This Too Is For The Best This Too Is For The Best
Approaching Trials and Tribulations from a Torah Perspective Rabbi Yerachmiel Moskoff לזכרון עולם בהיכל ה'
נשמת אדוני אבי
רבי נח משה בן רבי יצחק אלחנן
הכהן זצ"ל - מלץ .Mosaica Press, Inc © 2013 by Mosaica Press נאמן בדרכיו ומעשיו Edited by Doron Kornbluth Typeset and designed by Rayzel Broyde נוח לשמים ונוח לבריות All rights reserved ISBN 978-1-937-88705-6 ISBN-10: 1-937-88705-7 ותמיד צהלתו על פניו ,No part of this publication may be translated, reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior permission in writing from both the copyright השפיע במדות אלו לכל מי שהכירו .holder and the publisher
יהי זכרו ברוך :Published and distributed by Mosaica Press, Inc. נלב"ע ט"ז שבט תשס"ב www.mosaicapress.com [email protected] הונצח ע"י בנו הלל שליט"א Printed in Israel ויה"ר שיזכה להגדיל תורה ולהאדירה
מתוך הרחבת הדעת ומנוחת הנפש
תנצב"ה In Loving Memory of
Mordechai and Dutzi Mezei I wish to dedicate my first English sefer to ,my dear parents לעילוי נשמת מרדכי בן משה צבי הלוי דבורה בת אליעזר הכהן
Devorah bas Eliezer (HaKohen) was a true Akeres Habayis. She loved Franklin and Sheila her children and grandchildren with all her heart. The beautiful homes and families that her children and grandchildren have built is a testament to the incredible woman that she was. Moskoff Mordechai ben Moshe Tzvi (HaLevi) was truly an Ish Gam Zu L’Tova. His Emunah in Hashem was great. The trials and tribula- Their support and encouragement in all of my tions of his life were used as a vehicle to strengthen his relationship projects mean so much. They have been, and with Hashem. When once asked how he remained so steadfast in his continue to be, a tremendous positive influence on Yiddishkeit all these years, he answered, “Obviously because of the me. I can never thank them enough for all they have Holocaust. How could you not see Hashem at that time?” The chal- done and for always being there for me. lenges of life were met with the calm awareness that it was all part of Hashem’s plan. He radiated warmth and love to his children and grandchildren, never wasting time to focus on the negative. He gave May Hashem give them all of the blessings await- us his smile and his calm wisdom. His legacy of a family that continu- ing generous and kindhearted people. They should ally grows in their Torah observance and Emunah is a testament to always have much nachas from all of their offspring his unyielding belief that Hashem guides everything, and that we will and merit the best of this world and the next. eventually see that everything is truly for the good. Amen.
Dedicated by their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren Dedicated to my dear brother R’ Yerachmiel on the occasion of his new book. May you go from chayel to chayel, and continue to be a living example of all that is written within! Love, Hirschel Y. Moskoff For the speedy recovery of Chaya Batya bas Chana May Hashem Yisborach grant her a complete recovery, healing of body & soul, among all the sick of our nation.
Contents
Foreword...... 17 Acknowledgments...... 29 Preface...... 31 What are “Yissurim?”...... 37 Types of Yissurim...... 37 Reasons for Yissurim...... 41 1. Yissurim out of love ...... 42 2. Yissurim as a test...... 45 3. Yissurim of Divine Vengeance ...... 49 4. Yissurim inspire a person to repent...... 50 5. Yissurim as atonement...... 52 Yissurim are custom-tailored...... 54 Atonement is conditional...... 58 6. Yissurim as liability for others...... 59 7. Yissurim to prepare for the Messianic Era...... 61 Identifying Messianic Era suffering...... 65 8. Suffering due to negligence...... 67 16 This Too Is For The Best
Accepting Yissurim...... 70 The secret of rejoicing over Yissurim...... 71 Accepting the Divine Judgment...... 73 Rejecting the Divine Judgment...... 75 Attributing adversities to coincidence...... 76 Doubting Divine Justice...... 77 Greatness of Yissurim...... 81
Practical Tips...... 98
Rejoicing over Yissurim...... 116 Foreword Suffering comes a little at a time...... 123 Substitutes for Yissurim...... 132 Repenting applies also to poor habits...... 148 By Rabbi Zev Leff Ascertaining the quality of our repentance...... 149 Morah D’asra of Moshav Matityahu, Israel Other benefits of repentance...... 150 A text for repentance...... 151 he Midrash1 relates that Moshe Rabbeinu said to Hash- Physical efforts (Hishtadlus)...... 158 em, “I sinned with the word ‘az’, -then, when I complained Approaching a Friend who is Suffering...... 183 ‘mei’az basi el Pharaoh’ — [I had complained that] from then, the time I came to Pharaoh, things had only become Judge him favorably...... 185 worse for the Jewish People. I will thus correct my sin with the word To Summarize...... 197 ‘az’,” as it says2 “az yashir Moshe” — then Moshe sang” (after the splitting of the Red Sea). Financial Problems...... 206 There are two difficulties in understanding this Midrash. Firstly, if we assume that Moshe Rabbeinu sinned by complaining, The Death of a Child...... 214 why is he not also taken to task for his complaints mentioned just one sentence earlier,3 “why have You done bad things to these people?”
1 Shemos Rabbah 23:3. 2 Shemos 15:1. 3 Shemos 5:22. 18 This Too Is For The Best Foreword 19
Secondly, when Moshe sang, he never mentioned the word ‘az’, “We established many marketplaces, built many bathhouses and rather it is the Torah which uses the word when narrating what Moshe amassed much gold and silver, all so that the Jewish People could oc- did – if so, how did Moshe in effect correct his sin? cupy themselves with Torah.” Hashem will respond: “Fools. The mar- To explain, we may begin with the Gemara.4 Moshe Rabbeinu ketplaces you established were for immoral purposes. The bathhouses asked Hashem: “Ribbono shel Olam, why do some tzaddikim pros- you built were for your own enjoyment. The gold and silver is Mine, as per and some suffer? Why do some wicked people prosper and it says, “Mine is the gold and Mine is the silver, says Hashem.” some suffer?” The Brisker Rav raises some questions on this Gemara. How could At first glance, Moshe’s questions seem puzzling. Of course, we the Romans have the audacity to lie so preposterously, claiming that ev- understand that he was troubled by why tzaddikim suffer and why erything they did was to enable the Jews to learn Torah? Nothing could the wicked prosper. But why was he also troubled about why the tzad- be further from the truth! Furthermore, if they lied, why does Hashem dikim prosper and why the wicked suffer? Isn’t this the way it should call them ‘fools’ and not ‘liars’? be? After all, the concept of reward and punishment is one of the basic Perhaps we can find the answer in the works of the Chovos Ha- tenets of our faith. Levovos. In Sha’ar HaBitachon he writes that although we have free Perhaps we can explain Moshe Rabbeinu’s questions in the follow- will, we cannot guarantee that we can bring our choices and plans to ing manner. The Telzer Rosh HaYeshiva, Rav Yosef Yehuda Leib Bloch,5 fruition. For example, a benefactor might decide to give a poor person writes that there is no shame in admitting ignorance, as we are all ig- a hundred dollars, write the check at night and intend to give it in norant of many things in this world. However, someone who chooses the morning. However, the benefactor may die overnight and not give the one thing that bothers him in order to question it, making it seem the check, or the poor person may die overnight. Alternatively, the that he understands everything else, is a fool. poor person can win the lottery and become rich, etc. There are many Moshe Rabbeinu was no fool. He therefore did not only ask about circumstances that can prevent this benefactor from actualizing his the issues that are obviously difficult, rather he admitted that he was choice. Therefore, our decisions (for better or for worse), are under ignorant of the full understanding of all the possibilities. Even the our control. Hashem alone decides the outcome of those decisions. fact that a tzaddik prospers is not fully grasped in its minute details. Indeed, we find this principle outlined in Mishlei:7 “Many thoughts are We will pursue the understanding of yissurim in this vein — even con- in the heart of man, but Hashem’s plan will endure.” cepts which are well-known have many details of which we remain A question arises — what is Hashem’s plan? Hashem’s plan ignorant. is to bring the world to its perfection, which will culminate when The Gemara6 relates that in the future, Hashem will (figuratively) Mashiach comes. The purpose of Mashiach, says the Rambam8, is to take a Sefer Torah in His arms and declare: “Whoever fulfilled what it enable the Jewish People to occupy themselves in Torah in the most says in here should come and claim his reward”. All the nations will ideal environment. then gather and Hashem will receive them one by one. The Romans With this in mind, we can understand the Romans’ claim to re- will enter first. When asked why they deserve a reward, they will reply, ward. When the Romans will look back over history, they will see that, incredibly, whatever Hashem permitted them to accomplish in this 4 Brachos 7a. 5 Shiurei Da’as, Nissim V’teva 2. 7 19:21, see the Malbim. 6 Avodah Zorah 2a. 8 Hilchos Melachim 12:4. 20 This Too Is For The Best Foreword 21 world fit into His plan of bringing the world to its perfection, enabling seem destructive. However, when the full picture will be completed we the Jewish People to be occupied with Torah. Therefore, they are not will see that everything that appeared to be damaging or unjust actu- ‘liars’ for saying that what they did was for the Jewish People. It was ally turned out to fit perfectly into the picture. It was ultimately good, the truth — part of Hashem’s plan. Nonetheless, they are called ‘fools’ in the broad perspective. to expect to be rewarded for it, as they never chose to help the Jewish Imagine that you enter a room and see a masked man wielding a People. Every marketplace and bathhouse they built was for their own knife ready to cut off someone’s leg. Deciding to be a hero, you remove selfish intentions. Hashem brought their plans to fruition as part of the masked terrorist and drag the intended victim to safety. Instead of His grand design to bring the world to perfection. thanking you, the victim looks up and cries, “Why did you take away my The bottom line is that all that happens is God’s will. We also surgeon? I have gangrene on my leg and need immediate surgery or else know that whatever Heaven does is for the good9. This leaves us with a I will die!” Seeing only a portion of the picture and not realizing its full perplexing enigma. How can we begin to understand how the evil acts dimensions made an act of mercy seem like an act of terrorism. of terrorists, murderers, etc. are for the good? The Gemara12 comments on the verse13 “Hashem will be King over Chana, in her song of thanksgiving10, said “There is no rock like the entire world, on that day Hashem will be one and His name one.” Isn’t Hashem.” The Gemara11 reveals a deeper meaning. “Do not read tzur, Hashem one now? Is His name not one already? The Gemara answers rock, but rather tzayar, artist.” that in this world, we recite the blessing Dayan Ha’Emes, God is the Rav Shraga Feivel Mendelovitz explains the quality of Hashem as an true judge, on bad tidings, and the blessing Hatov v’Hameitiv, God is artist with the following analogy: If one instructs a kindergarten child to good and bestows good, on good tidings; whereas in the Next World, draw a picture of a person, he’ll make a circle for the head, a line down for everything is good. Rabbi Yecheskel Landau, in his sefer, Tzlach,14 ex- the body, two lines on the sides for arms, and two lines down for legs. One plains that this does not mean that in the Next World there is only can discern exactly what the child’s intention is at every step. good, rather, when looking back on all that transpired in this world, By contrast, if Rembrandt were to paint the same picture, he we will see that it was all for the good. would first dab a black stroke, then a red stroke, etc. At first glance, With this principle in mind, we may understand the continuation these strokes appear unnecessary and even destructive. They are of the above Gemara: ruining the canvas. However, if someone questions the purpose of Rav Nachman Bar Yitzchak said that in this world we write Hash- these red and black strokes, Rembrandt will tell them to wait until em’s name ‘yud, kay, vav, kay’ and read it Adonay. In this world, we they see the completed picture. Then, they will see how the red are limited by time and do not grasp the total picture. We know that was needed for contrast, the black for shadow, etc. to enhance the everything is for the best, yet it contradicts what we see. We see black beauty of the picture. and red strokes. Therefore we write the name ‘yud, kay, vav, kay’ — Similarly, Hashem is in the process of painting a colossal picture, representing mercy, yet read it Adonay, relating to Divine Judgment, a panorama of history from Creation until the end of days. We only which is how we perceive it. This is alluded to in the spelling of Adonay see a fragment of that picture, the black and red strokes that at times — ‘alef, daled, nun, yud’. Alef represents Hashem at the beginning of
9 See Taanis 21a. 12 Pesachim 50a. 10 Shmuel 1 2:2. 13 Zechariah 14:9. 11 Brachos 10a. 14 Pesachim 50a d.h. v’amar. 22 This Too Is For The Best Foreword 23 time, when He was “one”. The yud at the end signifies the end of time. day they would be given a lengthy explanation to all these perplexing The many creations will unite under Hashem, represented by a yud, occurrences. However two words alone sufficiently answered all their the unit of ten. Sandwiched between the beginning and end of time questions: “I [am] Yosef.” With these words, everything became clear. are the letters daled and nun — spelling the word din — meaning Di- So too, when Hashem reveals Himself and His plan with the words “I vine Judgment. This represents how we, sandwiched in the middle of am Hashem,” the total picture will be clear and all questions will be an- time, perceive life. We observe things that appear damaging, the black swered at once. and red strokes. This is what our Sages meant by saying that in this My wife once asked me why the sedra of Mikeitz ends in such a world we write Hashem’s name ‘yud, kay, vav, kay’ and read it Adonay. peculiar manner, with Binyamin being accused of stealing the goblet On the other hand, in the next world Hashem’s name is written and the brothers in danger of being slaves. As the Rabbis were respon- and read the same way, because it represents Hashem beyond time: sible for breaking the Torah into parshios, why did they not try to end He was, is and always will be. In other words, this name represents the parashah on a positive note — which is the standard procedure?16 the world from the broadest point of view, looking at the complete They could have easily extended the sedra and ended it with Yosef’s picture. There is recognition that there are no contradictions and that revelation. We may answer based on the previously stated words of everything has a positive outcome — it is the name of Divine Mercy. the Chafetz Chaim, that the message inherent in this ending is that, Of this the (above) Gemara continues, “But, in the next world we will eventually, everything will be perceived as good, but you will not see write it and read it the same way, ‘yud, kay, vav, kay.’” it this week. One must have patience and wait until next week to see According to the Ksav Sofer, this is the deeper meaning of what the happy ending. Hashem answered Moshe Rabbeinu15: “You will see My back, but My face The Pardes Yosef17 tells the following story: A certain city was ex- you will not see.” When the world will reach its completion and you periencing difficult times. A tzaddik from that city, known for his -ex will look back in retrospect, there will be no questions. This is what is ceptionally potent prayers, lay on his deathbed. The Rav of the city ap- referred to as ‘Hashem’s back’. When looking ahead, one does not see proached him with a request. He asked that since he would soon pass the complete picture. Here, there can be no answers. This is referred into the next world, and tzaddikim are even greater after death than to as ‘My face.’ they were in life, would he please promise that upon entering the Next The Chafetz Chaim relates that based on the above idea, one would World, he will immediately beseech Hashem that the city be relieved think that when the world will have reached its completion and we will of its misfortune. The tzaddik died. Two weeks passed with no respite know that it was all for the best, it will take a long time to have all the — in fact, the misfortune got worse. Finally, the tzaddik appeared to difficult periods of history explained. There were inquisitions, pogroms, the confused Rav in a dream and told him that he could not pray for holocausts, etc. as well as personal trials and tribulations. However, says the misfortune to go away, because from his perspective in the Next the Chafetz Chaim, there is a precedent to the contrary. Ten brothers de- World, the misfortune was actually in the community’s best interest. scended to Egypt to innocently buy food during a famine. They were ac- This leads us to a serious question. If everything is ultimately for the cused of being spies and thrown into prison, before being sent home for good, then why, when misfortune comes, do we pray for it to go away? their little brother, found their money returned in their sacks, had their If we truly believe that everything is for the best, we should rejoice in it! brother accused of being a thief, etc. They probably thought that one 16 See Tosafos on Kesuvos 112b d.h. Asidin. See also Talmud Yerushalmi, Megillah Ch. 3 Halacha 7. 15 Shemos 32:23. 17 End of parshas Shemos. 24 This Too Is For The Best Foreword 25
Consider a patient examined by a doctor who determines that a Hence, a person can change his spiritual condition by a myriad serious, painful operation is necessary. The operation will definitely of possible factors — including prayer — to achieve the same posi- cure his patient, adding fifty happy, healthy years to his life. Avoid- tive result in a manner more pleasant than suffering. (Even though ing the operation would mean certain death. Even if the patient begs he brought suffering upon himself with his actions, behavior and free the doctor not to operate, so as not to experience the pain, the doc- choices.) He has ‘strengthened himself’ through prayer to get by with tor will ignore his request, knowing that the operation is in the pa- the medicine, instead of the operation.18 Therefore, we pray for mis- tient’s best interest. fortune to go away, since prayer changes our condition. Similarly, since all of our misfortune will have a positive outcome, This idea raises another question. If prayer changes the person’s why should we pray to have what we (mistakenly) believe is bad taken condition, and not God’s mind, how can one pray for someone else? away? The “doctor”— Hashem — knows better! One answer is that all Jews are interrelated,19 sharing one collec- An answer to this can be illustrated by slightly adjusting the tive, all-encompassing soul. A change in any part is in fact a change in above analogy. The doctor determines that the patient requires a the whole. Consequently, by praying for someone else, one indirectly serious operation that will save his life and give him an additional affects a change in that person. According to this concept, if one can fifty happy, healthy years. However, the doctor also knows that the effect an indirect change in another person that will bring results, operation is only necessary because the patient’s body is too weak to surely he can effect a direct change in his own self to bring about that integrate a bitter medicine that could accomplish the same results. same result in a stronger, faster manner. This can explain why Chazal He suggests that the patient exercise and strengthen his body, ren- say20 that one who needs something and prays for someone else who dering the painful operation unnecessary. The patient heeds the ad- needs a similar thing, is answered first. vice and exercises. The doctor re-examines the patient. He concludes Another explanation of how our tefillos can help others is based that his patient’s body is now sufficiently strong to be able to take on how Rav Yisroel Salanter expounds on the verse:21 “God is a rock the bitter medicine and cancels the operation. The doctor then in- whose actions are perfect, as all His ways are just...” He explains that structs the patient to exercise more to further strengthen his body, there is a gulf of a difference between Divine Justice and human jus- so that a sweet medicine can be substituted for the bitter one. The tice. Although humans can execute justice, it is limited to the object of patient does so, the doctor administers the sweet medicine and the the judgment. The collateral damage caused may not be just. For ex- person is cured. ample, when a court issues a verdict, a proper and just action may be The doctor has not changed his mind. He knew that in condition administered to the criminal (imprisonment, etc.), yet the collateral X, the operation is necessary and good for the patient. In condition Y, damage caused may not be just. His wife and children stand to suf- the bitter medicine is effective and the operation unnecessary, and in fer greatly from his incarceration, notwithstanding their innocence. condition Z, the sweet medicine can be substituted for the bitter one. In the human justice system people innocent of the crime also stand It is the patient’s condition that has changed. This is prayer. Tefillah — l’hispallel — is reflexive, says Rav Sham- 18 This may explain the custom on Rosh HaShana to wish each other a good and sweet New Year. Every year is good no matter how difficult it may seem, but not every good is sweet. shon Refael Hirsch. It does not change Hashem’s ‘mind’ but rather We wish the year to be overtly good — a good and sweet new year. changes the person’s condition. It’s like spiritual exercise (perhaps 19 See Shavuos 39a. that’s why we “shuckel” when we pray!). 20 Bava Kama 92b. 21 Devarim 32:4. 26 This Too Is For The Best Foreword 27 to be ‘punished.’ In contrast, when Hashem metes out justice, all col- vision as God wants us to see them — tragic and mournful. In fact, lateral damage is taken into consideration. Hence, if it is decreed that this is part of what will bring about the eternal good. Sometimes, our Reuven get sick (because he needs this for his soul’s eternal good) and souls need to cry, mourn, sympathize and empathize to reach per- as a result, Reuvens wife and children will be affected and pained, fection. Relative to our limited scope, these emotions have validity. Hashem will not decree sickness on Reuven until his wife, children However, when one makes the blessing Dayan HaEmes, he should (and anyone else negatively affected) truly deserve the yissurim that realize that the mourning is not in vain. It serves an eternally posi- come as a consequence. The Heavenly Tribunal acts only after all of tive purpose from the broader point of view. One recites the blessing the affected parties have been accounted for.22 with satisfaction, knowing that ultimately, this too, is for the good. With this in mind, we can explain how a person who prays for The meaning of Dayan HaEmes is not “the true Judge” but rather “the someone else can change the entire situation. Take Reuven, who feels Judge of truth.” There is only one eternal truth and Hashem judges for his suffering friend Shimon and prays for him. In the merit of this the manner in which it will be realized; sometimes sweet and pleas- mitzvah (praying for Shimon), Reuven may no longer deserve to suf- ant, and sometimes bitter and painful. fer as a result of Shimon’s sickness. This, in turn, will serve as a cata- Now we can return to the Midrash we began with. By asking “Why lyst to Shimon’s speedy recovery, as it says, “God is a rock whose actions have You done bad things to these people?” Moshe Rabbeinu did not com- are perfect, as all His ways are just.” All collateral damage is considered. mit a sin. When misfortune occurs, one must question the purpose. There is another difficulty regarding the concept that everything Why is this suffering necessary? Where do I need to improve? As the is for the best. Why is it that even when a situation is final, we still Rabbis tell us,23 if suffering befalls a person, he should investigate and mourn the misfortune? Take a person’s death, which leaves no alter- correct his deeds. Moshe did not question Hashem with the word natives, nothing to do. Why do we mourn over what was surely for madua — why (intellectually) is this happening? Rather, he used the the best? In fact, the Ramban says that one who does not mourn is word lamah — what is the purpose of this happening? So, this verse considered a cruel person. was not the sin. Perhaps the explanation is that we often function on two di- But then he made the statement “mei’az basi el Pharaoh.” mensions: absolute truth and relative truth. A halachic example is Meaning, ever since then, when I went to Pharaoh, things only got the fact that every cubic centimeter of air is occupied by thousands worse for the people. Moshe Rabbeinu isolated a moment in time, of microorganisms. When magnified a million times by an electron failing to put it into the eternal perspective, as one must do. That microscope, they appear to be living, monsterlike creatures. They are was his sin. certainly not kosher, yet there is no problem ingesting them since we Moshe rectified this sin by singing his song of joy for the events approach halacha according to our five senses. Since these organisms at the splitting of the Red Sea. He did not sing for that isolated mo- are invisible to the naked eye, they are considered halachically non- ment of good alone. Rather, as the Torah itself testifies, writing yashir, existent — even though they definitely do exist. In other words, we will sing — in the future tense, until the resurrection of the dead — abide by the relative truth. he viewed that az, that moment, in the viewpoint of eternity. He put So too, even though in absolute eternal reality everything is for the moment into an eternal picture and sang from that perspective, the good, we must relate to incidents that we see with our limited thereby correcting his original flaw.
22 See also Pele Yoetz, Erech B’chiah. 23 See Brachos 5b. 28 This Too Is For The Best
Rabbi Yerachmiel Moskoff has presented a comprehensive study of how suffering can contribute towards the ongoing well-being of the individual as well as the Jewish People as a whole. His presentation is lucid, thorough, interesting, informative and inspiring. He has truly created an impressive work that will effectively enable one to better understand this very difficult issue. I commend Rabbi Moskoff on his effort and on his contribution to the furtherance of Torah knowledge and observance by strengthening one’s faith. May Hashem grant him and his family a sweet and pleas- ant life to continue to be able to merit the community with further Torah works. Sincerely, Acknowledgments Rabbi Zev Leff Moshav Matityahu, Israel Adar 5773 his sefer has been made possible due to the contributions of many people. They have given of their time and lent their talents. Without their quality contributions this work would not have been. I therefore wish to express my sincere gratitude towards them: First and foremost, the Ribbono Shel Olam. No words can justly express what He has done for me. Yisborach Shmoi Lo-ad ul - Ohlmai uhlamim. My esteemed and honored Rav, Rabbi Moshe Mordechai Karp Shlita, who apart from being an incredible role model, has directed me in a myriad of matters with his sage wisdom and kindness. My dear wife, Rochel Bracha, for taking such great care of the fam- ily and enabling me to write works such as these, and for offering im- portant advice. My parents and in laws and my brothers, Jeff and Hirschel. They reviewed the manuscript and offered valuable practical advice and comments. Particular mention to Hirschel who did not leave a stone uncovered. He had a great impact on this project. Rabbi Zev Leff, for taking of his precious time to review the man- uscript and write the foreword. 30 This Too Is For The Best
Rabbi Yehudah Aryeh Cohen, for allowing me to be part of his outstanding Kollel. He provides a stimulating and vibrant Torah at- mosphere, from which this work amongst many others has sprout- ed. Rabbi Yosef Zaltsman, Rabbi A. L. Kahn and Yehuda and Miriam Goldberg, for opening up their doors to allow me to deliver shiurim, which formed the roots from which this sefer grew. The entire team at Mosaica Press. A deep thanks to Rabbi Doron Kornbluth, who was the chief editor. With his gifted pen he rendered the sefer to be smooth reading, interesting, informative and fitting for a wide audience of people. Special mention to Rabbi Yaacov Haber for ac- cepting the sefer as part of the Mosaica Press ‘family.’ He allowed me to benefit from his efficient and professional staff, which carefully shaped and molded the manuscript down to the minute details. Preface Rabbi Moshe Armel who translated the original Hebrew work and made many acute and valuable suggestions. My good friend, Reb Moshe Tsvi Schaumer, who has been a won- t is clear to most of us that after our lives in this world are derful source of encouragement in this project, among others. completed, what awaits us is the pleasure of a perfect and All of the people who so generously made donations towards the eternal world, with our level of reward commensurate to our editing and publishing of this work. efforts to keep the Torah and mitzvos. The Ramchal24 writes, May Hashem bless all of them with many happy years filled with “Man was created specifically to enjoy God and to enjoy from Torah and yiras Shomayim, perfection in character and good deeds, vi- the radiance of His Presence, for this is the only true joy and the great- brant health and true peace. Amen. est pleasure of all the pleasures one may find, Man was created and the place where this pleasure can be expe- Rabbi Yerachmiel Emmanuel HaKohen Moskoff for pleasure rienced is truthfully only in the Next World.” Kiryat Sefer, Modiin Illit. Torah Jews understand this idea about the fu- Shvat, 5773 ture world, at least on an intellectual level. What is not so well-known or understood is what the Torah promises in this world to the Torah Jew, and that is serenity. As it states,25 “If you listen to Me, you shall For comments and question, please contact me at dwell with tranquility.” Rashi26 explains that the serenity promised is [email protected]. concerning one’s stay in this world.
24 Mesilas Yesharim, Ch. 1. 25 Mishlei 1:33. 26 Rashi, ad loc. See Metzudos Dovid to translate ‘betach’ as lack of mental distress, i.e. calmness. 32 This Too Is For The Best Preface 33
Consider the promise just men- not fear an evil report.” It is not written, “He shall not hear an evil re- Our history has tioned. How do you understand it? We port,” for that would suggest that no suffering would ever befall him, been so filled with see with our own eyes the many pains which is not realistic. Rather, the verse writes, “He shall not fear an suffering… where is and troubles of daily life — even for evil report,” meaning that even when bad news arrives, he will not be the blessing? those who completely adhere to the To- distressed because he knows that all Hashem does is for the best. rah. Indeed, throughout ancient and modern Jewish history, it seems This is a critical lesson: There is a positive side to suffering. As we there has been much suffering borne by Torah observant Jews. If so, will learn, the travails of life are a catalyst to perfection; they polish where are all the blessings of this world? the soul and deliver inestimable reward. One way to approach this question can be understood with the A person who appreciates this concept The Chazon Ish said, following Gemara:27 will not only accept suffering when it “There is no sadness comes his way, but he will embrace it, as in the world for one “It once happened that Hillel the Elder was walking on the one who has found a great treasure. who is familiar with way, and he heard the sound of wailing from his town. He We now understand the above-quot- the brilliant light of said, ‘I am sure that [the wailing] is not emanating from my ed verse, “If you listen to Me, you shall the Truth” house.’ Regarding him, the verse is written,28 ‘He shall not fear dwell with tranquility.” The verse is not an evil report; his heart steadfastly trusts in Hashem.’” meant as a guarantee that a Torah observant Jew will have a life TheShlah 29 quotes the Tefilah LeMoshe who asks a pointed question without adversity, which we know is simply not true. The verse is on this Gemara: How was Hillel the Elder so confident that there was stating that a Torah observant Jew will dwell with calmness, and no suffering in his house? After all, it is impossible to be completely he will have a life permeated with serenity despite life’s challenges free of sin (albeit minute), and with sin comes suffering as atonement. due to his deep understanding that all that happens brings with it His answer is life-changing. Certainly, even the great Hillel expe- manifold benefits.30 rienced difficulties in life. However, Hillel had a special attitude to- Superficial knowledge that “Gam Zu LeTovah” is not enough to wards his suffering. He accepted them face the challenges of life. Deep understanding is necessary, particu- Hillel instructed willingly and was thankful for the atone- larly in our days as suffering is an inevitable part of our daily lives. We his family to look ment they brought. He likewise trained find written in the Sefer HaYoshar,31 “This world is a house of troubles. at difficulties in a his household to look at whatever tra- If today passes without suffer- positive light vails they may have in a positive light. Saying Gam Zu LeTova ing, then tomorrow it will come, Therefore, when he heard cries of pain, generally doesn’t change and if not tomorrow, surely with- Hillel knew without a doubt that they were not coming from his one’s life; understanding in the month.” Our times espe- house. Even if a tragedy had occurred to his family, they never would it and living it does, cially are prone to suffering as we have broken down crying. This is why the Gemara explains, “He shall therefore the need for this live in the times preceding the work eminent arrival of Mashiach. 27 Brachos 60a. 28 Tehillim 112:7. 30 See more about this in Chovos HaLevavos, Shaar Habitachon. 29 Asara Maamaros 5:4. 31 Shaar 6. 34 This Too Is For The Best Preface 35
Rebbi Yochanan said,32 “If you see a generation in which difficulties As is the case in any translation, many of the nuances of the original flow like a river, wait for him [Mashiach]…” language are lost. This applies all the more so to an adaptation. How wonderful it would be if the subject of suffering is explored It must also be mentioned that when dealing with the words of and clarified in one place in order to help us achieve a deeper level of our holy Sages in particular, there are often several lessons implied understanding of this important aspect of our lives. One who has a firm in a single statement. In a translation, usually only one of them is grasp of this will surely be able to travel the hills and valleys of life with brought to light. To try and compensate for this, I have quoted the a great inner calm and will be a beacon for others to learn from. sources, facilitating the reader to research the source material him- Hence the compilation of this work. With Hashem’s help, after self, and thus derive the greatest possible benefit from the wisdom much research of Torah sources over the course of many years, im- of our Sages. proved through dozens of seminars to a range of audiences, this sefer has been put to print. The various types of suffering have been cat- egorized, together with an explanation of their root causes. Some of the vast storehouses of goodness that accrue from yissurim are clari- fied together with practical tips on how to look at them, to follow the example of Hillel. The reader will find himself equipped not only to successfully overcome some of life’s greatest challenges, but also to help and console others in their times of pain. Similarly, as a result of his en- hanced understanding of Hashem’s merciful ways, he will grow in his love for God. However, in order to derive the greatest possible benefit from this work, it is advisable to learn it only a little bit at a time, as opposed to reading it all in one sitting. There are many concepts mentioned which are not so well-known, and therefore, in order to be able to “digest” them properly, a slower approach is recommended. A few words concerning the translation of the Hebrew texts: Over the course of translating these texts, it became obvious that a literal translation would simply not do. Apart from not reading well, the message being expressed became altered and sometimes even ob- scured. I therefore found it necessary not only to translate, but also to adapt the texts into English, thus enabling the reader to grasp the essence of what our Sages were teaching, while keeping the sefer eas- ily understood and pleasant to read. This has disadvantages as well.
32 Sanhedrin 98a. -1- What are “Yissurim?”
ne of the most commonly found words used in the To- rah to describe pain and suffering is “yissurim.” No wonder it has a negative connotation. However, after studying the sources it emerges that the word yissurim is actually a most positive and uplifting term! We will learn that yissurim harbor If understood untold blessings. In order to gain an ap- correctly, “yissurim” preciation of this, one must first iden- is not a negative term tify what yissurim are.
