sessment and the 47 international ex- watched The Wire, a sign that you have with a sludge similiar, in appearance, to I realised the actual question is ‘why the perts who put it together. “As with the hit rock bottom, and have very little Caramel. It is then injected into what- fuck?’ Why the fuck has poverty and Chernobyl accident, the psychological chance of making it back. ever usable vein they can find. drug abuse in Russia been allowed to impact of the Fukushima accident may In Russia, a country with an estimat- A cursory search of Google will tell go so far? Why the fuck has the Russian outweigh other health consequences,” ed two million Heroin users, Heroin ad- you that the drug is named Krokodil Government failed to provide adequate the report admits. dicts are not scraping the bottom of the because of the scale like appearance education, healthcare and rehabilita- Further afield, concern about the proverbial barrel. There is another step of the skin that occurs after prolonged tion? But that’s a political economy es- safety of nuclear energy has seen Ger- to go: Krokodil. use. When you watch Vice Magazine’s say and not an article. many start to phase out nuclear power. Krokodil is what you turn to when documentary on the drug and peruse I will finish with this thought. In the A similar move by Japan itself has re- you are out of money. When you Google Images, you will see that this Vice documentary an addict says with sulted in energy shortages and an in- haven’t been able to beg, salvage or doesn’t do it justice. A more apt de- fatalistic certainty that he will be dead creased dependence on imported oil steal enough money for Heroin. Think: scription might be ‘zombie’. Skin and within weeks, and then puts another and gas. Jesse cooking Crystal Meth before he muscle become necrotic and eventually needle of the caramel sludge into his met Walt in the first season of Breaking fall off the bone. Addicts apparently arm. What the actual fuck? Bad, but a thousand times worse. Ad- feel no pain.

10 It’s called “Me and My Dick.” Guess which character wears a pink beanie? www.honisoit.com feature

The Guardian has been one of the few newspapers to make a successful transition from daily paper to online news source. Madeleine King asks whether the British giant will help or harm the frail Australian media scene. enore Taylor, chief political ers; the problem is finding ways to their spending with changing patterns and the philanthropist investor Graeme correspondent at The Herald, sell those audiences to advertisers,” he in media consumption.” Woods. L is going. So are Paul Chad- says. “People who read newspaper ar- Amanda Wilson, former editor The Added to this is the already vast wick, former head of editorial policies ticles online often drop in accidentally Sydney Morning Herald, confirms this in amount of paid content kept in place at the ABC, and Katharine Murphy, The to those articles, read them and move the foreword to Speed of Bytes. “So by UK writers ready for publication Age’s national affairs correspondent. on.” far,” she writes, “digital revenues have here. David McKnight believes a key Having signed some of the bigger It is for this reason that the Speed not reproduced the profits of the big- motivation to come to Australia is that names in Australian journalism, you of Bytes report (of which McKnight ger, trusted, print brands, which would it would, in fact, cost them compara- could be forgiven for thinking that is a co-auther) found that, “even news- make this kind of [online] journalism tively little to expand operations with a when The Guardian launches its digital- paper publishers estimate that if print possible.” small group of local reporters. only Australian edition later this year, it readers are worth $1 per head to pub- In this already fiscally constrained “Whatever extra readers they can get would be destined for unmitigated suc- lishers, digital readers are worth 10 environment, The Guardian could prove in Australia would be pure cream,” he cess. cents or less.” a dangerous competitor for all digital says. Yet the Australian media landscape in publications. Having just gone ‘digital “It must make sense for them to general has proven poisonous, and it is An additional, independ- first’, it’s bad news for Fairfax. Equally spend a little bit in order to gain a bit uncertain whether The Guardian will be ent news provider would so for independent websites such as more. Mainly through being able to an effective antidote. New Matilda, The Conversation, The Punch, convince their advertisers that there is Findings from the report ‘Journal- be somewhat of a tonic to Graeme Woods’ own The Global Mail a significant increase in their audience.” ism at the Speed of Bytes’—published Australia’s highly concen- (Woods is one of the backers of The Andrew Millar states a nobler reason last year in collaboration between the trated, monopolistic media Guardian Australia) and Crikey. The for the expansion: “we see a gap in the University of Sydney, UNSW and The landscape in which News small reach and advertising pull of market for a progressive, open and in- Walkley Foundation—suggest The these sites may leave them particularly dependent voice such as ours.” Guardian’s new digital venture in Aus- Ltd publications tend to vulnerable. An additional, independent news tralia may not find the fertile southern dominate. Local mainstream and independent provider would be somewhat of a land it seeks. media groups, however, boast one ma- tonic to Australia’s highly concentrat- “There is yet to be any evidence that The report quotes a 2010 Pew Cen- jor advantage: their historically built ed, monopolistic media landscape in online news, whether consumed via tre (US) study which found the average readerships. which News Ltd publications tend to computer, tablet or mobile platforms, is online reader spends only 3.4 minutes “Fairfax, the ABC and News Ltd all dominate. Both Martin and McKnight generating sufficient revenue to pay for per session on a news site. Traditional have very strong audience loyalty built, stress The Guardian’s presence would be its own content,” the report says. newspaper readers can spend up to 30 in some cases, over a hundred years,” beneficial to diversity. On top of this, Authors of the report Penny minutes with their print editions. says Fiona Martin, an academic special- The Guardian may be left to fill the free- O’Donnell, David McKnight, and Jona- The established popularity of The ising in online media at the University media gap once Fairfax and News Ltd thon Este conducted in-depth inter- Guardian’s website, next to the infant of Sydney. are forced to retreat completely behind views with 100 newspaper journalists online strategies of mainstream Aus- David McKnight agrees that while paywalls. and news executives from the 12 na- tralian media, may give it the edge with The Guardian has the potential to attract With the Sydney Morning Herald down- tional and metropolitan daily newspa- potential advertisers. However, even a lot of advertising, it won’t dominate sizing to a new compact (but not ‘tab- pers. Industry experts and academics the UK outfit will admit a thriving re- the market in which The Sydney Morning loid’, we are assured) size just weeks were also consulted. lationship with online advertisers is not Herald, The Australian, and The Austra- ago, the changes occurring in the Aus- “Only 14 percent of respondents the solution to the profit-return prob- lian Financial Review have established tralian media have never been more declared their full confidence in online lem. their reputations. manifest. Press junkies must now sit journalism,” noted the report. “Slightly “Digital advertising is not yet able Yet for all the challenges facing the back and hope the online domain be- more (17 per cent) were reluctant to to fill the substantial gap between any UK outfit, it also has a number of huge comes profitable, the newspaper - for pass judgment, saying digital journalism paywall revenues and the cost of the advantages. mat remains affordable, and the injec- has yet to establish itself in Australia.” operation,” writes Andrew Millar of Importantly, money: from both The tion of The Guardian brings a new life to And this is where The Guardian comes the Guardian Media Group on The Scott Trust, an investment and funds the sometimes moribund sector. And in, with the third largest online newspa- Economist Group website. “Advertis- pool worth around £250 000 a year while the sector gets back on its feet? per presence—almost 39 million unique ing agencies have not yet fully aligned that backs the Guardian Media Group, Well, there’s always Honi Soit. visitors, behind The New York Times and The Mail Online—in the world, and 1.3 million Australian readers. While such figures are laudable, one question remains: will The Guardian’s on- line savvy succeed in an Australian mar- ket leaking revenue at the seams? Winning the digital media battle is about more than securing good read- ership numbers, says David McKnight from the University of New South Wales’ Journalism and Media Research Centre. “The problem is not having read-

“Me and My Dick” is a pretty broad title. It could be about a dog and his owner who “lifts” and then posts progress photos when its his legs day. 11 ARTS &

