ON THE BI-LEVEL 25th Anniversary Edition, March 2010 Happy Birthday to us Way back in the winter of Sound Off started in October/ 1985 – less than a year after Metra November 1989 and quickly was born and just as we started became the most popular feature. using that name – of cials at the Sounding Board remained for Northeast Illinois Railroad Corp. letters about Metra policies and launched a little newsletter for its operations. passengers. No celebration of OTBL is The goal was to promote safety complete without a mention of and give periodic updates about Chris Knapton, the rst spokes happenings at Metra while also man for Metra and the creator offering our riders a way to com of OTBL. Mr. Knapton refused plain about problems and pass on to do the usual stuffy corporate suggestions. The quote that began newsletter and insisted that he the rst issue summed up the pur be allowed to publish com pose perfectly: “If you don’t tell it plaints, so that Metra could like it is, you’ll never get it like it make things better. His biting ought to be.” humor and un inching hon The title t that theme, al esty shows through in the rst though the pun was clearer in the 11 years of the newsletter. He original punctuation: On the (Bi) retired in 1996 and died two Level. It said: We’re going to level years later. with you, the riders of our bi level Join us now, as we look coaches. (A redesign in October back at our rst 25 years. 2002 dropped the parentheses in We couldn’t have made it favor of a hyphen.) this far, and we couldn’t It didn’t take long for the two have made it this good, main features to debut. Sounding without our dedicated Board started in the fall of 1985, riders and loyal readers. initially as the catch all title for It’s a cliche, but it’s true: letters to Metra. It soon became we really can’t make this apparent that riders wanted to vent stuff up. about other riders, and a separate Keep those letters coming. You can view this fi rst OTBL at www.metrarail.com.
want peace and quiet also have ride ticket to be used by an get through the crowd.” 1985 rights.” unlimited number of people, we’d Spring/Summer Sounding “Even though the people First Sounding Board, Fall be out of business. Board who listen to radios use ear ( rst headphone gripe) January Sounding Board Special Message to the Feet plugs, they sometimes play their “I don’t understand why peo on Seat Set: Don’t do it. If you devices so loud that we can hear 1986 ple insist on blocking the foyer persist, the train crews will tell them all over the car. Music “I thought my husband and I and aisles waiting for their stop. your mother. players have a right to play their could share a monthly ticket?” Twice I have not been able to get And those of you who prop music, but we passengers who If we allowed our unlimited off the train because I couldn’t (continued on next page)
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your brogans on the upper deck only to nd… railings (dropping street grime 1988 Diagnosis: A totally mo on riders below) should never call Metra, Amtrak and the freight nopolistic, egotistical and sel sh us and complain about trainmen carriers have had several terrible individual has placed personal On the Bi-Level who enforce the rules. incidents in recent months that articles on three seats! wouldn’t have happened if pedes Published by Metra’s Media Fall Cure: Dr. Diesel commands Relations Department. Send trians stayed behind the crossing you to cease and desist. Keep it letters, questions or feedback to gates – as the automobiles do – “First it was up, and we may consider charging On the Bi-Level, Metra, 547 W. until the way is obviously clear. you three fares! Jackson, Chicago IL, 60661- transistor radios, now Railroaders hate to hurt, maim or May 5717. Or e-mail onthebilevel@ portable telephones. kill anyone. We hate it most when metrarr.com. The man next to me We can’t guarantee all letters they are young people. PLEASE “Why do you offer a student will be printed or answered. talked on his por HELP. PASS THE WORD. Please keep letters to less than table phone for 20 fare to kids in high school and STAY BEHIND THE GATES. 