The Year of the Goddess Yearly Inspiration | 2015 Issue

A COLLECTION OF INSPIRING STORIES, POEMS AND ART WORK CREATED BY GODDESSES

THE YEAR OF THE GODDESS YEARLY INSPIRATION | 2015 ISSUE

WWW.NABALO.COM COPYRIGHT

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or trans- mitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, re- cording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncom- mercial uses permitted by copyright law.

For permission requests, contact :

Nabalo Stockholm, Sweden [email protected] www.nabalo.com

i MAGIC

The Goddess is Alive. Magic is afoot.

— Z. Budapest

ii EDITORS NOTE

On a snowy December night in 2014 I was sitting the readers that have been supporting the Year at my desk drinking a glass of delicious organic of the Goddess. red wine and being in awe of all the amazing Since there are only 12 New Moons in a year and women I get to call my "Tribe". so many more amazing goddesses in my life I de- I was looking back on my year and writing down cided to create this Ebook. A collection of sto- what had made that year so epic, and I realized ries, artwork, poems and photography by women that I my year had been so incredible by all the from all over the world. I hope you enjoy reading inspiring women I had met. And in that moment I it as much as I enjoyed making it. felt the calling. I wanted to do a year long pro- Tonight, on a snowy evening in December of the ject called the Year of the Goddess. year 2015, while I am sipping my delicious or- On every New Moon in 2015 I shared one of ganic red wine, I again find myself in awe with life these amazing women and their stories on my and with all the amazing women I get to work website. Hoping that my readers would be just as and connect with. inspired by them as I am. The response to this This is for you, Goddesses. project has been warming my heart for a whole year and I am so grateful for both the writers and Love, Iris Founder of Nabalo

iii 1 NEW MOON GODDESSES

On every New Moon in 2015 I have shared with you one of the amazing women I cherish so deeply! Let me take you on a trip through 12 Moons and meet the New Moon Goddesses, read about their passions, how they see the world and what they thrive on.

You better be ready to be inspired because they will rock your world! GODDESS

“I believe every single woman is a Goddess. We are divine, miracu- lous and glorious. It’s who we are down to our core. You may need to rediscover and reclaim this part of yourself but it’s there just waiting for you to rock it.”

- Alexandra Jaye Johnson

v JANUARY - ALI wild |wīld|

SCHUELER adjective

1 (of an animal or plant) living or growing in the natural envi- ronment; not domesticated or cultivated. • (of people) not civilized; barbarous. 2 uncontrolled or unrestrained, especially in pursuit of pleasure. • not based on sound reasoning or probability.

So, I kind of have a “thing” for wildness.

No, I don’t exactly mean a sexually inspired kind of “thing” (but a wild man or woman sure is sexy!) for wildness. I’m more-so talking about my whole passion in life being centered around coming into more and more union with my wild feminine nature.

To me, wildness is truth. It’s the core of our human existence, but we’ve come so, so far from it.

6 We live in boxes, are told to follow the all- way over the last decade) that women should american lifestyle, working our 9-5’s and not ask- stay at home all of the time, care for the house, ing questions. raise children, and live these neat, proper lives.

Society is scared of wild. Wildness is not tame, it Of course this is a generalization, but like I stated doesn’t fit into boxes, and it’s not easy to under- — it’s been the overarching truth for many cul- stand or define. tures over time, the further we’ve gotten from out natural, wild state. We’ve come so far from our wild ancestry, we literally have to re-learn how to be natural humans Wild women frighten most people. Think back to again. Because the truth is, wild is our natural hu- the witch trials, for example — those were wild man state of being. women, speaking their truth, expressing their sexuality, healing and nourishing with herbal Being the domesticated humans that we are remedies. People feared them for the power the now, it requires an unleashing and embracing to possessed — the power of being a fully embod- get back to our wildness, and speaking specifi- ied woman. cally for women — an unleashing and embracing of our wild feminine nature. What’s usually frightening for people about wild women, is that they are usually very hard to tame We’ve come so far from our wild feminine nature, or define. Wild women at their highest potential as women from such a young age are being are free, charismatic, expressive, confident, un- taught that their bodies are all wrong rather than wavering from their truth and beliefs, in love with honoring their uniqueness, to dissociate from themselves, in union with their feminine cycles, their natural cycles rather than embrace the sexual, spiritual, sacred, and generally don’t give beauty of their femininity, to chase men for valida- a fuck what people think — while simultaneously tion rather than falling in love with themselves being some of the most caring, compassionate, first, or cover themselves in toxic makeup rather and passionately loving characters you will ever than understanding that the skin they live in is meet. the most beautiful incarnation already. Wild woman is a breed that is few and far be- While the domestication applies to both women tween these days, but we’re making a resur- and men completely, women have been espe- gence. cially tamed over time. The word domesticate or domesticated, literally means “of the house” or My passion in life is finding more and more ways “belonging to the house”. If you think about the to unleash and embrace my wild feminine nature. way women have been tamed, there has been Not only is it my passion, but it’s my path in life. this overarching idea for such a long time (that’s And it’s not only my passion and path in life for just finally starting to be challenged in a bigger

7 myself, but I love to support other women in unleashing and embracing their wild feminine nature within their own lives and being, too.

I feel most alive when I’m doing the things that make me feel wild — whether it’s swimming naked, dancing ecstatically, harvesting wild edibles and medicinals, making crazy passionate love, sitting in circle with my sisters, moving my body freely, eating healthful and nourishing foods, imbibing sacred elixirs, writing from my heart, or reading riveting literature.

The beauty of our wildness is that what evokes the feeling of being wild and free for each woman is going to be different.

So, what makes you feel wild, dear sister? Does the call of the wild speak to your heart and soul?

The wild lives within us all, if we’ll only open to it.

Ali is a writer and women’s embodiment mentor, helping women to “unleash and embrace their wild feminine nature".

She is committed to the re-sacralization of the feminine across the globe. Her mission is passionately providing women with experience- based tools that inspire life-changing awakening in the feminine, promoting emotional awareness, spiritual fulfillment, wild self-expression as well as a connection to our bodies and their natural cycles.

She enjoys writing and video blogging weekly through her website WildWomanSpeaks.com and sharing inspiration with her Wild Woman Speaks community.

8 FEBRUARY - “Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight CAMILLE GIGLIO to the imagination, and life to everything. ”

— Plato

MUSIC IS UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE

Music is something that pulses through us, and touches us all uniquely. We’ve all had those moments of getting lost in a song, beautiful music bringing a tear, listening to music while we drive - not just had them, but even daily - feeling like a song represents our personal life’s movie soundtrack.

