Thalia
Volume 1 | Issue 4 Article 1
2-1929 Thalia, Vol. 1, Issue 4 (February 1929)
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1 February, 1929 THALIA
Carter's Drug Store Eastman Films, etc. Developing, Printing and Enlarging The Chocolat' Shop Whitman's Chocolates 28 South Hanover Street JOHNS News had reached the village of Forksville that a motor-bus plying between the neighboring towns of Bumpton and Gush Hollow and gone over the side of a cliff with all on board. It was also known in Forksville that the wife of the much henpecked SODAS MARY LEE Bud Blodgett was en route to Gush Hollow via CANDIES the bus line. An interested villager immediately called on Bud. SALTED NUTS ''Ain't ye worred 'bout yer wife, Bud f " he asked. "Well," replied Bud, "I was fer a while, but FINE her cousin in Bumpton jest called up an' said she CONFECTIONS CIGARETTES saw Sal git on the bus with her own eyes." -American Legion Weekly. I I I 35 W. High Street
NO HELP WANTED To start with, Smith doesn't cut a distinguished figure in his evening clothes. In a fashionable res• Dorothy Steele taurant the other night, as he stood near the door waiting for his wife, a tall, pompous man came up Book Store and asked, "I say, my man, are you the head• waiter i " As quick as a fl.ash Smith answered, "No sir, but I heard him tell a young man this afternoon that he wasn't taking on any more help." -Exchange. Stationery I I I Judge (to culprit)-" So we caught you with this bundle of silverware, eh ! Whom did you rob t Luggage Inexperienced Burglar-'' Two fraternity houses, sir." Judge (to orderly)-" Call up all of the down• Picture Framing town hotels and have them claim this stuff.'' -Tech Puppet.
Eat in Catering to Strand Theatre Building Clover Parties Carlisle, Pennsylvania 141 WEST HIGH STREET, CARLISLE 2 THALIA February, 1929
CIGARS CIGARETTES TOBACCO Charles W. Burns, Dickinson '24 CARLISLE RECREATION CENTER Campaign Manager for 50 West High Street HOOVER AND SMITH, Jewelers PIPES CANDY SOFT DRINKS SHOESHINE PARLOR The Last Word in Pocket Billiard Tables Democrats and Republicans Both Satisfied
Oone morning one of the brothers at the house A fraternity had sent their curtains to the ./ became exuberent about a date he had had the cleaners. It was the second day that the house / nite before. "She was the hotest thing I have had stood unveiled. One morning the following seen in years, gee she had eyes like Dolores Del Rio, note arrived from a sorority across the avenue: say and she could 'show Clara Bow some it too, kiss oh! mommer and how, dance, Alice White ''Dear Sirs : might take lessons from her-" Say asked a "May we suggest that you procure curtains for brother "who might this girl chance to be?" windows? We do not care for a course in ana• tomy.'' He-Gee I forget her name. Frat-bro.-Where does she live? The chap who left his shaving to read the note He- I forgot to ask. answered: Frat-bro-Say maybe it was a dream? "Dear Girls: Ile-That's right it was a dream, (He eats at a ''The course is optional.'' restaurant now). -Ski-U-"Mah.
The Man Who "Bags at the Knees" Neglects His Photographs tell the Story True Personality MOORHEAD'S Especially, those made by Cleaning Pressing Repairing HOOVER, THE PHOTOGRAPHER All Work Guaranteed Formerly Forman's
Irate college President-Young man didn't you NOT FARE read the letter I sent you? Conductor-'' How old is this boy?'' Student-Yes sir, I read it inside and out, on Lady-'' Four.'' the inside you said "you are expelled until further Conductor-'' How old are you sonny t " notice'' on the outside you had ''return in five Sonny-'' Four.'' days'' so here I am sir. Conductor-'' Well, I '11 let him ride free this time, but r know what he's gonna be when he I I I grows up.'' Lady-'' What is he gonna be i " Handshaker-That's a very pretty child you Conductor-'' Either a liar or a giant.'' have there professor, what a lovely face, really noble features, what a magnificent head, it really -Jiidge. resembles its father, by the way .. could you pos• I I I sibly change that E to a D. Professor-No sir, I could not. Besides this To meet, to know, to love, to part, child belongs to my wife by a former husband. Is a sad, sad feeling to a school girl's heart.
Smokers' Supplies Fine Candies Drugs, Stationery H. M. TRAYER STEPHENS' DRUG STORE W. G. STEPHENS, '16 Carlisle's Leading Shoe Repairer Visit the Soda Grill Student Headquarters 143 WEST SOUTH STREET February, 1929 TH.ALI.A 3
''Er-Mr. Woodward, are you chewing gum in my olass i " It's No Joke For a Fellow to "Naw, this ain't gum; it's terbaccer." Pay So Many Pressing Bills ''Oh, I beg your pardon.'' -Texas Ranger.
