The Culture of American Families Project

Culture of American Families Executive Report

Carl Desportes Bowman James Davison Hunter Jeffrey S. Dill Megan Juelfs-Swanson

A publication from Culture of American Families: Executive Report

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without permission in writing from the Institute for Advanced Studies in Culture. Published by the Institute for Advanced Studies in Culture.

This project was made possible through the support of a grant from the John Templeton Foundation. The opin- ions expressed in this publication are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the John Templeton Foundation.

Cover painting “Young Family” by Ulysse Desportes, Staunton, Virginia. Used with permission.

To obtain additional copies of this report, contact: Institute for Advanced Studies in Culture P.O. Box 400816 University of Virginia Charlottesville, VA 22904-4816 (434) 924-7705 www.iasc-culture.org [email protected] Project Statement 5

1 The State of the Family 6 America’s Parents Are Anxious 6 Parents Say Their Families Are Doing Well 9 Are America’s Parents in Denial? 10 How Parents Are Making Do 11

2 The Moral Ecology of the Family 16 The Complicated Circumstances of Our Times 16 Parents Want Their Children to Develop Strong Moral Character 16 Four Family Cultures 17 The Faithful—20 Percent of American Parents 18 Engaged Progressives—21 Percent of American Parents 21 The Detached—19 Percent of American Parents 25 American Dreamers—27 Percent of American Parents 29

3 Thoughts for Practitioners 33 The Reality Gap—“Not My Kids” 33 The Quandary of the New Therapeutic Familism 33 The Relative Autonomy of Parents 34 The Challenge of Technology 34 The Need for Safety 34 The Significance of Family Culture 34

Endnotes 36

About the Culture of American Families Project

TheCulture of American Families Project is a three-year the good child. Interview questions explore the investigation into the family cultures that are impact- kinds of people that parents want their children ing the next generation of American adults. Designed to become and attempt to elicit the explicit and conducted by the University of Virginia’s Institute and implicit strategies parents employ in their for Advanced Studies in Culture and funded by the habits and practices of scheduling, disciplining, John Templeton Foundation, this project adapts the motivating, and communicating with their tools of contemporary social science to an investiga- children. tion that is broadly interpretive and contextual. Our goal is to distinguish the cultural frameworks and Principal findings from the survey and interviews diverse moral narratives that both inform and are are being released in two separate reports—Culture informed by American family life. Specifically, this of American Families: A National Survey and Culture involves telling the complex story of parents’ habits, of American Families: Interview Report—along with dispositions, hopes, fears, assumptions, and expecta- Culture of American Families: Executive Report that tions for their children. includes thoughts for practitioners working with American families. For more information, or to access The data for this project was collected in two stages: other reports, please visit the project website: iasc- culture.org/caf. 1. A web-based survey of a nationally representative sample of 3,000 parents of school-aged children. Research Team This one-hour survey, fielded by Knowledge Carl Desportes Bowman, PhD Networks, examines a broad range of parental Project Director priorities, aspirations, challenges, and practices, James Davison Hunter, PhD as well as a variety of other cultural and socio- Project Director demographic indicators. Data for the survey, Jeffrey S. Dill, PhD and an accompanying non-response follow-up Director of Interviews survey, were collected from September 2011 Ashley Rogers Berner, DPhil through January 2012. Director of Public Engagement 2. Follow-up, in-person interviews were Joseph E. Davis, PhD conducted with 101 of the survey respondents. Project Consultant These 90-minute, semi-structured interviews Tony Tian-Ren Lin, PhD complement the survey with open-ended Research Fellow questions designed to explore how respondents Megan Juelfs-Swanson, MA articulate their visions of the good parent and Research Assistant 6 Culture of American Families

The State of the Family

America’s Parents Are Anxious This view is accompanied by a generally gloomy assessment of the family’s trajectory in American society. In the public discussion about the American family, one of the strongest themes for many years has been that • Less than 1 parent in 10 (8 percent) thinks the quality the family is an institution in disarray. Hardly anyone of American family life has improved since they were disagrees that the family is not functioning as well as it growing up. should and, as one scholar declared, “diagnosing its ills has become a cultural industry.”1 • Exactly 8 times as many (64 percent) say that family life has declined. Among the main challenges facing parents is their perception of the child’s fragility. Peter Stearn’s important What is more, decline in the family is part of a larger history of modern parenting describes the ascendancy view of decline in America: parents who think the fam- of the “vulnerable child” over the ily has declined also see a decline twentieth century. There were in our nation’s educational oppor- many reasons for the spread of The perception of family tunities, the quality of American this idea, but the advice of mid- schools, the safety of American decline is part of a larger twentieth century experts like communities, the quality of the Benjamin Spock went far toward perception that our popular media, the strength of inflaming anxieties rather than communities are less safe, the American economy, and easing them.2 Since then, this our work ethic has slipped, many other things. anxiety has only increased: and American religious and spiritual life has ebbed. Eighty percent of those who say …about the world their there has been “strong decline” in children will inherit the family also perceive a “strong decline” in American moral and • Less than a quarter of today’s parents agree that this ethical standards overall. They believe that the “honesty is a great time to be bringing children into the world and integrity of the average American” has waned. The and most say it is tougher to raise children today than perception of family decline is part of a larger percep- it was 50 years ago. tion that our communities are less safe, our work ethic has slipped, and American religious and spiritual life has Why? ebbed.

• Among other things, half (49 percent) of parents agree Even though the view of family decline is widely shared, it that “in general, Americans lived more moral and eth- is more pronounced in some social contexts than others. ical lives 50 years ago” than they do today; those who White parents, for example, see greater decline than black disagree with that assessment are in the minority (only parents. Also perceptions of strong decline are highest 24 percent). among the very religious and among Republicans. Executive Report 7

Figure 1 — Perception That American Family Life Is Declining by Race/Ethnicity.

100

40 Percent Seeing Family Decline

0 Black Hispanic White Race/Ethnicity

…about outside influences Concern about other adults has real-world consequences for children’s lives too. A black mother of three we inter- One of the major uncertainties of American parenting viewed says that her children are outside very little. pertains to outside threats. In this crazy world that we live in today, you • 4 out of 5 parents believe that “children are very vul- don’t know your neighbors like you used to… nerable and must be protected.” (Less than 15 percent [It’s] like the whole block, nobody knows each disagree.) other like they used to and we just feel it’s a risk to let them go over to other people’s houses. I • Roughly the same number (83 percent) claim, “I don’t know what those people do in their house. invest much effort in protecting my children from negative social influences.” Women tend to have a sharper sense that their children must be protected than men, and parents who Parents share a sense that the world, at least insofar as are religiously observant have a keener sense than the children are concerned, is a threatening place. The great- non-religious. Political affiliation, however, has little to est worries and fears for their children center on injury do with the matter. In fact, parents who self-identify as in an accident, kidnapping or sexual assault, addiction to Democrats are just as likely as Republicans to say they alcohol and drugs, and lack of ambition to succeed in life. invest much effort in protecting their children. 8 Culture of American Families

…about new technology • 7 out of 10 of teenagers are texting at least once a day, and nearly as many (64 percent) are texting multiple Some of the parents’ sense of danger clearly attaches times daily. to dimly perceived threats of media and technology. It is true that most American parents see cell phones • 4 out of 5 teens have a Twitter, Facebook, or other and the expansion of internet-based social network- social networking account where they “follow” and ing like Facebook and Twitter as mostly good for our “friend” people whom their parents don’t know, much society, but large swaths see it negatively: 41 percent less “friend.” regard the expansion of internet social networking as mostly negative and 34 percent regard cell phones in • Two-thirds of teenagers connect to their online social the same way. networks at least several times a week.

As far as the presence of the new electronic commu- • 62 percent of all parents of teenagers say that “my nications technology in the family goes, it is nearly children are constantly connected electronically with ubiquitous, especially in families with teenagers. their friends.” According to the Culture of American Families Survey, If we add to these the many other types of individuals, • 84 percent of teenagers carry a cell phone. information, and organizations that teenagers can access instantaneously on the web, it is clear that their daily • A full 93 percent of teenagers are connected to their lives are infused with contacts and information that are peers via cell phone or social networking online. beyond their parents’ control.

Figure 2 — Web-based Social Network Use of Parents and Teens.

Social Network Use

Never Daily Never

Daily Rarely

Weekly Weekly Rarely

Parents of Teens Teens Executive Report 9

One mother we interviewed described the dilemma • And 7 out of 10 parents (72 percent) say they invest this way: much effort in providing opportunities that will give their children a competitive advantage down the road. …the internet is vast, much more—it’s like the world at your fingertips, so to speak. Because Indeed, parents sense that they should be doing more, there’s a lot about the world that we don’t that their investment in their children should be even know, you have to be careful going out into it. greater than it is.

Other parents echoed this sentiment, worrying that • 6 of every 10 parents say they should be spending when kids are “on YouTube—[they] can see almost more time with their children than they do, twice the anything on there.” Parents—cutting across racial number who say their investment of time is enough. and educational lines—fear that their children will be “impressed by certain things” and be “exposed” to “things that will Parents Say Their Families lead them astray.” Parents report that their Are Doing Well own families and their own • Parents are twice as likely to agree Given the general sense of crisis children are actually doing as to disagree that “my children about the family among experts extremely well. see many things in the media that and parents alike, it was sur- they should not see” (59 percent prising to learn that parents see compared to 29 percent). their personal efforts paying off. Parents report that their own families and their own chil- • And a large minority of parents (40 percent) say that dren are actually doing extremely well. “trying to control teenagers’ access to technology is a losing battle,” a sentiment especially held among par- For example, according to parents, a third of their own ents of teenagers. children are “A students” on an A to F scale. Another 49 percent are either A/B or B students. This means that …even about their own parenting fully 82 percent of America’s schoolchildren are above average in their academic performance. This may fall Though a minority of parents say they have “little clue short of Garrison Keillor’s “children of Lake Wobegon,” what it takes to be a really good parent” (9 percent), but not by much. “feel inadequate as parents” (21 percent), or believe that their children need more from them than they are able Beyond that, to provide (31 percent), it doesn’t mean that they are not worried about how they are doing as parents. The • Parents report that 93 percent of their own children majority (55 percent) expressed concern about their have never been suspended from school. effectiveness, admitting that they often wonder whether they are doing a good job at parenting. • They also report that, in any given year, two-thirds of America’s children receive an award or certificate for It is for this reason that parents pour time and energy outstanding performance in school, sports, music, or into their children. the arts.