200 words and include your fi rst minutes and most grade school, but not to those Spring name, hometown and what line of his fellow pas of us in pursuit of higher educa you ride. (Names are not re- sengers heard the tion?” quired but strongly encouraged.) Malady of the Month It’s easy. You’re not a “kid.” We reserve the right to edit letter conversation.” for length and grammar. Fall Sound Symptom: Commuter experi Reduced fares are provided for ing Board ( rst ences extreme dif culty lifting elementary and high school cell phone gripe) Board of Directors feet off oor. students because it is presumed Diagnosis: Orange juice, soft they have no income. …“Higher” Carole R. Doris 1987 drink, coffee or other potable education, on the other hand, Chairman Metra News: Metra spilled on oor, leaving sticky, presumes you have put yourself DuPage County gets OK to purchase Illinois disgusting residue. in a position to buy schooling Larry Huggins Central Gulf electric lines and Cure: Dr. Diesel pleads with over and above what society Vice Chairman operate as Metra Electric. you to be a bit more careful. provides gratis. You are now an Chicago Spring Unfortunately, mopping up after adult. Welcome to the world of Jack Schaffer every run is a physical impossi paying for what you get. Metra Treasurer “I thought I was on the Chi bility. Please help us. will consider reduced fares for McHenry County cago & North Western. What the Fall college students only when the heck is Metra?” oil companies begin selling them Arlene J. Mulder Metra is the brand name that Secretary 1989 gasoline at half price. Suburban Cook County we stuck on the whole system of August commuter trains in northeast Il “Haven’t you noticed that people who lean their heads on Jim Dodge linois once we hired a marketing This compilation of (almost) Director director in 1984 whose rst ques the windows to sleep leave greasy Suburban Cook County verbatim plaints, remarks and tion was, “OK, what’s the name stuff (i.e., hair spray, gel, spritz, mousse, Vitalis, etc.) all over the quips will apply a small dose of James C. LaBelle of the product I’ve been hired to glass? The slime remains there not so subtle peer pressure in an Director promote?” …Northeast Illinois effort to resolve those areas of Lake County for months, and I can’t even see Railroad Corporation was too chronic concern long to print on a train ticket, out the win Edward W. Paesel dow. Gross! to you, the Director NIRC sounded nerdy and so we Hasn’t anyone “Metra will consider Metra rider. If Suburban Cook County settled for Metra.” you’ve got a Spring Sounding Board at Metra heard reduced fares for Jack E. Partelow of Windex?” gripe, present it college students only in a witty, liter Director Did you know? Will County Winter ate and slightly • That there is no average Me when the oil sardonic Willis E. Pennington Jr. tra commuter? You’re all above Malady of companies begin fashion and Director average in our book. the Month selling them gasoline send it to us. … Cook County • That the average Metra train Symptom: Does something is 4.9 cars long, but we’ve never at half price.” Caryl J. Van Overmeiren Commuter that happens seen one that looks like that? Director looks down on your train Kane County • That despite our chidings, the aisle of a get your goat? Tell us. We expose yokels in the upper deck still prop rush hour train and nds every goat getters. William A. Widmer III their Guccis on the railing and Director seat lled. Spotting what appear Introduction to the rst Sound Suburban Cook County pepper the folks below with street to be empty seats at the far end of Off, October/November grime? Knock it off. Someone the coach’s upper level, he drags Philip A. Pagano will call you below average. his weary bones up the stairs, (continued on next page) Executive Director Summer
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“If our ‘scents’ offend you, late?’ Charlie’s reply was, ‘Oh wise up and use some ‘common @%!$%*&!! I drove today!’’’ The Perfect Rider sense’ – don’t ride the train. I February Sound Off don’t know of any woman, let The perfect rider doesn’t snore, “It is very rude to make loud alone any man, who would give Or shell his peanuts on the oor up something they enjoy because slurping and sipping sounds it offends a total stranger. Good while drinking hot coffee. … Or spill his coffee like a ood luck on the expressway!” These same people often buy That turns your shoes a shade of mud December Sound Off those grossly oversized stale He doesn’t smell of spicy food, donuts packed in cellophane, Has no B.O., is never rude. and their crumbs cascade around 1990 them and others. Combine their “Oh please, give me a break. eating noise with the slurping The perfect rider’s ngernails These