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Winter 2019 Bisexuality & Disability Bi Women Quarterly Vol. 37 No. 1 A publication of the Boston Bisexual Women’s Network, for women everywhere Pap Smears & Paint Parties: A Journey Toward Embracing My Bisexuality By Sara Krahel This year I finally came out to my best friend as bisexual. But first, I have to tell you about my first pap smear. You see, I have cerebral palsy and my legs often spasm when I get uncomfortable or nervous. I was certainly nervous going into the appointment because I knew there would be issues with those infamous stirrups. It was the day that changed my life. Let me set the scene: it is the day of the fated pap smear. I had hooked my arms around one leg in a death grip, a nurse was holding the other, as the gynecologist was performing the procedure as fast as she could. In this circumstance it was not just my legs that seized up, it was my entire lower body, including my vagina. I was visibly sweating and red in the face, trying to hold onto my twitching right leg. The doctor noticed me struggling and told me to “relax and breathe.” I rolled my eyes, knowing that it wouldn’t magically make my entire body stop spazzing, but I took a deep breath to be a good sport. It did not help with the spasms. Although the doctor and nurse were medical professionals, they didn’t get that I couldn’t relax in this compromising position. Can anyone truly relax with strangers holding on to their legs and looking at their genitals? No. After years of invasive medical procedures, I have a fairly high pain tolerance, but metal in my vagina while having a spasm was one of the most painful things I’ve ever experienced. Sara, continues on page 15 Bisexuality & Autism By Martine Mussies (Cyborg Mermaid) seem like a lot to ask, and when you also start talking about a One of my best friends is a true activist and his bathroom is second one, it becomes very complicated very quickly and you full of posters about socialism, environmental issues, and an- have to unravel everything to ensure that the prejudices can be imal rights. On a printed sheet just above his sink, you’ll find nuanced. A beautiful example of such an interpersonal process a cartoon featuring Bob, the stripey blue triangle who should can be found in “Bisexual women and their relationship(s),” a be proud—“Yay me!” With this brilliant little infographic, master’s thesis by Roos Reijbroek (Utrecht University, 2012). PhD researcher Miriam Dobson explains intersectionality in a In it, Roos describes how one of her respondents reacted to the heartwarming way. As intersections between forms or systems fact that Roos has both a man and a woman as partners. “[S] of oppression, domination, or discrimination are happening all he was disappointed and frustrated. [She talked about how I around us, this affects “our group”—bisexual women—as well. embody the prejudice she often has to counter; that a bisexual Therefore, for this issue of BWQ, I would like to put myself would have the need to be with both a man and a woman and in the shoes of Bob (if he had any…) and tell you about the not being able to be monogamous.” Thus, for the respondent, connections between bisexuality and autism. the intersectionality between bisexuality and non-monogamy was a problematic feeling that for her own emancipation she This is the first time I am writing about two of the “invisible” even needed to defend herself against the stigmas of the other aspects of my identity. Why did I not open up earlier? While identity. Stripey triangle Roos made things difficult for her, and I agree with Bob that oppressions are interlinked and cannot I do not wish to make things difficult for autistic women who be solved alone, I also have to admit that speaking up for more do not identify as bisexual and vice versa. At the same time, I than one can be difficult and can cause even more problems. If you request attention for one type of oppression, it can already Martine, continues on page 16 Bi Women Quarterly • www.biwomenboston.org Winter 2019 • Vol. 37 No. 1 • page 1 Editor’s Note Upcoming in Editor The theme of this issue is bisexuality and disabili- Bi Women Quarterly Robyn Ochs ty. But what, exactly, is disability? As the contrib- utors to this issue beautifully articulate, definitions Call for submissions of disability depend, in many cases, upon others’ Assistant Editor Spring 2019 issue: reactions, and social definitions of what constitutes Katelynn Bishop “ability.” Firsts What “firsts” have been significant to The contributors to this issue share their experi- Calendar Editor you? A first awareness, first kiss, first ences with disabilities that are visible and invisible, Charlotte Alger relationship, first sexual experience? chronic