Wiseyes LLC [email protected] Title: Fight Or Flight? Knowing How and When to Break up Series: 2 of 8

Wiseyes LLC Wiseyes1@Outlook.Com Title: Fight Or Flight? Knowing How and When to Break up Series: 2 of 8

Wiseyes LLC [email protected] Title: Fight Or Flight? Knowing How And When To Break Up Series: 2 of 8

Language: English

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Release Date: March 2017 Series: $12.49 /3 books no substitutions please Pages/Word Count: Available at a later date

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Description: 21st century survival/life skills. Basic 101

Wiseyes LLC Series pre-publishing peek! Entertaining * Educational * Empowering * Enlightening *

Introductory Offer: 3 free! EBooks Listen To Your Intuition And Avoid Making Mistakes

Series 1: Research Before Romance Or Finance

*Listen to your intuition and avoid making mistakes *Do your homework! *The dark side of silence

Series 2: Fight Or Flight?

*Securing your home *Know when and how to break up *Happily ever after requires communication

Series 3: What Are You Bringing To The Table?

*Body image 1 *Love money & independence *What are you bringing to the table?

Series 4: Fatal Flaws

*Familiarity *What/who are you attracting into your life? *Deal breakers/Red Flags that shouldn’t be ignored

Dear Carolyn: If the categories are: 1. Talk things out

2. Try counseling

3. Break up, how do you know which category your relationship problems fall into? At A Fork In The Road

Dear At A Fork: That's a different list.

1. Will anything change?

2. Can I accept that?

3. Should I accept that? Also known as, patience, honesty, guts. Good Luck www.facebook.com/carolyn.hax

@ Work

While working for the Social Security Administration, I helped an elderly woman --- who was no longer married --- fill out her claim form.

Reading off a question, I asked, “How did your marriage end?” “

Just fine,” she said, grinning a little too broadly. “He died.” Willis Bird

Ask Amy Married Couple Are Poor Partners And Parents

Dear Amy: My current husband I have been married 14 years. (he is 74, I am 60). I had a very traumatic divorce. My current husband was one of the lawyers involved in the divorce.

We had a whirlwind relationship and married after nine months.

My new stepdaughter, 31 years old at the time, chose to destroy our special day, and to this day, hates me. My husband and I tried to work this through; he was devastated and I let her walk all over me.

Now I don’t have anything to do with her.

Now, my husband has refused to attend any of my family events if my only son is attending because my son has had several DUI’s. My son is a very hard worker but has a very limited income.

I have helped him out with legal fees, etc … I used our joint accounts for this. Mainly my husband seems to think my son is a loser.

After holding in my anger about having to shuffle holiday events so that my husband doesn’t have to be there with my “wayward” son, I totally blew up and revealed very ugly sexual activities that his daughter did. I feel terrible about this.

Because he is a lawyer and can file for divorce (and has done it before without my knowledge after fights), is my love for him healthy?

Should we try harder to make this work?

Ninety percent of the time we are good. Wondering Wife

Dear Wondering: Should you work harder on your marriage? Yes.

But you two also seem to be equally poor parents: enablers, punishers, and with distorted views of your adult children.

I’m shocked that your marriage is good 90 percent of the time, because given what you report, you two deal with your problems by refusing to deal with your problems and blaming your partners.

You should decide to be partners first, and then parent together.

This means that you don’t sneak money from your joint account to enable your son’s drinking, and he doesn’t tolerate his adult daughter’s mistreatment of you.

Your mutual refusal to acknowledge and take responsibility for your own actions doesn’t bode well.

A counselor with a specialty in family systems could help.

You might also want to consult with your own lawyer. [email protected]

Tony’s Mystic World: Mending A Broken Heart Here is another installment of Tony Leggett’s psychic series October 31, 2016 Examiner

So many of you have written, e-mailed or called me over the years, wondering how you can heal from broken hearts, that I felt it would make a good topic for this column.

Everybody experiences a broken heart at least once in a lifetime --- no matter how hardhearted somebody may appear.

You are not alone. Broken hearts can result from death, loss of any kind, an unforeseen disaster or extreme loneliness.

The range of emotions that result from such loss may include depression, anger, aggression, sadness, confusion and even illness or the feeling that you don’t want to live anymore.

All of these are perfectly normal. But the real problem is that you feel like a victim. I want you to know that you are not a victim. You have simply joined the broken hearts club.

In order to lessen the pain, many people self medicate with pills and/or alcohol. The pain is real, but the answer to healing doesn’t not include violent outbursts, crying nonstop, complaining endlessly or taking mind altering substances.

When loss occurs, you might say, “Why did this happen to me?” You may cling to the pain for years. After all, the heart and soul are connected with a fine gold thread. Over time, you forget about loving others --- and even loving yourself because you are so consumed with the void left in your life.

This kind of reaction to loss keeps you from getting your life back in order: If you believe in the theory of like attracts like, and then if you are depressed and in despair, you will be drawn to other negative people, thus putting you in a deeper emotional hole, which is devoid of good feelings.

When you are hurting, your God chip shuts down and encloses you in darkness. You are unable to see the light around you or find happiness in the simplest things.

If you are in this state right now, try a little experiment.

Have somebody take a photo off you. Now compare your face to one taken at a happy occasion. You will be shocked at the difference. And this is how you appear to others, with sad eyes and your mouth turned down.

So how do you turn this around? The soul needs to be fed with love on a regular basis. If the object of your affection is no longer with you, learn to love yourself.

When you find happiness in the life around and within, your inner spirit come alive and the dark clouds move on. You feel warmed, more content and you will function better.

Master Teachers encourage self love to bring you back to peace and happiness. That, in turn, provides the glow that attracts a better, more prosperous life as well as bringing you in contact with others who are not steeped in sadness.

As I have said many times, like attracts like.

Practically speaking, here are four simple rules for mending a broken heart:

“Give yourself time. A death or bad breakup usually takes about a year to fully heal.

Don’t shut everybody out.

Surround yourself with good vibes and people who love you.

“Change your environment. This may include putting away some photos or objects and cleaning out closets or moving furniture around.

“Write a letter or a series of letters spilling out your feelings. Then put those letters in a drawer. There is no need to mail them. It’s a way to let the anxiety out.

“Stop beating up on yourself. Forgive yourself for any hurt that you have caused by making wrong choices.

Prepare your heart and soul to move on. Remember, eventually every heart heals. All it needs is time and love. Love is ALL you need!

Study Says A Broken Heart May Prove Fatal February 10, 2005 The Blade

Stress found to trigger life threatening spasm A traumatic breakup, the death of a loved one, or even the shock of a surprise party can unleash a flood of stress hormones that can stun the heart, causing sudden, life threatening heart spasms in otherwise healthy people, they reported yesterday.

Book: It Ended Badly By: Jennifer Wright

Nonfiction: Safe to say that from Lucrezia Borgia to Debbie Reynolds, the rich and famous have not always found lasting happiness in love. (Historically, poisoning or beheading is involved).

Wright combines a deep knowledge of her subjects with an abiding love for their depravity; she chronicles their breakups with a wit as sharp as a guillotine’s blade.

Spirituality: Come Out Of Your 20’s Stronger August 2012 Essence

* Nurture your spirit * Ask for help * Be fearless * Spend your time and money on experiences, not just things

Remember trouble doesn’t last During those moments while you’re in that deep dark hole you fell into --- job loss, bank accounts in the red, heartbreak, bad credit, bad decisions --- it won’t feel like it can get better, but know that it will.

“Don’t pray for a miracle, pray for a plan,” says publicist Christina Rice. “A plan will ensure your tomorrow will be better than it is today.” Demetria L. Lucas

Saying Good-Bye: Broken Hearts Cross All Lifestyles Emily Hickey: On The Side Of Pride September 19, 2012 Toledo Free Press

When someone’s heart breaks, either an outrageous amount of strength develops inside them or the daily reminders of what once was threaten to shatter their world all over again. All of this combined with emotions of anger, sadness and confusion is where I find myself today.

Recently, I experienced the most difficult break up that I have ever had. I’m still baffled by how a couple that loves each other through and through, can be challenged at every turn from outside elements. Elements that attempt to bully them to a breaking point. So at what point does one accept defeat and decide not only to break their own heart but also the heart of the person they love?

After reading a countless number of quotes (Yes, I am the type of person who can be lifted up from a simple quote), I have been trying to truly understand why the right decision always has to be the most heartbreaking. So as I sit here trying to exude strength while tears well up in my eyes, I am constantly reminded that everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t see it right then.

However, that does not make it any easier to eat at our favorite restaurants or listen to the songs that just fit our relationship. Also, it is never easy to know that this heartbreak won’t kill me.

Heartbreak hasn’t completely crushed my brother or my best friend or any other person I know. The way my relationship developed and ended is no different than those of my straight brother or straight best friend. I’ve come to realize that matters of heart should know no labels.

You see, when the heart of an LGBTQ person is broken, it breaks just the same as the heart of a straight person; it hurts just as much. Not every single one of our relationships is perfect. We feel lonely. We need affection and love just as much as the next person. We also heal overtime and begin dating all over again because that is just the way these situations work, whether straight or gay.

We are looking for partners to raise children with; for that person to kiss our forehead when the world caves in; for that person who can help us learn more about ourselves; and for a life companion.

While my heart breaks and I only wish that things could have turned out differently, I take comfort in the fact that one day I’ll find the person who will provide me with the companionship that my parents have had throughout the past 30 years.

As I tried to find solace in our decision to part ways, I found a quote that spans every type of heartache. Whether your heart hurts from the loss of a boyfriend, girlfriend, mother, cousin or whomever, I leave you with the words that have helped me find the strength to keep moving forward.

“There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn and people we can’t live without but have to let go.” Anonymous

And to the woman I love: “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” Anonymous

Emily Hickey is an advocate for the LGBTQ community through Toledo Pride and OUTSKIRTS.

WebMD Wire: Gender Bender Source: Journal Of Health And Social Behavior

Movies and TV shows would have you believe the (sensitive) woman suffers more than the (brave, strong) man when romance hits the skids. So you might be surprised to learn that a new study shows that young men suffer more in troubled relationships than young women.

Two researchers --- one from Wake Forest University in Winston Salem N.C. and the other from Florida State University --- studied 1, 611 unmarried adults between 18 and 23 years old.

The researchers found that young men tended to see their partners as their primary source of intimacy, whereas young women were more likely to also be close to friends and family. Once troubled couples broke up, however, women suffered more than men. And they conformed to stereotype in their responses.

The young women got depressed, and the young men tended to use alcohol and drugs to relieve their pain. So don’t be fooled by young men’s bravado --- they might be having a harder time than you think.

The Long Struggle And Neurotic Triumph Of Howard Stern March 31, 2011 Rolling Stone

Question: There are ways that it can be shared without bringing her into it, like discussing your own pain.

Mr. Stern: Yeah, absolutely. Divorce was so theoretical to me because no one in my family had really been divorced. My parents have been together for a million years. So this was all new to me. I was with my ex-wife since college, so it felt like such a failure.

My children took it hard. It’s so complicated, and it’s hard for me even to figure out at this point what went wrong and how things that were so good could go so bad. It’s tough. I think I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to analyze that. Neil Strauss

Letters: Respect The Dog Whisperer May 2013 Men’s Journal

In (“Rescuing Cesar” Jason Fine Millan) comes across as an American hero and cautionary tale. I was inspired by the way he was able to pull himself up by his bootstraps and become a global star.

But to lose it all to a failed marriage? That’s just sad. Ultimately, though, his connection to animals is so strong that he commands a respect that other people in his position wouldn’t get. Diane Blayne

Book: How To Make Anyone Fall In Love With You By: Leil Lowndes Who suffers more from a breakup? Men!

The men felt lonelier, more depressed, unloved, and least free after a split. The men reported that they found it extremely hard to accept that they were no longer loved and that she had really gone.

What disturbed them most was that they felt there was nothing they could do about it. They were plagued with the hope that if only they had said the right thing --- done the right thing.

In fact, three times as many men commit suicide after a disastrous love affair as women do.

My Ex Won't Leave Me Alone!

Question: An old boyfriend just won't let go: He constantly posts things on my Face book page and R.S.V.P.'s to events that I'm going to. He even relocated to be closer to me! Isn't this borderline harassment? A.M.

Karen Karbo: I'm definitely concerned for you. If your ex's actions become threatening or make you fearful, you may be able to get some kind of protective order, according to the Stalking Resource Center.

Bottom Line: You can't control his behavior, but you can control yours.

For advice on how to de-friend and distance yourself from him without escalating the problem, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233. They can connect you with a smart, experienced advocate. [email protected]

Woman Abducted From Oakwood Found Alive April 20, 2016 The Call And Post

“I’m OK, I’m just happy to be alive,” were the words from Brandi Shakir, the abducted victim who was found alive in Erie, Pa., Tuesday morning.

Her alleged abductor was shot twice, once in the leg and once in the abdomen, by the homeowner of a house he was attempting to break into.

Shakir has been staying with her mother following a domestic incident last Wednesday, where Johnson allegedly assaulted her in the parking lot.

Johnson took the break up very hard and he just could not get over Shakir according to Hyatt. Felicia C. Haney

Police Release Names Of Kids Fatally Shot In New Mexico

Albuquerque, N.M.(AP) --- Three days after a deadly shooting rocked New Mexico's largest city, police finally released the names Thursday of the three children who died inside their Albuquerque home as their mother fought to shield them.

Investigators said 5-year-old Elijah Mascarenas, 6-year-old Olivia Mascarenas, and 9-year-old Ian Mascarenas died Monday shortly after the mother's ex-boyfriend unloaded on the family. That former boyfriend, George Daniel Wechsler, 45, later turned the gun on himself.

Authorities said Wechsler had briefly dated the 36-year-old mother, Cheryl Mascarenas, who was wounded in the shooting. Mascarenas is listed in critical but stable condition.

“Evidence shows the mother fought valiantly to try to save her children and get them out of the house,” Albuquerque police spokeswoman Celina Espinoza said.

Police say Cheryl Mascarenas recently broke up with Wechsler and asked him to stop calling. A few days before the shooting, police say Wechsler sought to bring the children Christmas gifts.

It's unclear how long the pair dated before they broke up.

Last month, Wechsler was also transported to the hospital and underwent a mental evaluation after threatening to commit suicide, police said. It was not known if that case was connected to the mother's demand to leave her alone.

But Wechsler had a history of stalking and assault.

According to court records, Wechsler pleaded no contest in 2003 to misdemeanor stalking and petty misdemeanor assault against a family member.

He was also arrested in 2004 for reckless driving, but police say he had no felony record.

Since the shooting Monday, Albuquerque police had refused until Thursday to release the victims' names despite requests from national media outlets.

Media outlets in Albuquerque have so far honored Albuquerque police request to withhold the names of the mother and the children.

“The Albuquerque Police Department knows the family from the Stagecoach shooting and we as a community (cannot) fathom this unimaginable tragedy,” police said in a statement Wednesday.

In a statement, Mascarenas and her former husband, Joshua, thanked Albuquerque police and other agencies for offering support following the shooting.

“As the parents, we put our children before anything else in this world,” the pair said in a statement. “While divorced, we have always been a family, raising our children together and actively involved with the daily activities of all three kids.”

The former couple then asked for privacy and asked that images of their children not be released. The Face book pages of both parents are full of photos with her three children. Neighbors and friends have placed angel figurines and stuffed animals outside the Albuquerque home.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 12: 05 p.m. 400 block West Jefferson Street Thursday February 25

Woman having problems with ex-boyfriend.

Man Kills 4, Himself In Tennessee Ex-girlfriend's boyfriend, her mother, and two others shot to death.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 10: 36 p.m. 600 block Columbus Avenue Tuesday April 19

Woman reported ex-boyfriend constantly harasses her, calls her from untraceable phone numbers; she wants it to stop.

U.S. High Court Halts Texas Killer’s Execution September 16, 2011 The Blade

Duane Buck, 48, was spared from the lethal injection when the justices, without extensive comment, said they would review an appeal in his case.

Buck was sentenced to death for the fatal shootings of his ex-girlfriend and a man in July 1995. His guilt is not being questioned.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 3: 09 p.m. 1600 block McDonough Street Monday May 18

Man showed up at woman's home wanting to repair relationship. Officer stood by as he left area.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 3: 27 p.m. 1000 block Pearl Street Saturday May 7

Woman ended relationship but ex-boyfriend would not leave.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 1: 28 p.m. 1100 block Fourth Street Saturday March 12

Woman concerned ex was going to harm their three kids.

Ohio Man Executed While Making Obscene Gesture November 16, 2011 The Blade

A man, who fatally shot his three sons while they slept in 1982, shortly after his wife filed for divorce, was executed Tuesday with each of his hands clenched in an obscene gesture.

Wayne Man Sentenced To Life In Prison For Son’s 2014 Death March 9, 2016 The Blade

Bowling Green --- James Henderson said he never intended to hurt his infant son, but “snapped” the day he fatally injured him because he was angry at others.

On the day the baby was killed, Henderson was taking care of his young son while the child’s mother, Elizabeth Speakman, was in Columbus for a concert. She testified that she had broken up with Henderson, but he was still living with her and her parents at their Pemberville Road home. Jennifer Feehan

Jennifer Hudson: Family Murder House For Sale? Singer wants to get rid of it, but sister determined to hang on to it.

Jennifer Hudson is feuding with her sister over whether to sell their family’s Chicago home --- the site of the gruesome murders of their mom and brother, sources tell The ENQUIRER.

As the only surviving children of their mom, Jennifer and her sister Julia now own the home equally and they disagree about what to do with it, says a close family insider. Jennifer is insisting they sell --- but Julia wants to hang on.

“Jennifer still breaks down at the thought of her mother being shot and dying on the living room floor,” explained the insider.

On October, 24th, 2008, the sisters’ 57 year old mother Darnell Donerson and brother Jason, 29, were found dead in the family’s Englewood home. Julia’s 7 year old son, Julian, was missing and found dead three days later.

Julia’s estranged husband, William Balfour, 28, has been charged in the murders and is awaiting trial in prison after pleading “not guilty” in January.

Jennifer, who is raising her 4 month old son with her fiancé David Otunga, feels selling the house will help put some of the horrible memories to rest.

“But Julia has told Jennifer that she has nothing and no one left in her life to hold on to, and she’s just not ready to let go of the house,” said the insider.

Although Jennifer has never publicly held her sister responsible for the murders, Julia feels that Jennifer secretly blames her, says the insider.

“Jennifer has never said anything about William’s involvement, but Julia and her estranged husband were living the street life that Jennifer desperately fought to escape.”

Julia and Balfour were reportedly separated when the murders occurred, but he erupted into a jealous rage because he believed she was dating another man.

“He was indicted on three counts of murder and one count of home invasion last December. Since then, the relationship between the sisters has been rocky,” says the insider. Patricia Shipp

Book: Loving Amy By: Janis Winehouse Could Amy Winehouse Have Been Saved?

Some sources said she was devastated at a break-up with her boyfriend of one year, film director Reg Travis, whom gossip reports suggested had had enough of her propensity for partying. The first time she went into rehab, by her own glib account, was before she recorded the 2007 smash “Rehab” and helped inspire the nay-saying song.

“I did go to rehab, for just 15 minutes,” she told The Sun. “I went in and said hello and explained that I drink because I’m in love and have messed up the relationship. Then I walked out.”

Alexa Ray Joel: “I Hit Rock Bottom”

The trigger for her depression? A very bad case of heartbreak. Joel says she never really got over her first love, her former bassist Jimmy Riot, whom she began dating at 19. They lived together for two years before breaking up in early 2008 --- but had fleeting reconciliations at least four times. Joel found it difficult to move on.” “I only felt OK with him. I couldn’t play a show without him,” she says. I was addicted to this man,” and it spiraled out of control.” Liza Hamm

How To Be A Movie Star: Elizabeth Taylor In Hollywood

The legendary screen star tried to take her life by downing a handful of the powerful sleeping pills (Seconal), according to a publishing source familiar with the book by William J. Mann, How To Be A Movie Star: Elizabeth Taylor In Hollywood. “The sleeping pills nearly killed her,” divulged the source. The incident occurred when Liz first fell for Burton on the set of “Cleopatra.” At the time, she was married to her fourth husband, actor Eddie Fisher.