Music is a healing experience. Studies show that it effects mood, depression, and anxiety. I can imagine that whenever our ances- tors learned they could make beautiful sounds with their voices, it was immediately something treasured. And when two people combine their voices to make music, all the more powerful.

9 Music brings together cultures from all over the in love. Music can celebrate a loved one, it can planet, ties into sacred ceremonies throughout give people hope, and it can celebrate the birth time, is a key part of rituals from many different of a new being. It can be the soundtrack to creat- beliefs, and also very much enjoyed for pleasure. ing new life or to accompany a psychoactive ex- It is part of our ancestry and lineage. Think about perience. how many different styles and forms of music ex- What I’m getting at here, is that music can be ist, each one bursting out of a community bit by our direct connection to source, goddess, god, bit throughout herstory. Music is a huge part of spirit, creation, if we allow it or want it to be. We cultures and subcultures all over the planet, and can hear music in our hearts and in our minds, celebrated by so many. and they are flowing through all of us.

I chose to write about music today, because it’s a topic that lives close in my heart. I grew up with ACTION - GETTING OUT OF A FUNK a lot of music in my life - either through instruments and my voice, or moving my body in mo- Put on a playlist or album of music that will en- tion to music. At times in my youth, I was quite courage you to dance. Play it as loud as you can enthusiastic and would attempt to play 5 differ- stand it. If it’s too loud for any surrounding peo- ent instruments at once, be a part of a choir and ple, put it on headphones. Close your eyes. Now youth orchestra, and spend hours every day danc- start moving your body. Try slow movements at ing to music. I once did a science project show- first, swaying your body, picking up your feet, ing how 3 different types of music affected and move a bit around the room (or bonus plants, and proved that beautiful music made points if you’re out on the grass or sand). Let beautiful looking plants. your body feel the music and move accordingly. Let at least an entire song pass by before open- In my adult life, I’ve made space for organized ing your eyes. Open eyes make it easier to move music making in my life a couple of times, and your body freely and continuously. This is my go- recently have come back to creating music again to action for getting myself out of a funk. Getting after missing it for years. I’ve always sung at dif- yourself where you can listen to at least one song ferent times, sometimes a quick little perform- is mostly doable for any of us - headphones, in ance and always singing my son to sleep. the car, on the computer, speaker system, or whatever it may be. Dance your heart out to 4-5 We have the capability to create sounds, put songs and you’re golden. words to it or not, and share and show emotion with these audible vibrations. These vibrations can tell a story, they can signify an initiation, they can show an emotion, or they can make you feel

ACTION - DEEP RELAXATION CHALLENGE

There’s a reason massage therapists and other similar practitioners have music playing in the room, music can be extremely relaxing. Lots of different types of music are relaxing, it’s all unique to each of us. For me personally, soft, sweet, slow sounds made with instruments and voice are very relaxing. Try this at home - put on a long music track - I love this Soundlight Experience here - and create a soft cozy place to lie down and close your eyes. The goal is to stay awake and get into a deep state of relaxation in your body, heart, and mind. Let the music flood your being and let your thoughts, any stressful emotions, or experiences from the day flow away. You are free from responsibilities at this time, so put aside any thoughts or concerns or people that may be waiting for you. Allow images and colors to stream into your consciousness and soothe you. The gentle movement of your breath will guide you into an even more relaxed state. For me, the best time to do this is early evening so I’m not too sleepy, but it winds me down for the day.

ACTION - YOUR TURN

Now it’s your turn to create music. What’s it going to be? Is there an instrument in your house that’s collecting dust? Or maybe there’s one that you or someone else is very much acquainted with and hasn’t been touched in a while. Or maybe you can’t go a day without playing your instrument or using your voice. There are many ways to go about creating some good vibrations. Sing along with your favorite songs (we all do it in the car anyway, might as well admit it ;-), use your voice and learn a new song or write one. Writing a song can be as simple as taking a poem you resonate with and singing it.

HERE’S A SONG TO TRY OUT:

Long Time Sun

"May the long time sun Shine upon you All love surround you And the pure light Within you Guide your way on Guide your way on"

11 I know this song from singing in new moon gatherings with women. I just learned it’s also used as a Kundalini Yoga blessing at the end of a practice. I believe it’s an old Irish traditional song that came after a long potato famine, but there are a few stories floating around as it’s origination.

Essentially, let the music flow through you and carry on with those movie soundtrack moments. Allow songs to take over and heal you. Go see live music that you will enjoy whenever you have the opportunity. When we’re experiencing joy and creativity and connection in life, it’s a whole lot more fun.

Camille has a passion for igniting change in peoples lives globally. She was raised in an al- ternative household focused on healthy eating, spirituality, and unconventional schooling. Fol- lowing graduation of high school, she left for NYC and studied Musical Theater at AMDA. At the age of 20, she leaped into a new dietary and lifestyle shift, making profound changes overnight.

Camille would go on to spend over 6 years traveling and working closely with David Wolfe, as- sisting him in the creation of Noniland, his Ha- waii based agricultural research center and honey farm.

She is the Director of Three Lily Farm, which she owns with Frank, and manages just about everything on and behind the scenes.

12 MARCH - RACHAEL The wind in my hair and the sun on my face, I take in a deep ALAIA breath and let out a big, belly laugh, feeling in my heart I am exactly where I am meant to be. Wild and free.

A year ago, I made a commitment to fully embrace and rock out to my own wild nature. At that time, my path had brought me towards a life that I no longer felt was mine. It was a comfortable life: with lots of friends, a full teaching schedule, and plenty of free time for my own side projects.

But something was off. I could feel my wild soul yearning to be free. For years, I had been feeling a pull towards South America that I could no longer ignore.

So one fateful day, I surrendered and bought my plane ticket to Buenos Aires. That was it—No turning back. I had no clue what I was doing, but I knew it was big.

The journey my soul called me on was a wild and, at times, bumpy road of adventure, self exploration, and awakening.

13 It was rife with lessons of letting go, keeping the the soil of our minds and cultivating the seeds of faith, and radical self acceptance. And it led me gratitude, abundance, and detached satisfaction, further away from the woman I thought I needed we awaken to our infinite power as unique indi- to be to the wild soul I already possessed. viduals in a connected universe.