whiners who write to you and it sounds like a German Are never clipped while on the rails should all be condemned to rid shepherd on a hambone.” And when it rains he keeps his feet ing CTA for a month.” June Sound Off Metra Responds: We Off the rail above your seat agree, though we never Metra News: After He never stands up in the aisle intended to present several months dis Before we reach the nal mile riders’ gripes as cussing, debating, anything more perusing letters The perfect rider hogs no seat than minor ir and petitions and With purse or package or his/her feet ritations (we trying hard to nd realize we’re not a compromise, Applies no makeup, wears no scent, addressing world the Metra Board Nor aps the Tribune like a tent. hunger or acid concluded that Engages in no lewd palaver – rain here). “Sound smoking cars will The perfect rider? A cadaver. Off” is a humor have to go. ...We February 1991 reader submission to Sound Off ous (we hope!) way trust the losers will of confronting stress not hate us and the inducing behavior winners will in hopes of not rub it in. “As far as I am concerned, rude way to turn pages. The eradicating July 1990 anybody who is dumb enough to polite way is quietly and the rude (or at least block the aisles well in advance way is to do it loudly. The loud minimizing) of a station so people can’t stand way is torture.” it. …Nevertheless, your point “I couldn’t believe it when up to get their coats on is incon (Note: The off the scale is well taken, so … we’ll try to one rider on the upper level siderate, rude and thinking of pettiness of this complaint ll next month’s “Sound Off” shelled a whole bag of peanuts themselves only.” prompted a sarcastic Tribune with a whole bunch of very short on the way home one December Sound Off editorial, “Metra, the way to reports on “Great Things That evening and left a pile really cry.” The editorial said, Have Happened to Me on the of shells on the train “There is a “Judging by Sound Off, Metra Train.” oor. Where did he 1991 trains whizzing by are bubbling “Not every seat January Sound Off think he was, Wrigley polite way to cauldrons of fear and loathing hog complaint is Field?” turn pages waiting to erupt in rolling riots.” Much to our surprise, we October justi ed. Too many That quote became the rst one were overwhelmed with letters… Sound Off and there is a Metra riders are us featured in the “Sound Off” “The Burlington Northern is rude way to ing this argument to introduction.) hide their true col better than any singles dance – I “I make it my turn pages.” July Sound Off met my husband on the train.” business to stand up ors – they’re elitist “How’s this? I sat down next ve to ten minutes yuppies who judge “I saw a totally unbelievable to a very pleasant young lady in before the train pulls people as undesir phenomenon on an escalator up July 1988 and struck up a con in. As far as I am able because they to Canal Street in Union Station versation. Married the lady last concerned, you have no manners don’t look like Patrick Swayze or about a year ago. The escalator, September.” if you expect to get up immedi Kim Basinger!” packed with standing commuters, “Halfway home one night, ately after the train stops and cut June Sound Off suddenly came to a halt. Instead Ralph turned to Charlie and in front of me when I’ve been of walking when it stopped, these said, ‘Missed you on the train standing all this time.” “There is a polite way to turn (continued on next page) this morning – did you sleep November Sound Off [magazine] pages and there is a
E-MAIL US AT [email protected] 4 25 YEARS OF ON THE BI-LEVEL individuals simply stood there can’t just sit here. example. …Yes the word ‘bud and waited for the escalator to January effort to get people to get’ is in my vocabulary. So is start moving again. These people stop crossing live tracks at ‘BUTTHEAD.’” aren’t just lazy – they aren’t downtown terminals October Sound Off thinking.” August Sound Off “A writer in the August ‘Sound Off’ column, a self 1994 “Chatty people? Loud maga confessed ‘incessant chatterer,’ “Are trains of certain length zine ippers? A man making conveyed that he/she and seven supposed to stop at a given point disgusting noises? It’s time to others of that species celebrate on a platform or just where the ’fess up. You guys are making up birthdays, weddings, baby show engineer feels best?” these letters, right?” ers and the like during their Regular engineers holding