“When Richard called off their secret love affair in 1961 while she was the biggest star in the world, Liz attempted suicide,” the source said. “Drunk and depressed, taking pills was her way of throwing a tantrum. And it almost took her life!” Liz eventually married and divorced Burton twice.

The hard drinking actor died at age 58 in 1984.

Your Best: The Road Back From Depression Even celebrities aren’t immune to despair April 2012 Health Monitor

Owen Wilson The trigger: Possibly the Meet The Parents stars breakup with Kate Hudson and drug addiction.

“I’ve started to notice that, as you get older, mental health is as fragile as physical health,” he has said. “You can get sideswiped by stuff like depression. I’m an up and down person.”

Treatment: Hospitalization after his suicide attempt in August 2007 and anti-depressants.

Coping strategies: Swimming in Malibu, California, taking time off work; and spending time with family and close friends.

Gossip With Mike Walker: Mother Knows 2

Goldie Hawn fought hard to break up the rekindled romance of daughter Kate Hudson and troubled star Owen Wilson, reveals an insider --- finally convincing Kate just before her 30th birthday that it was time to face her future honestly and understand that a man who’d attempted suicide by slitting his wrist was a bad risk for her and little Ryder, Goldie’s grandson.

In a tear filled, one hour plus sit down, Goldie pulled out all the stops and warned Kate that life with Owen would be a disaster, and she needed to pull the plug --- immediately! Kate fought back, says the source, but Mom’s love and logic finally overwhelmed her. Days later, she broke it off with Owen, once and for all. [email protected]

“I Never Planned To Have An Affair” December 2010 Men’s Health

Infidelity is generally thought to begin with deception, but Bryan’s story suggests that self deception may be the key ingredient.

Even before his best friend began lying for him when his wife called, and loaning his apartment for trysts, Bryan had become his own enabler by hiding the truth from himself.

Then Gina filed for divorce.

Five months later, his marriage gone, his girlfriend gone, his world in tatters, Bryan lay on the floor of this brand new apartment, curled in a ball as if trying to keep one last errant spark of himself from vanishing with the rest. The ugly furniture hulked around him in the dark, offering no comfort.

Serious relationship distress compounds the risk of major depression by up to 25 times, and Bryan was feeling every multiple.

He felt, in fact, like he’d reached the end. Looking up, he could just make out a bottle of rum on the kitchen counter, and it occurred to him that with a handful of Vicodin he could make it official. Oliver Broudy

Feeling Your Best: The Road Back From Depression Even celebrities aren’t immune to despair April 2012 Health Monitor

Jim Carrey The trigger: The Yes Man and Dumb & Dumber actor’s two failed marriages to Melissa Carrey and Lauren Holly.

Treatment: Antidepressants

Inside Jim’s Heartbreak October 19, 2015 Us Weekly

The Irish beauty --- legally married to another man at the time of her death --- set her suicide plan in action after Carrey, 53, asked for a break from their three year on off romance September 24th. Sarah Grossbart

The Record: Secret Pain October 2013 Us Weekly

Katy Perry, 28, revealed that she experienced suicidal thoughts after her 2011 split from husband Russell Brand.

Death At Lovers Lane Body found in scorched van July 1, 2013 The Register

Milan Twp --- A body found in a burning vehicle on Lovers Lane at the Milan Wildlife Area appears to have been a suicide. Melissa Topey

Woman Commits Suicide After Setting Truck Ablaze April 3, 2016 The Register

Elyria --- Police in a northeast Ohio city say a woman apparently killed herself outside of an ex-girlfriend’s townhome after setting the woman’s truck ablaze in a nearby intersection.

The Chronicle-Telegram reported the sequences of events unfolded around 1 p.m. Friday near Turner Blvd and Brunswick Drive in Elyria. Police did not immediately release the name of the 19 year old ex-girlfriend or the 21 year old suicide victim.

The driver left the Ford F 150 engulfed in flames, walked to the townhome and authorities said she shot herself there. Bystanders watching firefighters douse the fire reported hearing loud popping noises inside the truck.

The ex-girlfriend had called 911 warning the woman was drunk, had a gun and “might kill herself,”

Susan Smith: Profile Of A Child Killer: Rejection And An Attempted Suicide

During the summer of 1988, Susan got a job at the local Winn-Dixie grocery store and moved quickly up the ranks from cashier to bookkeeper.

In her senior year at high school she was sexually active with three men --- a married older man who worked at the store, a younger co-worker and with Bev.

Susan became pregnant and had an abortion. The married man ended their relationship and her reaction to the breakup was to attempt suicide by taking aspirin and Tylenol.

While being treated in the hospital she admitted to having tried a similar suicide attempt when she was 13 years old.

Charlie Sheen’s Ex-Fiancée Brett Rossi Sues Him After HIV Revelation, Claims He Forced Her To Have An Abortion December 3, 2015

Rossi tried to kill herself by overdosing on drugs in November 2014 after she says Sheen abruptly ended their engagement via text message, and again that December after she claims he sent her “insulting and demeaning text messages.” Michele Corriston

Police Blotter: Erie County Sheriff 2: 55 a.m. 7000 block Kalahari Drive Sunday June 7

Suicidal man on Kalahari foot bridge. He told deputies he saw ex-girlfriend at Golossalcon, wanted to run in front of vehicle. Man taken to hospital.

Suicide Leads To Common Reactions Among Loved Ones Rachel Velishek; Local Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor January 25, 2015 The Register

Love Beneath all the feelings of shock, guilt, anger and grief, there is an underlying love that survivors have for the one who has departed.

It hurts so much because we loved that person so much. They will never cease to be deeply treasured parts of our families and our lives.

Internet Posting July 7, 2015 at 10:48 am

Thank you for this article. My (soon to be ex) husband was controlling from the word go. We met online and he was funny and charming and he offered to come the 150 miles to visit for our first date.

He said he’d organize a hotel. He badgered his way into staying at mine. On the date he was full of compliments about how wonderful I was and I was desperate enough to believe every word.

Soon he was telling me the sob story of how his previous relationship had ended and how his cruel ex had taken his only child from him and disappeared. As time went on he gradually exposed more details until at last he had me thinking it was her fault he’d broken her nose and bruised her repeatedly.

By week 3 he had taken to randomly turning up in my hometown which I mentioned via text messaging to a friend who told me it was a bit weird. Especially since he knew I had plans.

But in my denial I decided it was because he’s missed me. He then claimed my friend had been bad mouthing me and saying I’d said he was a bit stalkerish. He successfully cut me off from her and others too.

We got engaged after about 10 months together and by then I was treading on eggshells. I paid all the bills while he gambled.

Any time I tried to ask for money it broke down into a list of all the ways in which I was lacking. He degraded me and made me feel absolutely worthless so when I accepted it was more because I didn’t think anyone else would ever have me.

Don’t get me wrong, at times he was lovely and then I was happy but generally I was pretty empty. Things went downhill from there.

A close relative committed suicide and he was a great comfort. Too great in fact-he threw a hissy fit with me in the hospital because my sisters who hadn’t spoken to my relative for some time spent time with them before we turned off the machines and he was upset he didn’t get to sit with them for longer because he’d spent time recently with them.

Afterwards I pushed on with wedding plans to distract myself from how empty everything seemed. I took out a loan to pay for it --- he quickly borrowed half of it with minimal resistance from me so I topped it up.

I was bursting into tears at random points as I was still grieving and he got fed up of it. He sat me down and told me it was my fault my relative did what they did. He really played on my guilt. And I half blamed myself anyway so it was no trouble to believe him fully. I was so lucky to have such a caring man that would be with a callous bitch like me.

We got married and I fell pregnant a few months later. He took to kicking me out of the house for hours at a time for no good reason. On one occasion I ended up in the ER after having a panic attack on a street corner. By then I had no friends left and had alienated my family. The doctor wasn’t very sympathetic and told me I was wasting their time which didn’t help.

They phoned him without my knowledge and he was lovely to the doctor but pinned me to the wall the second we were out of sight and told me I was a worthless bitch and not to be so stupid again.

My daughter was born and all was calm for a few days until she was three weeks old and he was back to work. Then he started calling me useless and telling me I had to have tea on the table and that I should be looking after myself better.

Then it gradually got worse with him telling me to kill myself like my relative did. One night when my daughter was 4 months old he did it again and I sat considering the best way to end my life.

Then I had an epiphany --- if I died then my daughter would be brought up thinking his toxic views were normal. The next morning I packed a bag and left.

I’ve been gone for over a year and a half and I’m now in a supportive relationship. I clearly see what he did to me and I appreciate this article as I’ve shown it to my boyfriend to help him understand how my ex managed to get away with treating me so badly.

Book: Legal Q & A By: Reader’s Digest What To Include In A Separation Agreement

Separation agreements start out by giving the names, addresses, birth dates, and other facts about the husband, wife and children. The agreement then describes each person’s rights and obligations during the separation. To cover these points, separation agreements are in writing and usually include: A statement in which the husband and wife agree to live apart

A list dividing personal property

An agreement about who will hold title to any real estate

An agreement about who will pay financial support, the amount to be paid, and if the amount can be changed.

An agreement about who will have custody of the children

A schedule of visitation rights for the noncustodial parent

A provision detailing the children’s financial support

An agreement on who will pay medical, dental, education, and other special expenses.

An explanation of insurance benefits and premium payments, and who is responsible for them.

A statement of whether joint or single income tax returns will be filed and who is responsible for the payments and the paperwork if joint returns are necessary.

A description of debts owed jointly and individually, including legal fees, and who will pay them.

A statement of whether there are limitations on the right of each spouse to inherit from the other.

Book: Legal Q & A By: Reader’s Digest

Question: Marie and Richard are having marital problems and have agreed to separate. Should they get a separation agreement?

Answer: Yes. Couples who work out separation agreements have a better chance of avoiding misunderstandings over their rights and obligations and preventing long and costly court battles to settle child custody and property disputes.

Each spouse also benefits from the protection a separation agreement provides.

For example, if Richard agrees to give Marie $300 a month for support, a separation agreement could make this a legal obligation, enforceable in court, if necessary; rather than leave it to his good intentions.

Richard is likewise protected if Marie decides to demand $400 instead of $300. When children are involved, a separation agreement is even more important because it can spell out in detail each spouse’s continuing rights and obligations.

Question: Do I have to go to court to get a separation?

Answer: No, not if your spouse agrees to the separation. There are two types of separation: separation by agreement and judicial separation the two types are similar in content and effect.

A separation by agreement requires only the agreement of both husband and wife to separate. Although it is not legally necessary, couples should have a written agreement drawn up by their attorneys that specifies each person’s rights, obligations, and property interests during the separation

If your spouse won’t agree to this procedure, you will have to go to court and get a judicial separation. This second type of separation is also called a legal separation or limited divorce. It requires court action and is used when one spouse will not agree to a separation.

One spouse files a petition for separation much like applying to the court for a divorce. If the court rules in favor of granting the petition, it will order the separation and issue a decree.

Book: Legal Q & A By: Reader’s Digest

Question: I know of at least one instance when my husband was unfaithful. Is this enough grounds for a divorce?

Answer: Yes, if you live in a state that recognizes adultery as a ground for divorce, as the majority of states does.

At one time, some states allowed a husband to divorce his wife for just one adulterous act, while giving a wife the right to divorce her husband only if he consistently engaged in a pattern of adultery.

This is no longer the case. The states that recognize adultery as a ground for divorce require only one adulterous act, regardless of which spouse committed it.

However, whether a divorce will be granted also depends on your own behavior. If you condoned your husband’s actions by failing to raise the issue or by voluntarily resuming or continuing marital relations with him, your husband may be able to prevent the divorce by showing that you had forgiven him.

Question: Jean wants to get a no fault divorce. Will her husband’s infidelity have an effect on the divorce proceedings?

Answer: It may. If Jean files for the divorce and her husband contests it, Jean may be required to give proof of his infidelity in order to get the divorce. But if Jean and her husband agree to the divorce, his infidelity should have no effect on the divorce proceedings.

Question: What is a no fault divorce?

Answer: In a no fault divorce, neither spouse must prove that the other is guilty of wrongdoing that is grounds for divorce. Some form of no fault divorce is now available in all states and is granted for incompatibility, irretrievable breakdown, breakdown of the marriage relationship, or irreconcilable differences. These terms have the same meaning --- that the marriage has failed and no reconciliation is possible.

Some states also recognize living apart according to a separation agreement as grounds for a no fault divorce. Many states have changed the term divorce to dissolution of marriage in their statutes.

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10 Facts About Divorce Every Woman Should Know In a world where Divorce Court is an actual TV show, most of us have watched marital bliss end in real time.

But whether you're witnessing your BFF's split or Brangelina's, there's one thing that all divorces have in common: There's no set script for splitting up. “Getting divorced is a process full of unknowns, and there's no right way to do it,” says divorce coach Karen Finn, Ph.D.

That being said, researchers have studied why marriages end, the weird things that cause divorce, and how many people are actually getting divorced. Here are the facts you need to know.

1. You don't want to get married too early --- or wait too long People who get hitched between the ages of 28 and 32 have the lowest risk of divorce, according to research published by the Institute of Family Studies.

The authors suggest that tying the knot when you're too young can lead to a split because you don't have the maturity or coping skills necessary to make it work.

Meanwhile, waiting too long opens the door for messy past relationships and set- in-stone lifestyle habits to get in the way of a healthy marriage.

2. March and August are the most popular months for filing a divorce According to University of Washington sociologists who analyzed divorce filings in the state of Washington between 2001 and 2015, most people put off filing during the holidays (kind of kills the mood), and by the time they get their resources together again spring rolls around. At the same time, summer divorces are usually an attempt to have that conversation before the kids head back to school.

3. Women are more likely to initiate a divorce Ladies set 69 percent of all marital splits into motion. Weirdly, men and women equally initiate breakups before tying the knot, according to research from Stanford University.

4. Forget that freaky 50 percent divorce stat you keep hearing The average employed woman only has a 2 percent chance of getting divorced before age 30, and a 19 percent chance of splitting up with her husband’s by the age of 50, according to data from the 2014 American Community survey. Not so bad, right?

5. Porn might cause the two of you to drift apart A random study from the University of Oklahoma found that people that started watching porn after marriage doubled their risk of divorce.

Worse, dirty flicks had a stronger effect on women.

Their risk for divorce tripled (going from 6 to 18 percent) if they started watching the X-rated stuff after getting hitched. Like most study results, the correlation between divorce and starting a new porn habit while married does not prove causation. Some experts say porn can even boost your bond in bed. Grain of salt, people.

6. Boozing heavily ups your risk for divorce That's especially true if you're throwing back more than your husbands, according to a study in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research.

The risk of divorce actually triples when a female partner drinks heavily and her husband doesn’t drink at all. Booze compatibility matters.

7. Where you live might affect how long you stay hitched For a study by the personal finance company WalletHub, researchers collected data from U.S. agencies like the Bureau of Labor Statistics to discover which states had the highest divorce rates in the country.

They were (in order) Washington D.C., Nevada, Florida, Louisiana, and Mississippi. Meanwhile the longest-lasting married couples were located in Utah, North Dakota, Minnesota, New Jersey, and Hawaii.

8. There's a premarital sex sweet spot A study from the University of Utah found that while women with ten or more sexual partners were the most likely to get a divorce, women with three to nine sexual partners were less likely to get a divorce than women who had just two partners.

But don't let a magic number keep you from doing you.

9. A big rock might lead to a rocky marriage According to a survey from Emory University professors, couples who spend less on their wedding and engagement rings tend to have longer-lasting marriages than those who splurge.

Forking over $2, 000 to $4, 000 on an engagement ring increases your risk of divorce by 1.3 times, compared to spending between $500 and $2, 000.

Meanwhile, women who spent more than $20, 000 on their weddings had a divorce rate 1.6 times higher than those who spent between $5, 000 and $10, 000.

And spending under $1,000 on nuptials meant couples had a lower than average divorce rate. Go figure.

10. Arguing with your S.O. about where the cash goes is a slippery slope Regardless of how much you pull in, financial arguments are one of the top predictors of divorce, according to Kansas State University researchers. Mo' money fights, mo' splits.

9 Divorcées Confess Exactly What Ruined Their Marriages

When two people promise to spend a lifetime together on their wedding day, they expect those vows to last forever. But even after swearing to be there through the good and the bad, sometimes the bad is enough for one person to serve the other with a stack of divorce papers.

From extramarital affairs to personality clashes, this is what ultimately caused these nine people to throw in the towel on marriage.

“About six years into my marriage, I found out my husband was cheating on me when I walked in on him with one of our neighbors. We had been married for a good chunk of time, but I had no choice but to file for divorce that same week.

It wasn’t something I could forgive and forget. It was painful to say goodbye and start life over, but sometimes that’s just how life and love is. You think you know someone and that you’ll stay with them no matter what, but that’s not realistic. People break your heart no matter how many times they promise they won’t.” Trisha A., 32

“The only thing we ever talked about toward the end of our marriage was how we didn’t have enough money for anything we wanted.

We were renting an apartment and wanted to buy a house, but we couldn’t afford to because we had stacks of credit card debt and student loans to pay off. It became a nightmare because every conversation and fight was about making more or saving more money.

We drove ourselves into misery and just both decided this wasn’t the life we wanted to live. We decided to go our separate ways after two years of marriage and two years of dating.” Carla H., 29

“My job was super demanding. I was promoted to the role of VP of marketing for a tech start-up I worked at for three years. I was working 70 hours a week, minimum, plus weekends.

My husband didn’t like this at all. Mainly because he would come home from work before me and have to make his own dinner and do his own laundry. I was anything but a housewife.

He should have known that when he married me. I think he did. He just thought eventually I’d give up my career. But I kept getting promoted and loving what I was doing.

In the end, he asked me to pick my job or him. We got a divorce. We were only married for a year-and-a-half, so it wasn’t that hard to split up.” Jana L., 35

“One thing I wish I did before I even said yes to getting married to this person was talk about serious topics like having kids and how we would raise these kids, meaning what values and religious beliefs we’d instill in them.

About a year into the marriage, I mentioned that I wanted to start trying to have kids. He looked at me with utter shock. It turned out he didn’t want kids, ever.

He swears he mentioned that to me when we were dating. I think he did once, but super casually. I thought he didn’t really mean it or he would change his mind.

But he refused. I admit that I messed up by not having this conversation with him beforehand so that I knew he was so against having kids. Having kids was something I wanted enough that it made me realize I need to get out of this marriage.” Mary J., 28

“When your family doesn’t gel well, nothing will. My parents didn’t like him or his parents. His parents liked me, but not my parents.

Our backgrounds were completely different: My family is from Africa and his is from Texas.

Because our family fought so much, it made us fight. Their differences became our differences, and it just wasn’t working out anymore.” Jocelyn K., 27

“I should have known something was up because even the year before we got married, he didn’t want to have sex with me.

I didn’t know what was wrong, but I figured he was stressed with work or life. Two years into our marriage, we had sex only about four times. Every time I brought it up to him, he would change the subject or just get mad.

I just decided he wasn’t attracted to me, and I didn’t want to be in a marriage where I felt so bad about myself.” Jodi L., 31

“Our mistake was that we didn’t live together before we got married. There’s only so much you know about a person before you actually live with them. When we moved in together, about three months after we were married, the truth came out.

He had all these weird habits that didn’t work with my habits. We fought a ton. I was always looking for reasons to not come home because I didn’t want to see him. It was like living with an awful college roommate.

Our marriage ended about nine months after we started living together.” Miriam H., 27

“His tagline was always 'oh, don’t worry about that now. We’ll figure it out.' But the thing is, we never figured it out.

He wanted to sell our belongings and travel for a year together. He didn’t have a job.

I wanted to move to California to be close to my family, and I wanted him to get a job.

We just didn’t align in our lifestyles, and even though it was like that when we were dating, he kept promising me it would just work out somehow. Well, it didn’t.” Krista B., 29

“I blame myself. I don’t deal well with confrontation, so every time we had a fight I’d toss him the silent treatment.