To be wild means to understand that we contain I have come to realize that wildness and freedom all the answers to life's questions within. We can are inherent traits of all beings on Earth, human- begin to access this innate wisdom by reimmers- kind being no exception. ing ourselves in the ever present rhythms, energy Unfortunately, many of us have lost touch with patterns, and cycles of the natural world. Sup- our own wild nature, becoming like overly domes- porting our whole beings by integrating our shad- ticated caged animals. We are shut into tiny ows and aligning body, mind, soul, and spirit fu- boxes, expected to conform to the ideas and ide- els our fullest potential. als of others. We toil, lost and confused on our As wild souls, we surrender all perceived limita- life's meaning and deeper purpose. We suffocate tions and false belief systems, creating our own under the weight of environmental torture, social set of rules to live by. And even these new rules injustice, cultural genocide, and economic are up for constant negotiation. We release our pillaging. need for perfection and our hunt for approval. Fear not, dear one, as we are not without hope, As wild ones, we unlearn what we are not. We re- without a path towards the light. But in order to alize that we require no one and no thing exter- move forth, we must first acknowledge where we nal to access a sense of wholeness and holiness. are now and who we have become. In our self reliance we are empowered to great- We must stop running from our pain. We must ness. stop denying our darkness. We must stop believ- To be wild means to know we are worthy of our ing our separation and repressing our truth. greatest life possible. Every thing, every action, We must rewild. and every one is sacred, ourselves included. We welcome the many paradoxes and bask in the To be wild means to be aware of our intercon- great mysteries. We are gentle, yet fierce, peace- nectedness with everything and everyone. "As ful, yet passionate, grounded, yet flying among above, so below. As within, so without." We are the stars. Us wild souls master the art of stillness, wild nature and wild nature is us. of being, as well as the dance of movement, of Nature consciousness opens our eyes to the real- doing. ity of oneness, to the understanding that the Our wildness calls upon us to be fully present outer world is a reflection of the inner. By tilling and open to it all: the beautiful storm, the rain-

14 bow, the miracle that is this experience of life. We choose to perceive the world as one that is safe, supportive, and abundant for our dreams to manifest. We find the strength to remove those masks that keep us from showing up fully for the world, knowing our vulnerability is the source of our power and not the root of our weakness.

As wild things, we let go of the resistance, of the struggle, of the toil. Life becomes gloriously simple as we settle into ease and grace, understanding that our purpose in this life is to feel joy and to ex- tend that joy to others. We access our immense value as wild souls with exceptional gifts to be shared with the world.

In reawakening our sacred wild souls, we find freedom. We begin to move away from fear and towards unconditional love. We release guilt and shame to make way for gratitude and compassion. We feel our power as creative beings, capable of crafting our own reality like a talented artist or a poet. And from this space, we commit to action in service of others, of a greater good, of something bigger than our Selves.

Rachael is a truth seeker, wild child, and peace- ful warrior for the earth. She chases sun- drenched coastlines and the fresh air of the forest, leaving a trail of laughter and freshly nib- bled mango pits in her wake. Rachael is on a passion-driven mission to reawaken the wild soul of humanity.

As founder of Wild Soul Wellness, Rachael gracefully embodies her role as a women’s spiritual mentor, holistic life coach, nature guide, yogini, artist, and educator. Like Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, she believes that the world will be saved by the western woman; But these women must first embody their divine feminine power. Rachael helps these women build a solid foundation of holistic health, guides them to tap into their innate, creative, and intuitive wisdom, and holds space for them to remember the deep and sacred teachings of wild nature.

15 APRIL - DANIELLE “Do not cringe and make yourself small if you are called the BERTOIA black sheep, the maverick, the lone wolf. Those with slow seeing say a nonconformist is a blight on society. But it has been proven over the centuries, that being different means standing at the edge, means one is practically guaranteed to make an original contribution, a useful and stunning contribution to her culture.” — Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Ar- chetype

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to fit in. I had this intense, insatiable desire for others to like me. No, love me.

As a little girl, I was consumed by the feeling that something about me was unlikable. Unlovable. That only the muted version of myself was acceptable and that anything above that was osten- tatious and unsightly. Sadly, some of my earliest memories are filled with these nuances of self-suffocation, subtly and not so

16 subtly changing my behavior, my language, my where I turned I was presented with a new ideal I clothes, so the people around me would accept was expected to meet, a new notch in an ever- me. growing belt of hypocrisy.

I have clear and vivid memories of opening gifts And even still, I could hear a faint and distant call during the holidays and consciously squelching within me. “This isn’t real.” And not in some the delirious squeals within me, ecstatic that I “Women who wear makeup and go out to bars had just opened a gift I had been dreaming of aren’t real” kind of way, but in the sense that the because I knew an open display of too much hap- girl I had created didn’t actually exist. She was a piness, too much excitement, too much joy fractured compilation of every story I had ever meant that I was calling too much attention to been told about how a woman should be. Quiet, myself. That good girls are quiet and that their subdued, polite, sweet, unassuming, over- ac- joy is implied, not visible. commodating. Compliant.

I carried this story with me all of my adolescence, A few more years passed by and I now found my- confusedly dancing between the desire to be self, a woman in her mid- twenties, with no iden- seen and the desire to be loved, the two seem- tity outside of the usual suspects: devoted wife, ingly incongruent. I was tortured inside, knowing good friend, helpful sister and daughter. Though that the woman that was growing inside of me now, there were a few more lively characters to was incompatible with the girl I presented to the add to the bunch. Deep and abiding depression. world in order to feel accepted. I assumed that Bone aching anxiety. Chilling, consuming panic this is how all women must feel and that embrac- attacks that would visit me daily, sometimes for ing that was a rite of passage. repeat dances should my internal dancer allow it.

“Though her soul requires seeing, the culture I knew I couldn’t go on in this way. I was desper- around her requires sightlessness. Though her ate, and in my desperation, I threw up a cry for soul wishes to speak its truth, she is pressured to help. A call to action. A prayer, of sorts. be silent.”— Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Allow me the grace to crawl out from this hole Wild Woman Archetype and I will dedicate my life to unearthing the woman I was sent here to be. And, (because nice I passed through college with this same mindset, girls always throw in extras) once I am able to though it was compounded by the fact that, now, stand on my own two feet, I will help other nice girls should not only be polite and accom- women do the same. modating, they should also be perfectly mani- cured and effortlessly beautiful. Cue the tanning I will allow myself to be consumed only by the de- beds, fake eyelashes and bar-hopping. Every- sire to be unchained, unapologetically wild, de-

17 voted to unveiling the parts unseen in myself and ness became bigger. I could breathe deeper. every other woman I come in contact with. Sleep longer. Love harder.