Types of Yissurim All yissurim can be classified under two general categories: physi- cal and emotional. 38 This Too Is For The Best What are “Yissurim?” 39
Physical Yissurim: yy Minor inconveniences — including such annoyances as ordering clothes that do not fit, a hot meal that was served cold or even Anything that causes even the smallest physical discomfort or pulling out the wrong coin from one’s pocket.43 pain.33 For example: yy Illness — including major disease and Physical yissurim quick to anger. The Meiri (Yevamos 63a) writes as follows: suffering, as well as the flu, fever, head- include sickness, When looking for a woman to marry, a man should always be sure to inquire after her char- aches, etc.34 acter; is she particular about everything and quick to anger, or is she pleasant and peace- disease, etc. yy Pregnancy and childbirth.35 loving? There is nothing more bitter in this world than a difficult woman. As if asking a riddle, Rav said as he took leave of R’ Chiyya, “May the Merciful One spare you from that 36 yy Bumps and scratches, even stubbing one’s toe. which is harsher than death!” R’ Chiyya pondered, “Is there really anything more harsh yy Inclement weather, such as uncomfortable heat or cold.37 than death?” He then discovered a verse, “I have found a woman more bitter than death” (Koheles 7:26). Emotional Yissurim: If it is a man’s lot to be married to such a woman however, he should tolerate her as much as he is able and leave room for making peace. It is said of Rav that his wife was difficult Anything that causes emotional pain or mental anguish. For example: and made a habit of making him suffer. If he would ask of her, “Make me tilphichi,” she y would make him chimtzi (a different type of legume). And if he would ask of her “make me y Bereavement — the loss of a family chimtzi,” she would make him tilphichi. Thus it was with everything. When Chiyya grew up, Emotional yissurim member, beloved friend, mentor, a tzad- he began switching his father’s request. That is, if his father wanted chimtzi, he would tell include bereavement, dik or the loss of any other individual his mother that his father wanted tilphichi. When his father saw that he was being served just what he asked for, he asked his son, “Has your mother improved her ways?” Chiyya 38 difficulties of raisng a that causes one to feel pain. said, “I’m responsible; I told Mother the opposite.” Meaning, she remained adamantly re- family, etc. yy Financial loss or damage to one’s bellious towards her husband, but Chiyya had reversed his request. property.39 Rav was pleased with the intelligence of his son, but he told him to discontinue the prac- tice, for it is written, “They have taught their tongues to speak falsely.” Though it may be 40 yy Hardships of raising a family, verbal abuse — having received true that the Gemara (Yevamos 65b) permits altering the truth for the sake of peace, this is hurtful words of insult or reprimand.41 only if it is meant to avert a disaster. “But I know,” Rav said, “that I am capable of tolerat- ing her misdeeds and will not be insulted. Therefore, it is better that she remain rebellious, y 42 y A difficult spouse. rather than you accustoming yourself to speak falsehood.” Thus we see, Rav tolerated his wife and left room for making peace. Still greater is what 33 Cf. Erechin 16b, Rashi, ad loc., s.v. was said of R’ Chiyya, whose wife also used to cause him suffering. Despite this, when he 34 Cf. Brachos 5b. would find something to buy for his wife that he thought she would appreciate, he would 35 Cf. Rashi on Bereishis 3:16; Eiruvin 100b, Rashi, ad loc. purchase it and wrap it in his kerchief, as the commoners would do, and bring it to her with 36 Cf. Pele Yoetz, Erech ‘Yissurim’, “Every variety of pain combines into one large sum.” affection. His students asked, “But she makes the master suffer!?” He replied, “It is enough 37 Cf. Midrash Aggadah (Buber) on Bereishis 8:22, “Cold and heat are types of suffering, that our wives raise our children and save us from sin,” [that is, from forbidden thoughts]. for sometimes discomfort is caused by the cold, and sometimes discomfort is caused And if you find that your wife is easily appeased, then all the more so is it most appropriate by the heat.” to tolerate her shortcomings and let the benefits [of being married to her] outweigh the 38 Cf. Rashi to Brachos 5b. difficulties. 39 Ibid. 5b, 58b. Rebbi Yitzchak taught R’ Yehudah his son, “‘I have found a woman more bitter than death’ 40 See Sanhedrin 19b with Rashi. — this refers to a woman like your mother.” But then he would also teach him, “‘No man 41 Cf. Tomer Devorah, Ch. 2., citing the Arizal; Shlah, Shaar HaOsiyos, Letter Ayin. See Mishlei finds satisfaction in any woman other than his first wife’ — as with your mother.” When 18:8 with the commentary of the Vilna Gaon, that hurting words can be more damaging his son asked about the apparent contradiction, Rebbi Yitzchak replied, “She is explosive, than physical abuse. but she can be appeased with a word.” 42 Eiruvin 41b: “Three will never see the face of Gehinom: the poverty stricken, sufferers of 43 Cf. Erechin 16b. Rabbi Chaim Vital similarly writes in his acclaimed work Shaarei Kedusha intestinal illness and those suffering aggravation from their creditors. Some add: even one (Shaar 2, Ch. 8) “Every type of suffering brings atonement, even finding one’s shirt inside- whose wife is difficult.” Menoras HaMeor explains this as a reference to a woman who is out, and needing to turn it right-side out.” 40 This Too Is For The Best
yy An upsetting dream.44 Yissurim include any pain yy Anguish suffered as a or suffering whatsoever, result of participation whether physical or mental, in a communal need. even minor inconveniences The Steipler Gaon45 qualify writes that anyone who gets involved with the needs of the community will certainly have much pain and anguish. In the merit of this suffering, these people merit much success, for “according to the pain is the reward.” Although we have placed yissurim into different categories (physi- -2- cal and emotional), they are not mutually exclusive. Take poverty,46 for instance: In addition to the physical pain of cold and hunger, the im- poverished person also bears despondency and humiliation.47 Indeed, Reasons for Yissurim the two categories often overlap.
here’s an age-old question: Why do (good) people suffer? Although human beings cannot possibly un- derstand the way Hashem “thinks” or know conclu- sively the reasons He decided a person must suffer, nonetheless, the Torah reveals many of the secrets as to why a person experiences pain. One who grasps these secrets will find himself highly enlightened, as he has an added dimension of in- sight as to why people suffer. In general, there are at least seven reasons why the Heavenly court might decree yissurim. Let us explore this in- There are many triguing subject. reasons for yissurim The reasons for yissurim:
1. Out of Divine Love. 44 Cf.Brachos 55b, Rashi ad loc. 2. As a test. 45 Krayna D’Igresa, v. 1 §95. 3. As a result of Divine Vengeance. 46 Cf. Chagigah 9b. 47 Cf. Maharsha, ad loc., “Poverty is an all-encompassing class of suffering. That is why the 4. To spur a person to repent. Torah compares it to a smelting furnace, which purifies metal from all types of impurities.” 5. As an atonement for one’s misdeeds. 42 This Too Is For The Best Reasons for Yissurim 43
6. As liability for others. on account of his generation’s transgressions wipes away the judgment 7. As a preparation for the Messianic Era. from the Jewish People as a whole.”52 In other words, it is possible for a person to suffer for no fault of his own, but rather as atonement for It is important to note that a person can bring suffering upon the sins of others in his generation. One example of this occurred in himself as a result of negligence. This is common. Such suffering the days of Dovid HaMelech.53 Hashem sent an angel of destruction is not considered yissurim, as will be elaborated upon at the end of to smite the inhabitants of Yerushalayim, but reconsidered: “He said this chapter. to the angel that was destroying the people, ‘Enough! Now hold back your hand.’” Rebbi Elazar, in the Gemara, explains:54 “Hashem said 1. Yissurim out of love to the angel, ‘I favor [taking one of] their leaders; for [his death] can settle many debts’. At that time, Avishai son of Tzruya passed away, As mentioned in the preface, a person’s troubles can be due whose stature equaled more than half of the Sanhedrin.”55 to previous sins. However, this is not always the case. Our Sages We have seen that a tzaddik can receive yissurim to atone for his teach:48 If one has thoroughly reviewed his actions and his character generation. How does this work? The Ramchal, in Derech Hashem,56 and cannot find any infraction in deed or blemish in character to addresses the issue: attribute as a reason for his hardship, then he can assume that his yissurim were sent “out of love.” In other words, Hashem might send The Sages teach57 that all of the Jewish People are ac- a person yissurim, even if the person has done no wrong. This seems countable for one another. This means that the Jewish most puzzling. To make someone suffer for nothing? And to call it People are innately connected spiritually one to another. “Divine Love”? If one person does a transgression, others can also be sub- Rashi49 helps us understand this difficult concept: “Hashem ject to bear the consequences as a result of this. On the makes him go through yissurim in this world, though he has not other hand, the Sages also have informed us that the at- sinned, in order to increase his reward in the World to Come — more tribute of goodness is always stronger than the attribute than what he deserved for his merits.” Hashem sends the tzaddik of strict justice. As this is the case, it follows that just as suffering out of His love for him to increase his portion in the World someone can be held accountable for the sins of his fellow to Come, beyond what he would otherwise deserve. However, fur- man, then all the more so someone can enjoy the bless- ther reflection is needed. How does this man’s pain in this world ings and bounty of the good deeds of his fellow man. It increase his reward — beyond his merits — in the eternal world? emerges from here, that one can have a situation where What is the connection? yissurim are visited upon one tzaddik, and that this will One way to explain this can be found in what the Sages teach,50 accomplish atonement for his entire generation … [and in “The righteous are held accountable for the sins of their generation.” 51 The Shomer Emunim explains: “The suffering that a tzaddik endures 52 See also, Shlah HaKadosh, Asara Maamaros, Ma’amar Chamishi, §7. 53 Shmuel 2 Ch. 24. 48 cf. Brachos 5a. s.v. yissurim; cf. Bava Metzia 85a. 54 Brachos 62b. 49 Brachos 5a. 55 See another example of this concept in Melachim 1:22:17. 50 Shabbos 33b, Kesuvos 8b. 56 Derech Hashem 2:3:8. 51 HaKadmon, one of the great Kabbalists of the times of the Achronim. 57 Shavuos 39a. 44 This Too Is For The Best Reasons for Yissurim 45
the merit of accepting this hardship,] the tzaddik himself It is important to note that “yissurim of love” only happen to very also attains great levels.58 holy people — those who haven’t even a blemish of sin, as we find above in the words of Rashi. As this is the case, ‘regular’ people should To summarize, since all of the souls of the Jewish People are inti- not attribute their yissurim to “yissurim of love,” but rather to one of mately connected, one person can atone for the sins of another. By ex- the other reasons listed. tension, the pain of a righteous individual Yissurim of love come can sometimes atone for the entire gener- to the righteous in ation. Accordingly, as a result of having 2. Yissurim as a test order to atone for the facilitated such atonement, the merits of There are cases where yissurim are sent as a test. An example generation and give this person are greatly increased. of this is the story of the Binding of Yitzchak where the Torah them more merit These are deep and noble concepts, states,60 “And God tested Avraham.” Avraham Avinu understood yet one more thing is still left to be under- that he was required to offer up his son as a sacrifice. This would stood. As we learned, Rashi explains that the tzaddik receives reward be a nearly impossible challenge for any parent. For Avraham, the beyond his merit. Why? It would seem that he does, in fact, merit the epitome of mercy and kindness, it was an even more formidable reward as a result of his suffering! The Ben Ish Chai explains:59 task. As is well-known, Avraham passed this test with flying col- ors.61 However, he was not alone in being tested. All of the Avos If a man is perfectly righteous, then with the hardship and Imahos underwent great tests, as one sees when reviewing he suffers he can spare the Jewish People … from immi- Chumash Bereishis. Similarly, Iyov had a great test, and the list nent suffering, granting them a stay of Divine Wrath to goes on. allow time for repentance and other mitzvos. The tzaddik It is clear that the tzaddikim are tested. Why? can then claim a stake in the reward of the repentance Our Sages62 offer the following par- and good deeds that the Jewish People subsequently per- able: When the farmer knows the flax is Why does God test formed as a result of the stay of judgment given them … strong, he strikes it repeatedly, to make the righteous? This is what Rashi meant when he wrote, “in order to in- it soft and fine. The lesson: Hashem only crease his reward in the World to Come more than what tests a great person who will remain strong and righteous, for if he he deserved for his merits.” withstands the test he will become even greater. Such were the holy A spellbinding explanation! Since the suffering of the tzaddik Patriarchs and Matriarchs of our people, who withstood the tests brings about a time of respite for the Jewish People, he takes part they faced. in the reward of all of the mitzvos performed due to that respite — When passing a test, a person becomes greater. There remains an thereby greatly increasing his reward, well beyond his own individ- important question to be addressed: Why does Hashem need to test ual merits. the righteous? Doesn’t Hashem already know the outcome, as it is
60 Bereishis 22:1. 58 See also Ramchal, Da’as Tevunos Sect. 166 where he explains a deeper esoteric reason why 61 Avraham in fact faced ten such tests during the course of his lifetime. See Avos 5:3 with the the righteous suffer without having sinned. commentary of the Rambam for a description of the tests. 59 Ben Yehoyada on Brachos 5a. 62 Bereishis Rabbah 32:3. 46 This Too Is For The Best Reasons for Yissurim 47 written,63 “The hidden things are Hashem’s”? There are, at least, three done cannot be compared to what the second tailor ac- answers to this question: tually accomplished.
1. Tests actualize potential and thus increase reward Thus, just as the second tailor justly deserves more than the first for the extra efforts he invested, so too, the person who endures a test The Ramban explains64 that although Hashem certainly knows merits more rewards, as his potential was brought into reality. how each individual will perform during their tests, still, the reward we receive for what we actually do is far greater than the reward due 2. Tests publicize a tzaddik’s greatness to us for what we potentially ‘would’ do. The Menoras Hamaor65 explains that Hashem tests tzaddikim in Thus, even though Hashem fully knows the future and thus knows that order to publicize to others some of their true greatness. Sometimes, a tzaddik will certainly withstand his tests, He will nevertheless test the we know someone is special but do not quite appreciate just to what tzaddik in order to increase his reward in the Next World — for now he is extent. In such cases, Hashem sometimes tests the tzaddik, to reveal being rewarded for a reality, not merely a potential. For added clarity, let’s to others a facet of greatness that was until now unrecognized. Take consider the following scenario: the following true story for an example.66 Once there was a king who wished to have a new royal Rabbi Simcha Wasserman was in the hospital for his last and final robe. In his kingdom, there were two capable tailors. visit. His days were numbered. The hospital staff recognized that He hired both of them to work together and sew the this was not just another patient. They robe. Both would be paid gener- Tests bring potential saw they were dealing with a man of After weathering a ously for their work. They began into reality. great stature. How did they know? They test, one gains a new, their work immediately, cutting, saw how even though death hovered deeper appreciation trimming and stitching. Unfortunately, after just a few but a few hours away (as was obvious to of a Rav hours, the first tailor took ill, and the second tailor was all present including Rabbi Wasserman left to finish the royal robe by himself. When it came himself), nonetheless his total concern was dedicated exclusively time to get paid, the king was informed as to what had for the welfare of his visitors, offering them words of consolation happened. The king paid the first tailor commensurate and encouragement. The staff was spellbound. Behavior of this to the amount of work he had done, and so too he paid nature by a man on his deathbed could only be made possible by the second tailor. There was a vast difference between a person who cultivated and perfected his character throughout the salaries. the course of his entire life. It made a deep and lasting impression. Now, the king certainly knew that the first tailor was prevented from working through no fault of his One can sometimes know a special Rav or Talmid Chochom, but own. He certainly had the potential to do his part in its once he bears witness to a great test that he endured, his appreciation entirety; nevertheless, what the first tailor could have of the righteous person grows, sometimes to no bounds.
63 Devarim 29:28. 65 Ner 5 Klal 3 Ch. 3. 64 Shaar HaGemul Ch. 2. 66 cited by Rabbi Noach Orlowek, My Disciple, My Child, introduction. 48 This Too Is For The Best Reasons for Yissurim 49
3. Tests provide an example to be learned from 3. Yissurim of Divine Vengeance TheChovos HaLevavos writes 67 that the travails of a test are meant Regarding the destruction of the wicked town of Sodom, the To- to teach others a lesson. A tzaddik facing a test teaches two lessons: rah writes,71 “I shall descend, therefore, and see, if it is indeed like the cries that come to Me, then they (the angels of destruction) will 1. He does not lose his faith despite the difficult circumstances he faces. perform demolition, but if not, I shall know.” Rashi explains that if 2. He shows how it is possible to serve Hashem with joy, in spite they remain steadfast in their rebelliousness — Hashem shall cause of his situation. destruction to befall them, but if they back down from their rebel- The following true story proves this point:68 liousness, Hashem will not destroy them —rather He shall send them yissurim. Consider carefully the implications of what is being said: if The late Rosh Yeshiva of the Mir, Rabbi Nachum Partzovits, they do not change, they will be destroyed. In other words, there is a who suffered for many years from physical frailty and illness, type of suffering meant to eliminate evil from the world — yissurim never once complained about his dif- of vengeance. This is brought into sharp focus in the writings of the Tests provide a ficult situation. He tried with all his Shlah,72 “There is suffering that comes upon a person from Hashem healthy example for strength to ignore his suffering. When to avenge. When a person has become despicable in the eyes of his others to follow those close to him visited, they were Creator, He sends upon him suffering in order to destroy this evil and always greeted with his characteristically pleasant and shin- eliminate him from the world...” ing countenance. One visiting student drew up the courage to To be the target of Hashem’s vengeance is just about the worst- ask the Rosh Yeshiva how he was able to show such a pleasant case scenario possible. But how can one know? Is there a way to iden- face even as the pain was quite intense. The Rabbi explained tify this type of yissurim? The answer is, yes. One indication is if the that he conducted himself according to the Rosh Yeshiva of suffering descends swiftly and strongly, in one fell blow, and is unre- Lomza, Rabbi Yechiel Mordechai Gordon, who said, “A per- lenting — as we find in the example cited concerning the destruction son’s face is akin to a public place, and the law states that it is of the inhabitants of Sodom. forbidden for one to dig a pit in a public thoroughfare.” Furthermore, an average Torah Jew should not ever assume that Note: Although life abounds with tests, big ones and small ones his yissurim are of this kind. The reason for this is that we find stated 73 alike, there are special tests of gigantic proportion that Hashem sends concerning the people of Sodom, “And the people of Sodom were tzaddikim, as is written in Tehillim,69 “Hashem tests His righteous evil, and sinned greatly to Hashem.” Rashi explains, “They were evil ones.” Therefore, a regular Torah Jew should not attribute his yissurim — [they did evil] with their bodies, and sinned — with their money, to this category.70 greatly to Hashem — they knew their Master and intentionally re- belled against Him.” In other words, this type of suffering is reserved only for the utterly evil. This is also implied in the words of Rabbeinu 67 Shaar HaBitachon, Ch. 3. 68 cited in Orchos Chasidecha, p. 181. 69 11:5. 71 Bereishis 18:21. 70 We similarly find this point made in Shaarei Teshuvah 4:13, and Ramban in Shaar HaGemul 72 Maamar 5 of the Asara Maamaros. Ch. 2. 73 Bereishis 13:13. 50 This Too Is For The Best Reasons for Yissurim 51
Yona brought above, who describes those who suffer destruction as materialistic lures which blur the correct vision of this being “the enemies of Hashem.” Indeed, the Vilna Gaon in his commen- world and what it affords. However, once he finds himself tary on Mishlei,74 says explicitly that the average person should not engulfed in yissurim, he is no longer seduced by material- assume that his yissurim are those of vengeance.75 ism, and begins to see the world in the light of truth…
According to the Ran’s insight, in normal circumstances, only a 4. Yissurim inspire a person to repent person who is blinded by temporal pleasures and ignores Hashem’s There is another type of yissurim whose purpose is to arouse a per- will needs to undergo this type of yissurim. It seems, therefore, that son to reflect upon his deeds and to repent for his sins, as is written,76 one who is constantly reviewing his actions and improving them will “You humble a man and say, ‘Repent, sons of man.’” be (largely or completely) exempted from yissurim of this nature — as Our Sages say,77 “If a man sees that he is suffering, he should in- their function of motivating repentance has already been filled. spect his deeds.” The Shaarei Teshuvah states:78 “The rebuke of Hash- Interestingly, yissurim to inspire repentance are not restricted to em…is meant to remind a person to re- one’s own personal suffering. Even witnessing someone else’s yissurim One of the most pent from his evil ways…” Even the evil is meant to motivate one to take heed and common reasons for 81 One person’s yissurim King Menashe, who ignored the lessons repent. The Sages teach in the Gemara, yissurim is to inspire can inspire another and role modeling of his father, the righ- “Rebbi Elazar said: Calamity only comes repentance person to repent teous King Chizkiyahu, finally repented upon the world for the sake of the Jew- 82 — but only when he was “visited” with yissurim.79 ish People, as it is written, ‘I have cut off We see, therefore, there is a type of yissurim whose purpose is to the nations, their towers are abandoned, subdue a person in order to bring him to reconsider his deeds and I have destroyed their marketplaces.’ And it is written: ‘I have said, repent. However, we must ask an honest question here: Is there no “Would that you (the Jewish People) but fear Me and take the lesson.”’ other way of motivating a person to repent? Why does Hashem need Rashi explains: “For the sake of the Jewish People — to make them to send yissurim? The Ran explains:80 fear, so they will repent.” The Ran explains at greater length:83 When a man is in a state of tranquility, he does not rec- ognize nor seek to know why he was created. This is due Sometimes calamity strikes in distant places and islands. to the fact that he is faced with a constant barrage of The purpose for this is to arouse the Jewish People to re- pent, that they should see and become afraid lest they suf- 74 3:11-12. 75 Based upon the above, we may gain a possible explanation of a cataclysmic event. In the fer the same lot … but when they fail to become moved year 2004 a seismic tremor set off a tsunami wave which flooded the coastal areas of Thai- upon witnessing such things, the calamities continue, land. The entire world bore witness to the destruction of almost 300,000 people in the drawing closer and closer. Without a doubt, a person who span of only a few minutes. Thailand is a country famed as an epicenter for immorality. 76 Tehillim 90:3. sees these tragic events, which are in fact warning signals 77 Brachos 5a. 78 2:3; see also Sanhedrin 101a, and Orchos Tzaddikim in Shaar HaTeshuvah. 81 Yevamos 63a. 79 See Sanhedrin 101a. 82 Tzefaniah 3:6. 80 Drush 10. 83 Drashos 6. 52 This Too Is For The Best Reasons for Yissurim 53
sent from God, yet still continues in his old ways is com- out sin, as it is written,88 ‘I shall visit them with the staff of their own pared to a person who committed an offense, and was con- sins and with the afflictions of their own transgressions.’”89 sequently warned against doing it again. If he were to now In light of the above, we can reconcile the two concepts. It is true repeat the offense, he certainly deserves severe retribution. that a person should attribute all of his yissurim to atonement. At the same time, however, a person should regard them as a type of heav- Yissurim are meant to arouse both the ‘victim’ and bystanders enly reminder to consider his ways and repent from any evil. That is to repent. to say, yissurim serve a dual purpose; they serve to atone while at the same time remind one to examine his conduct. We find this concept 5. Yissurim as atonement in the Midrash90 quoting the Navi in Eicha:91 While the idea of suffering as atonement is well known at a basic Let us investigate our ways and level, many parts of the process are less do introspection, and return to Yissurim serve as The main reason understood. These points have great rami- Hashem. What does the Navi wish atonement while for yissurim is fications in our daily lives and deserve to convey in this verse? He wishes at the same time, a atonement more understanding. The Midrash states,84 to teach us that the yissurim which catalyst for Teshuva “Rebbi Akiva said … a person should re- come to a person, all emanate from his own actions be- joice over hard times more than over good occurrences, for if a man has cause Hashem rules with perfect justice. There are no only goodness all his days, the sins he has committed will remain unfor- mistakes. Therefore, theNavi tells us, that when a person given. How are they forgiven? With yissurim.” It is clear that there are is visited with yissurim, he should say to himself, “What yissurim whose purpose is to atone for one’s sins. Yet, this begs the question: We learned before that there are yissurim which are sent to spur a person to repent his ways, and here we see that there are yissurim sent for atonement. How are we to distinguish between the two? Are the yissurim we face for atonement or to motivate repentance? The answer lies in the words of the Ra’ah who says,85 “If a person 88 Tehillim 89:33. 89 It is evident from here that the primary cause of yissurim is sin. Based on this the Sefer encounters any yissurim, he should rejoice, and have in mind that they HaChinuch (Mitzvah 241) in explaining the prohibition not to take vengeance, shares a are atonement....” We see from here that one has a license to attribute fascinating insight: “Amongst the reasons why one must not exact vengeance is to instill all of his yissurim to atone for his transgressions. Similarly, Rashi writes within a person the idea that everything that befalls a person, for the better or for the worse, is from Hashem. Included in this is what one suffers at the hands of his fellow man. in Tehillim,86 “No difficulty befalls a person, unless he has transgressed.” Therefore, when one has been made to suffer as a result of what another person did to him, In fact, this principle is an explicit Gemara:87 “There is no suffering with- he should realize that it is his own transgressions which are to blame. They are the true cause. Thus, he should not think about how to take revenge from the person who caused him pain, as he was not the real cause.” The Chafetz Chaim used to give the following anal- 84 Devarim Rabbah 32. ogy: There was once a man who found it appropriate to beat his dog with a stick. The dog 85 Brachos 9a. responded by biting the stick, attributing the stick to his pains. When we blame someone 86 Tehillim 107:11. else for our pains, are we not like the dog that bites the stick? 87 Shabbos 55a. It is worthy of mention that the Chafetz Chaim encoded this principle in the 90 Midrash Aggadah, Vayikra 14:2. Mishneh Berurah, Siman 222 s,p, 4. 91 3:40. 54 This Too Is For The Best Reasons for Yissurim 55
have I done to warrant these yissurim?” and from there to committed. He makes him suffer with a punishment introspect his ways, and to repent. that is similar in kind to the sin … so that the person should know clearly that this is no coincidence, but is the hand of Hashem that has struck, that he may turn Yissurim are custom-tailored away from the brink of the abyss, and make up his mind not to sin in this way again. We have seen that all yissurim bear with them a measure of atone- ment. Interestingly, if we pay careful attention to the specifics of the We glean from the words of the Avi Ezri a lesson in Divine yissurim, we can sometimes discern the exact sin for which they came Providence. Yissurim and the sins that bring them on bear strik- to atone. Rabbeinu Yona writes:92 ing similarities. Examples of this principle are given in the Ge- mara Sotah:94 [Heaven] exacts restitution from a person with calcula- tion. How is this done? When a person knows and re- Shimshon strayed after his eyes, therefore, the Philistines members the transgression he commits, and when the gored out his eyes… Avshalom was prideful over his hair, punishment comes to him, he recognizes and is aware therefore he was hanged by his hair. that it has come because of a particular sin. Great is this person, for in this he justifies Heaven’s judgment and he One can argue that measure-for-measure yissurim only applied in the times when the Shechina, God’s very will repent, and the sin will be atoned. It is sometimes presence, dwelled openly in our midst. possible to discern Practically speaking, how can one possibly know which sin brought However, in our times, where the coun- which sin brought on forth specific yissurim? Who can fathom Hashem’s deep calculations? tenance of Hashem is hidden from the which yissurim The logic is as follows: Yissurim come as atonement. If so, they world (hester panim), the punishments must be custom designed specifically for the person receiving them, we receive no longer carry with them this measure of exacting Divine to atone for the specific sin committed. Connected to this concept is Providence. The Rambam refutes this claim. He writes that even in that Hashem gives a person his travails measure-for-measure — in- our days, it is still possible to ascertain for which sin a difficulty is dicating that the type of yissurim themselves hint to the reason they meant to atone. The Rambam writes:95 came. Thus, the enlightened person, by contemplating the nature of his yissurim, stands to discover the purpose for why they came, and is Hillel once saw a severed head floating upon the water. He enabled to repent thoroughly. Under the correct circumstances, this said to it, “You drowned someone, so you were drowned; and can serve to preclude the necessity of any future yissurim resulting in the end those who drowned you shall also be drowned.” from that sin. The Avi Ezri writes explicitly: 93 This means that evil acts return upon the head of those who perpetrate them... The Sages say, one is treated measure-for- You surely know that all punishments through which Hashem makes a person suffer, are all for a sin
92 Avos 3:16. 94 9b. 93 Vayikra 26:21 in the Mikraos Gedolos. 95 Avos 2:6. 56 This Too Is For The Best Reasons for Yissurim 57
measure commensurate with his conduct and this can be The Rosh Yeshiva, R’ Isser Zalman Meltzer, was teaching a plainly seen in every moment, period and place.96 class to his students in his home. Suddenly, his wife cried out from the kitchen, “The milk boiled over!” One of the side advantages of this incredible Divine Precision This may have been a common occurrence in any house, but is that the person cognizant of it will be continually strengthened R’ Isser Zalman understood it differently. He interrupted his in his trust in Hashem as he regularly sees the Divine Hand in his class and entered the kitchen. He held a brief conversation life. The person becomes increasingly encouraged to remain aloof with the Rebbetzin and promptly left the house. The students from any evil and to strive for perfection. This can be akin to a per- had never before seen their Rav take a break in the middle of son who witnesses miracles on a consistent basis becoming more learning, even for serious matters, and they were dumbfound- and more aware of Hashem’s intimate involvement in his life, and ed. What explanation could there be for interrupting Torah thus becoming spiritually stronger and stronger. The Shevet Mus- study for such a small matter as spilled milk? sar explains:97 When R’ Isser Zalman returned, he explained to his stu- When a person consistently recognizes the connection dents: “It is no chance occurrence that the milk boiled over. It between his yissurim and the sin he committed, he will was decreed from Heaven. We were obligated to look into why set firmly in his heart that God runs all the affairs of this happened and correct whatever caused it. As it turned man and counts his steps. This will move him to bring out, today the Rebbetzin neglected to pay the milkman his his uncircumcised heart to accept the fear [of Heaven], wages for bringing the milk to the house. Therefore I was ob- as he realizes there is One Who sees, and he will choose ligated to go immediately and pay him the debt. Are we not good and spurn evil. Neither will he allow his embarrass- commanded, ‘You shall pay his wages on that very day?’” ment of others to prevent him from fulfilling the Torah R’ Isser Zalman did not just know that there is no such thing as and its mitzvos, for since he accepts Hashem’s Provi- coincidence, he lived it. Everything happens by Heavenly decree for a dence over all His creatures, the Day of Judgment also reason, even the milk spilling over. becomes an inescapable reality. His very kidneys will ad- Caveat: Although it is possible to trace the source of our yissurim vise him: Why should the derision of people prevent me — even in today’s world — it is not always possible. There are times from fulfilling the words of the Living God? Will he be when yissurim are sent in a fashion that the recipient bears no chance able to say, “Master of the Universe, I was embarrassed of fathoming the purpose for why they came. Under what circum- of this man, but not of You?” stances does this occur? If a person repeatedly commits the same This concept (that the nature of one’s yissurim reflect their spiri- transgression. In a case like this, a person loses the privilege of having tual causes) was applied with great success by one of the great Rosh the yissurim guide him to understanding what was done wrong. The Yeshivas of our times: Avi Ezri writes,98 “If a person transgresses many times and looks at the violation as if it is permissible, then that person is prevented from being able to see the sin through his punishment. Hashem will punish 96 See also Ruach Chaim 3:16. 97 6:9. 98 Vayikra 26:21. 58 This Too Is For The Best Reasons for Yissurim 59 him in an unusual manner that he will not be able to draw the connec- naught and even add to their sinfulness by suspecting tion between the offense and the hardship suffered in its wake.” the Divine Justice.
