$3 Playground Tactics, No Rabbit-In-A-Hat Tricks $3 The Committed Indian The REal Fan’s Program blackhawksblog.blogspot.com November 9th, 2008 [email protected] THAT LAST STEP IS A BERTUZZI Is the United Center becoming a shots, which are usually prime scoring chanc- around the defensive zone like John Daly at 2 fortress? Will teams fear coming to the West es. Credit goes to the goalies for gobbling up AM than happy with his offensive production. Side? A 5-0-2 record would indicate that shots, but also to the d-men and forwards for Rene Bourque has even become a prominent very well may be the case. The Hawks roll clearing anything that may be lying around. player for the Flames, skating on their second into tonight off of a 3rd period mauling of I Went Down, Down, Down, And line and seeing -kill and power-play the currently-hapless Avalanche (if the Hawks The Flames Went Higher time. But as we all know, any team with Rene are eyeing last season’s playoff teams to see Bourque on its second line can’t be all that Tonight’s intruders are the whose spot they can take, our first nomination good. Flames, which means Mike Keenan is back in is Colorado-they’re a mess). Yes, one could town. In his second season, Keenan has been Ain’t It A Shame? To Be Down make the that Colorado was on the sec- given a team more to his liking, i.e. slobs In Flames ond of back-to-back games. But that’s easily over stars. The Flames are built to grind you Calgary always poses a struggle for countered by the fact that the Hawks were on into dust, and then win 2-1 or 3-1. Another the Hawks. They’re considerably bigger, and their third game in four nights, meaning their Keenan staple is well in effect, and that would are fast enough to not get out-skated by a legs couldn’t have been that much fresher. be playing his #1 until he vomits wide margin. The Flames will do their best to And yes, one could argue that the Hawks are a blood, a lung, and possibly a small organ- clog everything up, and keep the game along better team than Colorado, and beating them ism. Mikka Kiprusoff had played every minute the boards as much as they can -- where they is no great accomplishment. But we would for the Flames until last night. We weren’t will hold a big advantage over the smaller say that the way the Hawks so easily pimp- even sure this Curtis McElhinney -- the Hawks. However, despite the 7- outburst slapped the Avs aside in the last 20 minutes backup -- existed until he started last night vs. Nashville, the Flames are thin on scoring, are exactly what a good team does to inferior in Columbus. There may be signs that Kipper and if the Hawks can limit turnovers and mis- opposition. (What a lively debate, considering is already feeling fatigued, as he gave up 6 takes, they shouldn’t face too many chances we’re arguing with imaginary people!) to Nashville in a cartoon of a game Thursday created by Calgary. Though they currently Our favorite moment of Monday night. Hopefully, that’s the Kipper we’ll see rank 7th in scoring, the Flames don’t have night wasn’t any of the goals, but rather a tonight. that much offensive imagination. Another two-minute passage midway through the But that isn’t to say that the Flames Keenan staple is at work with the Flames, and 3rd, when Kane, Toews, and Havlat put on don’t come in…well…hot. (Ugh, we really that is, like Ron Jeremy, they can’t stay out of a Globetrotter-like display. Not only did didn’t want to write that) They’ve won 7 of the box. They’re 3rd worst in the league, and Colorado not come close to clearing the zone, 10, and are getting contributions from odd they took 12 penalties last night. They were they didn’t even come close to touching the sources. Douchebag/monster Todd Bertuzzi also extremely sloppy in their own zone. Let’s puck. Hawks fans responded with a minute- is second on the team with 7 goals. How- see that again. long standing ovation. (Which brings us to a ever, Flames fans are angrier at his wandering -The Merry Pranksters sidenote: Dear UC scoreboard operators, piss off with your “Let’s make some noise!” graph- ics. We know exactly when to get loud, when our team needs our support, and when our appreciation is deserved. We aren’t a bunch of Deerfield shitbags hoping to catch a t-shirt from an ugly-ass Luv-a-Bull. [Yes, we know, ugly-ass Luv-a-Bull is redundant] Give us some respect.) Our second favorite moment came after Hejduk scored to cut the Hawks lead to 3-2, the Hawks responded with their best hockey of the night. Last season--even earli- er this on-- we would have seen some jitters. Clearly this is a team playing with confidence, judging by their, “You’re not fucking winning this game,” attitude, and their prompt, pump- ing in of three more goals to prove the point. There’s one aspect of this year’s Hawks we found intriguing, and one of the reasons the Hawks are winning recently; Ac- cording to “On The Forecheck” (a Predators blog but also one that focuses on weird, un- known NHL stats), the Hawks are the 5th best team in the league when it comes to giving up rebound shots. Only 8% of saves made by Khabibulin and Huet are resulting in rebound Hockey Fans Can’t Be Trusted So, I’m a regular on the Blackhawks messageboard, of getting Madden for Khabibulin. Really? Yeah, the Devils but I suppose you could call me a snooper. Rarely do I post, need a goaltender. Yeah, Nik is playing well, but there’s about and mostly when I do, it’s not all that intelligent. Regardless, 6.75 million problems with that transaction for the Devils. it’s wonderful to read all the ridiculous trade garbage and sal- Come to think of it, we might as well go ahead and say that ary cap fixes sprung from a twelve pack of High Life the night for the rest of the league too. What happens when an unstop- before. To be honest, it was kind of surpris- pable force (Tallon and Bowman) meet and ing to find out that Ottawa was considering Tragically Hip Hockey immovable object (Khabi’s contract)? Um, trading Spezza, Chris Neil, and Gerber for well, NOTHING happens. Nik and Petri Kontiola. But, alas, it is true. Yeah, sure, I’ve played armchair GM Also, I didn’t know that along with Spezza, too. It’s tempting. But screamin, “Tallon’s we were also going to nab Sundin, and maybe head on a plate if we don’t score a 2nd line even Shannahan. center…,” is getting a little tedious. I know Look dudes, I’m as excited as you you likely majored in hockey operations are that people are considering Chicago a or payroll management at JJC, but shut the contender and a team to play for. I agree, fuck up and watch the game. I don’t care it’s nice to have rumors swirling this early in how many times you’ve been to the Edge to the year that don’t involve us losing our best Kevin Kujawa see them practice, or that you knew Denis players. But, people, can we temper this with was gone because you saw Marc Bergevin a little dose of…I don’t know…reality? Let’s set our sights on talking to DT outside by the Jordan statue. Your job is to a player the likes of Vermette or Mike Comrie and then when cheer when we score, not to pretend that you’re so gifted you we sign Craig Adams 2, the fall won’t be so harsh. Let’s not could run the team. Besides, Spezza’s kind of a pussy. set ourselves up for disappointment by ordering our Winter Classic jerseys with Spezza on the back just yet, o.k.? Kevin is the guitarist/singer for Mannequin Men, Chi- Cue . cago’s Most Dangerous Band. Great, now I’ll have to listen to all these bozos talk