Now, I didn’t have an Eat, Pray, Love moment I could feel myself climbing out, and once at the where I heard a voice confirming my order, but top, I saw the landscape had changed dramati- what I did have was a quiet stirring inside me. cally. Here was a brand new world, whose only A gentle re-calibration akin to rebooting my inter- expectation of me was that I devour it. That I nal computer. The information was still inside, chew my way through every experience, no the old files, the trashcan, the pictures that could longer afforded the luxury of cowering in fear or stand to be deleted. But what was new was politely declining. I had made a deal, I couldn’t these old files, old experiences, had been re- go back to the little girl I once was. I could only moved from my desktop, revealing a blank space go forward, reborn into the woman I had asked to create from. A second chance, not to create to become. To show other women that there is a the woman I wanted to be, but to meet the way. There is a way to capture and keep the woman underneath it all. beautiful, soft, sweet parts of ourselves but that it need not be at the expense of our wildness. Day by day, I became a little bit stronger. I was still experiencing panic attacks, still plagued by The rest of the story is contained in a chapter I dread and doubt, but the space between the sad- am still writing, though this one has a decidedly

18 different tone. Triumphant. Humble. Hungry.

Once riddled with anxiety, too afraid to leave my home, I now travel the world taking in every damn wild experience I can get my hands on. And through my work (because nice girls keep their word) I am helping other women do the same. I still carry the wounds of feeling weird, strange, unlovable with me too, and I even pull them out and look at them from time to time. Hell, sometimes they pull themselves out. Now, however, I am able to see them for what they are and put them back where they belong - on the shelf next to all of the other stories I was told to believe about myself that I know now to be untrue. And now (because a Wild Woman is whatever the fuck she wants to be) I welcome all parts of myself to the table, without shame.

Without fear.

Only Love.

Danielle is a peace hunter, truth teller, dream weaver.

A lady of the wild Canadian woods, her goal is to marry the seen parts of her farm-fresh reality to the unseen cosmic reality she knows to be true.

Moments are passed collecting eggs, mixing potions and simmering in sisterhood.

Using Ayurveda, Vedic Astrology, Yogic Phi- losophy and Wild Woman Wisdom, she guides her fellow humans down the path towards radical self love and the discovery that magic does indeed exist. Come play at Daniellebertoia.com

(Photocredit : Fancy Free Photography & Ja- son Yokobosky Photography)

19 MAY - LAUREN “Feel free to change, when you discover something true MCKENNA about yourself, put it into action regardless of who you were yesterday.”

— Danielle Laporte

Write this down, stick it everywhere, get it tattooed on you, whatever you need to do to remember this. No one is holding you to a version of yourself. One of the mother freaking gems of this life is being able to experiment, expand, retract, explore, grow and evolve. Whatever gets you closer to your truth.

I have to admit, not even a year ago I couldn't imagine me send- ing this message to world, let alone believing it and living by it. But today, these words are a daily dose of medicine to my aspir- ing soul and curious spirit. They are a constant reminder of what to do to be who I want to be and the roadmap to living my purpose.

20 “Be mindful of the times when a shiver of energy from the universe “here’s more..keep going!” the runs up your spine or your heart starts singing. more I explored each desire with less fucks about Maybe it will be a feeling of uncanny familiarity what anyone else thought, because I finally felt or allencompassing rightness. These are the mo- like I was truly living within myself. It wasn’t until ments to note, because they are the times when I stoked those sparks that they became a huge we have stumbled upon something that reso- pit of fire at my center, and I caught my reflec- nates with our truth.” ” tion in the flames. Within that, I realized that growth and change itself, is a huge part of my — Alexis J. Cunningfolk truth - and absolutely necessary in order for my Let me take a few steps back. I remember a time health, happiness and evolution. And with that I living my life with these constant sparks of things realized that we can change, as much and as of- that excited my soul. They were quite obvious, ten as we want, so that the way we are living al- but often I ignored them. This is sort of how it ways feels aligned with that feeling deep deep played out: down in our core. It is our birthright.

I would get a spark, I would instantly think of the My days are now led by those shivers of energy most “far fetched” idea associated with it, deem that run up my spine, making my heart sing, to it “silly and impossible” and therefore put it on see where it leads me to. the “impossible/fantasy shelf.” This mechanism So yeah, I quit a job that I spent lot of money was my go-to because I truly believed that I and time learning for, that paid really well - re- couldn’t change, or pursue anything too “out- gardless of being scared that my family was go- landish” because I was who I was and at a cer- ing to judge me - in order to follow that spark of tain point you lose your window to explore your- doing something that makes my heart sing every self. day (even if it doesn’t pay in money.) At a certain point I fell into depression. I didn’t So yeah, I left behind the old ways of gossiping, feel myself. I felt trapped. I was using my mecha- and comparing and competing with other nism so often that I wasn’t evolving. I was stuck women - regardless of being scared that my girl- in an old version of myself that desperately friends were going to judge me - in order to fol- needed to grow. low that desire of finding my place in a tribe of It wasn’t until I started exploring small interests in sisters and feel connected with women. my personal life, ones that didn’t need to be so So yeah, I walk around without a bra, geek out known to everyone (like celebrating my men- about my menstrual cycle, howl at the moon and strual cycle with cloth pads instead of tampons,) talk about Goddesses - regardless of being that a shift began to happen. Once I started get- scared that every single person I know is going ting a response from within “I feel so me!” and

21 to judge me and think I lost my shit - in order to achieve the freedom I desire, and to feel like a true wild woman.

In order to feel me.

And maybe some people are judging me. And that’s ok, it doesn’t bother me like it used it used to. Like Danielle Laporte says, “When you do stuff from the soul, people really dig that shit.” Not everyone will understand you, but you will attract the tribe that does when you’re living your truth. And those who truly love you, will continue to love you and celebrate you, in any version of yourself.

Our truth is our gift to the world, and as Marie Forleo has said, by holding back our truth/gifts, we are stealing from the people that need it most. Which is why I lead to inspire other women to follow their desires in order to live their truth. Because the world needs more of them.

Lauren is a VT native currently living in NYC. Her passions for learning and helping others leads her to work such as massage therapy, holding space for online sisterhood, and helping people turn their world changing ideas into projects. Her driving force is her passion for inspiring and supporting women in getting real about their desires and using them to live life that is uninhibited, wild and ecstatic, while also leading them to live healthier lives.

Her astrological profile sums her up quite perfectly - she’s has the loyalty and earthy vibe of a Taurus, the curious spirit of a Gemini, and fiercely loves being in partnerships in work and life, like a Libra. Oh, and she’s bestie’s with her inner child.

You can follow her happenings here.