I’d hold onto grudges for far too long, and I wouldn’t tell him how I was really feeling. Eventually, he said he had enough with me and my antics. He left me and asked for a divorce after 18 months of marriage. I could hardly blame him.” Maggie N., 30

Book: Legal Q & A By: Reader’s Digest Visitation For Grandparents

One of the cruelest blows that grandparents can suffer is the loss through no fault of their own, of any chance to visit with their grandchildren.

Suppose, for example, a former daughter in law wins custody of the children and refuses to let her ex-husband's parents see the youngsters.

Or she marries a man who adopts the children and then refuses to allow the natural grandparents to visit the children.

In the past, grandparents had no legal right to visit their own grandchildren, no matter how close they might be.

Happily, the law now provides a solution. In all 50 states there are statutes guaranteeing grandparents the right to petition the court for visitation rights.

Although each case is judged individually, the court generally views it as in the children's best interest to have friendly relationships with their grandparents.

If there is no evidence to prove that such visits would have a harmful effect, the judge will specify the terms of visitation in much the same way they are spelled out in custodial agreements between divorcing couples.

Weiner's Wife Mirrors Hillary Clinton, But He's No Bill July 30, 2013 The Blade

Washington --- After he got caught sexting and flashing women online in 2011, he promised to “never, ever” do that to his family again and slouched away from Congress. He cyber creeped other young women in a pervy bout of tweet du seigneur as his wife traveled the world with Hillary Clinton while she was Secretary of State.

Yet while married to the classy, gorgeous mother of his infant son and planning a run for mayor of New York, Mr. Weiner told a Face book friend and phone sex partner he had never met that he loved her.

Weiner’s Wife Leaving In New Sexting Clinton aide Huma Abedin separating from husband for latest scandal August 30, 2016 The Blade

New York ---The photos included several shots of Mr. Weiner bare-chested and two close-ups of his bulging underpants.

In one of the pictures, Mr. Weiner is lying on the bed with his toddler son while he is texting the woman, according to the New York Post. The tabloid also ran sexually suggestive text messages that it said the two exchanged.

EXCLUSIVE December 1, 2016: He's baaack! Serial sexter Anthony Weiner is spotted in New York after a stint in a Tennessee sex rehab as estranged wife Huma Abedin gets all gussied up to welcome him at the home they STILL SHARE.

Dishing Up The Dirt On Celebrity Judges: Wolfgang Puck

“The Puck Stops Here” would be the perfect motto for the world renowned chef’s ex-wife Barbara. She wound up with an estimated $150 million when she ditched Wolfgang in 2002, whose original Hollywood eatery Spago was THE place for Tinsel Town’s elite to eat. Wolfgang’s problem was he was too much of a wolf, according to sources who believe the 61 year old daytime Emmy winner may have done more than just cook for his sexiest customers.

Wife Convinced Dylan Walsh Was Cheating!

Dylan, 47, was launched to fame in 2003 after winning the starring role of Dr. Sean McNamara on the hit FX series. “Joanna told him that women would be throwing themselves at him when he hit it big, and that her biggest fear was that he’d get carried away with his fame and cheat, revealed an insider. “She thinks her worst fear came true recently, when she became convinced that he’d been seeing one woman for over a year.”

Joanna, 47, kicked the actor out of their Hollywood home after a blowup over her suspicions of an affair. “Dylan begged Joanna to reconsider, but she refused,” continued the insider. “She said she’d never trust him again.” Sarah Cordes

Book: He’s Just Not That Into You By: Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo

I was dating a guy I really liked who played in a popular local band. After a few weeks of dating he told me that he slept with some girl after one of his gigs.

Sadly, a few years ago I probably would have been so into dating a guy in a band that I would have just pretended it had never happened and forgotten he had ever told me about it. This time, I told him that it was cool; he’s allowed to do whatever he wants. He just won’t be seeing me ever again. It felt good! Adele

Reverend Jamal Bryant Breaks Silence Over Latest Baby Allegations June 22, 2016 The Toledo Journal

Last month, the Reverend Jamal H. Bryant of Baltimore’s Empowerment Temple Church took to social media to address rumors and allegations that he had fathered another child and was refusing to pay child support for it.

This is not Bryant’s first brush with public backlash.

In 2007, he reportedly admitted to fathering an illegitimate child from the pulpit while he was married amidst pressure for him to step down as pastor.

Bryant and his then wife have since divorced. James Bentley

She Feels Elin’s Pain

Candy Truhand had been married to L.A. Dodgers first basemen Steve Harvey for 10 years when she discovered he had cheated on her with his secretary in 1981. Their two daughters were 6 and 5 at the time the couple split. When Truhand, now 60, heard of Tiger Woods’ alleged affair, the painful memories came flooding back.

“I understand the rage, the hurt and anger. I remember grabbing something and smashing up the office that he and his mistress shared.”

“I was married to one of the most famous athletes of the time. I loved him, and what happened is a hurt that lasts your whole life. It affects everyone like a terrible car accident, where people survive but are never the same.”

“The responsibility for my daughters is what saved me. I knew I had to be there for them.” “Just because a person can hit a ball doesn’t mean they are a role model.”

“Real men of character don’t cheat on their wives and hurt their families.”

“Don’t Look Back” Connie Francis’ advice for Sandra Bullock

“You’re better off without him --- love should not hurt!” That sage advice for heartbroken Sandra Bullock comes from music legend Connie Francis, who endured four crumbled marriages --- two to husbands who were physically abusive.

Like Sandra, the singer also adopted a son, and she predicts that the Oscar winner’s newly adopted son will heal the pain caused by her husband Jesse James’ serial cheating.

“My advice for Sandra is to keep walking and don’t look back,” Connie told The ENQUIRER in an exclusive interview.

“She thought she’d found the man of her dreams, but he betrayed her. He is not worthy of her.”

Scoop: Iggy Azalea (Love Trouble) April 18, 2016 PEOPLE

Following a break from the spotlight because of what she has called a “turbulent” year --- she canceled her Great Escape tour, and said she suffered a “psychotic breakdown” --- Iggy Azalea, 25, returned on March 18th with her single “Team.”

But what should have been a triumphant comeback was quickly overshadowed by even more devastation: a leaked video of her fiancé, Los Angeles Lakers player Nick Young, 30, allegedly confessing to infidelity to teammate D’Angelo Russell.

The Aussie rapper, who had previously postponed her wedding too Young to go on tour, tweeted, “im not tryna marry a cheater,” after the news broke.

But four days later she arrived at the iHeartRadio Music Awards still sporting her 10 carat engagement ring and spending time with close gal pal Demi Lovato. “She’s doing great,” says a source close to the singer who doesn’t think she and Young will break up. “She’s focused on her single and being very cool.” Jeff Nelson

Wife Sues Cell Phone Company After husband discovers her affair through monthly bill

Gabriela Nagy let her fingers do the walking but her cell phone bill did the talking! Her husband discovered she was having an affair by checking her phone bill so now she’s suing the cell phone company for $600, 000!

“It’s all the company’s fault,” 37-year-old Gabriela insists. “They’re guilty of invasion of privacy and breach of contract, and as a result my life has been ruined.” “It’s terrible!” Gabriela, an attractive brunette, said that as a result of the cell phone firm’s billing practices, her husband left her and she lost her $130, 000 job as an apartment rental agent.

Gabriela’s marriage troubles began in 2007 when she had a cell phone account with Rogers Wireless Inc, in Toronto. The monthly bill was sent to her home address in her maiden name. Her husband was the account holder for the family’s cable TV service at the same address. On June 4th, 2007, he called Rogers to add Internet and home phone service to the account.

The following month, Rogers mailed an invoice for all of its services to the home. It included the itemized bill for Gabriela’s cellular service, according to court papers. When Gabriela’s husband opened the Rogers invoice, he saw several hour long phone calls from Nagy to a single phone number.

Her husband called the number and spoke to the “third party,” who confirmed his wife was having an affair. “It was with someone I met while working and it only lasted three weeks,” said Gabriela. “My husband didn’t tell me that’s how he found out, he just left.”

Gabriela’s court claim says: “The husband used the previously private and confidential information that the defendant (the phone company) unilaterally disclosed to the husband to inquire about the people that the plaintiff (Nagy) was telephoning and the nature of such calls.”

Gabriela said her husband told her: “Thank God for the cell phone bill. “Had it not come bundled in my cable service, I would never have known.” After her husband left her and their two children, ages 6 and 7, she says she was so distraught her work performance suffered and she lost her high paying job.

Now she’s suing Rogers for $600, 000. “Rogers is not the cause. The marriage breakup and the effects happened --- regardless of the form in which the plaintiff and her husband received their invoices for Roger’s services,” said the company.

Gabriela says she is deeply embarrassed and ashamed about what happened. “The affair was a mistake,” she admits, “but I don’t deserve to lose my life over it.” James McCandlish

Living Healthy: Men's Health Reviewed By: Michael W. Smith MD WebMD Chief Medical Editor Divorced? Now what? Avoid these three pitfalls after moving on August 2013 WebMD the Magazine

Book: The Guys Only Guide To Getting Over Divorce And On With Life, Sex, And Relationships By: Sam J. Buser, PhD

Isolating yourself After a divorce, it's easy for a guy to let himself become isolated, especially if his ex gets custody of the kids.

That's another big mistake. It can worsen feelings of depression, guilt and loneliness, a potentially dangerous mix.

Divorced men are twice as likely to commit suicide as married men.

Buser's advice: Connect with other guys.

Call up old friends.

Join a softball team, a club, or a professional association.

“Expand your social and professional network to avoid isolation.”

He also says the aftermath of a divorce is a great time to go back to school: Returning to the classroom keeps you active, stimulates your mind, potentially advances your career, and gets you out of the house.

Dating too soon Too many men start dating before the dust has settled on their divorce, says psychologist Sam J. Buser, PhD, co-Author of The Guys Only Guide To Getting Over Divorce And On With Life, Sex, And Relationships. They rush into new relationships --- and often new marriages --- within the first year.

“That's no doubt the biggest mistake,” says Buser.

Buser says men jump into dating because they're lonely, vulnerable, and sad and they're looking for someone to help them feel better.

“The relationships they start do not often work out in the long run,” he says. “I advise my patients to wait at least two years. I've never had a man take me up on that advice, but I do try to slow them down.” Matt McMillen

Book: Straight Talk No Chaser By: Steve Harvey Question: How do men get over getting hurt in relationships?

Mr. Harvey: For the most part, we move on. We go get somebody else. Are we scared? Sure, but we’ll go forward, scared, beat up, teeth cracked, bones broken.

We have a moment of pause, a moment of regret, and then we get over it the best way we know how: by finding someone else.

From Star Singer To Extraordinary Songwriter to “Atlanta Housewives”: She’s Kandi Burruss A Jamie Foster Brown Interview

Ms. Foster-Brown: Do you think you all can get back together later on?

Ms. Burruss: Well no, honestly, it’s just my personality. I’m not a back and forth type of person.

Once you say it’s over, it’s pretty much done. And then it was just like something else happened after he moved out.

He was like, “Well let’s work it out.” And I was like, “Well no.

Let’s figure some things out.”

And then the next day, I see him out with some woman. I was like, “Hold on, dude. We’ve only been broken up a couple of days.” (Laughs)

Book: Legal Q & A By: Reader’s Digest Question: How soon can I remarry after I am divorced?

Answer: You may not remarry until the court issues the final divorce decree ending your current marriage. In addition, some statuses also have a waiting period following the decree-ranging from one to six months before you can remarry.

Internet Posting: A guy I dated when I was in my 20’s told me that he did that to get his ex wife to divorce him.

So knowing that, when I thought he was doing that to me, I waited it out, just to see if HE would break down and break if off. He finally did, and even though I “won,” it’s a hollow victory.

If you think you are in that situation, it’s best to break it off, even if means he “wins.” Don’t even try to get into this pi**ing contest.

First The Divorce, Then Engagement

Dear Miss Manners: I have been going through a rough divorce for more than a year now and have met a wonderful man who wants to get engaged.

My husband is trying to hold out in settling the divorce as long as he can for financial reasons.

Is it unethical for me to get engaged while still going through this divorce, when he has moved on with another woman, and I am not dating someone?

Gentle Reader: You’re not? Miss Manners would have thought that was a necessary prelude to become engaged.

Perhaps you anticipate being in marital limbo for some time, during which you hope to resettle yourself.

Or perhaps you are dating, but are being discreet about it. The likelihood is that you have agreed to marry the wonderful gentleman, so what is in question is whether you go public with the engagement.

Discretion is not a favorite virtue of the selfie generation, even among those who have heard of the concept. But for a married lady to declare herself engaged is in bad taste. www.missmanners.com

Book: Sex And The New Single Girl By: Helen Gurley Brown The Divorcing Man

This person is usually overrated as marriage material. He has his interlocutory decree (or whatever is the comparable document in your state), true but still has time to serve before his divorce is final.

If he has children, chances are he’s still more married than single. Certainly during those first few months after leaving his troubled Shangri La, he is in shock. You hold his hand, cook his food and reassure him that the kids won’t forget who Daddy is.

And what does he do? He goes over to their house on the least excuse. He mows their yard, mends their roof and has endless talks with her (described by him as “arguments”) long after it’s supposed to be over.

After all, you remind him of the awful transition period! Count the divorcing man a friend but don’t consider all your problems solved just because you helped him solve his.

Randy Travis Moves In With Lover She kicked her ex out of the family home to make room for the newly single singer

His affair with Mary and marriage breakup is part of a full fledged midlife crisis Randy is working through, according to the source.

“Randy is drinking a lot,” the friend said. “All he wants to do now is party and have a good time. He keeps telling Mary they’re going to have a beautiful future together. But whenever the topic of marriage comes up, he stalls her.”

“Mary is starting to worry that Randy is turning into a goodtime Charlie, and their romance is really just a fling.” John South

Cosmo Post: Rebound Or The Real Thing? Signs your post breakup boyfriend is just a fling

You constantly compare your ex to your current guy.

The relationship is moving at warp speed, which could mean you’re just trying to fill a void, not get to know him.

You don’t talk about your past relationship with your boyfriend.

Surprisingly, repressing those feelings signals that you’re not serious about the new guy. Jim Houran PhD Relationship Psychologist

Book: Rules 11 By: Ellen Fein & Sherrie Schneider Don’t Be The Rebound Girl And Other Rules

Dating a man who is separated Be sure the man you are dating is at the very least separated from his wife. But don’t assume he is. How can you tell?

If he doesn’t give you his home number, tells you the best way to get in touch with him is by his beeper or gives you a phone number but he’s never there when you call, doesn’t introduce you to family or friends, and acts on the secretive side, then you must wonder!

Something is off.

Be on the alert. He might be trying to juggle two lives. You’ll find out soon enough if you do The Rules and pay attention.

Book: Why Hasn’t He Called? By: Matt Titus & Tamsen Fadal

“To be perfectly honest, I went out with her in the first place to test whether I really wanted to move in with my longtime girlfriend.”

Book: He’s Just Not That Into You By: Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo

100% of men polled who had “disappeared” on a woman said that at the time they were completely aware of what a horrible thing they were doing, and no woman calling them up and talking to them would have changed that.

Why Maci & Kyle Can’t Let Go Bookout and King broke up after Teen Mom cameras stopped rolling --- but that doesn’t mean the relationship is over. July 9, 2012 Us Weekly

After Bookout indulged in a quick rebound romance --- with 21 year old motor cross racer Kyle Regal --- she and King reconnected.

“We waited a few months, but then we started hanging out and talking about what went wrong,” she tells Us.

“We’ve had multiple conversations about certain things we would have liked to have done differently.” Bookout, for instance, regrets pressuring King to put a ring on it so they could start a family of their own --- ASAP. Sarah Grossbart

Dear Miss Manners: My sister and I are close. Our husbands have become friends over the past twenty years. Now my sister and her husband are experiencing a long and unhappy but not yet legal, separation.

Although my brother in law has lived with his girlfriend throughout the separation, he and my sister still profess a desire for reconciliation.

How do my husband and I conduct ourselves without offending my husband’s right to friendship, my sister’s wounded feelings, and my loyalty?

Gentle Reader: If your brother in law and his wife make their separation legal, you and your husband may certainly entertain them separately with whatever partners they may have. There are too many such disruptions now for anyone to expect others to take sides in their separations.

If, however, you pursue their fair minded policy now, during the trial period, and there is a successful reconciliation, they could easily, in their new harmony, transfer residual feelings of ill will to you.

Worse, you could get stuck with the friendship of the now deserted girlfriend. At that rate, you would always have at least one weepy person in the house.

It seems to Miss Manners that a temporary policy of blood over friendship would be practical. www.missmanners.com

Dear Miss Manners: My ex-husband has made advances towards me since we separated.

I am having problems with how to deal with these advances.

He is currently engaged to and living with the woman he left me for.

I want to tell his fiancée about the advances but I don’t think she would believe me.

Gentle Reader: Miss Manners understands perfectly why you want your former husband to stop annoying you, but she is less clear about why you want to tell his fiancée.

Because you think she’ll be a good influence on him?

How you protect yourself depends on the circumstances in which these advances are made.

You may be in a position to cut off contact with him, but if not, you may need outside assistance, and should talk to your lawyer or even the police.

You cannot, however, protect his fiancée.

However good hearted your intentions, Miss Manners suggests you give up the thought of trying. www.missmanners.com

Lauren Forcella: Straight Talk For Teens Divorced Dad Has A Sweetheart

Dear Straight Talk: I have been separated/divorced for 15 months. About nine months ago, following a rebound relationship, I met someone I’m serious about.

I’m as surprised as anyone at how fast it happened. Because this woman is a big part of my life, I would like to introduce her to my son and daughter who are in college.

Trouble is, my kids are still upset about the breakup even though it was mutual and there were no other love interests.

I believe they feel protective of their mother, who is taking the divorce harder than I am.

However, if I wait much longer I’m worried they will be upset that I’ve kept secrets.

What do the panelists think is the appropriate time to know about a divorced parents’ significant other? It’s not like she is 20 years younger. She is my age and respectable. I want to make things best for everyone. Monterey, California

Hannah 17: My parents divorced many years ago and it still hurts. My father began dating seriously, but he never told me or my siblings. When I discovered his secret girlfriend (s) through my own investigation, I was very hurt that he kept things from me. I felt I was less a part of his life and that he was separating from our “family” even more.

Tell your kids. If they aren’t comfortable they don’t need to meet her yet, but it’s important that they know you care enough to keep them involved in the bigger aspects of your life.

Omari 17: Tell your kids! Keeping a secret like this can damage your relationship with your children. Since the separation was mutual, your kids probably understand that you are not meant to be together.

Also, please know that finding someone else quickly is not a bad thing. Life is about finding happiness. And if you are happy, this will make your kids happy (though maybe not at first).

That the woman is your age helps, too. It’s not like you’re seeing someone your daughter’s age. It’s been nine months. Telling your kids is essential. It lets the woman know you are serious and lets your kids know they are important parts of your life.

With no secrets, life is a lot easier to live.

From Lauren: Dear Monterey: Divorce is one of the biggest stressors a child goes through.

However, a bigger stressor, as I’ve noted in earlier columns, is a “missing” parent.” Kids want and need emotionally connected relationships with their parents --- this is the primary thing. It exceeds in importance the survival of the marriage. I agree with the panelists completely.

Once a relationship is deemed “serious” it shouldn’t be kept a secret (as opposed to less serious ones, which kids are best spared from).

Even if your kids were younger, I’d tell them. Not doing so only separates you. Part of you becomes “missing” and they can feel that.

Children don’t need to know everything about a parent’s life; some things are best left unshared. And younger children should be sheltered whenever possible from topics beyond their scope.

But teenagers and emerging adult children should be kept in the loop of important issues and events in their parents’ lives, including work, finances, health problems, and significant relationships.

Finally, no child is ever too old to be told, “Nothing about this divorce is, or has ever been, your fault.”