FIRST PERSON CULTURE why I march Lucy Watson still gets into the Gay Christmas spirit

get harassed by strangers almost thanked, for braving every other day. I participated in Mardi Gras for the afternoon from Market St, a crowd of every day. People stare as I walk *** first time last year. It rained most of the tourists parted, flanking me on either I past, dressed in men’s clothing. I grew up in a small coastal town night, as per Fred Nile’s annual wish. side, taking photos from all angles. Peo- Drunk men shout dyke after me on where lesbians don’t exist. The sexual- City skyscrapers turned College and Ox- ple asked me to pose for photos, specta- the street, sober men tell me I need to ity spectrum was not so much a rainbow ford streets into giant wind tunnels, as if tors screamed from the sidewalks, beck- try some cock, every intelligent person as a monotonously clear northern New the city was designed with the sole in- oning me like I was Justin Bieber and ever groans at how clever their remarks South Wales sky. When federal MPs tention of messing up all carefully styled they were True Beliebers. It felt strange, are. Others try to be nice: “So that’s were asked to canvas their electorates hairdos. There were more erect nipples being celebrated for being myself - albeit why you cut your hair”, or my favou- for opinions on marriage equality, five and undescended testicles in that 400m myself in sequinned gold booty shorts. rite disclaimer, “I’m not homophobic, I people wrote to my MP. Five. And two radius than the rest of Australia com- *** have heaps of gay friends”. When I’m of them had written to say the issue was bined. And yet, no one cared. Those to They call Mardi Gras Gay Christmas, walking down the street and a car horn irrelevant. Yes, people actually bothered my right were hula hooping constantly and the analogy works pretty well. Like blares, it’s always followed by the same to compose that letter: “Dear Sir, this while, ahead, a team of male marchers its December cousin, it’s way too cor- remarks and gestures I’ve endured a mil- issue is bullshit. Who cares about gays. practiced their dance to a 30 second porate and seems all too forgetful of lion times. I’ve grown to ignore them. Why don’t you fix my highway and low- clip of Vanessa Amorosi’s ‘Absolutely its true origins. Mardi Gras has a fight- I’ve become used to the fact that being er my taxes instead.” Fair enough, why Everybody’ - over, and over, and over ing past, and this year, on its 35th an- out, in a visible and unambiguous way, would you care about gays when there again, until ‘Absolutely Everybody’ was niversary, it felt like 1978 again, with means daily verbal harassment. So when are none around and there’s a pothole scarred into my brain for the first time horrible acts of police brutality echoing that horn blares I brace myself, grit my on the highway? since Sydney 2000. To fight the cold and times past. But with the bad comes the teeth, and attempt to turn my ears off. I couldn’t wait to get out and move to the (rainy) wet, friends were engaging in good, and like Christmas, the excitement But not on Mardi Gras. Sydney; for Oxford St, for Newtown, a three-way make out under an umbrella. of Mardi Gras is cheesy but irresistible. Mardi Gras is the one day of the year a for Mardi Gras. In high school I would On my left were a group of spectators, Not even those potholes could wipe the car horn doesn’t cause my heart to sink. take a train for 7 hours to visit gay Mec- cheering even though the parade hadn’t smile off my face on that first Saturday The one day derogatory drunken shouts ca for the weekend. I knew I’d found my started yet. in March. are replaced by salutations from strang- place, and it was 500km down the track. I felt like a celebrity. As I approached ers. It’s the one day I am celebrated, even *** the Hyde Park marshalling area in the Photo: Alex Hamilton www.honisoit.com culture INNER WEST SIDE STORY Chelsea’s on king Georgia Behrens will probably never stay at Chelsea’s On King Chelsea Kovic is at war. for permission to renovate and restore She’s equipped herself with security her home and business, Chelsea’s On cameras, a criminal lawyer, and a bunch King Guest House, to its original Vic- of signs. She sleeps during the day and torian form. Her plan – which involves stays awake all night, keeping an eye moving the building back from the cur- out for vandals, thieves, and intruders rent streetscape to create a courtyard out the front – has been the subject of run petitions on her own behalf. stay awake all night to work and look complaints from several residential and “Jan, stop your lies to Marrickville out,” she said. commercial neighbours. Council about me. Liar, liar pants on And, while some might think that a “Heritage is not solely about returning fire. 2 neighbours have moved out be- decade-long battle over a renovation everything to its original form, but more cause of me? Come on Jan, spit it out, might not be worth it, Kovic says she’s about conservation of layers of history. WHO? Who Jan? Lucy, piss off out of not giving up any time soon. This façade has been there for around Newtown, you both don’t belong here, “I discovered my inner reserves of 100 years and while it is admirable to piss off and give us all some peace strength by listening to the music of the restore the existing terrace behind, it here,” reads one of the signs that greet Dixie Chicks and Pink and decided not should not necessarily entail removal of new guests to Chelsea’s On King. Oth- to give up my fight as I believed in what this façade…which would leave a hole ers call for a boycott of the neighbour- I was fighting for.” in the existing building line on King St,” ing button shop, demand that members And they say that Sydneysiders are ob- wrote a neighbour in a letter to Marrick- of Marrickville Council be sacked for sessed with real estate. ville Council in 2004. corruption, and ask for financial sup- on her property. She claims to have lost As a result of several similar com- port from members of the community. more than 20kg as a result of stress- plaints, the Council imposed a stop- Kovic says that these posters have of- induced health problems. She’s been work order on the renovation in 2006, ten been stolen, destroyed, or vandalised fighting for ten years, and has spent over making it a civil offence for a builder to by her neighbours, and that she has had $10 000 on her crusade. continue working on the project. to install security cameras as a result. The enemy? The owners of the local Kovic is convinced she is the victim “And,” she says, “I can only guess as button shop, aided and abetted by Mar- of a personal vendetta against her by to whom [sic] keeps damaging my car, rickville Council. The cause? A develop- her neighbours, and has mounted a fiery which I now park in different streets in ment application to renovate the front campaign in response. Since the order an attempt to keep it hidden.” of her King Street property. was issued, she has covered the contest- “I sleep all day while people would be Since 2003, Kovic has been battling ed façade in posters, staged protests, and able to see anything going on, and then Photos: Jennifer Yiu

Photo: Nick Westin GIG REVIEW Purity Ring Purity Ring managed to make the audience ear- and eye-gasm, writes Mala Wadhera

those nice couches at the back, but they’d probably had a long day at the of- I’d heard Purity Ring doing a radio fice so that’s okay. interview last week about how they try The show made me think about how to emphasise the visual element of their electronic music needs to be visual, be- music in their live shows. Seeing them cause in a normal listening situation all later that night this was clear. Purity with a xylophone, with lanterns last seen like OAF. One of the openers and fel- you really do is hear and feel it. James Ring’s show featured a stage of spectac- from my childhood afternoons pretend- low Americans,,Headaches, did a hot and Roddick are aware that we go to gigs ularly glowing cocoon-like things hang- ing to be Spyro the dragon chasing a job of warming up the crowd and en- to see something happen, even when it’s ing from the ceiling, with singer Megan goblin down a passageway. Not a bad couraging them to do a bit of jumping electronic music. I doubt that most peo- James nestled amongst them on Oxford look in any case. Roddick began out mu- around before the main event. ple would go to see a gig in a dark room Art Factory’s tiny stage. sically as a drummer, and still basically Purity Ring is a sing-song version of with nothing to look at but a dude who The production half of the band, drums while making music that fits safe- The Knife at times - pop with claps, basically looks like he’s typing into Word Corin Roddick, plays on an apparatus ly into the electronic pop genre. Megan synths, sweet melodies and skippy light on his Macbook. that is a collection of hittable lanterns James is all lingering gazes, cute twirls beats. There was nary a head not bob- Purity Ring did a really very beautiful connected to synths that light and play and wandering around a stage. bing or an ass not moving. Actually, job of being mindful of this while creat- upon touch. Think a touch lamp crossed The show went off in the dungeon- I did see a couple of girls napping on ing music you can move to.