The lesson is clear: Yissurim can atone for a person only on condi- Atonement is conditional tion that he accepts them and does not reject them. It is important to The fact that yissurim are an atonement is not as simple as it note, that accepting yissurim does not mean being happy and content sounds. The Gemara points out an important precondition:99 “Perhaps with them. Accepting yissurim means that the person accepts the Di- [yissurim atone for a person] even if he does not accept them with vine Justice rendered, albeit hard and bitter. With this recognition, love? Thus we are taught, ‘If you willingly set your soul as a guilt offer- his yissurim effect atonement. A person who has elevated himself to ing’100 — just as a guilt offering must be brought willingly (in order to the level of thanking Hashem for his yissurim, or is happy over them, atone), so too, yissurim must be accepted willingly.” greatly enhances the quality of atonement, as will be seen later.103 A person’s atonement is contingent on his acceptance of the yis- surim. One who doubts the heavenly justice of his yissurim greatly 6. Yissurim as liability for others compromises the atoning factor involved in the process. “All Jews are responsible for one another.”104 We are all con- Rabbeinu Yona writes:101 If he does not accept the suffering nected spiritually. As a consequence, it is possible for one person’s and does not humble himself in face of the rebuke, he fails punishment for a sin, to affect others as well. The Malbim explains to circumcise his thick heart. Woe to him and his soul, for as follows:105 “All of the Jewish People are connected as one body, to he has borne the burden of suffering and his transgres- the point that each individual is related to the whole community, sion, but it was not atoned. just as a limb is related to the body. Accordingly, just as the crip- pling or loss of a single part of the body affects the entire body, so So too the Pele Yoetz writes:102 too if one sins, it has a great effect on the whole.” He should not act like the foolish ones who kick and We find evidence for this type of yissurim in the Torah:106 “One man grow angry. When they fall or stumble they blame the stumbles over his brother, as if running from the sword, but there Heavenly Tribunal of a mistaken is no pursuer.” Rabbeinu Bachaye107 explains that one man stumbles Yissurim only atone verdict. Woe to these who inher- over the sin of his brother, since all are accountable for one another. if they are accepted it a double portion of purgatory, This idea is echoed in the episode concerning Achan. He was the lone willingly for they undergo suffering for thief, yet all of the Jewish People were held accountable for his trans- gression, as it is written,108 “The Jewish People have sinned, they have
103 chapters 4 and 6. 104 Shavuos 39a. 99 Brachos 5a. 105 Yehoshua 7:1. 100 Yeshaya 53:10. 106 Vayikra 26:37. 101 Shaarei Teshuvah 2:3. 107 Ibid. 102 Erech “yissurim.” 108 Yehoshua 7:11. 60 This Too Is For The Best Reasons for Yissurim 61 stolen, denied and placed the goods in their vessels.” One individual nonetheless given partial ‘credit’ for it, since he could have stopped it. committed an error, yet the burden was placed on the shoulders of the The Gemara states,116 “Anyone who could have objected to the deeds of entire nation.109 the members of his household but did not do so shall be held accountable Our Sages teach in the Midrash:110 “To the garden of walnuts did I (Rashi: and punished for the sins they committed). Similarly, one who descend…” Why are the Jewish People compared to a walnut? When could have objected to the deeds of the people of his town or country one takes a single walnut from the basket, all of them roll and shake and yet failed to do so shall be held accountable for their violations.” The one after the other, so too with the Jewish People. If one of them is Rambam likewise writes :117 struck, all of them feel it, as it is written,111 “One man has sinned, but One who sees his friend sin or sees him becoming ac- You become angered at the entire community.”112 customed to improper conduct, should know that it is It appears that a person has no chance of avoiding hardship in life. a mitzvah to bring him back to the right path and to let Even while he is careful not to sin at all, someone else will surely sin him know he is doing wrong against himself with his evil and he will be dragged along with him. Is a person doomed to suffer deeds, as it is written, “You shall surely rebuke your na- on account of other peoples mistakes? In truth, yissurim of this nature tion,”… and anyone who could have protested and did are greatly limited both in scope and frequency. Firstly, only the most not, shall be punished for the sins of these people, since serious of violations are punishable in this way; for example, the sin he could have stopped them.118 of false oaths.113 Secondly, we find114 that punishment of this sort only occurs at a time of general Divine Wrath, something which is rare and exceptional.115 Being that it is rare to have all these conditions met, it would be a mistake for one to attribute his sufferings to this. 7. Yissurim to prepare for the Messianic Era However, when one is in a position to successfully prevent anoth- The Sages have revealed to us that in the days preceding the ar- er from sinning, but holds back from doing so, he can be punished for rival of Mashiach there will be great travails in store for the world in that other’s sin. Although he did not play an active role in the sin, he is general and for the Jewish People in particular. The Gemara says:119
Rebbi Zeira said in the name of Rebbi Yirmiyah bar Abba: 109 See Ralbag on Yehoshua, ibid, who explains at length why thirty six people died on account of Achan’s sin, yet Achan himself, did not die. The generation in which Ben Dovid (i.e. the Mashiach) 110 Shir HaShirim Rabbah Parsha 6. comes, there will be accusations against the Torah scholars 111 Bamidbar 16. 112 See Bava Kama 92a with Rashi. Also see Bereishis Rabsi (Parshas Vayeshev, p. 179) where the 116 Shabbos 54b. sin of a Jew is compared to a ship in which one of its cabins has a leak. We do not say, “a 117 Mishnah Torah, Hil. Deos 6:7. cabin has a leak”, but rather “the entire ship is sinking,” as it is written, “the Jewish People 118 See also the Meiri on Shabbos 54b. Some words of advice concerning rebuke: When one have sinned…” contemplates correcting the conduct of someone else, one needs first to ascertain that 113 As is mentioned by the RiMiGash on Shavuos 39a. the other person indeed is objectively wrong. Second, when administrating the rebuttal, 114 See the sefer Mizrach HaShamash on Navi Yehoshua Ch. 22. the Sages advise us to do so using gentle words (if possible, words spoken out of sincere 115 With these quantifications, we gain a new approach to understand why many righteous love) (See Shabbos 34a). Third, one must be careful not to embarrass the one receiving the people died in the Holocaust. In those most difficult times many people strayed from the rebuke, for example if rebuking one in the presence of others (See Vayikra 19:17). Fourth, if Torah path of life and joined the Haskalah, a movement that replaced sound Torah values it is likely that the words of rebuke will inspire the one being rebuked to hate the one giving for empty secular beliefs. It was a time when many people were performing great sins, and the rebuttal, one is exempted from rebuking him (See Biur Halacha 608 dh. Chai-ev). most certainly was a time of Divine Wrath. 119 Kesuvos 112b. 62 This Too Is For The Best Reasons for Yissurim 63
[Rashi: many accusers will rise up against them]. When suffering is reserved solely for the generation greeting this forecast was repeated to Shmuel, he said, “There will Mashiach. Albeit only a single generation, there will be be one decree after another, as it is written,120 ‘Then, upon such a prevalence of hardships that it will equal a third of the tenth I shall place My hand and it shall burn’ [Rashi: all of the yissurim destined for the world. only a tenth of the Jewish People will remain, and even This concept is frightening. The yissurim that can be expected to this remnant will experience burning]. Rav Yosef taught: meet the Messianic Era will rival the amount of suffering the world They will be ransacked, and ransacked again. has experienced from the dawn of history until that very time! We These calamities will be of unprecedented proportions, both in can surmise that this will be a terrible period of time, witnessing epic their scope and in their nature, as the Midrash foretells:121 proportions of calamity, destruction and havoc without parallel in the annals of history. The obvious question: “Why is this necessary?” Rebbi Levy said in the name of Rebbi Iddi: The amount of To begin to understand, let’s look at what is necessary for Mashiach. yissurim that has been ordained for this world is divided The Messianic times demand a degree of purity, requiring a process of into three portions. One portion is taken by the Patri- eliminating impurities and refining the good elements which already archs and all of the generations, one portion is taken by exist. This takes place chiefly through the elevation of the Jewish Peo- the generation of shmod (i.e. all of the generations that ple, after which the rest of the world follows. The Maharsha writes,124 have suffered as a result of decrees issued against the ob- “If the Jewish People are found worthy, then they are likened to pure servance of Torah122), and one portion is taken by the gen- silver for which purification is unnecessary. But if they are not pure, eration that greets Mashiach. then they are likened to impure metal which must be subjected to pu- The Shomer Emunim explains the implications:123 rification… until they will be pure silver then we may merit the arrival of Mashiach.” In order to be elevated, we must first undergo some kind This that the Midrash states that, “One portion is taken of degeneration. This occurs on a personal level, and in the future will by the Patriarchs and all of the generations,” means that occur on a global level. The Aruch LaNer explains:125 all of the poverty, illness, captivity Yissurim purify the and other yissurim of every individ- The natural order is that every good thing, when it rises world in preparation ual of every generation, comprises up and adds to its perfection, loses some of its original for the coming of one of the three portions of yis- gradeur at the very beginning. This can be illustrated by Mashiach surim allotted to the world. It fol- a grain of wheat. Before being planted the grain is edible, lows then, that the sum total of all but upon being sown in the ground it deteriorates and of that suffering equals the amount of yissurim borne by decomposes, and only afterward sprouts forth a fresh those exposed to the decrees of shmod. The last portion of new shoot capable of producing several more grains. Hence we see that deterioration preceded the elevation. 120 Yeshaya 6:13. The same is true of a man in this world. Before he can 121 Shochar Tov 16. 122 As is explained in the sefer Shomer Emunim. 124 Kesuvos 112b. 123 In the introduction. 125 Sanhedrin 96b. 64 This Too Is For The Best Reasons for Yissurim 65
attain the life of the World to Come after the resurrec- sufferings and evil, shall sprout salvation, through His tion of the dead, his body must first decompose in the great strength. ground. Only then will he be enabled to attain the addi- That is to say, that in accordance to the depths of the darkness tional level necessary for his ensuing existence. This also shall there be the exposure of light. In Messianic times, Divine Unity explains why in the days preceding the Messianic Era, needs to be exposed more than it has ever been exposed. Therefore, mankind will sink to a dismal level, that the righteous this has to be preceded by a great darkness, as only in accordance to will be few in number and the Torah and her scholars the scope of the darkness, can the light be appreciated.129 will be neglected, because as mentioned, before the el- Is there a way one can discern if our sufferings are part of the yis- evation there must be degeneration. surim of the Messianic Era or if they are ‘regular’ individual yissurim? Another question: Even if the world needs to become pure to The answer is yes. The Messianic yissurim have a set order and style, greet Mashiach, why does the process need to be so extreme? Why making them easy to identify. can’t small measures of yissurim suffice? The answer is deep. The tribulations that will transpire in the gen- Identifying Messianic Era suffering eration of Mashiach come also with the purpose of revealing the ab- solute unity of God in the world.126 To achieve this goal in its entirety, The Sages130 have likened the Messianic yissurim to birth pangs. there is a need to increase the powers of evil greatly, and then nullify The Chafetz Chaim131 expounds on this in the name of the Vilna Gaon: them. The Ramchal explains,127 “At the end of the exile, Hashem will The exile can be compared to pregnancy, and the end of bring about the perfection of the world in general. Out of the great the exile is likened to giving birth. It is known that when concealment of the Divine Countenance shall be born the great reve- a woman is about to give birth, at lation, and perfection shall be bestowed upon the world.” He explains the moment when the contractions Messianic yissurim this concept in greater detail in his work, Da’as Tevunos:128 overwhelm her to the point that come in waves, like This is one of the principles of the Divine Unity, to she cannot take them any longer, a birthing mother’s demonstrate the power of His complete reign… and the midwife comforts her by saying, contractions that it is not limited in any way, shape or form by evil… “This is a sign that the baby is about Hashem permits and has left a place for evil to do all it is able to do, but in the end, even as the evil increases 129 Although the times preceding the Messianic Era will be tough, nonetheless there is a great light at the end of the tunnel. With the advent of these times, war and destruction, sick- its burden on mankind, so too, shall the power of God’s ness and famine, jealousy and strife will simply cease to exist. Riches, health and peace will unity and omnipotence be revealed in the exposure of prevail. Everyone will be content and happy. They will rejoice in God, and He will rejoice in His mighty kingdom, and out of the depth of the many them. Prophecy will abound like water. The joy and elation associated with these times can- not be put into words. The reader is referred to the Nevi’im Yeshaya, Yecheskel and Zacharia with the associated commentaries for more on the Messianic Era. 126 I.e. to bring the whole world the awareness that Hashem is One, and that He’s Om- 130 See Kesuvos 111a. “Bavel will not see the birth pangs of Mashiach.” See also Shabbos 118a nipotent. “Anyone who eats three meals on Shabbos merits to be saved from three travails —the 127 In his work entitled Klalim Rishonim. birth pangs of Mashiach, the suffering of Gehinom and the war of Gog and Magog. 128 Siman 40. 131 Shem Olam, Shaar Hischazkus, Ch. 12. 66 This Too Is For The Best Reasons for Yissurim 67
to be born.” … the nature of birth pangs is that they come can come at any moment, as our Sages state,134 “Today he will come, and then subside for a short time between [for without this if we heed Hashem’s voice.” Indeed, this is the last of the Rambam’s respite the woman would die on the birth stool], and then Thirteen Principles of Faith: “I believe with perfect faith in the coming the contractions resume. of Mashiach, and even though he tarries, nevertheless I wait every day Similarly, the travails accompanying the approach of for him to come.”135 From here it would seem that a person’s “regu- the Messianic Age will pulse. There will be periods of rela- lar” yissurim should not be attributed to preparation for Mashiach, but tive calm, just as there are with birth pangs. These periods rather as atonement, since they do not follow the above said pattern of calm will get progressively smaller, each wave coming of childbirth. more rapidly after the one before it and becoming more intense as Mashiach approaches, exactly like birth pangs. 8. Suffering due to negligence The very times we live in today are referred to as ‘the footsteps There is a type of suffering that a person bears solely as a result of of Mashiach’ (Ikvesa d’Meshicha).132 This means to say that his arrival his own negligence. Indeed, the majority of a person’s troubles fall is imminent. Indeed, I heard from one of the foremost Kabbalistic into this category, as is mentioned in the Gemara Yerushalmi,136 “The scholars that there has never been a time more ripe for the arrival of Rabbis say: ninety-nine die by negligence, and one by the hand of Mashiach than our present times. God.” The Rambam adds clarity :137 Being that this is the case, we can expect to see epic calamities to strike the world, becoming progressively stronger and more fre- Most of a person’s trouble comes Most of our troubles quent, akin to childbirth. Thus the wise person will resign himself to from what he causes to himself, are due to our own this reality from the outset to accept all of this suffering favorably such as getting involved in dis- negligence, not to without complaint. This will stand him in good stead. As others are putes, or by overindulging in food yissurim frantic and behave without rhyme or reason, he is calm and stead- or intimacy, or by taking hazard- fast in his faith. True, there will be great difficulty, but the world is ous risks to become wealthy. Hashem will not perform a not going to end. Great miracles will transpire, easily overshadow- miracle to save a person who conducts himself without ing the ten plagues and associated miracles which occurred when logic. Regarding these types of travails the verse says:138 leaving Egypt.133 Furthermore, at the end of the travails will be the great revelation of Hashem’s unity — which usher with it unparal- leled happiness and prosperity. 134 Sanhedrin 98a. Considering the sources we have just quoted, it is easy to get the 135 One may ask: How can Mashiach come today? Did we not just learn that a purification impression that Mashiach cannot come until the whole world has suf- process must precede his arrival? One answer is, that if we can elevate ourselves enough through Torah, teshuva and tzedakah, the purification will be achieved through these fered enormously. However, we should keep in mind that Mashiach means, precluding the need for other more difficult ways of spiritual purification, as the Sages teach, that Torah, teshuva and tzedakah hastens the redemption (See Gemara Sanhe- drin 99b, Yoma 86b, Bava Basra 10a, and Yalkut Shimoni Yeshayahu 484). 136 Shabbos 75b. 132 Cf. Tanya; also the concluding remarks of the Chafetz Chaim in his sefer, Shem Olam. 137 Moreh Nevuchim 3:12. 133 See Gemara Brachos 12b. 138 Mishlei 19:3. 68 This Too Is For The Best Reasons for Yissurim 69
“A man’s own blunder causes his ways to fail, but his Can such ‘negligence-suffering’ atone for a person’s transgres- heart blames God.” sions? The Shomer Emunim addresses the question:142
This is a most startling point: Suffering resulting from negligence There is suffering brought on by people’s negligence such accounts for most human suffering. What types of suffering are we as sniffles and colds, etc. One who brings such troubles referring to? Here are some examples: upon himself will be taken to task for it in the Next World … Know The suffering of 1. One who suffers from various ailments as a result of neglect- too, that all the travails, evil and negligence does ing to take care of his body, including overeating or consistent- sickness that befall a person due to not atone — it only ly eating foods deplete of nutritional value, smoking, alcohol his poor eating habits or his habit brings harm abuse or lack of exercise.139 of doing dangerous things etc. are not in the category 2. One who falls ill yet refrains from seeing a physician or neglects of heavenly-sent yissurim to affect atonement (or other to adhere to his instruction. benefits of yissurim). 3. One who, out of laziness, cannot hold a job or find a suitable means of income and becomes poverty-stricken. There is no redeeming factor to the suffering a person has on -ac 4. One who is haughty and consistently has his feelings hurt as he count of his own negligence, laziness or stupidity. Such suffering ru- feels people do not give him the respect he deserves. ins a person’s life here in this world and provides no atonement in the 5. One who is easy to anger and, as a result, suffers great marital World to Come. Our negligence in fulfilling our responsibilities only strife, becomes consistently embroiled in heated disputes and brings harm. other aggravating circumstances. 6. One who finds himself in a dangerous place, but does not flee.140 7. One who shows off the blessings he has been graced with. This is considered a form of negligence because through this, he causes other to be jealous of him, thus drawing himself “the evil eye.”141
139 This is evident from the above quoted Rambam and Shomer Emunim. It would appear that some of the most prevalent health problems present in the modern world (obesity, diabe- tes, etc.) can be traced to some aspect of the abovementioned types of bodily negligence. 140 As mentioned in Rema, Yoreh De’ah 116:5; See Biur haGra, No. 16. 141 TheShomer Emunim writes: Many things happen to a person due to his own foolishness. If a man received some type of benefit, it is proper for him to conceal this from other people and certainly not bring attention to it, because there are many accusers, both spiritual and physical, and they can cast upon him the evil eye ... which might succeed to break the blessing. The holy Zohar suggests that one who flaunts to others the good things that he has, is considered like he has performed a transgression as it is written, “Yaakov said to his children, ‘Why do you show off?’” 142 HaKadmon, Vikuach 2, Siman 8. Accepting Yissurim 71
about them.145 However, this needs clarity. What precisely does it mean to “accept” yissurim? Does it mean that we are obliged only to be resigned to them and not complain, or perhaps the intention is that we are expected to be happy over them. This is a point of dispute amongst the great rabbinic authorities. Rashi146 maintains that it is enough for one to wholeheartedly ac- cept his yissurim, and by doing so, he fulfills the Divine precept of lov- ing God. In contrast, the Rambam147 writes that accepting suffering is included in the “exceptional love” we are required to have for God, and that we should give thanks and praise for them with happiness. The law in this matter has been decided in favor of Rashi, as we -3- find encoded in the Tur and Shulchan Aruch.148 It is worthy to note that Rashi would concur that it is commendable and a mitzvah to be happy Accepting Yissurim over one’s yissurim, but according to his opinion this is not obligatory. Something here requires explanation. How can there be a mitz- vah to rejoice over yissurim? Are the widow and orphan supposed to rejoice over the death of their husband and father? Is this really ccepting yissurim is a great mitzvah. the Torah’s approach to tragedy? It sounds callous and cruel. Fur- 143 Our Sages teach: thermore, when Shlomo HaMelech describes the Torah in the Book 149 One is as obligated to give thanks for bad tid- of Mishlei, he writes, “All her ways are ways of pleasantness, and ings in the same manner as for good tidings, as all of her pathways are peaceful.” Is it really pleasant and peaceful to it is written,144 “And you shall love rejoice over suffering? Loving Hashem Hashem your God … with all your with all our hearts measure,” meaning that for every includes accepting The secret of rejoicing over Yissurim measure (circumstance) that God yissurim gladly Our Sages say150 that if one’s father dies and he is an inheritor, measures out for you, you should he should first recite the blessing of “Baruch Dayan HaEmes,” the thank Him. Rava said: this teaches us that we need to ac- blessing recognizing and declaring the Divine Justice involved in cept yissurim gladly. the tragedy. After, he is instructed to recite the blessing of “Baruch The Gemara is teaching that one fulfills the positive command- ment of loving Hashem by accepting yissurim and not complaining 145 See Rambam in his commentary to Mishnah, Brachos 10:3. 146 Brachos 60b. 147 adloc. 148 Orach Chaim 222 §3. 143 Brachos 54a. 149 3 :17. 144 Devarim 6:5. 150 Brachos 59b. 72 This Too Is For The Best Accepting Yissurim 73
HaTov v’HaMeitiv,” the blessing of gratitude pertaining to the in- for good tidings.” The Maggid told him, “Go to Reb Zusha of heritance received. Anipoli; he will give you the answer.” [Reb Zusha lived in ab- The Sages draw a distinction between the actual tragedy in ject poverty and also suffered from a variety of debilitating and of itself, and the positive outcome which emanates as a result. illnesses.] Reb Shmelke went to visit Reb Zusha as his Rebbe Pertaining to the actual tragedy, we say the blessing recogniz- instructed, and when he got there, he asked his question. Reb ing the Divine Justice involved, but we certainly do not rejoice Zusha was surprised over the question and said, “That is a over it. However, pertaining to the side benefits which accrue to question you have to ask of someone who has suffered; Baruch a person as a result of the death, we express our gratitude with a Hashem, I’ve had nothing but good all my days…” different blessing. This idea is echoed in the Midrash:151 “He cre- Reb Zusha understood that the side benefits of suffering out- ated the fire of Gehinom on the second day (of Creation), which weigh their ‘cost’ by several orders of magnitude, and therefore, he was not qualified by the phrase, ‘ki tov — for it was good.’” The appreciated the positive outcomes of his yissurim and was content and Etz Yosef quotes the Yafe Toar, “‘Good’ cannot be said about the happy, even throughout all of his great difficulties. day in which evil was created. Even We rejoice over the though [the fire of Gehinom] is good positive outcomes of in that it is used to purify people [who the tragedy, certainly Accepting the Divine Judgment will then be able to take their place in not over the tragedy We have seen that one is obliged to accept his yissurim wholeheart- Gan Eden], nevertheless, its essence itself edly. There is another important concept associated with this. One who is evil and cannot be said to be good.” finds himself with troubles should recognize the Divine Justice rendered. Although Gehinom has positive side results, Gehinom in and of In Hebrew, this concept is called “Tziduk HaDin”. According to the opinion itself, is not considered “good.” of the Smag, this constitutes the fulfillment of a Torah precept.153 Bringing all of this together, we draw two lessons about suffering: The mitzvah of accepting Divine Justice carries with it great impor- 1. We are expected to accept the fact of our suffering wholeheart- tance, as it is one of the major distinctions drawn between the Jewish edly, to recognize that it is a Heavenly Decree and not complain People and the idol worshippers, as we find in tractate Rosh Hashanah.154 about it. Rashi explains,155 “This is the way of the Jewish People whose hearts are 2. We have a mitzvah (although not an obligation) to rejoice over inclined Heavenward. If he suffers, he does not reject the HeavenlyVer- the beneficial consequences of our suffering, such as atonement dict, rather he places responsibility for his suffering on his past trans- for our sins.152 gressions. But an idol worshipper, by way of contrast, when he suffers and feels it is undeserved, complains of Divine Injustice.” Once, Reb Shmelke of Nickolsberg asked the Maggid of Miz- In fact, the secret of the continuity of the Jewish People is con- 156 rich how best to fulfill the words of our Sages, “One is obli- nected to this mitzvah, as we find in the Midrash: gated to give thanks for bad tidings in the same manner as 153 See Smag, Aseh 17. 154 4a. 151 Tanchuma, Chayei Sarah §3. 155 Ibid. 152 See more on the benefits of yissurim in Chapter 6. 156 Tanchuma, Nitzavim §3. 74 This Too Is For The Best Accepting Yissurim 75
If you ask, “Why are the idol-worshipping nations Rabbi Chaim of Volozhin161 comments on a verse in Mishlei:162 doomed to destruction, while we continue to exist?” “A tzaddik walks in innocence; praiseworthy are his sons This is because when they are visited by suffering after him.” There are many fine traits that a tzaddik works they rebel against it, and do not recognize the Name hard to acquire, but his children inherit them as part of of Hashem (i.e. they reject the Divine Justice), as it is their nature, and attain them with but little effort. Expe- written,157 “Pour Your wrath upon the gentiles who do rience shows that a great many of the simplest Jews are not know You.” But the Jewish People, when they are prepared to die to sanctify Hashem’s Name (Kiddush made to suffer, submit to it, as it is written,158 “Pain Hashem). This trait was stamped into us by Avraham, who and sadness I find (i.e. yissurim), and in the Name of was willing to die for his faith at Ur Kasdim… and the abil- Hashem I call.” ity to accept that all that Heaven does is for the best, From where do the Jewish People have the strength to continu- comes from the test of famine, when [Avraham] did not ally recognize the righteousness of the Divine Decree, under all con- question Hashem’s ways. ditions? The answer is found in a Midrash:159 Every Jew has the innate ability to accept his yissurim without Rebbi Pinchas began in the name of Rebbi Chanin of doubting the Divine Justice behind it. This trait comes as an inheri- Tzipporin: What is written of Avraham?160 “I shall bless tance bequeathed to him from his great As descendants of you and make your name great.” Once he left his home- forefather Avraham, which underscores Avraham Avinu, we land to reside in the Land of Israel, a famine began and the unique inherent greatness of every inherited the ability he began suffering pangs of hunger, and he neither single Jew. The Baal HaTanya writes163 to accept yissurim took issue nor complained (despite the Divine Prom- that Hashem will not test a person with rather than complain ise that he would have great blessing as a result of his something he cannot withstand. If a test about them relocation to Israel), so it should be with you as well. If seems tremendous, then surely the re- suffering has come your way, do not take issue, and do cipient has already been given the extra spiritual strength necessary not make accusations. to overcome it. In other words, each of us, without exception, has the ability to accept our yissurim, rather than complain about them. We see from the Midrash that Avraham Avinu had mastered the idea of accepting the Divine Decree without questions. Does this have implications for his descendants? The answer is a resounding yes! And Rejecting the Divine Judgment they are far-reaching. Just as there is a mitzvah of accepting one’s yissurim, there is a transgression to reject them. There are two ways of rejecting Hashem’s justice:
157 Tehillim 89:6. 158 Tehillim 116:3-4. 161 Ruach Chaim 4:3. 159 Bereishis Rabbah 92§1. 162 Mishlei 20:7. 160 Bereishis 12. 163 Quoted in Likutei Sichos page 427 in the additions to Parshas Re’ei. 76 This Too Is For The Best Accepting Yissurim 77
1. The faulty belief that everything occurs by chance and coincidence. The wise man knows there is no such thing as coincidence. He rec- 2. Recognizing the Divine Hand involved in yissurim yet casting ognizes that all the details of his life are decided by Divine Providence. doubt in their justice. This knowledge is correct and also offers consolation: He realizes his suffering is preordained from Above, custom-designed for his ulti- Both of these approaches are wrong, but the second approach is mate benefit, both in this world and the next. even worse than the first, as will be explained. Doubting Divine Justice Attributing adversities to coincidence A person who casts doubt on the Divine Justice behind his trou- The person who views the source of his misfortune to ‘bad luck,’ bles and dares to think Hashem made a mistake in judgment, Heaven aside from being sorely mistaken, instigates troubles of a more severe forbid, is considered as one who is rebel- nature, to be decreed upon him. The Rambam writes:164 It is forbidden to ling against his suffering. Furthermore, attribute misfortune this is considered as nullifying the posi- If … they (the afflicted people) say “this thing that hap- to chance or doubt tive commandment of “You shall love pened to us is a disaster caused by nature, and this trouble Hashem’s justice is a chance occurrence,” this in fact is cruelty, as it will lead Hashem your God with all of your heart,” them to maintain their evil deeds, and this tragedy will as Rashi explains, “With all your heart — that your heart should not be lead to other worse calamities. This is what is written in contrary to the Omnipresent.”169 The gravity of this person’s mistaken 170 the Torah,165 “And if you walk with Me in happenstance, I viewpoint is apparent in the words of Rabbeinu Yona who writes: shall add to you the wrath.”166 There are people who think that the suffering that befalls We find many examples of this in the Torah:167 The bedridden King them is unfair. They think they are righteous and have not Assa sought out doctors and not God, attributing his sickness to cir- erred and do not understand why such great travail be- cumstance. Thus, his sickness took a turn for the worse, to the point falls them. These people die without repenting, but their that it became incurable. To contrast, ailing King Chizkiyahu, upon worms (that are manifest in their corpse) will not die, for receiving mere verbal rebuke, immediately turned to Hashem to be- they have cast aspersions on the judgment and declared seech for mercy. Not only was he granted a complete recovery, he was themselves righteous. Woe to them, and woe to their also granted to have his life extended for many years, over which he corpses; they have caused their own demise. bore witness to many great miracles. Pertaining to these two kings it Rabbeinu Yona also notes,171 “If he does not accept his lot, and does is written,168 “A word of rebuke to a wise man is greater than a hundred not humble himself before the Divine Rebuke and does not circumcise lashes to a fool.” his heart … his transgression will not be atoned and his punishment will be doubled.” 164 Hilchos taanis Ch. 1 halacha 3. 165 Vayikra 26:27-28. 166 See also Gemara Kiddushin 20a with Rashi and Shaarei Teshuva, Ch. 2, letter 2. 169 Devarim 6:5. 167 As the RaMad Valli points out in his commentary on Mishlei 17:10. 170 Avos 3:16. 168 Mishlei 17:10. 171 Shaarei Teshuvah 2:3. 78 This Too Is For The Best Accepting Yissurim 79
We already mentioned172 that the common denominator of all yis- one that we still have not learned, as it says:179 “There is no man so surim is that they atone for transgression, nullifying the necessity of righteous upon the earth that he will do [only] good and not sin.” Ev- suffering in Gehinom and thus serving a great benefit to the one re- ery sin, whether intentional or accidental, requires atonement. In ceiving them. However, one who doubts the Divine Justice enters into general we are always in need of some type of atonement. This is al- an ironic situation. At the same time that Hashem is in the process of ready enough to “justify” a person’s yissurim. healing him in a most expert way, he cries out and blames Hashem for Doubting God’s justice and complaining about it is a terrible mis- unjustly causing him misfortune! Rabbeinu Yona continues:173 take. However, there is an exception: When a person is visited with extreme yissurim and at a moment of great agony, utters words of an- It is said about people who do not recognize the good- ger or resentment, Heaven pays no attention to his complaints. He is ness and benefit of rebuke,174 “I will redeem them, but not held accountable for words uttered out of great duress. Our Sages they speak lies about Me.” And it is written,175 “I have teach,180 “One is not held accountable at the moment of pain.” made them suffer, I have strengthened their arms, but There is an amazing corollary to this: if a person has immense they think evil about Me.” And it is written,176 “I trained yissurim, (in which case he would not be held accountable if he com- Ephraim, supported him by his arms, but he did not know plained), yet in spite of it all, he accepts that I had healed him.” Accepting yissurim Hashem’s decree wholeheartedly, his brings great reward Hashem can never be suspected of subverting justice, as it is reward cannot be measured. Our Sages 181 written,177 “The Rock, perfect is His deed, for all His ways are jus- teach, “Rebbi Chanina bar Papa said, “Had Iyov not complained tice; faithful power, without distortion; righteous and straight is when suffering befell him, then apart from saying (three times a day He.” Also,178 “Hashem is righteous in all His ways, and pious in all in prayer) ‘the God of Avraham, the God of Yitzchak and the God of His deeds.” Yaakov’, we would also be saying ‘the God of Iyov.’” It does not make sense to believe in God, yet feel that He erred. There is almost no such thing as a person who does not have dif- Could it be that the Almighty God, who is omnipotent, sees past, pres- ficulties of some sort, and praiseworthy is he who accepts them prop- ent and future simultaneously, created erly, as the Sages teach,182 “Praiseworthy is he who overcomes his in- Simply put, God is the entire universe and sustains it every clination and who does not question his Creator’s measure, but takes good and He does not second, from whom absolutely nothing is shelter in Him with all his heart.” make mistakes. hidden — makes mistakes? Hashem does One who wishes to declare the justice of Hashem’s ways in prayer not make mistakes, but, by contrast, a human being is prone to make may wish to recite the following petition based on the writings of errors. We all do, whether it’s forgetting a mitzvah or transgressing the Rif and the Rosh.183 When said wholeheartedly, one fulfills the mitzvah of loving Hashem. It can be said by anyone going through 172 chapter 2. any sort of yissurim: 173 Ibid., 2:4. 174 Hoshea 7:13. 179 Koheles 7:20. 175 Ibid. 7:15. 180 Bava Basra 16b. 176 Ibid. 11:3. 181 Yalkut Shimoni, Iyov §908. 177 Devarim 32:4. 182 Midrash Agadah, Vayikra §14:2. 178 Tehillim 145:17. 183 Brachos, Rif 11b; and Rosh §3:9. 80 This Too Is For The Best
God, You are right for everything that has happened to me. May it find favor before You, God my Lord, that You mend my ruptures, and the ruptures of all the house of the Jewish People, with mercy. צדיק אתה ה‘ על כל הבא עלי יהי רצון מלפניך ה׳ אלהי שתגדור את פרצותי ואת פרצות כל עמך בית ישראל ברחמים -4- Greatness of Yissurim
nterestingly, yissurim do not constitute a negative sign from Heaven. Many people mistakenly believe that if a person is subject to yissurim, it indicates that he must be despicable in the eyes of the Almighty. Otherwise, Hash- em surely would not have put him through this. Some may lament if only he was righteous enough, he surely would have been pro- tected from this pain. This attitude is most unfortunate be- cause, in fact, nothing could be farther Yissurim are a sign of from the truth! The Torah itself testifies Divine Love, God is that even God’s most beloved servants sending them to help have endured difficult periods of great you suffering. The Shevet Mussar explains:184
Avraham was the greatest of believers, who made known Hashem’s existence throughout the world. This tzaddik
184 6:3. 82 This Too Is For The Best Greatness of Yissurim 83
was hunted down by Nimrod, and had to flee from his He who openly rebukes his fellow is better for him than country and birthplace to a land he had never known. he who loves him secretly, for the one who openly rebukes Similarly, Yitzchak went blind. Yaakov was chased about him surely loves him dearly, and his great love, as a lover by Eisav and his cohorts. Moshe Rabbeinu suffered to a beloved, is discerned through the added rebuke … greatly at the hands of Dasan and Aviram. They had this is also true of a father’s love for his son. Though his joined forces with Korach and his assembly who cursed love for his son is great, nevertheless, he strikes his son and derided him. They even started rumors suspecting and rebukes him openly and constantly. This is not true of him of adultery. Yehoshua bin Nun left no sons, only other close ones who would never strike him [physically] daughters. Dovid HaMelech’s own son sought to kill him, though they might rebuke him [with words], and other as did King Shaul and many others. Rebbi Yochanan bur- people [who have no relationship with him at all] will not ied all of his children. even rebuke him [with words]. The concept is this: To the extent that one loves an- The list goes on. In our times, the Chazon Ish did not merit hav- other, so too his rebuke will manifest. This is because he ing any children and suffered untold physical ailments. Obviously, the intends to correct his friend’s character and perfect him presence of suffering in a person’s life is no indication at all that God through his rebuke, and this is on account of his true love “does not like him.” for him. So too, Hashem chastises specifically his loved Not only are yissurim not a sign of Divine dissatisfaction, but ones as is mentioned in the Gemara,190 “It is not good for quite the contrary! Yissurim are actually a positive sign from heav- the wicked when Hashem favors them in this world… It is en. They indicate that Hashem loves us and desires us, as the verse good for the righteous when He does not show them favor says clearly:185 “Hashem chastises the one He loves.” Rav Huna in this world.” said,186 “Anyone who Hashem desires, He cleanses with yissurim.” Similarly, we find it written in Sefer HaYashar,187 “If suffering, ill- An amazing lesson emerges. One who receives yissurim has re- ness or tragedy befall a person, or he is exiled from his land, he ceived a personal telegram from the Almighty Himself, saying “I love should know that the Creator loves him, and is admonishing him you very much and wish to improve you with these yissurim in ways as He would His own son.”188 you cannot fathom.” He has been privileged to receive Hashem’s per- TheV ilna Gaon comments on this point. Commenting on Mishlei,189 sonal attention through customized yissurim designed precisely to “Better is open rebuke, than concealed love,” the Gaon writes: bring him closer to perfection and measured out with uncanny accu- racy. The intensity of the suffering reveals the amount of love, and all of this is performed out of great Divine Mercy. It is crucial for a person 185 Mishlei 3:12. bearing yissurim to keep this point in mind. 186 Brachos 5a. 187 Shaar 9. Let us try to understand this better. What does it mean that yis- 188 Apart from this sign of Divine Love, he mentions another sign, and that is, “If a harsh de- surim reflect Divine Love? In what way is this love manifested? The cree (i.e. yissurim) should befall the citizens of a city or a family, and this particular person remains unaffected by it, he should know that this is because the Creator loves him and has shown him the extent that he surpasses the others.” 189 Mishlei 27:5. 190 Yoma 87a. 84 This Too Is For The Best Greatness of Yissurim 85
Steipler Gaon said,191 “Suffering is precious … as they amount to the With this principle in mind, we gain insight into a baffling Ge- bulk of one’s success and wealth in the hereafter … the profit from mara in Avodah Zarah.196 Rebbi Eliezer was arrested by heretics for which is inestimable, and it is counted among Hashem’s greatest kind- not capitulating to become an idol worshiper, preferring to per- nesses.” Let us consider some of the benefits of suffering and thus sist in his loyalty to Hashem. The heretics brought him to trial to gain a small glimpse into the Divine Love expressed through yissurim. be hanged. At the proceedings, the judge said to him, “Why does an old and wise person such as yourself, spend his time with this 1. He will be protected from future suffering nonsense?” [Being a Torah Jew.] Rebbi Eliezer replied, “I trust the If a person accepts the judgment decreed upon him, he will pro- Judge.” The magistrate thought that Rebbi Eliezer was referring to tect himself from other calamities which were destined to befall him, him, although he had really been referring to his Judge in Heaven. as is written in Shaarei Teshuvah,192 “If calamity befalls the sinner … The magistrate said, “Since you have accepted my authority over and he declares the judgment fair and ac- you, I give you clemency. You are exonerated.” Accepting suffering cepts the rebuke with love, in the merit of The Chafetz Chaim explains: Once Rebbi Eliezer accepted the Di- without complaint this attitude he will be shielded from vine Judgment, the judgment was immediately lifted, and thus the helps avoid future much suffering which were bound to have chancellor mistakenly thought that Rebbi Eliezer was according him suffering befallen him…” honor and exempted him duly from all charges. This helps us shed light on an otherwise difficult Gemara 2. He merits the resolution of his suffering Yerushalmi:197 Moshe Rabbeinu, at the burning bush,193 asked Hashem for a sign Once it happened that a fire broke out in the courtyard to prove his legitimacy to the people, and he was instructed to throw of Yossi ben Simai, in the town of Shichin. The ruler’s down his staff to the ground, where it turned into a snake. Moshe men came down quickly from nearby Tzipporin to put was then told to seize the snake, at which point it is written, “And it out the blaze, but Yossi ben Simai stopped them. He said became a staff in his hand.”194 On this the Chafetz Chaim comments195 to them, “let the Tax Collector take His due.” (Meaning, “in his hand,” alludes to the principle that when a man accepts the let Hashem take retribution from me on account of my suffering brought upon him, the Heavenly Judgment against him is sins, as this was the ultimate cause for the fire — Pnei immediately lifted. (This is seen from the fact that Moshe Rabbeinu Moshe.) No sooner than the words were spoken, dark was not loathe to take the serpent with his very hand, which symbol- gray rain clouds emerged on the horizon, arriving just in izes wholehearted acceptance of the Divine Decree, and that once he time to douse the fire. grasped it, the serpent turned into a staff, alluding to the negation of his suffering as a consequence of his recognition of Divine Justice.) Yossi ben Simai’s acceptance of Divine Justice acted as a catalyst for the nullification of his suffering. This principle is central to our lives. We must
191 Krayna d’Igressa Vol 1, letter 91. be sure to recognize and appreciate the Divine Hand in our lives, even when 192 Shaarei Teshuvah 4:12. things do not go according to plan. This will help bring an end to yissurim. 193 Shemos 4:24. 194 Shemos 4:4. 196 16b. 195 Shmiras HaLashon Part II Parshas Shemos. 197 Shabbos Ch. 15 subsection 17. 86 This Too Is For The Best Greatness of Yissurim 87
The Rosh Yeshiva of Ponevez, Rabbi Elazar Menacham Man I know someone who, after having been through a very difficult Shach, suffered at one time from a kidney disorder. Every period, capitalized on the ensuing period of grace and prayed he week, the doctor would come to his house and administer an should have the merit to open and maintain a Kollel. His prayers were extremely difficult and painful treatment. One day, before the received and he successfully continues to teach Torah to this day. treatment, Rav Shach mentioned to one of his close ones, “I thought to myself, is not the purpose of yissurim atonement? 4. He will merit longevity and progeny If so, I need to accept them with love, and they will atone for The Sages revealed202 to us that a person who willingly accepts me.” Indeed, before the next treatment, the Rav accepted with his suffering will merit to have offspring203 and to live a long life. an open heart the imminent suffering. After the treatment, he The idea is thought-provoking. People One who willingly attested that, “This time there was no pain.”198 try everything to prolong their lives or accepts his sufferings have children. However, even after all of If a person can bring himself to actually rejoice in his circum- merits a long life the time and money invested, there are stances, then even others will merit to be saved on account of this. no guarantees. Bear in mind that perhaps the greatest of all these The Gemara states:199 “Rebbi Yehoshua ben Levi said, ‘All who rejoice attempts is readily accessible at no cost: to accept yissurim with a in their yissurim, bring redemption to the world.’” Comments the whole heart. Menoras HaMaor,200 “If he accepts them with joy and declares their justice, Heaven will have mercy upon him, removing from him the The Klausenberger Rebbe lost his family and dynasty during affliction, and bring salvation to him and others who live in that the Holocaust. On several occasions he just barely managed generation in his merit.” to escape the clutches of death. After the war, he managed to rebuild his family and re-establish his Chassidic dynasty. At 3. He will have his wishes fulfilled the occasion of marrying off one of his children, he spoke in The wisest of all men, Shlomo HaMelech, said:201 “For the one public with great emotion: whom Hashem loves, shall He rebuke, and like a father to a son He “Many times I have thought to myself, Hashem has desires.” What do the words “He desires” helped me through such peril, such suffering. I have merited mean? The Vilna Gaon clarifies, “After God fulfills the to rebuild. I have children who are Rabbis, and sons-in-law he withdraws his staff from [his son], as desires of those who are Rabbis. I have merited establishing a glorious Ye- a father to his son, He will assuage you, who accept yissurim shiva, producing true Torah scholars. I stand amazed. What and fulfill your desires.” Thus, the man without complaint did I do to merit this? What gave me such grace in God’s eyes who suffers can expect to look forward that he has given me all of this? I came to a firm conclusion. to great Heavenly Compassion, expressed in the sense that his wish- es will be fulfilled. 202 Brachos 5a. 203 A note regarding the blessing of having children: We find that the Torah considers having 198 cited in Orchos Chasidecha, p. 181. children the greatest possible blessing in this world, as we find in the Radak’s commentary on 199 Taanis 8a. Tehillim 127:3. See also the Midrash Shir HaShirim Rabbah 2 concerning Oved Edom’s bless- 200 Ner 5, 3 §299. ing of having 62 boys. In another place I have written at length to explain the greatness of 201 Mishlei 3:12. this blessing. 88 This Too Is For The Best Greatness of Yissurim 89
The one thing that I can attribute this to, is that even in the he experiences and he is weakened by his suffering, still, thick of those terrible years of the war, never did I complain Hashem acts with him against the laws of nature to en- about Hashem’s ways. Every wave of yissurim that came my sure he remembers his learning. way was accepted lovingly...”204 The fact thatyissurim facilitates better learning goes farther than many of us think. In truth, it is impossible to acquire Torah without 5. He will understand the Torah better having yissurim. The Sages teach:211 “Rebbi Shimon bar Yochai says, The greatness of Torah knowledge can never be overestimated. ‘Hashem gave three beneficial gifts to the Jewish People, and all of Shlomo HaMelech attests,205 “It is more precious than pearls, and them are acquired only through suffering. They are: Torah, the land all your desires cannot equal it.” It is of Israel and the World to Come.’” The Gaon of Vilna likewise states:212 well-known that even one word of To- He will also merit It is impossible to know the Torah unless he accepts his rah is equal to all of the mitzvos put deeper and better suffering. Therefore, one who appreciates suffering, in together,206 and of the three ‘crowns’ understanding of the fact, appreciates knowledge. This is because knowledge that are possible to possess (the crown Torah is dependent on it. However, to contrast, one who hates of kingship, the crown of priesthood even verbal rebuke [and all the more so physical suffer- and the crown of Torah knowledge), it is the crown of Torah which ing], he will remain of an unrefined nature (a boor), and ascends above the others.207 will not merit Torah knowledge. That Torah knowledge is the most precious commodity, reveals an- other positive aspect of yissurim. If one accepts his travails graciously, Why is this so? Why is attaining Torah knowledge dependent on he gains a greater capacity for learning and understanding the Torah. undergoing yissurim? Our Sages state in Avos,208 “One of the forty-eight ways to acquire Torah The Menoras HaMaor213 explains that through the suffering a per- is accepting suffering,”’ and Rashi explains, “For he accepts suffering son endures, he is refined from the physicality within and thus be- with love.” comes more spiritual, thereby greatly improving his capacity to un- Similarly, our Sages say,209 “And if he accepted his yissurim [out of derstand the Holy Torah. To add clarity, one’s capacity to understand love], what is his reward? He will remember his studies.” Torah is commensurate with his purity of soul. The greater the purity, The Ben Ish Chai elaborates farther:210 the more lucid his understanding. This helps us understand a puzzling episode in the Gemara:214 Even though a person who has yissurim is naturally prone to forget the Torah since he is confused by the suffering When Rebbi Shimon bar Yochai came out of the cave after a sojourn there of thirteen years, his flesh was split and 204 As recounted in the Sefer B’Michitzasam Part 2 page 659. 205 Mishlei 3:15. cracked from the sand in the cave in which he had buried 206 cf. Vilna Gaon, Shenos Eliyahu to Pe’ah, Ch. 1. 207 Cf. Rabbeinu Yona to Avos 4:12. 211 Brachos Ibid. 208 Avos 6:5. 212 Mishlei 12:1 See more in Mishlei 29:15. 209 Brachos 5a; see also Rav Nissim Gaon, ad loc. 213 Ner 5. See also Ramchal, Derech Hashem 1:4:8-9; Iggeres HaKodesh (Baal HaTanya) §26. 210 Ben Yehoyadah to Brachos 5a. 214 Shabbos 33b. 90 This Too Is For The Best Greatness of Yissurim 91
himself. He went to the bathhouse where Rebbi Pinchas exaggeration. HaRav Friedlander’s remark is readily under- ben Yair (his father-in-law) saw him. Commenting on his stood in light of the above. dismal physical condition, he said, “Woe to me who has seen you like this!” And Rebbi Shimon responded, “Praise- 6. He will merit life in the World to Come worthy are you for seeing me like this, for had you not seen me this way (full of physical calamity), you would As we have mentioned, no pleasure in this world can compare to not have found in me my present spiritual greatness.” the sweetness and delight of the World to Come. A person merits his reward on account of the good deeds he performed during his life. The Gemara points out that before Rebbi Shimon entered the However, there is a precondition: yissurim must precede his entrance cave, Rebbi Pinchas’ would answer his questions in thirteen different to the Next World. The yissurim a person ways. Now, after being in the cave for thirteen years, Rebbi Shimon Yissurim are has through the course of his life serve as was able to answer the questions posed by Rebbi Pinchas. Not only necessary to merit a preparation for entering the Next that, he was able to answer them in twenty-four different ways. the World to Come World. The Sages teach us in the Rebbi Shimon’s answer, “Had you not seen me in this way,” needs Midrash:215 explanation. Should he not have said, “Had I not hidden in the cave and learned Torah from the angel Eliyahu you would not have found Rav Huna said “And behold it was very good.” Our tradi- me thus?” But according to what we have learned, the Gemara is well tion tells us that this is referring to yissurim. Can it be understood. As a result of the yissurim Rebbi Shimon endured in the understood that suffering is very good? Rather, the ex- cave (his parched and cracked skin attesting to this), he became spiri- planation is, that since through suffering we gain life in tually purified to a great degree, and thus became enabled to under- the Next World, therefore it’s considered “very good,” as stand the Torah with great depth and clarity. Rebbi Shimon’s answer Shlomo HaMelech once said, “The way of life is the rebuke was straight and to the point, “Had you not seen me in this way, with of yissurim.” What is the path that brings a man life in all of the suffering, you would not have found me in my present great- the Next World? The Torah states that it is the measure ness.” It was Rebbi Shimon’s yissurim which were the chief catalyst in of yissurim. achieving his mastery of Torah (particularly the esoteric teachings), Since yissurim offer such great dividends, tzaddikim have prayed unsurpassed in his generation. for them, as is recorded in the Midrash:216
HaRav Moshe Samsinovitz, Mashgiach of Kollel Beis Abba, Yitzchak Avinu asked for suffering. He said before once related that HaRav Chaim Friedlander suffered greatly Hashem, “Master of the World! If a man dies without in the last few years of his life. R’ Chaim attested that dur- suffering, he stands to be judged with a strict measure ing this period he grasped more Torah than he had learned of justice (as opposed to being judged with mercy), during a period of thirty years. This was not said by way of but when You bring upon him yissurim (in this world),
215 Bereishis Rabbah 9:8. 216 Bereishis Rabbah §65; see also Bava Metzia 84a. 92 This Too Is For The Best Greatness of Yissurim 93
the attribute of strict justice is removed from him.” be in a hopeless situation. The reason for this being, that Hashem said to him, “By your life, you have requested when a person dies, he goes through the following scenario: a good thing, and I will start with you.” From the be- His soul goes up into the heavens. There he sees a ginning of the book [of Bereishis] until this point, no type of scale. On this scale is weighed all of his deeds suffering is mentioned. But once Yitzchak arose, He that he performed during his sojourn in the world. The gave him suffering, “And it was, that Yitzchak grew good deeds will be weighed against the bad deeds. He old, and he went blind.” hears a heavenly voice call out that every meritorious act that he ever did, should come forth now. The voice rever- As we see, one’s portion of the hereafter is contingent on yis- berates in all places that his soul is rooted. Suddenly, all surim. Why? The answer is, that as long as a person is tainted of the heavenly defending angels created as a result of with the impurity of sin, he cannot enter the World to Come. his mitzvos make their appearance. They take their place Only a person with a pure soul can be admitted. However, the on the right side of the scale, weighing it down. Now an- person with a stained soul can become cleansed. How? One way other heavenly voice proclaims that every sinful act that is through yissurim. They purify a person to the point rendered he ever did should come forth now. Huge multitudes of fitting for entrance. strong creatures clothed and shrouded entirely in black The Ramchal writes clearly:217 appear. They take their place on the left side of the scale. We explained that the purpose of creation is to gather Their numbers easily outweigh the heavenly angels, the a group of perfected people who are deserving of be- scale tips down, pronouncing his guilt. The defending ing permanently attached to Hashem (referring to angels, apart from their numerical inferiority, are also the bliss of the future world), and in order for this weak. This is because they were created as a result of the to occur properly, they all will need to undergo the mitzvos he performed while alive. Since these mitzvos previously-mentioned stages [i.e. the various types of were not performed with the enthusiasm they deserve, physical and spiritual yissurim] to prepare and bring similarly the angels created from them are weakened. about this ultimate end… however, as long as they are This lies in sharp contrast to his sins, which were per- tainted with sin, they are not considered suitable for formed with great happiness and vigor, hence the pow- attachment to Hashem. erful accusers assembled together. He sees this reality unfold before his eyes, and begins to despair. He thinks The Chafetz Chaim writes:218 to himself, “Where am I going to end up? For sure I am going to be declared a wicked man.” In the meantime, I heard from one of the Elders, who himself heard it from another heavenly voice calls out, “Where are all of the Rabbi Yaakov Moshe that said in the name of his grandfa- yissurim that this man endured during his life?” Immedi- ther, the Gaon of Vilna, that if not for yissurim, we would ately, every bit of suffering he ever experienced runs to the right side of the scale. There is a great multitude of 217 Derech Hashem 2:2:4-5. them. They succeed in tipping the scale to the right. He 218 Shem Olam, Part 1, Ch.3. 94 This Too Is For The Best Greatness of Yissurim 95
becomes greatly elated and full of joy, thanking Hashem be embarrassing to receive prophecy without deserving from his very depths for all he was made to endure. The it, akin to a beggar receiving free handouts? reason for this being that the yissurim act as atonement As we know, Hashem is exceedingly merciful and for his sins, and he is rendered righteous as a result.219 desires to bestow merit upon His people who follow His Torah. Accordingly, in the future, when the true great- 7. He will merit future greatness ness of the Jewish People will be recognized, Hashem will have it arranged that they shall not be embarrassed with 220 The Chafetz Chaim writes: free gifts. How so? By prolonging the exile and hiding His It is known that Hashem promised Countenance, and by this, the enemies of the Jewish Peo- By accepting the Jewish People that in the fu- ple have grown strong and their yoke weighs heavily upon suffering, a person ture, all will merit learning Torah them to the point that their livelihood comes to them be- merits future honor, directly from Hashem… and they sieged and embattled, and they endure other difficulties prophesy and the will all merit attaining great levels, and pains each day… as a result of these yissurim, when privilege to learn until all of the Jewish People will in the future Hashem lifts up the pride of the Jewish Torah directly from reach the level of the prophecy, as People and raises them to the level of prophecy and all of Hashem it is written,221 “And it shall be after the goodness that is waiting for them, their faces will not this, I shall pour My spirit upon all pale on account of this, because they in fact are rightfully flesh, and your sons and daughters shall have prophecy…” deserving of this on account of their manifold yissurim This is a most heartening prophecy. Imagine, being a suffered over the course of the exile. These tribulations real prophet … but wait. Is this really fair? To become a purify and refine them to the point that they are fitting prophet required a great deal of preparation. Asceticism, for the powerful and sublime greatness awaiting them. meditation and great self-refinement were the minimal The Jewish People have a very bright future. They will achieve au- 222 requirements. If so, how is it fair that in the future we thentic prophecy and the extraordinary privilege of learning Torah di- will receive “for free” what our ancestors achieved only af- rectly from Hashem. These treasures, however, are not for free. They ter much hard work and efforts? Furthermore, will it not were paid for by the yissurim borne throughout the duration of the exile.