Redbook: MomCentric Getting back out there: Single mom edition

“My kids were sleeping, so I invited my date in after a night out. One thing led to another, and we were in my bed. It must have tired us both out, because we fell asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night next to my snoring naked date and my 4 year old son, who had crawled in while we were sleeping. I panicked, threw on a shirt, and carried my son back to his bed. Needless to say, I no longer invite dates home.” Jodi

Sue says December 6, 2010 at 6:55 pm

Thank you SO MUCH for this list! I’m going to cancel a coffee date with someone new tonight because when he called me Saturday night, he had his two daughters with him --- his turn with them for the weekend --- and all he talked about was his ex, who she’s dating, how he (that person) will influence his kids, etc…

As my nephew would say, it was a “yukky poo” conversation. Goodbye to him!

Pengal says December 6, 2010 at 11:25 pm

Strikingly similar situation here --- separated from his ex almost a year. Been with me a mere month --- but doesn’t do “rebounds.”

Already told me I am the love of his life. I want to believe him --- and mostly I do. Only difference is he is making an effort for me to get to meet his kids soon. Not really close friends with his soon to be ex wife --- but keeps in close contact for the kids. I have a hard time discerning between being jaded and not letting go of my past, and moving on officially.

Keiko says December 7, 2010 at 2:26 pm

I find it nice that he wants you to meet his kids, but I find it hard to believe what he tells you.

If I were you, I would wait and see. I learned from my mistake.

In my case, it was a serious relationship between the two of us --- we stayed together for almost a year --- and it had serious negative emotional consequences on me.

The fact that his wife calls him almost every day and I didn’t know, the fact that he lied about several things including why he was paying for health insurance for them.

Be very observant while you are not emotionally, physically and financially invested in the relationship.

I was and now it hurts so bad I feel like dying sometimes.

Book: Book Of Modern Manners By: Charlotte Ford Introducing Your Dates To Your Children

If you go out with someone more than once or twice, it's important that they meet your children at one point or another. Some people think introducing their children to their dates will precipitate too many questions afterward or will give the impression (to children and date alike) that the relationship is more serious than it actually is.

On the contrary, I think keeping children and dates apart causes more speculation --- on both sides --- than bringing them together. Just as your children do when they make new friends, bring your new friends home to meet your family.

Keeping someone away from your children will turn each of your evenings out into a mystery to them. Their meeting does not have to be a planned or a tension --- provoking moment; you needn't stage an event.

A new friend of yours can just say a simple hello or can stay for dinner, whatever fits in naturally with the time you had planned.

If your children behave badly when they're introduced to your friend of the opposite sex --- if they're hostile or withdrawn --- these problems won't disappear just because you don't confront them.

For severe problems, professional help may be the only answer. Hiding your children from your friends and vice versa is definitely not the answer.

I do think it's important for your children not to meet your friends at the breakfast table. Unless the children are very young, there's nothing casual about such a scene. A divorced person has every right to do whatever he or she wants to do, but until you're pretty secure in a relationship I think it's best to keep the children out of it. Don't fool yourself into thinking that it's good for the children to have a man or woman around, unless one person is around on a fairly regular basis.

If you know you will be seeing the person only temporarily, remember that love in the afternoon (when the children are on the beach or at the movies) was good enough for Gary Cooper and Audrey Hepburn.

On the other hand, if you are sharing a large part of your life with one person, you can begin to explain your ongoing relationship to a young child by saying, “He is my boy friend” or “she is my girl friend.”

The expression is a part of every child's language, beginning as early as kindergarten. And your child will understand the special significance of your relationship.

There is no formula to solve all the problems and hurt feelings that have been known to arise. Jealousy can occur on both sides; you must be equally sensitive to your children and your new friend. And be sure to plan private time with each.

Dear Miss Manners: Childless women who date divorced fathers would all agree, I suppose, that children should not have to meet and greet their dad’s Flavor Of The Week.

The couple should wait until the relationship stablizes. My problem is trying to keep a distance from these kids during the non serious era, without rudeness.

Situations often arise where the kids and I will be thrown together unless someone moves away. My single dad dates appear offended by my doing so, as if I am rejecting their kids, or perhaps them by extension.

And I certainly get offended by orders to back off, as if given half a chance I’d sneak in and audition for the role of stepmother. Whether I say, “I don’t think I should be meeting them yet,” or he says it, someone will feel hurt.

Should I just try to flee the situation without saying why?

Frankly, I think it is kinder for me to offer to excuse myself than for him to tell me to get lost but I am trying to focus on people other than the grown-ups and their self protective measures.

Gentle Reader: Somewhere around here, Miss Manners must still have the manners for meeting the parents of one’s, ah, honey. If she changes “honey” to “flavor” will those do?

She supposes not. The circumstances are too different. People actually give some weight to the opinions their children form about their romantic prospects. Miss Manners is glad that you do too, and urges you to assume that so do the fathers --- who are in a better position to know what is best for these particular children at this particular time than a lady who has never met them. www.missmanners.com

If they are in the stage of fearing that every lady their father meets is going to take him away from them, his reluctance would be understandable and you should not take it personally. Nor should you over interpret a suggestion that you should meet. Perhaps the children are more afraid of a mystery lady and would feel reassured to meet her.

Miss Manners agrees that children should not be involved in a parent’s romance until it is likely to affect their daily lives, but she believes they should get to know their parents’ friends. And a friend is what you are (Miss Manners prefers to skip the ice cream category), and should insist on appearing to be, in front of the children. True, children are no fools, but you need not provide evidence to the contrary. www.missmanners.com

Dear Miss Manners: I plan to visit a man that I met on the Internet. If things go as well as we think, we plan to become engaged. He has children in elementary school who will be with us part of the time. I asked about sleeping arrangements while they are there and he answered that they will not think anything of me sharing his bed.

I refuse to do this while they’re visiting. He thinks that I am too old-fashioned. I say that I have too much respect for them to do this. I feel that we would not set a good example for them. He tells me that they understand that adults are allowed choices that children aren’t. I say that right is right, no matter the year. What do you say?

Gentle Reader: Unless Miss Manners missed the part about how you first arranged a meeting with this person on safe ground, then got to know him and then fell in love with him you are talking about agreeing to consummate not exactly a relationship, but an exchange of e-mails with a stranger.

Furthermore, this is a stranger who is dismissive of your opinion in a matter of high concern to yourself, as well as of the concept of setting a good example for his children.

If this is what is meant by an adult choice, Miss Manners is afraid she wants no part of it. www.missmanners.com

Kate’s Steamy Romance: Ryder’s Rocky Ride Judith Orloff, MD, assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA

Since her split with Robinson in 2006, Kate Hudson has quickly introduced her son, Ryder, to the men in her life: Owen Wilson in 2006; Dax Shepard in 2007; Lance Armstrong in 2008; and Rodriquez in 2009.

The problem, says Dr. Judith Orloff, is that kids need consistency. “Ryder might have trouble bonding later.”

Couples News

Alex Rodriguez’s ex-wife, Cynthia Scurtis, is laying down the law when it comes to his new girlfriend, Cameron Diaz! She’s insisting that the actress, 37, stay away from her daughters with the New York slugger 34. After Madonna and Kate Hudson, Cynthia is sick of having all these women hanging around the girls. “She doesn’t think it’s healthy,” says a source.

Britney & Charlie’s Breakup July 6, 2015 Star

Earlier this year, when Britney Spears was asked if she could see herself walking down the aisle with boyfriend Charlie Ebersol, she gave a giggle and said, “You never know.” Well, now we do! Sources tell Star that the pop singer 33, and the Notre Dame educated entrepreneur, have split after eight months together. “Charlie enjoyed spending time with Britney and her boys,” dishes an insider.

Since the split, the Las Vegas showstopper has scrubbed every photo of her ex from her Instagram account.

No Contact With Sunny August 29, 2011 Us Magazine

A sad goodbye for Sunny! Sandra Bullock seems to be cutting all times to Jesse James --- even if it means limiting her connection to her ex-husband’s 7 year old child.

Who Gets The Pet? Couples Work Out Joint Custody June 12, 2016 The Blade (Associated Press)

When Tricia Lerdon and her husband separated, they had to figure out how to share their beloved dachshund, Jetson. “One of us giving up the dog?” she said. “That wasn’t even a conversation.”

So while living apart, they co-owned Jetson for several years until he died earlier this year. He traveled between their homes on the same schedule that their daughter did, so she would always have her pet’s company.

Pet custody disputes are on the rise, according to the American Academy Of Matrimonial Lawyers in Chicago, in a 2014 survey. The survey cited attorneys handling cases concerning cats, dogs, birds, and reptiles.

Christie Long, chief veterinarian for PetCoach, an online resource for pet owners, said that as pets have become more ingrained in families’ lives, pet owners who split up have come up with creative ways to ensure continued relationships with their animals.

She encourages owners to discuss the arrangement at the start of a breakup to avoid problems later. Think about how to provide and pay for veterinary care, and what measures to take if the animal gets sick, Ms. Long said. Also address discipline and pet behavior.

“If one party is more rigid about rules like no dogs on the couch and the other doesn’t care that much, you definitely want to discuss that,” she said. Yet she also believes Jeston would have been unhappy if he were cut off from either her or her ex. “It’s like a child,” she said. “You can’t keep a child from a parent.”

Long encourages pet owners to consider whether their pet also has a relationship with another animal in the household. “Animals are adaptable,” she said. “For the most part, they are happy to be with one owner. I would caution people about breaking up multiple pets that have bonded.

Keeping those pets together as much as possible will mean they are less likely to develop behavioral problems.”

Cat owners may want to think twice about pet sharing, Long said. Cats tend to become comfortable in a certain location and might not do well traveling between two residences, she said.

“If possible, select one party as the ‘primary’ owner and let the other owner have visitation rights in that home,” she suggested. “If this won’t work at all, consider a longer period of time for joint custody --- maybe six months at a time.”

Couples who have difficulty agreeing on a plan can turn to mediators who specialize in pet cases.

When Mosa Hsu and her ex could not reach agreement about their rescue dog, Pupineya, they turned to mediation. The process let them move pasts their anger at each other and work together, said Ms. Hsu, who lives in Charlottesville, Va.

“We don’t argue about fairness, inequity or recompense for prior wrongs anymore,” she said. “We value the terms of agreement --- visitations six months each for both of us per year --- because we created its terms.”

Mediation can help both parties have honest conversations about the animal, said Debra Hamilton of Hamilton Law And Mediation in Armonk, N.Y. It also results in an enforceable plan that both parties have agreed to.

Ms. Hamilton handles cases involving issues with breeders, and between pet owners and housing associations and service providers.

She estimates that about 25 percent of her business involves pet custody.

She has helped couples so angry with one another that they turn to a third party, such as a groomer, pet sitter or friend, to actually handle the logistics of handing the pet over. “If you truly want to keep the animal in your life, you find a person who’s going to be that go between,” she said.

Fling Or Future?

Answer these simple questions to find out if the man you met this summer should be just a summer thing or if he’s worth holding on to for the long haul.

1. Was your attraction to him immediate and intense or did it build slowly?

A) It was so powerful; it nearly knocked you off your feet.

B) You were only kind of attracted to him at first, but the feeling grew stronger as you got to know him.

2. Your conversations mostly revolve around ______

A) What you did last weekend, your favorite movies, where you should go for dinner.

B) Where you grew up, your friends, what’s going on at work?

3. When do you get together?

A) Friday or Saturday night. You spend the other night with your respective friends.

B) Whenever you can --- weeknights, weekends, any time you have a spare moment.

Title: Fight Or Flight? Happily Ever After Requires Communication Series: 2

Language: English

Non-Fiction Categories: How To * Self Help * True Crime * Entertainment * Pop Culture * Dating/Relationships * Current Affairs * Pets * Women’s Issues * Health * Social Issues *

Release Date: March 2017 Series: $12.49 /3 books no substitutions please Pages/Word Count: Available at a later date

3 Month Trial Membership/12 books/ 4series $24.99

Description: 21st century street smart survival skills. Basic 101 Would premarital counseling be helpful to brides and grooms who have married before, are remarrying their ex, or anyone having second thoughts?

History: When Jackie Met The Queen Book: Hello Goodbye Hello By: Craig Brown October 2012 Reader’s Digest

That evening, the Kennedys attend a dinner at Buckingham Palace. It proves a minefield.

The guest list has been the subject of negotiation: Traditionally, divorcees are not invited, so the queen has been reluctant to welcome Jackie’s sister Princess Lee Radziwill, who is on her second marriage, or her husband, Prince Stanislaw Radziwill, who is on his third.

Life!

My father, a pastor, met with a couple who wanted to marry in his church. When he raised the subject of premarital counseling, the two were quick to nix it. “We don’t need counseling,” the bride to be assured him. “We’ve both been married several times before.” Michelle Patterson

America’s Funniest Family Stories

A fourth marriage meant yet another name change for me. I didn’t realize the upheaval it had caused until I asked my father why I hadn’t heard from him in a while. “I forgot your phone number,” he said. “You could’ve looked it up in the phone book.” “I didn’t know what name to look under.” Carol Marsh

9 Ways To Be Married March 2013 More

Serial Marriage Cindy Nye, 51, and Ben Nye, 42 Plano, Texas

The first time Cindy wed; she was 19 and wanted to move out of her parents' house.

A year a half later, she discovered that her husband was unfaithful and left him; after the divorce, she gave birth to a daughter by a boyfriend.

At 22, seeking security, she married a man 15 years her senior and had two more daughters. “As the children got older and my interests broadened, my husband and I grew apart,” she says. They divorced after 16 years.

When she wed again at 45, marrying a man nine years her junior, her goal was a healthy partnership.

Cindy, now an executive assistant at a bank, and Ben, a systems engineer who had never married before, lived together for two years before making it legal. “I've never been happier,” she says of their eight year marriage.

According to the latest available census figures, 12 percent of American adults have married twice, and 3 percent have married three or more times.

Cindy looks back: What she knows now When I married at 19, I was old enough to know what I didn't want but too young to know what I did want.

When I remarried at 22, I was looking for a father figure for my child --- and maybe for me. I married Ben with no ulterior motives, just the desire for happiness.

Regrets? No. When I was young, I thought you married forever. But I grew up, and the first two men I married didn't.

What's different this time? The atmosphere is more relaxed. We enjoy each other's company, and Ben is there for me; he tells me he loves me more often in a day than I heard in a year in my second marriage. We have an equal relationship.

Why marriage for a third time? We wanted to make a public commitment. His family worried about me because I'm older. We wanted to let them know we love each other --- and that I'm here for the long run. Doren Allen

Something To Celebrate September 2003 More

As a salute to More's fifth anniversary, we asked readers to share the events that are making this a special moment in their lives too Janine Latus

Getting married --- again “I got remarried five years ago, and now we’re expecting our second child together, our fourth between us. I think people enter second marriages more cautiously and knowingly, so when things go well, they’re more appreciated.” Francesa Adler-Baeder

Can Love Work The Second Time Around?

If a relationship ends, it’s obvious there were problems, and it’s hard to imagine things going any more smoothly the second time. That seems especially true if the split was awful.

Shouldn’t both people just learn from the experience and move on?

Not necessarily, say experts. Yes, there may have been issues, but a serious time out can make a couple stronger in the long run --- if those issues are addressed and resolved. That said there are certain “rules of the repeat” that can help improve your odds of success in round two. Korin Miller

Relationship Recycling: “If at first you don’t succeed …”

“As someone who is now married to her high school boyfriend and this is our third go around --- I say recycle that flame! You know the flaws, the habits, what gives you butterflies, what the challenges are and what stuff works.” Tracey

“When my 12 year marriage crumbled, I began seeing my high school/college boyfriend. I don’t worry about his background; I know everything I need to know about him. I don’t wonder, what did he mean by that? Because I know him. When you’re with someone you’ve known for years, you’re past all the new relationship nonsense.” Jan

“You can’t go back” “As someone who is always going back to old relationships, I find that I get hurt in the end and left utterly disappointed with the result. And it’s usually because of the same problems or character traits that bothered me before --- no surprise.” Ashley

“Even if the “reasons” for your breakup have passed or changed (your partner was unfaithful, too immature, spent too much time at his job), the fundamental issues that caused the breakup will surface again in one form or another --- they always do. Besides, it just doesn’t feel the same the second time around. Sure, it might be comfortable, but that’s just one step away from boring.” Valerie

After The Breakup Should You Ever Go Back?

In our last “On The Couch” article we addressed the issues around ending a relationship; however, there are times when goodbye isn’t really goodbye and lovers rekindle that old flame.

A truly happy ending is that of the comedian Sinbad. He and his wife were divorced for 10 years. In that time she married another man and eventually got divorced. In 2002, she and Sinbad remarried and have been together ever since.

Sometimes coming back together is healthy and sometimes it’s not.

The purpose of the separation is to provide a cooling off period wherein the partners to examine their feelings about the relationship. Legal separation in a marriage requires that at the end of a specified period the couple must make a decision: to either divorce, continue the separation, or come back together.

With the many couples I have worked with who split and got back together, quite often they never stopped loving one another, even when they tested the waters by dating others.

The time apart gave them the psychological freedom to examine the actions that led to dysfunctions in their relationship. They also had the time to examine their feelings for one another.

Essentially they came back into the relationship as more mature individuals, resulting in a healthier relationship

But this knife cuts both ways. Often, the absence from one another is very scary and uncomfortable and can push people back into the same dysfunctional relationship if there have been no individual and psychological improvements.

This kind of couple may embrace one another because of the absence, and might engage in a honeymoon period upon first reuniting, but they will soon find themselves repeating the same destructive and dysfunctional relationship patterns.

So if you’re thinking of trying to make the second or third or fourth time the charm with your ex, you should consider the following: 1. Make sure you’ve given yourself time to heal

Sometimes couples rush back to one another because of the fear of the unknown. How soon is too soon? Well, if you find yourself within a short period of time falling back into the same dysfunctional behaviors and arguments, it’s too soon!

That is why it is so essential that, during the separation, the individuals take their time --- and maybe even seek therapy --- to thoroughly explore and work through their personal issues, no matter how long it takes.

That way if they decide to come back together, or just to move on to new relationships, they can do so in a healthier matter.

2. Go back for love, not convenience or fear

Too often after breaking up, individuals get frustrated or scared because they’ve seen what’s out there. They begin to think that the grass isn’t greener on the other side, primarily because they haven’t given themselves time to heal and seek proper relationships with others. All of a sudden, the ex, and their former relationship begin to look a lot more attractive.

But these are false feelings and they’ll just fall back into the same dysfunctional relationship.

However, if the healing process during the separation has helped you recognize that there is an endearing love, and you are truly healthy enough to express that to one another, then certainly you will have a better shot of success on the do over.

3. Have the courage to admit that the breakup may have been premature.

I have worked with so many people in therapy who have called off their relationships while emotional over some perceived egregious behavior on the part of the other. Still, there were so many positives in the relationship that easily outweighed the negatives. It wasn’t until they were single they realized they had made a mistake.

Some admitted their mistakes and got back together while others held on to their foolish pride and just carried the loss in their hearts for years.

4. Have the wisdom to realize when your ex was truly your soul mate

Let’s face it: sometimes we just don’t realize what we had or the significance of that partner in our lives until we have lost them.

Some people let a perfectly good relationship go out of boredom. If you realize in the person’s absence that that partner may have been your true soul mate it is definitely worth going back to the relationship and accepting this truth and this gift! It’s likely that this time around will truly have a happy ending.

5. Be strong enough to admit it if the breakup was the best decision you could’ve made.

It could be that no matter how much you love your ex and no matter how miserable you are apart, that you are truly better off not being together.

There are some relationships --- or individuals in them --- that are so damaged that it may not make sense to reconcile unless there are miraculous changes.

These include situations where one or both of the partners are emotionally or physically violent or controlling, have untreated mental health issues, are serial cheaters (especially if they are sleeping with mutual friends or family) or have active alcohol or drug addictions.

Too often after being apart for a period of time and feeling lonely, we begin to develop amnesia and forget how bad it was or the legitimate reasons the relationship came to an end.

An exercise that I give my patients who find themselves in that dilemma is to write a list of the things that were really wrong in the relationship and post it on the inside of their closet door.