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“I never learned to stop, why should you?” Reviving The Most Lifeless Objects Since 2006 NHL STANDINGS *late game not included Eastern Conference Western Conference

ATLANTIC W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY CENTRAL W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY NY Rangers 11 5 1 23 45 37 7-3-0 4-2-1 Scum 9 2 2 20 47 40 3-1-1 6-1-1 Pittsburgh 8 4 2 18 41 36 4-2-1 4-2-1 Columbus 7 6 2 16 46 49 5-2-1 2-4-1 New Jersey 7 4 2 16 36 33 4-2-1 3-2-1 Chicago 6 3 3 15 42 34 5-0-2 1-3-1 Philadelphia 4 6 3 11 45 47 2-4-1 2-2-2 Nashville* 6 6 1 13 44 49 5-1-0 1-5-1 NY Islanders 4 8 2 10 37 49 2-5-1 2-3-1 St. Louis 5 6 1 11 38 40 4-4-0 1-2-1

NORTHEAST W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY NORTHWEST W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY Boston 8 3 3 19 42 34 4-1-1 4-2-2 Minnesota* 8 3 1 17 33 26 3-1-1 5-2-0 Buffalo 8 3 3 19 43 33 4-2-1 4-1-2 Calgary 8 6 1 17 46 47 5-2-1 3-4-0 Montreal 8 2 2 18 43 34 4-1-0 4-1-2 Vancouver* 8 6 0 16 46 38 4-2-0 4-4-0 Toronto 6 5 4 16 47 54 3-2-3 3-3-1 6 6 1 13 34 41 2-0-1 4-6-0 Ottawa 6 6 2 14 38 35 3-4-1 3-2-1 Colorado* 5 8 0 10 38 45 3-4-0 2-4-0

SOUTHEAST W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY PACIFIC W L OTL PTS GF GA HOME AWAY Carolina 8 4 2 18 41 40 3-2-0 5-2-2 San Jose * 12 2 0 24 50 33 8-0-0 4-2-0 Washington 7 4 2 16 39 39 5-0-1 2-4-1 Anaheim 9 6 1 19 51 51 4-4-1 5-2-0 Tampa Bay 5 4 4 14 29 34 2-2-3 3-2-1 Dallas* 5 6 2 12 40 52 2-1-2 3-5-0 Atlanta 5 7 2 12 40 53 4-3-0 1-4-2 Phoenix* 5 6 0 10 25 29 3-2-0 2-4-0 Florida* 4 7 1 9 27 38 3-2-0 1-5-1 Los Angeles* 4 6 2 10 30 33 3-4-2 1-2-0

TOP 10 LIST PUCK DROP

Adrian The Groin, D, Calgary: Yet another shining moment for Dale Top 10 Reasons Girl Hawks Fans Are Tallon. However, this one wasn’t completely his fault. Aucoin, after Hotter Than Girl Bulls Fans spending the lockout doing...well, not 10. Girl Bulls fans don’t drink beer. Girl Hawks fans drink your beer. much, wasn’t up to the rigors of play- 9. Girl Bulls fans want to sit close to get on TV. Girl Hawks fans want to ing hockey again. Naturally, his groin sit close so Datsyuk will hear her call him a fag. gave out, and kept giving out. The Hawks got 92 games over two seasons 8. Nothing sexier than a woman in a Hawks jersey and nothing else. out of Aucoin, and a -35. Good times. 7. Girl Bulls fans annoy us. Girl Hawks fans scare us. After being dealt to Calgary, Aucoin 6. Girl Bulls fans make you pay for a $12 salad. Girl Hawks fans make marveled at how differently the train- ing staff there treated him, focusing on flexibility instead of you pay for bail. strength and weights, as the Hawks training staff had. The 5. Girl Bulls fans have Prada bags. Girl Hawks fans have tattoos. Flames received a full season and 35 points. We haven’t 4. Girl Bulls fans screw. Girl Hawks fans fuck. noticed much change in the Hawks training staff, but we hope 3. Pictures of the Luv-a-Bulls require blinders. Pictures of the Ice-Crew this is one of the things Scott Bowman’s “consulting” takes care of. There have been shenanigans from the trainers for require Kleenex. years, from Daze’s back to numbing Chelios’s nuts in the play- 2. Girl Bulls fans like Coldplay. Girl Hawks fans like Tool. offs, (causing him to miss a crucial Game 4 against the Avs in 1. Their ability to suck-start a lawn mower. 1996), to Aucoin’s struggles to stay healthy.

