October 2012 Ensign
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THE ENSIGN OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS • OCTOBER 2012 Strengthening Home and Family, pp. 4, 20, 32, 64 Young Adults Speak Up for Chastity, p. 24 Seeking Out Our Ancestors, p. 42 General Conference—Then and Now, p. 57 WORDS OF CHRIST I Have a Family Here on Earth, by Lorie Heaton Burningham Families can have hope in the future. The Savior has said that in the last days, the Church will flourish and the Lord will show His people great mercy and tenderness: “And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children. “In righteousness shalt thou be established; thou shalt be far from oppression for thou shalt not fear, and from terror for it shall not come near thee” (3 Nephi 22:13–14). Contents October 2012 Volume 42 • Number 10 FEATURES 14 Loss and Childlessness: Finding Hope amid the Pain Joshua J. Perkey Three couples from England find strength in the Lord as they cope with childlessness and the death of loved ones. 20 Teaching Chastity and Virtue Matthew O. Richardson Counsel on how to teach children about sexual intimacy. 24 Chastity in an Unchaste World Covenants can help young adults remain sexually pure. 4 28 How to Survive in Enemy Territory President Boyd K. Packer MESSAGES The gift of the Holy Ghost and prophetic counsel can protect you in enemy territory. FIRST PRESIDENCY MESSAGE 32 Helping Youth Have 4 One Key to a Happy Family Spiritual Experiences 46 President Dieter F. Uchtdorf Melissa Merrill Parents and leaders VISITING TEACHING MESSAGE cannot force children into the gospel, but they 8 Honoring Our Covenants can facilitate spiritual experiences. 38 The Voice of the People ON THE COVER The e nsign of The ChurC h of Jesus ChrisT of LaTTer-day s ainT s • oCTober 2012 Photo illustrations by Michael A. Neider Cody Bell. Service and citizenship. 42 What Have You Done for Them? Aleta Goodman Breakwell As I sat in the temple, I realized there was family history work for me yet to do. Strengthening Home and Family, 46 The Book of Alma: Lessons for Today pp. 4, 20, 32, 64 Young Adults Speak Up Elder Paul B. Pieper for Chastity, p. 24 Seeking Out Our Ancestors, p. 42 General Conference—Then and Three ancient messages for our day. Now, p. 54 October 2012 1 9 52 DEPARTMENTS 52 Instructing Young Men “More Perfectly” Larry M. Gibson FOR THE STRENGTH OF YOUTH Helping Young Men leaders bring young men to God. 9 Dress and Appearance 57 General Conference—Then and Now CONFERENCE NOTEBOOK Photographs of general conference over the years reflect the growth of the Church of Jesus Christ. 10 Clearing Our Calendar for Conference Cheryl Burr 60 Patterns of Prayer in the Book of Mormon John Hilton III SERVING IN THE CHURCH Five patterns that can change our prayers. 11 Sunday School Answers Emma Addams 64 Gospel Classics: Teaching Righteousness at Home WHAT WE BELIEVE Elder Delbert L. Stapley Bringing up our children 12 Provident Living Prepares Us for the Future in truth and light. 64 66 LATTER-DAY SAINT VOICES Courage to choose the right. 72 Trusting in the Living Waters Name withheld What a scorched aspen grove helped me realize 73 FAMILY HOME EVENING IDEAS about challenges in my marriage. 74 NEWS OF THE CHURCH 79 IN OTHER CHURCH MAGAZINES The articles with this icon contain a sidebar or text that will help you answer questions from those not UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN of our faith about the Church’s practices and beliefs. • Why do Latter-day Saints store food? p. 12 80 Good Things Keep On Coming • What happens to children who die before Caitlin A. Rush baptism? p. 14 As someone who regrets the present turning so • Does the Church take a political position? p. 38 quickly into the past, I was grateful to simply • What are the Church’s policies for performing temple enjoy the moment. ordinances for our deceased ancestors? p. 42 2 Ensign moreOnline ENSIGN ONLINE A MAGAZINE OF THE CHURCH OF If you’re looking to get more from your JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS Church magazine experience, check out October 2012 Volume 42 • Number 10 additional features at ensign .lds .org. The First Presidency: Thomas S. Monson, Henry B. Eyring, Dieter F. Uchtdorf ARE PEOPLE ASKING YOU QUESTIONS The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: ABOUT THE GOSPEL? Boyd K. Packer, L. Tom Perry, Russell M. Nelson, Dallin H. Oaks, M. Russell Ballard, Go to mormon.org and click “Our Beliefs” to Richard G. Scott, Robert D. Hales, read our basic doctrines in simple language. It Jeffrey R. Holland, David A. Bednar, may help you answer questions others ask. Quentin L. Cook, D. Todd Christofferson, Neil L. Andersen ARE YOUTH ASKING YOU Editor: Craig A. Cardon