8. He will merit elevation in this world and the next 219 We find in the last words mentioned here, that the yissurim atone and also render one righteous. From here it is evident that yissurim accomplish two things. Since they atone, The Chafetz Chaim writes:223 they eradicate his sins (found on the left side of the scale), while at the same time render one righteous, meaning his merits become increased (they weigh down on the right side). When a person truly accepts upon himself the Divine This can be explained from what we learned before (in Chapter 3), that by accepting yis- surim one fulfills the mitzvah of loving Hashem. Therefore by the end of his life, a person Judgment, Hashem will certainly raise his standing in will have enormous merits resulting from how he accepted his yissurim with grace. this world and the next. This point is gleaned from the 220 Shem Olam, Shaar Hischazkus, Ch. 12. 221 Yoel 3:1. 222 See a detailed explanation of the nature of prophecy in the sefer Shaarei Kedusha Chapter 4. 223 Shmiras HaLashon, Shaar HaTevunah, Ch. 8. 96 This Too Is For The Best Greatness of Yissurim 97
episode concerning King David, when Shimi ben Geira Chafetz Chaim understood his bedside to have the status of a cursed him and threw dust at him. King David’s servants holy place, akin to the grave of a tzaddik.226 wanted to avenge the insult to his honor, but King David In conclusion, it is befitting to conclude this chapter with the stopped them. Instead, he accepted the Divine Judgment timeless words of Rabbeinu Yona. He writes:227 “A person should rejoice with a full heart, recognizing that this could not have hap- over his suffering, for they benefit him in many important ways, and pened unless there was a Heavenly Decree behind it. He he should give thanks for them, as he trusted in Hashem and His mercies. Our Sages have con- He merits great would for any other success.” Upon con- veyed to us how his attitude was greeted in heaven, “At spiritual elevation templation of all the benefits described that moment, King David merited becoming the fourth and closeness to in this chapter, one can readily under- support of the Throne of Glory.” Hashem stand these words. As a result of King David’s acceptance of the Divine Decree, he mer- ited elevation, both in this world and the next. In this world, he was elevated to be returned to his throne and until this day is viewed as one of the greatest kings in the annals of history. In the Next World, he merited a level almost unsurpassed. So too, anyone wise enough to follow the example set by King David — to accept the Divine Decree without reservation — stands to reap the rewards, becoming elevated in this world and the next, each person measured to his own personal circumstance.
9. He will merit extra closeness with Hashem One having yissurim enjoys a special closeness with Hashem.224 “Rebbi Yossi, the son of Rebbi Yehudah says: Yissurim are precious, for the Name of Hashem rests upon the one who endures them, as it is written, ‘Hashem your God causes you yissurim.’” Since He is related to as “your God” regarding one’s yissurim, we see that he has a measure of extra closeness with Hashem.
The Chafetz Chaim used to be careful to pray for a variety of needs at the bedside of a sick person.225 Recognizing the special level of closeness with Hashem that the sick man enjoys, the
226 See also tractate Shabbos 12b which states that the Divine Presence rests above a sick 224 Midrash Sechel Tov, Bereishis 27:1. person. 225 As recorded in the sefer “Customs of the Chafetz Chaim.” 227 Shaarei Teshuvah 2:4. Practical Tips 99
1. It is not a true loss Iyov famously stated,229 “Naked did I leave my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return there; Hashem has given, and Hashem has taken, may the Name of Hashem be blessed.” The Vilna Gaon230 extrapolates from here four different reasons why no man should be pained over what befalls him. “Naked did I leave my mother’s womb” — the Vilna Gaon explains that a person comes into the world without any worldly riches or ac- quisitions. If so, what a person accumulates during his sojourn in this world does not have an intrinsic connection to him, rather they have -5- Material things are only superficial value at the most. One only superficial value who internalizes this will not become so I should not be very upset at the loss of something, as it Practical Tips upset about their loss was something of little intrinsic worth. Just like one is not troubled over the loss of a few cents, so too a person who realizes the vanity of materiality is n Chapter 3, we learned that one who is undergoing yis- not pained over the loss of things, even if they have ‘value.’ To him, surim must not cast doubt on the Divine Judgment, rather their value is not worth much. Material things are not part of the es- he should wholeheartedly accept them. In Chapter 4, we sence of a person. This is the message to be gleaned from the verse, discussed the enormous benefits one who bears this atti- “Naked did I leave my mother’s womb.” tude will accrue. 2. The loss has no real value However, after all is said and done, practically speaking it seems very difficult to really accept some of the great travails of life with a The verse continues with the second lesson, “And naked shall I whole heart. Is there some way that even a ‘regular person’ can do return there.” The Vilna Gaon explains that the Torah is teaching us another reason why one’s material wealth this? If the Torah commands us, it must be something in the grasp of Material things have is really of little value; it does not accom- all, but how so? only temporal value. pany a person to the grave. There are a number of practical pieces of advice and tips in the It makes no sense to Let’s clarify this further. Although teachings of the Torah to help us bring this concept into reality. One be bothered by their in this world we benefit greatly from our who keeps these words in mind during difficult times, will have an loss. easier time accepting his lot without reservation, and thus earn great wealth, it is irrelevant in the Next World, reward. Here are some helpful ideas:228 which is eternal. If we compare one hun-
228 Not all of the points mentioned here apply to every type of yissurim. Some apply only to 229 1:21. material loss, etc. 230 Aderes Eliyahu, ad loc. 100 This Too Is For The Best Practical Tips 101 dred years of life against eternity, it is less than a speck of dust in the 4. All we have is on loan wind! Recognizing this truth, we discover that only the things that will The fourth, and perhaps the most penetrating, of the lessons bring benefit to us in the Next World (i.e. Torah and mitzvos) have real learned from Iyov’s statement, is found in “And Hashem has taken.” value and significance, whereas the material wealth amassed in this The Vilna Gaon comments: world is almost of no consequence. It is only temporary, similar to the plastic cutlery used these days — and surely does not deserve to be Had someone taken something away from me, which he mourned over, as Iyov taught “And naked shall I return there.” had no rights for, I would be greatly pained. However, since Hashem Himself is the One who gives, (and He gives 3. One does not mourn over something acquired without effort it only as a loan) then when he takes something away, it The third teaching we glean from Iyov refers to the phrase, “Hash- is merely taking away what was His all along. In this sce- em has given.” TheV ilna Gaon explains: A person suffers a loss. Why nario there is not anything to be upset about. should he be pained over it? After all, Hashem was the One Who gave We all must view our possessions as borrowed property. Our us the object in the first place, as a man cannot acquire anything with houses and properties, our families and even our own bodies, these his own strength or might. In other words, everything we have is re- are all included in what Hashem gave us conditionally, that He may ally only a conglomeration of gifts given from Hashem. If so, at the take any and all of them back at whatever time He deems fitting. loss of one of these gifts, it is not fitting to become upset. The one who lives with this attitude will not get distressed when This can be compared to a wealthy man who told his good friend suffering a loss and will also merit the World to Come, as we find in that he wanted to give him a gift as a sign of his deep affection for him Tehillim,231 “He has borrowed life from You; You gave him many days.” — a chest full of one hundred dollar bills. The wealthy man promptly The Noam Elimelech explains:232 prepared and sent the chest to his grateful friend. Shortly after receiv- ing the gift, the friend brought the chest to a safe place. Then some- A tzaddik sees the life he is granted in this world as some- thing terrible happened. A fire broke out thing borrowed for a short time. For this reason, he con- Hashem gave me in the city engulfing much of the city, stantly increases his holiness, for he always considers that what I have: easy including the precious chest with all of today might be the day he must return what he has bor- come, easy go its contents. Upon hearing the news, the rowed. This is “He has borrowed life from You.” In this friend was not terribly distraught. He reasoned that although it can- merit “You gave him many days,” that is to say, that he not be denied that he lost a great deal of money, nonetheless it came will thus be granted long life — the World to Come. as a gift, and not of his own efforts, and with this he was at ease about what happened. This idea already finds its place in Avos,233 “Rebbi Elazar, the man None of a person’s possessions were acquired on account of his of Bartosa, says: Give to Him from that which is His, for you and yours own efforts and designs, rather, in truth, they are nothing but a col- lection of gifts from Hashem. One does not get upset at the loss of a gift — “Hashem has given.” 231 21:5. 232 Parshas Vayeira. 233 Avos 3:7. 102 This Too Is For The Best Practical Tips 103 is His. [King] David also said,234 ‘For all comes from You (Hashem), and not give it back to him?” She responded, “Without your from Your hand we give to You.’” Rabbeinu Yona explains: “You are not consent, I would not have given it back.” What did she giving from your possessions, not from your body and not from your proceed to do? She took him by the hand, and led him wealth, but rather from the Omnipresent, Blessed be He, for a man’s up to the bedroom. She then removed the blanket, ex- wealth is a deposit in his hand from Hashem… and he should rejoice posing his two dead sons. Rebbi Meir began to cry. “My very much since he is allowed to benefit from the deposit.”235 son! My son! My Rabbi! My Rabbi! My son, by blood re- The Midrash illustrates this point beautifully:236 lation, and also my Rabbi as I grew so much from their insights in Torah.” At that time she told her husband, It once happened that Rebbi Meir was sitting one Shab- “My Rabbi, did you not instruct me that one must al- bos afternoon, delivering a shiur. In the meantime, his ways return a deposit upon request? Thus we may ap- two sons passed away. What did their mother do? She ply the following verse237 to our situation: ‘Hashem has left the both of them on their beds, and spread a blan- given, and Hashem has taken, may the Name of Hash- ket over them. Upon the depar- em be blessed.’” Rebbi Chanina commented: the wife of ture of Shabbos, Rebbi Meir ar- My possessions were Rebbi Meir successfully consoled her husband and put rived back from the beis midrash. all on loan in the first his mind at ease. Regarding her the verse states,238 “A He asked his wife, “Where are my place; I am grateful woman of valor, who can find?”239 two sons?” She replied, “They to Hashem, even went to the beis midrash.” He re- when He asks for His Incredibly, even when Hashem takes back what is His, it is done torted, “I looked for them there deposit back with great Divine Mercy, and it is befitting to thank the Almighty, and did not see them.” She pro- even as He’s taking it back! How so? The Gemara Yerushalmi explains:240 ceeded to give him the cup for havdalah. After making Rebbi Yudin ben Fila said: This is what Iyov said, “Hashem havdalah he inquired again, “Where are my two sons?” has given, Hashem has taken, may the Name of Hashem She responded, “Sometimes they have a place they go, be blessed.” When He gave, He gave with mercy, and when and they may be arriving back home at any time.” She He took, He took with mercy, [as is indicated by the name proceeded to serve him some food. After eating she in- of Hashem written as the Tetragrammaton]. Not only formed him, “My Rabbi, I have a question to ask you.” that, but when He gives, He does not consult with anyone “Please ask,” her husband said. She proceeded, “Yester- first, but when He takes, He first consults with His court. day someone had come and deposited with me some- Rebbi Elazar said: Anywhere it is written “And Hashem,” thing. Now he has returned to get it back. Should I give it back to him?” Rebbi Meir retorted, “My precious wife, one who has someone else’s belongings should 237 Iyov 1:21. 238 Midrash Mishlei 31:10. 234 Divrei Hayamim 1 29:14. 239 The Midrash proceeds to give the reason why his sons died prematurely. They had habituated 235 for more on this idea see Orchos Tzaddikim, Shaar HaZechirah §19. themselves to ignore the study of the Torah, and indulge (excessively) in eating and drinking. 236 Yalkut Shimoni Mishlei 964. 240 Brachos 9:5. 104 This Too Is For The Best Practical Tips 105
it means “Hashem and His court” [and here in Iyov it like- the Name of Hashem be blessed.” Thanks is given even at the time wise states “and Hashem took”]. of taking, and justly so. Is it not befitting of a borrower to thank the lender, not only at the time of receiving his goods but also at the time It is evident that all of one’s losses are accompanied with Divine of returning them?241 Mercy. Still, how can we be grateful over loss? This parable may help: 5. We do not know how things will turn out Reuven needed a car, and he needed it for long-term use. He arranged to borrow a beautiful car from his good and The Rambam writes,242 “There are many occurrences that seem at trusted friend, Shimon. Shimon, however, made a special first to be beneficial, but in the end turn out to be detrimental. There- stipulation; he reserved the right to recall the car at any fore, the intelligent person should not be overly upset when some- time. Reuven happily agreed and used the car for many thing bad happens, for he knows not what the outcome will be.” years. As time went on, Reuven forgot that the car was It is natural for people confronted with difficulty and pain to see really Shimon’s — he saw himself as the rightful owner. Often, what seems their situation as hopeless. This is an One day, Shimon came to claim the car back. . bad turns out to be a emotional assessment. One might see At first, Reuven was shocked at Shimon’s request, un- blessing in disguise; the evil and feel the pain, but in truth til Shimon reminded him of how he had lent him the car one cannot judge there is no way for him to know where many years previously, and that it was only on condition until all outcomes this suffering will lead. There is no guar- that he could have it back whenever he wanted. Reuven have been realized antee that his hardship will lead to more recalled the details of the agreement, and subsequently of the same. It is entirely possible that apologized for acting ungrateful, recalling the great kind- the present misfortune has set the stage for future gains whose value ness Shimon had shown him by lending him the vehicle in will far exceed the cost of the misfortune that led to it. Both scenarios the first place. He continued to thank Shimon profusely are entirely possible. Therefore, the person who guides his life in ac- from the bottom of his heart for his generosity in lending cordance to the dictates of logic, will on the one hand limit his happi- him such a wonderful automobile for so long, and all of ness at a stroke of good fortune, as the outcome might turn out nega- this without even requesting any compensation at all. tive, while on the other hand, at a stroke of misfortune he will limit
This is the case with all of us. Hashem “lends” a man everything 241 According to this, we gain new understanding of the verse in Tehillim (32:10), “And kind- ness shall surround the one who trusts in Hashem.” If a person trusts in Hashem and he has: his body, his clothes, his property and everything else. Ev- recognizes that he has nothing of his own, and that everything is quite literally a deposit erything is given on condition that He can request it back any time. from Hashem in his hand, then as a direct result, he will suddenly find himself surrounded Meanwhile, a person forgets and thinks that what he has is really his. by Hashem’s kindness. For his very body, clothes and property, all of it is on loan from Hashem in His infinite mercy, and this is “One who trusts in Hashem — automatically — When something happens, it is easy for him to err and think that kindness shall surround him.” Hashem is taking something away from him, and he becomes agitat- This also explains the phrase we recite thrice daily in Shmone Esrei (in modim): “We give ed. The wise person will instead give thanks to the Depositor for His thanks to You and relate Your praises… for the goodness You bestow at every moment, evening, morning and noon.” All a person has, at every moment, is counted among the great kindness in letting him use the deposit in the first place. This is goodness Hashem has given him, without requesting to be reimbursed, however on condi- the meaning of the verse, “Hashem has given, Hashem has taken; may tion to be returned ‘upon request.’ 242 commentary to Mishnah, Brachos 9:5. 106 This Too Is For The Best Practical Tips 107 his disappointment, realizing there are great probabilities that the leave the town and took a position in another, smaller city, difficulties will turn out to be a blessing in disguise. He will reserve whose Jewish community was mostly Chassidic. In the end, judgment until everything has played itself out. his children joined the Chassidic movement, married Chas- The following parable makes this point clear: sidic women and after many years, were appointed Rabbis in various Chassidic communities in Europe, penning works of A certain man accused his business partner of unfairly Torah, from novella to responses. When the Rabbi had been taking more than his share of the profits, which the part- forced to leave town, it seemed like a disaster. However, as the ner vehemently denied. At the hearing, the plaintiff and outcome was still unknown it would have been vain to label it defendant each brought witnesses to confirm their ver- a disaster at the time. In truth, he had no way of knowing that sion of the story. After hearing the accusations and tak- it would prove to be one of the greatest blessings of his life. ing testimony from the plaintiff, the judge turned to the defendant and asked his witnesses to take the stand, but after a few questions it became clear that the witnesses 6. Better people have suffered more were unable to utter a single word. A doctor was sum- We find written in Eichah:244 “How shall I describe you, to what moned, who determined that the witnesses had been shall I compare you, daughter of Jerusalem; to what shall I equate struck by a debilitating illness and were unable to speak, you and console you, maiden daughter of Zion?” The Navi bemoans but that the illness would pass and their speech restored that the scope of the destruction of Yerushalayim was such, that there within a short time. The judge recognized how fruitless was nothing to compare it to. Apart from communicating the great it would be to arrive at a just decision under these cir- tragedy that had befallen us, he brings yet another message. Rashi cumstances and reserved his judgment, rescheduling the explains, “When hardship befalls a person, and someone says to him, hearing for a later date. ‘that also happened to so-and-so,’ for him it is consoling.” That is to say, that Yerushalayim was inconsolable. There was nothing that ever The same is true of misfortune. Each of us is a ‘judge’ when it comes happened which could match the depth of the devastation. to the events that take place in our lives, deciding if what happened was From here we learn a positive lesson. When one contemplates the good or not. The wise judge realizes that at present he cannot accurately suffering of others, particularly the suf- assess the situation due to lack of evidence. The ‘chief witnesses,’ all of Better people fering of others in a worse-off scenario, the outcomes of the event, have not yet ‘given testimony,’ but later they have suffered far one becomes consoled in his lot. This sen- will emerge, and only then may he render a correct decision. worse; who am I to timent is echoed in the words of the Pele The Chafetz Chaim’s son once told the following story he complain? Yoetz:245 “One should think about how the heard from his father:243 A certain community found fault great ones were made to suffer, how the with their Rabbi. One of the complaints against him was upright people have endured poverty, difficulty and pain, [as is record- that his children had joined the Haskalah movement. Due to ed with authority in the Gemara and Midrashim] … and there are also this, the Rabbi endured much derision. He eventually had to 244 2:13. 243 cited in L’shichno Sidreshu, Vol. 1, p. 120. 245 Erech “Aniyus.” 108 This Too Is For The Best Practical Tips 109 many who contended with far more evil and pain than he, though he travail of Binyamin, whom the Viceroy demanded to see]. is no better than they.” Therefore, Yaakov prayed with the name “Eil-Shaddai,” be- Here are a few examples to illustrate the point. Consider, for in- seeching that He who said to heaven and earth, “Enough,” stance, the troubled life of Yaakov Avinu. The Midrash recounts:246 should likewise say to his suffering, “Enough.”
Yaakov had suffered very much — already from when he Our Sages teach253 that Yaakov was the greatest of all of the Patri- was just in his mother’s womb, Eisav fought with him, archs, despite that his life was full of yissurim. Of course, they were all as it is written,247 “The sons quarreled within her.” After- for constructive purposes (as is the case with all yissurim), yet if we wards we learn of his travail in fleeing from his brother reflect on the suffering of our righteous forefather Yaakov, or other Eisav to the house of Lavan, as it states,248 “On account great personalities254 who suffered immensely, we feel consoled as of his brother pursuing him with a sword and subduing our lot pales in comparison, notwithstanding the fact that we are not his mercy.” Upon arrival at Lavan’s house, his difficulties nearly as righteous as they were. continued, “By day, the sun devoured me…”249 When he Consider this true story about Rabbi Yechiel Mordechai Gordon, left, Lavan chased after him to kill him, as it is written,250 Rosh Yeshiva of Lomza and author of Nesiv Yam:255 “He chased after him, a journey of seven days.” He es- Little is known of the background and history of HaRav Gor- caped from him, but Eisav, again, came looking to kill don, how his wife and children were murdered, how the thou- him. On account of Eisav, Yaakov sustained great mon- sands of his students, beloved to him like his own children, etary loss [all of the gifts sent to appease Eisav]. He left were uprooted by the storms of war or about his glorious Ye- Eisav only to endure the episode of Dinah,251 and to go shiva which is no more. His face did not convey pain and sor- on from there to suffer the untimely and tragic death of row. Quite to the contrary, his face shone with strength and his most beloved wife, Rachel. After all of these tragedies, hope, and he always consoled others and encouraged them, Yaakov desired a bit of respite. This was not to be, for blowing renewed vigor into their souls. shortly after the death of his wife, the episode of Yosef’s Once, he bared his heart and revealed the enormity of [kidnapping and sale] transpired, and after that, the pain the loss he had suffered. This was when a Holocaust survivor of losing Yitzchak his father, who died ten years after the came to visit. This man had a son who still was not married selling of Yosef. The Torah says concerning him,252 “I was and he was beside himself over it, as he was already getting not tranquil, and I was not silent; I did not rest, and the on in years. The man described his suffering to the Rosh Ye- fury did come.” Then the travail of Shimon [who was im- shiva, cried over the past, bewailed his present and despaired prisoned by the Viceroy of Egypt — Yosef — and then the of his future. How was it possible to comfort him? The Rosh 246 Midrash Rabbah, Miketz §12. 247 Bereishis 25:22. 253 See Midrash Sechal Tov, Bereishis Ch. 33. 248 Amos 1:11. 254 Take for example King Dovid whose son Avshalom rose up to usurp the kingdom from him 249 Bereishis 31:40. and kill him, or King Chizkiyahu whose son Menashe erected an idol in the Holy of Holies, 250 Bereishis 31:23. or more recently the Brisker Rav and other righteous ones whose families were slaughtered 251 She had forbidden relations, causing great disgrace to the whole family. brutally at the hands of the accursed Nazis. 252 Iyov 3:26. 255 Cf. Orchos Chasidecha, p. 176. 110 This Too Is For The Best Practical Tips 111
Yeshiva began to speak of his life and the manifold tortures difficulties, varying in their nature and intensity. This is the life of he endured, describing them one by one. He spoke of his per- a typical person. One who does not have suffering in his life is a sonal suffering and that of the entire community. The more rare exception. They advise that we should always be prepared for he spoke, the more this man felt his suffering was relatively difficulty, and that if it has not befallen us yet, it is surely on the minor. There was no comparison. He left the Rosh Yeshiva like way. Nitai HaArbeli says,256 “Do not despair of misfortune.” Rashi the rest of them, consoled and with renewed vigor. explains: “If you are wealthy, do not rely upon your wealth, because misfortune comes swiftly.” We find this point made clearly in the 257 7. They are bound to come Sefer HaYoshar: We find in several places that the Torah is compared to light. Light He should prepare himself with strength and fortitude to serves to illuminate dark, to save one from stumbling. Some modern greet misfortune, and think of them even before they ar- Western concepts are part of this darkness. Influenced by them, we rive, and wait for them every day, every hour … he should are living in darkness, as we are absent of say to himself, if trouble does not strike today, it will strike the light of truth. In our modern day so- Life includes tomorrow, and if it does not come tomorrow, then it will ciety we are taught that life is supposed hardship; once come after tomorrow. If he does this, and his eyes and to be almost trouble free. People are not we accept that, heart expect them, then when trouble indeed inevitably supposed to have blemishes, whether difficulties are far arrives, it will not disturb him, neither will he neglect his physical or spiritual. No one is supposed less traumatic Divine Service, for he will be prepared and resigned from to get sick, or suffer any trouble. This lesson is ‘taught’ to us continu- the outset to accept them. This is the way of the tzaddik, ally, without abate. For example, we ‘learn’ this when we read vari- for he thinks and knows that the world is nothing more ous advertisements on billboards and in magazines and hear radio than a conglomeration of misfortune. This being the case, commercials. We see only beautiful people who lead trouble free lives. his eyes and heart should watch for them every moment, Prolonged exposure to this concept leads a person to think that life and this way they will not catch him off guard nor will he is or should be almost trouble free. This is a great mistake. Apart from be frightened when they come. the fact that it is simply not true, it causes a person who has yissurim Amazing! Just the opposite of what so many think. But let us ask: to feel that he has been shortchanged. While everyone else is sailing Why is it so? Why is the world full of such misfortune? through life without problems, here he is with a host of health issues, The answer is that, in fact, we are at fault for almost all of it. How financial woes or social problems. He feels shocked and caught off so? We saw above that most of the troubles a person has is a result of guard when his yissurim come. He becomes afraid when he looks to his own negligence. After that, we have yissurim which come as atone- the blurry future, asking himself, “Where will this lead?” He cannot ment. The vast majority of us, having made mistakes in the past, be it concentrate on his work, needless to say on his prayers. He becomes transgressions of Rabbinic nature or Torah prohibitions, have a price depressed and loses hope. A terrible darkness indeed. to pay. Depending on the nature of the sin, even if a person has al- Our Sages have shone light on the matter. They tell us that life is full of yissurim. The natural course of life is to be fraught with 256 Avos 1:7. 257 Shaar 6. See Rashi on Tehillim 38:18. 112 This Too Is For The Best Practical Tips 113 ready repented, he may still need to endure some measure of yissurim Once, a mother came to Rebbetzin Kanievsky requesting a to gain atonement.258 The Ramban writes,259 “For suffering on account blessing to be redeemed (a y’shua) from her unfortunate lot. of transgression will come, true, reliable and steadfast, for Hashem The Rebbetzin asked what the problem was, to which she re- runs His world with this attribute.” plied, “You see, with thanks to God, I have a large family, Thus, we have two types of people: Those who expect life to twelve children in all, and I feel my house has transformed be a bed of roses, and those who expect life to be full of trials. The into a hospital. If it is not one child there is another who is difference between the two is evident at the onset of a setback. The sick, or needs to see a doctor about something. There always former type becomes upset and frustrated. He has been knocked seems to be some sort of problem.” The Rebbetzin took in off balance and might take a while to regain his foothold. In the the request to her husband, Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky. Upon meantime, he ‘is not himself’ and cannot function properly. The listening to her plight, he responded, “I do not understand latter is not at all surprised, quite to the contrary, he has been the problem. You have just described life in a typical Jewish expecting hard times. He copes with his setbacks with great ease, household!” having resigned himself for some years now that all of this is to be expected as part of life. 8. Yissurim — a powerful remedy Consider this parable: We find a great insight in Sefer HaLikutim:260 Two children, Reuven and Shimon, were walking in a great forest, when suddenly the sky became overcast and It is befitting for you to know, that yissurim benefit a per- it started to rain heavily. They had nowhere to take shel- son’s soul in the same way that medicine cures an illness. ter. Reuven began to complain, “Today was supposed to God decrees yissurim on a person, which are precisely be fun and exciting, but now it is spoiled. By the time we designed to cure the soul of the specific sins it has per- get home, we will be drenched and muddy.” For his part, formed. Accordingly, the yissurim heal and strengthen an Shimon continued walking along calmly, as if nothing had otherwise weakened and compromised soul. Therefore, happened. Reuven asked him, “How can you be so happy? a person who complains of his yissurim and rejects their Our wonderful hike is ruined.” Shimon said, “Yesterday, goodness, is akin to a sick person who rejects choice medi- I listened to the weather report. It said that heavy rains cine. There is no greater foolishness than this. were to be expected. I made up my mind to hike as much A man with a disease is resigned to go through a treatment, albeit as I could, and if it should get rained out, so be it.” painful, in order to be cured. He is prepared to pay enormous amounts of money for this. This is the case even We all need to know that the life forecast is for scattered show- Yissurim help ‘cure’ ers with a possibility of thunderstorms. Bearing this in mind we are our souls of their where his suffering through the treat- resigned and prepared for all types of weather. ‘sicknesses’ ment is guaranteed, but the cure is not! He is willing to take the risks.