We’re bright and even a bit “Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells 20 minute commute. One shud steady assignments generally witty sometimes, but even we (a little late I realize)! For most ders to imagine what this group get this down to the mere inches. aren’t creative enough to make of us, these sounds conjure up could do with the 70 minute ride Relief engineers (covering these missives up. pleasant sounds of holidays past. I have – perhaps enjoy a catered vacations, illness, etc.) often September Sound Off But on the Milwaukee West Line, seven course meal and dance a need a little practice. Braking they’re a daily nuisance. The jin conga line afterward?” a train is nothing like braking an automobile. A steel wheel on Metra News: Amtrak rededi gling on the train comes from car February Sound Off keys that people (mostly women, a steel rail doesn’t have much cates renovated Union Station. traction. Weather conditions, October I’m afraid) get out in advance of If Metra thought we could length of a train, extra ridership their stop. …To [get their keys eradicate rudeness from the face and other factors all come in to “Confucius say, ‘Do not out] three to ve minutes before of the earth, we’d stop running play. Most of all, engineers try expect solitude on a train car car their stop and then jingle and trains, open up charm schools to avoid SUDDEN stops. Better rying 80 people.’” jangle the keys all the time is and make millions. an irritating and inconsiderate to overshoot a little than to have Response to seat hogger standees falling in the aisles. habit.” complaint, March Sound Off “May I suggest a car desig January Sounding Board nated for garlic munchers and July Sound Off perfume bathers so the rest of us “The recklessly open elitism can enjoy ourselves?” “My letter is directed at All of your correspondents may be a “If you are going to let fools October Sound Off Public Riders who were born cry of helpless anger over soci run in harm’s way, so be it. …At void of tolerance and live in a ety’s trend toward equality and least stop lamenting about safety vacuum where the Earth, Sun elimination of class privilege.” in your columns and get on to 1992 and Moon all revolve around you May Sound Off other topics.” “It amazes me how a person and nobody else….” Metra Sez: The who can carry full bags of food, “What really “It’s time to tone of your letter cans and cups onto the train “‘Sound Off’ – what a laugh. amuses me is that re ects exactly the becomes suddenly, miraculously I think the appropriate title those writers to last ’fess up. You exasperation rail incapable of taking those same would be ‘B ing (means com month’s ‘Sound guys are making roaders feel when items off the train when they are plaining, ll in the blanks) Off.’” Off’ don’t know we realize that empty. You people are slobs, and August Sound Off how to ask for a up these letters, intelligence can lazy ones at that.” seat without feeling right?” not be legislated. January Sound Off “My dear commuter friends, guilty or fearful But we rise above next time we’re at the last stop, of being turned to exasperation and “Smokers have no absolutely and you see me slumped down stone. As far as I know, Lot’s have decided to be numbingly no right to jeopardize my health and still snoozing in my seat, wife was the last person so af repetitious. by their inconsiderate and child would you please save me the icted and even she was only May Sound Off ish habit…” embarrassment of a ride to the turned to salt.” Metra sez: We omitted the yard by tapping me (in a friendly June Sound Off “I am amazed that you con last sentence of this letter (some manner, of course) on the shoul done the attitude expressed by thing about lit cigarettes and der?” “You are obviously encour the ‘Bears repeating’ person in anatomy). September/October Sound Off aging the severely constipated the May issue. By what preemi February Sound Off to pick up and play with sharp nent right do some people rush instruments (like a pen, for from the back of the train to Metra News: Infamous Loop 1993 example). The mope who wrote the front so they can be rst off ood washes Metra personnel out This little newsletter won’t complaining about riders who – blocking others from getting of HQ building for three weeks. change the world, or even hope to pay for their weekly/monthly out of their seats in an orderly April make a dent in lifestyles. But we passes by check is a prime fashion?”