And He Must Keep] [ Looking Neat CARLISLE DINER~ DINE WITH US Open Day and Nill.ht If you ever knew we pressed your W. High Street Carlisle, Pa. clothes (if bought here) as often as you wanted-FREE-you'd' join the crowd Mrs. Ladidah-'' I'm going to enter Fido in the that buys at Kronenberg's at once. dog-show next week.'' Friend-'' Do you think he will win] '' Good Clothes at Right Mrs, Ladidah-" No; but he '11 meet some nice dogs.'' Prices -:-Tid-Bits.
KRONENBERG'S J. Fred Brown '' The College Store '' Barber • SENTINEL BUILDING - : - CARLISLE, PA.
Heroine (frantically)-" Is there no succor?" Visitor (at fraternity)-"You boys must have a Voice from the Uncomfortable Seats-" Sure. I wonderful time here all tcgether i " paid two bucks to see this show." Brother-"Yes, just like a big congenial poor -Punch Bowl. farm.'' -Carnegie Puppet, I I I
He-'' The first time you contradict me, I'm "Say It With Flow_ers" going to kiss you." Robbins Brothers, Florists She-'' You are not.'' -Life. Argonne Building Carlisle
Young Charity Worker-'' I'm collecting for the J. Harold Wert Drunkards' Home. Can you give me anything j " Mrs. Clancy-'' Sure ! Come around after six o'clock and I '11 give you Clancy." MEN'S FURNISHINGS -Chanticleer.
Compliments o; Carlisle and Hanover, Pa. L. B. HALBERT 4 THALIA February, 1929
In Germany-Boss to Meyer, his pressman• "STEW" BLACK " Meyer, you are a liar. You took a day off to AND bury your mother-in-law and to-day I met her in the park.'' His Band lVIeyer-' 'Pardon, boss, I didn't say she was dead ; I merely said I would like to go to her Dispensing Dance Music DeLuxe funeral.''
J. STEWART BLACK, Manager I I I 1119 N. 15th Street ''Half the City Council Are Crooks,'' was the glaring headlines, Bell Phone 2-3019 Harrisburg, Pa. A retraction in foll was demanded of the editor under penalty of arrest. Policeman (to a celebrating drunk)-Hey, where Next afternoon the headlines read : did you get that red lantern. ''Half the City Council Aren't Crooks.'' Full One-Shay some silly feller left this good I I I lamp down there by a big hole, and I'm taking it Judge-You admit you murdered your father to me room. with a pick axe and your mother with a sash weight, and still you plead for merey ! Prisoner-Yes, your honor. I throw myself on the mercy of the court. Judge-On what grounds do you expect mercy, may I ask] Prisoner-Please, your honor, I'm an orphan. (Dance Committee) If it's a peppy dance you I I I want Jerry-"I hear, Pat, they've gone bone dry in "Eddie" Brubaker the village where your brother lives.'' and his Pat-"Dry, mon, they're parched. I've just Radio Entertainers had a letter from Mike an' the postage stamp was stuck on with a pin." "Know How and Can" Phone, Wire or Write I I I "Eddie Brubaker" The new '' stenog' ' looked like a million dollars 1512~ N. Fourth St. "Class" was written all over her. The office force Harrisburg, Pa. in accord acclaimed her, ''Some Dame.'' Then she opened her velvet lips and said to the Ile-Girls in Bingville who wear skirts above office boy, "Say, Bozo, ain't there no carbon paper their knees should be arrested. around this dump ] " She-Wouldn't that be unconstitutional¥ Ile-No, the Constitution only gives the right to bear arms. Boiling Springs I I I SWIMMING POOL A REAL FELLOW '' Got a sweetheart yet, Lily ~'' Finest Outdoor Pool in ''Yes, and he's a regular gentleman.'' ''You don't say so ! '' Central Pennsylvania "Yes, he took me to a restaurant last night and poured his tea into a saucer to cool it; but he PURE WATER and All Modern Equipment didn't blow it like common people do-he fanned it with his hat!"
8 THALIA February, 1929
Men Like women in varying degrees. Some men SHADOWS marry them. Others like them still more-enough Shadows fading in the westland,• not to marry them. Seems they too forget to play,• I I I Are they very much like humans? Do their souls forget to stay ? The surgeon plied his knife and saw, When onr eyes are set on distance, His face lit with elation. Does our vision fail the range? "Here's where I get," he said with glee, OR does vision measure gladness? "Some inside information." It it just ourselves that change?