Advisers: Shayne M. Bowen, Bradley D. Foster, QUESTIONS ABOUT THE GOSPEL? Christoffel Golden Jr., Anthony D. Perkins Go to lds.org/youth and click on “Gospel Managing Director: David T. Warner Topics” in the youth menu. Here you will find Director of Family and Member Support: answers to many difficult questions. Vincent A. Vaughn Director of Church Magazines: HELP STRENGTHEN CHILDREN Allan R. Loyborg Business Manager: Garff Cannon BY LETTING THEM HEAR Managing Editor: R. Val Johnson TESTIMONIES FROM CHILDREN Assistant Managing Editor: AROUND THE WORLD LaRene Porter Gaunt Go to lds.org/friend and click on Publications Assistant: Faith Watson “One in a Million” on the left to hear Writing and Editing: Susan Barrett, Ryan Carr, David Dickson, David A. Edwards, Primary children worldwide share their Matthew D. Flitton, Hikari Loftus, experiences with the gospel. Lia McClanahan, Melissa Merrill, Michael R. Morris, Richard M. Romney, Paul VanDenBerghe, Julia Woodbury Editorial Intern: Jennifer G. Jones DO YOU HAVE A STORY TO TELL? Managing Art Director: J. Scott Knudsen Art Director: Tadd R. Peterson We welcome donated submissions showing Design: Jeanette Andrews, Fay P. Andrus, the gospel of Jesus Christ at work in your C. Kimball Bott, Thomas Child, life. On each submission, please include your Kerry Lynn C. Herrin, Colleen Hinckley, name, address, telephone number, e-mail Eric P. Johnsen, Scott Mooy, Brad Teare address, and the name of your ward and Intellectual Property Coordinator: Collette Nebeker Aune stake (or branch and district). Production Manager: Jane Ann Peters Production: Connie Bowthorpe Bridge, TO CHANGE ADDRESS Howard G. Brown, Julie Burdett, Send both old and new address information Bryan W. Gygi, Kathleen Howard, Denise Kirby, Ginny J. Nilson, Gayle Tate Rafferty to Distribution Services, P.O. Box 26368, Salt Prepress: Joshua Dennis Lake City, UT 84126-0368, USA. Please allow Printing Director: Craig K. Sedgwick 60 days for changes to take effect. Distribution Director: Evan Larsen © 2012 by Intellectual Reserve, Inc. All rights SUBSCRIBE TO OR RENEW THE ENSIGN reserved. The Ensign (ISSN 0884-1136) is Online: Visit store.lds.org. published monthly by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 50 E. North Temple By phone: In the United States and Canada Street, Salt Lake City, UT 84150-0024, USA. call 1-800-537-5971. Periodicals Postage Paid at Salt Lake City, Utah. By mail: Send U.S. $10 check or money Copyright information: Text and visual order to Distribution Services, P.O. Box 26368, material in the Ensign may be copied for Salt Lake City, UT 84126-0368, USA. incidental, noncommercial church or home use. Visual material may not be copied if restrictions are indicated in the credit line with the artwork. Copyright questions should be addressed to Intellectual Property Office, 50 E. North Temple Street, Salt Lake City, UT 84150-0018; e-mail: cor-intellectualproperty@ ldschurch .org. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Distribution Services, P.O. Box 26368, Salt Lake City, UT 84126-0368, USA. Canada Post Information: Publication Agreement #40017431. October 2012 3 4 Ensign FIRST PRESIDENCY MESSAGE By President ONE KEY Dieter F. Uchtdorf Second Counselor in TO A the First Presidency Happy Family he great Russian author Leo Tolstoy began his dripping down its face. The man rushed inside and, to his novel Anna Karenina with these words: “Happy horror, saw that his baby boy was missing and his cradle families are all alike; every unhappy family is overturned. In anger the prince pulled out his sword and T 1 unhappy in its own way.” While I do not have Tolstoy’s killed his dog. Shortly thereafter, he heard the cry of his certainty that happy families are all alike, I have discov- son—the babe was alive! By the infant’s side lay a dead ered one thing that most have in common: they have a wolf. The dog had, in reality, defended the prince’s baby way of forgiving and forgetting the imperfections of others from a murderous wolf. and of looking for the good. Though this story is dramatic, it demonstrates a point. Those in unhappy families, on the other hand, often find It opens the possibility that the story we tell ourselves fault, hold grudges, and can’t seem to let go of past offenses. about why others behave a certain way does not always “Yes, but . .” begin those who are unhappy. “Yes, but agree with the facts—sometimes we don’t even want you don’t know how badly she hurt me,” says one. “Yes, to know the facts. We would rather feel self-justified in but you don’t know how terrible he is,” says another. our anger by holding onto our bitterness and resent- Perhaps both are right; perhaps neither. ment. Sometimes these grudges can last months or years.