If you would like to ruin your organization’s credibility and advertise with us, please email us at [email protected] or call 773- 470-8921 6-3-3

There’s been tons of talk of Toews not getting his first goal, but we’re rooting more for Bolland to get his. Bolland has been everything we could have hoped for, skating his ass off every shift. He’s got the 3rd best +/-/60 min. on the team, according to Behind The Net. He’s constantly making things happen, and we’d like to see a goal to mark his contribution.

# Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary 10 L The Sharp-Shooter 6'1" 197 26 12 9 7 16 2 18 2 0 2 43 20.93% 3,900,000 88 R Patrick Kane 5'10" 187 19 12 6 9 15 1 4 3 0 1 38 15.79% 3,725,000 24 R Martin Havlat 6'2" 217 27 12 4 7 11 4 6 2 0 0 32 12.50% 6,000,000 32 L Kris Versteeg 5'10" 180 22 12 2 8 10 6 6 1 0 0 20 10.00% 491,667 51 D 51 Phantom 6'0" 188 29 12 2 7 9 6 0 0 0 0 20 10.00% 7,142,875 19 C Jonathan Toews 6'2" 209 20 12 0 7 7 -1 6 0 0 0 36 0.00% 2,800,000 2 D Duncan Keith 6'1" 194 25 12 2 5 7 3 6 0 0 0 23 8.70% 1,475,000 36 C Dave Bolland 6'0" 188 22 12 0 6 6 3 2 0 0 0 15 0.00% 845,833 33 R Dustin Byfuglien 6'3" 247 23 12 1 4 5 -1 7 0 0 0 24 4.17% 3,000,000 23 D Aaron Johnson 6'1" 211 25 10 2 3 5 8 4 0 0 0 5 40.00% 525,000 16 L Andrew Ladd 6'2" 198 22 12 3 2 5 2 8 0 0 0 23 13.04% 1,550,000 7 D 6'3" 220 23 12 3 2 5 0 16 1 1 0 17 17.65% 3,500,000 22 R Troy Brouwer 6'2" 213 23 6 1 3 4 3 4 0 0 0 9 11.11% 675,000 25 D Cam Barker 6'3" 213 22 4 2 1 3 0 4 2 0 1 9 22.22% 2,768,587 46 C Colin Fraser 6'1" 188 23 12 1 1 2 -1 23 0 0 0 6 16.67% 500,000 5 D Brent Sopel 6'1" 211 31 11 1 1 2 -5 2 0 0 1 7 14.29% 2,333,333 55 L Ben Eager 6'2" 220 24 8 1 0 1 -1 26 0 0 0 3 33.33% 600,000 11 R 6'1" 208 21 6 1 0 1 -2 5 0 0 0 12 8.33% 1,275,000 37 R Adam Burish 6'1" 189 25 12 0 0 0 -2 44 0 0 0 14 0.00% 712,500 28 R Craig Adams 6'0" 197 31 4 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 1 0.00% 600,000 8 D Matt Walker 6'3" 214 28 2 0 0 0 -1 5 0 0 0 2 0.00% 600,000 6 D Jordan Hendry 6'1" 194 24 8 0 0 0 -1 4 0 0 0 1 0.00% 625,000 4 D Niklas Hjalmarsson 6'2" 200 21 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.00% 643,333 Totals/Averages 6'1" 203.9 24.17 41 73 202 11 1 360 11.39% 42,686,462 Andrew, if you can roof a wrister like that, why don’t you do it more often? Actually, Ladd’s been more ef- *not on roster fective than you might think. He’s the team’s leader in Corsi Rating, which measures how many shots the Hawks attempt vs. how many opponents attempt while he’s on the ice, which basically means he’s been spending a whole lot more time in the offensive zone than the defensive. Either that or he’s been firing from between his own circles and we haven’t noticed. But we drink a lot, so that may be... # Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary 38 Cristobal Huet 6'1" 205 33 5 308 2.73 2 2 1 0 155 14 0.910 0 0 0 5,625,000 39 6'1" 209 35 7 428 2.38 4 1 2 1 209 17 0.919 0 1 2 6,750,000 Totals/Averages 6'1" 207 34 2.61 6 3 3 0 364 31 0.914 0 1 2 12,375,000 TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $56,119,795 CAP SPACE: $314,000*

*space also affected by buyouts and injured players

16 years ago, David Stern sent me to ruin the NHL. I have done every- thing I can think of to drive the core I am so close to completing the task fan away, strip hockey of all that’s Stern charged me with.... great about it, and eliminate any at- tention by the mainstream media... calgary stampede 8-6-1

We’re sure this water will seek its own level eventually, but so far, Bourque has been one of the Flames best players. He’s leading them in +/-/60. However,

he gifted the Blue Jackets their 1st goal last night with a hilarious turnover.