I I I Are their spirits ever silent? A teddy bear sat on the ice, Are our lives with theirs to blend? 'Twas cold as cold could be; If we answer all these questions, Then he got up and walked away, Shadow-play may never end. ''My tale is told,'' said he. -FLO Smg. I I I The man who conceived the idea of stamping an image of the eagle on American dollars is to be remembered as the world's most subtle humorist. I I I In all the awful majesty of his judicial regalia, the Edinborough magistrate glared down at the "Waiter, bring me some things I like." infant parracide. "What are they, sir?" "And is it true?" he demanded, "Have ye ''Hash.'' slain your father and mother r " I I I '' Ay, '' responded the urchin, ''I hae slain Date-'' Wouldn't you just love to have lived them.'' in the days of King Arthur?" "And what, in the name of Heaven, made ye Omega-" No, thanks, a 'I'ux shirt is impediment commit so atrocious a crime?" enough!'' "Aweel, your honor, I kenna how else I maun gae to the Orphan's Picnic.''· I I I Wife-How many fish was it you caught on Ill Saturday, George? Husband-Six, darling-all beauties. TERRIBLE ACCIDENT Wife-I thought so. 'I'hat fish market has made a mistake again. They've charged us for Two taxicabs collided yesterday morning on eight. West High Street. Eighteen Scotchmen were killed and twenty-four injured. I I I A nice little maid from Siam, I I I Once said to her lover Kiam, "You may kiss me, of course, Your best conversationalist can keep still in eight But you'll have to use force, languages. Thank Heaven you 're stronger than I am.'' I I I Ill ''Isn't there a fable about the ass disguising himself with a 'Iions skin?" Some people know a chorus girl the minute "Yes, but now the colleges do it with a sheep they see her. Some people want to know a chorus skin." girl the minute they see her. February, 1929 THALIA 9
The boy stood on the railroad track, The train was coming fast ; The boy stepped off the railroad track And let the train go past.
I I I
Those tempting lips, Those roguish eyes, That smile of hers, I idolize. And yet I do not step her out; In fact it's easy to resist her; The reason why is obvious, She is my sister.
First deeil; ''l have an idea. There I I I ought to he a big de• mand for Life Savers RONDEAU down here." A waltz with you? I 'cl love it, dear, Second devil: "You mean-as a relief The lights are dim, the music low, from thirst?" The gliding dancers to and fro In graceful spirals pass and veer; First devil; "Exactly. It oughtto wow them in the Styx!" 'I'here is no other maiden here with whom I'd sooner dance-and so• A waltz with you. I AM GRADUATED Ladies are different, 'twould appear; To me this life is all. I know not what One flirts with some and is a beau, Shadows my footsteps. I know this life full well, And some one marries-others no ; Up to this year when I am graduated- And you? One will but dance, I fear, And even now sroe-tried, A waltz with you. Because I am progressive, reaching for better things- I I I Because I have an eye to more pursuits than fun• Because I am peculiar in that-degree PASSION Where others msierably fail, that realm of thought. Why do you call me 1 On such as me the generation rests. And why must I go~ And I'm not happy for I'm untriad and weak; Out of nowhere Cynical I am, and selfish, too, You came. Where I should be arrayed in hope and love. Your crooked finger beckons me on. God, indeed my guide, but I am here ''Come,'' you say, and I would go Where human counsel counts so much Along that trail that spells the end, Without a leader and without a friend But, I wait---. To help me in my flight to manhood; -FLO Smg. Seeing, 'as in a glass' darkly. FLO Smg. I I I
I I I Little cuts from classes, Little work at gym, I was going to buy a two bit handkerchief but Make your graduation seem, decided that was too much to blow in. Very, very dim. / THALIA
WM. H. GERLACH CLARENCE A. WELLIVER Editor-in-Chief Business Manager
STAFF
A.rt Edito1· LEWIS OHM STEAD
Ltt eraru Editor ROBERT F. SHEAFFER
Feature Editor .' WALTER GABELL
Advertising Manager EDWARD GLASBEY
Circulation. Manager GEORGE PATTERSON
Exchange Editor ' STANLEY SHIRK
Copyright 1928 by Thalia. Exclusive reprint rights granted to CO!lE'.'.)E:Humor Magazine.
VOLUME 1 FEBRUARY, 1929 NUMBER 4
I'D LOVE TO COME Now that the Prom is coming into the dawn, we can cast a few remarks in the direction of some of the dates who will appear on the floor-standing up, you understand. Personally, we have yet to bring a date to the Prom who doesn't know more people on the campus than even President Filler-and who has more know about her than the Umpty Dumps. And we have yet to bring a Prom date who hasn't heard better orchestras, eaten in better places than any in town, (so have we but we don't tell them so), and who hasn't had better dates before. But the most unexplain• able part about Prom dates is the way they keep on coming year after year, even though they do gripe all the while they are here. Wimmen beats us!