• 9 out of 10 parents (91 percent)—cutting across racial Perhaps these levels of achievement are due in part to and ethnic differences—say they invest much effort in close monitoring and support by their parents: shaping the moral character of their children. • 62 percent of parents indicate that they monitor their • 8 out of 10 parents (83 percent) say they invest much children’s homework almost always, and another 23 effort in protecting their children from negative social percent say they do so at least moderately. Only 15 influences. percent of parents indicate that they rarely or never provide oversight for their children’s homework. 10 Culture of American Families

Figure 3 — Percent of Children Who Are Overweight, Contrasting Estimates.3

30 Percent

0 Culture of American Na

• Based upon parental reports, only 1 of every 20 Similarly, the overwhelming majority of American American school children consumes alcohol; the parents (88 percent) say the values that they labor to rest—19 out of 20—never do. Limiting the analy- instill in their children are at least moderately sup- sis to teenagers, parents still report that only 1 in 10 ported by the schools their children attend. children ever drink alcohol; and limiting it to children 16 and older, the number who occasionally imbibes rises to only 17 percent or less than 1 in 5. Are America’s Parents in Denial? Yet, according to the U.S. Center for Disease Control and Parents in the Culture of American Families Survey Prevention (CDC), 72 percent of all high school students paint a rosier overall picture of their kids than the report having tried alcohol and 42 percent of them in the experts who study the family do. For example, last 30 days. • Based upon parental reports, the average grade • Based upon parental reports, only about 17 percent of point average for high school students is between high school students are sexually active and 60 percent 3.15 and 3.24. of have “definitely not” experienced sexual intercourse. Yet, according to national transcript data, the average high school grade point average is between 2.95 and 3.0. Executive Report 11

Yet, according to the CDC, 42 percent of all high school boys interacting with their children on a typical school and 43 percent of all high school girls report having sex. day.

• Based upon parental reports, 71 percent of • 94 percent say their parenting experience has been a American parents have no children who are over- happy one. weight. Parental reports also suggest that only 13 percent of America’s children are “somewhat over- • 83 percent of all parents say their children treat weight,” including only about 3 percent who are them with “a great deal of respect”; only 1 parent in “greatly overweight.” 10 disagrees with this statement.

Yet, according to National Center for Health Statistics • 52 percent say their children see them as friends; an data, more than one-third of American children and additional 28 percent say a blending of friend and adolescents are overweight, with 17 percent of them being authority figure. obese.4 One white father in his mid-thir- Are American parents in denial What becomes clear, ties was like many others when about what is really going on in though, is that children’s he spoke of the importance and their children’s lives? In certain need to communicate: “thinking for themselves” respects, they are. actually means children …[C]ommunication is impor- should think like their tant, that’s what everybody How Parents Are parents and less like stresses. That’s what Oprah, the Making Do their peers. psychologists, and everyone else says, “communication is The stresses and strains of fam- important.” ily life are real, to be sure. There is a pervasive sense that parents can take little for Parental feelings of family closeness extend to shared granted, must always be watchful, and can never, ever values and beliefs: do enough. Under the weight of this anxiety, parents naturally make the best of the situation. • More than 90 percent say their children share their own understandings of right and wrong. …through a “new therapeutic familism” • Two-thirds say their children share their views of “Making the best of things” has meant, in part, pur- faith and religion; only nine percent disagree with suing the ideals and practices of intense intimacy in this statement. the nuclear family. This “new therapeutic familism,” which has been documented by many scholars over In our interviews, this desire to share the same values the past several decades, is distinguished by the way and beliefs is expressed as the parents’ wish that their it seeks to satisfy the emotional and psychological children will “think for themselves.” What becomes needs of the family’s members. Evidence suggests clear, though, is that children’s “thinking for them- that the new familism may be a strategy for parental selves” actually means children should think like influence (especially of kids) in a context where there their parents and less like their peers. What appears is a general loss of authority in the family. to be the encouragement toward autonomy is more of an encouragement toward family conformity, The evidence from the survey confirms that the new rather than conformity with peers. familism pervades family culture in America: Given the reported harmony with their children, it is • 96 percent of American parents say they “love not surprising that parents also report very low levels spending time” with their children and 95 per- of parent-child conflict. cent of parents say they spend an hour or more 12 Culture of American Families

• Only 7 percent say they experience high levels of • Just under half (46 percent) are very well or fairly conflict with their children; 42 percent describe well supported by a network of friends and family. themselves as having a moderate level of conflict; and 52 percent claim a low level of conflict. • Just over a third (37 percent) say they are fairly independent with a little support when necessary. When we probe further, asking specifically about the levels of disagreement in 16 potential trouble areas, • And 1 in 6 (17 percent) say they are very inde- parents typically report conflicts at a level of 0 or 1 pendent with no real support network. These are on a 0–10 scale. As a rule, when parents and children disproportionately represented among the less well argue, they do so mainly over the ordinary routines educated and the poor. of daily living—children’s messiness, picking up after themselves, fulfilling daily chores or obligations, and But when parents speak of support, what do they mean? sibling disagreements. The survey confirms our intuitions that there is a gen- Looking toward the future, eral hierarchy of social support:

• 7 out of every 10 parents (72 • Spouse or partner: 79 percent percent) say, “I hope to be best of parents say they receive at friends with my children when least moderate support from Yet a large percentage they are grown.” their spouse or partner. of American parents now • Two-thirds of American par- say they manage fairly • Extended family: 56 percent ents (67 percent) say they independently, though say they receive at least mod- would “willingly support a 25 they are creative and erate support from extended year old child financially if they adaptive when they family: grandparents, aunts, really needed it”; only 17 per- need to be. and uncles; if one includes cent give a clear indication that one of their older children, the they would not. number rises to 70 percent.

• Fully two-thirds (65 percent) say they would • Friendship networks: 36 percent claim that they “encourage a 25 year old child to move back home receive this level of support from friends. if they had difficulty affording housing”; again, only 17 percent explicitly reject the idea. • Religious community: 27 percent receive at least moderate support from their church or synagogue, …independently, but with support when they though if they attend services weekly or more, the need it number increases to 51 percent.

Making the best of the challenge of parenting raises • After-school programs: Just about a quarter (23 per- questions about the level of social support that exists cent) say that after-school programs offer moderate around the family. In the past, family life never took (or greater) support, though almost 40 percent of place in a social vacuum. Parents were surrounded by parents with family incomes of less than $25,000 a a network of social ties comprising extended family, year say they provide this level of support. friends, and neighbors, not to mention a range of social institutions. Yet a large percentage of American parents • Neighbors: Less than 1 in 5 (18 percent) say they now say they manage fairly independently, though they receive at least moderate support from their neighbors. are creative and adaptive when they need to be. • Social Services: Only 13 percent say they receive at The Culture of American Families Survey found that: least moderate support from government social services, but if their income is less than $25,000, then the number increases to 29 percent. Executive Report 13

Figure 4 — Level of Support by Church Attendance.

No No Support Support Network Network Well‐ Supported Well‐ Some Supported Some Support Support When When Needed Needed

Never Weekly or More Church Attendance

and other social services, they seem to operate within • Live-in nanny or childcare provider: Only 1 parent niches that affect only certain types of American in 20 says that babysitters and nannies provide at families. Yet within these constituencies, they are very least a moderate level of support. important. As much as experts might assert that “it takes a village to raise a child,” for most American par- In general, American parents are creative and adaptive ents, the village is absent. in getting the support that they need. Most worri- some are the 1 in 6 who receive no support at all; the The consequences? A white mother of two put it this largest number are divorced or single, poor, and with way: little education. …I don’t think there’s a lot of guidance… As a rule, though, parents “go it alone.” Whether [you] put the fires out and handle the crises by choice or constraint, they parent with very thin and make the U-turns and deal with crazy support networks—namely, their partner and a few schedules and noise all the time, so you have members of their extended family. What is striking is to learn as you go. So I think that’s what I’m how small an active role neighbors play in the func- taking away from the experience. And with- tioning of American families. Six out of 10 parents (59 out guidance it really makes you feel that percent) say their neighbors offer no active support at you’re driving with a blindfold sometimes. all in their daily childcare routines, and three-quarters of all parents rate their neighbors support as negligi- ble. As for faith communities, after-school programs, 14 Culture of American Families

…with medication as a last resort or with clinical depression or anxiety, and only 1 parent in 5 has a child who has taken medication for one • 4 in 10 parents (41 percent), for example, say that of these problems. one of their children has struggled with excessive difficulties of focus, attention, and distractibility. But this rate is suppressed in part by the fact that the children of younger parents have not yet evidenced • 1 in 4 (24 percent) say one of their children has a problem meriting diagnosis or medication. When struggled with depression or excessive anxiety. analysis is restricted to parents whose youngest child is a teenager, 30 percent of parents say one of their • Nearly 3 in 10 (29 percent) say that at least one of children has been clinically diagnosed with issues of their children is overweight. focus or depression, and one quarter (26 percent) say one of their children has received medication.5 • Combining these worries, we find that a majority of American parents (60 percent) have a child who Yet parents wonder. Over a quarter (27 percent), for manifests one of these “challenges.” instance, say even if a teacher or guidance counselor recommended that a medication could improve their Yet only a quarter of American parents (24 percent) child’s school performance, and a doctor agreed, they say that one of their children has actually been diag- still wouldn’t consider it. And 4 parents in 10 (41 per- nosed with Attention Deficit Disorder or Attention cent) disagree that “medications to improve focus are a Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (A.D.D. or A.D.H.D.) good thing if they boost a child’s school performance.”