peciall with that -9. You could say the same for Sharp, though. od, es

Old habits die hard. ‘Tuze can’t keep this rate up, and his numbers won’t look as go # Pos Player Ht WT AGE GP G A P +/- PIM PP SH GW S S% Salary 12 R 6' 1" 207 31 15 9 10 19 -3 18 5 0 1 52 17.31% $7,000,000 13 C Mike Cammalleri 5' 9" 185 26 15 4 10 14 -2 6 2 0 1 36 11.11% $3,550,000 7 R Criminal 6' 3" 231 33 15 7 6 13 -9 14 5 0 1 30 23.33% $1,950,000 22 C 5' 10" 183 32 15 4 7 11 1 8 1 0 1 39 10.26% $4,500,000 3 D Dion Phaneuf 6' 3" 214 23 15 2 8 10 -2 19 2 0 0 62 3.23% $6,500,000 17 L Rene Bourque 6' 2" 213 26 15 3 6 9 2 29 0 0 0 32 9.38% $1,350,000 24 C Craig Conroy 6' 2" 193 37 15 3 5 8 1 16 0 1 0 21 14.29% $1,050,000 25 R David Moss 6' 3" 200 26 15 2 4 6 1 2 0 0 0 24 8.33% $550,000 20 L Curtis Glencross 6' 1" 195 25 15 2 3 5 2 10 0 0 1 18 11.11% $1,200,000 16 C Dustin Boyd 6' 0" 187 22 14 3 2 5 -5 6 1 0 1 20 15.00% $741,100 5 D Mark Giordano 6' 0" 203 25 15 0 5 5 2 11 0 0 0 21 0.00% $861,667 33 D Adrian Aucoin 6' 2" 212 35 15 2 2 4 -3 8 1 0 0 20 10.00% $4,000,000 19 C Wayne Primeau 6' 4" 225 32 14 0 4 4 -2 12 0 0 0 13 0.00% $1,400,000 29 C Brandon Prust 5' 11" 195 24 13 1 1 2 -3 49 0 0 1 5 20.00% $500,000 28 D Robyn Regehr 6' 3" 225 28 13 0 2 2 -2 10 0 0 0 14 0.00% $4,020,000 23 L Eric Nystrom 6' 1" 193 25 9 1 1 2 -1 12 0 0 0 12 8.33% $687,000 18 C Matthew Lombardi 6' 0" 198 26 8 1 1 2 -1 2 0 0 1 10 10.00% $1,816,667 6 D Cory Sarich 6' 4" 207 30 15 1 1 2 -3 17 0 0 0 10 10.00% $3,600,000 4 D James Vandermeer 6' 1" 211 28 15 0 2 2 -3 31 0 0 0 6 0.00% $2,300,000 27 R Andre Roy 6' 4" 229 33 3 1 0 1 1 17 0 0 0 2 50.00% $550,000 55 D Adam Pardy 6' 2" 206 24 2 0 0 0 -2 0 0 0 0 0 0.00% $500,000

Totals/Averages 6'2" 205.33 28.14 46 80 -31 297 17 1 447 10.59% $48,626,434 -

Look, we’ll never date anyone who comes close to looking like Elisha Cuthbert, which never date anyone who we’ll Look, little weird, be a That’s gotta Avery just did? But going somewhere Sean Phaneuf is. right?

# Goalie HT WT AGE GPI Min GAA W L OT SO SA GA Sv% G A PIM Salary 34 6' 1" 184 32 14 840 3.14 8 5 1 1 418 44 0.895 0 0 2 5,833,333 1 Curtis McElhinney 6' 2" 193 25 1 60 3.00 0 1 0 0 28 3 0.892 0 0 0 500,000 Totals/Averages 6'1" 189 28 15 900 3.07 8 6 1 1 446 47 0.893 0 0 2 6,333,333 TOTAL CAP NUMBER: $54,049,167 CAP SPACE: $1,883,000* *space also affected by buyouts and injured players **stats do not include last night’s game

...IS THIS THE YEAR?

