Wiseyes LLC [email protected] Title: Fight Or Flight? Knowing How And When To Break Up Series: 2 of 8 Language: English Non-Fiction Categories: How To * Self Help * True Crime * Entertainment * Pop Culture * Dating/Relationships * Current Affairs * Pets * Women’s Issues * Health * Social Issues * Parenting * Release Date: March 2017 Series: $12.49 /3 books no substitutions please Pages/Word Count: Available at a later date 3 Month Trial Membership/12 books/ 4series $24.99 Description: 21st century survival/life skills. Basic 101 1 Wiseyes LLC Series pre-publishing peek! Entertaining * Educational * Empowering * Enlightening * Introductory Offer: 3 free! EBooks Listen To Your Intuition And Avoid Making Mistakes Series 1: Research Before Romance Or Finance *Listen to your intuition and avoid making mistakes *Do your homework! *The dark side of silence Series 2: Fight Or Flight? *Securing your home *Know when and how to break up *Happily ever after requires communication Series 3: What Are You Bringing To The Table? *Body image 1 *Love money & independence *What are you bringing to the table? Series 4: Fatal Flaws *Familiarity *What/who are you attracting into your life? *Deal breakers/Red Flags that shouldn’t be ignored 2 Dear Carolyn: If the categories are: 1. Talk things out 2. Try counseling Or 3. Break up, how do you know which category your relationship problems fall into? At A Fork In The Road Dear At A Fork: That's a different list. 1. Will anything change? 2. Can I accept that? Or 3. Should I accept that? Also known as, patience, honesty, guts. Good Luck www.facebook.com/carolyn.hax @ Work While working for the Social Security Administration, I helped an elderly woman --- who was no longer married --- fill out her claim form. Reading off a question, I asked, “How did your marriage end?” “ Just fine,” she said, grinning a little too broadly. “He died.” Willis Bird 3 Ask Amy Married Couple Are Poor Partners And Parents Dear Amy: My current husband I have been married 14 years. (he is 74, I am 60). I had a very traumatic divorce. My current husband was one of the lawyers involved in the divorce. We had a whirlwind relationship and married after nine months. My new stepdaughter, 31 years old at the time, chose to destroy our special day, and to this day, hates me. My husband and I tried to work this through; he was devastated and I let her walk all over me. Now I don’t have anything to do with her. Now, my husband has refused to attend any of my family events if my only son is attending because my son has had several DUI’s. My son is a very hard worker but has a very limited income. I have helped him out with legal fees, etc … I used our joint accounts for this. Mainly my husband seems to think my son is a loser. After holding in my anger about having to shuffle holiday events so that my husband doesn’t have to be there with my “wayward” son, I totally blew up and revealed very ugly sexual activities that his daughter did. I feel terrible about this. Because he is a lawyer and can file for divorce (and has done it before without my knowledge after fights), is my love for him healthy? Should we try harder to make this work? Ninety percent of the time we are good. Wondering Wife 4 Dear Wondering: Should you work harder on your marriage? Yes. But you two also seem to be equally poor parents: enablers, punishers, and with distorted views of your adult children. I’m shocked that your marriage is good 90 percent of the time, because given what you report, you two deal with your problems by refusing to deal with your problems and blaming your partners. You should decide to be partners first, and then parent together. This means that you don’t sneak money from your joint account to enable your son’s drinking, and he doesn’t tolerate his adult daughter’s mistreatment of you. Your mutual refusal to acknowledge and take responsibility for your own actions doesn’t bode well. A counselor with a specialty in family systems could help. You might also want to consult with your own lawyer. [email protected] 5 Tony’s Mystic World: Mending A Broken Heart Here is another installment of Tony Leggett’s psychic series October 31, 2016 Examiner So many of you have written, e-mailed or called me over the years, wondering how you can heal from broken hearts, that I felt it would make a good topic for this column. Everybody experiences a broken heart at least once in a lifetime --- no matter how hardhearted somebody may appear. You are not alone. Broken hearts can result from death, loss of any kind, an unforeseen disaster or extreme loneliness. The range of emotions that result from such loss may include depression, anger, aggression, sadness, confusion and even illness or the feeling that you don’t want to live anymore. All of these are perfectly normal. But the real problem is that you feel like a victim. I want you to know that you are not a victim. You have simply joined the broken hearts club. In order to lessen the pain, many people self medicate with pills and/or alcohol. The pain is real, but the answer to healing doesn’t not include violent outbursts, crying nonstop, complaining endlessly or taking mind altering substances. 6 When loss occurs, you might say, “Why did this happen to me?” You may cling to the pain for years. After all, the heart and soul are connected with a fine gold thread. Over time, you forget about loving others --- and even loving yourself because you are so consumed with the void left in your life. This kind of reaction to loss keeps you from getting your life back in order: If you believe in the theory of like attracts like, and then if you are depressed and in despair, you will be drawn to other negative people, thus putting you in a deeper emotional hole, which is devoid of good feelings. When you are hurting, your God chip shuts down and encloses you in darkness. You are unable to see the light around you or find happiness in the simplest things. If you are in this state right now, try a little experiment. Have somebody take a photo off you. Now compare your face to one taken at a happy occasion. You will be shocked at the difference. And this is how you appear to others, with sad eyes and your mouth turned down. So how do you turn this around? The soul needs to be fed with love on a regular basis. If the object of your affection is no longer with you, learn to love yourself. When you find happiness in the life around and within, your inner spirit come alive and the dark clouds move on. You feel warmed, more content and you will function better. Master Teachers encourage self love to bring you back to peace and happiness. That, in turn, provides the glow that attracts a better, more prosperous life as well as bringing you in contact with others who are not steeped in sadness. As I have said many times, like attracts like. 7 Practically speaking, here are four simple rules for mending a broken heart: “Give yourself time. A death or bad breakup usually takes about a year to fully heal. Don’t shut everybody out. Surround yourself with good vibes and people who love you. “Change your environment. This may include putting away some photos or objects and cleaning out closets or moving furniture around. “Write a letter or a series of letters spilling out your feelings. Then put those letters in a drawer. There is no need to mail them. It’s a way to let the anxiety out. “Stop beating up on yourself. Forgive yourself for any hurt that you have caused by making wrong choices. Prepare your heart and soul to move on. Remember, eventually every heart heals. All it needs is time and love. Love is ALL you need! 8 Study Says A Broken Heart May Prove Fatal February 10, 2005 The Blade Stress found to trigger life threatening spasm A traumatic breakup, the death of a loved one, or even the shock of a surprise party can unleash a flood of stress hormones that can stun the heart, causing sudden, life threatening heart spasms in otherwise healthy people, they reported yesterday. Book: It Ended Badly By: Jennifer Wright Nonfiction: Safe to say that from Lucrezia Borgia to Debbie Reynolds, the rich and famous have not always found lasting happiness in love. (Historically, poisoning or beheading is involved). Wright combines a deep knowledge of her subjects with an abiding love for their depravity; she chronicles their breakups with a wit as sharp as a guillotine’s blade. Spirituality: Come Out Of Your 20’s Stronger August 2012 Essence * Nurture your spirit * Ask for help * Be fearless * Spend your time and money on experiences, not just things Remember trouble doesn’t last During those moments while you’re in that deep dark hole you fell into --- job loss, bank accounts in the red, heartbreak, bad credit, bad decisions --- it won’t feel like it can get better, but know that it will. “Don’t pray for a miracle, pray for a plan,” says publicist Christina Rice. “A plan will ensure your tomorrow will be better than it is today.” Demetria L.