Yeah, the type of guy who looks like he does 100 chin ups every day, with his actual chin. 13 culture @honi_soit REVIEWS How to Succeed in Business Tribes without Really Trying Justin Pen previews the latest offering Hal Conyngham wrote this review without really trying from SUDS Written by Frank Loesser and Abe unfortunately does not have the cha- Director Madeleine Miller had ini- Burrows (of Guys and Dolls fame), risma needed to portray the admittedly tial reservations about putting on Nina MUSE’s 2013 major How To Succeed in difficult role.How to Succeed asks the au- Raines’ Tribes. The play, a drama about Business without Really Trying follows the dience to believe that this young blue- a barely functional family held together rises and the falls of J. Pierrepont Finch, collar worker, with nothing more than in loose orbit around their deaf son a young window-washer, as he ascends a suit, his voice, and the titular self-help Billy, involved complex sign language to the summit of a multinational com- book, can rise to the top of a com- sequences and real-time subtitling. But pany. Directed by Amy Lester, MUSE’s pany in a matter of weeks, and Brown personal circumstances – her parents’ production is teeming with exuberance, doesn’t quite get there. That said, he’s own divorce – drove Miller to realise exceptionally strong singing and the certainly not a ‘weak link’, and there the project. ‘impetuosity of youth’ lauded in the is true warmth in his relationship with Interested in the dissonance between musical. Rosemary (Anna Colless). the family’s fondness for words and The rehearsal I saw was sans props, The script does contain some dated verbiage, and their concurrent ‘emo- set and costumes, but the performances gender stereotypes – the original book tional inarticulation’, Miller and her of the actors and chorus were strong was written in 1952 – and at times they cast probe the boundaries of language, enough that before long it felt like a full feel inadequately dealt with; while it’s communication and ‘political correct- production. Aidan Kane, as the nepo- not a huge problem, certain numbers ness’. play. Their quieter, fraternal exchang- tistic nephew of the boss’ wife, blends (‘Happy to Keep His Dinner Warm’, The play provided escape and cathar- es, often tempered by Daniel’s self- parodic caricature and a kind-of twist- ‘Cinderella, Darling’), leave you feeling sis in equal measure. Familial banter was loathing and paternalistic love for Billy, ed integrity masterfully. He is a truly slightly uncomfortable. However a highlight as the adroitly dysfunctional ground the otherwise frenetic nature of pathetic villain of the boo-and-hiss the satirical nature of the show wins cast exchanged quips and ‘fucks’ with the play’s ensemble scenes. variety, and have no worries, he gets through, and it becomes hard to take breakneck speed and expert comedic Concerned broadly with linguistics, his comeuppance. anything anyone says or feels seriously: timing. Robert Boddington, the surly outsiders and minority communities, Jordan Shea and Sophia Edmonds as hello, business. and cerebral father of the family stole the play never drifts too far from the J.B. Biggley and his secretary Hedy La This show is incredibly entertaining. several scenes through his vociferous, central story of a family in crisis – cap- Rue – an exotic name with a body to The performers are obviously having baritone outrage at “audists” and the tured and put to the fore through Mill- match – are a force to be reckoned with the time of their lives onstage, and “the hard-line deaf ”. er’s direction. The usual tropes of farce, on stage as the show’s premiere power this is inevitably transferred to the au- Mother and straight woman, Eliza miscommunication, and misinterpreta- couple. The over the top caricatures, dience. Lester and her cast should be Owen, brought raucous laughter in a tion are amplified by characters’ stutter, while at times out of step with the oth- commended for brilliantly exposing the terrific scene about Japanese fashion signing and deafness. er actors, work wonders on stage, and emptiness of our everyday lives, and in that challenges the law of diminishing In addition to an impressive technical will leave you laughing (or shaking your turn filling them with song and dance. marginal returns on how many laughs achievement, SUDS’ Tribes is contem- head in dismay). How To Succeed in Business without an actor can milk from the word ‘kimo- porary theatre, it is student theatre, and We find a solid leading man in Gavin Really Trying opens at 7:30pm, Wednesday no’ – and then real grief in a weightier above all it is good, emotive and enter- Brown, who while possessing the pre- March 13 at the Seymour Centre. The show moment in the play’s second act. taining theatre. requisite singing and dancing chops, runs until Saturday. Brothers Daniel and Billy, Nathaniel Tribes opens 7pm Wednesday at the Cellar Pemberton and Ryan Knight, respec- Theatre. $2 SUDS members, $3 Access, $5 tively, sit at the emotional core of the General Admission. Would you like some Bratwurst CRITIQUE with your Spaghetti Western? Max Weber sticks to one genre in this article on genre mixing wood’s lone gunman archetype, until an pered throughout modern film, includ- ultimate, brutal explosion of violence at ing Star Wars, Indiana Jones and many the film’s climax. of Tarantino’s own. That it would be The pertinent thing to note, and a nu- incongruously inserted in an otherwise ance that passes critics of the ‘violent convincing riff on a Nazi propaganda nonsense’ school of criticism by, is that film speaks volumes about Tarantino – this isn’t restorative or redemptive vio- he intends to make films that exist in lence – rather, it’s vengeful and it’s cin- the realm of film, and not in a reality It is a truism of genre films that they is that they are simply un-real, a con- ematic, relying as much on the viewer’s removed from the cinema. can’t be held to a standard of fidelity to demnation which is stating both the knowledge that it isn’t real as in its own As such, Django Unchained is in keep- real life. They rely not on the real world obvious and the irrelevant in regards storytelling. Tarantino winks at the au- ing with both the tradition of Spaghetti for meaning, but on other films. So it to Tarantino’s excursions into history, dience in his references; he debunks the Westerns past and of Tarantino’s own is with the loosely thematic genres of first with 2009’s Inglourious Basterds and racist epic Birth of a Nation in the slap- body of work, and indeed that of all Quentin Tarantino. They have always now with the Western slavery mash-up stick ride of the Ku-Klux-Klan, he ap- films. Those criticising it for historical had a recognisable sensibility: a com- Django Unchained. propriates a scene from his own Kill Bill inaccuracy might as well chastise a cat mon thread of revenge, popular culture Common to Basterds and Django is the in the final shoot-out. He indicates that, for being a poor bartender – to expect references and a casually aesthetic incli- reliance on historical truths for nar- as a film, the meaning is made from a solemn procession of antebellum nation towards violence that are at once rative brevity. Tarantino’s lens doesn’t other films. slavery is to misunderstand Brand Tar- implicitly his, and recognizable in many turn towards the atrocities (of slavery Basterds does much the same, most antino. From Reservoir Dogs to his latest of his forebears. But while his films, and the holocaust respectively), except notably in the Riefenstahl-esque Pride of offering, Tarantino’s films have spliced from Jackie Brown with its overtures of on a personal scale. They lurk in the the Nation, in which a dying soldier lets together the residual memory of ev- blaxploitation, to Kill Bill’s martial arts background, motivating the protago- out a scream that will sound familiar to ery film which influences him, and the fanboy-ism, have always sought to in- nists, be they a Jewish team reminiscent discerning viewers – it is the ‘Wilhelm work that emerges from this is indebted corporate the many elements of their of the Dirty Dozen, or an African- scream’, a stock sound sample pep- to the art form itself. diverse genres, a common criticism American appropriation of Clint East-

14 I wrote “There is nothing funny about erectile dysfunction” on my brother’s birthday card once. www.honisoit.com culture

high browLow Brow Why wailer Taylor needs to swiftly grow up Lulu Smyth knew Taylor Swift was trouble when she walked in Six years ago, the then-17-year-old, ing under the dubsteppy, dance-infused has seemed to be swiftly decreasing. I then-country singer Taylor Swift burst mish-mash she’s been spewing out mean this in terms of media personal- onto our radios and through our ear- lately. Regardless of whether you think ity, not record sales. At the start of her drums with her debut single ‘Our Song’. ‘Our Song’ is nothing but three and a career, Taylor’s name-dropping and digs Back then, she was a break-through half minutes of unrelenting, clichéd helped to shape her image as a vulner- sensation, applauded by the music drivel delivered by way of a nasal whine able America’s Sweetheart – arguably, industry for almost single-handedly and some E minor chords, it pales on her 27-second break-up phone call with bringing country music (and perms) the irritating scale in comparison to her Joe Jonas was what really catapulted her back into the mainstream. She leapt latest offerings: ‘We Are Never Ever into the spotlight. But where she was onto the Billboard Hot 100, shooting Getting Back Together’ and ‘Knew You once considered cute and admired for to the top of the Hot Country Songs Were Trouble’. her honesty, she’s now seen as attention- chart, and stayed there for 36 weeks. To be fair, I can see why a style trans- seeking, bitter, and, dare I say it, rather Critics compared her to Hilary Duff, as formation might be necessary for Tay- pathetic. NB: targeting Styles, the cur- well as Faith Hill and Cindy Thomson lor. She’s 23, and, like other teen sensa- rent darling of her tweeniverse fanbase, (whoever the last two are). tions before her, is now under pressure was not a wise move. to show the world that she has grown At the end of the day, my advice to “it’s never ever ever too late to up - physically, mentally and musically. Taylor is this: it’s never ever ever too late stop acting like you’re fifteen” Problem: she hasn’t. Not only do her to stop acting like you’re 15. Like, ever. Is Swift giving the finger to Harry Styles? jeering new singles reflect an even more Ditch the bitching, the snitching and How times have changed. Nowadays, immature and disagreeable mindset, but Getting Back Together’ – leaves some- the auto-pitching, and consider writing she’s cut a fringe, straightened her hair, her recent behaviour at the Grammy’s – thing to be desired. a song called ‘Maybe I’m The Problem’. and though her country roots are just appearing to impersonate Harry Styles In the last few years, and particular- Then I’ll believe you’ve grown up. about visible, they’re rapidly disappear- during her performance of ‘Never Ever ly the last few months, Swift’s appeal These chicks don't MUSIC even know the Guerilla marketing name of my band Adam Disney writes about the strategy of online music releases Band name: The Rider Some weeks back the internet was They study: Tom - Commerce at Notre abruptly embroiled in a king-hell ruckus Dame, Henry - Music at Newcastle Con- as David Bowie released a video and servatorium, Calum - Science and Arts, single online, heralding his first studio majoring in philosophy and pharmacol- album since 2003. ogy at the University of Sydney. The music press scrambled for deets but found them scarce. The man him- You will hear: harmonies, improvisation self kept mum, leaving it to collabora- and a lot of jazz and blues influences tors to recount the album’s long, and Sounds like: Red Riders, Dappled Cities, strictly secret, gestation. Then the net The Cops, British India was dealt the similarly stealthy drop of indie monolith My Bloody Valentine’s You can find them at: therider.bandcamp. first album in 22 years. And this wasn’t a com teaser – within hours of the announce- They’ll be playing at: Mr Falcon’s weekly ment the album was available in decent alternating between acoustic on Saturday digital form, at least until the server at 3:30pm and electric on Fridays at crashed under the weight of customers. 9:30pm. Here were two artists sitting on the A scene from the new David Bowie video The Stars are Out Tonight long-anticipated releases and those as fast as you can guzzle it. nowadays and with just an audio inter- For Honi’s extended interview with The crafty fuckers had managed to surprise Unfortunately though, the yolo- face and some pirated software they’ve Rider, see honisoit.com us. Oh internet, your limits are none! hashtag-shock-release-insta-download got a studio. So when you spam Face- None indeed, and as I sat in my doesn’t advantage everybody. You see, book, desperate for someone to listen swivel chair and waited for the down- this anti-publicity digital thing only to your abstract post-rock masterpiece, load it seemed I stood on the cusp of works for those who don’t need pub- the stony silence that greets you should a new and blessed cultural landscape. licity anyway. These albums came from not be unexpected. No more publicity kids – the release is artists with obsessive fanbases, who We get a little excited when something the publicity, the shock of its existence were known almost as much for their is done online that could never have the proof of its quality. Radiohead had inactivity as for their talent. succeeded otherwise, but it may not al- dipped a toe in but now we were head- For the nobodies, it’s not much good. ways be the turning point it seems. Re- first and plummeting. As that green bar While Lady Internet no doubt grants member the hubbub over that Twitter/ stretched eastward on my monitor I aspiring musicians a cheap and simple Arab Spring love-in? It was a neat party stirred my Milo and thought about the means of content distribution, this is trick but the jury is most definitely still future. The increasing ease with which useful only if others will listen. Imagine out with regards to whether new boss = one may stream high quality content has the resounding silence if you were to old boss. For now, it’s a little easier for seen the delay time between anticipation suddenly, and without publicity, release the big boys to sell their stuff, and a little and gratification approach zero. No your own lovingly crafted album. Every easier for the little ones to give it away. The Rider slow drip-feeding: the whole enchilada shithead and his mother are in a band