Every time they get the notion to go back to the same old, same old, they can open that closet door, look at that list and shock themselves back into reality

In any case, whether you decide to return or move on, the most important advice I can lay on you is to be at peace with your decision and work toward love and happiness in your life and in your relationships. Dr. Jeff Gardere

Passages: Married January 27, 2014 PEOPLE

Baywatch actress Pamela Anderson, 46, has remarried her ex-husband, producer Rick Salomon, 44. The couple were first married in 2007, but requested to have the union annulled two months later.

Marie Osmond Rushes To Altar May 16, 2011 The ENQUIRER

The beloved 51 year old singer was married to Stephen from 1982 to 1985 and has a 28 year old son with him. She had shelved her remarriage plans in February over fears of his wandering eye.

The retired 54 year old businessman was also there for her in 2007 when Marie’s abusive 21 year marriage to second husband Brian Blosil collapsed. Alan Butterfield

Danny & Rhea Divorce Drama November 28, 2016 Globe

The It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia actor, 71, and the former sitcom star, 68, wed in 1982. But in 2012, she gave him the boot.

Sources cited Danny’s “womanizing ways” for the breakup, saying he “regularly ditched date nights with Rhea to party” with younger buddies.

The 4 foot 10 half pint was rumored to have had a girlfriend while doing the stage version of The Sunshine Boys in London that summer.

A source says he also had a “reputation of cheating with extras on the set of his films.”

After years of putting up with DeVito’s wandering eyes, “Rhea finally snapped,” a source says.

She had enough of his bad boy behavior and wanted to end the marriage.”

But Danny begged her for a second chance and they got back together in 2013.

Last year, Rhea realized Danny was set in his ways, sources say.

They’ve quietly separated, but haven’t filed for divorce.

The Second Time’s The Charm: Ron Miller & Pepper Miller February 2012 Reader’s Digest

Ron: Pepper would describe me as a ladies’ man, and I was. Twenty five years ago, I dated a lot of women, and most of the relationships were fairly shallow. But my conversations with you weren’t shallow.

Pepper: I can’t pinpoint when I fell in love with you, but I remember one time you left me a message on the answering machine: “Hi, this is Ron. Just checking on you baby.” I absolutely loved that.

I remember saving that message, and I would play it and play it. But when you first broached the subject of marriage, I was like, “I can’t marry you.”

Ron: But I didn’t quit.

Pepper: No, you didn’t, thank God. We had a big wedding, and it was exciting. Walking down the aisle as Pepper Hunter and coming back down the aisle as Pepper Miller, that was a little startling. But I got into it; I enjoyed being Pepper Miller. We had a good life.

But things changed, and I began to feel like our marriage was all about you, and I wanted it to be about me too. So we got divorced. It was painful. We went to the same church, and you sat on the other side. You dated people, and I dated people.

Ron: I poured myself into my work. But it was hard; I missed you.

Pepper: I missed you too. Remember when you called me and you had the flu? I came and made you soup. After tucking you in, I remember smelling your cologne on me. I missed the smell of your cologne.

It’s those little things that you miss. I would call my girlfriend and say, So and so is a really nice guy, and I have a good time with him, but … And my girlfriend said, “well, the problem with this guy is he’s not Ron, and the problem with the other guy is he’s not Ron.” I didn’t want to believe that. Then my girlfriend said, “don’t hold Ron hostage to the past.”

When she said that, I started crying, and she’s like, “If you don’t care about him, why are you crying?” Those words freed me to look at the possibility of us getting back together.

I called you, and we started dating, and it was good. Then I took my dad on a cruise. We were unpacking on the ship, and in my suitcase there was this long letter from you, asking me to marry you. It was just a pouring out of your heart. That was in August. In December, we were married.

Ron: We were married eight years the first time, we were divorced five years, and this December it will be ten years we’ve been married again.

Pepper: We still have our bumps, huh?

Ron: Yeah. I guess we’ve learned that we’re always going to have our bumps, but there’s nobody that we’d rather be with. The lesson is to hang tough and make it work.

Pepper: And be grateful. We have been through a lot together, but I’m still excited to be with you.

Recorded in Chicago, Illinois, on February 24th, 2011 The Millers recently celebrated the tenth anniversary of their second marriage by visiting Rome and Florence.

Romantic Fiction: The Blind Date October 2011 Woman’s World

Abbie was on the lookout for a man with a red carnation in his lapel. When she spotted him, she realized he was no stranger.

Abbie Lambard checked her makeup in her car’s rearview mirror one last time, worried she’d used too much blush. Or was it too little? She’d been on only three dates in the year since her divorce and was feeling insecure.

She could almost hear Faye’s scolding voice. Faye was new to Abbie’s office, and she and Abbie had hit it off instantly. Faye was happily married, so she’d made it her mission to see Abbie happily married too. This date and the others had been blind ones --- all arranged by Faye.

The cocktail party where Abbie would meet the man Faye had described as “Mr. Right” was in a contemporary style house on the beach. It was a beautiful but cold looking house, Abbie thought. Nothing like the Victorian home she and her ex- husband, Grant, had dreamed of owning.

Abbie hesitated at the door. Did she want to do this? She touched the charm bracelet on her wrist. Faye had worn it when she met her husband and thought the charms’ magic would work for Abbie, too.

Humoring her, Abbie promised to wear it.

Abbie rang the doorbell and was soon ushered into the living room, where, through floor to ceiling windows with views of the beach, she saw the rosy sun setting. She picked up a glass of red wine and sipped it as she looked around the room.

Faye had given Abbie a description of her blind date, a man who worked with Faye’s husband, and said he’d be wearing a red carnation. There were several men who appeared to be without dates, and a few matched some of the details Faye had given.

But no red carnation.

There were a few other men, though. A man with blond hair and a moustache smiled at her, and she smiled back. He was a little short, not like Grant’s six feet four. Abbie was a foot shorter than Grant, and he’d called her his “petite princess.”

She noticed a handsome, well dressed man with a perfect haircut. Grant’s hair, she remembered, had a cowlick that never behaved. She’d loved that cowlick. Suddenly, Abbie’s eyes filled with tears.

She wasn’t ready for this --- Faye or no Faye --- and hurried for the door, forgetting about the glass in her hand. When a man bumped into her, the wine spilled down her dress.

Then she noticed the red carnation on the man’s lapel and glanced up. “Grant!” she exclaimed.

Shocked, she let her ex-husband guide her onto a deck overlooking the ocean, and standing beside him she felt herself grow calmer.

Grant turned his gaze toward the deepening sunset. “Beautiful view, don’t you think? The house, though, feels kind of cold and impersonal.” He smiled at her. “Not like the cozy house we wanted, is it?”

Abby smiled. “The one with the gingerbread trim.”

“And the wrap around veranda.” Grant gave her an appraising look. “Pretty dress, Abbie. The blue sets off your eyes.” “I like your carnation,” she managed, trying to keep it light.”

“It was Faye’s husband’s idea.” Grant shrugged. “I guess you figured out we’re co-workers.” He paused. “Tell me again why we got divorced, Abbie? I’ve been having a hard time remembering lately.”

“We got married too young. Didn’t know who we were, right?” “And do you know who you are now?” He asked.

Abbie nodded. “But I’ll always be a work in progress.” Grant nodded his understanding. “Why don’t I get us a couple glasses of wine?” “I’m already wearing mine.”

Grant’s face broke into a smile. “You’ve always looked good in red, too.” He reached for her hand.

Abbie sighed. His hand felt so warm, so strong, and so right. With her other hand, she touched the charm bracelet on her wrist. Thank You, Faye, she thought, smiling and holding Grant’s hand just a little tighter.

9 Ways To Be Married March 2013 More

Ricochet Marriage Cozy Meyer, 49, and Joe Newman, 48 Las Vegas, Nevada

Cozy and Joe met at their California junior high; then her family moved to another district. When she was 17 and he was 19, a friend fixed them up, and they married a few months later, in 1983.

Joe was in the Navy and often away. When he was assigned to another base, Cozy decided not to move with him, but the divorce was amicable. She later remarried and had two sons now grown.

For nearly a decade, the former couple had no contact until Joe, who hadn’t remarried but did have two sons, phoned Cozy to talk over what had gone wrong between them; he wanted closure, and he wanted to learn about himself.

Cozy, separated from her second husband at the time, realized she still had feelings for Joe. “But I’d made a commitment to try to reconcile with my sons’ father,” she says.

She and Joe lost touch for another decade until Cozy, by then divorced and living in Las Vegas, trained to be a massage therapist and was required to provide contact information for her first husband as part of a background check during the licensing process.

“I had to find him,” she says. “When I did, I went to Los Angeles in 2003 and we had lunch, which turned into dinner and then breakfast --- and the rest is history.” Joe, a tech support agent for the video game company Play Station, moved to Las Vegas. They remarried two years ago.

Nancy Kalish, PhD, a Professor Emeritus of Psychology at California State University at Sacramento, has surveyed more than 4, 000 rekindled relationships since 1994; 3 percent of these participants had been married to and divorced their lost loves.

The reunions she followed displayed a high success rate: Nearly 75 percent were still together after 10 years. (One group that fared less well: those whose reunions were extramarital affairs). Kalish thinks the durability of early love in the successful couples is often due to growing up together, sharing friends, culture and values.

Cozy has her own insights: Why the reunion worked: When we got together for that lunch, we were both at a point in our lives where we were hitting the reset button.

Doubts about reconnecting? I was scared shitless. But the choice was either take a leap of faith and try it or regret it the rest of my life.

What’s different? In our time apart, we’d grown up. Everything we needed to work out, we worked out with others. We played the sad country music song backward.

Why remarry? Marriage is a commitment. I know some people say it’s just a piece of paper, but it makes us feel secure. Now I have my mate; now we can move forward together. We’re like big teenagers. We have responsibilities, but we have a good time. The sexual spark is there, but it’s more than just a sex drive. We call it divine drive. Doren Allen

Kourtney Kardashian & Scott Disick Are Back Together a year and a half after they split

Score one for Kourtney Kardashian in the predictions department. Two months after she declared her sister Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick would eventually rekindle their romance, E! News reports the parents of three have done just that.

“They are back together and giving their relationship a try again,” says a source, crediting Scott's newly minted clean living track record as the main reason for the new development.

Over the past year, Scott Disick's worked hard to shed his party-boy image, taking fewer nightclub gigs and backing off of drugs and alcohol.

“Scott's mellowed out a lot and hasn't been partying,” says the insider. Another source says the two, “both want to work it out for their kids,” Mason, Penelope and Reign.

The news comes on the heels of the on-off couple's kid-free vacation in Mexico together, which sparked rumors they'd reconciled, and a report claiming Scott was “on a mission” to win back the mother of his children.

After a number of brief splits over the course of nine years, Kourtney finally left Scott a year and a half ago, after he was photographed getting cozy with an ex while Kourtney was at home taking care of their kids.

Scott went to rehab after that for the second time in a year and eventually began cleaning up his image. It wasn't long before Kourtney allowed him back into her life and the lives of their children and her family.

“I feel like every day is different, but we're totally getting along. Like, we have three beautiful kids together … But, you know, he's family. He'll always be,” she said on ‘Ellen’ in January.

Three months later on ‘Today,’ she assured the show hosts romance was not on the table for her and Scott --- although she didn't say it would never happen.

“We're not getting back together right now,” Kourtney said, but I don't know what the future holds in life, in God's plan. But we're just doing our best to be the best parents. Like, he came with us to Vail and it was great. But, like, we're friends at this point.”

During their split, Kourtney was rumored to have been involved briefly with Justin Bieber, while Scott was spotted with various women, many of them younger, on his arm. None of those situations seemed to stick.

Speaking to Us Weekly in March, Scott admitted that breakup or not, Kourtney was still his No. 1 in many ways.

“I mean, she'll always be family to me and probably the person I love the most in the world,” he said. “So even though we're not together, we're still close and it's still nice to be around each other.”

Kourtney Kardashian & Scott Disick's Highs And Lows It hasn't always been easy for Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick.

During their nine-year relationship, the couple has experienced some tremendous thrills, having welcomed three children --- Mason, Penelope and Reign.

But they've also endured countless breakups and makeups, the latest reportedly coming in December 2016.

One thing that's remained a point of contention? Scott's penchant for partying.

He checked into a Costa Rican rehab facility in mid-March 2015, explaining that, “I realize my issues are bigger than me and I'm ready to truly remedy this struggle I continue to battle”--- but checked out barely a week later.

After hoping that he'd joined his wife and children back in Los Angeles, Lord Disick turned up in a Las Vegas nightclub, making a wild appearance at club 1Oak.

Finally, though, Scott's love of the party just became too much for Kourtney and she dumped her longtime beau.

Couples Therapy

After years of struggling and personal drama --- all caught on camera --- Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian started couples therapy and things really started to improve.

“We go to therapy, which helps us a lot. I think we're always working to better ourselves, which I think a lot of people can do,” Kourtney said about their decision to seek help in their relationship. “I could go (into the therapy session) despising him, but by the time I leave --- even if he's not in there --- I feel like I understand him so much more.”

Book: Legal Q & A By: Reader’s Digest

Question: Do my wife and I have to go through marriage counseling before we can get a divorce?

Answer: Some states --- such as Nebraska and New Hampshire --- require a couple to make all reasonable efforts at reconciliation, including counseling, before a divorce can be granted. In other states the court may order counseling before granting a divorce if one spouse requests it.

Leave The Woman And Get Counseling

Dear Deanna! After being married for 10 years, I love my wife but I think I’m in love with someone else. I’m ready to file for divorce because I want to be with the other woman.

My wife and I don’t have any children and I would be willing to split our assets in order to be happy. How do I make sure the love is gone with my wife? David

Dear David: Check on your love through prayer to seek forgiveness for your adultery and violation of wedding vows. You’re confused and sound selfish because things may not be going your way in the marriage.

The other woman has no place in this decision and you need to make her disappear. Seek professional marriage counseling so your wife’s story can be heard and a decision made together about your future. [email protected]

Book: Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man By: Steve Harvey Question: Will men go to counseling?

Mr. Harvey: We’re only interested in it if it’s going to save our ass. If we think we’re going to lose you and counseling will keep us together, then we’ll go.

But if it won’t save our ass, we can’t see any good reason why we should sit on a couch and talk to a person with a tablet, getting judged for every move we’ve ever made.

The Long Struggle And Neurotic Triumph Of Howard Stern March 31, 2011 Rolling Stone

Question: What made you start going to therapy in the first place?

Mr. Stern: Well, my first marriage was ending, and I was very confused by that. I knew there was a lot missing from my life: I was totally neurotic and sort of consumed with work. I took work as the most important thing and the only thing.

I knew things weren’t right, and I said, “Gee, where am I going to get some answers?” I had never been a guy to turn to religion, but then as my marriage was coming to an end, I needed help to explain it to my children and make sense of it all and communicate with them. Because once you are a divorced guy, being a father is a whole different bag.

Question: What was the first session like for you?

Mr. Stern: It was really a very scary thing to me. I had never really opened up to someone. I never had conversations like that with another human being, let alone a man. And I never in a serious way thought about how I felt about anything. I was completely closed off from my feelings ... I remember I started telling him stories like I was on the radio, and I’m laughing, and he goes, “Why are you laughing? It sounds very important to me. It’s very sad, some of these things you’re saying.” Neil Strauss

Book: Legal Q & A By: Reader’s Digest (Grounds For Annulment) An annulment is a judgment by the court that a marriage was not legal to begin with.

Grounds for annulment vary from state to state; the most common grounds are: Duress --- A threat of serious consequences, such as revealing a drug addiction, unless the couple marries.

Fraud --- An intentional deception affecting the foundation of the marriage in order to lure a person into marrying. Some examples: Concealing homosexuality

Concealing impotence, venereal disease, serious health problems

Concealing a previous marriage, divorce, or children

False claims of pregnancy

Hiding or lying about a pregnancy by another man

False claims of wanting to have children

Mental incapacity --- Inability to understand the marriage contract at the time of the wedding ceremony.

Underage --- Failure of either spouse to have reached the age of consent required by the state, usually from 15 to 21 years of age.

Divorce Finalized June 6, 2013 The Blade

A Los Angeles judge has finalized Kim Kardashian's divorce from NBA player Kris Humpries. Court records show the couple's divorce judgment was formally entered on Monday.

The filing does not reveal any new details about the couple's split. They reached a settlement in their long running divorce case in April and signed the judgment in late May.

Kardashian, a reality show star, filed for divorce in 2011 after the couple had been married 72 days.

That Was Fast! December 2013 Us Magazine

One week after Francesca Eastwood, 20, married Jonah Hill’s older brother, music manager Jordan Feldstein, 35, in Las Vegas on November 17th, the former E! Reality star is planning to file for an annulment, family insiders tell Us.

Family Guy: Mario Lopez Book: Just Between Us By: Mario Lopez October 13, 2014 PEOPLE

After the show ended, he dated Jaime Pressly, then actress Ali Landry, whom he asked to marry him in 2003.

Suffice it to say that (at my bachelor party) I got inebriated and a little too friendly with a young lady. When it was time to return home, lightning hit me with the truth: I wasn’t in love. But I walked down the aisle and said, “I do.” In my heart, I was screaming, “I do not! What am I doing?”

Ali found out about the bachelor party and asked him to leave.

I finally got the courage to say, “I’m sorry. I can’t be in this marriage. It’s not right for either of us. “She was hurt and angry, rightfully so.

They filed for an annulment in 2004 after two weeks of marriage.

Book: Miss Manners On Painfully Proper Weddings By: Judith Martin

Dear Miss Manners: My daughter was married on a Saturday to a young man she’d known for many years and lived with for over a year.

The marriage abruptly ended the following day.

What do we do with the shower and wedding presents? Some presents have been opened and the boxes thrown away and possibly even used already. How do we write Thank You cards?

It is a very awkward situation and I am unclear as to how it is to be handled. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank You

Gentle Reader: The most important advice is never again to mention that part about the marriage ending the day after the wedding.

Naturally, Miss Manners is burning to know what happened, as would anyone else who heard this.

It is not, however, in your daughter’s interest to have everyone she knows affix this unfortunately dramatic scene (imagined, or worse, real if she should be tempted to explain) to her reputation forever.

Technically, wedding presents need to be returned only if the wedding does not take place, and this one did.

However, it would be gracious of your daughter to return unused presents anyway, if only to head off unpleasant comments about her motivations should she marry again.

The accompanying letters, which actually should go out to all the wedding guests, should thank them for their good wishes (and for their specific presents), noting only that the couple “soon came to the sad conclusion that the marriage had been a mistake.” www.missmanners.com

Dear Miss Manners: My wedding invitations were mailed on Saturday morning and on Saturday night I broke my engagement. It was to have been a large, formal wedding, so there will be lots of people receiving engraved invitations which must now be recalled. How shall I do this? May I use the envelopes from the announcements?

Gentle Reader: Miss Manners wishes to congratulate you on your good fortune. This is not a reference to the departure of the bridegroom, with whom Miss Manners is unacquainted, but to the fact that you have the engraved announcements at your disposal.

You can alter them with a pen to achieve the correct formal wording you would otherwise have had to engrave or hand write. www.missmanners.com

Dear Miss Manners: I asked a young woman I worked with how she and her husband were. She married about a year ago, and I know the man, as well.

She informed me she was getting divorced. Her reply was clearly bitter and angry. I fell silent after that and went back to work. Silence seemed wrong, but I couldn’t think what would be right to say considering how upset she was.

Gentle Reader: The lady is not excused, on the grounds of personal pain, for the rudeness of treating a conventional politeness as an affront.

Miss Manners would have murmured quietly, “I hope you’ll each be very happy” and returned as you did, to work. www.missmanners.com

Walter Scott: Personality Parade Brad Pitt will now take your questions

Question: In your younger days, you were not known for charitable work, or, frankly, seen as much of a family man. Was there an event that changed how you saw yourself in the world?

Mr. Pitt: I spent the 90’s trying to hide out, trying to duck the full celebrity cacophony. It wigged me out a bit. I started to get sick of myself sitting on a couch, holding a joint, hiding out. It started feeling pathetic. It became very clear to me that I was so intent on trying to find a movie about an interesting life, but I wasn’t living an interesting life myself.