22 JUNE - KATIE “Gentleness Inspired Bravery” BURKE

I was raised to go to college.

I knew I could succeed at this academic game. Sprinkle in some stubbornness and a knack for competitiveness and you've got yourself a girl who wanted more than anything to be a scholar with a "bright future ahead of her."

And while playing the scholarship game, I got tunnel vision looking down at my feet.

First step, get into the right schools. Another step, get the right internship with the right companies, another step, get into the right MBA program... make friends with the professors... work with the bigger brands and corporations... become a thought leader in your field. Step after step after step and then suddenly I look up and I didn’t know. I was totally disconnected from nour-

23 ishment. I'm surviving on bad coffee and shallow compliments of some- “When you one doing my same job but with more years under their belt. have Unfortunately fear conquered me in this situation and I did not listen to the all knowing voice who would generously send advice my way. A bravery woman’s intuition is dangerous to ignore because that is when we get and a into trouble (women, I know you know what I mean). I would later come to fall in love with this voice and call her strong Intuition. intuition She got me to look up and say “Where the fuck am I going?” and then nothing "Whatever is down this road seems very anticlimactic...” But all the steps I had to take were NOT minor so I pushed her aside. will stop Time, tuition, expectations, tears, sweat and relationships all depend- you sister.” ing on "the plan” I had promised to execute. The weight of disappoint- ing those closest to me was heavy on my shoulders. So much that I really started to decline in my spirit. I fell into a zombie like state because facing the truth of not living my life fully was too difficult to look at in the eye. That would require a lot of bravery that I didn’t have yet.

I understand all too well the fear of saying I don't know.

I don't have things figured out.

Things didn't go according to plan.

Why? Because it didn't FEEL right.

That's really fucking scary to say out loud for the first time. But here is how I did it… I embraced gentleness towards myself.

Gentleness looks like a few things to me, like writing yourself a love letter that sounds like it comes from an encouraging friend. It means making time to cultivate relationships with smart and strong women. Or giving myself permission to hold sacred space no one else was allowed

24 into unless this person really understood the new path I was building for myself. It was falling in love with myself.

I needed to embrace being gentle and gracious with myself if I was going to be able to move on to my greatness. Gentleness is like the homemaker that prepares a comfortable stay for courage. Cour- age can make herself at home and blossom into bravery.

When you have bravery and a strong intuition nothing will stop you sister.

Katie runs her own dream business where she helps women entrepreneurs who are ready to package and prepare their company and brand so they feel confident in their business. This includes everything from branding, marketing strategy, PR campaigns, planning out a social media content calendar and feeling self assured in the vision and future for their brand.

I highly recommend checking out her beauti- fully designed website!

25 JULY - AMBER ROSE Own your truth like a Goddess.

It ain't easy to surrender the seeming need to be loved. What will happen if you embrace and admit the TRUTH? Some will kinda' get it, some will judge you, some will even hate you..... but you aren't talking to them anyways. Are you?

Don't let the doubters discourage you, or the possible judgements deter you. Sharing your truth is a powerful gift! Not everyone is ready to receive it for the beauty that it is.

When you give from your heart without fear of judgement, mira- cles happen and your soul blooms and the light in your eyes daz- zles and those that are meant to be drawn to you are. Keep sharing my sisters!

Keep sharing your LIGHT and your TRUTH, even the darkness and the thick of it needs a voice too.

26 Give voice to the pain and the rage and the pas- Into the darkness I dove. sion. Give voice to the roar of your heart and the The depths of my story I wove as my mind seemed scream of your mind. All has value, when you can to come unraveled and my world fell apart. "real-eyes" and own the power of the TRUTH and the truth of your Whole self. To my knees I fell. Bleeding heart in my hand.

You are magnificent and Mighty. You are miracu- I thought that I would never rise again... lous and Divine. Yes, I have known the depths of despair, the spikes of anxiety and the piercing of judgements spears. Own all that is you because it's time and no matter who hears you, know this, you are LOVED...... I struggled hard for many a year not because you need it, but because you feed it. You feed this LOVE by being willing to live in Fought like a caged bear. your Truth. You feed this LOVE by blooming your heart and opening your eyes to the surprise that Doubted I could ever rise from the pit of my fear. is the Goddess in YOU. Until one day I realized I had nothing left to surren- On that note I desire to share a poem I der. wrote……. I had been pulled undone and withered to cinders by TRUTH the clashing of swords that I stabbed into my own soul. I know you can do this, because if I can any woman can.... My mind and heart locked in an epic tug of war.

I spent a lot of time for many years and cried an ava- A struggling battle between what I felt and desired lanche of tears trying to figure out how I fit in and win and what I knew, I needed to, had to, must, aspire at this game called life. too...

I gave up and tried again. A hundred times ... a thou- What does it even mean, this thing, we try to strive sand then.... for, need to be for someone else, for "them" does anyone even know who "they" are and how anyone When I realized I couldn't win, I curled up within and ever "fits in" ? vowed to forget who I am. How did we get this far into this madness of needing

27 to be something, so that someone can love us. Is it my heart I hear and feel?

No...no longer. It must be, here inside of me.

I see it now. I saw it then. Here to set me free.

Myself in a puddle, dripping within from the tears of She calls my name in melody, in rhythm in time. trying to pretend. I feel myself opening, my wings wet, my heart heavy No more. and hungry to sing a new song.

Now what? The dawn is warm upon my breast.

Who am I? I tell my mind, be still and rest.

Am I dead? My heart is born anew today and she has so much to do and say, to play and be and bloom into. What dread. I feel my joy rising. Who will I be without their ideas of me? I feel my heart smile, like a child. Who must I become? I can do this, whatever this is, this is Bliss! I am tired of feeling numb. This is good. I think I might like to fly...or become something more. I can hear the song I never understand before but now I feel her in my bones, my core. What's in store for a woman who has lost her light, forgotten her sight, pulled down deep like a shadow I love this! I want more. in the night. Heart beat, like a drum. Perhaps if I just sit here and listen something with come. Call me home and let me become my Own.

Wait, what's that…beating like a drum, warming me You are my leader now, my light. back, no longer numb. The friend that wakes me from that awful freight and

28 shows me now my inner sight.

I can see into this Love that is you.

I can see the most amazing view of every shade and hue.

You are a Goddess, a Shaman, a Gift to me and all I share you with.

Thank you Heart for waking me from the dark of what seemed such a desolate dream and yet it was that darkness that brought me to you....

So yes...yes. I thank the darkness too.

And in embracing both of you I am made whole.

I am made new.