Figure 5 — Views of Medication by Family with Diagnosed Child.6

100

80 Diagnosed 70 Child

60 All Other Families 50

30 Percent Who Agree with Each Statement 20

0 Medica'ons are good Medica'on should if they boost school be a last resort. performance. Executive Report 15

Moreover, almost two-thirds of parents (63 percent) third are not sure what to think, selecting “undecided” believe that many children “are now medicated for prob- as their response. Parents are most inclined to accept lems that are better treated in other ways,” and 4 out of 5 medication solutions when school performance is parents (78 percent) think “medications should generally thrown into the balance. As a rule, they want to help be the last resort for solving a child’s problems.” their kids in any way possible, including the use of psychotropic medications if they believe circum- And parents equivocate. On several of our agree–dis- stances warrant it. agree questions regarding medication, a quarter to a 16 Culture of American Families

The Moral Ecology of the Family

Central to the culture of any family is its moral life— The Complicated Circumstances of Our Times its view of good and bad, right and wrong, what the family aspires to and what it shuns. These understand- What first becomes clear is that parents have diverse, even ings are often implicit and rarely articulated in daily contradictory, views of what constitutes the ideal family life, but they are powerfully present in the personal life. Whether the issue is sex before marriage, birth con- habits and attitudes of parents, the expectations they trol, living together before marriage, same-sex marriage, the have for their children, the behaviors they encourage, role of the mother, or even eating together as a family, the the decisions they make, and the sanctions they mete Culture of American Families Survey finds that Americans out. Children, then, are formed morally within this disagree very fundamentally about family values. culture—just as they are formed intellectually and emotionally. What is more, while most (69 percent) agree that “we would all be better off if we could live by the same basic To speak of “family culture” is moral guidelines,” large swaths to speak of something different of the population of American from the popular psychologi- “Moral ecology”… parents live by an everyday (as cal idea of “parenting style.” includes such things as opposed to philosophical) relativ- Parenting style, as described the bedrock values and ism, believing that there are “few by psychologists, is simply a ideals that the family holds moral absolutes,” that “all views strategy by which parents raise of what is good are equally valid,” sacred, the story that the their children. Think of it as and that “as long as we don’t hurt an “approach” that includes family tells of itself, and others, we should all just live the methods and techniques the practices that reinforce however we want.” of childrearing. Thus, different these things. It is the world parents have different styles of children inhabit. At the very least, the absence of parenting. a clear consensus of family values and the individualism and relativ- Family culture can be thought ism that inform parents’ views of of as a more comprehensive “moral ecology” within values suggest that there are no clear roadmaps for par- which all members of the family, including children, ents to follow in raising their kids morally. reside. It includes such things as the bedrock values and ideals that the family holds sacred, the story that the family tells of itself, and the practices that rein- Parents Want Their Children to Develop force these things. It is the world children inhabit. In Strong Moral Character this way, family culture is a more complex and inclu- sive phenomenon than mere parenting style. Though they may disagree about the moral frameworks that guide family values, parents do not disagree about the urgency of raising good kids. On this, parents are of one mind. Executive Report 17

• The overwhelming majority of American parents Four Family Cultures (96 percent) say “strong moral character” is very important, if not essential, to their children’s future. One way of distilling the variety of factors that make up family culture is a statistical technique called “clus- Unprompted, parents tend to lack a vocabulary for ter analysis.” In distilling the complex array of factors talking about character and virtue with their children. in the Culture of American Families Project, we con- Yet, during the in-depth interviews, they nevertheless ceive of the family as a moral ecosystem in which articulate their priorities on this matter. One Hispanic understandings of “the good” are taught explicitly mother of six speaks for many when she says, and imparted implicitly, reverberating through the ordinary practices and conversations of daily fam- I believe you have to have a good heart first. ily life. As such, our effort to identify “family types” I wouldn’t want all my kids to be the top stu- extends beyond questions of emotional attachment dents and become attorneys and doctors, but and parental direction to include factors pertaining be horrible people. I wouldn’t want that… to different understandings of “the good,” its sources, you’ve got to be a good person. You’ve got to and the aspirations that parents hold for their chil- be a good kid. dren. On these strictly moral grounds, four types of family cultures emerged, what we are calling the When prompted, what are the specific qualities that Faithful, the Engaged Progressives, the Detached, and parents most want to see in their children? Figure 6 the American Dreamers. shows how specific qualities are ranked in each cat- egory from high to low, showing a broad and general consensus, with only a few areas of strong disagreement, the most notable being religion.

Figure 6 — Parental Aspirations for Children, Ordered High to Low.

Most Highly Valued Moderately Valued Least Valued

Valuing practical skills over Honest and truthful Generous with others book learning Interested in arts, Strong moral character Smart/intelligent literature, & history

Loving Comfortable sharing feelings Thin, not overweight

Reliable and dependable Forgiving when wronged Popular and well-liked

Hard-working Volunteer time to help others Powerful and influential

Preserving close ties with Strong religious faith Athletic parents & family

Financially independent Patriotic Shared political values

Concerned about recycling & Highly educated Famous or well-known the environment 18 Culture of American Families

The Faithful—20 Percent of American and least heavily in New England and on the Pacific Parents coast. Republicans outnumber Democrats by a 4-to-1 margin (51 percent compared to 13 percent), and 61 An Overview percent say they plan to vote for the Republican can- didate in the 2012 presidential election compared to The defining feature of the Faithful is that “morality” only 12 percent who say they support the re-election is understood to be received from a divine, external of President Obama. source, whether within a Jewish, Christian, or Muslim tradition. A strong view of providence is the lens that Family Life: Eighty-eight percent of the Faithful are shapes not only the Faithful’s perceptions of current married, and three-quarters (74 percent) remain in realities and the past, but also their hopes for the their first marriage. Nearly all of the parents in this future, both practically and theologically. group (96 percent) say that the trend toward “more people living together without getting married” has Some of the Faithful’s most basic truths are understood been bad for American society, even though 37 per- to be family truths, especially the reservation of sex and cent confess to having lived with a romantic partner childbearing for the institution of marriage between a outside of marriage. Their family sizes are larger than man and a woman. These foundational understand- average—a quarter have four or more children— ings—that truth is received from and their attitude toward public above, that it is therefore time- schools (and secular “experts” in less, and that families are not general, for that matter) is more For the Faithful, a strong only blessings from above, but negative than for other groups. enclaves for the reproduction and view of providence is the multiplication of God’s timeless lens that shapes not only The culture of the Faithful is the truths—mold the cultural prac- the Faithful’s perceptions last bastion of pre-1960s sexual tices and understandings of these of current realities and morality. On a 7-point scale run- committed conservatives. the past, but also their ning from “completely disagree” hopes for the future, to “completely agree,” two-thirds The moral intuition and imagina- of the Faithful (68 percent) take both practically and tion of the Faithful parents tend the most extreme stance, com- to be conservative. The Faithful theologically. pletely disagreeing that “sex are distressed by the moral condi- before marriage is okay if a couple tions of the society in which they love each other.” It is not surpris- live, determined to defend the traditional social order, ing then that 7 out of every 10 among the Faithful (69 and confident that if they cannot accomplish this task, percent) believe that methods of birth control should at least they can buffer themselves from progressive cur- not be made available to teenagers without their par- rents enough that their families will remain faithful to ents’ approval; they are nearly 3 times as likely as other their traditions. Indeed, in the face of what they con- parents to express this view. Three-quarters of the sider to be sweeping social decay, the Faithful sustain a Faithful completely disagree that homosexual couples steadfast confidence that their own children will imbibe should have the right to marry. Even so, few (19 per- and perpetuate the truths that have been nurtured, day cent) are worried or fearful that their own children by day, in their homes and faith fellowships. might develop a homosexual orientation, and the vast majority (80 percent) think there is no possibility The Specifics that their children have ever had sexual intercourse. In a nutshell, while society is seen to suffer various Background Profile: Two-thirds of the Faithful are forms of decline, the Faithful are confident that their white (non-Hispanic), 16 percent are Hispanic, and own families will remain faithful to their God-given 11 percent are black. They are of fairly average edu- sexual morality—so confident, in fact, that they cation, with slightly more having completed a 4-year unanimously agree that “my children share my under- college degree (36 percent) than other parents (32 per- standings of right and wrong.” cent). They are most heavily concentrated in the South Executive Report 19