258 See more on this in tractate Yoma 86a. 260 Authored by Rabbi Moshe Dovid Volley (one of the foremost disciples of the Ramchal), at 259 Introduction to Sefer Iyov. the end of his section on yissurim. 114 This Too Is For The Best Practical Tips 115
How much more so should one be wholeheartedly resigned to re- In conclusion, the one who contemplates the above men- ceive Hashem’s yissurim, which come for free and are certain to cure. tioned points will find it easier to resign himself to accepting the Divine Justice involved in his yissurim. However, it does not stop 9. Yissurim do not last forever there. We will discuss in the next chapter how a regular person If a person finds himself facing a difficult situation, it is a can be rendered capable of going further and even rejoice in his good thing for him to bear in mind that without any shadow of suffering. a doubt, there will be an end to his yissurim. The Steipler Gaon writes:261“You should always remember in times of difficulty, that all this will pass with time, and you need to know that everything that Hashem does is for the best.” This, in fact, is an explicit verse, as it says262 “I shall not quarrel forever, nor be angry always.” The Gemara263 reveals a most fascinating truth:
This is the way of yissurim, when they are decreed to be delivered to a person, they are put under oath264 to visit their individual only on a specific day (no sooner nor later), and similarly they are put under oath not to leave the afflicted person until an appointed day and hour. They may only leave by means of a particular person in accordance with the medicine he has prescribed.265
Yissurim can make life painful. Re- Yissurim do not last alizing that for sure there is a light at forever; there is light the end of the tunnel takes the edge at the end of the off the pain. tunnel
261 Krayna d’Igresa §92. 262 Yeshayah 57. 263 Avodah Zarah 55a. 264 That is to say that the angel presiding over the yissurim is made to vow, as the Maharsha explains in his Chiddushei Aggados there. 265 In light of the above quote, one might erroneously be led to believe that once yissurim are decreed, there is not anything to be done until they have run their full course. This is most certainly not the case, as the Maharsha writes (in his Chiddushei Aggados there), “Repen- tance, prayer and charity definitely can remove the evil decree, causing it to be nullified even before its set time, and can annul the oath that the angel took. However, the man who does not take advantage of these options (repentance etc), will suffer in accordance with the oath.” Rejoicing over Yissurim 117
and goodness of heart in the specific portion that Hashem has pre- pared for him, whether it is good or bad.”269 Is accepting yissurim happily beyond a regular person’s grasp, something reserved for only the select few? Certainly not! If a person will invest effort, he will see that he also is capable of receiving yis- surim without reservation, appreciate and even be happy with them. This is not a mere theory. It has been tried and tested, and has practical application for each of us. What is the secret? If one contem- plates the great Divine Kindnesses involved with the yissurim process, the abundance of mercy coupled with the enormous benefits, he sees his troubles as fortunes in disguise. His troubles are in place of mani- -6- fold losses. Who would not be happy? Here is a collection of some of the kindnesses involved in yissurim. Rejoicing over Yissurim Contemplate each one, and see for yourself how you receive your next trial. Note that this is at best only a partial list, as when trying to as- certain the extent of Divine Kindness, we must realize that we have only just scratched the surface. For every drop that we know, there is person who is able to exhibit happiness in his por- an ocean of kindness that we do not know. These great kindnesses and tion of yissurim has risen to a great level. He is a gains come in four categories. most distinguished person. He enjoys life in this world, while looking forward to great blessing in the 1. His sins will be atoned next. He will be considered among the elite who have been called in 2. The privilege of serving the King Heaven as ‘those who love Hashem’. He may be unrecognized in 3. Remembering the benefits of yissurim this world, but in the World to Come he will shine like the sun at 4. All that Hashem does is for the best noon, as our Sages say:266 “It is written All of us can learn of those who rejoice in suffering,267 to accept yissurim 1. His sins will be atoned ‘Those who love Him, shall emerge as happily — it is not We explained before that yissurim (except those of negligence) are the sun in its brilliance.’” This great just for tzaddikim an atonement for sin. Let us gain a greater appreciation of this. The man is considered truly wealthy, as we Midrash states,270 “Yissurim are precious, for they appease Hashem are taught in Pirkei Avos:268 “Who is wealthy? He who is happy with his portion,” and Rashi explains, “He possesses freedom of spirit 269 concerning a person who suffers from sickness. If he is able to be accept his lot with happiness, he merits that his strength will not wane, and that he will overcome his 266 Shabbos 88b. illness. This is evident from Mishlei (18:14) with the commentaries of Rashi and the 267 Shoftim 5:31. Vilna Gaon respectively. 268 4:1. 270 Midrash Tehillim §94. 118 This Too Is For The Best Rejoicing over Yissurim 119 more than sacrifices. A sin-offering and a guilt-offering only atone for can a person correct what was already done? For example, the particular sin for which they were brought, whereas yissurim can if one has killed a man, or if he has engaged in immoral- atone for everything.” Similarly, we learn in the Gemara:271 ity, how is it possible to correct such a thing? How can he remove the deed from reality? What was done was done. Just as a single tooth or eye, which is but a single part of Still, the attribute of Divine Mercy grants the a human body, [its loss] sets a slave free; yissurim, which opposite of the three things we have mentioned. The affect the entire body, all the more so! And this is the les- sinner is not eliminated from the world immediately son taught by R’ Shimon ben Lakish… “Yissurim eliminate upon sinning, rather time is given. The punishment itself all of a person’s transgressions.” is not commensurate to the severity of the sin, rather it Note that Rebbi Shimon ben Lakish said that yissurim can elimi- is mitigated with mercy. And, repentance is granted to nate “all of a person’s transgressions” — every last misdeed commit- sinners as a pure act of kindness, so that uprooting one’s ted over the span of an entire life!272 A very powerful statement. willingness [to sin], is treated as uprooting the [sinful] act One can learn another point from the words of R’ Shimon ben itself. Lakish. He mentioned “transgressions.” In the original Hebrew text Rabbeinu Yona expounds:275 -Avon’ trans‘ .(עון) ’the word used is ‘avon gressions are to be contrasted to ‘Chait’ Yissurim bring A person is obligated to think and to realize that the mis- ,transgressions. ‘Chait’ implies atonement fortune that finds him and the suffering that visits him (חטא) an unintentional misdeed, whereas the are not on par with the severity of his transgression or the word ‘avon’ has more gravity, implying an intentional misdeed.273 In multitude of his sins. Hashem sends yissurim with great light of this, we see that yissurim are so potent that they can atone for compassion as a father would his son, as it is written,276 even transgressions committed intentionally — and all the more so “Know in your heart, that as a man chastises his son (out for unintentional misdeeds. of love), so too Hashem your God sends you yissurim.” There is more. The Ramchal writes:274 Hashem tells us,277 “Your heart knows the misdeeds you have done, and the suffering I have brought upon you, In terms of strict justice, a sinner should rightfully be and that I have not punished you to the severity of your punished immediately upon transgressing without any misdeeds.” lapse of time at all. Furthermore, the punishment itself ought to be meted out with fury, as is appropriate for one Although a person might deserve a great punishment, he can who has disobeyed the order of the Creator, and no pos- merit to have much less suffering, and yet still accomplish the same sibility of correcting the sin ought to exist. After all, how atonement. The Midrash explains,278 “It can be that if a man trans- gresses a sin whose punishment is death by Divine Decree, his cow 271 Brachos 5a. See also the Mechilta of Rabbi Yishmael Parshas Yisro 10. 272 In fact, yissurim have the ability to atone also for previous incarnations of one’s soul, an 275 Shaarei Teshuvah 4:13. assertion commonly found in the kabbalistic writings. 276 Devarim 8:5. 273 Cf. Mishnah Berurah 621 §17. 277 Yalkut Shimoni, Shemos §303. 274 Mesilos Yesharim end of Ch. 4. 278 Pesikta §25:161. 120 This Too Is For The Best Rejoicing over Yissurim 121 will die, or his chicken will be lost, or his jug will shatter, or he will stub Hashana and Yom Kippur are a period of immense Divine Mercy, and his toe. A portion of one’s soul is counted as the entire soul.” thus, Hashem accepts the kaparos in lieu of other punishments the Absolutely incredible! Even the mere loss of one’s belongings or person actually deserved, considering what happens to the chicken as the pain of stubbing a toe can (at times) be considered a fitting substi- though it happened to the person himself.281 tute for much more serious punishments. In light of this Midrash we Through yissurim, one is spared from a more serious form of pun- may understand an otherwise perplexing piece of Gemara:279 ishment. However, it does not stop there. This form of Divine Kind- ness is not restricted only to the myriad sufferings of this world, rath- Rav Yosef expounded: What is meant by what is writ- er it extends also to exempt a person (at least in part) from the greater ten, “I shall thank you Hashem, for You exhibited anger punishments of the Next World. The Baal HaTanya explains:282 towards me, turn back Your anger and console me?” The verse is understood with the following true story. Once The reason for rejoicing over physical suffering is that it there were two men who embarked on a business trip on brings a great advantage to the person in need of atone- board a ship. On their way to the ship one of the men ment, since it facilitates an atonement of sin from his soul in was stabbed by a thorn, and was prevented from con- this world. With this he becomes spared from the purifica- tinuing his journey as a result. He began to curse and tion process rendered by visiting Gehinom. [This point holds bewail. After a few days, he heard that the boat sank at particular relevance to our times, since we do not have the sea. No survivors. Upon hearing this he began to give strength to fast the appropriate number of times the Arizal thanks and praise. delineates to cleanse the soul of each particular sin and spare it from the cleansing of Gehinom.] Rather, since this world is The Gemara implies that as a result of being stabbed by the thorn, built on kindness, a small amount of suffering here in this the surviving merchant was saved from death. However, if the surviv- world can spare a person from many harsh punishments in ing merchant really deserved to die, why was he spared? The answer the Next World. This can be compared to the shadow of the is derived from the aforementioned Midrash. Sometimes, even stub- sun. Although the shadow only moves a handbreadth on bing one’s toe can be in place of death. If so, we may say that really the the ground, even so it represents a movement of the sun of second merchant also deserved to die, but in the merit of his good many thousands of miles. The same is true of reward and deeds Hashem had mercy on him and the thorn served as a substitute punishment, multiplied many times over. for the death penalty, as surely we can assume that a thorn stab is no less than a stubbed toe. Just as an elongation of a shadow (cast by the sun) of only a few Similarly, with this Midrash in mind Yissurim can prevent centimeters represents a movement of the sun of several thousands we gain new insight in the age old custom greater suffering in of miles, so too, a little bit of yissurim in this world removes an enor- of kaparos280 on the eve of Yom Kippur. The this world and the mous amount of future suffering. Ten Days of Repentance between Rosh World to Come In order to gain an appreciation of what it means to gain an exemption of suffering from the Next World one must understand 279 Niddah 31a. 280 The custom is to take a chicken on the eve of Yom Kippur and wave it over one’s head, and 281 See Mishnah Berurah Simon 605 s.p.2. then send it to get ritually slaughtered and be eaten by a poor family. 282 Iggeres HaTeshuvah Ch. 12 122 This Too Is For The Best Rejoicing over Yissurim 123 what suffering is really like. The Ramban in his commentary to Sefer There was once a terminally ill man lying on his deathbed, Iyov writes:283 suffering incredibly. Were it not for the various life support instruments he was attached to, he would surely have passed If God should strip a person of all the good that this world away some time ago. The doctor treating him, seeing that he has, and in its stead he should suffer all of his days as Iyov had no chance of recovery and that he was suffering so much, suffered… still, it is better to endure such suffering and be decided it was about time to disconnect the poor man from life spared Gehinom, for if one were to pass away without full support. The man died shortly after. atonement he will perforce be made to receive his judg- After a few days, the dead man appeared to the doctor in ment in the world of souls, in the purgatory of Gehinom a dream. He said, “Heaven had given me another four days to (which eclipses all suffering of this world many times over, live attached to life support. I was meant to suffer intensely as will be explained). those four days. This would have purified me completely, and The Chafetz Chaim284 writes in a similar vein: I would have been able to enter Gan Eden directly. But now, since you disconnected me and caused me to die prematurely, I Our Sages state:285 “Those that pass through the valley still require the suffering of those four days, and I do not know of tears [Gehinom] shall make it a wellspring, for they how much time it will take to clear away the remainder of my (those who still need atonement) shed tears like the sins.” [The doctor was so shaken by the dream that he repented river that flows from the libation holes on the Altar.” It and began to meticulously observe the dictates of the Torah.] is known, too, that the fire of the first level of Gehinom is sixty times hotter than the fire we know. The fire of the second level of Gehinom is sixty times hotter than Suffering comes a little at a time the first level, and so it continues through all the [seven] Among the host of Divine Mercies involved with yissurim is the levels … it is also known that the punishment of gilgul286 fact that they accomplish what they need to over a period of time and is more harsh than the punishment of Gehinom. not in one fell blow. In other words, suffering comes in “installments.” Compared to the harrowing torture awaiting a person in the Rabbeinu Yona writes:288 Next World, yissurim look better and better. Every little ache and When yissurim come, they come little by little, until the pain endured down here represents a colossal exemption from blemish caused by the transgressions have dissipated, as horrible suffering in the future. Consider the following true it is written,289 “Only you have I known, of all the fami- story:287 lies of the earth; therefore I will visit upon you all of your transgressions.” Our Sages explain,290 “This may be com- 283 Introduction, Ibid. pared to a man who gave loans to two people, one of them 284 Shmiras HaLashon, Shaar HaTevunah §8. 285 Eiruvin 19a. 286 A different type of punishment found in the Next World to cleanse the soul. 288 Shaarei Teshuvah 4:13. See also Shem Olam, p. 265. 287 conveyed by R’ Yaakov Galinsky, as brought in “L’shichno Tidreshu,” section Mizkeinim Es- 289 Amos 3:2. bonan pg 47. 290 Avodah Zarah 4a. 124 This Too Is For The Best Rejoicing over Yissurim 125
a friend, and the other an enemy. From his friend, he work with sound success, to improve a person’s welfare. There is no allowed to be repaid slowly, but from his enemy, he took goodness in this world which can compare to yissurim. back the money all at once.” 2. The privilege of serving the King TheAlshich points out,291 “From the Jewish People, Hashem exacts The Tur296 writes that since accepting yissurim with a whole heart payment for their sins each day. It is not like this for the idolaters. is classified as a mitzvah, one should thus be happy to accept yissurim, [Hashem] holds back and all their sins accumulate into the future, as this is a means of serving Hashem. What greater a privilege in the such that they will be unable to survive the punishment, which is de- world can there be than to be busy upholding the orders of the King livered in one fell blow.” of Kings? This is further explained in the Sefer Mizrach Hashemesh292 which This point is further explained in Orchos Tzaddikim:297 points out that the measure of Divine Kindness overcomes the mea- sure of strict judgment with regard to Yissurim come piece When a person performs [one of] the mitzvos, he should the Jewish People. Therefore, we outlast by piece, allowing us feel joy in his heart over the privilege he has been given all our troubles. However, regarding the to withstand them to serve the Exalted King to whom the Heavenly hosts wicked nations of the world, the opposite prostrate themselves. holds true: The measure of strict judgment overcomes the measure of Divine Kindness, and thus they are destroyed immediately once their We can appreciate this idea even better from the words of the Pele 298 measure [of sin] is full, as it is written,293 “For I will annihilate all the Yoetz: peoples where I scattered you, but you I shall not annihilate [rather, I Then he will feel ever greater joy on having the privilege 294 shall punish you accordingly, but I shall not completely destroy you]. of being the servant of the superior, awesome King, Yissurim are not instruments reflecting Divine Wrath and Anger, Whose excellence cannot be fathomed, and Who chose rather they reflect Divine Love and Compassion, serving to heal and us from among all the peoples, 295 Accepting cleanse a person’s soul. Rabbeinu Yona compares having yissurim to a yissurim and over all the Heavenly hosts; with a whole heart woman who has a blemish on her face. Most certainly she is not pained Who desires us and Who loves is a mitzvah — and a over the removal of it. Quite to the contrary, she is happy about it. So us… This is a privilege that has no way to serve the King too when one has yissurim, it is fitting to be happy over them, as they equal to the person who ponders 291 Eichah 1:22. the greatness of the Creator, in contrast to the lowliness 292 Authored by Rav Moshe Dovid Walli. Ch. 8. of mankind. From these thoughts, he will come to know 293 Yirmiyahu 46:28. 294 This brings us to a very deep and important idea. Which nation has suffered as much as the Jews? Persecutions, pogroms, anti-Semitism, the Holocaust… a person could look at our history and conclude that we are despised by God, Heaven forbid. After all, if He really loved us so much, we would not suffer so much! In truth, our suffering proves the exact opposite. The fact that we have received so many yissurim throughout history is in fact a sign of Divine Love for us. God is exacting His dues in a series of payments made over the 296 Orach Chaim 222:3. course of the long term, in order to guarantee our survival here, and in the World to Come. 297 Shaar HaSimchah. 295 On Mishlei 20:30 and 3:12. 298 Erech “Ahavah laKadosh Baruch Hu.” 126 This Too Is For The Best Rejoicing over Yissurim 127
and recognize that it is a wonderful thing that [Hashem] in serving the needs of a mortal person, all the more so is it a great has chosen us and drawn us into His service. honor to be enlisted in the service of Hashem.
Similarly the Ramchal writes:299 “This is the true joy, over which 3. Remembering the benefits of yissurim a man’s heart should leap… to occupy himself with Hashem’s To- The Midrash says:302 “‘Remember the days of old.’ Moshe was tell- rah and His mitzvos, for these [lead to] true perfection and eternal ing the people, ‘Anytime Hashem sends upon you suffering, remem- eminence.” It is evident that nothing can be better than using one’s ber all the good and consolation that He will grant you later, in the time and energies to fulfill Hashem’s mitzvos. They are of the highest Next World.’” Similarly we find in another order. Therefore it only follows that one should be happy when he is It is easier to accept Midrash,303 “When I (Hashem) bring upon presented with the opportunity to serve God by doing a mitzvah. As suffering if we you suffering, remember the reward I will accepting yissurim is a mitzvah, one should be happy about the op- remember all the give you on account of it.” It is worth our portunity presented. benefits we gain from time to consider the positive value of yis- Two further points need to be made on the topic: First of all, the it surim, even as we find ourselves in the fact that one should be happy over the privilege to serve Hashem ap- midst of them. By doing so we will find it easier to accept them whole- plies to doing all mitzvos, including mitzvos of Rabbinic origin.300 All of heartedly, and possibly even to rejoice over them. them share a common denominator; they are a way of serving the Note: The benefits of yissurim have been elaborated on in Chapter Master of the Universe. What a privilege and what joy! 4, and have been summarized in Chapter 9. Secondly, not only is it a tremendous merit and advantage to A true story:304 be able to attend to the wishes of Hashem, it is also a great honor. A servant is held in esteem according to the prestige of his master, It was during the final moments before Rebbi Avraham305 much as an employee is held in esteem returned his soul to his Maker. He had been extremely sick It is an honor to according to his boss or the company for several weeks, and endured intense suffering. Still, he serve God he works for. We see this regarding the never once groaned, until his wife saw him in his terrible episode of the burial of Sarah: Sarah had condition and began to cry, saying, “Oy, that I see you in just passed away, and Avraham needed to acquire a burial plot. He such a condition!” was interested in using the cave of the Machpelah, which was situ- Rebbi Avraham swiftly replied, “Over what are you ated in the estate of Efron ben Tzochar. Rashi301 informs us that the crying? Over the great gift that Hashem has given me? If very day that Avraham was in need of the plot, the townspeople el- I had the strength, I would leap and dance with every type evated Efron to a position of prominence. As a result of Efron being of musical instrument over the fabulous goodness that He needed by the great Avraham, he was automatically seen as a pres- has done for me with this suffering, and you spurn this tigious person, and thus became duly promoted. If this is the case
302 Sifri Devarim §310. 299 Mesilos Yesharim Ch. 19. 303 Midrash Tanaim, Devarim §32. 300 See Shabbos 23a. 304 Mentioned in the preface to his sefer, Maalos HaTorah. 301 Bereishis 23:10. 305 Brother of the Vilna Gaon and author of the sefer “Maalos HaTorah.” 128 This Too Is For The Best Rejoicing over Yissurim 129
wonderful gift of mine!” Rebbi Avraham remained firm in a generous measure of Divine Mercy as well. This measure of mercy his fiery joy until his pure soul departed. outweighs the measure of strict justice. One may ask: If we do not know what the kindnesses of the yis- 4. All that Hashem does is for the best. surim are, how can we really appreciate them and be grateful for them? The Ramchal,312 on the verse “Turn back Your anger and have mercy 306 Rav Huna said, “A man should accustom himself to say, ‘All that upon me,”313 explains: Hashem does if for the best.’” In Chapter 5, we saw that it is illogical to immediately judge yissurim as being negative. This is because it still [We see mercy follows after the travail]… for Hashem has yet to be seen what the outcomes of this occurrence might be. If will make known His ways in the future to all of the Jew- misfortune brings great bounty, then retroactively the difficulty was ish People, how even the rebukes and the suffering were really a blessing. Therefore, logic dictates that one should suspend nothing but good opportunities and really served to pre- judgment until the outcomes have become clear. This fact is self-evi- pare them for blessing, for Hashem wants only that His dent. However, in the Torah we find a fascinating twist to this theory: creation should reach perfection, and He does not push In reality, the outcomes of all yissurim are always good. So good, that away the wicked with both hands, on the contrary, He pu- they outweigh the difficulty endured by many. This holds true for ev- rifies them in the furnace to mend them, that they should ery individual having yissurim.307 emerge clean of any blemish. This principle is rooted in Sefer Bereishis308 when Yosef offers words The Ramchal further writes,314 of comfort and forgiveness to his brothers after they had betrayed him. He tells them, “You thought evil Everything that On the day of the Great Judgment, the blessed Lord will re- against me; God planned it for the best.” happens — without veal before all of His creation all that has transpired from the This statement holds true not just in exception — is for day God created man on the earth, until that very day [of the case of Yosef and his brothers, but the best Judgment], and everyone will then recognize the straight- was meant to be taken as a statement ness of His judgment in each and every act, great and small. of fact for all yissurim. We find it written,309 “Hashem is Elohim.” The Ohr HaChaim310 reveals the depth of the statement. Even though the If a person never understood or saw the goodness behind his yis- name “Elohim” relates to the attribute of strict judgment, still, there is surim (or those of others), he need not fear, because in the future, mercy clothed in it. (Alluded to by the Tetragrammaton ‘Hashem’).311 God will openly reveal their manifold blessings for all to see. Taking Thus, in every case of Divine Justice (yissurim) contained therein is this lesson one step further, when a person is faced with yissurim, he ought to be happy just as he would be over any other good thing that 306 Brachos 60b. happens to him. What difference is there if he sees how it is good now, 307 As was mentioned before in Chapter 3. While one accepts his yissurim he is allowed to mourn his loss. However, when analyzing the results of the loss, this can serve to very or later? It definitely is good, and eventually he will understand how. much mitigate the trauma of the loss, and help to accept the loss. The following parable makes the point well: 308 50:20. 309 Devarim 4: 35. 312 Daas Tevunos §54. 310 Bereishis 1:1. 313 Yeshayah 13:1. 311 See Sefer HaTanya p. 33, for a deep insight regarding this. 314 Daas Tevunos §170. 130 This Too Is For The Best Rejoicing over Yissurim 131
Once there was a very wealthy, generous and kindhearted earns for himself a most envious blessing: He will merit to see — man. He was a master biologist, specializing in DNA permu- while he is still alive — how his suffering is a blessing in disguise. He tations. As a renowned expert in his field, he enhanced the will grasp the covert goodness in his yissurim. The Baal HaTanya in Ig- flavors of fruits, and rendered produce immune to pestilence geres HaKodesh states,315 “[Therefore,] the believer will not be troubled and disease, amongst other things. Now, this man had a son over the suffering which befalls him, but will rather regard all of his whom he loved without rival. As a display of his love he used matters, whether positive or negative, as equal in his eyes… and with to give his son presents as only he could give. He always gave this earnest belief, all becomes for him obviously good…”316 one of two types of presents: fruit trees or thorn bushes. When The Chafetz Chaim used to gently correct people if they said to his son received his first fruit tree, he rejoiced over it, recogniz- him “something bad happened” or “something terrible hap- ing the obvious goodness at hand. However, when he received pened.” He explained to them that it is better to say that his first thorn bush, he was puzzled and confused. What good “something hard or difficult hap- is a thorn bush? His confusion dissipated once the thorn bush The Chafetz Chaim pened.” The reason for this being, that went into bloom. His father, with all of his genius, altered the says, “Don’t say “bad” or “terrible” implies absolute DNA of the thorn in a way that made it produce the most ex- ‘things are bad;’ bad with nothing good. Whereas travagant of flowers. After the flowers came the fruits, which rather, say ‘things “hard” or “difficult” does not negate eclipsed the taste of typical fruits many times over. Over the are hard’” the possibility of still being good.317 course of time he had come to receive many different types of his father’s thorn bushes. Each thorn bush had its own special Note: Some of the manifold blessings found in yissurim have been set of qualities, they were all customized. No two were alike. mentioned. The Sages have praised the lot of the ‘baal yissurim.’ Based The father showered his son with these types of gifts for all of on this, one might be lead to think that if one has yissurim, or some- his life. The son, after having caught on to his father’s pattern one else has yissurim, there is no reason to try to escape them or pray of gifts, used to be happy with the thorn bushes with the same for their leave. After all, are they not really a great blessing? The faulti- joy as getting the fruit trees, as he could rely on his brilliant ness of this logic will be discussed in Chapter 8. and loving father that the thorns would always bring in their wake some great blessing and bounty.
Hashem our God gives all of us fruit Sometimes, thorn trees (things that happen which are obvi- bushes are more ously good) or thorn bushes (things that valuable than fruit happen where the good is not obvious). trees Should we not be as happy with the thorn bushes as we are with the fruit trees? 315 ch. 11. The person who masters the concept that everything is ultimately 316 case examples of this point can be found in tractate Taanis 21a concerning Nachum Ish for the good, even if this goodness is hidden from the eyes of man, Gam Zu. 317 As related in the sefer “Customs of the Chafetz Chaim.” Substitutes for Yissurim 133
A) Self-affliction — self-proclaimed fasts, ritual immersion and similar tools. B) Mitzvos — there are certain mitzvos which (apart from the perfection they add to a person’s soul), heal a person’s soul. Thesemitzvos can heal a person’s soul in the same capacity as yissurim. It should be noted, that nei- Sins are compared to ther self-affliction nor mitzvos atone if diseases; diseases can they are not preceded by a person’s sin- have many cures cere repentance.320 Although yissurim themselves are of great benefit, nonetheless, if a person can achieve the same objective in an easier way, this is obvi- -7- ously preferable. Here one faces a choice: what type of remedy should a person choose? Self-affliction or mitzvos? Our Sages teach that it is Substitutes for Yissurim far better to involve oneself in mitzvos than to self-inflict oneself. As the Shaarei Teshuvah recommends,321 “If a man has transgressed… he should set his heart toward fulfilling those mitzvos that protect from suffering.” It is well-known that the Baal Shem Tov and his disciples e learned in Chapter 2 that the main reason one discouraged fasting and other self-afflictions, preferring rather to ful- has yissurim is to purify one’s soul from the spiri- fill the mitzvos with immense joy and happiness. tual blemishes accrued from transgressing the To- There are two reasons for this: First of all, today’s generation is rah. Indeed, these blemishes can be considered as a much weaker than previous generations, both physically and spiritu- 318 sickness of sorts, as it is written: “Heal my soul, for I have sinned ally. As a result, a person who engages in against you.” In the world of medicine, there can be several remedies The best substitute self-affliction is prone to becoming easily for one disease. Similarly, Hashem, in His great kindness and fore- for yissurim is agitated or angry. If this occurs, nothing thought, provided us with additional mitzvos, not self- has been gained. Secondly, by involving Self-afflictions and ways to remove these soul-blemishes. By afflictions himself in mitzvos, one is getting a lot mitzvos can replace taking these ‘remedies,’ one can diminish more out of his investment. Apart from atonement, one also gains the the need for yissurim the amount of yissurim otherwise neces- reward for the mitzvah fulfilled, as the Steipler writes: sary, and sometimes even preclude the need for yissurim altogether.319 What are these remedies? There are two general categories. 320 We find this point made by several Rishonim. The Ritvah (Rosh HaShanah 16b) likens a per- son who seeks atonement without repentance to a person who dunks in the mikvah while 318 Tehillim 41:5. still holding a sheretz (a defilement). See Rambam in Hilchos Teshuvah 2:3, Shaarei Teshuvah 319 See Tomer Devorah Ch. 1, Vilna Gaon on Mishlei Ch. 27, verse 6, sefer Shomer Emunim and 1:19, and Orchos Tzaddikim in Shaar HaTeshuvah. Pele Yoetz Erech Yissurim for an elaborate discussion. 321 4:11. 134 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 135
The Midrash says:322 “Rebbi Alexandri said: You will find 2. Charity no man that has no suffering. Praised is the man whose Although we are all familiar with this mitzvah, many of us do not suffering comes to him through the Torah…” That is, recognize its greatness. Hashem, in His loving kindness, bestowed in one’s portion of suffering is coming in any case. Praised the mitzvah of charity incredibly great powers. Apart from the Gan is he who keeps the Torah’s path, for the suffering that Eden a person merits, he also merits atonement on a grand scale. In- was destined to befall him will be considered as though deed, we find in Sefer HaTanya326 that amongst all of the mitzvos that are it already befell him through his efforts in keeping the contingent on action, the mitzvah of charity is the greatest of them all. Torah’s mitzvos. With this he merits everlasting reward Our Sages say,327 “More than the benefactor does for the pauper, in the Next World on account of the mitzvah performed, the pauper does for the benefactor.” How can this be understood? The and all the suffering borne through fulfilling the mitzvah Gemara explains that this is true even if the benefactor does so sole- will be considered an enormous purification. ly to benefit from charity’s dividends, as the Sages say,328 “One who As was noted, the recommended ‘remedy’ to preclude yissurim is stipulates, ‘this coin will go to charity so that my son should live,’ is performing the mitzvos. The following list are mitzvos which are par- perfectly righteous.”329 Let us learn about some of the outstanding ticularly noted for their property to atone for transgression:323 components of giving charity and understand what the pauper does for the benefactor. 1. Excelling in Shabbos Observance Rebbi Elazar said,330 “In the days when our Holy Temple stood, a “Rebbi Chiyya bar Abba said in the name of Rebbi Yochanan: man would make a donation to the Temple and be atoned. Now that Anyone who keeps Shabbos properly, even if he worships idols as the Temple does not stand, if he gives charity, he finds himself in good 331 in the days of Enosh, he will be forgiven.” We have a tradition from stead.” Similarly we find in the Midrash that as a result of charity, a the Arizal324 that the perspiration which person attains atonement even for sins committed intentionally. 332 results from exertion in Shabbos prepa- Keeping Shabbos The Gemara writes, “Four things tear up an evil decree. They are: rations has the power to erase a per- properly brings charity, prayer, changing one’s name and changing one’s deeds.” Our son’s sins, just as tears do. Bearing this atonement Sages make a fascinating observation — Rebbi Chiyya bar Abba taught in mind, we gain new impetus to learn the laws of Shabbos down to the finest detail. By fulfilling these laws, apart from earning great 325 reward, one’s sins will be atoned. 326 ch. 37. 327 Vayikra Rabbah 34:8. 322 Bamidbar Rabbah §92. 328 Bava Basra 10 b. 323 Of course it goes without saying that the chief reason for doing any mitzvah is because it 329 This statement is qualified. He is considered perfectly righteous on condition that even if is God’s Will. However, we see in many places in the Torah that the dividends for certain the desired outcome fails to materialize, he does not regret giving the charity. If he should mitzvos, such as long life, have been revealed to us. This encourages us to perform mitzvos. regret having done the mitzvah, he will have transgressed the dictum (Avos 1:3), “Do not Therefore, there is nothing wrong in doing a mitzvah with the intention of also getting be as servants who serve their master for the sake of a reward.” See sefer Chafetz Chaim, Hil. atonement from it, much as a person does a mitzvah for reward in the World to Come. See Lashon Hara 2:12 and the note there. more in the Gemara Bava Basra 10b. 330 Bava Basra 9a. 324 See Shaarei Teshuvah on Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 250:1. 331 Devarim Rabbah 5:3. 325 Cf. Shabbos 10b. 332 Rosh Hashanah 16b. 136 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 137 in the name of Rebbi Yochanan:333 “It is written,334 ‘Riches will not help given, the harder it is, the more atonement there is. on the day of wrath, but charity rescues from death.’ We also find it Why is charity so powerful? It seems that the benefits gained far stated,335 ‘The storehouses of the wicked will not help, but charity res- outweigh what the benefactor has done. Here are two explanations: cues from death.’” Why does the Torah say twice that charity rescues 1. Our Sages say,341 “Anyone who saves one Jewish soul, it is as if from death? We know the Torah does not have even one redundant he has saved an entire world.” This seems out of proportion, letter, needless to say a redundant word or phrase. If so, what is the but Rashi explains: Hashem created man as a singular entity lesson the Torah wishes to teach by the apparent redundancy? An- (Adam), as opposed to animals who were created as an entire swers Rebbe Chiyya bar Abba, one verse is to teach that charity saves species. This was to demonstrate that the whole universe was a person from an untimely death (and all the more so from sicknesses created just for Adam’s sake alone. Each person in the world and other suffering),336 and the other verse is to teach that charity has is akin to ‘Adam.’ Therefore, one should realize that even had the power to rescue one from the untold suffering of Gehinom.337 he been the only person in the world, he is so important that Not only can tzedakah prevent yissurim from coming in the first Hashem would create the entire universe just for him! As each place, it can also remove them after they have already arrived. Rab- individual is so immensely important, it follows, that by help- beinu Yona comments on the verse,338 “A gift in secret conceals [Divine] ing another person, he is really helping an extremely important Anger, and a bribe in the bosom, [conceals] intense fury.” — Even individual, a person on whose account the entire world was cre- when a man is in the thick of trouble, after the decree has been issued ated. This renders his act of charity an act of gargantuan propor- on account of his sins, ‘the bribe (charity) in the bosom’ subdues it. tion, helping us understand his great reward, while at the same How can we maximize charity’s atonement power? The Mishnah time to appreciate the importance and nobility inherent to each Berurah339 explains that according to the one of us. extent one gives, will be his reward, as Giving tzedakah is 340 very powerful and the Sages say, “According to the exer- 2. Rashi342 points out an additional reason on the verse where has many benefits tion is the reward,” thus the more money Hashem admonishes Cain after he murdered his brother,343 “The voice of your brother’s bloods are crying out to Me.” Why is ‘bloods’ 333 Bava Basra 10a. written in plural? Our Sages344 say that this unusual plural tense 334 Mishlei 11:4. teaches that a murderer is held accountable not just for the 335 Ibid. 10:2. 336 See Iggeres HaKodesh (Baal HaTanya) No. 21: “The charitable deed is above them all. It death of his victim, but also for his victim’s future descendants. shields and rescues in this world from all kinds of pending calamity as it is written, ‘Charity This means that one act of murder is, in essence, akin to mas- rescues from death,’ — if charity saves from death, than all the more so it saves from other kinds of suffering.” sacre. How does this connect to charity? We know that Hashem 337 The Gemara cited stipulates that not every charity has the property to rescue from death. rewards for a good deed 500 times more than He punishes a Which charity does? Only charity that is given in a fashion that the benefactor does not know who is receiving his charity, and similarly the recipient does not know who gave it. This can be easily accomplished by giving charity anonymously to a charity fund, which distributes the money to the poor. 341 Bava Basra 11a. 338 Mishlei 21:14. 342 Ibid. 339 §334:81. 343 Bereishis 4:10. 340 Avos 5:23. 344 Sanhedrin 37a. 138 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 139