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Metra Sez: We don’t “con Metra News: C&NW was morning, yet once the doors open conversations seem annoying, it’s done attitudes.” We just print jokingly called the “Can’t & and the people start getting out, time to take relaxation classes or your letters and hope you all get Never Will.” At Metra, we the commuters who’ve chosen buy earplugs. What’s next? As along. always knew they Could. We to stay seated decide it’s their signed seats? Let’s grow up and June Sound Off surely know they Did. So long, prerogative to cut into the line of carry ourselves like adults.” old friend. Hi there, Uncle Pete people who’ve been standing for January/February Sound Off (Note: Dennis Byrne col [Union Paci c]. Welcome to the ve or ten minutes.” umn about OTBL in June 12 world of left handed railroading. June Sound Off Metra News: Metra christens Sun Times gives “Sound Off” a April 1995 the renamed Ogilvie Transporta new intro quote: “...setting new “To equate prematurely tion Center after a $141 million standards of thoughtlessness, “A reply to the person who standing in the aisles with wait renovation. grouchiness, pettiness, elitism or wrote in July’s ‘Sound Off’ ing in line is a preposterous October self absorption.”) regarding children notion.” “What a commuting with July Sound Off “I nd it plain rude when As we’ve said parents: the last time people cough or sneeze with on these pages spoiled, whining I checked, Metra is Metra News: Metra launches out covering their mouths. It’s before, good bunch of people public transportation, North Central Service, the Chi especially irritating when it’s manners can’t be there are who not self absorbed cago area’s rst new commuter the person behind me and I can legislated. But bad personal transporta rail line in more than 70 years. feel the wind on the back of my manners can be commute on tion. ...Shame also August head.” publicized! Metra.” goes to Metra for Nov./Dec. Sound Off September printing such a let “To the women who whip out Sounding Board ter.” makeup trunks and spend Metra Sez: If we printed only 40 minutes painting Metra News: One cartwheel compliments and other butter their faces and comb and one cracked skull later and scotch, who’d read this rag? ing and brushing their you draw the attention of the September Sound Off split ends through many PI lawyers who ride, and the air: spare that does not please our Claims Metra News: Metra’s address me the ‘I don’t Dept. Therefore skates MUST on the Internet is: http//www. have time’ NOT BE WORN on trains. metrarail.com. It’s not for e mail, routine. Get up October 1994 it’s schedules and other informa earlier and get tion only. (Neat graphics!) dressed at “I realize our legal system November/December 1995 home like ev must ourish, but let’s charge the eryone else.” going rate for two seats. Many August/ passengers are standing.” September Sound Off October Sound Off complaint 1996 about a lawyer hogging more than “I read this newsletter 1998 “She never stated what the one seat for a mobile of ce regularly and am forced to real “January’s ‘Sound Off’ con ize – month after month – what reason for her gripe was. Did tained a letter from a rider with “Listen pal, I get on the train a spoiled, whining bunch of something horrible happen, like some suggestions for others. In rst and ride for a long time. I people there are who commute someone’s eyeliner pencil ac order to be considerate, everyone need to do my work while I com on Metra.” cidentally launching and pop is advised to refrain from sleep mute home. If you’re so bothered January Sound Off ping her on the head, resulting in ing, coughing, sneezing, putting by this, sit in another car.” stitches?” on makeup, using computers, December Sound Off response Note to the Cary customer Metra Sez: The high power talking, getting in others’ way, from lawyer who erroneously who lled two pages comment of the OTBL court, having voted etc. …This rider is obviously thinks he’s been ngered ing on the fare increase, subur on this issue (50/50 gender for taking the wrong train. Instead ban station hours, the fact that a non biased opinion), hereby of riding Metra, I suggest he/she 1995 our advertising just brings more rules the application of makeup contact a freight carrier to in “To draft a public rebuttal people to crowd the trains and on the train an acceptable prac quire about the times and routes whose thesis statement is ‘If then ended by writing “I bet you tice. Case adjourned! of boxcars carrying department you’re so bothered by this, sit in won’t print this”: You win. November Sound Off store mannequins.” another car,’ is nothing short of April 1996 February Sound Off bizarre! Your moral vacuity is fearsome to behold.” “I’m annoyed by commuters 1997 “Get a life! You’re obviously January Sound Off response who don’t bother to stand up as “If a person’s concentration to the seat hogging lawyer the train pulls into Chicago each is so poor that simple, friendly (continued on next page)