I think my marriage (to actress Jennifer Aniston) had something to do with it. Trying to pretend the marriage was something that it wasn’t.

Burt Reynolds May 2016 Men’s Health

Question: In hindsight, were there warning signs you missed? Anything that made it obvious that you were making a big mistake with Loni?

Mr. Reynolds: I remember when we got married; it was in a chapel I’d built specifically for our wedding. I was walking down the aisle, and Perry Como was walking with me.

Question: Perry Como? The singer?

Mr. Reynolds: Yeah. I looked at my mom, and she was shaking her head “no.” I didn’t pay attention, but my mom was always right. Eric Spitznagel

Inside His Messy Split Amid ugly allegations of infidelity and abuse, the cooking star and his fiancée call it quits just before their wedding

When Todd English stepped out on his wedding day, he certainly looked like he was all set for the event. He had arrived at Miami’s hit Wall nightclub, surrounded by his closest friends, with a magnum of Veuve Clicquot at the ready.

Trouble was, English’s wedding was supposed to be taking place some 1, 200 miles away at the St. Regis Hotel in New York City --- where his fiancée, English’s former personal assistant Erica Wang, was waiting, along with some 150 guests. “I still love her,” English tells PEOPLE. “But I couldn’t go through with it.”

The reasons behind English’s decision not to show up for his Oct 3rd trip down the aisle are as intriguing as the flavors in one of his signature Italian dishes.

Breaking down in tears, English --- a Top Chef guest judge whose 16 restaurant food empire includes L.A.’s Beso, which he owns with Eva Longoria --- points to a “really bad falling out” about 10 days before the wedding, during which, he claims, Wang physically assaulted him.

“I was blown away by it,” says English, who is mulling whether to file a police report. “My family, close buddies --- they pulled me aside and said, ‘What are you doing? You have to stop trying to make this work.” But other friends of the couple say it was English’s infidelity that was the real problem. “He had other girlfriends,” says a pal. (When asked, English, 49, said he could not comment on such claims).

And although Wang, 33, was unavailable for this story, in an interview with The New York Post has denied hitting English, and said she learned he wasn’t coming to their wedding in an “icy” phone call that ended when he hung up on her.

(English claims he broke things off a week earlier”). He has caused me, my friends and family so much pain,” she said.

With accusations flying, Wang has moved out of the couple’s downtown Manhattan apartment, while English has retreated to Boston, where he is receiving support from his ex-wife and three children. Moving past the breakup is the one thing the couple can agree on. “This was,” says English, “the best thing for the both of us.”

Title: Fight Or Flight? Securing Your Sanctuary Series: 2

Language: English

Non-Fiction Categories: How To * Self Help * True Crime * Entertainment * Pop Culture * Dating/Relationships * Current Affairs * Pets * Women’s Issues * Health * Social Issues *

Release Date: March 2017 Series: $12.49 /3 books no substitutions please Pages/Word Count: Available at a later date

3 Month Trial Membership/12 books/ 4series $24.99

Description: 21st century survival/life skills. Securing your home and protecting your loved ones from outside elements. Home invasion, window/door safety, and numerous other safety precautions that will bring you peace of mind.

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Police Blotter: Sandusky Police Taryll Tye 38, 1900 block Buchanan Street disorderly conduct intoxicated 11: 13 p.m. 1400 block Hayes Avenue Wednesday June 4

Tye squeezed girlfriend's face, entered apartment when she told him to leave.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 10: 25 a.m. 500 block North Depot Street Sunday July 13

Man yelled at woman, used profanities. Woman wanted him out of house.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 11: 49 p.m. 600 block West Jefferson Street Sunday March 22

Woman wanted man out of house; officer warned him not to return.

Police Blotter: Ottawa County Sheriff 1: 55 p.m. 200 block S. Meachem Road, Port Clinton Sunday July 21

Man and woman argued after she packed his belongings and told him to leave.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 8: 40 p.m. 400 block West Jefferson Street Wednesday June 4

Woman wanted man to leave after argument and gave him clothes; officer told him not to return.

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Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 1: 05 p.m. 400 block East Adams Street Friday January 23

Woman having trouble with man, he was gone when officers arrived.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 2: 15 p.m. 500 block Tiffin Avenue Sunday July 13

Man refused to leave house.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 3: 34 a.m. 900 block Hancock Street Friday February 13

Man drove to ex's home, argued with her and refused to leave.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police Daniel Filmore, 18, domestic violence, assault charges pending 8: 58 p.m. 400 block West Osborne Street Tuesday June 3

Filmore refused to leave house, slapped cigarette out of woman's hand, then struck her face.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 10: 45 a.m. 600 block Perry Street Wednesday June 4

Man refused to leave, left after woman called police.

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Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 7: 25 p.m. 2500 block Venice Avenue Saturday April 13

Man made threats and tried to get inside house.

Juicy Peak Inside Johnny Carson's Life Book: Johnny Carson By: Henry Bushkin October 27, 2013 Naples Daily News

Bushkin began handling Carson's affairs in 1970 when Carson needed additional legal advice on how to execute a per-emptive strike on his second wife (there would be 2 more).

Bushkin writes that he proved himself by joining Carson, who was armed with a 38 caliber handgun and a few others in a raid on the love nest shared by Mrs. Carson and athlete turned sportscaster Frank Gifford.

Packing heat didn't protect Carson's emotions: He wept when he realized he was indeed losing another wife. Douglass K. Daniel

Toledoan Charged With Assault In Shooting August 10, 2013 The Blade

A Toledo man accused of shooting his ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend remained in the Lucas County jail Friday evening in lieu of bond following his arrest Thursday.

Rashad Gaines, 21, is charged with two counts of felonious assault. Bond was set at $200, 000 during arraignment Friday in Toledo Municipal Court.

Steven Parks was shot in the back while in bed at his girlfriend’s house last Saturday. After shooting Mr. Parks, the gunman paced back and forth saying he should have shot the woman, the victim told police.

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Autopsy Reveals Victim Was Shot While Sleeping July 16, 2013 The Blade

Shot six times, stabbed twice. His face and head beaten, probably with the same gun used to shoot him dead. Michael Jackson was sleeping when he was attacked. No chance to put up a fight.

The gunshot wounds in his chest and arms are what killed the 20 year old Toledo man. Officials alleged that the suspect went to the home of his estranged wife, Amber Hayes, 27, early Sunday morning and attacked Mr. Jackson.

Ms. Hayes and Mr. Jackson were dating, police said. Taylor Dungjen

Buckeyes Behind Bars: Man Shoots Pantless Cop He Found With His Wife August 22, 2012 Vol. 2 No. 46

An off duty married Brooklyn cop --- his pants and belt on the floor --- was shot twice in the same shoulder with his own service revolver by a New Jersey man who had just caught him with his estranged wife in the family’s kitchen, sources said yesterday.

Detective Louis Pepe, a 16 year NYPD veteran assigned to the 63rd Precinct in Flatlands, was “grazed” by the bullets Friday night inside the house on a tree lined street in Manalapan, a source said.

Robert Dunbar, 35, who happened to be staying on Staten Island while separated from Deborah Dunbar and their kids, allegedly barged through the back door and ran into his wife. He turned violent after spotting Pepe in his compromising position, a law enforcement source said.

“Robert lunged after him, trying to fight him --- and a three way struggle ensued,” the source explained. “They all fell to the ground. That’s when he reached for the officer’s .38 caliber and pumped a few rounds after him. After he fired the shots, he fled.”

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Buckeyes In Court September 26, 2012 Buckeyes Behind Bars

According to public records, the defendant did punch the victim several times in the eye causing injury that required surgery to repair. Jones was identified by his ex-girlfriend and the victim.

2 Arrested After Domestic Violence, Shooting Incident December 3, 2016 The Blade

Monroe --- Two men have been arrested in related incidents in Monroe Township --- one on an attempted homicide charge, and the other on a domestic violence charge.

The pair were booked into the Monroe County jail pending arraignment in First District Court. One is accused of trying to kill the other Friday, after a domestic violence incident in which the latter was charged, according to the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office, which did not release their names.

About 3 a.m., a 40 year old Monroe man was leaving a residence after a domestic violence incident in Meadowbrook manufactured home community and got into his girlfriend’s van when he was confronted by his girlfriend’s husband, deputies said.

The husband pointed a handgun at him and ordered him to stop. Instead, the boyfriend started a car and drove down the driveway. The husband then fired seven shots at him, striking the vehicle. The boyfriend fled and was later apprehended by deputies.

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Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 2: 51 p.m. 500 block Pearl Street Monday June 10

Man punched girlfriend's cousin in face three times, kicked door on his way out.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 1: 14 p.m. 2200 block Cleveland Road Monday March 2

Ex-boyfriend used card to enter woman's hotel room without permission.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police Sheacole Prophet, 27, aggravated menacing, burglary, threat of domestic violence 3: 06 a.m. 1200 block Buchanan Street Sunday March 15

Prophet entered home without permission, used knife to threaten father of her children and a woman.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police Tywuan Davis, 29, protection order violation 5: 42 a.m. 1600 block North Larchmond Drive Tuesday July 23

Davis entered woman's house; she waited until he slept then called police. He said she invited him over.

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Police Blotter: Sandusky Police Dustin Neeley, 30, burglary, violating protection order 10: 19 p.m. 700 block Garfield Avenue Saturday March 21

Neeley allegedly entered ex-girlfriend’s apartment through basement window.

Police Blotter: Fremont Police 2: 32 p.m. 1400 block Hickory Street Sunday July 7

Man and woman arguing. He tried to retrieve belongings; she was upset because he pushed air conditioner through window to get into house.

Man Allegedly Enters House Carrying Knife September 29, 2014 The Register

Sandusky --- Sandusky police arrested a 29 year old Sandusky man after he allegedly arrived at a home on Camp Street with a butcher knife and kicked in a window air conditioner to get inside.

Officers stopped Amos Richardson as he was walking on Monroe Street, but he was not carrying any weapon, a police report said.

Cheri Keyes, who lives at the Camp Street home, was not there at the time of the burglary, but her 12 year old daughter was.

The girl cut her foot as she ran from the home. A witness told police she saw the incident and said Richardson was holding a knife when he walked toward the house. Keyes told police there had been an incident at her home the night before, and Richardson could still be upset. Richardson was charged with burglary and disorderly conduct.

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Detective Cases (Magazine)

Walking through the woods, the detectives saw the apartment house emerge in their line of vision. They came to a jerrybuilt ladder made of two by fours where someone had leaned it against a tree.

He realized that someone standing on this perch could look down into the windows of the apartment house below. He felt a chill and wondered if someone had watched Sharon Mason's windows and seen her as she moved around her apartment.

Promotion: Budget Design Guide New window coverings with child safe, energy efficient and eco friendly features 1-866-604-4696 www.budgetdesignguide.com

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Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 12: 17 a.m. 400 block East Washington Street Sunday July 28

Woman heard someone knocking on her windows.

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Men’s Health Your Attorney On Call: Dan Abrams

Question: A beautiful woman often walks around nude in the apartment across the street. Am I breaking a law by enjoying the view?

Mr. Abrams: And if I say you are is that really going to change anything? The question isn’t how beautiful she is, it’s how close you are to her apartment.

If you have to pull out high powered binoculars to check her out, then you could probably be prosecuted for voyeurism or under certain Peeping Tom laws. And don’t take videos or photographs of her --- that’s going to lead to trouble.

But if she’s close enough to know you can see her just by looking out your window, then you can probably just enjoy the view. www.menshealth.com/experts

Crime Times 911: Voyeurism December 17, 2012 Buckeyes Behind Bars

Donald Costell

Please Note: All individuals in this publication are considered innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. All content is considered public in nature.

Police Blotter: Perkins Police 2: 57 a.m. 4900 block Lisbon Circle Saturday September 27

Woman reported man looking into the windows of her home.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 4: 23 p.m. 1400 block Campbell Street Sunday June 7

Man believed someone tried to enter home after finding screen pushed up, fingerprints on window ledge.

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Shield Your Windows October 2010 Good Housekeeping

Consider having safety film installed (about $15 per square foot) on ground floor or basement windows and on any others that, if broken, would put a door’s lock within arm’s reach.

Close the drapes before you leave the house to keep trespassers from spotting expensive furnishings from the outside.

Keep a first floor light on a timer so it appears you’re home even if you’re not; plus, well lit rooms are far less enticing to break into.

Book: Legal Q & A By: Reader’s Digest

Question: Nora, a neighbor of ours, sometimes wanders outside our house at night, climbing through the shrubbery and peering in through our windows.

Although we really have nothing to hide, we feel uneasy about being watched. Isn’t this an invasion of our privacy? How should we handle this matter?

Answer: You might try talking with Nora and telling her that you will call the police the next time you see her looking into your windows.

If this doesn’t work, notify the police. State and local laws in most places make it a misdemeanor to look through people’s windows in order to pry into their private lives.

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Police Blotter: Perkins Police 5: 42 p.m. 1000 block East Bogart Road Wednesday June 3

Woman said she was trying to get her things from ex's home when they began arguing and he threw rocks at her. Man said he came home, found her inside, and saw two screens had been slashed.

Book: Legal Q & A By: Reader’s Digest

Question: A burglar entered our house through a window I left open. Will I be able to collect insurance even though the company claims I was negligent?

Answer: It depends on the terms of your homeowner’s policy. Some policies specify that there must be visible evidence that a burglar had to use force in order to enter your home. If your policy contains such a provision, you may not be able to collect.

The World’s Funniest Jokes: Hungary

Doctor: Have you taken my advice and slept with the window open?

Patient: Yes

Doctor: So has your asthma disappeared completely?

Patient: No, but my watch, TV, iPod, and laptop have.

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Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 4: 23 p.m. 1400 block Campbell Street Sunday June 7

Man believed someone tried to enter home after finding screen pushed up, fingerprints on window ledge.

Man Takes Son, Flees Into Woods May 15, 2014 The Register

A Groton Township man allegedly threatened the mother of his 1 year old son at knife point Wednesday morning before grabbing the boy and running off with him into the woods.

The child was returned unharmed a short while later, and his father is now behind bars.

Chance Shelton, 19, was charged with aggravated burglary, felony domestic violence and child endangering.

When Shelton was dropped off at the woman's home Wednesday at about 11 a.m. he began pounding on her door, Erie County Deputy Paul DeFazio said.

When the woman didn't answer, Shelton allegedly slipped in through a basement bedroom window, walked past a man asleep in her bed and marched upstairs.

There he found the woman holding their son. Shelton allegedly punched her head multiple times then walked to the kitchen, where he grabbed two serrated knives and one butter knife from the drawer, DeFazio said.

The woman ran downstairs with the child, where she and her guest tried to lock the bedroom door. But Shelton was too quick --- they held him at bay behind the partially closed door and began negotiating with him, according to a deputy's report.

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Quote: “It's easier to keep somebody out, then to get them out.” Aunt Clara

Dear Deanna! I’m in a five-year relationship with a man who’s not my cup of tea.

I discovered he has some bad habits.

He kept these things hidden to impress me but I asked him to leave when I saw the real man.

The police say as long as he pays bills and isn’t physically abusive, they can’t make him leave my home.

He’s come a long way but I don’t love him and honestly I never did. I’ve been up front and very honest with him. What can I do? Desperate

Dear Desperate: You can pack your bags and leave or pack his and put him out. If it’s your house with your name on it, then you can do as you please.

However, your man may react and get violent. If that’s the case, sell your house, move and start a new life. If he can’t accept your honesty, lack of love and wishes, then you’re entitled to handle your business. [email protected]

Police Blotter: Castalia Police 1: 10 a.m. 700 block Water Street Monday February 2

Woman had trouble getting man to leave. He wanted to get belongings because he used to live there. Officers took him home.

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Book: Legal Q & A By: Reader’s Digest Question: Approximately how long does it take to evict someone?

Answer: As little as a week or as long as several months. It depends upon the law in a particular state, the circumstances of the individual case, and the tenant's willingness to contest the eviction.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 2: 55 p.m. 500 block East Monroe Street Sunday March 1

Officer stood by as woman retrieved property. Man was upset she didn't return house key.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 6: 09 p.m. 900 block Hancock Street Sunday June 22

Woman wanted man to leave house and return key. He agreed, was told not to return.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 4: 52 p.m. 500 block Tiffin Avenue Thursday April 23

Man entered woman's home, asked for money she owed him. Woman didn't want him back at her apartment, had officer tell him to return his key.

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Police Blotter: Perkins Police 5: 02 p.m. 2600 block Pioneer Trail Tuesday March 24

Woman wanted boyfriend out of home, was scared he'd harm her if he returned. Officer said he'd need to be evicted, but gave her information about acquiring protection order.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 3: 37 p.m. 1800 block Buchanan Street Wednesday June 4

Man wanted woman out of house, served her with eviction notice in front of officer. Woman said order wasn't valid.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 3: 35 p.m. 100 block Palmer Drive Monday January 12

Woman wanted other woman out of house after she removed photos from frames, scattered pop can tabs throughout the residence and broke through window to enter home. Officer said she'd need to evict other woman.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 3: 39 p.m. 2200 block Forest Drive Monday March 23

Officer stood by as landlord entered home after tenant was notified of eviction.

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Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 9: 52 p.m. 1400 block Camp Street Sunday March 29

Estranged husband wanted woman out of house; officer told him she'd need to be evicted.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 9: 34 a.m. 2200 block Camp Street Tuesday June 9

Officer stood by as man was evicted.

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Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 2: 50 p.m. 100 block Neil Street Monday February 1

Woman upset because man put her belongings outside.

Book: 100 Questions About Love & Relationships By: Dr. Barbara DeAngelis The Case Against Living Together

You can destroy the relationship by expecting too much from it when it’s still developing. Although I personally feel living together with a mate can be a valuable experience at a certain stage of the relationship.

I also feel that living together prematurely is a big mistake.

I’ve counseled too many couples who moved in together for the wrong reasons: To save money

Because one had a nicer place

So they could spend more time together

Because one partner was afraid of losing the other

Living together before your relationship has reached a significant level of commitment, maturity, and emotional stability can actually speed up the disintegration of the relationship.

If your relationship isn’t ready to handle the pressures of living together, it might fall apart under the strain that living together prematurely brings.

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You can become emotionally lazy

If moving in with someone feels like a goal to you, and you live together before you’re ready, you risk becoming emotionally lazy in the relationship.

You may avoid conflict in order to keep the peace, especially if you haven’t learned to work through conflict together.

You may give your partner less attention and appreciation since he or she is there all the time, or neglect the relationship in other ways.

You can avoid furthering your commitment to one another

You may have heard the saying “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”

I think it was used by many of our mothers in their attempt to convince us that boys wouldn’t marry us if we had sex with them, since they are already getting what they wanted.

I’ve heard this same argument about living together, that if a man is living with you and enjoying the benefits of domestic life, he has no reason to ask you to marry him.

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Book: Legal Q & A By: Reader’s Digest

Question: My girlfriend and I are planning to move in together next month. Some friends of ours have a “living together agreement.” Should we also have one?

Answer: It would be wise for the two of you to sit down and discuss how property should be divided if one of you moves out.

Topics to discuss include property owned before moving in, property acquired while living together, real estate or leases, pets, income, and joint bank accounts.

Once you have come to an agreement, you should put it in writing and have it signed just as you would any other contract.

Although such a contract is not mandatory, it would make it easier to prove that an agreement was reached and to have its terms enforced by a court if the time ever came when you had a serious property dispute.

Question: Jim and Bonnie have lived together for several years. During this time they have bought a house, furniture, and appliances. What rights does each one have if they split up and cannot agree on how to divide the property?

Answer: If Jim and Bonnie made no agreement before they began living together, it will be more difficult for a court to divide the property.

Generally, each of them is entitled to keep any property he or she owned before they began their joint living arrangement.

The biggest problem lies in distributing property that they acquired while living together.

If Jim and Bonnie live in one of the eight states that have community property laws for married couples (Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, and Washington), there is a good chance a court would divide the property between them, 50-50.