Comedy is about timing. In hindsight, it was probably a few years underdone. He was turning 12 that year. 15 culture @honi_soit

Think you can I CAN HAZ CAPSHUN? do better WHAT’S UP than us? * Then, submit your GUIDE captions to editors@ honisoit.com for a chance to win Seen and Heard Festival tickets to the “VIP Every Thursday between 7 - 21 March student event of the Red Rattler Theatre, Marrickville year,” hosted by the $10 for students founder of I Can Whether they’ve produced, written, or Haz Cheezburger directed these films, the festival show- and FAIL Blog at cases female cinematic talent worldwide. the Sebel Hotel There will be screenings of short films on March 28. Free and documentaries from Australia, Swe- food and drinks den and the United Kingdom. on the night. The Book Stack 1: Clive James Thursday, March 14 State Libray of NSW, Macquarie St $15 for adults, $10 for concession Drawing inspiration from great salons of the past, the Book Stack is an exciting book club with an emphasis on Austral- “So, two depressed clowns walk into a bar ...” * You probably can. ian authors. Join in for an evening of Cartoon: Bryant Apolonio laughter, literature and larrikinism. Exhibition Review Get Up! Stand Up! Every Wednesday from 1pm Putting on the warpaint Manning Bar Max Chalmers went to look at Ben Quilty paintings, but just looked at Ben Quilty instead Free A weekly comedy show which aims to Ben Quilty stands in a sunlit room either to create a pose that represented surface. These are not portraits of pride highlight student comedy and revive the at the National Art School (NAS), at- their experiences serving in Afghani- and power, the propaganda images of long-missing lunchtime university stand- tended by a small gallery of old women. stan—worried faces surveying a hostile men at war; these are the aching, fright- up circuit. And once a month, a special Seated on wooden stools, walking sticks environment, clenched bodies shocked ened bodies that return home with post- guest will perform alongside students. suspended between legs, the audience by a missile’s detonation—or close their traumatic stress disorder and swerve at nod in understanding as he tells the sto- eyes and open them directly facing the imagined roadside bombs. USYD Roller Derby Debut Bout ries behind his most recent exhibition, sun. The latter technique was his best ef- A placard quotes Quilty describing 11:30am, 17 March ‘After Afghanistan.’ On the walls around fort at recreating the blinding shock of Afghanistan as a generic mash-up of Sydney Boys High School Gymnasium him and the old, jovial women, hang the his own tour. Catch-22 and Mad Max, Beyond Thunder- $10 for adults, $5 for kids aged 6-14 young and languorous bodies of war. Quilty’s distinctively thick brush- dome: “dusty, violent, surreal.” Subtly, The Hells Belles versus the Rolling Part of a tour group, the women strokes and impasto finishing turned the Quilty’s patient oration mirrors this ten- Bones will be a fierce yet family-friendly cluster in the open space between the resulting photographs into hallowing sion. He tells the women that when one game event with face-painting and walls of the NAS, where 100 years ear- representations. The figures have been of the soldiers featured in the paintings plenty of food. lier, prisoners slouched in Darlinghurst stripped back, literally and artistically. came to inspect the exhibition, Quilty’s jail. Quilty points around the room and Most subjects were painted as nudes, mates took him out afterwards. “He’s a FredSoc Trivia Night lavishes each canvas with anecdotes. bereft of armour, uniform, and the dis- lot safer in Afghanistan than with my 6:30pm-9:30pm, March 19 He is young, cross-armed, and tall. His ciplined non-emotion of the soldier. friends in Surry Hills,” he quips, to all- Manning Bar Ned Kelly beard and smart-casual dress Their swirling nudity and lethargy make round applause from his elderly fans. $25 for non-ACCESS, $15 for ACCESS would easily camouflage him among the plain the vulnerability, anxiety, and trau- And then, as if congruously, Quilty fol- Hosted by Chris Taylor, donations go café occupants of Darlinghurst. ma they suppress below the unsullied lows up with a less pleasant story. An to the Fred Hollows Foundation to help After accepting the role of official war older man came to visit the exhibition treat preventable blindness. artist, Quilty was given a week of mili- in the preceding weeks wearing what tary training and sent to Kandahar, then appeared to be his own military medals Tarin Kowt (capital of Uruzgan prov- from long-ended conflicts. In fact, they ince). During the First World War, Aus- had belonged to his son, a casualty of tralia’s official war artists were embed- the Afghan conflict. ded with a unit for three whole months Downstairs, in a second room, a time- Pretty fly while in the 1960s, with the Vietnam line of the Afghanistan and Iraq wars for a white guy. War ongoing, war artists were expect- has been drawn on the walls in thick N.B. All these ed to form an active part of their unit marker. It runs all the way along the events get and underwent extensive jungle warfare three white walls. two thumbs training. Though Quilty’s preparations Though not on the same scale as up from us. were far less intensive, his travels were Picasso’s masterpiece, Quilty’s work no sheltered tour. While staying at the comes to the same point, hyperfocused Kandahar Air Fields, Quilty experienced at the level of the individual. In an inter- a Taliban rocket strike. It was a long way view with the Good Weekend while work- from the familiar for the 2011 Archibald ing on the exhibitions, he summarised Prize winner. his labour thus: “I’ll end up examining On his return to Australia, Quilty had Troy Park, After Afghanistan by the whole tragic meaning of war, my at- soldiers model for him. He asked them Ben Quilty, 2012. tempt at Picasso’s Guernica.”