Today I rise and stand in My Full TRUTH.

Amber is a Shamanic Artist, Healer & Guide.

Creating Art as Soul Medicine and Shar- ing Sacred Wisdom as Soul Food.

Check out Amber's website here!

29 AUGUSTUS - LIZZIE Within the heart of every woman is a healer.

SWARTZ Her first task: heal herself.

I’ve witnessed a lot of women heal painful aspects of their lives. Moving beyond pain, trauma, and old stories. Moving towards joy, prosperity, and wholeness.

In order to fix many problems of modern society, we need to awaken as intuitive, feminine healers. We need to embrace the knowledge we’ve known for centuries but have forgotten in our collective slumber.

You are needed.

This revolution has already started. And as more women begin to embody the archetypes of healer, priestess, wild woman, medi-

30 cine woman, and goddess, we begin to awaken All you need to do is let it happen. And I prom- the healing nectar of feminine consciousness. ise, it will.

Again. Because you are asking to awaken a quality of your soul that already exists. You are needed. You are needed. This feminine consciousness embraces a few qualities: FINDING COMMUNITY listening The journey of a feminine healer becomes easier trusting nature within community. doing no harm requesting divine assistance And I’m convinced the divine feminine does not healing within community want us healing alone.

And all people, men and women, benefit from Through community, we can heal together. We these qualities. can share knowledge. And we can feel supported, even in the darkest depths of HOW TO BEGIN transformation. If you wish to activate your gifts, you simply have to ask. Because when we heal through the mysteries of the feminine, transformation always takes place. Ask to be shown your path. Community takes many forms: through girl- Feel within your body the medicine of your soul. friends, through schools, through spiritual communities, through social media. What matters And begin to really investigate where you can most is the feeling of give and take; of contribut- awaken these qualities. ing and receiving.

Through listening to a girlfriend’s pain. You are needed. Through researching herbal remedies. Through lying down on the earth. You are needed. Through working with a mentor. There are as many ways to heal as there are peo- Through prayer. ple in this world. And chances are there is a woman out there looking for your special laugh-

31 ter, your kind heart. Your ability to weave stories, or your ability to transform pain. Your skills in the healing arts, or your talents as a musician or artist.

Your talents are a special gift to the universe.

And the Goddess whispers to you… You are needed.

Lizzie Swartz is a flower essence therapist, light worker, and mentor for creative women. She believes every woman has the power to heal herself.

Lizzie is a Master-Instructor of Integrated En- ergy Therapy, a modality for getting the "issues out of the tissues," and a reiki Master- Teacher.

She is also a graduate of the Woman Rising Flower Essence Practitioner Program. She is currently studying acupuncture and herbalism at the American College of Traditional Chinese Medicine.

Lizzie currently lives in San Francisco with her husband and a garden of magical flowers. For more information about her work, visit her beautiful website.

32 SEPTEMBER - “For I have known a great many wildernesses. Even when the ADELINA fires came and the rain left. Even when this body caved in like SARKISYAN a secret in the mountains. The wild flesh of joy consumed me. ” — Adelina Sarkisyan

“When you feel you are being moved by the creative spirit, you are in fact being moved by the divine feminine,” writes Teri De- gler in The Divine Feminine Fire.

This is what the sacred feminine embodies: a creative energy. A cosmic, feminine force. The feminine is, after all, the root of all creation. When we want to create, all we have to do is call upon Her.

That is the beauty of language. The creative spirit.

33 When I am at a loss for words, my mind thinks In “Poetry is Not a Luxury,” Audre Lorde writes, back to women past, specifically a character “For each of us as women, there is a dark place called Scheherazade. In The Arabian Nights, within where hidden and growing our true spirit Scheherazade uses her storytelling to weave rises . . . Within these deep places, each one of magic so strong, she enchants the King and be- us holds an incredible reserve of creativity and comes a Queen—a wild woman of Story. power, of unexamined and unrecorded emotion and feeling. The woman's place of power within The realm of story feels familiar to our eyes, ears, each of us is neither white nor surface; it is dark, it tongues. Of course it does. That is where we is ancient, and it is deep.” were birthed. We are all natural storytellers. We are a force of this divine feminine energy. The in- At the seat of our souls, we all have stories. We spiration to create is just the beginning. Inspira- are all She who decided her story was sacred. tion by definition means ‘the drawing in of the di- Scheherazade, Plath, Oliver, Kahlo, Sexton, vine unto the soul.’ When you feel inspired to Woolf, Bronte, Teasdale, Nin, O'Keefe―drops in write, you are essentially breathing in the sacred the sea of the feminine womb: a place where feminine into yourself. women circle together to dream and create and ruminate. We are no different. It’s time to let our As bell hooks writes in remembered rapture: the stories do their work in the world. So speak more, writer at work, “No black woman writer in this cul- write more, create more, share more. ture can write ‘too much.’ Indeed, no woman writer can write ‘too much’ . . . No woman has It is through our stories that we unravel. ever written enough.” It is through our stories that we transform.

That is Herstory. Yourstory. Poetry is the light, quiet fire of the soul, writes Adelina Sarkisyan—poet, writer, editor and crea- Let your intuition guide you. If at times you feel tive on a mission to re-sacralize the creative femi- the melancholia hovering, remember that as we nine. A journey it has been, to come home to the are creating, we also destroying. There is a rea- seat of her soul and hear its soft son why the term ‘The Sylvia Plath Effect’ was whisper: welcome. coined. We as women, as creatives, move in cycles. The lightness of being. The darkness of be- Beneath this form, her story is of many women in ing. As women, we must continue living in the in- one—the unfinished woman—drawn deeply to between. We must continue creating. We cannot knowledge: reading, learning and studying; stop. magic: poetry, solitude and sacredness; world: nature, culture and wildness; and otherworld: light,

34 shadow and energy. Rooted in degrees in Anthropology, Women’s Studies, Criminology and Social Work, her work as healer and poet is brimmed with realms of self-creation, womanhood, spirituality, melancholia, nature, culture, language, mysticism and the wild feminine.

Her journey to poetry began as a child, where she wrote short, metaphysical stories and immersed herself in fairy tales and books. Only when I am within myself, can I feel the creative spirit, she cries, and I write, write, write. In a way, words are small pieces of magic. I find them tucked away everywhere: in trees and oceans and candles and books and people.

Adelina Sarkisyan currently dwells in Los An- geles, California, between the ocean and the willow trees, where she works as Editor for Over the Moon Magazine and writes and speaks on the beautiful simplicity of being. Her work continues to be a place for women to circle—to breathe, to dream, to unravel, to love—in the underground gardens of the soul.

