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“Is It Me? Am I Losing My Mind?” Living with Intimate Male Partners

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“Is It Me? Am I Losing My Mind?” Living with Intimate Male Partners “Is It Me? Am I Losing My Mind?” Living with Intimate Male Partners Presenting With Subjective Narcissistic Behaviours and Attitudes by Sherry Lynn Saunders Lane A Thesis submitted to the Faculty of Graduate Studies of The University of Manitoba in partial fulfilment of the requirements of the degree of MASTER OF EDUCATION Department of Educational Administration, Foundations and Psychology University of Manitoba Winnipeg Copyright © 2020 Sherry Lynn Saunders Lane Abstract Mainstream culture and the media are increasingly using the terminology 'narcissism' as socio- cultural parlance to describe selfish and self-centered behaviors and attitudes in social relationships. The purpose of this phenomenological research study is to describe the lived experience of women who are in intimate relationships with male partners whom they characterize as having narcissistic behaviors and attitudes. The research focus is motivated by client-centered therapeutic orientations that encourage counselors to 'be present with' clients, even when the experiences lack objective validation. Unstructured interviews were used to collect data from three adult females. The data was analyzed using the Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis approach. The participants' stories indicated that their relationships have identifiable phases and characteristics. The participants experienced diminished well-being, compromised self-differentiation, and pervasive loss. Pervasive loss served as a wake-up call and motivated the activation of participants’ residual sense of self to leave the relationships. In conclusion, while the terminology used to describe the intimate male partners may lack validation, the women perceive that their experiences negatively affected their lives. The women also recognized and regretted their lack of capability to negotiate dignified positioning in their intimate relationships. Acknowledgments Thank you to the participants who courageously shared their stories with me and the world. Thank you to my thesis advisor, Dr. Grace Ukasoanya, your interest, expertise, and knowledge were invaluable to this project. The countless hours we spent discussing and sorting through ideas, topics, and understandings were both extremely valuable and enjoyable. I am truly appreciative of the time, energy and support you devoted to this work. A sincere thanks is extended to my gracious committee members, Dr. Nadine Bartlett and Dr. Jennifer Watt for your valued time, input, patience, and suggestions. Thank you to my friends and family, for your ears, time, and support. Thank you to my two amazing daughters, Marie and Teeah, for listening to the concepts and understandings as I was unravelling them. Your awareness, wisdom, and input are highly valued. I love both of you to hills and back. To my favorite son, thank you for being a great person, father, and partner. You are setting an amazing example for my grandson. I love you to the hills and back, too. Thank you to my incredible daughter-in-law, Natalie, for your compassionate understanding. HUGS and love forever. My grandsons, Kory and L, thank you for becoming the wonderful young men the world so greatly needs. Nana is very proud of you. We are lovingly waiting for you baby, Cassius Duane. Thank you for choosing our family. Finally, a heartfelt thank you to my mom, Marie Saunders, who gave me the foundation and love I needed to push myself past my comfort zones. Although not here with us now, you continually live in our hearts. You were only here for a very short time, but your positive influences will live on forever. We all greatly love and miss you along with your infinite support, wisdom, and affections. XOXO Table of Contents Chapter One: Introduction ………………………………………………………….……………1 Study Purpose ……………………………………………………………………………3 Research Question …………….…………….…….……………………………………. 3 Rationale ……………………………………………………………….…..….……..…. 3 Delimitations of the Study……………………………………………………..…………6 Significance of the Study ………………………………………………………………...7 Positionality of the Research …………………………………………….………..……..9 Chapter Two: Literature Review……….....….………………………………………… 10 Narcissism in Intimate Partner Relationships....................................................................11 Benefits and Pitfalls ...........................................................................................................13 Developmental Issues that Shape Women’s Responses to Abusive Intimate Relationships................................................................................................................14 Sociocultural background contexts........................................................................14 Background experiences of power imbalances......................................................18 Dominance .................................................................................................18 Admiration and rivalry...............................................................................20 Surviving Experiences Using Learned or Adaptive Responses.............................21 Attachment and Connection Issues............................................................21 Dependency................................................................................................23 Boundary and Relational Shifts .................................................................25 Family Dynamics.......................................................................................27 Stockholm Syndrome.................................................................................29 Interrelated Processes by which Mental Health and Well-Being are Experienced by Women Within the Context of Intimate Partner Abusive Relationships................30 Preservation of the ‘Self’ .......................................................................................30 Living Through Love Bombing.............................................................................32 Trauma and Trauma Bonding ................................................................................33 Conditional Regard and Self-Determination Theory.............................................35 Responses and Approaches to Supporting Women Who Live in Intimate Partner Narcissistic Relationships ............................................................................................38 Starting Where the Client ‘Is’: Using Humanistic Counselling Orientation .........38 Use of Conceptual Metaphors in Counselling .......................................................40 Supports .................................................................................................................41 Summary............................................................................................................................42 Chapter Three: Methodology…………………………………………...……..………...………45 Participants ………………….……………….………………………………………….45 Design of the Study ……………………………………….…………………………….46 Data Collection…………………………………………………………………………..46 Data Management ……………………………………………………..….……………..47 Data Analysis ……………………………………………………………………………48 Trustworthiness .………………………………………………………….….…………. 50 Reliability.……………………………………...….……………….….…………50 Internal Validity………………..………………………………….……………. 51 Bracketing: Ensuring Validity When the Researcher has a Stake in Participants’ Narratives ………………………………………………………………………. 52 Limitations of the Study………………………………………………………….…..…. 56 Summary ………………………………………………………………………………...57 Chapter Four: Findings ..................................................................................................................58 Participants Demographics ................................................................................................58 The Development Phases of the Women's Intimate Relational Journey ...........................59 Entry Phase: Negotiations of Desire............................................................................59 Sweet Beginnings ............................................................................................62 Yearnings for Love and Craving for Significance …….………………….…..…62 Exploration Phase: Heightening Male Dominance and Control Tolerance-Rejection Dialectics ...............................................................................................................62 Heightening Male Dominance and Control ……………………………..………63 Control Tolerance-Rejection Dialectics..…………………………………......….65 Emotional Dialecticism ……………………………………………………....….68 Establishment Phase: Authoritarianism and Relational Burdens.......................................68 Financial Burdens .................................................................................................69 Burdens Related to Activities of Daily Routines...................................................70 Subjective Well-Being in the Relationships ......................................................................71 Autonomy ..............................................................................................................71 Competence............................................................................................................74 Connectedness........................................................................................................75 Restriction..................................................................................................76 Character Blackmail...................................................................................77 Patches of Awakening and Coping....................................................................................78
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