The Faithful can also sometimes defy outsiders’ per- them is right (88 percent), rather than upon “what ceptions of old-fashioned. It is true that mothers is best for everyone involved” (9 percent) or what among the Faithful are less likely than other mothers would “make you happy” (2 percent). Happiness to work for pay outside the home and more likely to (and the feeling factor in general) matters to the embrace the occupational label of “homemaker,” espe- Faithful as it does to others, of course, but it weighs cially when their children are young. But gender roles less heavily upon the Faithful than their commit- among the Faithful are far from the cut-and-dried ment to moral clarity. “mom should stay at home” while “dad brings home the bacon” variety. Only a minority (43 percent), for Faith: Half (49 percent) of the Faithful say their reli- instance, agree that “a preschool child is likely to suffer gion is “the most important thing in their life” and if his or her mother works,” and only 8 percent—less most of the rest (46 percent) rate their religion as “very than 1 in 10—“completely agree.” And even though important.” Nearly all them know without a doubt the Faithful are much more likely than other parents that God really exists (97 percent) and have a personal to “completely agree” that a woman should put her relationship with Him (97 percent). More than 4 out husband and children ahead of her career, they are of 5 (82 percent) attend religious services on a weekly equally adamant in their insistence that a man should basis. And three-quarters of the Faithful describe their do the same. In a word, the Faithful embrace a gender religious beliefs as “conservative,” the same number equality that allows for gender-based role distinctions. that identify themselves as “born again.” Yet, even in the presence of such distinctions, they insist that men and women should be equally focused Rejecting the more relativistic faith stance of many upon the family. As a matter of fact, they are less likely American parents, four-fifths of the Faithful (81 per- than other parents to agree that “the mother’s role in cent) reject the notion that “most religions are equally raising children is more important than the father’s.” good paths to the same destination,” and only 10 Many of them (42 percent), in fact, completely dis- percent say “there are few moral absolutes—what is agree with this diminished vision right or wrong usually varies from of fatherhood. situation to situation” (compared to a majority of other parents). Like most American parents, Beyond matters of belief, Given these positions, it is not the Faithful want their families daily interactions between surprising that they are the only to be warm and emotionally the Faithful and their group among our family cultures supportive places for both children are strongly to reject the idea that “we should themselves and their children, informed by their religious be more tolerant of people who even at the expense of paren- framework. adopt alternate lifestyles”; only tal happiness. For example, a quarter (27 percent) of the when divorce is pitted against Faithful embrace this view (com- marital unhappiness, marital pared to 62 percent of other unhappiness wins out—60 percent of the Faithful parents). These understandings all fit within a broader disagree that divorce is preferable to maintaining ontological framework in which human nature is an unhappy marriage compared to only 16 percent seen as “basically sinful” (78 percent agreement) and of other parents. And the therapeutic view that “the the moral responsibility of each individual includes best response in most situations is whatever keeps helping others to “lead more moral lives” (69 percent people from feeling uncomfortable or upset” is agreement). Other parents tend to reject both of these rejected by 83 percent of the Faithful, compared to understandings (with only 43 percent and 36 percent 48 percent of other parents. Similarly, the Faithful agreement, respectively). are nearly unanimous (91 percent) in rejecting the moral premise that “as long as we don’t hurt oth- Faith and Children: Beyond matters of belief, daily ers, we should all just live however we want.” When interactions between the Faithful and their children faced with a situation that is morally unclear, the are strongly informed by their religious framework. Faithful overwhelmingly say they would decide Not only do the Faithful pray (80 percent pray daily), what to do based upon what God or scripture tells but nearly two-thirds (64 percent) say they pray or 20 Culture of American Families

Figure 7 — Perception of Moral Responsibility for Others by Family Cultures.

100

30 Percent Who Agree 20

0 The Faithful All Other Parents “It is my responsibility to help others lead more moral lives.”

have devotions with their children at least several times a problem for the Faithful. They see spanking, for a week. Most (67 percent) practice a daily ritual of example, as a more important parenting tool than prayer with family meals; only 20 percent of other other parents; they are more inclined to assign daily American parents do the same. The Faithful are also chores; and they understand the role of parents as unusual in their habit of talking with their children the director of children’s development more than about faith; nearly four-fifths of them (79 percent) say caretaker of their discovery gardens. Their sense of they do this at least several times a week compared efficacy and control in the face of a seductive material to 30 percent of other parents. All of this is consis- world are impressive. Fully two-thirds reject the idea tent with their understanding that “raising children to that “trying to control teenagers’ access to technology reflect God’s will and purpose” is the most important is a losing battle,” compared to 41 percent of other goal of parenting. Three-quarters of the Faithful say parents. this is more important than their children’s eventual happiness and positive feelings about themselves, Community: While families, like politicians, may whether their children one day make positive con- debate whether “it takes a village” to raise a child, tributions to their communities, or whether their all families live and breathe within broader networks children become successful in their careers. of family, friends, organizations, and institutions. The Faithful, in particular, surround themselves These things might strike some contemporary par- with those who support their moral outlook and ents as old-fashioned, but being old-fashioned is not faith understandings. In situations where other Executive Report 21

parents turn to experts, clinicians, or counselors, Engaged Progressives—21 Percent of the Faithful turn to pastors or spiritual counselors. American Parents A number of questions in our survey suggest that they are suspicious of social science (and scientific An Overview knowledge) in general. This suspicion often extends to experts trained in those disciplines—social work- Engaged Progressives live in a different world—mor- ers, psychologists, and educators—until, that is, the ally speaking—than the Faithful, one that is more fluid Faithful receive some signal of where the experts are and more lightly carried. Moral gravity, in this case, coming from, of their faith commitments. When doesn’t pull so strongly toward particular behaviors. At they have serious concerns about a child’s moral the center of the Engaged Progressives’ moral universe or ethical development, the Faithful say they turn stands the virtue of personal freedom; with freedom first to their spouse and then to scripture, religious comes choice and, by implication, responsibility for teachings, pastors, or religious counselors. After that the consequences of one’s choices. Within such a moral they turn to extended family or framework, parents must prepare friends. Only later do they turn children to be responsible choos- to teachers, school administra- Engaged Progressives… ers, weighing alternatives, thinking tors, therapists, psychologists, or carefully through courses of action must prepare children to counselors. More than 4 out of 5 in advance. They must also grant (83 percent) say the values they be responsible choosers, the same freedom to others, so a teach their children are greatly weighing alternatives, virtue of “diversity” is embraced so supported by their children’s thinking carefully through that all may live freely and freely experience with the faith com- courses of action in choose. munity. In short, the structure of advance. their hierarchy of trust is differ- In their ideal, the playing field of ent than for many other parents. life must be relatively even and And the Faithful feel better sup- open. Justice, therefore, defined ported in general by their web of relations than do as the universal application of fair rules, is a central many others. The fact that their faith community is concern of Engaged Progressives. Even so, it is under- woven tightly into that support fabric certainly has stood that some have advantages, that there will be something to do with it. winners and losers, and that some will lead and others will follow in the race to achieve individual fulfillment The World: One of the reasons that the Faithful and success. surround themselves with coreligionists is that the larger world is perceived to be in decline. About half Engaged Progressives, however, remind their children of the Faithful see a “strong decline” since their own not to directly harm others. In fact, this is the closest childhood in American moral and ethical standards they come to an absolute moral injunction. In their (49 percent); in the quality of TV, movies, and enter- world, this “golden rule” and its moral extension—to tainment (52 percent); and in the dating and sexual do good for others—are in many ways sufficient to practices of teenagers (57 percent). In fact, a size- define a person as good or bad. Yet the values of hon- able minority of the Faithful (42 percent) say that esty, openness, empathy, and rational explanation are public schools have a generally negative impact upon understood to soften the social spaces in which the the nation’s children (compared to only 19 percent golden rule is applied. of other parents). Even among the Faithful who send their children to local public schools, nearly Having sidelined God as morality’s author, Engaged two-thirds (63 percent) say they would not do so Progressives are left with the burden of constructing if they had a choice, with religiously affiliated pri- moral accounts, of justifying to others why they choose vate schools and homeschooling being the preferred this over that, of explaining why their lives are ordered alternatives. in particular ways. Even when choices are obviously self-serving, Engaged Progressives are uncomfortable with the prospect of that as their ultimate goal. 22 Culture of American Families

The Specifics Family Life: Eighty percent of Engaged Progressive parents are married, and nearly two-thirds (63 per- Background Profile:Seven of every 10 Engaged cent) remain in their first marriage. An even greater Progressive parents (71 percent) are white (non-His- number (68 percent) say they once lived with a panic), 17 percent are Hispanic, and very few (only romantic partner without being married, and most 2 percent) are black. They are more highly educated don’t regret it. In fact, 67 percent say that the trend than other parents—nearly half (46 percent) have toward more people living together without getting completed a 4-year degree compared to 31 percent of married has been a good thing for our society. For other parents. In fact, 20 percent of Engaged parents them, it has simply become a new stage in a relational have completed postgraduate degrees, a rate double progression; those among the Engaged who “lived that of other parents. Few, relatively speaking, live in together” (89 percent) generally considered it a step the 15 southern states. Half live either in the Northeast towards a possible marriage. While the divorce rate (including New England and the Mid-Atlantic) or on of Engaged Progressives parents does exceed that of the Pacific coast. Democrats outnumber Republicans the Faithful (27 percent compared to 21 percent), the by almost a 4-to-1 margin (44 percent to 12 percent), Engaged have not experienced more divorces than and 53 percent say they plan to vote for President other parents nationwide. They generally display less Obama in the 2012 presidential election compared to variation in family size than other parents, having set- 18 percent who say they will support his Republican tled upon a two-child ideal for family life. (Sixty-four opponent. percent say 2 children is best compared to 41 percent of the Faithful.)

Figure 8 — Engaged Progressives’ View of Tolerance.