transgression.345 If so, when a person helps another live (by pro- should speak well of the poor person and be his advocate by re- viding food or money), he is given enormous credit for this. Not questing from others to benefit him. Our Sages say,351 G‘ reater only is he supporting one needy individual, he is supporting is the one who drives others to act, than the one who in fact this poor person’s future descendants. Just as when one mur- gives of his own.’” How can this be understood? Consider two ders he is guilty of murdering future descendants, then all the explanations: more so by giving charity, he is credited for giving life to future 346 offspring. A. The Chochmas Adam352 explains that the one giving the charity When giving tzedakah, a person supports another human be- performs one mitzvah, while the one causing money to be given ing, for whom the world was created. He is also credited for helping performs two mitzvos: all of his recipient’s descendants, who are all of the same grandeur. 1) He has caused benefit to the poor person by creating a means Surely his reward is justly very great! With a slight movement of by which his financial burden has become eased. the hand, and with a sum of money no Kind words can be 2) He has caused benefit to the donor by providing him the op- greater than a penny,347 one fulfills this more powerful than portunity to fulfill the precious mitzvah of charity. incredible Torah commandment. money It is important to mention that B. Thesefer Orach Tzedakah explains (in the name of HaRav Chaim tzedakah is not exclusively money handouts. In fact, one can fulfill Kanievsky, shlita) that while the giver feels gratified for having this great mitzvah without giving a dime. How so? exercised his generosity and the poor recipient feels relieved upon receiving the money he needs, the one who supplicated 1. Offering words of hope and encouragement to a needy and encouraged the giver shares none of these pleasures, thus person. We find in the Gemara,348 “One who appeases the pauper his reward becomes multiplied. with words is greater than the one who gives him only money.”349 Note: One should be cautious of the charitable causes he gives to 2. Causing others to give charity. Rabbeinu Yona writes in Shaa- in order to avoid fraudulent groups. One should consult with a quali- rei Teshuvah,350 “One who does not have money to give to charity, fied Orthodox rabbi before donating to verify the legitimacy and wor- thiness of the cause.353 345 for example, if the punishment for not doing a commandment were to be fined one hun- dred dollars, than the reward given for doing it would be 50,000 dollars. 346 This applies to giving charity even where there is no question of life and death. The fact that a person has helped provide sustenance to a needy person, is enough. This is because 351 Bava Basra 9a. he helped him to continue to live (he has bought food with the money given, and lives 352 Klal 144:14. from the food, etc.) Thus, in a small way, he has a hand in the pauper’s future offspring, as 353 Among all of the worthy causes, the greatest of them all is to support poor Torah scholars he helped him to live to get there. As was stated before, the attribute of Divine Kindness in Eretz Yisroel. Apart from the merit of charity and supporting the Yishuv of Eretz Yisroel, eclipses the attribute of strict justice 500 times. a person gains the merit of the Torah learned as a result of his help in propagating the 347 Explained in the sefer Orach Tzedakah, Ch. 1, Note 35, in the name of several poskim, that scholar to continue in his Holy Torah studies. Giving to a Kollel is a classic example of this. with even less than a ‘prutah,’ one fulfills this mitzvah. With this, he also can give while remaining anonymous, as the benefactor does not know 348 Bava Basra 9b. the scholar, nor does the scholar know him. The merit of this can save him from the most 349 The reason for this might be because it is greater to support a poor man’s spirit, than it is dire straits, as mentioned above, while at the same time his portion in the World to Come his body. is not compromised. See the Gemara in Brachos 34b concerning a person fortunate enough 350 4:11. to have a Torah scholar benefit from his possessions. 140 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 141
3. Acts of Kindness C arrived early, and pleaded Yaakov’s case with cunning and wit. The charges were waived. C reasserted to Yaakov how The following story has a compelling message:354 much he enjoys the friendship and looks forward to cultivat- The best substitute for yissurim is mitz- ing the relationship farther. After leaving the courthouse, vos, not self-afflictions Once there was a man named Yaakov who had three friends. Yaakov began to reassess his friendships... Friend A, Friend B and Friend C. A he loved, oh so much. B he was quite fond of, but not to be compared to A. C was a friend, but not much beyond that. One day, Yaakov received These three friends are not fictitious. In fact, each of us has these a court summons. There were charges leveled against him three friends.355 Who are they? of the nature that if found guilty, he would stand to suffer Friend A is a person’s money and possessions. terribly. The trial was set to take place in two weeks. “Time Friend B is a person’s family, friends and relatives. must not be wasted,” Yaakov thought to himself. “I need to Friend C is a person’s acts of kindness. enlist the help of my friends. I need character witnesses.” When a person receives a summons to appear before the Heaven- He called Friend A, pleading for help in his time of need, ly Court (i.e. his time has come to depart from this world), charges are wishing that A testify about their warm relationship in the brought against him. His money and possessions (A) remain back at his past. A responded bluntly and to the point, “Sorry Yaakov, house. They can no longer be of any service. His family and friends (B) the buck stops here. I absolutely refuse to help you in any carry and escort him to the gates of the court (the grave), but not beyond. way shape or form. In this case you are on your own.” Yaakov His acts of kindness (C) accompany him to the trial and defend him effec- felt bitterly disappointed and betrayed. Not losing hope, he tively. They continue on in a mutual friendship in the Next World. turned to B. He dialed the number, anxiously. B answered Acts of kindness do not help a person only in the future, they also the phone and heard the predicament. B expressed deep con- assist him presently. The Orchos Tzaddikim writes,356 “Acts of kindness cern and worry yet would not provide the help Yaakov most shield a person and protect him from suffering; they even spare him desperately needed. B offered to give Yaakov a free drive to from death.” In truth, acts of kindness are even greater than giving the courthouse but refused to set foot in the court. Yaakov charity for three reasons, as our Sages say:357 pleaded with B but to no avail. Having almost given up hope, Yaakov remembered C. Maybe he can be of some assistance. 1. Charity can be done only with one’s money, but kind acts can be Having nothing to lose, Yaakov gave C a ring. To his relief C done with either one’s money or body. answered. When C heard of the crisis, he sprang into action. 2. Charity can only be given to the needy, while acts of kindness “Why, this is what friends are for!” said C. C offered to go to can be done to the needy and the wealthy. the court early (ensuring not to be late), and to be a charac- 3. Charity can only be given to the living, while acts of kindness ter witness, pleading the case to the best of his ability. And can be done with the living and the deceased. so it came to transpire. A and B didn’t come to the trial, but 355 Although the degree of closeness with each one of these friends is different for each person. 354 Based on the Midrash in Pirkei D’Rabbi Eliezer Ch. 33, and the writings of the Vilna Gaon 356 Shaar HaTeshuvah. on Mishlei 18:24. 357 Sukkah 49b. 142 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 143
Acts of kindness include visiting the sick, bringing happiness to a styles of learning,363 some of which are more appropriate for purifica- groom and his bride and any type of action that provides a fellow Jew tion than others. As the Noam Elimelech writes,364 “A man should puri- with something he needs, including giving nachas.358 fy his body and his soul by learning Gemara with Tosfos; also learning Even giving someone a smile or offering a drink is included. Acts the Aggadetas are particularly powerful to purify his soul.” Since learn- of kindness bring a person to atonement, while the reward for his good ing Torah acts as atonement, it relinquishes the need to have yissurim. deeds remain intact, serving him in this world and the next. Is it not We have seen that giving charity is so great, it can redeem a per- worthwhile to cultivate a warm relationship with this cherished “friend?” son even from the midst of yissurim. Can learning Torah do the same? The Gemara answers,365 “Rebbi Shimon ben Lakish says, ‘Anyone who 4. Learning Torah involves himself in Torah, suffering flees from him...’” We similarly Rava said,359 “Anyone who involves himself in Torah study does find it written in Tanna d’Bei Eliyahu,366 “If you see yissurim begin to not need an olah sacrifice, a minchah or asham.” Rashi explains, “For befall you, run to learn Torah, and the suffering will flee immediately Torah study atones for one’s sins.” We similarly find in the Midrash in from you…” It is clear that learning Torah is a powerful shield pre- regards to the Torah,360 “It is a tree of life to those who support it.”361 venting the onset of yissurim and can even remove them after they How is the Torah a tree of life? Even if a man transgressed the most have “visited.” How does this work? severe of sins, he still has a way to make The Ramchal writes367 that learning Torah affects a person deeply. reparation — if he was used to learning Engaging in chesed The one who engages in Torah learning finds himself inwardly encour- one page of Torah a day, now he should earns a person aged to repent. By repenting, he becomes atoned for. learn two, if he was used to learning one ‘friends’ that help Another explanation is that the toil and effort expended in the chapter, now he should learn two. The se- him greatly in this learning serve as a substitute for the suffering he was meant to have. fer Maalos HaTorah writes, “We can only world and the next The Shaarei Teshuvah writes,368 “When a person sets his toil in Torah, inspire ourselves to repent, and that is and he expends effort in it and drives sleep from his eyes, this takes the Torah. The Torah is in place of bringing sacrifices in our day and the place of suffering.” age, as the Arizal mentions, that all the kinds of self-afflictions and There is a great advantage to have atonement through toiling in fasting were meant for the earlier generations, but the later genera- Torah. Through toiling in Torah, man gains atonement for his sins tions are of weak constitution, and therefore the primary form of re- while also receives double reward in this world and the next, as the pentance is doubling our efforts in Torah study as much as possible.” mitzvah of learning Torah is the very greatest of all mitzvos, and ac- Torah learning is capable of purify- cording to his efforts will be his reward. As Rav Chaim of Volozhin ing even the most contaminated of souls. Learning Torah is writes,369 “Suffering wipes away a person’s sins. But if he is wise, he However, it is important to mention that a powerful shield there are many parts of Torah362 and many against yissurim 363 for example, slow in depth learning, or fast “bekius” learning. 364 cited in Hanhagos HaAdam §6. 358 See Ahavas Chesed at length. 365 Brachos 5a. 359 Menachos 110a. 366 Eliyahu Rabbah §7. 360 Vayikra Rabbah §25:1. 367 Mesilos Yesharim Ch. 5. 361 Mishlei 3:18. 368 4:11. 362 for example, Mishnah, Gemara, Halacha, Tanach etc. 369 Ruach Chaim 6:5. 144 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 145 will not wait until Hashem sends him suffering. Instead, he will accept Why is this combination so powerful? A person who fasts forty upon himself suffering through involvement in Torah … he will gain days and gives millions to charity still cannot attain what a person can by this, that his suffering will be counted as a mitzvah in his favor, achieve through the combination of Torah and kindness. Why? aside from his atonement.” 1. A person is capable of doing mitzvos or sins using one of three 5. Torah combined with acts of kindness capacities: thought, speech or action. These three capacities en- compass everything a person does. It is written in Mishlei,370 “With kindness and truth is sin 2. Later on in this chapter, we will learn that one of the best ways atoned.” The Vilna Gaon371 explains, Vilna Gaon: the for one to gain atonement is by contemplating which sins he “The best and most effective of all self- best way to achieve needs atonement for and then endeavoring to do mitzvos with mortification is to learn Torah and also atonement is through the same limbs he used to transgress the mitzvos. perform acts of kindness… for this will a combination of atone for his sin.” Torah learning and Bearing these two points in mind, we can understand why the 372 The Malbim points out that this chesed combination of in-depth Torah learning and acts of selfless kindness wondrous combination atones even for is a powerful atonement. Torah learning uses the capacities of thought transgressions performed knowingly (zadon), and all the more so if and speech, and acts of kindness use the capacity of action. Therefore, he transgressed unknowingly. He mentions that the Torah being dis- through a person’s involvement with these two mitzvos specifically, cussed and the kind deeds we are referring to are not just any Torah he atones for every transgression he ever committed, as nothing falls or kindness, rather specifically Torah which is learned in depth (iyun), outside of the three capacities (thought, speech and action), which he and kindness where the one performing it does so without condition is now harnessing for the fulfillment of mitzvos.375 of receiving compensation. Torah combined with kindness has the added advantage of pro- 6. Repenting tecting one from the ‘birth pangs’ preceding the Messianic Age. We If a person sinned, then he has a mitzvah from the Torah to 373 find in theG emara, “The students of Rebbi Eliezer HaGadol asked repent.376 When one’s repentance is accepted by God, he is granted him, ‘What should a person do to escape from the birth pangs of atonement, precluding any need for yissurim. Yom Kippur, for ex- Mashiach?’ He said to them, ‘He should occupy himself with Torah ample, is a day where we fast and ask 374 Repentance removes and acts of benevolence.’” The Chafetz Chaim points out that when- for forgiveness, and, in turn, great the sin – so no more ever Divine Judgment is particularly strong, as it will be in the peri- atonement follows. However, there atonement is needed od preceding Mashiach, other mitzvos cannot fully protect a person, is no need to wait for Yom Kippur to only the combination of Torah with kindness is powerful enough to provide security. 375 Although there are other mitzvos contingent on thought and speech (e.g. blessings) and action (e.g. shaking a lulav), nonetheless, Torah and kindness are singled out. The reason 370 16:6; see also Rosh Hashanah 18a. for this being that Torah is the greatest and most powerful of the mitzvos contingent on 371 Ibid. thought and speech, and similarly kindness is the greatest of all mitzvos contingent on 372 In his commentary on Mishlei there. action, as mentioned above (point 2), thus such a combination creates the greatest atone- 373 Sanhedrin 98b. ment possible. 374 Shem Olam, in concluding remarks. 376 Rambam Hichos Teshuvah 1:1. 146 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 147 repent. This mitzvah can be performed at any time.377 Indeed, the How far does this go? Can a person repent even from the most sooner one repents the better.378 Let us learn more about this pre- horrendous of actions and deeds? The Rambam writes,383 “In our cious gem of a mitzvah. times, the Beis HaMikdash does not stand, and we have no Altar of There is great Divine Kindness involved in repentance. The fact atonement. There is nothing but repentance, and repentance atones that one can make reparation at all for a previous misdeed is a great for all sins.” It is written in sefer Shaarei Kedushah,384 “You will find novelty.379 If one murders, can he possibly undo his act? Yet, Hash- no sin, even heresy, that can withstand repentance, even if he only em, in His loving kindness, provided a way for us to repair past mis- repented at the moment of his death.” deeds and that is by doing sincere repentance. In the sefer Shaarei Every person can repent. Even the repentance of a completely Kedushah it states,380 “If he repents from love or even out of fear of wicked person who has filled all his days with evil and transgression the punishment, the sin is uprooted as if it never was.” will be accepted before Hashem, and his reward will be great, as the Hashem’s kindness does not stop there. Even if a person delays Rambam writes:385 repenting to the point that he now has yissurim, Hashem still re- Even one who has been evil all his days and repents at ceives his penitence. Rabbeinu Yona writes:381 the end, none of his wickedness is recalled… Let not the When difficulties befall a man, he should think to him- penitent man imagine that he is far from the qualities self, “It is my own evil ways that have done this to me…” of the righteous because of the transgressions and sins and he should return to Hashem, for He will have mercy he has committed. This is not true. Rather, he is beloved upon him… Consider the way of people, if one person and pleasing before the Creator, as if he had never sinned. wrongs another, and afterward this person finds him- What is more, his reward is great, for in spite of the fact self in trouble in a way where he is now in need of the that he has tasted the pleasure of sin, nonetheless he de- assistance of the fellow he wronged, he finds himself sists and subdues his passion. The Sages say, “Where the filled with remorse and he humbles himself before [the penitents stand, [even] the absolute tzaddikim cannot man he previously wronged] since he now requires his stand.” That is, the level of the penitent is greater than help. This remorse is pitiful indeed in the eyes of the those who have never sinned, because the penitent must man he mistreated … however, one of the kindnesses subdue his desires more than they… Repentance draws of Hashem is that He accepts repentance, even out of the distant near. Yesterday, this [sinful man] was hated suffering, and it finds favor before Him.382 by Hashem — disgusting, distanced and loathsome — but today he is beloved and pleasing, near and endeared… Yesterday, he was separated from Hashem, the God of the Jewish People, as it is written, “Your sins separated 377 See Rambam Hilchos Teshuvah 2:6. 378 See Rosh HaShanah 16a that every day, a person is judged. 379 As was previously noted in Ch. 6:1. “If he repented after suffering befell him, the sin is not healed entirely, and he is called a 380 2:8. blemished one.” 381 Shaarei Teshuvah 2:2. 383 Hil. Teshuvah 1:3. 382 Repentance out of suffering is good, but is considered blemished when compared to re- 384 2:8. pentance even when things are going well. In the Sefer Shaarei Kedushah (2:8) it states, 385 Hil. Teshuvah 1:3 and 7:4,6,7. 148 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 149
between you and your God.” He would cry out and not bad habits and blemished character. Indeed, it can be argued that be answered… he would perform mitzvos, and they would repenting from bad habits is even more important than repent- be ripped up in front of him, as it is written, “Who asked ing from transgression. This novel concept is explained by the this of you, to trample in my courtyard.” But today, he is Rambam:390 joined to the Divine Presence, as it is written, “You are Just as a person must repent of transgressions, so too joined to Hashem your God.” He cries out and is imme- must he inspect if he has uncouth character traits. For ex- diately answered, as it is written, “It shall be, before they ample, he should contemplate his ways and see if he has call out, and I shall answer.” He does mitzvos and they are accustomed himself to anger or hatred, if he has jealousy accepted with pleasure and joy, as it is written, “For God or exercises mockery of others, if he runs after money has already accepted your deeds.” What is more, Hashem or glory, if he has habits of overeating or eating without has a passion for them, as it is written, “The meal offering manners, or other bad traits … These types of sins (i.e. the of Yehudah will be sweet to Hashem, as in days of old and types which are character faults) are more damaging than as in yesteryear.” a sinful act, for when a person is sunk into these ways, it How does one repent? First of all, one needs to be sincere. is difficult to part from them. It is thus written, “Let the As the Chasam Sofer writes,386 “Fundamentally, repentance goes wicked leave his way.” after the heart’s intentions.” Assuming one is sincere, repentance The great teachers of Mussar teach that character improvement is a three step process:387 A) To regret having made the mistake.388 is critical since every transgression can be traced to a faulty character B) To resolve never to do it again. C) To verbally ask Hashem for trait. Therefore, once one trait is fixed, one cause for sin has been re- forgiveness.389 moved. The person who has perfected his character lies far away from any sin. To contrast, if a person fails to appreciate this and is con- Repenting applies also to poor habits tent with unrefined character, then he hardly stands a chance of not The mitzvah of repentance is not stumbling in the future, as the primary cause of his sin remains firmly reserved only for one who neglected to Repentance is rooted in place. perform a positive commandment or required for poor habits and attitudes, transgressed a negative precept of the Ascertaining the quality of our repentance Torah, rather it also has application to as well as misdeeds It is difficult to measure the effectiveness of our repentance as 391 386 Responsa, Yoreh Deah §188. there are myriad levels. Rabbeinu Yona writes: 387 See Rambam at beginning of Hil. Teshuvah. 388 This is the most fundamental aspect of penitence as the Rambam (ibid) points out. The quality and effectiveness of repenting is according to 389 This applies in regards to sins that do not involve another person. For example, if one for- the extent of the remorse and the intensity of the grief got to say a blessing. However, if one has sinned in a way where another person is involved, for example if he hurt someone’s feelings, then he must first obtain forgiveness from that person before Divine Forgiveness can be obtained (Rambam, Hilchos Teshuvah 2:9). Where 390 Hil. Teshuvah 7:3. this is difficult, a qualified Orthodox rabbi should be consulted. 391 Shaarei Teshuvah 1:13. 150 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 151
… the blemish of the sin becomes lightened commen- His past mitzvos are revived surate with the effort and lament involved, as his sad- Our Sages say,395 “A sin extinguishes a mitzvah.” The Shaarei ness derives from the purity of the uppermost soul. He Teshuvah396 explains that although it cannot be denied that a trans- becomes appeasing in the eyes of Hashem by means of gression douses a mitzvah, nonetheless, at the moment a person re- sincere repenting, more so than by means of suffering pents, the sin is atoned and the merit of the mitzvah shines forth and pain. once more, as its light could not glisten prior to repentance.
In short, to the degree of his sincere remorse, will be his atonement. Longevity It is important to note that although it is true that one should be Rebbi Shmuel bar Nachmeini said in the name of Rebbi Yochanan,397 sad over his transgressions, this sadness must be reserved only for the “Great is repentance, for it lengthens the years of a man, as it is written,398 time he is actively repenting; for example, when he repents in prayer, ‘When the wicked repents from his wickedness, he shall live.’” or at some other time. The rest of the time one should be happy, trust- Repenting does not cost money and hardly takes time, yet it can ing in Hashem’s forgiveness. It is appropriate to be particularly joyous save a person from great pains and travail. It is befitting to take ad- 392 when presented with the opportunity to do a mitzvah. vantage of this wonderful and precious mitzvah and incorporate re- pentance into our daily routine.399 Other benefits of repentance Let us appreciate the gift of repentance a little bit better, as there A text for repentance are other “side benefits” involved, apart Repentance offers a Although one can repent in any language or text he wishes, there from the atonement gained: myriad of blessings is a wonderful text penned by the great Kabbalistic master, Rabbi Chaim Vital,400 which covers all of the basic tenets of repentance and The prosecutor becomes the defender includes all types of transgressions: The Vilna Gaon writes,393 “When a person repents from what he has done, [the sin] is transformed from evil to goodness. The prosecuting Master of the Universe, I have sinned unintentionally, in- angels created as a result of his sins become his friends and advocates.” tentionally and have rebelled. I have done what is evil in Your eyes. I have stood with a corrupt mind and have trod Hashem grants him success the path of the wayward. Now I regret all of this. I wish I Rashi says,394 “When a person comes before Hashem and appeases had never done these sins. These sins that I have commit- Him with words and returns to Him (repentance), he becomes like a ted, I shall never do again. May it be pleasing before You, beautiful jewel, a pearl in the eyes of Hashem. He will grant him suc- cess in all he requests from Him.” 395 Sotah 21a. 396 1:41. 397 Yoma 86b. 398 Yechezkel 18:27. 392 See more in Sefer HaTanya, end of Chapter 26. 399 for example, to say the Vidui in the morning prayers, in the blessing of Shomea Tefillah, as 393 Mishlei 3:2. is printed in the prayer books. 394 Ibid. 17:8. 400 See Shaarei Kedusha 2:8. 152 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 153
Adonay my God, and the God of my fathers, that You grant Even if a person is not worthy of being answered in his me atonement for all my transgressions performed out of prayer, nor that kindness be done with him, if he prays and rebellion, and forgive me for all of my sins performed in- entreats very much, I shall do kindness with him. This is tentionally, and pardon me all of my sins performed un- what is written,402 “All of Hashem’s ways are kindness and intentionally that I have perpetrated before You, from the truth.” I have set “kindness” before “truth.” moment of creation until this very day, whether performed Our prayers are so powerful that they can be more effective in this incarnation or in other incarnations, whether they than the sacrifices, and this strength can be tapped into by any- were prohibitions of the Written Torah or of the Oral To- one. Even a person devoid of merit can take advantage of prayer. rah, or of the Enactments of the Sages, their fences or cus- We find in the Gemara Yerushalmi403 that every time a person prays toms, for You desire repentance. May the utterance of my there is always some positive outcome from it. There is no such mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing before thing as a wasted prayer. You Adonay, my Rock and my Redeemer. What are some of the benefits of prayer? רבונו של עולם, חטאתי עויתי פשעתי, והרע בעיניך עשיתי, Prayer can nullify an evil decree ובדעת רעה הייתי עומד, ובדרך רחוקה הייתי מהלך, והריני Our Rabbis teach,404 “Three things Prayer nullifies evil מתחרט מהם והלואי שלא עשיתים, ומה שעשיתי, לא can void a harsh decree. These are: re- decrees against us אעשה עוד. יהי רצון מלפניך ה׳ אלהַ י ואלהֵ י אבותי, שתכפר pentance, prayer and charity.” What kind לי על כל פשעַ י, ותמחול לי על כל עוונותַ י, ותסלח לי על כל of prayer can nullify a decree? This is explained by Rebbi Elazar,405 חטאותַ י, שחטאתי ושעויתי ושפשעתי לפניך מיום שנברא “Though the gates of prayer have been locked, the gates of tears have העולם עד היום הזה, בין בגלגול זה בין בגלגולים אחרים, not been locked.” The Midrash says,406 “Come and see; the righteous בין באיסורי תורה בין באיסורי דברי סופרים ותקנותיהם Leah shed many tears… This is what we learn: Whoever sheds tears וסייגיהם ומנהגותיהם, כי אתה הוא הרוצה בתשובה. יהיו before Hashem (in prayer), even if a penalty has already been decreed, לרצון אמרי פי והגיון לבי לפניך ה׳, צורי וגואלי, עכ”ל. the judgment will be torn up and the punishment will not have any power over him.” It is evident that tearful prayers have the power to 7. Prayer quash a harsh decree. The following Midrash can serve as a fountain of encouragement. Prayer brings salvation from within the suffering We find in Midrash Tanchumah:401 Not only can prayer prevent yissurim from coming, as previously Hashem said to the Jewish People: mentioned, it can also deliver a person from the most hopeless of situ- Prayer is much more Treat prayer carefully, for no other powerful than most measure is greater than it, and it is 402 Tehillim 25:10. people realize 403 Brachos Ch. 1 Halacha 1. superior over all of the sacrifices… 404 Tanchuma, Noach §8. 405 Brachos 32b. 401 Vayeira §1. 406 Zohar HaKadosh, Vayechi 223. 154 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 155 ations. We find in Tehillim,407 “Their souls did reject all food; they came fortify your heart, and pray to Hashem.’” Repeating one’s prayers to the very gates of death. Out of their straits they will cry out to will greatly increase the chances of gaining a favorable response. Our Hashem; from their distress He shall redeem them. He will send His Sages explain414 on the verse:415 “And it was, after she increasingly word and it shall heal them, and spare their destruction.” Thus we see, prayed to Hashem,” What we learn from here, anyone who increas- even when facing “the gates of death” a man may still entreat Hashem ingly prays is answered. for his soul and successfully be saved. Rebbi Yochanan and Rebbi Ela- zar both teach,408 “Even if a sharp sword is pressed against a man’s Success is found through prayer neck, let him not hold himself back from [praying for] mercy, as it is In the Book of Shmuel,416 we read the account of Dovid’s so- written,409 ‘Even if he shall kill me, to Him shall I pray.’”410 Similarly, the journ in the land of the Pilishtim. Dovid HaMelech had fled from prophet says,411 “Hashem’s hand is not too short to bring salvation.” the land of Israel, hoping that King Shaul would at last despair of That is, since Hashem is omnipotent, there can be no doubt that He killing him. Achish, king of Gas, gave Dovid and his six hundred has the ability to redeem anyone from any circumstance. Therefore, men the city of Ziklag as a place of asylum. Lest he be suspected of although it might seem to a person that his situation is beyond hope, disloyalty, Dovid and his men accompanied Achish and the leaders in reality, from the “viewpoint” of God, his salvation is near and easy. of the Pilishtim to wage war with King Shaul and the Jewish People. As seen, prayer can save from the direst of predicaments. Even As expected, the Pilishti kings adamantly refused to allow Dovid to where there is no help in sight, “there are a multitude of messengers fight with them. They suspected he would betray Achish and deliv- at Hashem’s disposal.” This phenomenon can be understood in light er their heads to King Shaul. Dovid and his men returned to Ziklag, of our previous teaching that Hashem relates to one’s prayers with only to find it ransacked and burned to the ground by the Amale- the attribute of mercy. We bear witness to this mercy when Hashem kite army. Their families had been taken alive, along with the plun- answers us at our time of need. der. Dovid’s men were bitterly angry; some of them even thought to stone Dovid to death. The situation was critical, and Dovid had Increasing potency of prayer to act swiftly and effectively. His life was at stake. What did he do? As noted above, every prayer has some effect. There are things The verse recounts:417 “Dovid strengthened himself in Hashem, his a person can do which can render his prayers more effective. The God.” The Radak explains,418 “He set his hope in Him.” Dovid could Gemara teaches,412 “Rebbi Chama the son of Rebbi Chanina said: If have tried to appease his soldiers. He could have hidden until their a man has prayed, but sees he has not been answered, he should go anger subsided. Instead, Dovid’s first act was to turn to Hashem back and pray again, as it is written,413 ‘Pray to Hashem; be strong and for help. Recognizing the endless wellsprings of strength embed- ded in prayer, Dovid seized this tool and exploited it to the utmost.
407 107:18-20. He emerged with great success from what appeared to be a most 408 Brachos 10a. bleak and hopeless situation. 409 Iyov 13:15. 410 See the Gemara in Brachos (63a) that a person merits to have his financial income doubled 414 Midrash Shmuel 2. in the merit of praying for mercy in a time of trouble. 415 Shmuel I 1:12. 411 Yeshayah 59:1. 416 Shmuel I, 30:3-6. 412 Brachos 32b. 417 Ibid. 413 Tehillim 27:14. 418 Ibid. 156 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 157
Apart from reinforcing the lesson that prayer can help in all cir- decreed upon a person on Rosh Hashanah. Prayer, merit cumstances, this story teaches that one should use prayer as his main and repentance are the only ways that the decree can be means to accomplish his end. The Ramchal writes,419 “When a person changed. If it seems that man, with his strategies and ef- first draws close and stands before Hashem and requests from Him all fort, is successful in getting what he wants, the truth is that that he needs, and casts his burden on Him, this is the principal and it was coming to him anyway by Divine Decree. Even had most encompassing start to all of his efforts.” he not done what he did, the story would have had a happy The Chazon Ish writes,420 ending in precisely the same manner, or similar to it.
With every unfortunate encounter, I am accustomed to The Ramchal423 relates why Hashem arranged His world in such a take up my trust in Hashem. Nothing in this world hap- way that the primary effort should be mainly in terms of prayer: “For pens by chance, [everything] is directed by the Blessed people to receive Hashem’s goodness, they must arouse themselves to One’s Providence. I work hard in prayer to have the decree Him, and to come near to Him and make a request of Him. According removed. Therefore, I approach investing physical efforts to the arousal toward Him, they receive abundance. If they do not with tepidity. Most of the time, it is unclear which action arouse themselves, they will not receive.” He writes further: should be taken. The more a person gets caught up in worldly matters, He also writes,421 so does he distance himself from the supernal radiance and [his world] becomes dimmer. Hashem prepared a We need to remember that we on correction for this, by requiring a person to first draw our own accord cannot accomplish Chazon Ish: It is near and stand before Him, and request his needs (i.e. anything. Through our actions we often difficult to prayer)… so that when he goes on afterward to take arouse the gates of mercy that our know which practical other forms of action (that is, human endeavor), he will actions will lay the groundwork actions will be not get caught up in physicality and materialism, since for what we hope to accomplish. effective, but prayer he first recognized through prayer that everything is However, the one who prays … he is always effective dependent on God. is more effective than the one who takes action. In summary, the two reasons Hashem made prayer the primary source of success are: The Steipler Gaon writes:422 A) It is impossible to bring down Divine Abundance without The rule is: everything that mortals plan and do has not the prayer; slightest power to add or detract to what has already been B) Through prayer, a person is spared from sinking into mate- rialism; even while involving himself in material efforts. 419 Derech Hashem 4:5:2. 420 Kovetz Iggros, Vol. 2 §132. 421 cited in Dinim v’Hanhagos of the Chazon Ish, p. 124. 422 Birkas Peretz, Parshas Shemos. 423 Derech Hashem 4:5:1. 158 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 159
Physical efforts (Hishtadlus) Avraham asked Hashem, “Master of the Universe, what will be if the Jewish People sin before You, and You de- Although it is clear that one’s primary mode of effort should be cide to do to them as You did to the generation of the prayer, this does not mean to say that we should be devoid of material Flood and of the Dispersion?” Hashem replied, “I will not strategies. Nor does this mean to say that We must do do such a thing.” Avraham said, “Master of the Universe, we should spend most of our time praying. reasonable hishtadlus how shall I know [what knowledge can I impart to them, Rather, one should do whatever seems nec- which will atone for their sins — Rashi]?” Hashem said essary, whether a lot or a little (depending to him, “Take for Me a choice calf… [the sacrifices will on the case) together with prayer. By preceding his efforts with prayer, atone for them — Rashi]” Avraham said, “Master of the he shows that praying is the main effort. He casts his burden on God. He Universe, that will work when the Holy Temple is stand- recognizes that the chief source of his success emanates from Hashem’s ing, but when the Holy Temple is not standing, what will blessings, and not from his material efforts. be?” Hashem said, “I have already decreed the order of the Take, for example, a person who is sick. What should he do to get bet- sacrifices. As long as they recite them, I will consider it ter? He should beseech Hashem in prayer for a complete recovery and then as though they have brought offerings to me, and I will proceed to make an appointment with a doctor. Even though he might forgive them all of their sins.” need to invest several hours in material efforts while his prayer only took a matter of minutes (if not seconds), there is no contradiction. Through Rebbi Yitzchak teaches,426 “What is the meaning of the phrasing, his prayer, he understands that success comes from the Almighty, and ‘This is the teaching of the sin offering,’ ‘this is the teaching of the guilt not his efforts. His prayer opens the gates of redemption, and enforces offering?’ Anyone who recites the teaching of the sin offering it is as if his belief that his success is absolutely contingent on Hashem. His efforts he sacrificed a sin offering, and anyone who recites the teaching of the can be likened to a tool that a craftsman holds. Hashem is the craftsman, guilt offering, it is as if he sacrificed a guilt offering.” and when he gets well, we say that Hashem used the tools of his material Rabbeinu Yona writes,427 “One should constantly recite the por- efforts to grant him a recovery. This is what was meant when our Rabbis tion of the sin offering, and Hashem will consider it as if one has taught that prayer is the prime means of effort. brought a sin offering. That is, that a great benefit will be derived from this as it will atone for him, like an atonement of a sin offering 8. Reciting the verses pertaining to the sacrifices itself.” Not only does reciting the verses of the sacrifices bring atone- Reciting the order of the sacrifices is a fast and effective way to ment, it also carries with it other benefits as well. The Kaf HaChaim428 writes in the name of the Yafeh LaLeiv of the Divine Protection af- atone for misdeeds. Avraham Avinu asked Reciting the texts of forded through reciting the sacrifices, “It is good to recite the por- Hashem for a sign that his descendants the sacrifices atones 424 tions of the sacrifices each day; it is very powerful, and a person can would inherit the Land of Israel. “How as the sacrifices be sure that no harm will befall him, for he will be guarded against will I be sure to inherit it?” he asked. Our themselves did Sages explain:425
426 Menachos 110a. 424 Bereishis 15:8. 427 Shaarei Teshuvah 4:14. 425 Megillah 31b. 428 §1 s.k. 36. 160 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 161 any evil.” The Kabbalists highly recommend reciting the sacrifices (i.e. metal instruments) may come upon it (the altar). before the morning services. From here we may derive a great lesson: If stones which In order for one to enjoy these benefits, three conditions must can neither see, nor hear nor speak, but since they bring be met: peace, the Torah writes concerning them not to use metal instruments to hew them: a person who brings peace be- 1. He must repent of his misdeeds preceding his recital.429 tween a man and his wife, between two families, between 2. He must be careful to recite the sacrifices only by day, and not two men, certainly no retribution (being analogous to by night. This is because real sacrifices can only be offered by metal) shall come upon him. day. If so, the recital which is coming as a substitute must also be by day.430 For the same reason one should not recite the sac- If mere stones of the altar “merit” not to be subject to being rifices on Shabbos or Yom Tov (excepting the Tommid offering struck by metal (which signifies destruction and calamity) because which was offered up even on Shabbos and Yom Tov). they bring peace, all the more so a living person who has free will, and 3. He needs to understand what he is reciting and not just merely chant chooses on his own volition to bring peace between two parties, most the words, as we find mentioned explicitly in the Mishnah Berurah.431 certainly he merits not to have metal cast upon him — meaning that he will be spared destruction and calamity. One can find a listing of the sacrifices and the appropriate verses to This great mitzvah of bringing peace is often misunderstood. say in many of our common siddurim, just after the morning blessings. Some people think that if they cannot bring two feuding parties to 9. Seeking Peace a peaceful and complete settlement, there is no use bothering in the first place. This is not the case. Consider this analogy: The Torah writes,432 “If you make Me an altar of stone, do not build it with hewn blocks, for you waved your sword upon it, and Once there was a man with a terrible disease. He suffered for profaned it.” This verse prohibits using rocks hewn from metal several years without having a way to treat it. One day, a good instruments for the purpose of constructing the sacrificial altar. Make peace. Even a friend of his told him some good news. Metal represents war and destruction because the instruments of slight improvement “I have discovered a cure for you, free war are chiefly made from metal components. What lesson is the is meaningful of expense and pain. The only draw- Torah teaching us? Rashi explains: back is that it is not guaranteed to cure you completely. It might, but it might not, but even if it The altar brings peace between the Jewish People and does not, it may still cure you partially. Would you like to give 433 their Heavenly Father; therefore, no cutter or destroyer it a try?” The man did not have to think twice, understanding 429 See Shaarei Teshuva ibid. that there is nothing to lose. He happily seized his opportunity. 430 Although one can always recite these verses day or night, and with this he is rewarded for Torah study, still, to have the recital act as atonement, it must only be done during the day. The same applies to peacemaking. When two people are not See Bach on Orach Chaim 1. getting along, it can be likened to a sickness, and the peacemaker 431 See Mishnah Berurah §48 s.k. See also the Biur Halacha §1:5 . 432 Shemos 20:22. carries the remedy. Through peacemaking efforts, he may stand to 433 This can be understood in lieu of the fact that by means of the sacrifices one has his sins atoned for, this serves to remove the barriers separating a person from God, thus drawing him closer to Hashem, or in other words, ‘making peace’ with Hashem. 162 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 163
