10/18/2017

Identity Development For Webinar Outline Birth/First Parents Adopted Persons & Adoptive Parents • Influences on Identity Development

November 6, 2017 • Interventions for Positive Identity Formation [email protected] (518) 281‐8884 • Transracial Issues www.adoptioncounselingny.com

CULTURE PERSONAL HISTORY… COMMUNITY… Who Are You Military, medical RACE Neighborhood, language INTERESTS RELIGION VOCATION…Student, MARITAL ETHNICITY career STATUS SEXUAL FAMILY …history, ORIENTATION traditions, birth order, values FRIENDS PERSONAL CHARACTERISTICS…abilities, gender, looks, values

IDENTITY A Life Long Process

Donaldson Adoption Institute Beyond Culture Camp: Promoting Healthy Where You Are? Identity in Adoption

Home, Community, Online, Extended Family, Employment, With Individuals of Your Race/Culture, History, House of Workshop

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Foster Care & Adoption Communities Time in History Baby Scoop Era • • Family Court 1945‐ early1970s • Residential Treatment 1951‐‐‐ 33,800 infant Center 1970 peak of BSE • Special Education 89,200 infant adoptions

Options Counseling Extended Family Individualized assessment and information sharing process where women and men who are experiencing an untimely pregnancy are assisted in objectively evaluation their options for parenting, relinquishing their child for adoption, pregnancy termination, or temporarily having their child in foster care or with a relative

School Assignments Kinship Adoption

New Family Roles OR

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Race & Current Events

Adopted Individuals Get Message that Parents Can’t Handle Race Issues

Community that Reflects the Person

Racial Microaggressions Microaggressions Brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavioral, or environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative…slights and insults towards [the marginalized group ‐ Derald Sue 2007

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Society’s Message Adoption is Second Rate vs. Second Choice

Birth/First Parent Labels

• Labels placed on first/birth parents by society & family: –Irresponsible, Unfit –You’re selfish for wanting to raise your child when there are parents who can’t have a child out there

Identify as a Parent?

Birth / First Parent Identity Society’s labels for in Open Adoption Relationships adoptive parents • Issues around loss and shame may be • Damaged for not being able to procreate less • Role & title in relationship with • Not “real” parents adoptive family

• “Too bad you couldn’t have your own children”

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Sealed Records

Unique Birth Personal Birth Certificates with Family Traits Identity Adoptive Parents Names Adoptive Family Identity

Adoption/Foster care records sealed or Adopted Individual’s Identity limited

No Photos of Birth Relatives Genealogical Bewilderment

• Hard to define identity with little to no information

Fragmented Personal Narrative

• Reasons relinquishment happened • Birth Relatives Interests • Mannerisms • Medical history • Ethnicity • Race

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Relinquishment = Rejection Teenagers & Identity • Children often think • Identity issues become more of an issue for they are responsible for teenagers because: their relinquishment – A greater ability to think abstractly…how am I like my birth parents, my adoptive parents; • Children believe their more aware of how missing information poor coping skills & impacts them misbehaviors are – Increased time away from family provides because they are bad opportunities to define identity not that it is a result of – Time in life cycle to make decisions that help the trauma they have to define who they are…which group they experienced associate with, which vocation they choose

Late Discovery Adoptee Parenting that Promotes Positive Identity • Identity redefined Denial of Difference Acknowledgment of Difference • Self is redefined as relationship status David Kirk‐ Shared Fate 1964 changes Insistence of Difference David Brodzinsky Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self

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Acknowledging the Difference Means: Information is Vital Openly discussing: • Records should • All Information on Birth family be reread • Reasons for relinquishment • Agencies , • What it feels like to being adopted • Thinking about first parents workers & Acknowledging the former foster Adopted Individual’s parents Perception—Experience‐‐Reality contacted

Internet Voyeurism Life Books

Giving Voice to Their Narrative • Journaling • Authoring Books • Blogging • Documentaries

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DNA Testing Search & Reunion

Culture Race

• Music • Food • History • Culture Camp • Holiday Celebration Identity Redefined • Homeland Tours With New Information

Racial Identity Development • Children as young as 3 start to notice racial ethnic Importance of Racial Identity differences and will comment on their lack of “match” to their parents—does not mean they understand the concept of race • Children as young as 4 will notice that people of color are treated differently and language that is used when talking about racial & ethnic issues • Elementary school children will identify with the race and culture they are living • Teenagers often will try to bridge the gap between their race/culture with their parents and their race‐‐‐ reculturation • Adulthood‐ very common for persons of color to live in more racial diverse neighborhoods than they were raised in

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• Race is opening talked about Parenting • Prejudice, stereotypes, Parenting Tasks white privilege are Tasks that acknowledged Promote • Regular participation in community where child is in Positive Racial Identity the majority • Teach children educational & economic • Expose child to information opportunities often define a person’s about historical figures and experience context to why group is mistreated‐‐‐misunderstood • Learn values of child’s race, culture…i.e. hair care

Learning the Subtleties of Most Influential with Positive Race in Society Racial Identity in Transracial Adoption • Learning there is a wide variety of identities and experiences within a race Having • Code switching‐‐‐ Using different relationships with language, rules for different settings people of their race / ethnicity

Transracizlized Family Identity When Families Are Not Transracialized Concept developed by John Raible PhD. • Poor self‐esteem and a lack of tools By loving, caring for and becoming for handling racism and being a part of the native community of a person of color becomes a burden person of another race/culture for an • extended period of time…develop a Internalized Racism sophisticated appreciation of the • Research 2/3rds or more of differences of people of color and the transracially adopted individuals did issues of being a minority not identify with their racial status as children

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Amy Mihyang Ginther I just wanted to say… Closing • https://www.youtube.c Thoughts om/watch?v=ZOd6wLO UiPU

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