Disagree

Undecided

Agree

“We should be more tolerant of people who adopt alternative lifestyles.” Executive Report 23

Faith and Morality: In stark contrast to the Faithful, process for separating the two is less explicit and more Engaged Progressive parents are the least religious of fluid than that of the Faithful. But it could hardly any in our study. In fact, none of them say religion is be otherwise when their “most believable author- “the most important thing in my life,” and only 13 ity in matters of truth” is so malleable. Rather than percent say religion is even “very important.” Instead, turning to external (religious) sources in matters of about two-thirds say religion is “not too important” truth (as do four-fifths of the Faithful), 6 of every 10 (27 percent) or not at all important (36 percent). This Engaged Progressives (59 percent) turn either to their reflects the fact that 3 out of 4 among the Engaged (74 own personal experience or to what “feels right” to percent) either have doubts about God’s existence or them personally. Such anchors are fluid enough that reject the notion altogether. Few (only 10 percent) are Engaged Progressives feel an obligation to extend avowed atheists; more are agnostic (17 percent) or say moral latitude to others, recognizing that the experi- they believe in a “higher power ences and feelings of one person of some kind” (20 percent); and are not those of another. Yet the even more say they “have doubts, fact that they ground truth in Engaged Progressives feel but feel they do believe in God” clearly subjective sources does (28 percent). Given the equivo- an obligation to extend not translate into a preoccupa- cal nature of their belief system, moral latitude to others, tion with the self when faced it is not surprising that over half recognizing that the with moral dilemmas. Instead, of the Engaged (57 percent) never experiences and feelings of a large majority of Engaged attend religious services and less one person are not those Progressives (71 percent) say they than 1 in 5 (19 percent) attend of another. would do “what would be best more than several times a year. for everyone involved” if they The overwhelming majority (93 were unsure what was right or percent) say that their religious wrong in a situation. Faced with beliefs are moderate or liberal, that they haven’t been such a dilemma, only 10 percent say they would do born again (91 percent), and that they reject the what would make them happy personally or improve notion of a personal relationship with God (71 per- their individual situation. Whether they actually live cent either say that they don’t have one or they don’t according to these criteria is hard to say, but their know whether they do). articulated moral ideal is more communitarian than self-serving or hedonistic. While some among the Faithful might recoil at this portrait, charging Engaged Progressives with believing As further evidence of this communitarian ideal, in little and standing for less, the truth is that Engaged Engaged Progressives are cautious about embracing Progressives embrace a moral order with its own logic plainly relativistic and purely therapeutic moral pri- and moral criteria. One thing that is high on their orities. While 6 out of 10, for example, agree that “the ethical agenda, for example, is the ideal of personal greatest moral virtue is to be honest about your feel- liberty. Over half (55 percent) believe that “as long as ings and desires,” half of those who do (29 percent we don’t hurt others, we should all just live however of all Engaged Progressives) say they only “slightly we want.” And Engaged Progressive parents are even agree,” rejecting the stronger “mostly agree” and more supportive of a moral code advocating tolerance “completely agree” endorsements. The same pattern of others than they are of one advocating freedom for holds for the individualistic notion that “our values self. More than four-fifths (83 percent) agree that “we are something that each of us must decide without should be more tolerant of people who adopt alter- being influenced by others.” And when asked about nate lifestyles.” This is closely tied to the fact that the statement that “everything is beautiful—it’s all two-thirds (64 percent) of these parents believe “there a matter of how you look at it,” almost 7 out of 10 are few moral absolutes—what is right or wrong usu- (69 percent) agree, but again, many of these (29 per- ally varies from situation to situation.” cent) only “slightly agree.” An even greater number of Engaged Progressives express skepticism about the So it is not that Engaged Progressives draw no con- assertion that “all views of what is good are equally clusions about right versus wrong; it is just that their valid.” And they reject outright the notion that “the 24 Culture of American Families

best response in most situations is whatever keeps children’s choice of friends and more of a sense (than people from feeling uncomfortable or upset.” (Nearly the Faithful, at least) that efforts to control teenag- two-thirds [64 percent] disagree compared to only 18 ers’ access to technology are futile. This distinction percent who agree.) In short, Engaged Progressives also plays out in their children’s involvement with express a large measure of skepticism about strong movies, videos, and popular music. Half of Engaged moral positions period. This is true whether they are Progressives say their children are more than just grounded in faith convictions or in more individualis- moderately involved with such elements of popular tic moral frameworks. culture, compared to just 30 percent of the Faithful.

Children: How does such a moral order color fam- Engaged Progressive parents also have a different ily life and parent-child interactions in particular? perspective than the Faithful on what is appropriate Obviously, Engaged Progressives infrequently accom- when. Take R-rated movies: Engaged Progressives typ- pany their children to church, pray with them, or ically say it is acceptable for children to watch them by talk with them about God. For instance, 58 percent about age 16, while the Faithful think children should say they never have a prayer or blessing with family wait until age 18 when they can legally watch them meals and another 24 percent say it happens only in a theater. And a quarter of Engaged Progressive rarely. Popular stereotypes suggest that their lives may parents will let their children attend parties without be too busy for sitting down with children at all, but adult supervision by age 16 while the Faithful make our data reveal that they eat together with children them wait until they are legally “adults.” Engaged about as often as the Faithful. Engaged Progressives Progressive parents also let their children surf the web don’t invoke the word “strict,” however, as often to without any parental monitoring and hang out at the describe their parenting approach with children, yet mall earlier. But the greatest difference in perceptions they are more inclined to call themselves “strict” than of what is developmentally appropriate has to do with “permissive.” Generally speaking, though, they prefer romantic relationships. Engaged Progressives think it the term “moderate.” Their hesitancy to employ pun- is appropriate for children to experience their first kiss ishments such as grounding, denying opportunities at the age of 14 or 15, while the Faithful think chil- to participate in sports or clubs, withholding televi- dren should wait until 16 or later. The same difference sion or internet privileges, scolding, or even the threat holds for information about sex. Engaged Progressives of a spanking confirm that there is substance behind think children should receive information about birth their self-understanding as moderates in the realm of control by the time they are 14, while the Faithful strictness. think they should wait until 16 or older.

Engaged Progressives overwhelmingly describe their The World: But there is less of a reason for Engaged relationships with their children as being “very close.” Progressives to be cautious about the world “out In fact, they are 11 times more likely to say they are there,” for their perceptions of it are more optimis- close to their children than strict with them. In many tic than those of the Faithful. Where the Faithful see ways, their relationships with children are described strong decline, Engaged Progressives see only moder- similarly to those of the Faithful. In both cases, two- ate decline, if not a world where things are holding thirds of parents see themselves as closer to their own steady. Their perceptions of American moral and children than their parents were with them. And in ethical standards; the quality of TV, movies, and both cases, parents tend to see themselves as less strict entertainment; and dating and the sexual practices of than their parents were. teenagers, in particular, are more benign than those of the Faithful. In each case, approximately half of the But there are contrasts too. One-third of Engaged Faithful see a “strong decline” compared to less than Progressives say that spanking children is wrong and 20 percent of Engaged Progressives. Public schools should never be done, and over half say they have too are perceived quite differently. More children never spanked their children (28 percent) or done so of Engaged Progressives attend local public schools only once or twice (29 percent). Their moral opposi- in the first place. And, even if they were given the tion to spanking clearly sets them apart from other option (and money) to send children wherever they parents, and they also have fewer quarrels over their wanted, two-thirds of Engaged Progressives would Executive Report 25

keep their children right where they are—in the local heavily invested in their parenting and work hard at public school (compared with only 37 percent of the it. The general portrait of them that emerges from Faithful). And why not, when 75 percent of Engaged the data is of parents who are fully committed to Progressives see public schools as having a generally their children, who are less the authority figure and positive impact upon our nation’s children (compared less punitive than parents among the Faithful, and to 38 percent of the Faithful)? who are generally more optimistic about both the culture that surrounds them and their children’s In fact, the only part of the world “out there” that prospects in it. Their rejection of religion, the role Engaged Progressives appear to be highly suspi- of the faith community in supporting the family, cious of is religion. While only 18 percent say they and moral absolutism of any form are distinguishing would be unlikely to seek advice for their children’s features. moral development from therapists, psychologists, or counselors; and 25 percent Some of the differences between say the same about information family cultures are subtle. sources on the internet; 7 out of The Detached are pulled Mothers who still have preschool- 10 (69 percent) say they would aged children at home, for in many directions be unlikely to seek advice from example, are about as likely to simultaneously and often a pastor or religious counselor. remain at home caring for them Even more (80 percent) say they respond by slipping to the among Engaged Progressives as would steer clear of scripture and sidelines…Their parenting among the Faithful (58 percent religious teachings as a guide to strategy is to let kids be compared to 65 percent). The moral development. And why kids and let the cards fall difference between those moth- should they turn to sources that where they may. ers resides not in whether they might have a radically different stay at home, but how they think view of human nature? Less than of themselves while doing so. a third of Engaged Progressives, The Faithful are more likely to after all, embrace the traditional Christian tenet that consider themselves “homemakers” while Engaged “human nature is basically sinful.” Moreover, 3 out of Progressives still cite their vocational role as their 4 (76 percent) believe divorce is preferable to main- occupation even though they are taking a hiatus. taining an unhappy marriage, the same number that reject the idea that abortion is murder. And only 1 of every 10 Engaged Progressives rejects the idea of gay The Detached—19 Percent of American marriage. With this set of moral priorities, the only Parents type of diversity that Engaged Progressives might tac- itly oppose within their children’s friendship network An Overview would be a born-again Christian. Between the clearly conservative commitments of the It would be unfair for Faithful parents to conclude by Faithful and the plainly progressive ones of the Engaged those previous statements that Engaged Progressives Progressives lies a world of less moral certainty. Moral have lost respect for family values or for their chil- commitment persists, to be sure, but parents among dren’s moral character. If the self-reports of Engaged the Detached are pulled in many directions simultane- Progressive parents mean anything, this is far from ously and often respond by slipping to the sidelines. true. On the contrary, they are nearly unanimous Let the Faithful and Engaged Progressives battle for the (93 percent) in saying that they invest much effort moral high ground; life to the Detached seems com- in shaping the moral character of their children. And plex enough that the primary freedom they seek is the their highest aspirations, like those of the Faithful, freedom of retreat. Their parenting strategy is to let kids are that their children will become adults who are be kids and let the cards fall where they may. They are honest and truthful, who have strong moral char- skeptical about the old certainties of the Faithful, but acter, and who treat others in a loving fashion. We just as skeptical about the designs and self-assurance of call Engaged Progressives “engaged” because they are Engaged Progressives. 26 Culture of American Families