E-MAIL US AT [email protected] 6 25 YEARS OF ON THE BI-LEVEL spending too much time minding ter to do, I’m writing to complain everyone else’s business. …If I ‘Most outrageous letter ever’ about people who have nothing have to sneeze, I have to sneeze. better to do than to complain And you have nothing to say The seat hogger debate has been with us almost from the very about people who have nothing about it!” beginning. But most of the time it’s a one sided argument. That’s better to do than complain.” March Sound Off because everyone has seen a seat hogger with their own eyes, January/February Sound Off yet no one ever admits to being one or, even worse, stands up to brazenly defend the practice. That changed in April 1998 when “Rude riders have always “Recently, on an early morn we printed what we later called “perhaps the most outrageous been in need of a conduct code, ing train from Big Timber, when letter ever received by OTBL.” Here is the letter, and some of the but the offering in a recent I went to retrieve my bag it was numerous responses that followed in May: ‘Sound Off’ section was a little gone! I think it was stolen by “I have some questions for riders who board the train and ask over the top. …You sound like someone hoping to nd a laptop seated people to move their coats or bags so they can sit: Did you Captain Queeg ranting about or valuables inside. Actually, it ever think we discourage you from sitting with us because you can the stolen strawberries. Face it, was a Sunday school teachers’ walk to open seats further ahead? Even when there are no extra you’re a train Nazi!” guide. Whoever you are, you April Sound Of f seats and we’re asked to move belongings, why do you remain next may not have gotten what you to us when seats do become available? We work hard and would wanted, but you got something like a little room to stretch out. So keep this in mind next time you needed. Read the book, you 1999 when you are seat hunting.” “All the complainers embar have much to learn.” Metra Sez: We can hardly wait for seat hunters to answer your rass me! It’s probably because June Sound Off we’re dealing with suburbanites, questions. a k a whiners.” And did they ever: “Do you pay for two seats? I didn’t think so. Do you think we “The amount of perfume and February Sound Off don’t work hard? Do you think we are riding the train because we cologne worn by riders is nau have nothing else to do?” seating. …Incidentally, men are “You want to know why we stay next to you when seats the worst offenders – men should become available. REVENGE. Beware of me and others like me. smell like men, not perfume.” Not only do we linger in seats of those who like to spread out, we October Sound Off SEEK YOU OUT.” “You’re incredibly presumptuous to think your space is more important than everyone else’s!” 2001 “Why are there no restrooms “If you want a seat for your belongings, buy an extra ticket.” on Electric line trains? Are we “If I need a seat and your stuff is in it, that seat will become “What is it about men and not entitled to the same amenities mine. We all work hard and would prefer more room, but it doesn’t Kleenex? Have they never heard as riders on other lines?” always happen. I’m shocked by your absurdness!” of them?” The current Highliner coach “Only a very inconsiderate and rude person would claim to April Sound Off es were designed in pre Metra deserve an extra seat just because of working hard. We all do.” times over 30 years ago when “I ask you to move your stuff just to (*@# you off!” “At the end of a long, hard most riders boarded at closer in “Drive to work, you ignorant jerk!” summer day, please keep your stations for relatively short trips. shoes or loafers on during the May Sounding Board train ride. There is nothing more When we started this news ers to vent annoyances the way rude and obnoxious than having letter 15 years ago, we tried to be that we do. to breathe your foot odor and its “In response to the person educational. We explained what We have fun printing and you who’s annoyed by newspa airborne particles – no matter Metra was, what we could and have fun reading about the small how clean you think your feet per readers hitting his or her couldn’t do – and on and on until gripes and irritants associated head while napping, please be are!” it became more fun to print your with daily commuting. By pub August/September Sound Off informed that train seats are gripes about each other. Ever licizing bad etiquette, we make designed for sitting upright. The since, “Sound Off” has become you aware of what bugs others. space behind your seat belongs to Metra News: We welcome the an effective forum of customer It may even prompt some change new millennium with the utmost the person behind you.” exchange. in behavior. Without your wild Metra Sez: Most snoozers con dence in our Y2K readiness. Intended to present gripes wisecracks, we wouldn’t be quite August/September 1999 slouch in their seats instead of mainly as minor irritations, as readable or interesting. Keep craning their heads over the “Sound Off” gives you a chance the letters coming! “Next time, pee on the seats seatback, which would be in to blow off some steam, some December 1999 to ‘mark your territory’ and fringing “air rights.” thing many of you certainly seem howl. I guarantee no one will June Sound Off to enjoy. We know of no other attempt to sit near you.” 2000 company that allows its custom (continued on next page) December Sound Off “Because I have nothing bet