PUT UP OR SHUT UP! How often have we heard the remarks concerning the lack of life in a college existence. The average person in the school likes to be entertained and thinks he is misused if other colleges seem to afford opportunities not afforded here. The big timer is simply bored to death. The mope doesn't know what it's all about but agrees with the big timer in hope that someday he too shall be a big timer. Everyone shouts, "We want action." Do you want action or have you been bluffing? If you want action you will be satisfied, and if you were bluffing you are being called. Your college is having a Junior Prom. You are not misused to the extent of being deprived of a function famous all over the collegiate world. Support this, before you clamor for other luxuries; a neglect of one opportunity tends to make opportuni• ties fewer. PUT UP OR SHUT UP. IRE ME BA'TES
.__ MABEL SELOVEP ----1
r Junior Prom~Ednas r ll~G1G1G1G1G1~G1G1~~!0G1!0G1G1G1~G1!0G1~G1G1G1~ @ b) @ b) @ b) i Watch for ~ ~ · the N._ ext Issue ~ @ b) i of THALIA ~ @ APRIL 1st. b) @ b) @ ~~~ b) @ b) @ $ O Prize for the_ best ART contribution b) @ 2 • 5 to the next issue. b) ~ $2 P~ize ~or the best LITERARY con- ~ ~ • 50 tribution. ~ @ b) @ ~~~~ b)
~ Mail all contributions to ~ @ BOX 122, CARLISLE, b) ~ before March IO. ~ @ ~~~,....___.., b) @ b) @ Show an interest in the magazine being b) @ run for your amusement. b1 @ b) @ b) @ b) @ b) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~! SOLVE THIS PUZZLE!
llf ail yoilr solution to box 122) Carlisle) or to the Thalia office at Conway Hall. Send with your answers a su.r;ges• tion to improve Thalia. For the best suggestion Thalia pre• sents a ticket to the big event of 1929) The Jwnior Prom. No suggestions considered unless sent with the correctly solved pueele.
VERTICAL HORIZONTAL
1. Februar·y 23, 1929. 2. To move with rapidity. 34. Let's ---- and make up. 3. A girl must be a good one to get time. 3. To act. 36. Not out. 4. The boys don't want 'em 5. I thought I'd 37. What some will take at intermission. 5. A nasty hurts. 6. Good friends. 39. To stop living. 9. She can her own. 7. One of the latest inventions. 11. Carpet tacks (abbr.) 8. Finis. 40. A clown. 12. He has a on her. 9. A course cal I. 42. Where some girls forget to nut their· 13. What they are both waiting for. 10. Grand Rapids. (abbr). clothes. 14. Necessary evils. 11. Birds do do it, these may do it. 15. A news account. 12. Central Ireland (abbr.) 43. A direction (abbr). 19. Wrath. 16. Street (abbr.) 44. Conjunction. 27. Sit on Sunday on a ---- 17. Not stout. 45. H ioh Card. 30. The vowels. 18. Too many ---- spoil the marks. 46. A pronoun. 31. This dance is hard on a --- spot. 20. Not so bright (abbr.) 47. A yell. 35. A state in the Union. (abbr.) 21. To get going. 48. A pet name. 38. Part of a clock. 22. To. wander from the straight and narrow. 50. Correlative of either. 40. A direction. 23. Favorite winter sport. 51. Finishes. 43. A continent. 24. Car-relative of either. 53. To tap softly. 44. Not together. 25. What some co-eds think about. 54. An edge. 47. What a lion does for pastime. 26. To mop again. 56. Fifty. 49. To publish a paper. 28. Separate particulars. 57. A state (abbr.) 52. Swans' neck. (abbr.) Do· they? 29. Boy, she's 59. French Article. 53. An American poet. 32. What we should not be after the Prom. 60. Near to. 58. What we do not want to hear. 33. Aini she 61. Thus. 14 THALIA February, 1929
Varsity Man No. 60-'' Why don't I get into Mother, will college boys go to heaven 1 / any of the games?" Yes, but they won't like it. Coach-'' I'm saving you for the Junior Prom.'' -Lorcl Jeff. -Chaparral. I I I I I I Suitor-" I seek your daughter's hand in mar• riage, sir. I love her devotedly and I would suffer He-'' Do you care to dance j " deeply if I caused her a moment's sorrow." She-'' I don't care but I '11 dance.'' Father-"You're dead right, young fellow. You -Jiiggler. sure would suffer. I know that girl." I I I -Life. Student (being arrested)-" But officer, I am a I I I fitudent." Ph.D.-"So you can't define mirror. Well, what Officer-'' Ignorance is no excuse.'' do you look into after you wash your face to see if -Gai·gogle. it is clear i " Frater-'' The towel.'' I I I -Lion. Broadmindedness is the ability to smile when I I I you suddenly discover that your roommate and ''Look, here, Mr. Tiffany, my wedding Ting has your girl are missing from the dance floor. turned green.' 