It is not that the Detached embrace moral relativism family cultures, the Detached have the fewest parents to the same extent as moral progressives—they do employed in professional and managerial occupations not—but they lack the vision, vitality, certainty, and (33 percent). Nearly half (46 percent) are distributed self-confidence required to embrace any agenda, even across a variety of service, sales, construction and a relativistic one. In this sense, they are more morally maintenance, laboring, and transport occupations. overwhelmed and unresolved than committed relativ- ists. Theirs is a universe of low parental efficacy, where The Detached are fairly proportionately distributed political, religious, and social programs are confound- across American geographic regions, with slightly ing, peer influence looms large, and people just try elevated percentages in the West-North Central and to get by. Given a choice between this plan or that Mountain regions and slightly lower numbers on the strategy, their choice is to remain undecided, to stand Pacific coast. Democrats (28 percent) and Republicans aside, to watch what others do. (26 percent) are evenly represented among them, but politically they are most noted for the fact that 27 per- Economically, they have fewer resources than either cent spurn political identification altogether, even the the Faithful or Engaged Progressives; education- “Independent” designation. A third of Detached par- ally, they have lower aspirations and fewer options; ents (34 percent) say they will vote for the Republican politically, they are independents, if anything at all. challenger in 2012 compared 21 percent who say they In every arena—whether parental aspirations, moral will support President Obama, but what is most nota- commitments, faith connections, or political prefer- ble politically is the fact that nearly half (45 percent) ences—they are consistently unlikely to “vote.” Their indicate they will vote for someone else or not at all. families and children are as important to them as families are to other parents, but they view the paths to Family Life: Two-thirds (67 percent) of Detached parental success as less pre-ordained than the Faithful parents are currently married, and slightly more than and as more fickle than the Engaged Progressives. half (54 percent) remain in their first marriage. Like Engaged Progressives, about two-thirds (63 percent) They may quietly hope that one of their children will say they once lived with a romantic partner without get lucky, becoming a celebrity, a sports star, or some- being married, but unlike Engaged Progressives, most one of significance, but trying to orchestrate such of the Detached (59 percent) think this trend is bad an outcome seems futile. There is too much to lose for society. Three of every 10 among the Detached from the investment, too great a risk of failure, and (29 percent) have divorced at some point. Currently, too daunting a prospect of being played for a fool. If 14 percent are divorced or separated, another 13 per- Engaged Progressives subscribe to the motto “noth- cent are currently living with a partner, and another ing ventured, nothing gained,” the Detached are more 5 percent are single parents. About 1 in 4 (27 per- likely to quietly muse, “nothing ventured, nothing cent) indicate that they receive at least moderate help lost.” Laissez faire parenting, for them, is a natural in parenting from a parent of their children who lives response to a generalized lack of certainty and a weak at a different residence. Detached parents are twice as sense of parental efficacy. likely as the Faithful to have only one child.

The Specifics One of the most distinctive things about the Detached is that throughout our survey, they tend to check the Background Profile: Two-thirds of Detached parents response that says “neutral” or similar responses that (65 percent) are white (non-Hispanic), 17 percent are suggest a certain indifference or hesitancy to com- Hispanic, and 1 of every 10 is black. On the whole, mit. Yet there is enough movement and variation they are less educated than the Faithful and especially in their responses that we interpret this as reflecting the Engaged Progressives, with less than a quarter (23 something about their approach to life, not just to percent) having completed a 4-year degree and nearly surveys. They are generally reticent; when they dis- half (46 percent) not having attended college at all. agree or agree with a statement, they do so “slightly.” One quarter of them have annual household incomes Their responses to our questioning also reflect a lack below $25,000, compared to 11 percent of Engaged of personal efficacy. Simply put, they appear to be par- Progressives and 13 percent of the Faithful. Of all our ents who shrug their shoulders at many things, not Executive Report 27

being confident enough, clear enough, or committed attend college, which isn’t surprising given their enough in their response to take a strong position. children’s lower academic performance in school. They are more phlegmatic than passionate, at least in (Consider that children of the Detached are about the way they respond to inquiries such as ours. as likely to be “A” students as “less than B” students, while children of the Engaged Progressives are three We see this first and foremost in the way the times more likely to be the former than the latter.) Detached talk about their families. Less than 4 in 10 (38 percent), for example, say they are “very The older teenagers of Detached parents are more happy” in their marriages, compared to over half likely to get into fights at school, and metaphori- of other parents (52 percent). And less than one- cally at least, their parents are fighting too—if third (29 percent) say they are “very happy” with not fighting for parental influence, at least feeling their parenting experience overall, compared to half ambivalent about the school’s role in their chil- of all other parents. And they spend less time with dren’s lives. They are practical enough to realize an their children: nearly half (43 percent) say they education is necessary, yet they wonder whether the spend less than 2 hours interacting with children values and perspectives embraced by professional on a typical school day, compared to 27 percent of educators connect in any way with their own. other parents. They are twice as likely as Faithful When asked how much the values they teach their and Engaged Progressive parents to keep the tele- children are reinforced by their children’s schools, vision on during family meals only one-third of Detached par- (and watch more TV generally ents (34 percent) say “a great than other parents). They are For the Detached, their deal,” compared to just over less optimistic about the oppor- story, in a word, is one of half of other American parents tunities for their children’s (52 percent). But maybe that influence lost. generation than other parents. is because the Detached offer little moral instruction in the Morality and School Life: When first place. Less than 4 of every it comes to the values and character traits that the 10 (38 percent) say that instructing their children Detached want their children to display as adults, in “appropriate moral behavior” plays an extremely no trait—not even honesty—is rated as “absolutely important role in their parenting. The vast majority essential.” (About one-third of the Detached [35 of other parents (86 percent), by contrast, say that percent] consider honesty to be “absolutely essen- it does. tial,” compared to 83 percent of other parents.) Similarly, the importance of generosity with oth- The World: So Detached parents feel at a distance ers is discounted: 6 percent of the Detached say from what is happening in their children’s schools. generosity is absolutely essential, compared to 21 High school, in particular, can become a world in percent of Engaged Progressives and 43 percent of which the tug of peer influence, from one direc- the Faithful. And the Detached downplay “volun- tion, and professional educators, from another, teering time to help others” in much the same way. seems strong enough that Detached parents find Yet when it comes to being practical, the Detached their island of parental influence eroding from all are twice as likely as the Faithful and Engaged sides. In contrast to two-thirds of the Faithful and Progressives to consider “valuing practical skills half of Engaged Progressives who believe they retain over book learning” as very important for their great parental influence after their children enter children. high school, only 29 percent of Detached parents do. And the Detached are the only family culture Knowledge about their country and the world, on that doesn’t reject the statement “parents today are the other hand, doesn’t matter much. Only one- in a losing battle with all of the other influences out third of the Detached say it is “very important” for there.” More than most parents, they disagree with their children to become knowledgeable, compared the idea that “this is a great time to be bringing to a solid majority of other parents (60 percent). The children into the world.” Their story, in a word, is Detached are also less insistent that their children one of influence lost. 28 Culture of American Families

Figure 9 — The Detached’s Connections with Parents of Children’s Friends.

More than Half

Less than Half

About Half

Proportion of Friends’ Parents They Feel They Know Well

Other things too seem foreign to Detached par- Faith: The lack of confidence that the Detached dis- ents. They are more inclined than other parents to play in their parenting also creeps into other areas. say that greater ethnic diversity has been bad for Consider that while 6 of every 10 Detached parents our society. Nearly 4 out of 5 (78 percent) say they (59 percent) say they have no doubts about God’s know half or fewer of the parents of their children’s existence and another 22 percent say they believe close friends. And unlike friends of previous gener- in spite of occasional doubts, when we ask them to ations who could be sent home when parents chose, elaborate, the devil is in the details. For instance, these friends linger, becoming invisible “strangers 7 out of 10 (70 percent) attend religious services in the house,” electronically tethered for better or once a month or less, and half say they pray once a worse to the children. Our data suggest too that week or less. As would be expected, these personal this is more true for the Detached than for Engaged patterns are repeated in Detached parents’ interac- Progressives and the Faithful; only 37 percent of tions with their children. For instance, 70 percent the Detached believe they actually have the power have prayer or devotions with their children once to control a teenager’s access to technology, while a month or less, and about two-thirds (64 per- nearly twice as many of the Faithful (66 percent) cent) rarely, if ever, speak with their children about think that they can. In this sense, the faith of the matters of faith. Over half (54 percent) say their Faithful extends beyond religion: they share a sense children rarely, if ever, attend church. Only one- of parental efficacy with the Engaged Progressives third consider it very important that their children that the Detached clearly lack. become persons of strong religious faith. Perhaps Executive Report 29

most telling is the assessment of Detached parents In short, American Dreamers are engaged parents, of the importance of their own faith: only a third have some sense that “a mother knows” that “kids will (34 percent) rate it as very important, compared to be kids,” and have high hopes for what their children 56 percent of all other parents and 95 percent of will eventually become in the realm of character and the Faithful. otherwise. Compared to the Detached, the optimism and engagement of American Dreamers are clearly progressive in the sense that American Dreamers not American Dreamers—27 Percent of only look upon the future with optimism, but they American Parents are also hopeful that their efforts will reap relational and material dividends for their families. An Overview The Specifics American Dreamers also occupy a middle ground between the religious convictions of the Faithful Background Profile:Of all our family cultures, the and the “enlightened” convictions of the Engaged American Dreamers is the only one to have a major- Progressives. And, while they are more religiously ity representation of minorities. One quarter (26 involved than the Detached, they are also more affirm- percent) of American Dreamer parents are Hispanic, ing of a live-and-let-live morality. Many American 22 percent are black, and 7 percent claim some other Dreamers—about half—are black minority designation. Only 46 (22 percent) or Hispanic (26 per- percent are white. Their lev- cent). Socioeconomically, they els of education and income This is why we call them fare little better than the primarily are very similar to those of the white Detached. About 1 in 4 live “American Dreamers”: Detached. Nearly half of the below the poverty line and about insofar as their children American Dreamers (44 percent) half (52 percent) have house- are concerned, they hope have received no formal educa- hold income below $50,000. In for much and invest even tion beyond high school, while the same way, most (75 percent) more, pouring themselves only one quarter has 4-year col- have less than a college degree fully into their families’ lege degrees. Just over half (52 and just 8 percent have some percent) have family incomes futures. kind of graduate degree. Despite below $50,000 a year, while only such disadvantages, their aspira- 15 percent have family incomes tions for their children’s futures above $100,000 (compared to couldn’t be more distinct from the Detached. This is 32 percent of Engaged Progressives). Geographically, why we call them “American Dreamers”: insofar as American Dreamers are distributed much like the their children are concerned, they hope for much and Faithful, with large concentrations in the South (44 invest even more, pouring themselves fully into their percent, compared to 33 percent of other parents) and families’ futures. few living in the Western states (17 percent, compared to 27 percent of other parents). In the case of American Dreamers, however, “family” looks a little different. Structurally, it often departs Politically, they are less partisan than Engaged from the nuclear family model. Single parenthood Progressives or the Faithful, but they do lean more is common, but so are thick webs of connection toward the political stance of the former than the lat- within extended families. Whatever the form of fam- ter. Some 36 percent claim to be Democrats and 26 ily, American Dreamers understand that parents are percent to be Republican, while 38 percent say they the agents who make and enforce family rules, even are Independent or express no party identification though they also expect that children will test them. at all. It follows that American Dreamer parents are And when they do, American Dreamers are as quick nearly twice as likely as the Detached to say they will to spank or scold as they are to praise or reward good support President Obama in 2012, with 37 percent behavior. saying they will vote for him, compared to 21 percent of the Detached. Yet even though a “blue” political 30 Culture of American Families