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“To those who think chil “A scent level should be es dren should not be on rush hour 2004 tablished and anyone who smells trains: Grow up. Or did you for “To the people who like to too loud should be told to stand get that you once were a child?” share the newspapers: I guess in the vestibule.” August Sound Off you haven’t seen the readers that June Sound Off sneeze right into the papers that “Hey Joe Pick Your Nose: We they are reading. And they are Metra News: Metra allows see you from the upper level and not little sneezes.” bikes on many trains for the rst not only are you grossing us out, March Sound Off time. I’m sure the people sitting around June “As pleasant as our daily you don’t appreciate your incon commute is, there’s one small siderate and disgusting habits.” “There seems to be a temper September Sound Off request that would make our ride ature control problem on some more enjoyable: more hunk con of your trains. Why does this “I would like to commend ductors, as in ‘top quality.’” happen?” his mouth onto my hair. Now August Sound Off Metra for their response to the that’s gross.” Thermostats are set between unusual circumstances of Sep July/August Sound Off “Why don’t conductors open 68 and 72 degrees. If the climate tember 11. You were ready for the doors on both sides of the seems too hot or cold, there the mass evacuation of the Loop “Don’t pick at your ears as train so customers who arrive could be a malfunction. In the after the tragedy at the World if you were excavating a tunnel; at a station’s non boarding side future, please tell a train crew so Trade Center.” this is disgusting. Don’t rotate with just a minute or less before they can address your concern November Sound Off your head round and round; it the train departs wouldn’t have to and request repairs, if necessary. may be relaxing to you but it still choose between running in front September Sounding Board “I have something to say to resembles a Linda Blair ‘Exor of the train to get to the other all the whiners, complainers and cist’ imitation.” side or missing the train?” nit pickers. Please, for just ve October Sound Off 2006 Conductors don’t do it be Metra News: UP West Line minutes, stop it and shut up!” cause they have a strong antipa December Sound Off extended to Elburn, SouthWest 2003 thy to customers being run over Service extended to Manhattan. by trains on the parallel track. “For those who really want to Winter 2002 occupy two seats, Metra should December Sounding Board “Loud talkers? Seat hogs? offer a PPP (Piggy Package Standees? Slobs? Maybe the time “I’m tired of people com Pass). …This way, fellow passen has come to designate a ‘com plaining about cell phones. gers would have no right to feel 2005 plainer’ car.” Some people obviously fail to resentful because a ticket was “The worst seat hog violators January/February Sound Off realize that there’s no difference purchased for the seat.” are those who hog four seats. between cell phone conversa April/May The rst is used “It always amazes me to hear tions and people talking on the Sound Off “One small for their coat, the the outraged bleatings of liberal second for their train. Hey people, this is public elites when their claimed per “To the writer request would briefcase or bags, transportation, not church or a sonal privileges are questioned.” who submitted the third for their library.” make our ride April Sound Off the laundry list opened laptop “Last month in Arlington for newspaper more enjoyable: and the last one Park someone ran in front of the readers: should I more hunk (directly in front “Yes, there is a difference train. The engineer got on the leave my muf n conductors, as in of the laptop) between cell phone conversations PA and explained that he can’t and coffee for you for their sel sh and people talking on the train, stop quickly, and although he has as well, so that you ‘top quality.’” selves.” a big difference. If you’d get off never put anyone in the hospital may have great February your cell phone, you’d be able to he has put two in the cemetery pleasure reading Sound Off tell.” and doesn’t want to make it the newspaper you asked me to June Sound Off three.” donate to you? How do you take As sure as spring is guar April Sound Off your coffee?” anteed to bring crabgrass and Metra News: Jeffrey R. Ladd, December Sound Off weeds, winter weather introduces the only chairman Metra has “Recently some little piggy the perennial problem of seat ever known, stepped down last was chomping on an apple with Metra News: The Metra hoggism. Unfortunately, the month after 22 years leading the his mouth open. I’m writing Board of Directors voted Nov. solution isn’t found in little green railroad. because as he was chomping, 18 to remove the electronic gates bottles of lawn care products, it July smacking and talking, small can only be found in you. from the Metra Electric District. (continued on next page) ecks of apple de ected out of December March
E-MAIL US AT [email protected] 8 25 YEARS OF ON THE BI-LEVEL MARCH 2010