She now continues her craft with the upcom- ing release of a mentoring program, where she will use poetry and spirituality to guide women to reach within and hear the whispers of their own divinity.

Find more about Adelina and her work on her website.

35 OCTOBER - MY BODY IS MINE JENNIFER MARTINEAU When a relationship ends that leaves me shaking after the dust settles and no recognition of the person that is looking back at me from the mirror, a road trip is my medicine of choice. The landscape needs to change so that I can. When I’m in a new place, so different than the daily grind, I can watch people and just take ab- sorb their behaviors as strangers. Lately, my curiosity has been most captured by watching women watch women. I’m an adven- turous lone wolf. I like to pretend it’s by nature. However, watching women watch women, I am reminded of how hostile we women are to each other. Maybe my lone wolf ways aren’t so natural.

When a woman walks by another, particularly if the women walks by in confidence, there is thinly veiled contempt in the eyes of the watcher. “Who does she think she is?” “How dare she stand out?” I know what she’s thinking. Part of the reason is because those

36 words have been said to me. The other part of patched beaten up cutoffs and thrift store t-shirt. the reason I know is because I’ve thought those Other women in their twenties, with the media en- thoughts myself. dorsed body shape wearing head to toe designer brands have walked through a crowd without a A very close friend of mine told me she was con- single side glare. fronted recently. “You just do whatever you want!” were the words that got spat out at her. It Women who are the most often the victim of this wasn’t a compliment. It wasn’t said with admira- subtle and powerful female on female aggression tion. all share one thing in common. They do what they want. They exude confidence. They flow A self-directed wild woman is a threat, isn’t she? through a space with a wild grace. They love We as a collective are terrified of that. How easily themselves. They refuse to be complicit with the we blame it on the men. I’m not convinced it’s abuse of women. their fault. Women sure do love to keep other women in check. It is easier to witness that moment happening towards another woman than one’s self. In those There were bullies at my school. I was often the moments, when I see a woman not understand- target. When I would come crying to my mother ing her jealousy as a call to action in her own life, about that day’s cruelty, she told me, “They’re I want to take her hands in mine, look into her just jealous.” This was not at all helpful in the mo- wounded eyes, and say with all the love I have, ment. It is also not untrue. “Honey, we all make choices. You can choose to be all that you want to be, too.” When you are a victim of the side glare, you have embodied something that is desired. If you are I know it’s not easy. There are so many forces the perpetrator of the side glare, you are experi- working against you. You’ve been told you’re not encing jealousy. And jealousy is an amazingly use- enough. You’ve been told you can only love your- ful signal. You have just been in the presence of self when you’ve met certain conditions. You’ve something that you wish you were. been told you are only worthy of that badass out- fit when the number on the scale fits some stan- This is not a matter of size or color or fitness level dard dreamed up in a marketing boardroom. or age. Women have received the side glare at You’ve been told that you should keep quiet. 250 pounds or at 95. Women have received the You’ve been told your happiness depends on do- side glare when tall or short. Women of all skin ing what you’re told. You’ve been told that life shades have received the side glare. At 42 years can only be good if you’re in a romantic partner- old, I’ve received the side glare wearing my old, ship. I know. It’s not easy.

37 I know that you have thought patterns that make you terrified that all those horrible things that society, your partner, your ex, your parents, your pervy uncle, media, your kindergarten teacher, your “friends” have said about you are true.

It’s not easy to walk through the world filled to the brim with self love. It’s so simple, though. You don’t have to pay thousands of dollars in therapy. (Unless you enjoy paying someone to listen to you. I sometimes do. It’s a singular pleasure to have someone’s full attention.)

You don’t have to go on a quest to “ﬁnd yourself” Fuck that noise. You’re not hiding behind a dune or stuffed away in a closet somewhere.

The true victim of the side glare is not the wild, confident women walking through the crowd. It’s you, the one who’s eyes have to keep reminding you what you want so badly with intense staring. Your emancipation from the slavery in which chronic jealousy keeps you shackled begins with these four words: MY BODY IS MINE. Does that feel a little anticlimactic? Is that too subtle? It’s not really something that can be packaged and sold to you, is it? Not a whole lot of bells and whistles on this. Yes, it’s subtle. So is the side glare and yet, the power of the side glare shreds you up every time. The power of these four words is not to be underestimated. MY BODY IS MINE. It belongs to no one else. It is not to be touched or talked about or treated in anyway that you do not endorse with a full-body yes. It is certainly not to be injured or abused. When we do not claim our bodies, when we do not take back our sovereignty, we become complicit in the abuse that seems to be everywhere. MY BODY IS MINE. Your skin is yours to caress with the world, to massage, to excite. Your muscles are yours to move in whatever way gives you the greatest pleasure. Your hair is yours to buzz, chop, lock, braid, mohawk, tease, color, or wear down to your knees. Your face, your exquisite, one of a kind face is yours to show to the world with pride. Your organs are yours to nourish. Your feet are yours to move across the earth in whatever way gives you chills, whether to dance across the floor or to tickle with mud through your toes. Your orgasm is yours and you will find that the best ideas do not come spilling out from between your ears but peek out from beneath your skirt. Your eyes are yours to take in the world in whatever way you find most beautiful. Fill your ears with whatever sounds you love most. Your tongue is yours to explore all the things you can possibly taste. Your body is yours to take on the best adventures be-

38 cause tomorrow’s body will be shaped by what today’s body does.

Your body is going to age if you are lucky. You are going to wrinkle and be covered in age spots. Your hair is going to whiten. Your eyes ability to see will dim. Yet, if you do what you want with this body that belongs to only you, your old body will still be the victim of the side glare. Everyone will see it: there goes an old woman who does what she wants.

I want a world full of strutting women; fearless females with ferocious appetites for themselves, wild women who take their sovereignty seriously, happy women who meet the side glare with wide, loving smiles. I want a pack of women with swagger, a pack so enormous that there is no one left on the side- lines side glaring in jealousy.

The only price of admission into this pack? Repeat after me: MY BODY IS MINE.

Jennifer is a certified nutritional therapist practitioner, artist, dancer and writer. She has been in the healing profession for over 20 years. The modalities she has worked in range from massage therapy, yoga, personal training, herbalism, lifestyle coaching, and nutritional therapy. To- day, she creates workshops, writes, and makes art.

"I am passionate about empowering people to become their own authorities. It is potent medicine in itself to discover one's own healing potential through practical changes in lifestyle, with food as the foundation. The body constantly amazes me with its innate wisdom. It is never wrong." I invite you all to check out her art, het story and listen to her podcasts on her website.