tilt typifies this family culture, the tilt is closely con- parents alone (for 34 percent), or living with a partner nected to its racial and ethnic composition. Consider, (for 22 percent). Among the Detached, on the other for instance, that whites among American Dreamers hand, being unmarried more commonly means living are much less supportive of President Obama (13 together with a partner (41 percent), but less often percent) than blacks (92 percent). We must not, denotes a solitary parent who has never married (16 therefore, think of culture as free floating or discon- percent). Unmarried parents are disproportionately nected from the social and economic circumstances women, so the ratio of women to men among the in which it occurs. At the same time, we should not American Dreamers is higher than for other parents write it off as a mere reflection or artifact of those in our study. All of these patterns are connected to same circumstances. the heavy concentration of ethnic minorities among the American Dreamers, as is the reality that there Family Structures: Like their racial and ethnic com- are more unmarried women (29 percent of all the position, the American Dreamers’ family structures American Dreamers) than in any other family culture. differ from those of other parents. Less than two- In fact, over half of the black parents among American thirds (64 percent) are currently married, compared Dreamers (53 percent) are unmarried women. to 76 percent of other parents. This relatively low proportion of married couples is similar only to the Family Life: Like all family cultures except the Detached, but what it means to be “unmarried” in the Faithful, most American Dreamers (66 percent) have two cases differs. For the American Dreamers, being lived with a romantic partner outside of marriage, unmarried means being divorced or separated (for 39 and like the Detached, they say this trend is bad for percent), being someone who has never married and society. Even though over half (55 percent) are still

Figure 10 — Perception that Parental Influence Is Stronger Than “Other Influences Out There7” by Family Cultures.

20 In3luence Is Stronger

10 Percent Who Believe Parents’

0 The Faithful Engaged Progressives The Detached American Dreamers Family Cultures Executive Report 31

married to their first spouse, the proportion is lower percent) of the Detached. Yet even with this heavy level than for the Engaged Progressives and the Faithful. At of investment, American Dreamer parents are inclined some point in their lives, over a quarter of American to think they should be doing more. Dreamers (27 percent) have divorced. In short, their family patterns are variegated with more departures Basic Hope and Optimism: Beyond what it says about from the nuclear family archetype than among other their daily activities, the investment of the American family cultures. Dreamers in their children is a reflection of something deeper, something at the core of their cultural makeup. As a consequence, the number of American Dreamers They live and breathe a faith and hope that things will who say they have “no real support network” is some- be better. They are nearly twice as likely to say their what higher than for other family cultures—nearly children’s generation will have greater opportuni- 1 in 5 (19 percent). Yet it would be misleading to ties than their own, than to say they will have fewer. conclude that this represents the Compared to other parents, they prevailing pattern. Rather, most are more likely to say that “public American Dreamers claim to be schools these days have a positive When push comes to “fairly well” (20 percent) or “very impact upon our nation’s chil- well” (26 percent) supported by a shove, many American dren.” And their optimism is network of family and friends. It Dreamers are “softies,” contagious, at least within their is true that because of the num- wanting to remain on good families: nearly half (48 percent) ber of unmarried, more American terms with their children say their children have “very posi- Dreamers (19 percent) receive even as they seek to point tive” attitudes toward school, and “no support at all” from a spouse them in the right direction. most of the rest (37 percent) than among other parents (11 say their children’s attitudes are percent), but they make up for “mostly positive.” Their faith in it in other ways. They are more the power of education is unri- likely, for example, to receive support from extended valed. Virtually all American Dreamer parents (92 family members and from other sources in the com- percent) say it is very important, if not essential, that munity than are Engaged Progressives. Indeed, their their children become highly educated, compared to pattern of parenting is less autonomous in general, for 71 percent of other parents. Similarly, 92 percent say a variety of cultural and socioeconomic reasons. being “smart” or “intelligent” is very important, compared to 75 percent of other parents. Children: Educationally and economically, American Dreamers find themselves in similar circumstances to Faith: Their religious faith, however, is another matter. the Detached. So why not combine the two? Because, By traditional standards of religiosity, they are more while their economic situation may be similar, their religious than the Detached, and much more reli- cultural response to that situation differs dramati- gious than the Engaged Progressives. Yet the picture cally. Take their expressed level of investment in their is mixed. Four out of 5 (81 percent) express complete children. American Dreamers are twice as likely as certainty that God exists, and roughly two-thirds (63 the Detached (61 percent compared to 28 percent) percent) say religion is very important in their lives. to express clearly that they invest heavily in provid- Even so, unlike the Faithful, few American Dreamers ing opportunities to give their children a competitive (16 percent) say religion is “the most important thing advantage down the road. Similarly, 85 percent express in my life.” This parallels their thinking about their clearly that they invest heavily in shaping their chil- parenting purposes. Nearly two-thirds cite “raising dren’s moral character, compared to just 49 percent of children whose lives will reflect God’s will and pur- the Detached. And the American Dreamers, who seem pose” as one of their primary goals, yet roughly a third particularly worried that predators, drugs, and other (36 percent) call it their top priority. Just as many (35 risks might threaten their children’s future, also express percent) say their top priority is offering “the kind of clearly that they invest heavily in protecting their chil- love and affection that will nurture happiness, posi- dren from negative social influences; 7 of every 10 (68 tive feelings about themselves, and warm relationships percent) say they do so, compared to just a third (33 with others.” 32 Culture of American Families

Therapeutic Morality: This signals the therapeutic Even so, American Dreamers express a greater will- sensibility that is common among the American ingness than other parents to use discipline to correct Dreamers. Three-quarters (74 percent), for example, their children’s misbehavior. Nearly two-thirds (64 say that “the greatest moral virtue is to be honest percent), for instance, say that imposing “time-outs” about your feelings and desires”; fewer than 1 in 10 and sending children to their rooms are very impor- (9 percent) reject this moral tenet. Nearly 9 of every tant corrective tools (compared to 42 percent of other 10 (86 percent) list becoming “loving” as an “abso- parents). And over half (57 percent) say that scolding lutely essential” quality for their children, compared or speaking in a strong voice is an important corrective to just half (50 percent) of other parents. Half of (compared to 35 percent of other parents). American the American Dreamers say that “what their per- Dreamers, though, are not big spankers. Just under sonal experience teaches them” or what “feels right a quarter say that spanking is relied upon as a very to them personally” is the most believable authority important way to correct misbehavior; they gener- in matters of truth, compared to just a third who ally reserve it for rare situations when “nothing else point to scripture, prayer, or the counsel of religious seems to work.” In fact, a gap exists between the way leaders. Most say that “sharing information and American Dreamers classify “spanking” and the way emotions freely with children” describes their par- they classify the “threat of spanking.” Spanking itself enting approach better than “preserving clear parent/ is strongly endorsed by only a quarter of American child boundaries.” And why? In the end, they are Dreamers, yet the threat of spanking is rated as very more likely than any other family culture to say, “I important by twice that many (50 percent). This hope to be best friends with my children when they gap suggests that when push comes to shove, many are grown.” Four out of 5 American Dreamers (82 American Dreamers are “softies,” wanting to remain percent) agree with this statement, compared to 69 on good terms with their children even as they seek to percent of other parents. point them in the right direction. Executive Report 33