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In other states a court would divide the property as fairly as possible.

If Jim’s name is on the title to the house but Bonnie helped purchase it, the court may give each a one half interest in the property --- except in Mississippi, South Carolina, and West Virginia, where the property may go to the person whose name is on the title.

Appliances and furniture may also be divided equally unless one person contributed more than the other.

The court may then divide this property in proportion to what each contributed.

Question: Beatrice and Andrew had lived together for 14 years when Andrew died. Does Beatrice have any claim on Andrew’s estate?

Answer: If Andrew did not include Beatrice in his will, she may not be able to claim a penny of his estate. Although the laws of each state automatically give the surviving spouse of a marriage a part of the estate when there is no will, they do not protect unmarried couples.

Nevertheless, Beatrice may be able to claim a share of the estate on principles of fairness, or equity. As society becomes more willing to accept living together arrangements, the courts have become more willing to divide property on an equitable basis.

If Andrew and Beatrice were equally responsible for entering and sustaining their relationship, the court might consider it unfair for her contribution to the relationship to go to someone else. A judge might well rule that if Beatrice is denied a share of Andrew’s property, his heirs would unjustly benefit.

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Journal Briefs: Months after death, “The Jefferson’s” star Hemsley still unburied November 13, 2012 The Toledo Journal

Months after his death from lung cancer on July 25th at age 74, the body of sitcom actor Sherman Hemsley has yet to be buried.

The popular sitcom icon’s remains are currently locked away inside the San Jose Funeral Home in El Paso, Texas, where a refrigerator is keeping the actor’s body cold until a court settles disputes over who truly has rights to the body and assets.

Hemsley signed a will June 13th leaving all of his possessions to Flora Enchinton, who said she has known the actor for 20 years and lived with him for the last 10 years.

Plans for Enchinton to have custody of the body were placed on hold when Richard Thornton, a Philadelphia man claiming to be the star’s brother began to challenge the document.

Book: Legal Q & A By: Reader’s Digest Living Together

The law is catching up to the nation's trend in living together, adding additional complexity to an already complex field. Since nothing short of a volume would enable me to do justice to the subject.

I suggest you seek legal counsel on any of the following areas into which you and your partner are entering. What holds today may be outdated tomorrow; what is legal in one state may be cause for a suit in another.

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Be sure that you get competent advice on: Obtaining a joint lease on an apartment or house.

Jointly purchasing a condominium, a cooperative apartment, or a home.

Jointly purchasing an automobile.

Taking out insurance --- life, homeowners, automobile, any kind.

Writing a will that involves your partner.

Determining a financial settlement (palimony) if you break up.

Determining disposal of joint properties if you break up.

Assigning child custody and child support of children you have parented together if you break up.

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Book: Having It All By: Helen Gurly Brown Top Ten Reasons Not To Move In Together

You want to save money on rent.

Your roommate is moving out, and his lease just ran out.

You hate living alone.

You feel it will move you closer to marriage.

You are moving to the city where he lives, and it just makes sense.

You want to keep tabs on him.

All your friends are doing it.

There will be more sex

It’s a great way to tick off your parents.

He’s better than most of the guys you’ve dated, so what the hell.

The Six Top Reasons He’s Not Proposing Book: Why Hasn’t He Proposed Go From The First Date To Setting The Date By: Matt Titus & Tamsen Fadal

Cohabitation has made him complacent.

He’s afraid of losing his unmarried edge and fears that a marriage certificate will be a ticket to a life of boredom and ordinariness.

He hates the thought of becoming the clown in his own wedding circus.

The prospect of sleeping with only one woman for the rest of his life terrifies him.

He’s afraid of losing his independence.

He’s afraid the marriage will be a miserable failure that will end up in divorce court and she’ll walk away with half of his stuff.

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Book: Become Your Own Matchmaker By: Patti Stanger with Lisa Johnson Mandell Cohabitation Conversation

This is the conversation in which you tell him what moving in together means to you and find out what it means to him.

First, some talking tips: Give him a heads up that what you are about to say is important. This way he’ll have a chance to get into the necessary frame of mind to process the message.

Also, be direct. Don’t back into the discussion by asking, “How do you feel about me?” or “Where do you see our relationship going?”

You’re there to tell him how you feel about him and where you want the relationship to go.

Once you have his attention, tell him that you will live with him only as a precursor to marriage, not as a trial run before deciding whether you want to get married at some later date.

Feel free to use Stephanie’s tactic --- which wasn’t a ruse, by the way; she was happy in her life and had built a lovely home for herself.

Tell him you aren’t looking for a roommate but do want a life mate.

If he responds that he isn’t ready for that level of commitment that means the two of you are not on the same page.

You know that he is the man you want to marry, but he isn’t confident that you are the woman he wants to marry.

Or maybe he isn’t sure marriage is for him. If he’s on the bubble, than you must remember that moving in with him is more likely to sway him that he does indeed want to pledge you his troth.

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What You Can Do Tips from the Pocatello Police Department for keeping your home secure.

Secure all windows and doors before you go to bed.

Police Blotter: Perkins Police 9: 01 a.m. 500 block West Perkins Avenue Saturday March 21

Woman's ex boyfriend repeatedly knocked on her front door; he left area before police arrived.

4: 44 p.m. 500 block West Perkins Avenue Saturday March 21

Woman's ex boyfriend repeatedly knocked on her front door, left area before police arrived.

Chris McGoey (on the website www.crimedoctor.com writes)

“If you can delay a home invader at the point of entry, then you have a chance of deterring them or have time to call the police.”

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 12: 24 p.m. 1300 block Carr Street Tuesday December 8

Woman found locks changed on home.

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Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 3: 44 p.m. 2100 block Parkview Blvd Tuesday March 3

Woman locked husband out of home.

Be Ready To React: When Threatened, Keep These Tips In Mind During an attempted break in

If you’re awakened in the middle of the night by a strange noise, don’t turn on the lights, says Mark Safarik, a retired FBI profiler.

That will diminish your night vision.

Plus, if you’re near a window, a potential intruder will be able to see in and instantly know where you are.

Instead, dial 911 immediately, then press the panic button on your car’s remote entry device (most have one).

It’s capable of triggering the alarm from a distance of some 30 to 60 feet, and the loud noise may well frighten the intruder away.

By the way, if you’re thinking of getting a gun for protection, make sure you really know how to handle one, says Safarik.

If not, opt for getting a dog with a loud bark.

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Humor December 2012 Reader’s Digest

Walking isn’t a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage. Comedian Evan Esar

What You Can Do Tips from the Pocatello Police Department for keeping your home secure.

Lock the outside garage doors, not just the inside door to the house. An intruder can work unnoticed inside if he gains access.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 11: 47 p.m. 100 block West Boalt Street Tuesday April 19

Woman suspected someone entered her garage.

Police Beat: Crime Log March 19, 2014 The Press

A moped was stolen from an unlocked garage in the 1900 block of Lilias Dr.

Someone entered an unlocked garage in the 800 block of Mambrino Rd and stole a men’s black 26” bike.

LiftMaster: The “I left the garage door open” moment Open or close your garage door from anywhere with your Smartphone

Relax. Whether you’re across the street, or across the ocean a new LiftMaster garage door opener with MyQ technology lets you control your garage door from your Smartphone or computer.

You can also turn on house lights from anywhere. And with Battery Backup, you’ll get in and out of your garage even in a power outage. www.liftmaster.com

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Good Enough: Don’t Skip This Tip July 2010 Good Housekeeping

A fire extinguisher and first aid kit will help you handle any emergencies that might arise in the garage or the yard --- without your having to run into the house when time is at its most precious.

Recalls: Dangerous Product Recalls

Faulty fire extinguishers Kidde has recalled over 4.6 million plastic valve disposable fire extinguishers that can fail to fully discharge in a fire emergency, posing the risk of injury. To get a replacement extinguisher, go to www.kidde.com

Garage Door Safety (NAPSI)

Teaching young children how to spell the word “door” may offer an additional lesson about garage door safety. www.garagedoorcare.com a site sponsored by the International Door Association (IDA), spells safety this way: Doors are heavy --- never stand, run or play under or near any garage door, especially when the door is open or moving.

Openers are for adults --- never play with the button on the wall that opens and closes the garage door.

Ouch! Never touch any part of a moving garage door. Your fingers and hands can get hurt.

Remotes are for adults --- never play with the remote control in the car or on Mom and Dad’s key chain.

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Police Beat: Crime Log May 13, 2015 The Press

Two purses were stolen from an unlocked vehicle in a garage in the 100 block of Ponderosa Drive on June 6th.

Nesting: Home & Garden January 2013 Prevention

Attached garage: Golden Pothos (Epipremnum Aureum) In a study published in the American Society Of Horticultural Science’s journal Hort Technology, this plant performed well in removing ozone, a respiratory irritant present in auto emissions. Place one of these hardy ivies near the door connecting your house and garage.

Light needs: low to medium Humidity: medium Temperature: 65 to 75F

Good Enough: Easy Organizing July 2010 Good Housekeeping

Hide and keep Relegate dangerous chemicals to a well ventilated, lockable cabinet and protect against prying hands and careless spills.

Some Tips For Staying Safe Law enforcement and personal safety experts agree: Locking the obvious entry points could ward off a home invasion.

That means every door, including the garage door, and every window.

Maj. John Tharp of the Lucas County Sheriff's Office advises residents to lock their vehicles --- especially if their garage door opener is inside and they park outside an attached garage.

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Fiction: Murder Under The Stars September 2011 Woman’s World

Joe Garrison’s guard was down as he lounged beneath the night sky --- And that’s when the killer fired the shot!

Detective Nora Kelly wasn’t used to midnight interviews with relatives of murder victims. “My cousin liked to sit in a lounge chair out front before going to bed,” Jack Garrison was saying. “He’d smoke a cigar, stare at the stars and plan his next deal. It was a long time habit.”

“You saw him out here tonight?” Kelly asked.

“Yes. I was in the guest room --- I’m visiting for a few days. It was hot, so I had the windows open. That’s why I heard the shot and the sound of the car driving away. I ran out and found my cousin dead in his lounge chair.”

“Do you know if he has any enemies?” “Yeah, but I don’t know who’d want to kill him. Joe’s a Wall Street trader. He’d made a ton of money over the years, but lately he’s lost big, too. That can’t make his investors, which include me, by the way, and his partner, Fred Walters, happy. There were rumors Joe was running a Ponzi scheme.”

“Was he?” Kelly inquired. “I don’t know, but if he was, Fred Walters isn’t involved. He’d never be connected with anything shady.” Kelly walked over to her partner, Sergeant Dan Marvin.

“What have you got?” “This street is a dead end, so the car Garrison heard had to be heading back that way.” Marvin pointed.

“There are two houses down there,” Kelly noted. “Maybe the owners heard something.”

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The first house Kelly came to was dark. A floodlight over the garage lit up the night as she approached. When no one answered her knock, she went to the second house. “I’m Detective Kelly,” she told the man who answered the door. “There was an incident down the street. Did you hear a gunshot or a car driving by?”

“Sorry,” Marty Hyatt said. “I was watching TV and I have central air, so I keep the windows closed. I never hear noises from outside, but I’m sure no cars went by.”

“Oh? Why not?” Hyatt pointed to the house Kelly had just come from.

“My den is right next to their garage, and they have a motion detector so sensitive it turns on their floodlights every time a car passes. The light flashes right into my den. Until just now, I don’t remember that light going on tonight.”

“Would your neighbors have heard anything?”

“They’re out of town for a week.”

Kelly thanked Hyatt and left. The next day she interviewed Joe Garrison’s partner, Fred Walters.

“Mr. Walters, according to your company records, several people lost a lot of money after taking your partner’s investing advice. Among them were his own cousin and his neighbor Marty Hyatt.”

Fred Walters nodded. “If Joe was scamming anyone, though, he was working freelance. I had nothing to do with it.”

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“Where were you at eleven last night?”

“I’m an early bird, Detective. I was in bed by ten.” With Mr. Garrison gone, you now take over the business, correct?” Fred Walters nodded. Kelly left the room to find her partner. “Looks like we’re getting nowhere fast,” Sergeant Marvin said. “Maybe not. Someone is lying to us, and I have a good idea who.”

Who does Kelly think is lying? If Marty Hyatt or Fred Walters killed Joe Garrison, Hyatt would have no reason to lie about his neighbor’s garage light not turning on the night of the murder.

In fact, if he said it did go on, it would throw suspicion on someone else.

So he must have been telling the truth.

No car drove down the street that night --- which meant Fred Walters hadn’t driven there.

It was Jack Garrison --- enraged over his losses --- who killed his cousin and lied about hearing a car drive away.

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What You Can Do Tips from the Pocatello Police Department for keeping your home secure.

Never assume: “It can't happen here.”

Install motion lights outside to deter intruders.

Misc Digest: Streetlights That Are Less Creepy January 2012 Reader’s Digest

LED lamps are replacing the yellowish sodium vapor ones we’re all used to. Instead of the “light from hell,” writes Hal Espen in the Atlantic, we can all soon enjoy prettier, more efficient night lights.

Inspirational Message Of The Week: Shine On!

I was frustrated that despite my repeated calls, the streetlight in front of my house was still out. Because we don’t have sidewalks and there is such a large distance between the streetlights, it’s important that each light is functional to illuminate the darkness. I worried that I might hit one of the school kids as I pulled out of my driveway in the early morning hours.

The idea of light is used frequently in the Bible. Jesus said He is the Light of the world (John 9:5). We are told to “put on the armor of light” by clothing ourselves with the Lord (Rom. 13: 12-14). And Matthew 5:16 instructs that we should “let (our) light so shine before men, that they may see (our) good works and glorify (our) Father in heaven.”

A light that doesn’t shine has lost its usefulness. Jesus said that no one hides a light under a basket but puts it on a lamp stand to illuminate everything around it. (Matt 5:15). Our light (our actions) should point people to the One who is the Light. We don’t have any light in ourselves, but we shine with the reflection of Christ (Eph 5:8).

God has placed each of us in a specific environment that will best allow us to shine with His light. Don’t be like a burned out streetlight. Shine on! Cindy Hess Kasper

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Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 9: 18 a.m. 2900 block Venice Road Thursday April 23

Alarm

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 6: 47 p.m. 400 block West Market Street Thursday April 23

Alarm

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 3: 25 a.m. 1300 block East Larchmont Drive Monday June 8

Burglar alarm went off; resident got upset, stayed at friends.

Book: Legal Q & A By: Reader’s Digest

Question: Abraham’s home has an alarm that is connected to the nearest police station. The alarm sounded during a burglary, but the police didn’t respond until long after the thief had fled. Can Abraham sue the police?

Answer: Probably not. Although the police have a duty to protect the public, this does not make them liable when an individual suffers as a result of their actions or their failure to act.

However, a few states have laws that allow an individual police officer to be held personally liable in certain circumstances. Abraham should find out what the law says in his state.

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Top 10 College Dormitory Safety Tips

Close friends and family should know your routines. Provide a copy of your schedule for both class and work. You want those close to you to have a general idea of where you are supposed to be in case something happens.

Always lock the door. If you’re stepping out for even a couple minutes make sure to lock up. Never give your key or a copy of it to another person, and if you lose your key, have the lock changed as soon as possible.

If you’re going to sleep, do not leave the door unlocked for your roommate. They should have their own key and follow the same rules for safety.

Lock your windows. You should keep your windows locked when you’re gone and at night while sleeping. Follow this dorm room safety guideline even if you’re not on the ground level.

Never open the door for strangers. You’ve grown up and moved away from home but this golden rule still applies. You should always verify who is on the other side of the door before opening it.

The door to your dorm room probably has a deadbolt and peep hole, use them.

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Keep your valuables hidden. It’s always a good idea to keep important items locked away. A diversion safe is perfect for the dorm room. This type of safe is disguised to look like common everyday items, such as a book on the shelf.

Use this to keep money, credit cards, expensive jewelry, and any other small valuable items. For larger items, you might want to consider insurance to cover the expense if they are stolen.

Install a cheap door alarm. Hopefully the building itself has a professional alarm system in place. However, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t add the extra security in a door alarm for your room. Inexpensive alarms that attach magnetically and emit a loud sound can help protect you from intruders.

Install affordable window alarms. You can purchase an inexpensive alarm unit for your windows as well. If an intruder opens or breaks your window, you want everyone to hear it. This is a perfect addition to your college dorm room security plan.

Purchase a can of self defense spray and keep it with you at all times. In a recent study, convicted rapists were asked what would cause them to stop their attack and run.

All of them agreed that a woman aiming pepper spray at them would cause them to flee. They stated that they were looking for easy targets. A woman who was attempting to defend herself normally wasn’t worth the trouble.

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When it comes to college dorm safety, know all emergency routes and where the exits are in your dorm.

Know where the nearest emergency phone is located and have all emergency numbers saved in your phone. Having another physical copy of these numbers posted somewhere in your room is also a great idea.

Always use the elevator. Stairwells are a common choice for attackers because they are both secluded and confined.

If you must use the stairwell, bring a friend. If you’re in the elevator with a person who makes you feel uncomfortable, get off on the next floor.

If you are about to get on the elevator but the current occupants make you feel uneasy, wait for the next elevator.

Use common sense and trust your instincts.

Never take your safety for granted. There’s nothing wrong with being cautious at all times. College life can be an exciting part of your life but you want those memories to be good ones. Make the most of it by being active with dorm room safety.

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Better Business Bureau (Free Report) Safe & Sound: Securing Your Home

All the talk about Homeland Security is prompting more consumers to secure their home fronts. More and more people are buying professionally installed alarm systems for their homes. Although no system makes your home completely burglar proof, a home security system can reduce your chances of being burglarized and give some peace of mind.

The Better Business Bureau advises consumers to investigate the purchase of a home security system with the same care as they would any major purchase.

The best home security system will accommodate your lifestyle and specific valuables you want protected. Carefully consider your security requirements and budget.

To find out what kind of system is best for you, it is wise to call a professional installer. You may also get a recommendation from the insurance company that covers your home.

If you seek to buy a home security system, contact at least three companies before selecting an installer. Find out if they are properly licensed in your state and if they screen employees before hiring.

Ask for references and check the company out with the Better Business Bureau and the National Burglar And Fire Alarm Association.

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Prices for home security will vary, based on the level of protection and type of technology used, so be sure to compare apples to apples bids on similar systems.

Do not forget to factor in the initial installation charge, as well as monthly monitoring charges. Also, talk to your insurance agent; some systems may qualify you for a discount on homeowner’s premiums.

If your alarm system will be monitored, either by your installing company or by a third party monitoring center finds out the length of the contract. Typically, monitoring contracts are between two to five years in length. What is the recourse if you are not satisfied with the services provided? Can you cancel the contract?

What are your rights if your monitoring company is purchased or acquired by another alarm company? These are the types of questions you need to consider before you obligate yourself to a long-term contract. Insist that the installer “walk” you through your system until you fully understand how it works.

This will prevent the most common problem: false alarms. False alarms are an indicator of the quality of the alarm installation and user education.

Ask for a complete inspection of your property and an itemized written estimate. Review the sales contract closely to ensure you understand exactly what equipment and protection you will be provided.

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Choosing The System: Tips Book: How To Do Just About Everything By: Reader's Digest

You may want to include some kind of alarm noisemaker. A blast of a siren or alarm bell not only alerts neighbors that an intruder is in your home, but also can scare the trespasser away.

A motion sensor outside the home can provide an early warning and, when used with a noisemaker, can discourage an intruder from entering your home.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 3: 30 p.m. 200 block East Adams Street Friday September 26

Cat set off residential alarm.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 10: 16 a.m. 200 block Decatur Street Saturday June 7

Home alarm activated; nothing suspicious found.

Police Blotter: Marblehead Police 8: 25 p.m. 1400 block Tower Street Friday January 30

Woman said the lights in her house were off when she left for work, and now they were on. Nothing out of place.

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Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 12: 23 a.m. 1000 block Hayes Avenue Wednesday June 18

Door kicked in; note left behind. Woman suspected ex.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 1: 31 a.m. 800 block Wayne Street Wednesday September 24

Woman heard man outside her door; officers didn't find him

Be Alert About Alarms Homes with security systems are three times less likely to be targeted. October 2010 Good Housekeeping

Check that outside warning decals and signs are plainly visible to passerby --- these alone may be deterrent enough.