1 -Cannon Bawl. ''How long have you had it, madam f" I I I ' ' Two years.'' The great ambition of every college comic editor '' ·vvell, our wedding rings are only guaranteed iii to put out just one issue after be gets his diploma. to last a natural married life-time." -Grinnell Malteaser. -Harvard Lampoon. I I I I I I Shocked Old Lady=-And on my way up here we Newlywed-" This meat has such a queer taste." passed about twenty-five young people in parked Better Half-" That's queer. It should be good; cars. I burned it a little but put vaseline on it right Yonng Hostess-Oh I'm sure you must be mis• away.'' taken. It must have been an even number. -Brown Jng. t -Cornell Widow. I I I I I I Agent-"No, lady, this train goes to Baltimore, Boston and points east.'' --A minister went to a library the other day and asked for '' 'I'he Kentucky Cardinal.'' He Just Graduated-"Well, I want a train to Cleve• demurred when the librarian began to look under land and I don't care which way it points." ''Religious.'' -V. M. I. Sniper. ''This cardinal was a bird,'' protested the I I I minister. A garlic sandwich is two pieces of bread travel• ''I'm not interested rn his personal habits,'' ing in bad company. said the librarian. -DervnisonFlamingo. -Boston Globe. I I I Ill There was a shy young man who wanted to pro• Absent-minded Professor-"Yes, I did call for pose to his lady love, but never dared. Finally he you, but I can't remember why." took her to his family lot in the cemetery and said Absent-minded Plumber-" That's all right; I '' \V ouldn 't you like to be buried here some day 1'' forgot my tools anyway.'' -Flamingo. -Wisconsin Octopus. Frank and Ernest By BRIGGS
The Smoother and Better CigaNtte
OLD GOLD • • .v not a cough in a [email protected].,Bat.1760 16 THALIA February, 1929
SCHOOL DAYS Boss-'' Say, where in blazes are you two worth• ( 1928 Autumn Model) less niggers going? Why don't you get to work t " l\fose-" We 'se workin, Boss. We 'se carry in' dis School clays, school days, heah plank up to de mill.'' F'lippant, fresh and fool days ! Boss-'' Plank! I don't see any plank.'' Bending of elbows and sim 'Jar tasks, lVIose-" Well foh de Lawd 's sake, Sam. Ef we Whoopee and petting and pocket flasks. hain 't gone and clean forgot de plank!'' You were the Queen of Coed's RO\Y, -I!'roth. I was your Highball Romeo And you chalked on my Ford, ''I choose to go'' When we were a couple, A couple of supple Young Kids-Hey! Hey ! I I I 'I'hey tell the story of a famous actor who was often accustomed to show a great interest in the lesser lights about him. One day he was gosd• naturedly conversing with one of his stage-hands. '' And what, my man, is your vocation t " queried the condescending matinee idol. "I'm a Baptist," was the reply. "No, no, g·ood fellow, that is your belief. I want to know your vocation. For example, I am an actor.'' Said the scene-shifter-II ell, man, that's your belief." - Virginia Reel. BRAKE SHOES, TOO! I I I It was dusk as she stopped at the roadside garage. CLUB RATES ''I want a quart of red oil,'' said she. Preacher (to Mormon Groom)- Do you take The man gasped and hesitated. these women to be your lawfully wedded wives? ''Give me a quart of red oil,'' she repeated. Groom-I do. ''A q-quart of r-r-red oil t" Preacher-Do you take this man to be your "Certainly," she said. "My tail light has gone lawfully wedded husband? out!" Brides-We do. I I I Preacher-Some of you girls there in· the back COULDN'T BE WRONG will have to speak louder if you want to be in• Lawyer-'' Tell the court .exactly where you were cluded in this. on the twentieth day of said month at five-thirty -Judge. in the afternoon.'' I I I Defendant-" I was on the corner of Second and Main Streets asking a man a question." Conductor-'' I've got your fare.'' Lawyer-" Ah-ha! But how do you know it was Honest-'' I know it; this one is for the com• exactly five-thirty?" pany." Defendant-" Ah-ha yourself! The question I -Stanf orcl Chaparral. was asking him was what time it was.'' I I I I I I Triplets had arrived at the Jones home. Little Rector-'' Is that your cigarette stub?" Willie gave his three newly arrived brothers the Small son-" Go ahead, Dad, you saw it first." once over and then turned to his father. -N olre Dame J1lggler. "Which two are you going to drown, Dad?" Support~ Dickinson Players
~
''Sl(INNER'S DRESS SUIT''
~ .March 13th BOSLER HALL 18 THALIA February, 1929
WHAT AND WHAT NOT IN MOVIES friendship of the two men and a cruel experience ''Four Devils'' is a fast moving story of the to the girl which saves an army and loses her the lives of circus people. The four devils are two sweetheart she loves. A citation clears the mis• girls and two boys, children of dead circus people, understanding and reunites. them. Gilbert Roland, who have been fathered and trained by an old the favored lover, is the brother of John Gilbert. clown. The fascinating romances that devlop He equals his brother in his arduous love scenes among them is the chief interest of the picture. and surpasses him in appeal because he lacks the Janet Gaynor is her petite, adorable self, and appearance of dissipation. Norma Talmadge Mary Duncan who plays a difficult vampire role proves her superiority over newer and younger shares honors with her. The men of the cost add actresses by her alluring piquancy and finished little to the picture. acting. ''The 'll olf of Wall Street'' is a story of a ''Abie's Irish Rose,'' the screen version of the rough and ready he-man, who has risen to be a play by Anne Nichols, is a diverting and refresh• feared power in Wall Street ; a Russian immigrant, ing