“cure” the dispute by bringing it to an absolute resolution, but even 10. Ignoring Insult if he does not, it is still likely that it can be resolved at least partially Rava said:435 “Anyone who overlooks the slights others do to him, — and that already is a great deal better than nothing at all. Even in Heaven they also overlook all of his serious misdeeds.” Rashi ex- if one succeeds only to take the edge of hatred away from one of plains, “Anyone who relinquishes his objections — who is not quick the warring parties, he already succeeded. He will be counted among to return measure to those who those who strive for peace, meriting the above said reward. It fol- Ignore others’ misdeeds aggravate him, rather he lets go of lows that even if one sees that through his efforts he stands only to against you and Hashem his insult, the Heavenly Tribune achieve a partial reconciliation at best, this should in no way hinder will ignore yours against likewise follows suit, and ignores his efforts. Peacemaking is not “all or nothing.” Even a little bit of Him even his grave misdeeds.” It’s peace, means everything. mentioned in Shaarei Kedushah436 that if he stands to be forgiven for Another point worthy of mention: If there is a mitzvah for one even the most severe of offenses, all the more so he will be forgiven to bring peace between two outside parties, how much more so for his minor infractions. there is a mitzvah to bring peace between oneself and another per- The Chafetz Chaim points out something critically important. He son. See footnote.434 writes437 that being forgiven for one’s misdeeds only takes place if the person takes no issue at all, even when he knows that the one who acted 434 TheTomer Devorah recommends that if a person has offended you, it is quite possible to overlook the slight. How? If this person has done favors for you in the past, then picture in against him did so with malice. The reason for this is quite simple: God your mind that these favors far outweigh the insult done. They shine so strongly, that the runs the world with the principle of “measure for measure.” The way insult dissipates to nothing. (See the next point mentioned in this chapter, how great the one treats others comes back to him. In our case, just as he ignores reward is for overlooking an offense.) In a case where you offended someone else, and attempts of reconciliation have failed, great insult, so too in Heaven his great insults are ignored. then the following advice might work wonders. It states in Mishlei (Ch. 27:19), “As water The Gemara says,438 “Since he does not avenge [the injustice] done reflects ones’ face, so too ones heart to another.” Rashi (in Yevamos 117a) explains that just to him, Heaven will not avenge from him [injustice he has commit- as when one gazes into water, he sees his facial expression reflected back whether happy or sad, so too, the heart of one to another. If one loves the other, the other is compelled to ted].” Therefore, according to the gravity of the offense, when one reflect back that same love. The inverse also holds true. Based on this, if you can be success- overlooks it he will in turn merit that his own offenses (of a similar ful to impress upon the offended party that you are still fond of him, then he finds himself degree of severity) will be overlooked — “measure for measure.” reconsidering his problems with you. For example, when seeing this person be careful to greet him with a smiling countenance. Say hello and mean it. This is something which does From the writings of the Arizal and the Ramak, we find that dis- not work in a day, rather over the course of time. As this advice is sourced in the Torah, this regarding insult is worth its weight against many thousands of self- means it is a law of nature; just as gravity works, so too, this advice. In cases where it appears that peace cannot be realized, it may be wise to consider tak- afflictions (such as fasting). Aside from this, a person who does so ing counsel with a third party. A Rav or a professional counselor can often provide ideas stands to be greatly rewarded for his righteousness in the Next World, and strategies which one never considered. Countless marriages and countless family re- lationships have been nurtured back to a healthy and strong harmony as a result of good term basis (divorce settlements, rehabilitation clinics, etc.) while the misery still remains. counseling. “But it can cost a lot of money,” one might say. Just as one spends money for He could have been spared all of this had he only acted when the time was ripe. This policy medical expenses, whether he has it or not, the same applies here. If he neglects to go to is endorsed by the Torah, as it states (Mishlei Ch. 11:14) “Salvation lies in much counsel.” a doctor because of money, he becomes especially prone to paying a much greater price in 435 Rosh Hashanah 17a. the future. Sometimes he may be too late. So too, if one neglects counsel before things have 436 6:1. gotten out of hand, he may discover one day that he might have waited too long. Now he 437 Shmiras HaLashon, Shaar HaTevunah, Ch. 8. is forced to spend untold amounts of money in other things, and some of them on a long 438 Rosh Hashanah 17a. 164 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 165 as our Sages say,439 “It has been taught: Those who hear insult but do By absorbing the positive messages being sent, he can not take insult, who listen to others’ insults and do not respond, who literally become transformed into a different, new and act out of love and rejoice in suffering [Rashi: on account of the in- improved person. This takes place because the words of sult that has been spoken against them], concerning these people the the Torah Sage become for him a new soul that emanates verse says,440 ‘His loved ones shall be as the sun at its zenith.’” from a powerful source, and this in turn adds much radi- ance to his being and new energy, to help subdue the ele- 11. Attending lectures on ethics ment of evil within him, and he can come to completely return to Hashem. He indeed will be healed. Although it can sometimes be an Listening to mussar enormous pleasure to attend a lecture from a Chochom can There is a great difference between hearing a discourse “live,” or in Jewish ethics, there are, however, be more effective reading it from a book or another source. Although ethical teachings other advantages to be gained — apart than learning from a can always be beneficial regardless of the means being used, nonethe- from the important and useful in- sefer. less there remains an added dimension in hearing the words directly formation transmitted. The Midrash from a Talmid Chochom because his words can penetrate the recesses says,441 “When the wise man commences speaking, and people an- of one’s soul and serve to kindle a fresh new fire, which will blaze new swer after him, ‘Yehei Shemo HaGadol Mevorach,’442 even if a writ of and brighter pathways.446 decrees for one hundred years [has been written against the lis- tener]; Hashem forgives all of his sins.” 12. Judging Favorably The reason why a person’s attendance is so important is ex- Learning to judge others favorably, apart from being a great mitz- plained in Mesilas Yesharim,443 “For, by hearing the words of criti- vah in its own right, carries with it the advantage of averting evil de- cism and rebuke (spoken out of love), he will be motivated to re- crees before their onset. Rebbi Yehudah bar Shiloh said in the name of pent.” If the goal is repentance, why does one need to attend a Rebbi Yossi, who said in the name of Rebbi Yochanan,447 “For six things lecture? Why does it not suffice to simply read a mussar (ethics) a man stands to gain the dividends in this world while his principal book? Surely one gains motivation to repent also from this. This remains intact for the Next World. They are … one who judges others question is answered by the Taharas Kodesh:444 favorably448… It is taught: One who judges others favorably, is judged Anyone who sets his heart and ears to hear well, and takes favorably [in Heaven].” This statement requires understanding. What to heart the words (of the Rabbi) and considers repenting, does it mean that one will be judged favorably in Heaven? How can upon him it is written,445 “Take heed and you will live.” there be any comparison drawn between how a person judges others,
439 Shabbos 88b. 446 After understanding this, new light is shed on the custom of Chassidic Jewry to attend 440 Shoftim 5:31. weekly gatherings with their Rebbe, otherwise known as a Tish. From attending such gath- 441 Koheles Rabbah §9:15. erings and listening to the words of the Rebbe, one can often find much new inspiration. 442 This is in reference to the kaddish prayer recited following the lecture. 447 Shabbos 127a. 443 ch. 5. 448 The other mitzvos mentioned there are housing guests, visiting the sick, praying with great 444 Maamar Teshuvos Segulios 15. mental investment, arriving to the study hall early to learn and raising ones children to be 445 Yeshayah 55:3. Torah scholars. 166 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 167 and how Heaven judges him? In Heaven, everything is clear without what was done was absolutely fine and just. If this were so, the doubt. Over here things are shrouded in mystery. The answer to this explanation of his action would sometimes border on the absurd. question is found in the sefer Taharas HaKodesh. He writes in the Judging favorably includes the notion that at least his intentions name of the early tzaddikim:449 were good, even if his actions were not. If judging favorably includes merely assuming that the other per- Heaven does not judge a person until he himself judges son had good intentions, then it is not difficult at all to do this, and another first. For example, when a person thinks about really believe it. The Shelah explains this is because of the great holi- someone that, “This man deserves such-and-such a ness innate to every Jewish soul. His soul influences him to do things punishment for doing such-and- Judge others with good intentions.451 such an act,” at that moment he favorably and Bearing these points in mind, we see that the mitzvah of judging is judged in Heaven in that very Hashem will judge others favorably is in fact very truthful, as chances are the person had same way for a similar act he him- you favorably good intentions. Take yourself, for example. Think of some of the mis- self hitherto performed. Thus, he takes you have made in the past. Although now you regret them, of who accustoms himself to judge others favorably, giving course your intentions were at least good. Other people are just like you. the benefit of the doubt and emphasizing the positive Note: There is much more to be said about this mitzvah and its over the negative, will himself benefit greatly, for then, laws. The reader is referred to the sefer Chafetz Chaim.452 when there will be a similar complaint lodged against him before the Heavenly Tribune, they will say to the 13. Answering Kaddish with all one’s strength. accuser, “Just as he judged favorably, you have no per- When a person attends a minyan, he is given the opportunity to mission to hold him responsible, but only to find him answer “amen” to the Kaddish prayer on meritorious… for there is no man for whom some favor- Answering Kaddish several occasions. Aside from the great able argument cannot be made; perhaps he was forced or with kavana is mitzvah involved in answering “amen” he was weak-minded at that moment, etc.” unbelievably to any blessing or prayer,453 there is great If one habituates himself to judge his fellow man favorably, he powerful power when answering “Amen, Yehei causes himself to be judged favorably, thereby reducing the chances of Shmei Rabbah…” during Kaddish. Rebbi any hard edict to become decreed upon him. Yehoshua ben Levi says,454 “Anyone who answers ‘Amen, Yehei Shmei The concept of judging favorably seems hard to understand. Rabbah ...’ with all his might, will have his evil decree nullified … even The Torah is a Torah of truth. Why should one try always to see if he has a sin as grave as idolatry, it is forgiven him.” other people’s actions in a positive light, when you know that in- What does “with all his might” mean precisely? Rashi under- deed what was done was absolutely wrong? This mitzvah would stands this to mean that it should be said with all of one’s intention. 450 appear to contradict the very fiber of the Torah! Rashi explains 451 This is based on the Talmudic concept of Chezkas Kashrus. that in order to judge favorably, it is not necessary to think that 452 BePsicha L’Asein, and in the Be’er Mayim Chaim there. 453 Indeed, our Sages teach us (Berachos 53b) that there is greater merit involved in saying 449 Maamar Teshuvos Segulios 18. “amen” to a blessing, than in saying the blessing itself. 450 Shabbos 127b. 454 Shabbos 119b. 168 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 169
Tosafos455 explains it to mean that it should be said in a loud voice. Modesty is something which emanates from the highest origins of One would be advised to endeavor to satisfy both opinions. It should the Jewish soul, for men460 and women alike. It permeates the way be pointed out however, that when one says “Yehei Shmei…” in a loud we think, speak and act. Speaking loudly, for example, in public voice (like the Tosafos suggests), he should be careful not to use an places is not considered modest conduct, while speaking quietly is unusually loud voice, for apart from looking strange, he causes oth- modest. Dressing in a way which draws attention (because of the ers to deride him for it, which is considered like placing a stumbling style, exposure, colors etc.) is not modest, while dressing humbly is block before others.456 modest. Driving a car which is attention grabbing is not modest, and the list continues. 14. Modesty This is a very subtle point. Special attention should be given to the We find in Iyov, 457 that Iyov used to offer up sacrifices to affect fact that the Western world today is anything but modest. We need atonement for his entire family, just in case there was a need. to double our efforts to resist the negative influence and promote the How fortunate was his family, to have a father who took care of beautiful ways of modesty, as was practiced by our great forebears. their material and spiritual needs. Today, we unfortunately do not have a Temple to offer up sacrifices. Is there another way that 15. Crying over the death of a good person (adam kasher) one can atone for one’s family? The Midrash answers The Gemara teaches,461 affirmatively,458 “Rebbi Pinchas HaKohen bar Chamah said: When Crying over the Anyone who cries and mourns a woman is modest in her house, just as the Altar atones, so does death of the upright over an upright individual merits she atone for her household…” In the merit of being modest, a to have all of his sins forgiven, as through his conduct, woman can affect atonement for her entire household. Take note he has accorded honor to the deceased … Hashem counts that the Midrash refers to being modest inside the house. Need- each tear and places them in his hidden chambers. less to say, a woman must be modest outside the home. This is the letter of the law. Inside the home, the Halacha becomes a lot Sometimes, a person can perform such serious offenses as to war- more lenient in regards to modest dress. The women who goes rant to have a child perish as a result,462 Heaven forbid. The Maharsha463 beyond the letter of the law and excels in modesty also inside her and the Ben Ish Chai464 both point out that in the merit of crying over home, merits the special blessing that she atones for herself to- the demise of a good person, such a decree becomes annulled. gether with the entire household.459 Modesty is not a dress code. Mod- 16. Performing a mitzvah with quality Modesty is not a esty penetrates much deeper than that. dress code – it is an Though some specific mitzvos are particularly effective in atoning for sin as we have noted above, still, every mitzvah has the power to 455 Ad loc. attitude and it brings 456 See Mishnah Berurah 56 §5. great blessings 457 1:5. 460 See tractate Megilla 13b about the modesty of King Shaul. 458 Midrash Tanchuma Vayishlach §6. 461 Shabbos 105b. 459 Similar to this we find in tractate Yoma (47a) that Kimchis merited to have seven sons 462 See Tractate Shabbos 32b. who all served as Kohen Gadol in the merit of keeping high standards of modesty inside 463 Shabbos 105b in Chiddushei Aggados. the home. 464 Ben Yehoyada on Shabbos 105b. See more on this in Chiddushei Chasom Sofer there. 170 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 171 bring atonement if performed in an outstanding manner. The Gemara a) When one is presented with an opportunity to do a mitz- states,465 “Anyone who performs a mitzvah to perfection, even an evil vah, he should perform the mitzvah immediately and not decree of seventy years is rescinded.” The Pele Yoetz writes,466 “How put it aside. This applies even if he wants to do a different good is the portion of a person if he suffers pain or discomfort in or- mitzvah instead.469 der to perform a mitzvah. There is no doubt that this brings much b) Mitzvos must be performed with honor and proper de- atonement. For instance, if he must put much effort to fulfill the mitz- cor, and not with an attitude of frivolity or in a manner vah...” TheShevet Mussar writes467 that by performing mitzvos with all of disgrace. Similarly, one should not use a mitzvah to one’s strength and concentration, the suffering decreed upon him can gain physical pleasure There are several easy become annulled. from it at the time of ways to ‘upgrade’ our What does it mean to perform a its performance. For Do mitzvos with performance of mitzvos mitzvah with perfection? This question is example, to light a ci- excellence something of critical importance to every gar from the Chanukah candles or read by their light. Jew. A typical day is full of doing a variety of mitzvos, and in the merit of c) One should beautify his mitzvos, meaning that he should their performance, reward is earned in the World to Come. If a person endeavor to fulfill them with all of his strength, and not studies many years to become a professional in order to be able to earn halfheartedly. He should also use choice materials to himself a livelihood in this world, then all the more so, a person should fulfill his mitzvah, even if it makes it more expensive. dedicate time and energy to learn how to perform the mitzvos with excel- For example, to use fine quality wine for the mitzvah of lence to provide himself sustenance in the Next World! The correct fulfill- Kiddush, Simchas Yom Tov or for the Four Cups on the ment of the Torah’s mitzvos is our very purpose in life — surely we must Seder night. endeavor to fulfill these holy precepts to the best of our ability. d) One should perform a mitzvah personally, as opposed It goes without saying that in order to perform a mitzvah well, to having someone else perform it for him. For exam- one first needs to study the laws governing that mitzvah to ensure all ple, one should polish his own shoes on Friday to honor of its conditions have been satisfied. Sometimes, the absence of even the Shabbos and not have his wife or maid do it in his one minute detail can render a mitzvah obsolete. However, even after stead.470 one is familiar with the laws, there are a number of other basic rules to mitzvah performance in general. One who is careful to apply these 469 In a scenario where by doing the mitzvah later he will be able to do it in a better way (bi- rules will greatly elevate the quality of his mitzvos, impacting heavily hidur), there are diverse opinions. The Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim 426) rules in favor to on his own path to perfection and his portion in the World to Come. delay the fulfillment of the mitzvah whereas the Sefer Chassidim rules in favor to seize the op- portunity and perform the mitzvah now. The Chaye Adam concurs with the Sefer Chassidim. 468 The Chaye Adam dedicates a whole chapter to explaining the basic 470 Although without doubt, one who has a mitzvah done on his behalf by another, is credited rules of mitzvah performance. Here are a few highlights: with that mitzvah, nonetheless, by doing so he loses getting rewarded for the physical ex- ertion and happiness involved in executing the mitzvah. The person who actually performs the mitzvah gets rewarded for this. For this reason, there is a great mitzvah involved in be- 465 Shabbos 63a according to the text of Rabbeinu Yona, as he sites in Avos 2:1. ing a mohel. Even though he is only doing the mitzvah on behalf of the father, he partakes 466 Erech “yissurim.” in the reward for the mitzvah as he is the one physically doing it and being happy over it. 467 14:18. There is a dispute amongst the later authorities which one is greater, the one who has the 468 Section A Chapter 68. mitzvah done on his behalf, or the one who actually did the mitzvah. 172 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 173
e) One who starts a mitzvah should be careful that he j) One should endeavor to fulfill mitzvos with physical exer- himself finishes the mitzvah, not leaving it over to tion. For example, to walk fast or run to get to shul or hear someone else. a class. The Sages teach475 that in measure to the energy in- f) Before one does any mitzvah, he should bear in mind that vested in execution of a mitzvah, so too will be his reward. he is doing it for the sake of a mitzvah (l’sheim mitzvah). k) One should look forward and anticipate performing his This applies especially to mitzvos that one would have done next mitzvah. in any case as a matter of common sense, for example hon- l) One should be careful to pay for his mitzvos, as op- oring ones parents, being charitable, being careful not to posed to getting them for free. The Zohar476 places murder or steal or not eating insects.471 enormous stress on this point. (For example, not to g) It can be possible to do a mitzvah, and be reprimanded perform the mitzvah of lulav with a borrowed one, to for it. How so? If a person performed a mitzvah in a pay, when possible, for an aliyah to the Torah or other way which was only made possible from doing a sin. mitzvos “sold” at shul.) For example, to wear stolen tzitzis or shake a stolen m) One should perform mitzvos out of love for Hashem and lulav. In such a case, one creates an accusing angel not for other motivations or benefits. It goes without say- through his ‘mitzvah.’ ing that one should not do them just to relieve himself h) If it is possible to fulfill the mitzvah together with other from obligations. Rather, they should be cherished and people (three or more), there is an added dimension of performed out of love, in a way that even had he not been perfection to the mitzvah, as it states in Mishlei,472 “With obliged to do so, he very much desires to do them and a multitude of people, is the glory of the King.” The Sages longs for them, since he knows they bring Hashem great say there is no comparison between an individual perform- pleasure (nachas ruach), and he wants to bestow pleasure ing a mitzvah as opposed to a group performing a mitzvah. to the One he loves. For example, attending a Torah class is greater than learn- n) One should perform the mitzvos out of fear for Hashem. ing alone. Praying with a congregation is far more powerful For example, when presented a chance to eat non-kosher than praying alone.473 meat, one should not reject it saying, “I do not like this i) One should be careful to perform each mitzvah with great food,” rather he should say, “I like it, but Hashem has com- joy and happiness. He should endeavor to be happier when manded me not to eat it.” doing a mitzvah, than if he had found a hoard of money o) One needs to be careful not to “find” an exemption from and all pleasures of this world.474 doing a mitzvah on the grounds that it is too costly. Rath- er, it is incumbent on a person to spend up to a tenth of his 471 See Shulchan Aruch, 60, subsection 4, with the Mishnah Berurah and Biur Halacha for a detailed discussion. a mitzvah is a mitzvah.” That is to say that the happiness one has when doing a mitzvah 472 ch. 14:28. is in and of itself a mitzvah. It is well known that the Arizal testified about himself, that 473 An exception to this rule is the mitzvah of charity. Here, to the degree of secrecy involved, he reached his awesome spiritual heights in the merit that he was careful to perform his will be his reward. In fact, if he gives charity in public in a way that causes the poor man mitzvos with great happiness and joy. embarrassment, he stands to be punished for it, as we find in the Gemara. 475 Vayikra Rabbah §21:11. 474 See the commentary of the Bartenurah on what it says in Avos (4:2), that “the reward of 476 Parshas Terumah. 174 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 175
possessions (some say more) to fulfill a mitzvah. However, Torah.” And our Sages comment on this480 that anyone who went out when pertaining to avoiding transgressing a negative com- to fight King Dovid’s wars would write a divorce certificate to his wife. mandment, one is obligated to give up all he owns before If so, when Dovid visited Bas Sheva, she was not considered a married violating the commandment (for example, if he is threat- woman, rather, a divorced one. Being as that was the case, it emerges ened to lose his job if he does not violate Shabbos, he must that King Dovid’s only infraction committed with her was with his eyes, observe Shabbos.)477 as is written,481 “He saw a woman bathing on the roof.” Dovid corrected p) If one sees that there is a mitzvah that people are lax from the sin of his eyes by crying with his eyes out of repentance, and that is observing, one should strive to fulfill it, as such a mitzvah is what is written, “Streams of tears shall my eyes shed.” compared to a deceased person lacking burial; the mitzvah We see that in the manner a person sinned, he may gain atone- laments before the Heavenly tribune, “How lowly I must ment. In the sefer Orchos Tzaddikim482 we find several examples of how be, as I am utterly ignored.” to apply this teaching. He writes: q) When one is presented an opportunity to perform any How does one improve his deeds in the manner by which mitzvah, he should be careful not to perform the mitzvah he sinned? If he gazed immorally, he should train himself in a hasty fashion, rather he should contemplate the mitz- to lower his gaze. If he spoke slander against someone, he vah, making sure to be suitably prepared. Only then should should speak words of Torah … Legs quick to run and sin, he go on to fulfill it, with a calm and settled spirit. Experi- will now be quick to run to do a mitzvah. The mouth that ence has proven that when mitzvos are performed out of spoke falsely — it should speak truth and wisdom. Hands haste, they are prone to error. (A classic example of this that shed innocent blood — open his hand to the poor. is Pesach evening when eating the matzos. They should be Prideful, upraised eyes — be humble and lower one’s eaten in a relaxed fashion with great peace of mind. Con- gaze. A heart that broods sinful thoughts — he should cerning the time allotment for eating them, a competent consider sayings of Torah. Orthodox Rabbi should be consulted.)
17. In the manner of transgression, is the rectification 18. There is no power except for Hashem The Midrash says, “With every limb Limbs used for In Nefesh HaChaim483 we find a powerful that one used to sin, he should do a mitz- misdeeds should now antidote to nullify yissurim. There are sever- Say – and believe vah, and this will guard him against that be used for mitzvos al cases of those who have used his method – Ain Od Milvado sin.” In other words, one can rectify his successfully and were saved from precari- (there is nothing but wrong by ‘doing good’ with the vessels originally used for evil. The ous dangers.484 This is what he writes: Hashem) Ruach Chaim478 writes that we learn this principle from King Dovid, 480 Shabbos 56a. who said,479 “My eyes will shed streams of tears for not keeping Your 481 Shmuel II 11:2. 482 Shaar HaTeshuvah. 477 One faced with difficulties such as these is advised to take advice from a qualified Rabbi. 483 3:12. 478 Avos 5:22. 484 It is well-known that the Rav of Brisk used this method on his way out of Nazi Poland. 479 Tehillim 119:136. In spite of being surrounded with Nazis hunting down Jews (especially Rabbis), and in 176 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 177
In truth, there is an incredibly powerful tool to remove but is hospitalized, or a person stranded at sea. Apart from prayer and annul from a person every judgment from above, and and repentance, are there any other things a person in such straits can also the desires of others from upon himself, that they do? The answer is yes. There is something a person can do, which is on cannot have any power over him, and cannot do anything the one hand very simple, yet on the other extremely effective. Rab- to him at all. This is when a person sets it in his heart to beinu Bachaye writes,486 say, “Hashem is the true power, and there is no other pow- Anyone who accepts upon himself to do a Torah deed, er besides Him, not in this world, nor in any of the worlds even though he has not yet done it, he is forgiven at all. All existence is filled only with the perfect oneness from the moment he accepted of His Blessed Name (ein od milvado).” By meditating on upon himself to do it, provided Accepting to do a this, one nullifies [any other perceived force] in his heart his commitment was sincere. mitzvah is credited totally, and does not pay any concern to any other force This is explicitly stated in the as having done a or desire in the world, and commits himself, and attaches verse,487 “For from the first day mitzvah his pure thought only to the One Lord, Blessed is He. In that you set your heart to … fast the merit of this, Hashem will grant him that the forces before your God, your words were heeded.” and influences in the world will disappear from upon him, they will not be able to act upon him in any manner.485 In other words, in Heaven, one gains credit for a mitzvah from the time he accepts upon himself to do it. This principle finds itself echoed 19. The weight of a commitment in the writings of other great Rabbis. The Orchos Tzaddikim writes,488 “From the moment he makes the commitment, this man attains mer- We have seen that there are a variety of different mitzvos that can it, and in a single small moment, he goes from darkness to great light, protect a person from suffering. What about a person who is unable to and he has the reward and the merit of all the mitzvos [that he ac- perform these mitzvos? Is he destined to suffer? Consider, for exam- cepted to do] … since he made the mental commitment to do them.” ple, a person who was in an earthquake and finds himself alive and Bearing this in mind, we gain new insight into the greatness of well, but trapped underground, or a person who survives a car accident the statement,489 “We shall do, and we shall hear (Na-ase VeNishmah).” The Jewish People accepted to do whatever the Torah instructed. With spite of traveling along the main road out of Poland, the Brisker Rav escaped to Russia unscathed. He credited this miracle to the fact that he employed the method advised in this grand statement they merited to become credited for the fulfill- Nefesh HaChaim throughout the duration of his perilous journey. ment of the entire Torah.490 485 There is a deep explanation pertaining to this in a letter written by HaRav Eliyahu Wein- traub zt”l. He writes that to the extent that a person trusts and lives with this thought — Someone in a life threatening predicament can make a commit- where he senses this truth in a basic way, that there is nothing at all besides Hashem, and ment to do something, such as being more careful with Shabbos, or to that all the forces in Creation are nothing — to that extent he has elevated himself in his trust in Hashem, and at the root of all roots above in the heavens applies the verse: “For I said, ‘The world is built on kindness,’” and this person will in turn merit being governed by 486 Kad HaKemach, Erech “Kippurim.” Divine Kindness, since he has attained a grasp and appreciation of what lies at the root of 487 Daniel 10:12. everything (Hashem). So too, the person who remains cognizant of this reality that there 488 Shaar HaTeshuvah. is nothing besides Hashem, merits measure-for-measure to be treated in accordance to the 489 Shemos 24:7. nature of this root. 490 See Rabbeinu Yona on Avos 3:9. 178 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 179 give a certain amount to charity. With such a commitment he receives all four types of death had been pronounced upon me… How- immediate credit. With this increased merit he greatly increases his ever, Hashem had compassion on me. About 15 or 20 minutes possibilities of being saved. A person can even make a conditional after the explosion and ensuing collapse of the house, I heard commitment, such as, “If I get out of this situation, I will give this the voices of many people. They had come to try and rescue much to charity.” This suggestion finds its way codified in Jewish people who were buried amongst all the fallen debris. As they Law.491 One can even make such a commitment without a vow.492 walked through the debris trying to save people, they acciden- In just about every Bais HaMidrash you will find a sefer called Pnei tally killed many. More died from this than from the original Yehoshua. Thissefer is full of incredible chiddushei Torah. Few people collapse. They cannot be blamed. This was required in order to know what it was that inspired the author to pen this work. The au- rescue people. For me, I was gladdened. It appeared now that thor makes the following testimony:493 I was not for sure going to die. There was now a chance I may still live. That was when I made the commitment. I pledged Here is the place to explain how this work came about. It was to Hashem, “If you rescue me from here, and provide for me because of a vow I made, at a time of dire danger, as I will de- a place to teach Torah, I will fully dedicate myself to in-depth scribe. It was the third of Kisleiv, in the year 5463 in the city learning of Shas and poskim. If it takes many days to clarify a of Levov. I was sitting peacefully in my house with my friends matter, I am prepared to do it...” Before I had finished saying and students. Suddenly, in a split second, without the slight- these words, Hashem already had answered my prayer. Before est of warning at all, a massive ball of fire entered into the my very eyes I saw a pathway through the debris. I walked house (an explosion). What had happened was that several through the debris to safety, completely unscathed. Without huge containers of Polveer (a highly flammable substance) any doubt, it was Hashem’s salvation, in a place where there became ignited. The fire destroyed many houses in the neigh- was no rescue. From then on, my main learning has been in borhood. Many great homes, strong and fortified, were razed Halacha, the sugios of Shas with poskim… I wrote what ap- to the ground. About 36 yidden died in the blaze. Amongst peared to me was the truth. them were my wife, my mother and maternal grandfather. My youngest daughter, who was so cherished by her mother, and The Pnei Yehoshua made a commitment in his time of duress. ever so precious to me, had also perished. As for myself, (upon Hashem listened. He carried through on his commitment, and today the explosion) I had fallen deep in the earth (the house had we have the sefer “Pnei Yehoshua.” collapsed). Above me were the broken beams of my house. I was trapped. I said to myself, “It has been decreed upon me 20. The best advice to die young. I will never see a man again.” I was afraid that The Rosh Yeshiva of Ner Yisroel, Rav Aharon Feldman told the fol- my house would turn into my grave. I stood to be stoned, lowing story: burned, pierced and suffocated all at once. The judgment of In a small village in pre-war Europe, Avoid the mud and there was an old wagon driver. He 491 See Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 571:3; see Levush ad loc. and Kaf HaChaim. there is nothing to be was reliable and deft in his trade. 492 See Piskei Teshuvas §621:6, in the name of responsa Lehoros Nosan Vol. 9 §4. cleansed 493 See introduction to Pnei Yehoshua. One day, a new wagon driver took 180 This Too Is For The Best Substitutes for Yissurim 181
up residence in the village. He was young, and so were his situations which bring him close to sin, as it states in Mishlei,494 “The stallions. He competed with the old driver for business. The wise man is afraid, and keeps a distance from evil.” old wagon driver approached his young competitor, and com- Understanding this, it becomes obvious how critical it is for plained that he was taking away his livelihood. The young one to become aware of the all of the laws of the Torah, as other- driver said, “I also need to make a living, and this town is wise he might be making Torah violations on a daily basis without big enough for the both of us.” The old man replied, “I un- even being aware of it. He has no chance of repenting as he does derstand your position, and I’ll allow you to work together not know what to repent for. His soul becomes increasingly filthy with me… but on one condition. I want to first test you, and with sin, making the yissurim process a foregone conclusion. The see if you have the know-how to be a good wagon driver.” Chafetz Chaim writes:495 “Agreed,” said the young driver. The old man asked, “It’s a Even though, when it comes to Torah study, whatever a terribly stormy day. Your wagon is filled with passengers person learns, even if the topic is pertaining to things of and luggage, when suddenly you slide into a ditch where one no practical relevance, he still fulfills the positive com- of your wheels sinks deep into the mud. You’re stuck. There mandment of learning Torah, nonetheless, the mainstay is no way for you to get the wheel out. What are you going of a person’s learning should be study that brings to prac- to do?” The young man said, “First of all, I’ll take down all tice (Halacha). For this reason, our Sages say,496 “Hashem of the luggage in order to lighten the wagon. Then, if need loves the gates of Zion more than all the dwellings of Yaa- be, I’ll have the passengers get off, too” “Good,” said the old kov.” Hashem loves the academies that specialize in Jew- man, “you’ve done that, but the wagon still won’t budge. ish Law, more than the houses of prayer and houses of What are you going to do now?” “I’d take a few branches study of Yaakov. See also in Shulchan Aruch497 where the and place them under the wheel, and this way, the horse can Shach quotes the Prishah, that every man has to learn Hal- pull the wagon out of the mud.” “We’re talking about where acha each day, in order that his study should bring him to you can’t find any branches.” “So, I’ll use stones instead of practice, and by learning Jewish Law, a man is assured of branches.” “There are no stones, either.” Silence pervades. attaining life in the World to Come... Then the young driver speaks. “I don’t know what to do, but what, pray tell, would you do in such a situation?” The old Therefore, the best advice that a driver grinned and said, “An experienced wagon driver is The substitutes of person can follow is to increase his careful never to end up in the mud in the first place!” yissurim offer the study of Torah, especially those areas same blessings — of practical relevance, as in this way Only a person who has become stuck in the mud has a need to without the pain he veers away from any ditch or pot- seek ways out of it. So too, only one who has become dirtied from the hole, preserving the cleanliness of his soul, and even goes on to filth of transgression has a need to find ways of atonement. The wise man keeps his eyes open and steers himself clear away from the ditch 494 14:16. See there the commentary of the Vilna Gaon. in the first place. Not only is he careful not to sin, he tries to avoid 495 Introduction to Mishnah Berurah. 496 Brachos 8a. 497 Yoreh Deah 246. 182 This Too Is For The Best adorn his soul with fine character and good deeds. This way he greatly minimizes any yissurim (in this world and the next) while at the same time assures himself a generous portion in the World to Come.
-8- Approaching a Friend who is Suffering
ntil now, we have discussed how a person needs to accept all the events of his life wholeheartedly and willingly, for everything that occurs is for his best. Indeed, yissurim are a very great blessing in disguise, to the point that one can rejoice over them. As the Gemara says in Sanhedrin,498 “Yissurim are precious.” Being cognizant of this, one may become prone to think that when yissurim befall someone else, that he in If suffering is good, fact is very lucky: “Look how Hashem why not just let loves him and cares to rectify him. Since others suffer? he is so lucky, I am not going to try to help him out of his predicament. I do not want to take away his bless- ing. Why should I deprive him of the myriad benefits of yissurim?”