The Fight Card

HAWKS vs. FLAMES

GAME FIGHT TIME Bloody Black Bruised Just Analysis Nose Eye Ego Dancing 3-16-08 Burish v. 1st. A straight-right from Burish rocks Nystrom to Nystrom 3:10 sleep, sending him down faster than the GOP. √ √ KO for our hero. 2-7-08 C. Adams v. 2nd. Like a cougar on the prowl on Rush St., Hale 12:07 Adams invites 3 Flames to dance on one √ shift, Hale finally accepts. Not much results. Draw. 2-7-08 Burish v. Square dance. Smith √ 2-6-07 Seabrook v. 1st. Solid bout, as two Western Canadian boys Phaneuf 5:08 show us how they bond out there. Strange √ √ to see Phaneuf fight anyone near his size, Fight Stats provided by though.Hockeyfights.com Fight Stats provided by Hockeyfights.com What To Watch For: Any Keenan team certainly comes with a chip (or six) on their collective shoulder. Hell, these guys are probably pissed they have to share a plane with the dude. The main antagonist has been rookie Brandon Prust, who leads with 6 fights this season. Other than that, the Flames have been spreading around their pugilistic duties, with Iginla, Phaneuf, Nystrom, and even Rene Bourque once dropping the gloves. (insert spitting out drink here) Nystrom may want to avenge his paddling at the hands of Burish, and there’s a possibility, given the Flames general nastiness, of one or two more. Power Play Ranks* Penalty Kill Ranks* *not including last night’s games *not including last night’s games TEAM PPG PPO PCT TEAM PPG PPO PCT TEAM TSH PPGA PCT TEAM TSH PPGA PCT Detroit 17 51 33.3 Vancouver 13 74 17.6 Minnesota 36 3 91.7 Anaheim 60 12 80.0 St. Louis 15 55 27.3 Carolina 11 65 16.9 NY Rangers 57 5 91.2 Detroit 54 11 79.6 Philadelphia 14 57 24.6 Colorado 11 65 16.9 CHICAGO 49 5 89.8 Tampa Bay 54 11 79.6 Buffalo 16 72 22.2 Phoenix 7 42 16.7 Los Angeles 52 6 88.5 Philadelphia 49 10 79.6 CALGARY 16 72 22.2 Nashville 11 67 16.4 Buffalo 54 7 87.0 Columbus 34 7 79.4 Boston 11 50 22 Tampa Bay 8 50 16 Pittsburgh 45 6 86.7 Vancouver 58 12 79.3 Ottawa 14 64 21.9 Dallas 10 63 15.9 Ottawa 51 7 86.3 Boston 45 10 77.8 CHICAGO 11 52 21.2 NY Rangers 13 82 15.9 San Jose 43 6 86.0 Nashville 53 12 77.4 Minnesota 11 54 20.4 San Jose 11 72 15.3 Montreal 57 8 86.0 Dallas 53 12 77.4 Pittsburgh 12 59 20.3 NY Islanders 9 60 15 St. Louis 38 6 84.2 New Jersey 43 10 76.7 Anaheim 13 64 20.3 New Jersey 7 47 14.9 Phoenix 59 10 83.0 Edmonton 49 12 75.5 Toronto 12 64 18.8 Washington 8 54 14.8 CALGARY 51 9 82.4 Florida 57 14 75.4 Atlanta 12 64 18.8 Los Angeles 9 63 14.3 NY Islanders 54 10 81.5 Colorado 56 14 75.0 Edmonton 10 56 17.9 Columbus 9 70 12.9 Carolina 71 14 80.3 Toronto 51 13 74.5 Montreal 10 56 17.9 Florida 5 49 10.2 Washington 45 9 80.0 Atlanta 35 9 74.3 Spotlight Iggy

If Gary Bettman had any clue what he was doing, Jarome Iginla--not Sidney Crosby--would be the face of the game. (it’s at this point that Dan Rather would point out that if a frog had pockets he’d carry a gun and wouldn’t fear blacksnakes, but we digress) Iginla is the Metallica song that hockey should be, not the Justin Timberlake song that Bettman so wishes it was. (pre-1991 Metallica, not the utter garbage you hear from them today) Iginla is big, fast, highly skilled, a leader, a hit- ter, and he will pound your pretty face to hell if you look at him funny. He is everything we love about hockey. If he played in any of the major markets in the Eastern Conference, instead of the outpost that is Calgary, we’re sure he’d be plastered on any ad or promo the NHL could get him on. Iginla is this decade’s leading scorer, and when you look at the centers he has played with, you realize he’s been doing it on his own, for the most part, and against opponents’ best checkers, as he’s always been Calgary’s main threat by a mile. Craig Conroy, Daymond Langkow, and an under-developed are pretty much the highlights. Jarome has also consistently showed up when it matters most, as in the 2004 playoffs, where he was pretty much the lone offensive threat and still guided his team to one game short of winning the Cup. In the 20 playoff games since then he’s thrown up 21 points. Iggy has struggled of late, going through a 5-game goal drought. Yet he’s still the Flames’ leading scorer. Iginla is the player that every opposing fan watches and wishes that their team had...and every community. There are dozens, if not hundreds, of stories of Iginla being ridiculously generous with his time for fans and kids, to go along with his ample charity work. Unfortunately, it seems Iginla is destined to only be appreciated by core hockey fans, and not by the entire sports universe, which is hockey’s loss. KNOW THY ENEMY Tonight, Kent from Five Hole Fanatics (fiveholefanat- Q: Please tell us you haven’t bought in to Rene Borque.... ics.blogspot.com) takes some time to give us the low-down on A: I have. (HA! FOOOLS! -ED) I dont know what his repu- the Flames. tation was in Chicago, but I really like the guy. He has hands of stone, but his speed and forechecking have proven to be Q: So what’s the clock that counts down when the team pretty valuable assets the first dozen games. He plays on both tunes out Mike Keenan currently standing at? the PK and PP and doesn’t get scored on too often at 5on5. For A: Good question. It looked to be ticking down to it’s final $1.3M, he looks a steal of a deal. seconds when the team started 1-3-1, but the reversal of for- tunes has stayed his execution. Sutter got rid of two players the Q: The Flames won 6 in a row last month, what was the coach hated (Tanguay, Huselius) this summer and brought in biggest reason why? more “Keenan friendly” players (see - Todd Bertuzzi). I think A: Three primary reasons: 1.) Soft schedule. The Flames oppo- that added some time to the clock. In the end, I think things will nents during the streak were: Washington, Nashville, Phoenix, depend on results. The management and coaching staff are on a Colorado, Boston and Los Angeles. A couple of bottom feeders short leash this season and are expected to get results. If things and nary an elite opponent in sight. 2.) Miikka Kiprusoff. He start going badly, I can imagine the environment in the room was dreadful for the first five or so games, but seemed to get turning poisonous, hastening Keenan’s eventual firing. If not, in a groove during that span. 3.) Improved forward depth. he should stick around till then end of his contract (one year left Calgary has cobbled together some decent lines behind their after this one I believe). primary guns (Iginla, Bertuzzi). Calgary’s third unit of Boyd, Moss and Glencross have been particularly effective, while Q: Can Kiprusoff still handle all the minutes Keenan seems Mike Cammalleri is second on the team in points. Speaking of intent on giving him this season? which... A: Hard to say. Kipper has been a work horse since he became the Flames starter, but Keenan’s reliance on him has been pretty Q: We thought Cammalleri was an astute pick-up this sum- excessive thus far. Only time - and results - will tell, but I mer, has it been that way thus far into the season? know I’d be far more at ease if the back-up got a start now and A: So far, so good. Cammalleri has played on the “second then. line” with Daymond Langkow and has quietly been effective at both ends of the ice. He’s been very efficient at scoring at both Q: Hawks fans turned on Vandermeer after a while, when even-strength and the power play and hasn’t been a defensive his play wasn’t nearly as nasty and tough as it used to be. liability. If he ever starts playing with Jarome Iginla with any Has he rediscovered that in ? kind of regularity, his point totals will be even better. A: Vandermeer has actually been decent during his limited time here. He gets to play with Dion Phaneuf at even-strength, Q: Does it rile your rivals in Edmonton, and delight you, which helps, but he’s also been fairly consistent in the nasty that three of your most important players, Phaneuf, Iginla play/willing to drop gloves department. My only complaint and Langkow, are from Edmonton? with Vandermeer is his cap hit, which I think is a tad too high A: Yes. And yes. Although both parties will tend to you use ($2.3M). That’s not really his fault, however. just about any leverage to rile the other.