comedy. Although it is advertised as a talkie, who is his wife, and just must flirt with the villian, there is little actual talking and the sound effects who wants to make a fool out of her husband; and are not all they might be. On the whole, the play the sub-plot of the maid and an inviting "sucker." is superior in every way to the picture. The maid proves to the Wolf that there are suck• ''Interference,'' reviewed in the last issue as a ers in love as well as in finance. It ends with play, is now being seen as heard as Paramount's George Bancroft, the Wolf, standing alone-a loser first all talking feature. Again, the stage version in the game of love, as he always is in his pictures. is superior. Evelyn Brent, as Deborah, is the only The voices carry well, but the butler gets rather one who equals in her acting the stars of the legiti• confused as to whether he is to have a French or mate drama. The picture is extremely slow mov• Russian accent. Baclanova, the lady love, vamps ing and is added proof that all the little mechanics too obviously to be interesting and her accent is of the legitimate drama cannot be reproduced in a over stressed. The Wall Street scenes are most picture version without making the action drag. interesting, although sometimes the part of the "West of Zanzibar" is a typical Loil Chaney audience which is unfamiliar with stock manipula• picture. It is fascinating in its terribleness. The tions is in the dark as to what it is all about. star is well supported by Lionel Barrymore and "The Barker," made famous on the stage by Mary Nolan in this blood curdling story of mystery, Richard Bennett, has for its theme the muck, mirth, revenge, and romance enacted in the Congo. The mystery and heartaches of the Big Tent. Milton funeral rites of this strange race form one of the Sills is an excellent barker, Dorothy Mackail a most horrible links in the story. There is no good tough girl turned tame, Betty Compson a beauty nor humor in the picture and it can only too old Hawaiian dancer, and Douglas Fairbanks, be enjoyed by those who find pleasure in the tense, Jr. a sweet young innocent susceptible to the wiles sordid, and spectacular picture. of the tough girl. The spoken dialogue is often Norma Talmadge, that rarely seen and genuine muffed and poorly timed. actress, stars with Gilbert Roland in ''The Woman THE PLAY'S THE THING disputed." The plot is unusual, daring and in• teresting. Norma, as a poor creature of circum• "What a change from modern realism is found stances, is raised to respectability through two men in the gossamer web of romanticism found in ''The whom she meets under tragic circumstances. Both Jealous Moon." Jane Cowl, the star, is also co• fall in love with her and when the call to arms author with Theodore Charles. Her vivid personal• comes each wants her as his wife. An innocently ity does much to arouse interest in the old, poetic unconventional meeting causes a break in the theme of Pierrot-Harlequin Columbine. To enjoy February, 1929 THALIA 19
tricky, but we cannot say much for the singing which is the one weak point in a mighty good show. LEARN THE PIANO "Fioretta" is so spectacular that it rivals any show produced by the famous ''Florenz.'' The IN TEN LESSONS panorama of gorgeousness is worthy of superla• tives. The settings and costumes are so startling • Tenor .. Banjo or Mandolin that they entirely distract the mind from the en• tirely worthy story. It is by far the best of all in Five Lessons Earl Carroll's productions. How could a show Without nerve-racking, heart-breaking scales and exercises. You are taught to play by note fail to please when there is an aggregation of such in regular professional chord style. In your very first lesson you will be able to play a stars as Leon Errol, Fannie Brice and Lionel At• popular number by note. will, who are supported by the beautiful and de• SEND FOR IT ON APPROVAL lightful Dorothy Knopp, George Houston, Theo• The "Hallmark Self-Instructor," is the title of this method. Eight years were required to dore Karle and Jay Brennan] Then we must say perfect this great work. The entire course with the necessary examination sheets is bound in a word for the figures of the dancing girls as well one volume. The first lesson is unsealed which the student may examine and be his own as their twinkling toes, the voices of the male "JUDGE and JURY." The later part of the "Hallmark Self-Instructor," is sealed. chorus, and the music of the symphony orchestra. Upon the student returning any copy of the "Hallmark Self-Instructor" with the seal un• All are equal and above par. A long New York broken, we will refund in full all money paid. This amazing Self-Instructor will be sent any• engagement may be predicted. where. You do not need to send any money. When you receive this new method of teach iua Gertrude Lawrence, in "Treasure Girl," is de• music deposit with the Postman the sum of ten· dollars. If you are not entirely satisfied. lightfully breezy. She manages to carry a rather the money paid will be returned in full, upon written request. 