My Six-Day CLC Retreat at St Beuno's
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My six-day CLC retreat at St Beuno’s When I first saw the Focus notice informing me of St. Beuno’s place is jam packed with people following Jesus. She is pushing her retreat I wanted to go, but it was the beginning of Advent and it way through the crowd and I am doing the same, so strongly am I seemed so far away. I had never been there before, so I put it to drawn to her. I can feel her pain and sickness, I can feel how weak the back of my mind, so much else was going on in my life. I then she is. I want to get close to her went on a CLC weekend to Leeds and at the end of the weekend I and touch her. She covers her found out that there was still a space open at the St. Beuno’s head as she is almost there. Then retreat so, took it as God telling me that the place was mine and I a pathway clears and she was going. reaches out her hand to touch As Advent was fast approaching and my caring duties had the garment. I am now near her escalated, I had so much to do, so I prayed to God to part the and Jesus turns around and asks waters and ease my passage. I care for my extremely disabled “who touched me?” His voice is so gentle and soft and he looks mother and my daughter, who is also suffering from a long term straight at me. I am about to say “this woman touched you,” but serious illness. I was extremely tired from the long journey and my there is no one there, only me. I am that woman, with all my pain, hectic and stressful life, so the first glimpse, through the trees, of St tiredness and failing faith. I have no time to spend with Jesus. Then Beuno’s was a revelation and it took my breath away. Even so, I he speaks to me, he tells me I have great faith, he tells me he can was in the depths of that soul -deep exhaustion that robs you of joy feel my pain and weakness. He says, “you came looking for me, and my faith was rock -bottom. you touched me. My power has strength in your faith.” From the minute I stepped through the door I had the most I am at peace, I feel joy. I open my eyes, I am bathed by the rays of wonderful feeling: the house was filled with an almost palpable sunshine coming through the window and I see Jesus in all his spiritual aura. We began by having tea and coffee and a meeting glory. I have no words to describe my feelings, I just know I need to followed where we were all introduced to each other and given a share this feeling of peace, joy and holiness. Is this a mission? I do chance to reflect on the CLC World Assembly. We then met our not know. guide and entered the silence that would last the duration of our I have thrown everything away, it is mere refuse, so that I can meet retreat. This was the start of my six-day journey to find my inner self, spending time with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Christ completely unfettered. I no longer have a rightness of my When I had my meeting with my guide I felt like somebody had own, not the rightness that is gained by obeying the law but the pulled the plug on my soul and let it flow free like the water from a rightness gained through faith in Christ. Remain close to God and bath. I just let all that I had in me out, I just talked and talked. I let God love you. talked about the hurt, pain, loneliness and having to fix everybody’s You come to me as a morning star, I was overcome by your beauty. life but my own. I talked of the tears, being frightened, being sad Just looking in awe at your shining magnificence, as the pink clouds and not knowing float by. So much you have shown me through my window of where I was going. peace and so much have we shared, you and I. How good that I walked the beautiful feels, touching and being touched by you. You have prepared me grounds of St. Beuno’s, I sat in my room and well for my journey home. prayed. Taking in my Lots of things have happened. Among them Jesus has washed my surroundings with my feet gently pouring water on them, his soothing hands cleaning my eyes, ears and touch, I emptied my mind, welcoming my silence. feet. He wiped them and I touched him and hugged him. Then as I know very little from the gospel. One morning I followed a gently as he came he moved on. It is like a dream. He has shown woman through the crowds. I know nothing about her but I am me what to do by example. He has made me ready for my journey. drawn to her. She is hurrying and looks around nervously. The By Paulina Brew NEWSLETTER February/March 2019 The 2018 CLC Individually Guided Retreat - at St Beuno’s, North Wales Nine retreatants attended from as far away as Surrey, CLC life. We were swept through the joy of the ever Scotland, the North-East and Bristol. The largest group was present risen Christ. It was such a God-soaked journey that from Cheshire and Lancashire. Pat Callaghan gave us an every one of us enjoyed the experience to the hilt. We all introduction on the World Assembly and Brother Alan came away refreshed, renewed and invigorated to face the Harrison sj gave us a wonderful opening presentation. future in our newly God-filled lives. We finished with St. Care was taken to offer accommodation for three with Paul to the Philippians’ extract on how Paul, even though disabilities. In the evening we were introduced to our imprisoned at the time, wanted them, and so also us, to be accompaniers, who were from the resident team. They happy. introduced us to ways of grounding ourselves to At a final meeting with Br. Alan and Pat, we all endorsed experience the wonders of silence. This empowered us to the experience as one essentially to be repeated and with a soak in the absolute beauty of God’s very real presence in wish that many more members will embrace this most this most wonderful of environments. The ambience and delectable of experiences. The community fed back to us the prayerful resting in Christ’s presence enchanted each how impressed they were at how caring we were for each one of us. Each day was embraced by a Eucharist that was other. Our only regret was that more members didn’t avail both simple and yet all invasive. themselves of this so wonderful experience. We each began our journey from where we were in our Wendy Green – Lone Member – Cheshire My Father’s house has many rooms special to go as a group), sitting quietly Dear Friends, a big thank you to CLC for in the prayer room and wandering the helping me onto the six-day silent grounds, the woods, the Rock chapel, retreat at Beuno’s Spirituality Centre in visiting Gerry Hughes’ grave and walking North Wales. I couldn't have done it the Labyrinth in prayer... My cup was without you! I must first say that I overflowing... Then the Silence - The needed some encouragement to do this Mass every evening ...JOY ...and retreat as I hadn't been on a silent retreat before. Exposition after the evening meal, and, very importantly, I was a little apprehensive to say the least especially the time spent every day with Judith my Spiritual Guide; when my son said he would come and get me if it got the spiritual direction offered played a central part in the too much and if I couldn't cope with the silence!! retreat and was both prayerful and inspirational. That's What a surprise!!! How wonderful and amazing to find when my prayers were answered. God brought me to a beautiful peace, love, kindness, quiet and strength...in place of rest, a place of wonder and peace, of nearness other words I had come home to God. It was the setting and understanding, precious, precious moments of tears for the most wonderful gift of all ...the gift of Silence. sometimes of sadness but mostly of joy. At this time of year, we get bogged down with I discovered gifts that were there, given to me from God advertising and shopping and all the noise that the but unrecognised by me until now. So where do I go season brings with it. However, to find this place, this now with this newness, this new closeness to God, with place where the peace of God can touch you and bring this simplicity of Silence, love for Christian Life you closer to Him, into a deeper relationship, this was a Community, of walking with God? truly profound experience for me. On the first day of You are the light in my heart, O Lord, Yours the footsteps being at St Beuno’s I was filled with excitement, I walked to follow. So whenever a shadow of doubt creeps in I the corridors looking at the art work on the walls, remember the giftedness of God’s goodness, His truth exploring the library and the wealth of books that could and beauty, the blessings and the peace.