Hawks-Flames: the Last 4

Mar. 16th, 2008: Flames 4, Hawks 2 Feb. 7th 2008: Hawks 3, Flames 1 Completeing 4 victories for the road team in the Khabibulin hangs his voodoo sign over the Flames season series, the Flames score 3 unanswered in the once again, making 28 saves. Keith and Sharp score 2nd period, then hold on after being outshot 17-5 for the Hawks, Yanic Perreault adds empty-netter. in the third period. Loss puts major dent in Hawks Which is pretty much all he added last season. doomed playoff push.

Dec. 8th, 2007: Flames 3, Hawks 2 Nov. 22nd, 2007: Hawks 2, Flames 1 Cory Sarich and Daymond Langkow score 3rd Hawks manage all of 14 shots, but get two unas- period goals to break a 1-1 tie, and Kiprusoff turns sisted, short-handed goals from Dowell and The away 18 of 19 3rd period shots. Which sounds Sharp Shooter, and steal one out of Western . exactly like what happened later in March. Man, Flames fans demand their money back. were these games dull. The Making of The Chicago Blackhawks

YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT 2008-2009 Brian Campbell (BUF 6th round 1997 Cristobal Huet (LA 7th round 2001) Matt Walker (STL 3rd round 1998) Aaron Johnson (CLB 3rd round 2001) 2007-2008 Patrick Kane (1st round) Ben Eager (PHO 1st round 2002) from PHI for Brent Sopel (VAN 6th round 1995) Jim Vandermeer (FA PHI 2000) Craig Adams (HAR 9th round 1996) from CAR for future considerations. Andrew Ladd (CAR 1st round 2004) from CAR for Tuomo Ruutu (CHI 1st round 2001) 2006-2007 Jonathan Toews (1st round) Martin Havlat (OTT 1st round 1999) from OTT and Bryan Smolinski (BOS 1st round 1990) for Tom Preissing (FA SJ 2003), Josh Hennessy (SJ 2nd round 2003) and Michael Barinka (CHI 2nd round 2003) Kris Versteeg (BOS 5th round 2004) from BOS for Brandon Bochenski (OTT 7th round 2001) 2005-2006 Patrick Sharp (PHI 3rd round 2001) from PHI for Nikolai Khabibulin (WIN 9th round 1992) Matt Ellison (CHI 4th round 2002) and CHI 3rd round pick 2006 2004-2005 Cam Barker (1st round) Dave Bolland (2nd round) Troy Brouwer (7th round) 2003-2004 Brent Seabrook (1st round) Colin Fraser (PHI 3rd round 2003), Jim Vander- Dustin Byfuglien (8th round) meer (PHI FA 2000) and 2004 2nd round pick from PHI for Alex Zhamnov and 2004 4th round pick (WIN 4th round 1990) 2002-2003 Duncan Keith (2nd round) (5th round) Adam Burish (9th round) info in part provided by hockeyreference.com

GM HISTORY COACHES (2005-Present) Head Coach- Bob Pulford (Too Fucking Long, Too Many Fuck- Assistant Coach-John Torchetti ing Times) Assistant Coach-Mike Haviland Assistant Coach- Marc Bergevin Mike Smith (2001-2004) Goaltending Coach-Stephane Waite Bob Murray (1999-2000)

Bringing College station I know more Production values to HD than Jiggetts. The Making of The

