ON THE BI-LEVEL 25th Anniversary Edition, March 2010 Happy Birthday to us Waybackinthewinterof SoundOffstartedinOctober/ 1985–lessthanayearafterMetra November1989andquickly wasbornandjustaswestarted becamethemostpopularfeature. usingthatname–of cialsatthe SoundingBoardremainedfor NortheastIllinoisRailroadCorp. lettersaboutMetrapoliciesand launchedalittlenewsletterforits operations. passengers. NocelebrationofOTBLis Thegoalwastopromotesafety completewithoutamentionof andgiveperiodicupdatesabout ChrisKnapton,the rstspokes- happeningsatMetrawhilealso manforMetraandthecreator offeringourridersawaytocom- ofOTBL.Mr.Knaptonrefused plainaboutproblemsandpasson todotheusualstuffycorporate suggestions.Thequotethatbegan newsletterandinsistedthathe the rstissuesummedupthepur- beallowedtopublishcom- poseperfectly:“Ifyoudon’ttellit plaints,sothatMetracould likeitis,you’llnevergetitlikeit makethingsbetter.Hisbiting oughttobe.” humorandun inchinghon- Thetitle tthattheme,al- estyshowsthroughinthe rst thoughthepunwasclearerinthe 11yearsofthenewsletter.He originalpunctuation:Onthe(Bi) retiredin1996anddiedtwo Level.Itsaid:We’regoingtolevel yearslater. withyou,theridersofourbi-level Joinusnow,aswelook coaches.(AredesigninOctober backatour rst25years. 2002droppedtheparenthesesin Wecouldn’thavemadeit favorofahyphen.) thisfar,andwecouldn’t Itdidn’ttakelongforthetwo havemadeitthisgood, mainfeaturestodebut.Sounding withoutourdedicated Boardstartedinthefallof1985, ridersandloyalreaders. initiallyasthecatch-alltitlefor It’sacliche,butit’strue: letterstoMetra.Itsoonbecame wereallycan’tmakethis apparentthatriderswantedtovent stuffup. aboutotherriders,andaseparate Keepthoseletterscoming. You can view this fi rst OTBL at www.metrarail.com. wantpeaceandquietalsohave ridetickettobeusedbyan getthroughthecrowd.” 1985 rights.” unlimitednumberof people,we’d Spring/SummerSounding “Eventhoughthepeople FirstSoundingBoard,Fall beoutofbusiness. Board wholistentoradiosuseear ( rstheadphonegripe) JanuarySoundingBoard SpecialMessagetotheFeet- plugs,theysometimesplaytheir “Idon’tunderstandwhypeo- on-SeatSet:Don’tdoit.Ifyou devicessoloudthatwecanhear 1986 pleinsistonblockingthefoyer persist,thetraincrewswilltell themalloverthecar.Music “IthoughtmyhusbandandI andaisleswaitingfortheirstop. yourmother. playershavearighttoplaytheir couldshareamonthlyticket?” TwiceIhavenotbeenabletoget Andthoseofyouwhoprop music,butwepassengerswho Ifweallowedourunlimited- offthetrainbecauseIcouldn’t (continuedonnextpage) WWW.METRARAIL.COM 2 25 YEARS OF ON THE BI-LEVEL yourbrogansontheupperdeck onlyto nd… railings(droppingstreetgrime 1988 Diagnosis:Atotallymo- onridersbelow)shouldnevercall Metra,Amtrakandthefreight nopolistic,egotisticalandsel sh usandcomplainabouttrainmen carriershavehadseveralterrible individualhasplacedpersonal On the Bi-Level whoenforcetherules. incidentsinrecentmonthsthat articlesonthreeseats! wouldn’thavehappenedifpedes- Published by Metra’s Media Fall Cure:Dr.Dieselcommands Relations Department. Send triansstayedbehindthecrossing youtoceaseanddesist.Keepit letters, questions or feedback to gates–astheautomobilesdo– “Firstitwas up,andwemayconsidercharging On the Bi-Level, Metra, 547 W. untilthewayisobviouslyclear. youthreefares! Jackson, Chicago IL, 60661- transistorradios,now Railroadershatetohurt,maimor May 5717. Or e-mail onthebilevel@ portabletelephones. killanyone.Wehateitmostwhen metrarr.com. Themannexttome We can’t guarantee all letters theyareyoungpeople.PLEASE “Whydoyouofferastudent will be printed or answered. talkedonhispor- HELP.PASSTHEWORD. Please keep letters to less than tablephonefor20 faretokidsinhighschooland STAYBEHINDTHEGATES. 