'I'h e Publishers are anxious to mediocre show and cast to a satisfying close. The place this "Self-Instructor" in the hands ?1' music lovers all over the country, and is m beginning drags outrageously but upon the tardy a position to make an attractive proposition to agents. Send for your copy today. Address appearance of the star, the cast seems to be buoyed The "Hallmark Self-Instructor" Station G, Post Office, Box 111, New York, N. Y. up by her enthusiasm. Miss Lawrence, unusually tall for a musical comedy star, seems to brim over it you must enter into the spirit of fairy tale tell• ing and forget the hubbub of moderninity, to live with Columbine through the love story of the "c.8uilders of c.Better .Annuals" moon and stars-even they, it seems, may suffer Those decidedly attractive college annuals which jealousy, which fact is brought out in the dream, have aroused your admiration are not chance at• which is the main body of the story. tainments. 'l'heir effectiveness is the result of '' J arnegan, '' on the other hand, is realism in careful planning by men schooled in this highly the extreme and in accord with the book written specialized type of creative art-men thoroughly by Jim Tully it is raucous and even vulgar. The familiar with the possibilities and limitations of all reproduction processes-and of the editor's language is the coarsest sort of vernacular. The budget. story lacks any well developed plot, relying upon Here, the college editor and manager find an a series of incidents to hold the interest. It is a experienced Annual Service Department equipped one man play starring Richard Bennett, who to aid and advise them on all the varied subjects greatly amuses the audience with his profanity and encountered in the production of the successful dramatic glimpses into the movie industry. year book. ''Rain or Shine,'' a tale of the Big Tent, is a 'I'lris service is always at the command of our fast moving, hilarious, musical comedy. Joe Cook clients. keeps the audience holding their sides with his impossible and quickly told stories. Tom Howard, the solemn faced rube, who is ''gypped'' and Canton Engraving and robbed by Cook, shares almost equally in applause. Cook as a one man circus leads one to believe there Electrotype Co. is no end to his versatility. Ethel Norris brings of down the house with her "Oh, Baby" number, but the little lady should do a little reducing. The Canton, Ohio dancing troupes are speedy, the costuming is most 20 THALIA February, 1929
Distracted Wife (at bedside of sick husband j->• "fa there no hope, doctor t " Doctor-...'' I don't know. What were you hop• ing for?" -The Lord Jeff.
~~ Every five weeks-all year, W. G. FLY will show you the NORTHERN BALFOUR ENGRAVING line of FRATERNITY JEWELRY COMPJ\NY Sweet Young Thing-'' You said you would die CANTON for your fraternity, why won't you bring up my OHIO brother's name 1'' Omega Alpha-" Sorry, but dying is my limit." -M. C. T. Voo Doo. Engravers for I I I THE MICROCOSM and many other well known "Funny how a fat woman always feels bigger Eastern College Annuals than she looks.'' ''Who told you that 1'' ''Nobody. I danced with one last night.'' 'Twenty-two years of specializing -Texas Iiasiqer. in school annuals is bac~ of our attractive offer. A detailed pro• posal will be gladly furnished on request. BOSTONIANS SHOES FOR MEN NUFF SAID 53 WEST DUTREY'S LOUTHER STREET with "It." Iler voice is musical, when she speaks as well as when she sings. Her dancing is with Stick-Hold up your hands. abandon. Altogether, she seems to be enjoying Up-Why? herself completely every minute of the time. Be• Stick-I always said if I saw a man homelier cause of her personality, the rest of the show can than I, I'd shoot him. be forgotten, but you leave the play feeling that Up-Am I homelier than you t it is a rather mean trick to give a really fine actress Stick-Yes. such a poor cast and setting. Up-Go ahead. G. G. R. -Hoiise Dope.
The Conlyn Jewelry Store PENN-HARRIS HOTEL 139 West High Street Harrisburg, Pa. The College Jewelry Store 400 ROOMS $2.50 AND UP Since 1839 DANCING Every Wednesday, Friday and Saturday Nights 9.30 P. M. till Midnight-SO cents per cover College Jewelry, Novelties, Favors, TWO COFFEE SHOPS-Appetising food Engraved Stationery served at Moder ate Prices Watch and Jewelry Repairing Harry J. Harkins, Manager February, 1929 THALIA 21