YEAR DRAFT TRADE FREE AGENT 2008-2009 (LA 2nd round 2001) from LA for 2008 1st Todd Bertuzzi (NYI 1st round 1993) round pick. Rene Bourque (CHI Undrafted FA 2004) Curtis Glencross (ANA Undrafted FA 2004) Andre Roy (BOS 6th round 1994) 2007-2008 Adrian Aucoin (VAN 5th round 1992) and2007 7th round pick from Anders Eriksson (DET 1st round CHI for Andrei Zyuzin (SJ 1st round 1996) and Steve Marr (?) 1993) Jim Vandermeer (PHI Undrafted FA 2000) from PHI for 2009 3rd Cory Sarich (BUF 2nd round 1996) round pick 2006-2007 Craig Conroy (MON 6th round 1990) from LA for Jamie Lundmark (NYR 1st round 1999), 2007 4th round pick, and 2008 2nd round pick Wayne Primeau (BUF 1st round 1994) with Brad Stuart (SJ 1st round 1998) from BOS for Andrew Ference (PIT 8th round 1997) and Chuck Kobasew (CAL 1st round 2001) 2005-2006 2004-2005 Dustin Boyd (3rd round) Daymond Langkow (TB 1st round 1995) from PHX for Denis Gau- thier (CAL 1st round 1995) and (CAL 1st round 1999) 2003-2004 Dion Phaneuf (1st round) Mikka Kiprusoff (SJ 5th round 1995) from SJ for 2005 3rd round pick 2002-2003 Eric Nystron (1st round) Mattew Lombardi (3rd round) Curtis McElhinney (6th round) 2001-2002 David Moss (7th round) 1997-1998 Robyn Regehr (COL 1st 1998), Rene Corbet (QUE 2nd round 1991), Wade Belak (QUE 1st round 1994), and 2000 2nd round pick from COL for Theo Fleury (CAL 8th round 1987) and Chris Dingman (CAL 1st round 1994) 1995-1996 Jerome Iginla (DAL 1st round 1995) with Cory Millen (NYR 3rd round 1982) from DAL for Joe Nieuwendyk (CAL 2nd round 1985)

info in part provided by hockeyreference.com

COACHES GM HISTORY Head Coach: Mike Keenan 2002-Present: Darryl Sutter Asst. Coach: Jim Playfair 2001-2002: Craig Button Asst. Coach: Rich Preston 1996-2001: Al Coates Asst. Coach: Wayne Fleming Asst. Coach: Rob Cookson Goaltending Coach: David Marcoux

The Committed Indian is printed by Royal Omega Graphics- Elk Grove, IL 847-952-8000 [email protected] The Hawks Record When...

Playing at home...... 5-0-2 Scoring a short-handed goal...... 1-0-0 Are even close on face-offs..... 4-1-2 Playing on road...... 1-3-1 Allowing a short-handed goal...... 1-0-0 Eddie O tells crew to Stop It Right Here...... 6-3-3 Scoring first...... 2-2-2 Taking 30 or more shots...... 4-2-1 Eddie O tells us D have the forwards and forwards have the D Opponent scores first...... 3-1-1 Taking less than 30 shots..... 2-1-1 during 4-on-4...... 6-3-3 Shoot the puck bimbo scores...... 2-0-1 Allowing 30 shots or more...... 2-1-1 We fantasize about shooting Eddie O.... 6-3-3 Shoot the puck bimbo doesn’t score...... 3-0-2 Allowing 30 shots or less...... 4-2-2 We’re ecstatic Pat Foley is back...... 6-2-3 Shoot the puck bimbo blows editors of Commited Indian..... 0-0-0 100 Level doesn’t cheer for anthem. 5-0-2 Ice-girls wear skirts...... 1-0-2 ANYONE blows editors of Committed Indian ...... 0-0-0 1st of a back-to-back...... 1-1-1 Ice-girls wear pants...... 4-0-0 Playing on a Monday...... 1-1-1 2nd of a back-to-back..... 2-1-0 Ice-girls wear hideous pink outfit...... 1-0-0 Playing on a Tuesday...... 0-0-0 Opponent played night before.... 1-1-1 Leading after 2 periods...... 6-0-2 Playing on a Wednesday...... 2-0-0 Seabrook gets a flat-footed penalty.... 1-1-1 Losing after 2 periods...... 0-2-0 Playing on a Thursday...... 0-0-0 Burish takes a penalty...... 3-2-1 Tied after 2 periods...... 0-1-1 Playing on a Friday...... 1-1-0 Keith takes a penalty...... 2-1-1 In ...... 0-0 Playing on a Saturday...... 1-1-2 Sharp takes a penalty...... 5-1-1 In shootout...... 1-3 Playing on a Sunday...... 1-0-0 Sopel takes a penalty...... 1-1-0 Cam Barker plays...... 3-1-0 Savard changes lines during game... 1-2-1 Sopel looks 6 steps slow...... 3-3-2 Cam Barker is in Rockford due to GM incompetence..... 3-2-3 Coach Q keeps lines as they are..... 5-1-2 51 Phantom blows a coverage...... 4-2-3 Lacking a #2 center...... 6-3-3 Are out-muscled by opponent.... 2-3-1 Toews is trying too hard...... 3-3-2 In 1-goal games..... 1-1-3 Outshoot opponent...... 3-2-1 At least 1 fight in 300 Level... 0-0-2 In 2-goal games...... 1-2-0 Are outshot by opponenet.... 2-1-2 No fights in 300 Level..... 5-0-0 In 3-goal games...... 3-0-0 Havlat shies from contact...... 5-3-3 Playing Eastern Conference..... 0-2-0 In 4+ goal games...... 1-0-0 Patrick Kane scores...... 2-1-2 Playing Western Conference..... 6-1-3 Scoring 3+ goals..... 6-0-2 Jonathan Toews scores...... 0-0-0 Playing Central Division...... 1-0-3 Scoring less than 3 goals...... 0-3-1 Martin Havlat scores...... 2-0-1 Playing Northwest Division.... 3-1-0 PA plays Ministry...... 0-0-0 Patrick Sharp scores...... 5-1-1 Playing Pacific Division 2-0-0 PA plays Modern Cock-Rock..... 6-0-2 Dustin Byfuglien scores...... 1-0-0 Playing Atlantic Division 0-1-0 PA plays Classic Cock-Rock...... 2-0-2 Dustin Byfuglien turns down a hit...... 6-3-3 Playing NASCAR Division 0-1-0 PA plays P.J. Harvey...... 0-0-0 Andrew Ladd scores...... 2-0-0 Playing Northeast Division 0-0-0 Frasier fights...... 3-1-0 Dave Bolland scores...... 0-0-0 Playing in October.... 6-3-3 Burish fights...... 3-0-0 Adam Burish scores...... HA! Playing in November.... 0-0-0 Seabrook fights..... 0-0-0 51 Phantom scores...... 1-0-1 Playing in December...... 0-0-0 Keith fights...... 0-0-0 Duncan Keith scores...... 0-2-0 Playing in January..... 0-0-0 Buff fights...... 0-0-0 Brent Seabrook scores...... 3-0-0 Playing in February..... 0-0-0 Sharp fights...... 0-0-0 Scoring a Power Play goal...... 5-0-3 Playing in March...... 0-0-0 Eager fights...... 3-0-0 Not scoring a Power Play goal... 1-3-0 Playing in April...... 0-0-0 On Comcast...... 5-1-2 Power Play looks like it has a clue... 5-0-1 UC plays really stupid goal song..... 5-0-2 On WGN...... 1-1-1 Allowing a Power Play goal...... 2-1-3 Huet’s five-hole open like Lindsay Lohan’s..... 1-2-1 Josh Mora looks scary..... 5-2-2 Not Allowing a Power Play goal...... 4-2-0 Getting obliterated on face-offs...... 1-2-1 On Vs...... 0-1-0