16 There really is nothing funny about erectile dysfunction. That’s the long and short of it. www.honisoit.com

Living on little money Many students are forced to live on week, including putting some aside for very little money while they are study- unforseen expenses if you can. Look ing. Here are some ideas that might for “leaks” that can help you to save a help you get by. bit more. Look at: www.moneyminded.com.au Loans, Bursaries & www.wesleymission.org.au/centres/ Scholarships creditline “budget planner”. University Financial Assistance PHONE Safer sex is important. You can pick Office: 9351 2416 Pre-paid accounts allow you to give up free condoms from the SRC office, DEALING WITH DEBTS Loans are interest free and bursaries yourself a fixed budget for phonecalls. level 1 Wentworth. The SRC Legal Service will work with do not need to be repaid. Talk to them Encourage your friends to call you or Clean needles and injecting packs are you to clear your debts. This service is about your situation and they’ll guide text to make a skype date. available from the Alcohol and Drug free to undergraduate students. you to the most suitable option. Information Service (ADIS). Call their If you have a problem with gambling, Scholarships Office (University & FREE FOOD, CHEAP FOOD 24 hour confidential telephone service free, confidential help is available at the government scholarships) 8627 8450 There is no reason to be hungry if on 9361 8000 or 1800 422 599. University. Call 9351 6346 for more There is range of different ways to you live in Sydney. Go to the SRC Dentists can be super expensive on information. qualify for a scholarship. Talk to the Help section of the SRC webpage and a student budget. But your teeth are University about which ones you’re look at the Useful Links. There are important. There are some services you HAPPY HOUSING eligible for and how to apply. many places around Sydney that offer may access for free. Come and speak to Cheap quality accommodation is hard SRC Emergency loans up to $50 are free meals and a few that may do food SRC HELP caseworkers. to get. Most of the cheap options go good to fill that gap the day before parcel. Australian citizens and permanent very quickly, so you’ll have to be patient payday or if you forget you wallet. residents can apply for a Low Income and flexible. If you are in urgent need 9660 5222 HEALTH Health Card Card if you earn $480 a of housing ask an SRC Caseworker Bulk billing (or direct billing) doctors week or less, or get a Centrelink student about emergency accommodation. MANAGING MONEY means that you will not be charged for payment. This gives you a reduced price If you are about to move into a home When you don’t have enough money the appointment. This is covered on on prescription drugs, free ambulance or if you are behind in rent and are to make little mistakes it is a good idea Medicare and Overseas Student Health cover etc. Go to www.centrelink.gov.au on the lease you might be eligible for to have a budget plan. Write down how Cover (OSHC). eg University Health “Low income health care card” Rentstart through Housing NSW. you are going to spend money each Service in Wentworth and Holme buildings. Ask Abe Hi Abe,

Need legal advice I moved into a place in Stanmore at the beginning of February. I paid my bond and 4 weeks rent in advance. and not at main Now that I’ve lived there a while I really hate it and want to move out. The house itself is dark and gloomy and I don’t really like my neighbourhood. I told my landlord but she said I had campus? to stay until the end of my contract. This is a real problem because I’ve already signed a lease for another room in a different house. Please help SRC Legal Service is now available at other campuses! me. Please find the following schedule where a solicitor/registered migration agent will Doubled Up be attending these campuses from the 3rd semester week (18 March 2013): First Thursday of each month: Sydney Conservatorium of Music Dear Doubled Up, You may be able to convince your Location: to be advised by the faculty landlord to allow you to find someone Second Wednesday of each month: Rozelle campus - Sydney College of There are 2 types of renters: tenants to take over your contract, that is, move the Arts (morning only: 9-12pm - start date and location to be advised); and borders/lodgers. Tenants are in and pay the same amount of rent for Sydney Nursing School (afternoon covered by the Residential Tenancy Act. the remainder of the time you had on only 12:30 - 3pm) It sets down rules for both you and your contract. If this doesn’t work you Location: student common room your landlord. In this situation you have might like to speak to the SRC Solicitor Third Monday of each month: Cumberland campus - Faculty of described you want to “break your lease about breaking your contract with as Health Science early”. As a tenant you would have to little financial penalty as possible. Location: Faculty library and Student pay a penalty of between 4 and 6 weeks Supports Centre rent in addition to rent up on till the Abe Fourth Thursday of each month: Westmead Hospital and Faculty of day you move out. If you have main- Oral Health tained your room in good order you Abe is the SRC’s welfare dog. This column offers students the opportunity to ask questions on Location: To be advised by the faculty should receive a refund of your bond. anything. This can be as personal as a question Upcoming campus workshop: on a Centrelink payment or as general as a question on the state of the world. Send your Thursday 21 March 2013 Sydney Conservatorium of Music If you are a border/lodger you are questions to [email protected]. Abe gathers Thursday 28 March 2013 Westmead Hospital and Faculty of covered by the contract that you signed. his answers from experts in a number of areas. Coupled with his own expertise on dealing with Oral Health There is usually some clause in their people, living on a low income and being a dog, Abe’s answers can provide you excellent insight. If you wish to make an appointment with SRC Legal Service during these about how to break the contract early. campus visits, you can call the SRC on 9660 5222.

Mind you, those radio ads for nasal spray always make me laugh. How would Pinocchio administer that stuff? 17 SRC @honi_soit

President’s Report [email protected]

David Pink is optimistic about the numbers

Well, that was a surprise. We actually ple, as well as talking to them. At vari- try and gain support for the union's shut down the university for a day. ous points people tried to pull me into cause. This is the fallacy of awareness It was an undeniable success. Be- that debate, I avoided being drawn in as campaigns. It's not about convincing an tween 300 and 400 people manned the best I could, and focused on providing apathetic student mass to view the EBA pickets, and we turned away thousands support to the pickets rather than trying slightly more positively. That doesn’t of students and staff from entering the to tell them what to do, which wouldn't make a difference. campus. We had an energetic rally of have worked and would have only alien- The entire purpose of the strike was all the pickets at 12 (with 400 people ated people. to shut down the university as a func- meeting at City Rd footbridge), and Perhaps the best bit was that after a tioning enterprise for the day. We suc- then had a spontaneous student march certain time very early in the morning, ceeded. I don't apologise for making on the Quad. not one person was able to get a car into students and scabs feel uncomfortable There was some debate throughout the law car park. After traffic started if they decided to cross the picket lin the day about the intensity of the picket banking up and affecting city road, the This is the tactic via which workers lines. Some folks thought they should police had no choice but to close the have won every victory in pay, rights be symbolic, focused on persuading entrance off. This was due to the action and conditions ever. people to turn around, others thought of a small picket outside the law school. they should be physical - focused on I'd like to make something very clear: non violently physically blockading peo- the point of industrial action isn't to General Secretary’s Report [email protected] Dylan Parker thinks you should know your National Union

So its week two and all this talk of a National Day of Action to fight for a As an affiliate organisation, under- strikes and the like made me think it is fair and funded tertiary sector. graduate student associations like your probably time for you to get to know NUS also supports your SRC by SRC democratically elect student del- your National Union. The National organising an Education Conference egates to attend National Conference, Union of Students (NUS) is the top and President’s summit each year so the peak body that sets the policy direc- representative association for students. SRC Office Bearers and our activists tion and elects student National Office It is your union and fights for your edu- get the training they need to represent Bearers to put that policy into place. cation, your welfare and other fronts. you by swapping ideas, campaign tech- So what has NUS done for me Like your SRC, NUS wants to make niques, and providing media training. lately? sure Uni is actually worth going to. How does it work? Just to name a few, your National What does NUS do? Like the SRC, NUS operates by a Union has fought and won to lower the NUS represents your voice by run- departmental structure and runs issue age of independence, its fought and ning issue based campaigns, publishing based campaigns under the direction won to end full fee paying places, not surveys, best practise guides, lobbying of student National Office Bearers to mention took us a step forward after governments and universities, as well as (NOBs) around the areas of education, two back with the Student Services and presenting student perspectives to the welfare, women’s, queer, indigenous, Amenities Fee and finally won inter- media. NUS was there when USyd stu- disabilities, international, environment national travel student concessions in dents went on strike and is organising and ethno-cultural. several states. [email protected] Education Officers’ Report Casey Thompson says at least skip On Thursday the 7th of March over was organised by the Education Action trial action (i.e.: more strikes will take two hundred staff members, and sev- Group (EAG). The EAG is a collective place over the coming weeks, and they eral hundred students, came together to of the Students’ Representative Council are likely to be longer in duration than form picket lines around the university. (SRC) that runs all of the education Thursday’s 24 hour stoppage.) The National Tertiary Education Union campaigns that keep our university If you don’t want to join your fellow (NTEU) and the Community and Public strong. Last year the EAG organised students and staff during these strikes, Sector Union (CPSU) led the industrial the fight back against the proposed please at least skip class (and take a few few days off to send a strong message action against university management’s cut of 340 academic and general staff. days off to chill out from study!). You that we won’t pay for low quality edu- proposed Enterprise Bargaining Agree- The campaign was a huge success with may wonder how missing a lecture or cation, is worth it to get a high quality ment (EBA). The EBA plans to strip thousands rallying on Eastern Avenue tutorial could ever be good for your degree. If you really are concerned with staff of their conditions and destroy and the majority of the staff jobs being education. These protests are needed missing out on your education then this the high quality of education that stu- saved. The EAG is calling on all stu- if we are to preserve the high quality is the movement to join, because if you dents expect, and deserve, from the dents who value their staff, and their education that we receive here, if we don’t, our degrees will be devalued and prestigious University of Sydney (a education, to once again join us in 2013. are to stop overcrowding of classes and we’ll miss out every day of the year. university with a budgetary surplus of Last Thursday was just the beginning a decreased quality of teaching and aca- Fight for the quality working condi- $93 million). of the current campaign. The NTEU demic support, throughout our entire tions our staff deserve and the quality The student solidarity contingent will most likely be taking rolling indus- degrees. We’re here for several years. A education that we deserve.