498 101a. 184 This Too Is For The Best Approaching a Friend who is Suffering 185
However, there seems to be a contradiction. In tractate Brachos499 means. This is why Rebbi Chiyya bar Abba did not want his suffering, we find that Rebbi Yochanan asked Rebbi Chiyya bar Abba (who was in and this is why we pray to escape them and why we have a mitzvah the midst of yissurim), “Are yissurim dear to you?” He replied, “Neither to help our friends out of them. On the other hand, when, in spite of the yissurim, nor their reward!” This suggests that it is not good for a our efforts, yissurim arrive, we accept them gladly, remembering the person to suffer. We find a similar sentiment in the Grace after Meal myriad Divine Kindnesses abounding within them. On this the Sages prayer,500 “And release us, Hashem our God, quickly from all of our said, “Yissurim are precious.” travails.” We pray to be relieved from yissurim. With this we can approach a friend who is suffering. He is in dis- So are yissurim good or bad? We have seen dozens of sources stat- tress. He is in pain. Where another Jew is in need, others have a mitz- ing clearly that they are good, but then why should we pray to avoid vah to help him, as the Rambam writes,501 “It is a mitzvah for every them and help others out of them? person to love every other Jew as he loves himself, as it is written,502 Many sources praise One way to address this is as follows. ‘Love your fellow man,’ and to care for his property as he would care yissurim, yet we pray Yissurim are relative. Obviously the best for his own.” If we are commanded to care for our fellow’s possessions to avoid them — why? situation is where a person should not that they should not become damaged or harmed, how much more so have any suffering whatsoever. On the other hand, a person who has are we obliged to look after his physical and emotional well-being, for a need for atonement, yissurim of this world rectify his soul, and save example, helping him out of a stressful situation.503 him from the much greater pains that would otherwise befall him in the Next World. In this respect, yissurim are precious. Judge him favorably It is all relative. When analyzing yissurim from the angle that they bring manifold benefits, they are a great blessing. However, when It was explained above504 that a person is safe to assume that his analyzing yissurim from the angle of what they do to a person (cause yissurim are coming as atonement. Therefore, upon seeing a friend go- pain, inhibiting), they are surely unwanted. If the only way to gain ing through yissurim, one is prone to thinking, “He must have done atonement would be through yissurim, then it would not make sense a terrible sin, and therefore he has such yissurim. He ought to be re- to pray for them to go away. It is better to have the yissurim now than buked for what he has done.” later. However, as was mentioned in Chapter 7, there are other op- This attitude is mistaken. In the Navi Iyov we find that Iyov’s tions available (i.e various mitzvos). These options are preferred over friends, upon seeing his yissurim, gave him words of rebuttal for hav- ‘regular’ yissurim, as they are done voluntarily, and apart from aton- ing sinned so much. The degree of sin appeared to be evident from ing, they increase one’s merit in the World to Come. Let him invest his the massive amount of yissurim that Iyov had. Hashem himself re- energies in learning Torah. Let him keep Shabbos with excellence. This buked Iyov’s friends for this:505 “Hashem said to Elifaz the Yemenite: is far better than waiting for Heaven-sent yissurim. My anger burns against you and your two comrades.” Rashi explains With this in mind, we can answer the contradiction. We do not want yissurim to befall ourselves or anyone else, since the same atone- 501 Hilchos Deos 6:3. 502 Vayikra 19:18. ment can be achieved through other, more comfortable and lucrative, 503 See also Sefer Chassidim, Tomer Devorah, and Shemiras HaLashon amongst others who cite the fulfillment of the mitzvah of loving your fellow man, when helping him out of yissurim. 499 5b. 504 ch. 2 §5. 500 In the third benediction pertaining to the building of Yerushalayim. 505 Iyov 42:7. 186 This Too Is For The Best Approaching a Friend who is Suffering 187 the verse:506 “Iyov’s friends sinned by condemning Iyov … and assum- taken lightly. Indeed, one who mentions to a person in pain, “You ing him to be wicked… they should have comforted him as did Elihu. deserve this because you have sinned,” or other similar statements, It was not enough that Iyov was in such pain and suffering that they in spite of any good intentions, has transgressed a Torah prohibi- added on to his travails by rebuking for naught.” tion, as it states:509 “A man shall not make his friend suffer.” This is It is clear that Iyov’s friends made a twofold mistake: referring to mental distress caused by words (Ona-as Dvarim), as our Sages explain:510 A) They felt safe to assume that Iyov was a wicked man because his sins were the cause of his suffering (when in fact Iyov What is considered making your friend suffer? If someone was very righteous). has a dubious history, but has since bettered his ways, one B) Their words of rebuke added extra pain. This is considered a must not say to him, “Remember your early days?” If he type of verbal abuse. is the son of converts, do not say to him, “Remember your father’s Telling someone However, these two points need to be clarified. Why were Iyov’s ways.” If he himself is a convert and they deserve their friends wrong? Were they not correct to assume that the yissurim wants to learn Torah, do not say suffering only adds to come from sin? Why were Iyov’s friends to him, “The mouth that ate non- it… and is forbidden If a person taken to task over this? kosher meat, vermin and slithering transgressed, it does Even if a person sinned, this does things, should now come and learn the Torah uttered by not automatically not necessarily render him into a wicked the Omnipotent One?” If suffering or illness befalls a per- make him a bad person (rasha). Maybe this person has re- son, or he buries his children, do not say to him as Iyov’s person pented.507 Perhaps the sin was committed friends said to him… unintentionally. Maybe he is an exception 511 and his yissurim are “yissurim out of love” or “for a test.” For any one The Ben Ish Chai writes: “One might think that is it permissible of the above possibilities, the friend would not be considered wicked, to say to a suffering person that his sins are the cause of his suffering and one needs to give him the benefit of the doubt.508 so he should declare the justice of his punishment and come to repent; Thus, although it is true that yissurim come chiefly as a result as in truth, a person with yissurim is obliged to do just that, therefore, of sin, this does not render a person a rasha, Heaven Forbid. Quite the Gemara tells us, that this is forbidden to say this to him, for he 512 to the contrary, he is a person very much beloved by Hashem, as is causes him embarrassment by doing so.” seen from the fact that Hashem cares for him like a treasured son, Another reason not to rebuke a suffering person is because the to rectify his blemishes and improve him in manifold ways through mitzvah to rebuke has parameters. One may only offer a word of rebuke these yissurim. if he knows of a particular sin his friend has done. If one cannot iden- Pertaining to the second error of Iyov’s friends that they re- tify the specific transgression, there is no mitzvah to rebuke. Therefore, buked at a time of suffering. This is something that must not be 509 Vayikra 25:17. 506 Ibid. 510 Bava Metzia 58b. 507 See Brachos 19a. 511 Ben Yehoyada, Bava Metzia 58b. 508 See Sefer Chafetz Chaim Laws of Lashon Hara Klal 3: 7-8 and Klal 4: 1-7. 512 See Shulchan Aruch Choshen Mishpat 228 with the associated commentaries. 188 This Too Is For The Best Approaching a Friend who is Suffering 189 when seeing a person with yissurim, since the onlooker does not know The Rambam517 writes: “It is a positive commandment in the To- for what sin the yissurim came, there is no place for rebuke. Even when rah to cry out and sound the trumpets upon any misfortune that a person knows of a sin his friend has done, he must be careful to say it comes upon the community.” Where there is a communal hardship, in a way that will not cause him pain or embarrassment. When a person each member of the community is expected to play a role in relieving is suffering, it is hardly the time to offer words of rebuke.513 the distress, even if the person himself is personally unaffected. The To summarize, when a person has yissurim, there is no place for Maharsha518 brings a proof for this from Sefer Bereishis where Yosef, rebuke because: during the years of famine in Egypt, took pains to relieve his fellow men from their plight, even though he himself most certainly was not 1. The sin is not identified. suffering from hunger. 2. At a time of pain, words of rebuke cause mental anguish. It is incumbent on a person to share If the community During a time of suffering, the Torah approach is to offer a friend in the plight of his suffering brethren. is in pain, each warm words of comfort and encouragement, and to do whatever one However, on a practical note, what does individual must try can, to lighten his burden and rescue him from the situation at hand. this mean? In the present day and age, to help what can a person do to share in the plight 3. Commiseration with the community in a time of suffering of his community? We find in the works of the later authorities519 the The Sages say:514 ideas to fast, pray or give charity. One may also offer physical assistance where feasible. A man should share in the suffering of the community, What constitutes ‘communal suffering’ to oblige one to take for we find concerning Moshe Rabbeinu that he took pains part? The types of situations where the community finds itself in to suffer with the community, as it is written,515 “Moshe’s mortal danger obligates all of its members to share in their plight. hands were heavy; they took a stone and set it beneath him, and This is seen from the Rambam quoted above who cites examples he sat upon it.” Did Moshe Rabbeinu not have a cushion or such as famine, plague and locusts, all of which place the commu- pillow to sit upon? Rather, Moshe said: “Since the Jewish nity in danger of physical survival. In application to modern times, People are suffering I shall also participate in their suffer- we can safely say that a place in the midst of a war or natural di- ing (by sitting on a stone and not a cushion).” Anyone who saster (earthquake, tsunami, tornado, etc) would be considered a suffers with the community, is considered meritorious, and situation of ‘communal suffering,’ obligating all members of the will merit to see the community brought out of its plight.516 community to help relieve the suffering. What happens to a person who separates himself from the com- munity and remains aloof to their suffering? The Gemara teaches:520 “When the Jewish People are suffering, and one of them distances 513 giving rebuke is a great mitzvah. One is referred to review the laws of rebuke, to do so cor- rectly. See Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 608:2, with the associated commentaries, and Im- rei Yaakov on Shulchan Aruch HaRav, Choshen Mishpat, Dinei Ona’ah uGneivas Da’as §28:66. 517 Hil. Taanis 1:1. 514 Taanis 11a. 518 Taanis 11a, in chiddushei aggados. 515 Shemos 17:12. 519 See Shulchan Aruch in Orach Chaim 578 and its associated commentaries. 516 Cf. Bamidbar 11:16 with Rashi, ad loc. 520 Taanis 11a. 190 This Too Is For The Best Approaching a Friend who is Suffering 191 himself, then two Heavenly angels that accompany this man place 4. Commiseration with a person in a time of suffering their hands on his head and say, ‘This man has separated himself from Just as a person is expected to join his community in a time of the community; he shall not see the consolation of the community.’” difficulty, so too, he should help his friend in his time of personal Similarly, we find that this person’s sin is so acute, that he can travail. The Rambam writes:525 “Just as only find atonement for it at the time of his death, as our Sages say:521 Console others in the community fasts over its troubles, “When the community is in trouble, a man should not say, ‘I will go to their times of pain the individual too, fasts for his troubles. my house, eat and drink, and all will be well with me.’ If he does this, When? If someone [he knows] is sick or lost in the wilderness, or on him the verse states:522 ‘It shall be revealed to the ears of the Lord imprisoned, he should fast for him and seek mercy on his behalf of Hosts, if this sin shall be atoned for them until they die.’” through his prayers.” Why is this person dealt with so harshly? Is separating oneself The words of the Rambam need to be clarified. Who exact- from the community really so bad? To understand this, we must ly must he fast and pray for? If you say this includes anyone he understand why one separates himself to begin with. The Rambam knows that needs the help, he might spend his whole life fasting explains:523 “But if they (the people of the community) do not cry out and praying without respite! Also, the Rambam starts off saying and do not blast [the trumpets], but rather say, ‘The thing that befell that an individual should fast for his own troubles, and when cit- us is the way of the world, this tragedy is a case of bad luck,’ this is the ing examples for this, he brings cases of fasting for other people’s path of cruelty, and causes them to cling to their evil ways.” troubles. Furthermore, there seems to be no source in the Ge- The Rambam teaches that there is a twofold problem with this mara for the words of the Rambam — from where does he derive person’s attitude. First, he exercises the trait of cruelty, as he has these laws? the ability to bring the community at least a bit of respite through The Maggid Mishnah offers a penetrating explanation:526 his prayer and charity, and instead of bringing salvation, he stands apart and says it is the way of the world. Secondly, by disregarding Even though the Rambam’s words are not supported ex- the Heaven-sent yissurim, he fails to search his ways to think about plicitly in the Gemara, nonetheless his statement can be why Hashem is sending these misfortunes, thus remaining firmly en- derived by logic. This is because fasting and praying are trenched in the very mistakes which brought upon the misfortune in ways of repentance and submission. As every individual the first place. Regarding a person who lives his life entirely separated is obligated to consider his ways at a time of yissurim and from the Jewish community, see note.524
521 Taanis 11a. 522 Yeshayah 25:13. 523 Hilchos Taanis 1:3. 524 TheRambam writes (Hil. Teshuvah 3:6): “These are the ones who have no portion in the suffering, and does not fast on their fast days, but rather goes his own way as one of the World to Come, but instead are cut off, lost and judged for their extreme wickedness and peoples of the earth and [acts] as if he is not of them [the Jewish People], he does not have are considered sinfulness for eternity: Those who deny the Torah, those who cause the com- a portion in the World to Come.” We can derive from here the great rewards accrued by munity to sin, those who separate themselves from the ways of the community.” He explains someone who shares in the troubles of the community, as the measure of reward is always further (Ibid. 3:13), “One who separates from the ways of the community, even if he never greater than the measure of punishment (mida tova meruba) as we find in tractate Makos. committed a transgression, but just separates himself from the community of the Jewish 525 Hil. Taaniyos 1:9. People, and does not fulfill the mitzvos together with them, and does not join in their 526 Ibid. 192 This Too Is For The Best Approaching a Friend who is Suffering 193
repent, it only follows that in such times he should fast city… and be with them in their suffering, and not say, ‘What differ- and return to Hashem.527 ence is it to me? He is not close to me or my relative.’ Rather, it is ap- propriate to pray without making such distinctions.” We have seen the principle that when one has yissurim, he should This can be understood on a deeper level. It says in the Gemara:529 repent his ways. Needless to say, if one is personally suffering, he has “All the Jewish People are responsible for one another.” The Tomer De- a need for self-evaluation, but it does not stop there. When Reuven vorah explains:530 sees that his friend Shimon is suffering, this causes Reuven pain, as he feels and grieves over Shimon’s plight. Shimon’s pain is considered All the Jewish People are related to one another, because Reuven’s pain, (as has already been discussed, mental anguish also their souls are intertwined… Therefore, it is correct for a qualifies as yissurim) and consequentially Reuven should also intro- person to desire the best for his friend, to see his fortune spect, as he also is suffering. in a positive light and delight in his honor as he would in Now we may begin to correctly understand the Rambam’s words. his own honor, because his friend is actually only an ex- Who must one fast and pray for? For himself, if he is suffering, or for tension of himself. For this reason, we were commanded, other people whom he feels pained over. With this we understand why “Love your fellow man like yourself.” the Rambam begins with one’s personal travails, yet ends describing The pain of one’s friend is actually his own pain, for we are all lik- the travails of others, as he is merely describing cases where one feels ened to one body.531 pained. With this we understand who it is that a person is obligated to Sometimes a person finds that he is cold inside. He knows he pray for, and that is whoever one feels pain for. should be feeling for his friend’s predicament, but the sad reality is We may now answer another question. What precisely is the that he feels nothing. What can a person do to arouse his heart to ear- difference between commiserating with the community or with an nestly care for someone else who is suffering? The Chazon Ish offers individual? The Rambam divided them into two sections. Why? the following advice:532 While one is expected to commiserate with an individual only where he also has pain over it, albeit only mental anguish, when it If you lack the feeling of commiserating in the pain of comes to communal suffering it is different. One is obligated to com- someone else, then what you can try is to endeavor to miserate with the community even where he is not affected or pained help him and relieve him of his suffering. This deed will over their yissurim. have its influence on the heart, and inspire you to ear- It emerges from here, that one has no obligation to pray for some- nestly partake in your friends travail. Also, one is ad- one with yissurim, if he himself is not personally pained over it. De- vised to pray about someone’s pain, even if the words spite this, it is still highly commendable to pray for such individuals. do not flow sincerely from the heart, and even if the one By this, he fulfills the positive Torah precept of loving his fellow man. TheYaaros Devash writes:528 “He should pray for every ill person in the
529 Shavuos 39a. 527 These words are codified as Halacha in Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 578:1, and the Mishnah 530 ch. 1, in his explanation of the attribute, “lesheiris nachalaso.” Berurah §1. Also see the Kaf HaChaim in Orach Chaim 578 §4. 531 See also Sefer Chassidim 753. 528 In his commentary on prayer, on the blessing of Refaeinu. 532 Kovetz Iggros, Vol. 1 §123. 194 This Too Is For The Best Approaching a Friend who is Suffering 195
in pain is one of a dishonorable disposure. This helps to his yissurim (e.g. healed, gain back his losses). As was mentioned awaken one’s heart. previously,534 charity has the ability to save one from death, and all the more so from other travails. Rabbi Moshe Leib of Sassov was known for his capacity to earnestly feel the pain of his fellow man. Whether someone B. Helping by means of body: was suffering physically or mentally, it made no difference. There is a mitzvah to invest one’s physical energy towards helping Once, someone who witnessed this expressed his astonish- a fellow in need. Included in this is helping him to get up, sit or walk, ment to the Rabbi. “How can you share in the travails of buying and delivering things for him, sweeping the house for him or 535 this man so thoroughly?” “What do you mean ‘share,’” re- other similar jobs. plied the Rabbi. “It is my own sorrow, how can I help but suffer it?” C. Helping by means of speech: One can accomplish much with well chosen words. The Chafetz Chaim writes:536 5. Ways to help It is a big mitzvah to ease someone’s suffering and wor- We have seen how important it is to help our fellow man in ries. This is a part of “Love your neighbor as yourself.” his time of need. Interestingly, the person who makes helping his Doing this brings much satisfaction to Hashem. We may friends an important priority, actually ends up gaining very much. understand this by way of analogy. If one had a son in His friends will grow in their appreciation for him. In the same another city who was suffering ter- way he is adorned by people, so too, in Heaven his importance and Helping other people ribly, surely his father would very honor grow with every act of kindness he performs. In the merit of is not contingent much want to find a person there, his commendable behavior, he earns himself an extra measure of on money; there are even one man, who could console Divine Mercy, as our Sages say:533 “Anyone who displays mercy for endless ways to help his son and give him encourage- others will be granted mercy from above…” other people ment, strengthen him etc… So How can we make this teaching a practical part of our daily lives? too, we are all considered as Hashem’s children.537 Thus, In general, there are three ways a person can help his fellow man: a) surely this person who comforts his fellow man, brings with his possessions, b) with his physical body, c) with his speech. Let great satisfaction to the Almighty. us clarify each one. It is similarly possible to help a friend by means of prayer.538 A. Helping by means of possessions: Rabba bar Chanina Sabba said in the name of Rav: “Anyone who One can accomplish much for a friend’s welfare by using his pos- can seek mercy for his friend, but does not do so, is called a sessions. For example, he can loan or give to his friend needed items 534 chapter 7:2. or money. He may consider giving charity, bearing in mind that 535 As we find mentioned in Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 335:8. in the merit of this act, the friend should become alleviated from 536 Shemiras HaLashon, Shaar HaZechirah 11. 537 Cf. Taanis 22a, the episode of the two clowns. 533 Shabbos 151b. See also Mishlei 18:16 with the associated commentaries. 538 Brachos 12b. 196 This Too Is For The Best sinner… If a Torah scholar is in distress, all the more so is it in- cumbent upon one to pray on his behalf...”539 It is important to note, that when one prays for someone else, this causes his own personal supplications to be accepted, as we find mentioned in Sefer Chassidim.540 In sefer Bris Olam, it is written:541 “If a person prays for others in their time of difficulty, then when he him- self encounters difficulty, the ministering angels will be sure to pray for his deliverance.” To summarize, there are myriad ways one can help his fellow man in distress, some easier than others. The main thing is to somehow help. When one accustoms himself to this, apart from having inter- nalized another teaching and mitzvah of the Torah, he also wins for -9- himself a host of advocates, promoting his best interests in this world and in the next. To Summarize
1. What are Yissurim? Any pain or suffering, whether mental or physical, including even a minor inconvenience. 2. Why does Hashem send Yissurim? There are seven reasons why a person might have yissurim:
Out of Love Out of love for a tzaddik, Hashem sends him yissurim which will greatly enhance his life in the World to Come. His suffering atones for the generation, which on the one hand allows the 539 The reason why extra emphasis is placed on praying for a Torah scholar is found explained people more time to better their ways and avert in Yaaros Devash (Part 1, Drush 1, on the blessing of Refa’einu): “We ought to pray for the Torah scholars who weaken themselves by learning Torah. Before the sin of the Golden yissurim, while on the other hand grants the Calf, they were strong, but afterwards this strength was taken from them, and for this tzaddik a portion of all of the mitzvos which would reason they are weak… It is incumbent upon us to pray for their well-being and their for- titude, for are they not the keepers of the Torah who possess the true transmission of the not have happened if not for his suffering. This Oral Torah? Indeed, our souls are bound up with theirs, and if there were no Torah schol- type of yissurim is reserved only for tzaddikim. ars, Heaven forbid, than we would have no right to exist.” 540 §553 He also compares the one who ignores the yissurim of his fellow man, to an animal who likewise shows no concern for the plight of its brethren. 541 On Sefer Chassidim §218, cited by Kaf HaChaim §578:4. 198 This Too Is For The Best To Summarize 199
As a Test Hashem tests tzaddikim to increase their reward, As Liability The Jewish People are connected to each other as their latent potential was translated into action. for Others spiritually, and therefore are liable for each other. When passed successfully, a test also advertises to As a consequence, one can receive yissurim as a others the greatness of the tzaddik, while providing result of someone else’s sin. This only happens if a living example to be learned from. This type of the nature of the sin was severe and it is a time of yissurim is reserved only for tzaddikim. Divine Wrath (which is rare). One can also stand to be punished for the sin of someone else if he was Divine If a person or city are utterly infused with evil, in a position to successfully stop the misdeed but Vengeance yissurim are sent to eradicate the evil from the failed to do so. He is given partial blame since he world. The town of Sodom serves as a classic could have prevented the sin. example. A typical person should never assume his yissurim are from this category, Heaven forbid. To Prepare In order to elevate the world to the level necessary for the for Mashiach, a yissurim process of epic proportion To Inspire A person can suffer or witness the suffering of Messianic is required, which takes on the pattern of Repentance others in order to help him see the truth of the Era childbirth. world and thus inspire him to repent his ways. A degree of introspection is therefore required with Suffering If a person conducts himself without responsibility each experience of yissurim. through (for example, he overeats, smokes, speaks badly of Negligence others, holds company with bad friends etc.) and As The common denominator behind all yissurim is as a result suffers, this will not serve as any type of Atonement they serve to atone for sin — even intentional sins. atonement, but rather quite to the contrary. He will The atonement is conditional that the recipient be taken to task for why he was not more careful accepts his yissurim, and does not reject them by with himself. Most of a person’s travails fall into complaining or casting suspicion on Divine Justice. this category. Furthermore, the transgression which caused the yissurim, can be ascertained by the nature 3. Accepting Yissurim. One who accepts his yissurim with a of the yissurim themselves, facilitating complete whole heart fulfills the Torah precept of loving God. One who repentance and strengthening one’s faith in Divine is happy over his yissurim is most praiseworthy. His happiness Providence. is not over the actual yissurim, but rather over the positive ben- efits which result from them. Every Jew has the innate ability to recognize the Divine Justice in his yissurim. The one who as- cribes his suffering to coincidence causes his situation only to deteriorate. The one who doubts the Divine Justice behind his yissurim has nullified the atoning element of his pain, and has 200 This Too Is For The Best To Summarize 201
instead committed a grave offense which in turn will need fur- yy One never knows for sure that what happened was in fact bad. ther atonement. As the outcomes of the yissurim are still unknown, judgment 4. Yissurim are Precious. Some people think that suffering re- must be reserved. flects that Hashem is angry at them or “does not like them.” yy People of much greater stature have suffered far worse yissurim. The truth is precisely the opposite: Yissurim are a reflection of One should be glad he was spared. Divine Love. The degree of love being expressed corresponds yy The world abounds with yissurim. Praiseworthy is the one who to the severity of the yissurim. The person who recognizes does not delude himself into thinking that life is supposed to that his yissurim are Heaven-sent and accepts them with a full be easy. He is not fazed at a setback and sets a true example for heart, merits: others to follow. yy Yissurim are custom-tailored remedies, sent to a person by the yy To be protected from future suffering. instruction of God. The medicine is guaranteed to work and yy The dissipation of his present troubles. does not cost anything. yy An ensuing period of grace, where his prayers will be readily yy No suffering lasts ‘forever.’ There is a predetermined time limit accepted. for all yissurim. By means of repentance, prayer and charity one yy Long life and children. can sometimes hasten their departure. yy To have a more comprehensive grasp of Torah. yy To be rendered fitting to enter the delight of the World to Come. 6. Rejoicing over Yissurim. By keeping the following practical yy In the future to become an authentic prophet and merit the pieces of advice in mind, it becomes easier for a person to be enormous privilege to learn Torah directly from Hashem. happy with his yissurim. yy Elevation both in this world and the next. yy Yissurim are atonement. They reflect awesome Divine Mercy, as yy An extra measure of closeness with Hashem. they can accomplish more for a person than had he brought sac- 5. Accepting Yissurim Graciously. By keeping the following rifices. By means of yissurim, a person gains atonement even for practical pieces of advice in mind, it becomes easier to accept sins committed intentionally. A little bit of yissurim go a long yissurim with a whole heart. way in exempting a person from much more serious punish- yy The loss of something is only a superficial loss, as one’s true es- ments, in this world and the next. Yissurim are sent in ‘install- sence has not been affected. ments,’ allowing a person to pay his dues in an easier way. yy A loss of materiality is of no real consequence when measured yy Accepting yissurim is a form of serving God. There can no greater against the eternity of the afterlife. privilege and honor in the world than serving the Almighty God. yy One does not mourn the loss of something attained without his yy Remember the enormous benefits gained by having the right at- own might. Hashem gives us everything. titude in accepting yissurim, as mentioned above. yy Everything one has is only given as a loan, conditional to be re- yy Every time someone is confronted with yissurim, he should turned at the ‘request’ of the owner. It is only common cour- realize that there is a guaranteed outcome for the best. The tesy to express humble gratitude to the owner when returning blessing in disguise far outweighs the hardship. This positive ‘the loan.’ outcome will be revealed to all in the Next World, but the per- 202 This Too Is For The Best To Summarize 203
son who lives with this concept, will merit recognizing the yy Seeking peace. Even a partial success is a whole success. Seeking blessing even in this world. peace applies just as much to settling a dispute between oneself 7. Substitutes for Yissurim. It is possible for a person to gain and someone else, as it does to settling two warring parties. atonement through performing the mitzvos. If done correctly, yy Relinquishing hard feelings. When one ignores a slight done to he can avoid the necessity to have yissurim. There are certain him, measure for measure Hashem will ignore the sins he com- mitzvos noted for their atoning qualities. mitted. His reward is exceedingly great. yy Attending discourses on ethics. The words of a Rabbi can enter yy Meticulous observance of Shabbos. Even if the person was an a person’s soul and kindle new inspiration. One can merit great idol worshipper, he will be forgiven in the merit of Shabbos. atonement through this. yy Giving charity. Included in this is to influence others to give, or yy Judging favorably. The way a person judges others is how he to give words of hope and encouragement to a needy one. In the himself will be judged in Heaven. To see a person’s actions in a merit of charity given anonymously, one is saved from purga- negative light, yet to conclude that he at least had good inten- tory, death and other illnesses. Even in the thick of yissurim, tions, is also included in this mitzvah. charity can redeem a person. yy Answering Kaddish with all one’s strength. When one responds yy Acts of kindness. This is even greater than giving charity. “Yhei Shmei Rabbah” with all of his concentration and in a loud yy Learning Torah is an all-encompassing healing. In the merit of voice, he can merit having his sins forgiven and evil decrees nul- learning Torah one can have all of his sins forgiven. Yissurim run lified. away from the person who learns Torah. yy Modesty. In the merit of being modest beyond the letter of the yy Learning Torah and acts of kindness. Combining selfless acts of law, a woman can gain atonement for herself and her entire loving-kindness with in-depth Torah learning causes the great- household. est atonement possible. For this, one merits to be saved even yy Crying over the death of a good person. Since a person accords from the birth pangs of the Messianic Era. great honor to the deceased by such conduct, he is rewarded yy Repenting for transgressions and faulty character traits. The de- with atonement. His tears are counted in Heaven, and even gree of atonement is commensurate to the degree of regret. No harsh decrees issued against him are annulled. sin is beyond repentance. Even a man who was wicked all of his yy Mitzvos performed with excellence. Any mitzvah performed days can still successfully repent. with perfection has the quality to bring great atonement. Even yy Prayer. Every prayer is heard and brings some advantage. a decree of seventy years is nullified in the merit of such a mitz- Prayers are greater than sacrificial offerings. Tearful prayer vah. According to the effort invested, will be one’s reward. can quash an evil decree. Prayers can work even in a situation yy Using the same limbs for mitzvos. When one performs a mitzvah which seems hopeless. A person’s chief means of success lies with the same limb that was used for a sin, it accomplishes a in prayer. great rectification.F or example, if one spoke words of slander yy Reciting the verses pertaining to the sacrifices. Repentance must or lies, he should now speak words of Torah. precede the recital, which takes place only by day. One must un- yy There is no power except for Hashem. One who meditates on this derstand what he is saying. truth merits to be saved from all negative forces. Ain od milvado. 204 This Too Is For The Best To Summarize 205
yy There is always a possibility for atonement. Even when a person of encouragement. The one who takes the time to help his finds himself in a situation where he is unable to do something, friend merits much Divine Mercy and brings great satisfac- he still has a very powerful tool at his disposal: He may accept tion to Hashem. upon himself to do a good deed, and he is immediately credited May all of us merit to be counted amongst the tzaddikim as if he had already done it. and together rejoice in the rebuilding of Yerushalayim and the yy The best advice. Only a person who sins needs atonement. revelation of Hashem’s majesty, soon in our days. Amen. Praiseworthy is the one who is diligent in Torah and gives par- ticular emphasis to Jewish Law. With this, he knows how to uphold the law and stay clear from sin. Doing so, he precludes any necessity for yissurim, while at the same time secures for בריך רחמנא דסייען .himself a generous portion in the World to Come
8. Approaching a Friend in Suffering. One has a mitzvah to help a friend who is suffering. Although yissurim are indeed beneficial, nonetheless, since it is possible to gain atone- ment in different and better ways (e.g. through mitzvos) it is incumbent for one to endeavor to relieve his friend from suffering. Although yissurim come as atonement for sin, this does not render the person a ‘rasha.’ It is very likely that he already has repented, or that his sin was unintentional. One is not allowed to rebuke his friend at a time of suffering. This is considered a form of verbal oppression. When yissurim of a life-threatening nature visit a communi- ty, all members of the community are obligated to try and help (i.e. through prayer or charity). This applies even to members of the community that are not personally affected. A person who ignores the suffering of his community at their time of need is guilty of a grave transgression. Just as there is an obligation to share in the plight of the community, so too, there is an obligation to share the plight of a friend or relative. Concerning other individuals with yis- surim, there is a great mitzvah to help them too. Help can be offered by means of one’s possessions, physical help or words Financial Problems 207
Poverty is a fact. Neediness shows itself to every family at least once in every three generations.543 Therefore, this subject carries with it much practical relevance and is deserving of special attention. Our Sages teach much on the topic, and have shone light on the innate dangers of being poor, as well as poverty’s strong points.
1. The Benefits of Impoverishment
He merits complete atonement Our Sages say:544 Appendix 1 Eliyahu said to Bar Hei Hei [some say to Rebbi Eliezer]: What is written,545 “Behold, I have burned out your impurities but not with silver; I have chosen you through the furnace of poverty.” Financial Problems This teaches that Hashem considered Poverty is every good measure He could give exceedingly difficult to the Jewish People and found only but carries with it he society we live in today is blessed with great prosperity, destitution [as being worthy]. Shmuel great atonement yet there are still many poor people. However, today’s poor said [others say it was Rav Yosef]: This man is not necessarily a beggar on the street. He may own a is what people say, “Poorness is to the home and have a job and family. Nonetheless, he may be hav- Jewish People, as a red rod is to a white horse.” ing credit problems. He cannot make the payments on the mortgage, or There is much to be understood here. Why is poverty the chosen he has reached the limits on his credit card and needs to take yet another mode of yissurim? Why do the Sages compare impoverishment to a loan. These are people who are sinking into debt. These people are consid- “red rod for a white horse?” ered “poor” and make a fitting address for tzedakah. Unfortunately, today, The Maharsha explains:546 “The white horse is a good omen when there are many such poor people. Being Financial problems it appears in a dream… it signifies the cleansing of sin. It means the poor constitutes one of the most common are quite common forms of yissurim. Indeed, Rebbi Elazar 543 See Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 247:3 where we find this principle codified in Jewish Law. today HaKappar said:542 “A person should always There is, however, a way to prevent this from happening. The Aruch HaShulchan (Yoreh Deah 247:5) writes: “I have a tradition that by soliciting charity from others to give to plead for mercy regarding falling into financial destitution, for if he him- worthy causes saves a person’s progeny from having to beg for their livelihood.” This can be self does not land in financial problems, his son will, and if his son does understood in the following way. Since, when a person collects charity he suffers in much not, then his grandson will...” The Gemara continues: “The academy of the same way that a beggar does (he gets turned away etc.) therefore, his collecting is con- sidered in the place of the poverty which was supposed to visit the family. Rebbi Yishmael teaches: financial destitution is an ongoing cycle.” 544 Chagigah 9b. 545 Yeshayah 48:10. 542 Shabbos 151b. 546 Ibid. 208 This Too Is For The Best Financial Problems 209 same here. Even though financial problems are hard for them [the Such a “lawyer” cannot be bought with money, or even with mitzvos, Jewish People], and are thus likened to a ‘red rod,’ still, poorness but only with financial problems. The defendant can feel at ease dur- cleanses them, and thus benefit them like a white steed.” That is, the ing the most severe prosecutions, as he has the best lawyer. “furnace of poverty” purifies the entire person in a way that he re- mains perfectly white, free of any blemish, similar to the smelter’s He merits a double portion red furnace that heats the metal until the impure elements become The Midrash comments,553 “If the pauper passes his test and does separated, leaving the metal clean and pure. not rebel, he receives double in the future time, as it is written,554 ‘For You shall grant salvation to the lowly one.’ From whom do you learn He is saved from Gehinom this? From Iyov, who was tortured in this world, and Hashem repaid The Gemara547 says that a poor person is spared from Gehinom. him twofold, as it is written,555 ‘And Hashem multiplied all that Iyov had Rashi548 explains that since he was poor, this atoned for his sins, ren- by two.’” dering Gehinom unnecessary. Not only is he spared the judgment of Gehinom, there is more. The Gemara says:549 “Three will not see the He acquires true humility face of Gehinom: those who suffer the pangs of financial problems, TheAlshich 556 writes that a natural re- Successfully going disease of the digestive tract or suffer from their creditors.” Note that sult of being poor is true humility. This through poverty the Sages do not say, “Three are spared Gehinom,” as they say in other is the best of all the positive attributes.557 brings much blessing places, but rather, “Three will not see the face of Gehinom.” The Vilna Great honor is in store for the humble in its wake Gaon explains this on a verse in Mishlei:550 “The poor will not hear re- person, as the Torah guarantees,558 “Be- buke,” — meaning, even the tzaddikim need to pass through Gehinom, fore honor is humility.” only that their mitzvos protect them so that the fire of Gehinom has no In summary, although poverty is a great test, still, one suffering power over them. But he who has suffered the pangs of destitution financially gains many advantages. He merits a complete atonement, will not hear rebuke at all, that is to say, he will not even pass through is saved from Gehinom and even bypasses Gehinom and goes straight Gehinom. to Gan Eden. In the Next World Hashem will be his personal lawyer, his portion doubles and he acquires the crown jewel of fine attributes, He acquires the ultimate advocate namely — humility. Furthermore, he receives all the benefits given in In Tehillim it states:551 “For He (God) will stand to the right of the the merit of accepting his yissurim with a whole heart, as are outlined pauper, and save him from His Judgment.” The Chafetz Chaim552 once in Chapters 4 and 6. commented that from here it is evident that Hashem Himself will de- In spite of these great qualities, there is also great risk involved fend a person who endured the pain of financial problems in his life. with poverty.
547 Yevamos 102b. 553 Shemos Rabbah §31. 548 Dibbor hamaschil ‘Vhoksiv.’ 554 Ibid 18. 549 Eruvin 41b. 555 Iyov 42. 550 13:8; the Maharsha to Eruvin ibid also explains this way. 556 On Mishlei 18:12. 551 109:31. 557 See Iggeres HaRamban. 552 Shem Olam, Conclusion. 558 Mishlei 18:12. 210 This Too Is For The Best Financial Problems 211
2. The Challenges of Destitution Poverty causes a person to act against his own principles and those of the Torah TheMidrash Tanchuma says,559 “There is no greater evil than finan- Our Sages say,564 “Three things cause a person to transgress his cial problems.” The Sages write:560 own principles. They are: idolatry, the evil spirit and the strains of There is no measure more difficult than financial prob- impoverishment.” The Tur and the Shulchan Aruch also make mention lems, for all who suffer the pangs of poverty, it is as if of this.565 How does poverty lead a person astray? Rabbeinu Yona all the suffering of the world clings to him, and it is as writes:566 if all the curses in Chumash Devarim have befallen him. Idleness brings to financial problems, and this leads to Our Rabbis taught that if all the suffering of the world many sins and much evil, for out of financial problems, would be gathered together on one side [of a scale] and he comes to desire gifts, and thus he will not live. He will financial problems on the other side, financial problems flatter people even if they are wicked, so they will give would outweigh them all.” him gifts, and when the gift mon- ThePele Yoetz writes,561 “Poverty is a great test to a person; its evil ey runs out, he will steal… Once a The stress and is very great, as our Sages have said, that having no money is the most person comes to these attributes, strains of poverty difficult of all yissurim.” nothing can stop him, and he will can dangerously We see that the Sages understood poverty to be the greatest neither rest nor be silent until he challenge one’s travail a person can undergo. It is a situation which most definitely has transgressed all of the mitzvos emunah must be avoided. Indeed, we find in the written in the Torah, for one sin Chazal: Nothing Gemara562 that the Rabbis enacted a de- leads to another. could be worse than cree prohibiting one from giving more poverty than a fifth of his earnings to charity, Poverty leads a person to complain against Hashem lest he become impoverished.563 Shlomo HaMelech writes in Mishlei:567 “Poverty and wealth do What remains to be clarified is, why is it is so bad to be im- not give me… lest I languish, steal, and swear falsely with the poverished? Obviously, it is very difficult, but to say that there is Name of my God.” The Vilna Gaon568 explains that he prayed never no greater evil? It seems, at first glance, to be exaggerated. to become impoverished, lest he make the grave mistake of com- plaining against the ways of Hashem for having decreed upon him to be poorer than others.
559 Mishpatim §15. 560 Shemos Rabbah 31:12. 564 Eruvin 41b. 561 Erech “Aniyus.” 565 Orach Chaim 156. 562 Kesuvos 50a. 566 Avos 2:2. 563 There are exceptions to this, for example if a person is extremely rich, or is giving for the sake 567 30:8-9. of atonement. See Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 249:1 with the associated commentaries. 568 Ibid. 212 This Too Is For The Best Financial Problems 213
Poverty is disgraceful grace, his family and friends are embarrassed of their relationship and We find in Mishlei:569 “The pauper pleads, and the rich man answers inwardly wish he would just go away. He is bereft of friendship. His with arrogance.” Rabbeinu Yona writes:570 “Financial problems bring on world could hardly be worse. With this we can readily understand the disgrace. They cause him to seek mercy and cast himself before others above quoted Midrash, “There is no greater evil than financial prob- and to flatter them. The fear of others and ingratiation are lowly -at lems.” tributes. One who is dependent on others is disgraceful.” In Conclusion People flee from the company of a pauper After having reviewed the pros and cons of poverty, a clear picture We find stated in Torah:571 “The brother of a pauper hates him; even emerges. Although there is much benefit to be derived from impover- his friends distance themselves from him.” Rabbeinu Yona explains:572 ishment, it should nonetheless be avoided. Just as a person would run to save his very life, so too, a person should strive to relieve himself The verse comes to teach us of the harm that comes from from financial destitution. May Hashem bless us all with all that we people who are dependent on others. For his brother need, forever.573 hates him once he realizes the embarrassment he endures by being his relative. If his own brothers hate him, all the more so will his friends and acquaintances. They say in their hearts that only embarrassment and disgrace will come from his companionship.
It would follow, that if people who had been good friends until now come to abhor his friendship, then making new friends will prove all the more so an enormous challenge. Thus, the impoverished one is bereft of family and friends. In summary, poverty is one of the worst fates a person can pos- sibly suffer. The impoverished person is in danger of transgressing his own ideals and the Torah’s ideals, to the Poor people tend to point that he discards all precepts of the feel — and often are Torah. He is prone to complain of Hash- — quite alone em’s ways, while he brings great disgrace 573 After reading this appendix, one might be prone to think that it would be a good thing upon himself as a natural result of the mannerisms that come as part to strive to get rich to remain far away from being poor. Although, in general, it is highly and parcel of being an impoverished person. As a result of his dis- advisable to remain at a safe distance from any danger, (physical or spiritual), nonetheless, in reference to poverty, the optimum situation is to have whatever you need (not want) with comfort (birevach). The reason for this is, being rich also has its downside. Just like 569 18:23. there is a side benefit that comes with being poor, and that is humility. So too, there is a 570 Ibid. side benefit that comes with being rich, and that is haughtiness. Haughtiness is the worst 571 Mishlei 19:7. possible attribute a person can have, as the Shaarei Kedushah writes. See more in Mishlei 572 Ibid. 18:12 with the commentary of the Alshich, and Iggeres HaRamban. The Death of a Child 215
on account of the parents who brought him into this world. The Gemara in Sotah states:574
It is taught: Amram was the leader of the generation. When Pharaoh decreed that all the male children be cast into the Nile, Amram said, “Our efforts are useless.” He arose and separated from his wife. When the people discovered this, they too arose and separated from their wives. Amram’s daughter [Miriam] said to him, “Father, your decree is worse than Pharaoh’s. Pharaoh’s decree was against the males, but you decreed against the males and the females. Appendix 2 Pharaoh’s decree takes away their life in this world, but your decree takes away their life in this world and in the Next World. Pharaoh is wicked. His decree is not guaran- The Death of a Child teed to stand. But you are righteous. Your decree is guaran- teed to stand, as it is written,575 ‘You shall utter a decree and it will stand for you.’” Amram arose he pain a parent feels over the demise of a child is un- By living in this and reunited with his wife. Every- speakable. The private torture, the thoughts of what world, a child merits one arose and reunited with their could have been and the the World to Come wives. shattered dreams are just a Losing a child is a What did Miriam mean when she said, “Pharaoh’s decree takes few of a parent’s turbulent emotions. It wound that can never away their life in this world, but your decree takes away their life in this is a tragedy that cannot be easily over- heal world and in the Next World”? How could Amram’s decree take away come. Still, we are meant to go on. Here their life in the Next World? Rashi explains: Pharaoh’s decree only takes are a few lessons to ease the burden. A person dealing with a situation away their life in this world. They are born, then they die and proceed to like this should also review the good things which result from yis- life in the Next World. But you decreed against life in both worlds, since surim, as mentioned above in Chapters 4 and 6. they will not be born, they cannot come to the Next World. 1. The Child Lives On One can only merit life in the Next World if he first travels through this world. Thus, a parent who brings a child to this world, al- A parent who has lost a child is likely to think that it is as beit a short time, has nonetheless facilitated the child to live eternally though the child never existed. This is not so. No matter the age in the Next World. We find in the Gemara576 that even a miscarriage of the child, once he has been brought to the world, he merits to have a share in the World to Come. His tenure in this world was 574 12a. short lived, but in the Next World he lives on. He merits this life 575 Iyov 22:28. 576 Kesuvos 111a. 216 This Too Is For The Best The Death of a Child 217 has a portion in the World to Come. Therefore, very much was accom- Rebbi Shimon ben Yochai said that if a man’s son should die, he plished by having this child. The parents have accorded their child the should not complain, for the son has made him desirable to Hashem. greatest gift possible. The loss of a child is a pain that no words can describe. By contemplat- It is important to note, that at the time of the resurrection of the ing the above, the pain is somewhat mitigated. dead, the child will once again live in this world as the parents’ child.577 May we all merit hearing good tidings, and the shofar blasts her- alding the final redemption with the rebuilding of Yerushalayim and 2. An atonement for the parents the coming of Mashiach, speedily in our days. Amen. Yissurim are atonement, and the greatness of the pain corresponds to the atonement. At the loss of a child, a parent becomes purified and redeemed from other untold suffering. In the Sefer Chassidim we find:578
The wise one says, there is one offspring, whether a boy or a girl, that redeems his father and mother from death or troubles, as it is written,579 “Yaakov, who redeemed Avra- ham.” Sometimes, suffering has been decreed on a per- son’s father or mother, but with the death of the child, the father and mother mourn, and the mourning redeems them from this fate. This is what is meant by, “In every sadness, there is advantage.”580
3. Favor has been restored in the eyes of Hashem The Midrash says,581 “Rebbi Elazar ben Yaakov said: A person must give appreciation to Hashem when suffering befalls him. Why? Because suffering draws a person close to God, as it is written,582 ‘For the one Hashem loves, He rebukes, and as a father to a son He will appease him.’”
577 Shomer Emunim (HaKadmon) Vikuach Sheini §81. 578 §501. 579 Yeshayah 29:22. 580 How can one ascertain if a child has died to atone for sins the child himself committed in a different life or on account of the parents sins? In Sefer Shomer Emunim Hakadmon (Vikuach Sheini, 81) it is written that one knows if children die of their own sins if they die between the ages of thirteen and twenty. Children under the age of thirteen die on account of their parents sins. 581 Tanchuma, Ki Seitzei §2. 582 Mishlei 3:12. About Mosaica Press
Mosaica Press is an independent publisher of Jewish books. About the Author Our authors include some of the most profound, interesting, and entertaining thinkers and writers in the Jewish community today. There is a great demand for high-quality Jewish works dealing with issues of the day – and Mosaica Press is helping fill that need. Our Originally from Toronto, Rabbi Yerachmiel Moskoff and his fam- books are available around the world. We are always open to new ily now live in Eretz Yisroel. He studied under Rabbi Chaim Pass, authors, projects and manuscripts. Submit your manuscript or shlita, and subsequently under HaRav Moshe Mordechai Karp, shlita, propose your idea at [email protected]. from whom he received his Smicha. Rabbi Moskoff founded and di- rects ‘Kollel Shas’ — dedicated to learning Talmud Bavli together with We will be happy to hear from you. the Yerushalmi, as well as giving shiurim in Mishlei and other topics to varied audiences.