“Today I saw an all time rst. The folks who just want some on me. ... After I made out the servations by Metra’s customers ...A young brunette began fum quiet time before or after work police report in Tinley Park and about fellow commuters ... offer bling with her purse, pulled out will soon have no other choice then made a report with Metra some of the best free entertain a can of aerosol hair spray and than asking these people to Police and went home to pack, ment around.”) began spraying her hair. The man stop. If that leads to confronta I overslept, missed my ight, behind her gagged a bit but no tions MAYBE METRA WILL and had to go standby. But the “Pointing to the stimulus ad one said a word. Unbelievable! FINALLY DO SOMETHING to great news is that vantages you mention I am never going to complain alleviate this problem.” after I checked into a $71 million project about cell phones again.” In a civilized society, one my hotel and on my will save 62 jobs. I’d August Sound Off doesn’t throw down just because way up to my room, feel better if you did another is talking in a public I threw $20 into a not brag like that. I Metra News: Downers Grove place. We remind you that this Wheel of Fortune have 61 friends will resident Carole Doris became isn’t your private sleeping car slot machine and hit ing to give up our jobs just the second chairman in the just as it’s not loudmouth’s pri a progressive jackpot for just $62 million to commuter railroad’s 22 year vate chat room. Asking people to of $168,137.69. After split between us – and history after being elected by a stop is what happens everyday, taxes I was able to the treasury would be unanimous vote of the Board of on every train in the civilized pay off my mortgage $9 million ahead!” Directors last month. world. and have a heck of a Ah, but we September September Sound Off vacation. If it were wouldn’t get reno not for that altercation vated locomotives out 2007 2008 resulting in me miss of the deal, would we? Metra News: Metra christens Metra News: Metra’s bar cars ing my ight, I would never have That’s the main goal of spending the new Millennium Station. serve their last drinks. been at that machine at that point the money. We’re sure you could do a lot of stimulating things March August in time to win. December Sound Off with a million bucks, but can you “I think all the monthly “To the guy who is constantly pull a nine car train? gripes about cell phones, multi making those hacking noises 2009 July Sounding Board seat takers, etc., all funnel into with his throat and sinuses, “Why do Metra trains run on the same gripe. Ignorance. I’ve please get better soon.” the LEFT side of the railway?” “The loudest, most annoying been riding Metra for three years October Sound Off Not all of them do it’s just person we have to deal with ... is now and I nd it comical the what are now the Union Paci c one of the conductors. Today he regression to pre teen attitudes lines. The most plausible theory loudly, and poorly, sang happy you see on the train. ...In the end, is that the lines originally had a birthday to a passenger. ...Based there is no answer for Metra for single track, with the depots on on the groans and grimaces I saw these issues, because these child the left side (as you head down today, I am far from the only pas ish actions would require child town). When a second track was senger that is tired of this.” ish sanctions like timeouts, and added, it was easiest to put it to We forwarded your complaint I don’t think the state legislature the right of the rst track, since to the right people at UP. They would be willing to give them the depots were taking up space had a word with the conductor to that power. on the left side. remind him that singing happy April Sound Off But the rst track remained birthday, while a nice gesture, is the inbound track, because a) the not an appropriate use of the in “Since when is it allowed for depots were all on that side, and tercom system. A few days later, someone to take off his or her you want the sheltered waiting we got the following e mail: shoes and hang his or her feet areas for inbound riders since “On Tuesday, one of the con over the ledge of the upper level? “I just have to ‘sound off’ most people waiting at the sta ductors had the audacity to bring …If that wasn’t bad enough, over the ticket designs. Come on. tion are heading downtown, and a moment of levity to our trip by many times he moved his foot Kids’ drawings belong on their b) the railroad didn’t want to singing the happy birthday song over the knee of the other leg parents’ refrigerators. Why do pay or couldn’t afford to pay to over the intercom to a passenger and began picking his toes and you subject the rest of us to this move them or build overpasses named Sue. For this offense, at removing whatever from between scribble?!” or underpasses. least one of my fellow travelers and in back of his toes.” February Sounding Board felt the need to complain to Me June Sound Off “I would like to sincerely tra, who then in turn chastised thank the rude, short, chubby (Note: Guy Tridgell column said conductor to prevent any “Metra tries to make light crazy woman (you know who about OTBL in the March 13 further outbursts of light hearted of the rudeness of those people you are because you told me you SouthtownStar gives “Sound behavior.” who think the Metra cars are read this column) who called me Off” its third and current intro Sheesh. We can’t win. their own private chat rooms. ugly and threw her glass of water quote: “The snarky, snotty ob August Sound Off
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