Hawks Odds & Ends As you’ve probably noticed, we really like these stats from Behind The Net. They’re a little more effective than straight-up +/- because they take ice-time into account as well. For example if Player A and Player B are both -3, but Player A has done it with more time on ice, he’s not giving up goals at the same rate as Player B. We’ve also included Corsi Rating which, as mentioned in the stats page, measures shots attempted by a team vs. shots attempted by the opponents when a player is on the ice. What’s interesting is how Ladd’s numbers are so much better than Byfuglien’s, even though they’ve been on the same line since Brouwer’s call-up. Really let’s you kow how bad Buff was at the start of the season. If you’d like to peruse the site yourself, check out www.behindthenet.ca.

Key: NAME TOI/60 CORSI GOALS/60 PTS/60 GFON/60 GAON/60 +/-/60 TOI/60- Time on Ice, per Troy Brouwer 11.47 3.5 0.87 2.62 5.23 1.74 3.49 60 min AARON JOHNSON 12.26 3.9 0.98 1.96 3.92 0.98 2.94 Corsi- Rating of team’s KRIS VERSTEEG 12.48 0 0.4 2.4 4.01 2 2.01 shot attempted while on DAVE BOLLAND 10.88 11 0 2.3 3.68 2.3 1.38 ice vs. shots attempted against BRIAN CAMPBELL 18.45 13 0.27 1.08 2.98 1.9 1.08 MARTIN HAVLAT 13.95 7.9 0.72 2.51 3.58 2.51 1.07 Goals/60- Goals scored ANDREW LADD 11.6 14.2 1.29 2.16 3.02 2.16 0.86 per 60 min. on ice DUNCAN KEITH 19.98 4.8 0.25 1 3.5 2.75 0.75 PTS/60- Points per 60 PATRICK KANE 15.06 9 1 2.66 3.32 2.66 0.66 min. on ice BRENT SEABROOK 18 4.4 0.28 0.83 3.33 2.78 0.55 PATRICK SHARP 13.55 6.6 2.58 3.69 4.06 3.69 0.37 GFON/60- Goals for Team per 60 min. on ice CAMERON BARKER 14.55 17.5 0 1.03 2 2.06 -0.06 JONATHAN TOEWS 14.33 1.7 0 1.74 2.44 2.79 -0.35 GAON/60- Goals against DUSTIN BYFUGLIEN 12.5 4.8 0.4 1.6 2.4 2.8 -0.4 team per 60 min. on ice COLIN FRASER 6.75 -3 0.74 1.48 2.22 2.96 -0.74 +/-/60- Plus-minus per JORDAN HENDRY 8.45 -2.7 0 0 1.77 2.66 -0.89 60 min. on ice BEN EAGER 5.86 -6.4 1.28 1.28 1.28 2.56 -1.28

ALL STATS ARE 5-on-5 ADAM BURISH 6.52 -6.1 0 0 0.77 2.3 -1.53 JACK SKILLE 9.57 5.2 1.04 1.04 1.04 3.13 -2.09 BRENT SOPEL 10.97 -9 0.5 0.99 2.49 4.97 -2.48