18 If you have ever brought that spray, or know someone who has, can you write a letter to the paper? www.honisoit.com SRC Queer Officer’s Report [email protected]

Fahad Ali looks at the significance of Mardi Gras

to fight against the cruel injustices sage is chillingly relevant to us today. liberation, has been attacked in precisely that they faced. This year we marched Sexism persists both in the military and the same way. We will not back down. together for the first time as a united the police force. Indigenous Australians We will not be intimidated. We will con- Sydney University community in a float suffer police brutality every single day. tinue the struggle until we have achieved put together by the Queer Action Col- And the countless cases of targeted a world in which all can live in safety and lective, SHADES, Queer Revue, and the police violence and unwarranted strip freedom. USU’s Queer Coordinators. The float searches throughout and after the Mardi If you are interested in joining the was a triumphant celebration of what Gras is a clear indication that there is a fight for a better world, get in touch we can achieve when we work together. systematic queerphobia ingrained within with me at [email protected]. On behalf of the Students’ Representa- the police force. au. Remember, there is a diverse and In 1978, gay and lesbian activists came tive Council, myself, and my co-organ- I commend Cat Rose, Karl Hand, exciting community at Sydney for you to together here, on this campus, to organ- izer Eleonora Kazantzis, I would like and Community Action Against Homo- explore, including the active and social ise a protest against violent persecution to thank everyone who volunteered or phobia for organising the rally against Queer Action Collective, the theatrical and discrimination that would become participated in the float. We are a com- police violence that was held last Friday. and fun Queer Revue, and the up-beat the first Mardi Gras. A group of 500 munity of passion, pride, and power, I would also like to extend my thanks to and high-energy party group SHADES. courageous men and women marched and we must never forget that. queer and allied students from Sydney Feel free to send me a message if you’d down Oxford Street, burgeoning in size Though much has changed for the University who attended the rally, march- like any information on any of the queer as revellers responded to the call: “out queer community, it is shameful that ing behind the Queer Action Collective groups on campus. of the bars and into the streets!” we still have to stand up against queer- banner. There have been attempts to In 2013, we celebrated the 35th Syd- phobia from those institutions that are vilify and discredit the organisers. This ney Mardi Gras. The queer rights move- sworn to protect and serve. In ’78, our is not a new phenomenon—every sin- ment has come so far in the years since community chanted: “stop police attacks gle liberation effort in history, including those brave activists gathered together on gays, women, and blacks!” This mes- women’s, Aboriginal, queer, and black Women’s Report [email protected]

Emily Rayers reports back on women’s collective

It’s been another busy week for the Women’s Day occurred last Friday – an erything despite lots of unexpected set- Women’s Collective! We hope you have annual event which has been an inter- backs on the way! all started to settle in to your classes and national celebration for over 100 years. Many of our members also attended timetable and are looking forward to the Much of our time last week was spent at the Sydney-wide International Women’s semester ahead. various events celebrating the achieve- Day march on Saturday. After catch- Our first meeting took place on ments of women, remembering how far ing up over some yummy homemade Wednesday, and we had so much new we have come and remembering that we snacks we wandered over to Town Hall interest that we were practically spill- still have much further to go in women’s and joined hundreds of other Sydney ing outside the door of the Women’s activism. women to raise awareness for and push Room! It was fantastic to catch up with The Women’s Collective hosted a stall for action to end violence and discrimi- old members, meet so many new mem- on Friday at the IWD festival hosted by nation to women. There was a huge their Facebook event ‘Seen & Heard bers and, hear some really great ideas for the USU and had a fantastic day. The turnout for the march and it was not Film Festival 2013’. activism and social events through the combination of sunshine, fairy floss, only a great success but a LOT of fun As always, if you would like to join the coming year. Don’t let the lack of space fabulous tunes from Eirwen Skye and to march with friends and alongside the Women’s Collective feel free to come deter you from joining us at our next the company of so many wonderful UTS and UNSW Women’s Collectives! along to our meetings at 1pm Wednes- meeting – there is always room for more women made for a perfect way to cel- The Seen&Heard festival continues days in the Women’s Room at Manning enthusiasm around women’s issues and ebrate! Huge congratulations go out to this Thursday evening at The Red Rat- house. Alternatively request to join our we have a place in our ranks for every the USU Women’s Convenor and Wom- tler in Marrickville, showcasing films Facebook group ‘Usyd Women’s Collec- woman on campus. en’s Collective member, Eve Radunz, produced, directed or largely influenced tive’, tweet us (@SRCwomens) or phone As you are likely aware, International who did an amazing job organising ev- by women. For more information see the SRC on 9660 5222. Disability Officer’s Report [email protected]

Sarah Louise introduces you to the Disability Collective

Hi everyone, I’m Sarah and I’m re- still care about those who do. We had a just let us know and we can get them ideas about how to help first year stu- ally excited to be one of your Disability really successful stall during O-Week, it to you. Our first collective meeting will dents use transition and disability ser- Collective officers with another Sarah was great meeting you and hearing your be next week on Thursday, 4-5pm. The vices. If you have any ideas, feel free to and Yaz. We have been super busy over stories! I was, however, disappointed location is TBC, so join our Facebook search for the disability collective group the break thinking of amazing things to that our O-Week stall wasn’t accessible group for all the latest information. I on Facebook. Look forward to seeing do for all the courageous students who to all. We have plenty of goodie bags had the pleasure of attending a Rare you next Thursday. identify as having a disability and you with relevant fact sheets and lollies left Disease Conference on transitional ser- awesome people who don’t identify but over in the office, so if you did miss out, vices and it gave my plenty of amazing

Ultimately, in the perennial words of Billy Connolly: “Never trust a fart and never waste an erection.” 19 puzzles @honi_soit fin

Cryptic Crossword

Across Down

1. OECD programming protocol (4) 1. Bill extracted from Chancellor of the Roman king (6) 3. Central gathering with Armstrong, Pike, 2, 25. Do not remember to leave 12-across 14-across? (4,1,5) Franklin and Forms (10) 4. Supernova cut high-rising curve (4) 10. Lincoln or Alexander II operate impatient 5. Wager even negligee, oddly unseen in 26-down (10) casino (15) 6. Song within core homes (6) 11. Sun a runt compared to backwards planet (6) 7. Standard omitted first descendant, covering beheaded 12. (8) novelist (9) 14. Left 25-down like 12-across? (9) 8. Put away Federer and Nadal: 6-2 2-6 (3,5) 16. Decomposing cold lime not hot (4) 9. Risk determiner from directionless refuge (7) 19. Elevated on pot (4) 13. Little boy spawn of Manhattan (6,4) 20. Anus met me for fun? (9) 15. Almost toss pronto regularly at club (9) 23. Noble government at myopic coup (8) 17. Getting 19-across colloquially, mostly with 26-down for 24. Brazilian legend carrying gun as skipper (6) rising talent (8) 27. Frayed rope importation not to scale (15) 18. Charlemagne beheaded temp by rightless wrong (7) 28. Estelle’s burger without hesitation at decisive 21. Personify half/semi build (6) site of 10-across-related conflict (10) 22. Cilla excommunicated from Evangelical order in 29. Acquiesce to deity, Gumbo (4) Switzerland (6) 25. See 2-down Janice 26. Principal* (4)

WHAM, BAM, GHOURDOUS A N A G R A M ! LOTRILAT

M e d i u m GLABE EWATH H a r d

The shaded letters form M e d i u m another anagram. Use them to answer the riddle.