200 words and include your fi rst minutesandmost gradeschool,butnottothose Spring name, hometown and what line ofhisfellowpas- ofusinpursuitofhighereduca- you ride. (Names are not re- sengersheardthe tion?” quired but strongly encouraged.) MaladyoftheMonth It’seasy.You’renota“kid.” We reserve the right to edit letter conversation.” for length and grammar. FallSound- Symptom:Commuterexperi- Reducedfaresareprovidedfor ingBoard( rst encesextremedif cultylifting elementaryandhighschool cellphonegripe) Board of Directors feetoff oor. studentsbecauseitispresumed Diagnosis:Orangejuice,soft theyhavenoincome.…“Higher” Carole R. Doris 1987 drink,coffeeorotherpotable education,ontheotherhand, Chairman MetraNews:Metra spilledon oor,leavingsticky, presumesyouhaveputyourself DuPage County getsOKtopurchaseIllinois disgustingresidue. inapositiontobuyschooling Larry Huggins CentralGulfelectriclinesand Cure:Dr.Dieselpleadswith overandabovewhatsociety Vice Chairman operateasMetraElectric. youtobeabitmorecareful. providesgratis.Youarenowan Chicago Spring Unfortunately,moppingupafter adult.Welcometotheworldof Jack Schaffer everyrunisaphysicalimpossi- payingforwhatyouget.Metra Treasurer “IthoughtIwasontheChi- bility.Pleasehelpus. willconsiderreducedfaresfor McHenry County cago&NorthWestern.Whatthe Fall collegestudentsonlywhenthe heckisMetra?” oilcompaniesbeginsellingthem Arlene J. Mulder Metraisthebrandnamethat Secretary 1989 gasolineathalf price. Suburban Cook County westuckonthewholesystemof August commutertrainsinnortheastIl- “Haven’tyounoticedthat peoplewholeantheirheadson Jim Dodge linoisoncewehiredamarketing Thiscompilationof(almost) Director directorin1984whose rstques- thewindowstosleepleavegreasy Suburban Cook County verbatimplaints,remarksand tionwas,“OK,what’sthename stuff(i.e.,hairspray,gel,spritz, mousse,Vitalis,etc.)alloverthe quipswillapplyasmalldoseof James C. LaBelle oftheproductI’vebeenhiredto glass?Theslimeremainsthere not-so-subtlepeerpressureinan Director promote?”…NortheastIllinois efforttoresolvethoseareasof Lake County formonths,andIcan’tevensee RailroadCorporationwastoo chronicconcern longtoprintonatrainticket, outthewin- Edward W. Paesel dow.Gross! toyou,the Director NIRCsoundednerdyandsowe Hasn’tanyone “Metrawillconsider Metrarider.If Suburban Cook County settledforMetra.” you’vegota SpringSoundingBoard atMetraheard reducedfaresfor Jack E. Partelow ofWindex?” gripe,presentit collegestudentsonly inawitty,liter- Director Didyouknow? Will County Winter ateandslightly •ThatthereisnoaverageMe- whentheoil sardonic Willis E. Pennington Jr. tracommuter?You’reallabove Maladyof companiesbegin fashionand Director averageinourbook. theMonth sellingthemgasoline sendittous.