Lipstick and fly paper, they 're much alike; they catch the careless creatures that pause to in• vestigate. -WisconsinO ctopus. I I I First Stude-"What's the matter, old bean? Why the gloom? Second Stude-'' The heavyweight champion of the· college has lost his hat.'' First Stude-'' That's tough, but why should you worry t " · Second Stude-' 'Because I was wearing it when he lost it.'' -Washington Couqar's Call. I I I ''Look how the water has rotted away that post.'' Prisoner-'' Everything I do, I do fast.'' "lV[igosh, migosh, and the teetotalers put that Judge-'' Better do sixty days; see how fast you stuff in their stomachs ! '' can do that." -Judge. -Notre Dame Juggler. I I I I I I London Curio Dealer-" Yes, sir, this is the very handkerchief used by the father of William Penn.'' Tourist-'' I-Im, the original pen wiper.'' Ronald-"I saw an aeroplane flyin'. -Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. Father-"Don't forget your g's, my boy." I I I Ronald-'' Gee! I saw an aeroplane flyin." -Goblin. A young man was lying on an operation table I I I ready for an examination. Doctor (to attendant)-"Bring in ethyl chlo• Absent-minded Dean (knocking on St. Peter's ride.'' Gate)-" C 'mon, open up here or I '11 throw the Young man (jumping up )-"No, Doctor; whole fraternity out.'' please don't bring a woman in here ! '' -Lehigh Burr. -Dension Flamingo. I I I I I I ''Miss Dense, allow me to present Professor /8mith!'' Engineer-" What engines shall we use ? " ,..-----· / ''Oh, ProfessfoP\ please do something absent- Skipper-Oh, Diesel do.'' , minded.'' -Annapolis Log. -Ala. Rammer-Jammer. I I I I I I Tough Guy-"For two cents I'd knock your ''The doctor will see you inside,'' said the nurse block off.'' to the patient as she helped him on to the operating Wise Guy-'' Get away from me, you dirty pro• table. -Bison. fessional. '' I I I U. of S. Calif. Wampus. ALL WORK, NO PLAY I I I Dibb-'' Have you seen one of those instruments "How's 'your new girl?" which can tell when a man is lying?" "Not so good." Higgs-'' See one! I married one!'' "You always were lucky." -0. C. N. Y. Mercury. -West Point Pointer. 22 THALIA February, 1929
THE MOVE College~ Every few years it is dis• . Publications covered readers have changed radically the fashions in magazines Catalogs and books. The suc• cessful magazine today Annuals is one that anticipates the modern reader. COLLEGE Huaon, you will find, is often a lit• tle impudent, but its manners are perfect. It is a colorful, gay SINCE 1831 record of contemporary youth, always spiked with surprises and fre• quently touched with tenderness. You are invited to let it enter• tain you.
Cameron and Kelker Streets HARRISBURG PENNSYLVANIA February, 1929 THALIA 23
WHOA!! SPRINKLER To those of our collegiate youth who have been The fire in some girls' eyes is quenched by the hit foul by Cupid, the following may serve as a water on their brains. steadier: -Log. Milady's upkeep (for once this does not mean I I I her legs)
Dresses and other things you knew about $350.00 GOLD DIGGER'S LAMENT Things you thought yo~1 knew about . . . . 200.00 Things you never dreamed about ...... 400.00 Ile loved me when his funds were low Things you will never know about ...... 500.00 But now my heart is sore, Things you better know about ...... 1,000.00 For now he's flush, but he's forgot Total-Heaven only knows about . To lo~e me any more. -California Pelican. =Pwp-pet, I I I I I I IF ACCEPTANCES WERE TRUE THE LUCKY COLLEGE MAN Mr. Harold Applebottom He can sleep late mornings. regrets that the eight-hour working day (and flunk eight o'clock classes). observed by The Long Hang Whang Lang He has no worries. Laundry Company (except finals and bills). makes it impossible for him He can wear extreme styles. to get his only shirt back in time (and be regarded as an idiot). to accept the kind invitation of He can attend shows and go dancing. Kappa Chi Alpha (and be broke). for dinner Thursday, June ninth. He Can visit college chums from coast to coast. -De Ponuo :Yellow Crab. (if his father owns a railroad). I I I He can write home whenever he's broke. (ancl be told he's received his allowance). "So your father knows the exact moment he will die, does he, the exact year, month and day i " -California Pelican. "Y assuh, he had ought to. The jedge tole I I I him t " -Cornell Wiclow.
WHY? I I I Stranger-Tell me, young man, is this town very wet? Euphelia-Woukl you marry for money? Boy-Is it wet? Say, they call that part over Soronia-I don't know-But I have a sacred there the ''deep end,'' and this part here the wish that Cupid would shoot me with a Pierce• ''shallow end. '' Arrow. -Aicgwan. -Jester. I I I I I I
DON'T M~NTION IT "What did the Old Gold Salesman do when he "Have you a cigarette?" started to cough at the dinner last night t " "Yes, plenty, thank you." "Oh, he was nonchalant, he lit a Murad." -Flamingo. -Ghost. THALIA ADVERTISERS
The Telegraph Press L. B. Halbert, Bill iard Parlor
Penn-Harris Hotel Robbins Brothers, Florists
Dutrey's Shoe Store .J. Harold Wert, Men's Fur• nishings Balfour, J eweler Kronenberg's 'I'he N orthern Engraving Co. Hoover, 'I'he Photographer The Conlyn Jewelry Store Hoover & Smith, Jewelers
Canton Engraving and Electro• type Company Carl isle Recreation Center
Hall-mark Self-Instructor Moorhead's Tailor Shop
College Humor Stephen's Drug Store
Old Gold Cigarettes Dorothy Steele Book StOI'e
I.He Savers Carter's Drug Store
Eddie Brubaker's Orchestra Cl over Tea Room
"Stew" Black and His Band .Iohns Chocolat' Shop
COLOR - MUSIC ACTIVITY
1929 YUNIOR PROM · February 23
American Legion Hall