Q: Where do the French like to store bread? H a r d A: In a

Across Down

1, 29. Oral examination (4,4) 1. Room attached to a church in which clergy robe (6) 3. Containing one or more holes (10) 2. Female fox (5) 10. Christmas gift from a true love? (3,5,1,6) 4. Lack of effort (4) 11. Fail to honour promise (6) 5. Small portable torch (10) 12. Devalues (8) 6. U.S. President 1981-1989 (6) 14. One of a board of seven men in Ancient 7. Member of a clan (9) Rome (9) 8. Tasted with relish (8) 16. Hook’s right hand man (4) 9. See 20-across 19. Vocal range beneath soprano (4) 13. Projectiles to be discharged from a weapon (10) 20, 9. Bronte novel (9,7) 15. Ethereal substance believed by some to indicate the presence 23. Clearly expressed (8) of a spirit (9) 24. Frozen spike 6) 17. Ranges of colours and tastes (8) 27. Conversion from one script to 18. Recurring geometric pattern (7) another (15) 21. Thin strips of glittering material (6) 28. Outward appearances (10) 22. Meeting of spiritualists attempting to communicate with the 29. See 1-across (4) dead (6) 25. Capital of Egypt (5) Janice 26. Yield (4)

QUICK CROSSWORD

20 Next week: “There is nothing funny about yeast infections; trouble brewing at Honi.” fin FOLLOW US ON TWITTER - @THE_SOIN: Too many people in lectures. Stop the boats! #USYD #STRIKE [@THE_SOIN] THE GAY LEBANESE THE NEW MENACE FIND OUT WHAT YOU CAN DO TO PROTECT YOUR FAMILY 6:30PM WEEKNIGHTS SOIN CHANNEL 9 NEWS

ABBOTT VICTIM OF DOG WHISTLE POLITICS SOIN EXCLUSIVE

Today, opposition Leader Tony said. “Obviously they had just panties and, when questioned by to smuggle a carton of Durex Abbott has become the latest had enough of the whistling.” police, claimed that he had been personal lubricant inside an victim of dog whistle politics conforming to the Liberal party Adelaide branch of the RSPCA. after he was brutally mauled The incident is just the latest in line. “The big kids kept talking In a statement, Bernardi claimed in a dog attack. A spokesman a string of dog-related political about wolf-whistle politics, so I he had been confused by what for Abbott claims that a mob mishaps. Earlier this week, thought I would join in,” said Roy, “dog whistle” politics entailed. of dogs set upon the politician Wyatt Roy, Federal Member for on the verge of tears. “I want my “I will be withdrawing back into as he left a press conference Longman and recent foetus, mummy!” the closet to take some time out yesterday. “They were mostly sparked national outrage after from politics and reflect upon minature poodles, shitzus and indecently exposing himself Senator Cory Bernardi also my actions,” he said. pugs, but they were rabid and in public. Roy was spotted drew unwanted attention this very vicious,” the spokesman wearing a short skirt and no week, after he was caught trying

SICK OF WORKERS MORNING HERALD AND THE GAYSTRALIAN? THINK HOWARD SHOULD LEAD THE LABOR PARTY AT THE NEXT ELECTION? FOLLOW @THE_SOIN ON TWITTER FOR AN AUSSIE BATTLER PERSPECTIVE ON THE NEWS THAT AFFECTS YOU.

FOLLOW US ON TWITTER - @THE_SOIN: Too many people in lectures. Stop the boats! #USYD #STRIKE [@THE_SOIN] 21 THE SOIN Not sued for defamation since 2012 MILITANT WINTER SPORTS GROUP REMOVED FROM SUSF COMEDIANS SEE NO LIGHT documents that confirmed SubSki’s strike, including “stab the scab”, links to hard-left socialist organisations were the work of SubSki, or other AT END OF NUCLEAR TUNNEL Socialist Alternative and The Greens. revolutionary groups like the St. John’s Sydney University comedians have failed Solidarity Brigade. to make light of the impending nuclear Posters found by The Soin apocalypse. Although North Korea has confirm the radical politics of historically been the punchline of many SubSki, with the organisation jokes, SU comedians have decided that calling on students to strike the potential millions of deaths is too against Sydney University grave for humour. management during their dispute with unions NTEU and “How can one make a joke about the CPSU. possible annihilation of Japan and South Korea?” comedian Jai Ahmed Sydney University Sports & Fitness Cargo Bar is also under fire asked. “Our job is to make people club SubSki has been disaffiliated after for their financial support of laugh, not profit off the tragedy of the university management discovered the organisation. Allegations break of international relations. Kim covert radical left-wing plots by the continue that Cargo Bar was Jong-Un should be condemned, not to executive of the group. SubSki was also an organising space for the be excused through humour.” formerly known for its group, but Cargo Bar continue skiing, drinking, and nudity. to deny such allegations. “We’re human beings, not monsters,” another comedian, Christy Ainsworth, “Cargo Bar is dedi- noted. A spokesperson for cated to providing SUSF noted that the entertainment for group’s manifesto, which This comes a week after stand-up its patrons, and is comedian Harry Wright broke down on begins with “a call not linked to radical for the revolutionary stage at a Manning Bar comedy night politics”, the owner of after attempting a joke about global redistribution of the Cargo Bar stated. means of production,” warming. conflicts with the stated aims of the SUSF organisation. “We believed our fi- “Has anyone ever noticed how global nancial support was warming sounds like ... fuck this, most going towards skiing, photogra- of Asia is going to drown and I’m here “We’re pretty happy with controlling the phers, and enabling sleazy men means of production at the moment.” making jokes about the fate of all these through the provision of cheap people. What have I become?” alcohol.” Allegations of intimidation and bullying surround the incident, with witnesses There has been backlash from a section The Soin is continuing to of patrons, some commenting on the accusing the “Commissar” of SubSki investigate claims of whether of attempting to cover up the leaked Sydney University Comedy Association or not banners at the Thursday (SUCA) Facebook page demanding a return to jokes about genocide and poverty. 2013 FEDERAL ELECTION SPECIAL: TONY ABBOTT ETC. Despite backlash, SUCA is still Tony Abbott has cut short his tour of edly been caught off guard by Abbott’s considering proposals to regulate its Sydney’s western suburbs to campaign logically consistent approach, and have members to only make sexually-related for an immediate election in Victoria begun to question their own loyalties to jokes at SUCA affiliated venues. following the resignation of Liberal Pre- the PM. mier Ted Bailieu. But a faction with SUCA has demanded “Perhaps Julia’s leadership is illegiti- an end to sex jokes as well, noting that “It’s a matter of principle,” Abbott told mate,” said one staffer, “perhaps we do “sex is the greatest catastrophe of the The Soin, “this is now an illegitimate gov- need an election right now.” human condition,” in their manifesto. ernment.” Abbott’s commitment to the cause is “La petite mort.” “In politics, you have to be true to your being lauded as a political masterstroke convictions. You can’t apply one stan- in Canberra. dard at Federal level and an entirely dif- ferent standard to an identical situation Sources close to the Opposition Leader OPINION: CHRISTMAS at State level. have informed The Soin that Mr Abbott OVER AT THE ISLAND plans to maintain his momentum by “That would be rank hypocrisy,” he said. publicly endorsing polyamorous mar- We have always been an riage next week, in an attempt to wedge open and welcoming peo- Julia Gillard’s senior staff have report- the Sydney University Greens. ple, but like many countries around the world, we are Piers Akerman Editor of Aryan Affairs now paying the price for our openhearted hospital- ity as mostly Muslim immigrants flood USU PARTY REBRAND; STILL COLOSSAL FAILURE our shores and transform Australian communities into Arabian sultanates. This has led to an alarming new trend A University of Sydney Union (USU) cated towards improved event manage- pioneering party theme and losing stu- known as “white flight” and figures just spokesman has defended claims that ment or securing more prominent musi- dents in the process,” Wayward said. released by the Australian Bureau of the re-branding of annual Manning par- cal acts”. “Changing all the tutorial rooms to Man- Statistics have identified Christmas Is- ty Beachball as a ‘thrift shop party’ is ning and scheduling all the classes to land as its latest victim. more than just a belated attempt to cap- “Our closing night O-Week party, ‘The coincide with the time of the party was ture campus zeitgeist. Final Act’, was a triumph,” Wayward a bit of a logistical nightmare but a nec- Christmas Island was once a tiny close- said. “It may have been the first sold-out essary one.” knit community, but as more and more Sporting a decidedly unprofessional USU event in recorded history but that refugees take up residence in the pro- leopard mink and garish green alliga- was not down to getting big-name acts – “Ultimately the Union is here to make cessing centre on the island, many of tor shoes, USU CEO Andrew Wayward Ball Park Music were our headliners for sure that students have fun on campus,” the local, true blue residents are begin- downplayed suggestions that the name God’s sake – but due to the uniqueness Wayward said. “If we have to threaten ning to feel like strangers in their own change had come about as a result of of our theme. I mean, when was the last students with academic penalties to homes and are looking to move away disappointing student attendance at re- time you went to an Alice in Wonderland- achieve that then so be it. We want you from districts they have lived in for gen- cent Union events. themed event?” all to have fun – good old, compulsory erations. Beryl, a true blue Aussie who fun.” has lived in the area for over 30 years, “Although our critics may have billed In an attempt to bolster his as- feels like the island is losing its dis- last year’s Beach-, and Snow-, balls as sertions Wayward announced tinctly Australian character. “Not one of colossal failures, I would point out that that the USU would be work- those refugees is Australian and with as we did little to no preparation or mar- ing in conjunction with the so many of them moving in, the whole keting they should be viewed as suc- university time tabling unit to area is beginning to feel a bit unAustra- cesses,” Wayward explained. ensure high attendance rates lian. Particularly the bits around where are maintained. they live. These days it feels more like “The real problem in recent years has Christmanistan Island.” not been USU ineptitude but rather the “I admit that some of our new thematic shortcomings of our marquee tactics are a little unortho- A country girl at heart, Beryl has kept events,” Wayward said. dox,” Wayward explained. “As up the lifelong habit of chatting to soon as we discovered that St. shopkeepers and neighbours, but she “What people fail to understand is that Andrews [College] was also has found Christmas Island’s new resi- this theme will continue to resonate planning to hold a thrift shop dents unfriendly and aloof. “How am I with students not just for the next few party the night before our supposed to have a decent conversation weeks but for years to come,” Wayward event we knew we had to kick with them when they keep sewing their said. “The USU has a proud tradition of it up a gear.“ lips shut?” she asks. She also does not popping tags and while we may have 20 feel particularly inspired by their work million dollars in our pocket we do not “We couldn’t risk those bas- ethic, “They just sit inside that deten- believe that such money should be allo- tards stealing our, frankly, ARTICLE CONTINUES ON ... THE NEXT PAGE ... OVER THERE 22 FOLLOW US ON TWITTER - @THE_SOIN: BREAKING: glass as Taylor Swift sings live [@THE_SOIN] NEED 140 CHAR- THE Not sued for defamation since 2012 Send us letters at thesoin@... find out in the next episode! SOIN Letters to the Agony Aunt Editors Dear Soin, To some, it’s little more than one big vvvvvvv roundabout. To others, the suit and Hi Soin! effective opening sentence: sensible heels capital of the world. But to those truly in the know- those who consider I notice from the course outline that “As inevitably and expediently We find the term ‘fuck buddies’ offen- themselves travellers, not just tourists - I annotated within a day of my being as my older lover, Chesterton sive. It’s so emblematic of the hetero- Canberra is a thrill seeker’s paradise. here that I will be expected to complete Green, trampled on my heart monogamo-sexism of our society. So, if you’re thinking of getting your essay assignments this semester. The thirteen months into our tem- adrenalin pumping over the Easter break, We’re still in a committed relationship here are our top five picks to get your fly in this ointment is my deep sense of pestuous relationship, the rule with Labor and Cory Bernardi. Poly danger on in the nation’s capital. dread when the word ‘essay’ is men- of law, assuming a legal positiv- relationships can be stable too. L ake Burley Griffin tioned. How does one write a good essay? ist construction, was sacrificed by Allied States in the 1945-6 Love, Once you’ve resolved the perennial route M’aidez, dilemma – clockwise, or anti-clockwise? – Nuremberg War Trials.” The erst- The Greens the lake is your oyster. If you like getting Petrified by Failure while uninterested Foundations wet and wild, pick up a paddle boat from of Law marker is compelled to Burley Griffin Boat Hire- they can get TS: Dear Obvious Law Student, read on, filled as she is with Oi Cunts. up to awesome top speeds of 1km/h. Or if you’re keen to take it to the next sympathy and questions: “Who level, mosey on down to West Basin and Essays are remarkably uncompli- is Chesterton Green?”, “How You’re right, I am a giant cunt. But I’m hook yourself up with a truly sweet ride- cated beasts once you learn some did their relationship end?” and a richer cunt than all of you. Segway tours go every hour on the hour. intellectual cheat codes. The most “Could true love have been saved Questacon important lesson to learn is how if he had been younger?” With Fuck ya, to grab the reader’s attention. a few generous sprinklings of The national science and technology Tom Waterhouse museum is getting real about risk-taking. Given that teaching staff routinely these, every essay of yours will They’ve gotten rid of their rollercoaster mark essays numbering in the catapult to the top of the High simulator, and are heading truly off the double digits, you’ll really need to Distinction pile! rails. Get jumpsuited up for the death- spice things up to stand out from Dear Soin, defying free fall, experience a massive 3.2 the crowd. Consider the follow- Similarly, end your essays with magnitude earthquake, and shoot some You now have a challenger for most (rubber) ducks with an (air) gun. ing example of a tremendously a bang. “Thumbs up if question 3(a) brought you here!!” and “We overblown, right-wing, and poorly laid Old Parliament House love you, Taylor Swift!!!!!” are out tabloid in Australia – us. The political equivalent of Macklemore both good examples of an essay pre-‘Thrift Shop’, this is where parliament conclusion. Soin lifted these con- Yours in solidarity, was held before it went mainstream. Federation-era dress-ups, audio tours on clusions from popular templates Sydney Morning Herald Walkmans, and endless portraits of old for Youtube comments, but Soin white men makes this an unmissable foresees no difficulty in casu- destination. ally liberating them from that Dear Soin, New Parliament House context and depositing them in your essays with no explanation Don’t be fooled by the political posturing whatsoever. Before you say something about us and highly-polished parquetry: the real losing another election in a landslide, attraction round here is the nation’s best- kept front lawn. Once you’re done with And that’s it! Hope that aidez remember that the way things are your happy snaps in the House of Reps, your m’! going, Western Australia will be noth- head outside to get rolling down that ing more than a giant hole in a few grassy goodness. Talk about grassroots democracy! years anyway. Coles Manuka Advice for first years from a Lol. Julia Gillard regularly pops in for toilet fifth year who gets HDs but still paper on Friday nights, and Bob Katter’s constantly disappoints her father. often spotted in the boot polish aisle. If Thanks, you get your kicks from pollie-perving, Julia Gillard then welcome to your ultimate fantasy.