Thoughts for Practitioners

The Reality Gap—“Not My Kids” that they have succeeded as parents. Their children, in a word, are a mirror unto themselves. It may be that the biggest barrier to intervention with troubled kids or kids engaged in high-risk behavior is These ideas are at least worth considering in light of their parents. Parents worry about all sorts of challenges our data. To the extent that parents are out of touch to their children’s development and vitality, but they with their children’s problems, it is clearly a problem for have difficulty admitting to their children’s problems, practitioners who work with parents and families. It has preferring more optimistic assessments of their own also long been a problem for teachers who find parents family. It is no wonder that birth control for teenagers increasingly unwilling to acknowledge their children’s remains controversial nationally when so many parents wrongdoings in school settings. believe their own children have no need for it. The same can be said of alcohol abuse, drug use, obesity, and other The Quandary of the New Therapeutic risky behaviors. In short, for all of their worry and con- Familism cern, American parents may actually be less concerned than they should be. Many scholars have described this pattern in the modern American family. Its roots, in fact, trace back well The gap between our study’s findings regarding parental over a century. Our study merely confirms that the perceptions of children, and data on children nation- new therapeutic familism is pervasive nationally, cut- wide from other sources, may stem from several things. ting across class, race, ethnicity, and faith. It points to a Parents may be so emotionally tied to their children transformation in the nature of parental authority and that they lose the capacity for clear assessment of their a transformation in the nature of child rearing in which children’s troubles. This may stem in part from chil- the identities and roles of parents and children have dren selectively disclosing only what they believe their become blurred. Spending time with children “at their parents want to hear. Beyond shielding themselves as level” has taken the place of teaching, guiding, and disci- children from their parents’ disapproval, children may pline, which are the more traditional forms of American also want to protect their parents from the pain of parenting. disappointment. There is a range of unintended consequences. At an age It could also be that over-invested parents derive so when all sources of authority (institutional and indi- much of their personal identity from parenting that they vidual) suffer erosions of legitimacy for both structural cannot admit to themselves that their children may be and cultural reasons, a generation of children is being merely average, or even below average in some respects. raised with equivocal authority within their own homes. Indeed, the boundaries may have blurred to the point Many parents are less confident in authoritarian forms that any admission of a child’s deficiency, or that a child of discipline, and as traditional authority relationships is to blame for a negative incident, becomes a confes- weaken, they turn to constant communication and close sion of their own deficiency or blame as parents. By the relationships to influence their children. Parents walk same token, their children, as extensions of themselves, the fine line of wanting to be strict, but also wanting to must succeed because their children’s successes signal be close friends and confidants of their children. 34 Culture of American Families

The Relative Autonomy of Parents The Need for Safety

By and large, whether by choice or by constraint, Today’s parents are hypersensitive about the risks and most parents are “going it alone.” They find support dangers that might befall their children. Most of them from their spouse or partner, and among single par- do want to be able to give their children more free- ents, from their extended family. They do not turn to dom to play and socialize with other children, but their neighbors for parenting support, and only small they lack the resources to do so. Parents report find- numbers, relatively speaking, turn to local institu- ing few places where they can comfortably let their tions such as faith communities and after-school children play freely. This is not only a stress factor for programs. Nevertheless, most say they have the sup- parents, but it is physically and emotionally unhelpful port they need. For those who do find support in for children to miss out on free play with their friends. after-school programs, it is extremely important to them. The same can be said for those who look The Significance of Family Culture for support in their church, synagogue, temple, or mosque. The support that these institutions provide The dominant ways in which we think and talk about matters greatly. the moral life in American society is through the language and concepts of psychology. It is the leading There is a small but significant minority, however, that way in which we think about the moral formation of is disconnected from any meaningful support system the young and the role of teachers and schools. By and, among these, many who need help. Community extension, it is through the language and concepts of groups and organizations must consider more inten- psychology that we think about moral leadership in tional ways to reach beyond the families they are politics, business, and social movements. The premise currently serving. The social institutions and extended of this paradigm is that moral qualities of goodness families that once supported parents are now largely and character reside within individuals and that these absent from their lives, leaving them without clear qualities simply need to be “called out” into expres- maps. As one mother we intervewed noted, “without sion in the decisions made by individuals. Added all guidance, it really makes you feel that you’re driving together, these individual decisions constitute the with a blindfold.” basis of a good society.

The Challenge of Technology Psychology is clearly one important component of the moral life of individuals and communities, but it is Many parents feel their attempts to control the home not the only component. The moral life of individuals and to keep external influences at bay are nearly futile is also very much a reflection of the moral life of the in the face of new communication and entertainment community in which those individuals live. As schol- technologies. These technologies introduce a host of arship concludes, to achieve a formation of healthy unknown and often unwelcomed influences into the young people of good character presupposes a culture private space of the home. The overriding concern is that expresses and embodies the qualities that make the negative influence that parents are unable to keep up good character. If, for whatever reason, the culture out. Many feel helpless in the face of these technolo- of a local institution or community does not express gies and uncertain about how, or if, to limit them. and embody a vision of health and goodness, then it will be impossible to form individuals—especially the The genie of these new technologies cannot be put young—in the same way. In formation, it is the culture back in the bottle. The question, rather, is how to and the community that gives shape and expression to it gain some modicum of control over the family’s use that is the key. Healthy formation is impossible with- of them. Some resources are available, though to our out a healthy culture embedded within the warp and knowledge, they are not widely known. But even woof of family and community. so, this will continue to be an area that calls for new ideas—ideas that many parents would be eager to put It is true that the seedbeds of virtue are found within to use. many overlapping domains that would include the school, peer relationships, places of worship, the Executive Report 35

internet, and popular culture, but most important of configuration of moral beliefs, values, and dispositions all is the family and its culture. Family culture acts as and are largely independent of basic demographic fac- a filter for the larger culture, and its role in forming tors, such as race, ethnicity, and social class. Though character ideals among the young is fundamental and largely invisible, these family cultures are powerful. irreducible to other factors. Whether or not parents They constitute the worlds that children are raised in are deliberate about it, they create a moral ecology and, therefore, are crucial elements for understanding through which children come to understand and the moral life of children and their families. internalize the moral life of the larger world. It is, therefore, important that practitioners, schools, The four family cultures distinguished in our inves- and other social support systems become aware of the tigation—the Faithful, the Engaged Progressives, nature and characteristics of family cultures in order the Detached, and the American Dreamers—are not to understand their particular perspectives, orienta- merely reflections of collective psychology. They are tions, motivations, and possibilities, but also their defined, as we noted, by more than mere parenting barriers to support for each. styles. As cultures, they are constituted by a complex 36 Culture of American Families

Endnotes

1 Robert Wuthnow, “The Family as Contested Terrain,” in Steven M. Tipton and John Witte, Jr. (eds) Family Transformed: Religion, Values and Society in American Life (Washington, DC: Georgetown University Press, 2005), 73. 2 Peter N. Stearns, Anxious Parents: A History of Modern Childrearing in America (New York: New York University Press, 2004). 3 “Overweight” is children, ages 2 to 19, with a BMI at or above the 85th percentile. “Obese” is children, ages 2 to 19, with a BMI at or above the 95th percentile. Data is from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey 2007–2008, conducted by the National Center for Health Statistics of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Data is reported in Cynthia L. Ogden, Margaret D. Carroll, Lester R. Curtin, Molly M. Lamb, and Katherine M. Flegal, “Prevalence of High Body Mass Index in US Children and Adolescents, 2007–2008,” Journal of the American Medical Association 303 (2010): 242-249. 4 Culture of American Families: “Overweight” is children described by their parents as “somewhat overweight” or “greatly overweight.” National Center for Health Statistics: “Overweight” is children, ages 2 to 19, with a BMI at or above the 85th percentile. Data is from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey 2007–2008, conducted by the National Center for Health Statistics of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Data is reported in Cynthia L. Ogden, Margaret D. Carroll, Lester R. Curtin, Molly M. Lamb, and Katherine M. Flegal, “Prevalence of High Body Mass Index in US Children and Adolescents, 2007–2008,” Journal of the American Medical Association 303 (2010): 242-249. 5 It is important to keep in mind that these findings pertain to the percent of parents reporting such occurrences among their children, not the percent of American children; even so, the numbers attest to issues that a substantial number of American families are wrestling with in the culture of contemporary parenting. 6 Here “Family with Diagnosed Child” and “Diagnosed Child” refers to any family that has at least one child who has been clinically diagnosed with Attention Deficiet Disorder (A.D.D.), Attention Deficiet Hyperactivity Disorder (A.D.H.D.), or an anxiety or depressive disorder. 7 This figure represents the percent of parents who disagreed with the following statement: Parents today are in a losing battle with all of the other influences out there. Research Team Advisory Board

Carl Desportes Bowman, PhD, Director of Richard Arum, PhD, Professor of Sociology, Survey Research, Institute for Advanced Steinhardt School of Education, New York Studies in Culture, University of Virginia. University, and Director of the Education Research Program, Social Science Research James Davison Hunter, PhD, Executive Council. Director, Institute for Advanced Studies in Culture, and LaBrosse-Levinson Laura Desportes, PhD, Associate Professor Distinguished Professor of Religion, Culture, and Academic Unit Head, Department of and Social Theory, University of Virginia. Exceptional Education, James Madison University. Jeffrey S. Dill, PhD, Co-Director of the Agora Institute and Research Assistant Professor of Amita Gupta, EdD, Associate Professor of Social Thought, Eastern University. Education, The City University of New York.

Ashley Rogers Berner, DPhil, Co-Director of Lisa Miller, PhD, Director of Clinical the Moral Foundations of Education Project, Psychology and Associate Professor of Institute for Advanced Studies in Culture, Psychology and Education, Teachers College, University of Virginia. Columbia University.

Joseph E. Davis, PhD, Director of Research, Murray Milner, Jr., PhD, Senior Fellow, Institute for Advanced Studies in Culture, Institute for Advanced Studies in Culture, and Research Associate Professor of and Professor Emeritus of Sociology, Sociology, University of Virginia. University of Virginia.

Tony Tian-Ren Lin, PhD, Research Fellow, Christian Smith, PhD, William R. Kenan, Jr. Institute for Advanced Studies in Culture, Professor of Sociology and Director of the University of Virginia. Center for the Study of Religion and Society, University of Notre Dame. Megan Juelfs-Swanson, MA, Associate Fellow, Institute for Advanced Studies in Katherine T. Smith, PhD, Clinical Culture, and Research Assistant, Culture psychologist working in Northern Virginia. of American Families Project, University of Virginia. Peter N. Stearns, PhD, Provost and Professor of History, George Mason University.

Paul C. Vitz, PhD, Professor Emeritus of Psychology, New York University.

W. Bradford Wilcox, PhD, Director of the National Marriage Project and Associate Professor of Sociology, University of Virginia. The Institute for Advanced Studies in Culture is an interdisciplinary research center and intellectual community at the University of Virginia committed to understanding contemporary cultural change and its individual and social consequences, training young scholars, and providing intellectual leadership in service to the public good.