and intermittent, mental and physical. They A first with someone of a particular reflect on the intersections of bisexuality and dis- gender? A first coming out? Tell us a Proofreaders ability, along with other embodied experiences re- Andrea Miotto story about a “first” time, or about the lated to size, illness, and intersexuality. The weight Casey Lawrence “firsts” you hope to have. DUE BY of other people’s assumptions, and the importance Robyn Walters February 1. of being able to label our identities and experiences Theresa Tyree on our own terms, are powerful themes that resonate Tomi Fatunde Call for submissions throughout this issue. Summer 2019 issue: We feature essays by Andrea Miotto, Elizabeth Non-binary x2 (or more) Mechem, jeanette gandionco lazam, Julie Mor- HONOR ROLL genlender, Martine Mussies, Robyn Ochs, Sara Calling all readers with multiple non-bi- Krahel, and Theresa Tyree, visual art by Why Not nary identities—including bi+ folks with Thanks for Both Co & Jo-Anne Carlson, and poetry by Jane non-binary gender identities, multiracial volunteering! Barnes, Mari, Karen Schnurstein, Nina Dixon, and identities, etc. How do your identities Stephanie Enyeart. Bri Kerschner reviews the book inform each other? How do you navigate Charlotte Alger Claiming the B in LGBT: Illuminating the Bisexual others’ reactions? What labels do you use? Gail Zacharias Narrative, and Bobbi Ruggiero offers a review of the Do you see yourself represented in bi+ Jordan Pearson film Blindsided. Alexandra Wang interviews bi and communities? Julie Morgenlender intersexuality activist Gigi Raven Wilbur, and our Submission guidelines are online at Linda B World column features the urgent words of Yossra biwomenboston.org. Lizi Brown Hamouda, a brave bi activist in Egypt. Send your submissions and suggestions for future topics to We hope this issue will leave you with a better un- [email protected]. derstanding of the diversity of experiences of bi+ women with disabilities, and also the ability we have Note: If you do not want your full name All articles and art as a community to make the world more just. published, or wish to use a pseudonym, appearing in the Bi just let us know. ~Katelynn, Assistant Editor Women Quarterly are copyrighted by the authors and artists. BBWN is an all-volunteer organization. Another fan Want to host one of our monthly Boston-area women: reads BWQ. Send brunches, be the woman who coordinates Join our our Goo- a picture of your- the brunches, or help out with our website gle group: https:// self reading BWQ (we use WordPress)? Or, if you’re a groups.google.com/ to biwomenedi- student, consider an internship. If you are forum/#!forum/bi- interested in helping out, please contact womenboston [email protected]. Be creative! Robyn ([email protected]). The Boston Bisexual Women’s Network is a feminist, not-for-profit collective organization whose purpose is to bring women together for support and validation. We strive to create a safe environment in which women of all sexual self-identities; class backgrounds; racial, ethnic, and religious groups; ages; abilities and disabilities are welcome. Through the vehicles of discussion, support, education, outreach, political action, and social groups related to bisexuality, we are committed to the goals of full acceptance as bisexuals within the gay and lesbian community, and to full acceptance of bisexuality and the liberation of all gay and transgender people within the larger society. Bi Women Quarterly • P.O. Box 301727, Jamaica Plain MA 02130 Winter 2019 • Vol. 37 No. 1 • page 2 Around the World: Egypt And a Few Years Later, I’m Still Meaningfully Alive By Yossra Hamouda prosecuted as well. Egypt imprisoned around 40,000 political A few years ago when I first wrote to you, I was young. I prisoners and 300 homosexuals in just a few years and in a was experiencing, for the first time, the meaning of freedom famous case imprisoned a group of youths for holding a and self-love. I wrote to you just three months after my own rainbow flag in a concert. They criminalized rainbow flags! coming out. If you remember, I am someone who was brought I was lucky enough not to go to prison although I was once close up in a religious, conservative society. I was once someone who to it. All my friends from the LGBT community tried to leave used to hate herself, consider herself a sinner and a potential Egypt; some succeeded, and some didn’t. But one important threat to every woman just for having sexual attraction towards incident happened that affected me deeply. An article was women. I am someone who once sentenced herself to daily published in my university’s student magazine about a diary severe beatings to chain what she considered her inner monster.