Pisces SCORPIO Happy Birthday, Pisces! You are one year older, Though technically you’ll ‘get lucky’, Scorpio, an and one year closer to your inevitable death. unexpected case of crabs will make you question Memento mori, Pisces: remember you will die. H whether or not luck is truly on your side.

ARIES O CANCER Computer model of Canberra (Source: ACT Planning A small fortune is coming your way, Aries. And Get that mole checked out, Cancer. I’m not saying and Land Authority, 2013) you’re going to spend all of it. On stupid shit that R there’s anything to worry about, but like, I’m not not you don’t need. saying it either. CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS PAGE TAURUS R SAGITTARIUS tion centre being waited on hand and Something will happen to you, Taurus. Or to some- You will ignore the flirtations of a co-worker this foot, not one of them has a job. Not that one you know. Prove me wrong, biotch. O week because you think you can do better. Smile they should be allowed to take Austra- wistfully, Sagittarius, and know that high standards lian jobs.” GEMINI will be the cause of your growing old alone. R Most worrying of all, she is beginning This week, you’ll be swept up by a creative impulse, LIBRA to worry for her safety, “my dog, Butch, Gemini. Reasoning that you can write down your S When a stranger does you a good deed, Libra, has been missing for days and I reckon ideas later, you’ll let the impulse pass. In the end, you will be flummoxed: you never knew that kind- one of those Muslims got a hold of him when it turns out that you never got pen to paper, ness like this existed in the world. In your surprise, and served him up for dinner. He was you will be left with the vague and uneasy feeling C you’ll forget to thank him and he’ll walk away think- a lovely dog and now he’s in their bel- that you’ve forgotten something very important. ing you’re an asshole. lies.” Beryl is not keen to leave the area O her family has lived in for decades, but CAPRICORN AQUARIUS she is beginning to feel like she has no You might feel a little vulnerable this week, Capri- An alignment of Jupiter and Mars guarantees, choice, “those searchlight things they corn. Naked, even. It’ll probably be due to the fact P keep shining out of that place messed Aquarius, that you’ll put on a kilogram this week. that you’re not wearing any clothes. Go put some Probably all that birthday cake you ate last month. up my Christmas display last year. I pants on. couldn’t put my family through another E Christmas like that.” LEO VIRGO You’re about to meet a tall, dark stranger, Leo. S Buy a lottery ticket, Virgo, and define the term Next week, Piers Akerman investigates And he’s going to steal your wallet. ‘idiot tax’. whether Nauru is still a tourist hotspot for bird shit, or Sharia enclave

FOLLOW US ON TWITTER - @THE_SOIN: BREAKING: glass as Taylor Swift sings live [@THE_SOIN] NEED 140 CHAR- FOLLOW US ON TWITTER - @THE_SOIN: OBAMA BEST PRESIDENT EVER: kills bin Laden, Chavez [@THE_SOIN] 23 Authorised by Jade Tyrrell, NUS National President 2013