… Cook County •ThattheaverageMetratrain Symptom: Doessomething is4.9carslong,butwe’venever athalf price.” Caryl J. Van Overmeiren Commuter thathappens seenonethatlookslikethat? Director looksdown onyourtrain Kane County •Thatdespiteourchidings, theaisleofa getyourgoat?Tellus.Weexpose yokelsintheupperdeckstillprop rush-hourtrainand ndsevery goat-getters. William A. Widmer III theirGuccisontherailingand Director seat lled.Spottingwhatappear Introductiontothe rstSound Suburban Cook County pepperthefolksbelowwithstreet tobeemptyseatsatthefarendof Off,October/November grime?Knockitoff.Someone thecoach’supperlevel,hedrags Philip A. Pagano willcallyoubelowaverage. hiswearybonesupthestairs, (continuedonnextpage) Executive Director Summer WWW.METRARAIL.COM MARCH 2010 3 “Ifour‘scents’offendyou, late?’Charlie’sreplywas,‘Oh wiseupandusesome‘common @%!$%*&!!Idrovetoday!’’’ ThePerfectRider sense’–don’tridethetrain.I FebruarySoundOff don’tknowofanywoman,let Theperfectriderdoesn’tsnore, “Itisveryrudetomakeloud aloneanyman,whowouldgive Orshellhispeanutsonthe oor upsomethingtheyenjoybecause slurpingandsippingsounds itoffendsatotalstranger.Good whiledrinkinghotcoffee.… Orspillhiscoffeelikea ood luckontheexpressway!” Thesesamepeopleoftenbuy Thatturnsyourshoesashadeofmud DecemberSoundOff thosegrosslyoversizedstale Hedoesn’tsmellofspicyfood, donutspackedincellophane, HasnoB.O.,isneverrude. andtheircrumbscascadearound 1990 themandothers.Combinetheir “Ohplease,givemeabreak. eatingnoisewiththeslurping Theperfectrider’s ngernails Thesewhinerswhowritetoyou anditsoundslikeaGerman Areneverclippedwhileontherails shouldallbecondemnedtorid- shepherdonahambone.” Andwhenitrainshekeepshisfeet ingCTAforamonth.” JuneSoundOff MetraResponds:We Offtherailaboveyourseat agree,thoughwenever MetraNews:After Heneverstandsupintheaisle intendedtopresent severalmonthsdis- Beforewereachthe nalmile riders’gripesas cussing,debating, anythingmore perusingletters Theperfectriderhogsnoseat thanminorir- andpetitionsand Withpurseorpackageorhis/herfeet ritations(we tryinghardto nd realizewe’renot acompromise, Appliesnomakeup,wearsnoscent, addressingworld theMetraBoard Nor apstheTribunelikeatent. hungeroracid concludedthat Engagesinnolewdpalaver– rainhere).“Sound smokingcarswill Theperfectrider?Acadaver. Off”isahumor- havetogo....We February1991readersubmissiontoSoundOff ous(wehope!)way trusttheloserswill ofconfrontingstress- nothateusandthe inducingbehavior winnerswill inhopesof notrubitin. “AsfarasIamconcerned, rudewaytoturnpages.The eradicating July1990 anybodywhoisdumbenoughto politewayisquietlyandtherude (oratleast blocktheaisleswellinadvance wayistodoitloudly.Theloud minimizing) ofastationsopeoplecan’tstand wayistorture.” it.…Nevertheless, yourpoint “Icouldn’tbelieveitwhen uptogettheircoatsonisincon- (Note:Theoff-the-scale iswelltaken,so…we’lltryto oneriderontheupperlevel siderate,rudeandthinkingof pettinessofthiscomplaint llnextmonth’s“SoundOff” shelledawholebagofpeanuts themselvesonly.” promptedasarcasticTribune withawholebunchofveryshort onthewayhomeone DecemberSoundOff editorial,“Metra,thewayto reportson“GreatThingsThat eveningandleftapile reallycry.”Theeditorialsaid, HaveHappenedtoMeonthe ofshellsonthetrain “Thereisa