Most sensors don’t detect glass breakage. It may be worth the extra cost to add glass sensors or a motion sensor to a room with sliding glass doors.

Block Watch Offers Tips To Keep Belongings Safe Holly Gusky, leader of Block Watch in Toledo

Criminals watch your schedule. A lot of these punks are out at 5 a.m. They are watching and keeping track. Do something different. They are good at what they do because they take the time to keep track of what is going on.

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Police Blotter: Erie County Sheriff 12: 01 p.m. 300 block West Sawmill Creek Drive Huron Township Saturday June 21

Woman went to her ex-girlfriend's house to get her belongings. Woman living at home wouldn't answer door.

Doors And Residential Security Book: How To Do Just About Everything By: Reader's Digest

You should have a peephole installed in your outside door for viewing visitors. A metal door with solid core, fitted with a peephole is recommended.

Man Pleads Guilty In 1991 Fatal Shooting In Central Ohio March 31, 2015 The Register

Columbus --- Columbus police and court records said Anthony M. Taylor, entered the pleas Monday in the August 27th, 1991, shooting of 39 year old Jerry Watts, who was shot and killed when he answered a knock at his door.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 4: 23 p.m. 500 block Fulton Street Wednesday February 24

Footprint on door.

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Here’s The Deal: Home Security Alert

It’s hard to believe, but $3 will open just about any door with a conventional pin tumbler lock. All you need is a special bump key, widely available on the Internet.

Security expert Marc Weber Tobias says these keys are legal and simple to produce.

“Even a 15 year old kid can do it, and it’s almost impossible to prevent their distribution or use,” he says.

His advice? Make sure the perimeter of your house is well lit, and install a high-security lock like the Kwikset Smart Key ($30) or the Schlage Primus ($75-$100). Janice Lieberman www.readersdigest.com/askjanice

Consider A DIY Installation System LifeShield’s www.lifeshield.com or SimpliSafe’s www.simplisafe.com.

They’re cheaper and don’t require hard wiring like traditional services do.

You’ll be alerted via phone, text message, or e-mail if a door or window is opened. Amy Roberts

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Crime Of The Week: Homicide $1, 000 Reward On October 13th, Toledo Police received a call of shots fired at 1912 West Alexis, Toledo.

Upon arrival, Toledo Police located a young female at her residence who had been shot several times. Through investigation it was learned that Walker and the female victim had been dating and were involved in a violent domestic dispute.

Toledo Police have now issued warrants for the alleged shooter/boyfriend Marquis Walker. Walker is considered armed and dangerous.

The Northern Ohio Violent Fugitive Task Force will go anywhere in the country to apprehend Walker. If you have any information on the whereabouts of this man, call the U.S. Marshall at 1-866-WANTED or Crime Stoppers at 419-254-1111.

Update: Captured!

A Blytheville, Arkansas woman awakened by a noise in the living room was startled when she heard a voice calling, “Hello …” “Hello.”

She was certain the voice was coming from her fireplace. She woke her husband. When they looked out the window, the couple saw a vehicle in their driveway, and it wasn’t theirs.

They called the sheriff’s office. The Deputies found a man stuck in the chimney. He had made it down about 50 feet from the chimney top but became stuck four feet above the ground.

When the officer remove d the damper and spread the damper flue, the trapped man crawled out. He was charged with breaking and entering, burglary and theft.

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Book: Call Her Miss Ross By: J. Randy Taraborrelli

On the night of December 2nd, 1969, Cindy Birdsong returned home to her Hollywood apartment after rehearsing with Mary and Diana's replacement, Jean.

She was greeted by her boyfriend Charles Hewlett, who had keys to the apartment, and one of his buddies. When Cindy went into the bedroom to change her clothes, she found an intruder waiting for her.

A desperate white man in his late twenties, with a crazed look in his eyes and, wielding two butcher knives from her kitchen, pushed her back into the living room.

Apparently he had been hiding while Cindy's boyfriend was waiting for her in the apartment.

Holding a knife at Birdsong's throat, the man forced her to bind her guests' hands behind their backs with their ties and then dragged Cindy, kicking and screaming, out of the building and into her car.

With Cindy in the passenger seat, her kidnapper began to drive along the Long Beach Freeway for what Cindy described as “30 minutes of terror.”

Traveling at high speed, the two struggled in the car, his knife slicing all of her fingers on both hands. He threatened her with what was going to happen after he met up with two of his friends.

In a moment of desperation, Cindy opened the car door and leaped into the cold, dark night. She hit the hard concrete of the freeway and rolled down a dirt embankment.

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Don’t Have An Open Door Policy October 2010 Good Housekeeping

In nearly a third of burglaries, the crooks come in through an unlocked or open door or window. The obvious solution: Use your locks.

Even better, install single barrel deadbolts (which use a key on the outside and a lever on the inside) on all first floor exterior doors, including the one from the garage to the house.

Reinforce sliding doors by placing a cut to fit dowel or broomstick in the track. Amy Roberts

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police Richard Macina protection order violation 1: 15 p.m. 1000 block LaSalle Street Monday May 18

Macina walked into woman's home despite protection order against him.

Can You Believe It? I can’t remember the source, but the story will never be forgotten.

For reasons unknown a man wanted to have his mother and grandmother killed. He hired a hit man, and told him that the home where the two women lived together would be easy to access.

The doors and windows were always unlocked.

For whatever reasons, the man changed his mind, and the night the plot was scheduled, he locked all the doors and windows in the home, preventing the killer from entering.

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Doors And Residential Security Book: How To Do Just About Everything By: Reader’s Digest

Dateline (TV Show): How well does your Locksmith screen employees?

Key In Knob Locks: These are a pin tumbler design and extend into the door jam at least 3/4. To prevent being opened with a credit card it should be a cylindrical or bolt type lock.

Do not use a mortise lock with a double cylinder on an exit door that is used in case of a fire. These require a key on both sides of the door.

Vertical Deadbolt Lock: These are mounted on the door and door frame and must be secured to withstand forcible entry. They are pin tumbler, single cylinder design.

Surface Mounted Sliding Deadbolt: exactly the same as the vertical deadbolt, but the bolt locks horizontally.

When using multiple locks, you should mount them one foot apart.

Installing a bar and bracket --- a steel bar stretched across the door and which fits into brackets secured to the wall on either side of the door will give you added security.

French door locks should be double cylinder (two keys required) as well as locking bolts from each door into the floor or ceiling.

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Try to have a door that has no glass.

Police Beat: Crime Log March 13, 2014 The Press

Money and jewelry were taken from a home in the 3900 block of Pickle Rd. after the suspect broke glass in the rear door and entered the home.

Doors that are made solid should be at least 1 3/4 thick.

You should have a peephole installed in your outside door for viewing visitors. A metal door with solid core, fitted with a peephole is recommended.

For protection, French doors should have bars and grilles. The same goes for sliding doors. As with all doors they should fit tightly into their frames.

Hinges should be on the inside to prevent being removed, and the door frames should be sturdy and solid.

You should fit sliding doors with a grille, steel shutters or bars and make sure they cannot be lifted out of their runners.

Because your garage door does not give any security at all, you have to think about making the door between your house and garage sounder. If you use a well mounted sliding deadbolt lock this should suffice.

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Deadbolt Replacement: Things You’ll Need Book: How To Do Just About Everything By: Reader’s Digest

Screwdriver

Tape measure

Replacement dead bolt lock

Wood chisel

Deadbolt Replacement Book: How To Do Just About Everything By: Reader’s Digest

Take the old dead bolt out of the door by using a screwdriver to remove the screws on the inside panel of the lock. Be sure to note how the lock comes apart.

Grasp the inside and outside pieces of the lock face.

Pull them away from the door.

Remove the screws from the lock --- mechanism plate, which is on the edge of the door.

Measure the diameter of the hole in the door, or take the old dead bolt to the hardware store or lock shop to ensure that you purchase the proper-size replacement.

Place the new locking mechanism in the hold on the edge of the door.

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Use the screws provided to attach the plate to the door edge.

Work the inside and outside halves of the lock cylinder into proper alignment. Secure them to the door with the screws provided.

Be sure that the bolt plate on the edge of the door is flush --- mounted with the surface of the wood. Sometimes the hole for the plate will need to be enlarged slightly with a wood chisel.

Test the lock a few times from both the inside and the outside to ensure that it has been assembled properly.

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 9: 30 p.m. 200 block Neil Street Wednesday June 12

Men entered woman's house during a group fight near her residence.

A Tragic Outcome

In the Springfield Township incident, three men entered a house on Manley Road near Salisbury Road about 11:30 p.m. May 20th through an unlocked door and assaulted the owner.

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Rape Reported After Holiday Party

The victim told police she was sleeping and woke up to find the man assaulting her. She said he must have had a key to the room.

Police Beat: Crime Log July 15, 2013 The Press

Someone used keys from when they lived at a residence in the 4900 block of Bayshore Rd., and took a dog and a set of tools on January 8th.

Someone had a key to a house in the 5800 block of Willacker Rd., and opened a door on January 7th.

The Blotter: Pulled from the pages of actual police reports February 13, 2013 Toledo City Paper

A Toledo man reported that an unknown suspect used a key to break into his Shoreland Avenue apartment and stole his prized photograph of John Wayne holding a rifle.

The victim reported no other items missing from the apartment.

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Northwood Police Seek Suspect In Burglary, Arson

As he entered the house, the son saw that it had been ransacked and that the suspect had allegedly started a fire in the residence according to Detective Sigler.

Police believe entry was gained through an unlocked door.

Kids Are Funny!

My son was running errands with his two daughters who were five and seven at the time. The girls were telling endless “knock knock” jokes until he couldn’t stand it anymore. He told the girls he did not want to hear another “knock knock” joke for the rest of the car ride.

After several minutes of quiet, a little voice said, “ding dong.” Ruth Fenton

Laughs & Giggles Pathway Christian News

A pastor is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.

However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.

After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the pastor moves closer to the boy’s position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.

Crouching down to the child’s level, the pastor smiles benevolently and asks, “ And now what, my little man?”

To which the boy replies, “Now we run!”

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Say What?

“I have six locks on my door and bolt every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they're always locking three.”

Cosmo Confessions: Home Invasion

“I was going to meet up with my buddy Matt at his friend Aaron’s house, and I’d only been there once before. I pulled up in front of the house and wasn’t positive it was Aaron’s but I saw a car that looked just like Matt’s out front.

Neither guy answered the door or his phone, so I decided to see if the door was unlocked. It was, so I let myself in.

I managed to do a full lap around the first floor of the house and helped myself to food in the fridge before realizing that there were no lights on and the house was empty.

As I was driving away, Matt called me to say they’d gone on a beer run and were on the way back. We met up at an intersection, and I followed them back to Aaron’s place --- except that it was a completely different house!

I’d gone into a stranger’s home and even raided the fridge without knowing it! That was two years ago, and my friends still tease me mercilessly about it all the time.” Cecelia

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Dear Annie: Six years ago, I became involved with a man who has two adult children. We live together in the house his children grew up in, and they frequently come over to visit their father.

The problem is they refuse to knock before entering. They call, sometimes hours before they intend to show up, saying they will be coming sometime during the day and then simply walk in through whatever door is unlocked.

I asked one of them to please knock first, and she told me this is her house and she shouldn't have to announce her arrival.

I have discussed this with their father, but he believes as long as they call, it's enough. I think this is very rude and shows no respect for our privacy. Too Open In California

Dear California: Anyone entering someone else's home should knock first, but these adult kids obviously believe this isn't “someone else's” home.

We don't recommend you pit yourself against your boyfriend's children.

Your problem is easily solved by regularly locking all your doors. Do it. [email protected]

Police Blotter: Sandusky Police 3: 57 a.m. 800 block Jackson Street Sunday June 12

Woman awoke to find drunken man stumbling around her home.

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S. Toledo Man Guilty In Rape, Burglary July 1, 2008 The Blade

In each case, Miller entered the homes in the middle of the night while the homeowners slept.

On Jan 7th at a home on Treetop Court through a sliding glass door and again on Jan 10th at an Amanda Circle residence through a garage access door, Miller entered the homes and stole several thousand dollars worth of electronic equipment.

Jan 11th in an apartment on Walnut Circle, Miller again entered the residence through a sliding glass door, there he found a 20 year old woman sleeping on her couch.

Elle Intelligence: “Edith’s 50th Birthday” 1977 Televisionaries: Women In TV: All In The Family

Edith (Jean Stapleton) fends off a home invader and would be rapist, escapes, and is then urged by her daughter (Sally Struthers) to ID her attacker to the police. Later the episode became a fixture in sensitivity training for the N.Y.P.D.

Be Ready To React: When Threatened, Keep These Tips In Mind When a stranger is at your door

Because criminals often use a ruse to gain entry to a home, like wearing a uniform or saying they have a delivery, always demand identification, even if it’s the police. And make them show it to you through the peephole or a window, says Safarik. Still not satisfied? Ask for a phone number so you can verify that they’re actually from FedEx or FTD.

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Deception Key In Burglaries

Over the past couple of months there have been several burglaries throughout Toledo by two individuals who fraudulently claim to be from the water department or gas company.

The suspects, described as two Hispanic males and/or one Hispanic female; or two white males and/or one white female, are usually dressed in coveralls or uniform type clothing. One even wore a hard hat.

They are very polite and cordial and talk their way into the elderly victims’ homes. Once inside, they split up and keep the victim distracted “looking for leaks.”

Once they leave, the victim finds that money and jewelry are missing. In one case, the victim said they came in a nice red car and pulled all the way into the driveway. In an earlier case, the neighbor identified a blue mini-van as the suspect vehicle.

The Toledo Police Department said the public should keep their doors locked and check to see if vehicles are clearly marked with the City of Toledo or Columbia Gas seal. Water Department employees will have visible identification.

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The Safe Room Strategy

In a 2002 thriller movie, actress Jodie Foster and her co-star escape to a secured “Panic Room” when three burglars break into their New York brownstone.

Although most homeowners don't have panic rooms, Chris McGoey, a security consultant in Los Angeles, said the movie generated interest in the concept of having a secured room inside a house to retreat to during a home invasion.

He said it’s unlikely that many people would spend the money to have a safe room constructed in their house. But there are ways people can protect themselves against an intruder.

Families should identify a room inside the house where everyone can easily get to during a robbery. He said the room should have a back window or door to escape through.

Mr. McGoey said during instances of home invasions, chances of survival are better if a family member is able to escape. The intruder then knows police are on their way and they have limited time to escape.

The safe room should be equipped with a cell phone and a reinforced door, which can be made to look like a normal bedroom door.

“The whole idea is not for it to be a bunker,” he said. “It's mainly just to give you time to call police and delay an intruder.”

Mr. McGoey recommends that families with children plan when and how to use the safe room, stock it with emergency supplies in advance, and secure a key inside the room.

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Reference Materials: Knowing When It’s Time To Go

Book: A Paper Life By: Tatum O’Neal

Book: Book Of Modern Manners By: Charlotte Ford

Book: He’s Just Not That Into You By: Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo

Book: How Georgia Became O’Keeffe By: Karen Karbo

Book: How To Be A Movie Star: Elizabeth Taylor In Hollywood. By: William J. Mann

Book: How To Hepburn: Lessons On Living From Kate The Great By: Karen Karbo

Book: How To Make Anyone Fall In Love With You By: Leil Lowndes

Book: It Ended Badly By: Jennifer Wright

Book: Legal Q & A By: Reader’s Digest

Book: Sex And The New Single Girl By: Helen Gurley Brown

Book: Straight Talk No Chaser By: Steve Harvey

Book: The Gospel According To Coco Chanel By: Karen Karbo

Book: The Guys Only Guide To Getting Over Divorce And On With Life, Sex, And Relationships By: Sam J. Buser, PhD

Book: Loving Amy By: Janis Winehouse

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Reference Materials: Knowing When It’s Time To Go Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research

Health Monitor Journal Of Health And Social Behavior

Men’s Health Men’s Journal National ENQUIRER New York Post

PEOPLE

Reader’s Digest Rolling Stone Star

The Blade The Call And Post The Chronicle-Telegram The Register The Toledo Journal Toledo Free Press

Us Weekly

WebMD the Magazine

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Reference Materials: Knowing When It’s Time To Go American Academy Of Matrimonial Lawyers American Community survey

Bureau Of Labor Statistics

Divorce Court Emory University divorce coach Karen Finn, Ph.D.

iHeartRadio Music Awards Institute of Family Studies Kansas State University

Florida State University Debra Hamilton of Hamilton Law And Mediation in Armonk, N.Y.

Emily Hickey is an advocate for the LGBTQ community through Toledo Pride and OUTSKIRTS

National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233

Judith Orloff, MD, assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA PetCoach online resource for pet owners, chief veterinarian Christie Long

Rehab (Album) Michael W. Smith MD WebMD Chief Medical Editor Stalking Resource Center Stanford University University of Oklahoma University of Utah

University of Washington

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Rachel Velishek licensed professional clinical counselor

Wake Forest University in Winston Salem N.C.

WalletHub

Reference Materials: Happily Ever After Requires Communication

Book: Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man By: Steve Harvey

Book: Become Your Own Matchmaker By: Patti Stanger with Lisa Johnson Mandell

Book: Hello Goodbye Hello By: Craig Brown

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Book: Just Between Us By: Mario Lopez

Book: Legal Q & A By: Reader’s Digest

Book: Miss Manners On Painfully Proper Weddings By: Judith Martin

Reference Materials: Happily Ever After Requires Communication

Men’s Health More National ENQUIRER

Rolling Stone The Blade The Toledo Journal

Woman’s World Parade PEOPLE Reader’s Digest Us Magazine

Reference Materials: Happily Ever After Requires Communication

Baywatch

Nancy Kalish, PhD Professor Emeritus of Psychology at California State University at Sacramento

Reference Materials: Securing Your Home

Book: Call Her Miss Ross By: J. Randy Taraborrelli Book: How To Do Just About Everything By: Reader's Digest

Book: Johnny Carson By: Henry Bushkin

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Book: Legal Q & A By: Reader’s Digest

Book: 100 Questions About Love & Relationships By: Dr. Barbara DeAngelis

Reference Materials: Securing Your Home

Atlantic columnist; Hal Espen Buckeyes Behind Bars Crime Times 911 Buckeyes Behind Bars Cosmopolitan Detective Cases Good Housekeeping Hort Technology Men’s Health www.menshealth.com/experts

Naples Daily News Nutrition Journal

Pathway Christian News

Reader’s Digest www.readersdigest.com/askjanice

The Blade The Press The Register Toledo City Paper Woman’s World

Reference Materials: Securing Your Home

American Society Of Horticultural Science

Better Business Bureau www.bbb.org

www.budgetdesignguide.com 1-866-604-4696

Crime Stoppers at 419-254-1111

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Dateline (TV Show): How well does your Locksmith screen employees? www.earthwisewindows.com Dale Emch, 405 Madison Ave., Suite 1200 Toledo, Ohio 43604 Charles E. Boyk Law Offices, LLC in Toledo

FedEx FTD

Holly Gusky, leader of Block Watch in Toledo

International Door Association (IDA) www.garagedoorcare.com

Kwikset Smart Key ($30)

Tony Leggett www.liftmaster.com LifeShield’s www.lifeshield.com Lucas County Dog Warden Julie Lyle

Chris McGoey, a security consultant in Los Angeles, www.crimedoctor.com MyQ technology

National Burglar And Fire Alarm Association Northern Ohio Violent Fugitive Task Force NYPD

Ohio Department Of Rehabilitation And Corrections

Panic Room (Movie) Pocatello Police Department

Mark Safarik retired FBI profiler

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Schlage Primus ($75-$100)

SimpliSafe’s www.simplisafe.com

Maj. John Tharp of the Lucas County Sheriff's Office Marc Weber Tobias Security expert U.S. Marshall at 1-866-WANTED www.windowworld.com 1-800-NEXT WINDOW

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