39 NOVEMBER - The Business of Connection. MELISSA TAL

I was in a meeting this week with six highly intelligent, open minded humans and I said the following phrase… “the new paradigm of business”.

I was given the 12-eye roll salute.

I left the meeting engulfed in consideration about this reaction. My “New Paradigm” was disregarded as some kind of esoteric, new aged rhetoric.

It got me to thinking how undefined business is right now; how being in business and creating new business in the current moment of time is new territory for all kinds of reasons. It also got me to thinking how more mainstream thought and conversation should be going into the big picture to really take advantage of the change in the individual mindset that’s starting to take place.

40 So I am here today to start a conversation. Capitalism stands as a way for people to have the freedom to create gain from their unique creative From where I sit I see a kind of access to technol- outputs. It is a wonderful circle of giving and re- ogy, information and the global marketplace like ceiving when applied in a socially minded way. never before. The traditional limits have been de- molished. It's never been easier to become a busi- Real active social capitalism (that’s not socialism – ness owner. So you can go out and choose; who please don’t misunderstand, I mean ‘social’ as in you want to do business with, how you want to morally, environmentally & economically consider- do it & what you want to get paid to do that. You ate) is when human kindness, environmental im- get to write the rules. All good news! pact and economic accountability are held as equally important as profit. Yet. Many people do not want to own and run their own businesses. Rightfully so. I know first One would be hard pressed to look around and hand, as someone who started my first business not see that the profit first, human, environmental at age 19 (cough...17 year ago!), that the risks & economic impact last mentality has rained su- and investments go far beyond time and preme for far too long at far too high a cost. money. Many people make incredible careers of far reaching success in contributing their own When you break down all the different issues kind of genius to companies created by others. listed above, like gender inequality, pay gaps, minimum wage workers below the poverty line, Yet it is clear that there is a problem. Gender ine- profit over environmental sustainability and so quality, pay gaps, minimum wage workers below on, they all share one very big similarity: the busi- the poverty line, profit over environmental sustain- ness double standard. ability, no moral or legal accountability in the chemicals used in products, decisions made sim- 'The business double standard' can be basically ply to improve cost margins, no moral account- summed up with one commonly used sentence. ability in dealings full stop, are just a few that come to mind when I consider the current state “Its business; its not personal” of play. I can't even tell you how many times this line has So where is the solution found? been used on me over the years when I was sitting on the very wrong end of a deal. It’s a “kill or I am not here to throw in the towel on capital- be killed” approach to business and it’s the so- ism. In fact i proudly call myself a capitalist. I cially accepted way to operate in the “business am simply a socially minded one. world”.

41 I just want to point out a couple of things, which rect communities & workplaces for this collective instantly come up for me regarding this approach future change. to business. Number one; the most important ﬁrst step (in • From what I understand & what I believe is sup- my mind anyway), to really begin creating a ported by a fair majority of the science commu- “solution revolution” is connection. nity, as it stands there is only one world as we know it. Not a supposed “business” one & then Arthur Aron of the Interpersonal Relationships another one, you know the other world where Lab at Stony Brook University in New York, cre- people act with sound moral accountability and ated an experiment he called "The Experimental respect. Generation of Interpersonal Closeness".

• If one person is dealing with another person, It was constructed of two complete strangers, about decisions that will impact both people – it tasked with asking 36 questions as they sat face is, unquestionably a person issue. It’s personal. to face.

• Most people spend more time working than His paper has been taken and used in several any other activity – it is a life majority & for almost high profile studies showing a considerable, and everyone, it is a means of being able to provide incredible outcome. On completion of the task basic living standards for them & their family. the majority of participants felt a great (rated That’s pretty personal too. high) level of connection to the person they part- nered with, (some even fell in love and got mar- So now we have established there is no “business ried – no joke!) and more so, when participants world” and separate nice “other world” and we were asked, they said they would be less likely to have established that it is undeniably personal. commit a hurtful act towards that person, and more so, would go out of their way to help them We also know, this is a big, complex issue. So I’m in the future. left asking, what is the better way forward? Where do we start? This method, the simplicity, of just asking each other 36 questions, which takes about 45 minutes I don’t have the total solution for this. A total solu- of time to complete, is a game changer for tion will involve many smart, innovative and crea- connection. tive humans to work together to make major change happen, but I do have some suggested So how could this be applied on a large scale? starting points to prepare ourselves and our di-

42 Imagine a company of 2,000 people, most of whom only really know their immediate peers, and even then, sometimes only on a surface level. Then make this a once a month activity – the last Friday of each month, you are paired with someone you don’t know, and you run through a set of questions. Or 10,000 people from around the globe on Skype calls.

All of a sudden, you start removing the separation and replacing it with communication to create connection and with connection there is collaboration and when people collaborate, great things are created (think Apple - computer hardware people collaborating with computer software people).

This doesn’t even touch on the deep and far reaching social and psychological impact for what is fast being recognized as an over crowded society that feels a sense of deep individual isolation.

On a more personal level, imagine going into business with someone, but first, sitting down for 45 minutes to ask these questions. I have a deep understanding of the importance of the questions you are asked, and that which you ask another, at the meeting point of business relationships & I can tell you with assurance, this simple task is everything.

Connection, human connection, is step number one.

Don’t feel alone in your fight for change. There are great things already happening. Look at Dan Price at Gravity Payments, for example.

He announced on NBC earlier this year that within a two years of a stepped pay rise plan he will make the minimum wage in his company $70,000 p/a (cutting his own wage from $1.1 million to $70,000 to afford it) because you “simply can not survive on anything less”.

People are calling him a socialist – yet in the ﬁrst 6 months his company’s growth tripled, proﬁt margins are up & client retention is a staggering 95%.

The numbers don’t lie. Nor does the public interest – the video aired by NBC of the announcement has become the most watched & shared video in the networks history & Harvard is doing a study track- ing the company’s success.

43 There is a lot of talk about self love & self care, meditation & movement, which is all valid & necessary, but let's not forget collaboration & connection as key ingredients to a better future for all. It is not ok to be dishonest, disrespectful to both nature and people nor discriminative in the name of “better business profit” and now is the time to change.

Maybe this shouldn’t be called “The New Paradigm”, maybe this morally accountable, kind hearted, interconnected, collaborative approach to business – should simply be called “Business”.

In short. I create stuff. I enjoy it. Also sunshine & the beach. I enjoy that too.

-Melissa Tal

44 DECEMBER - Saved By The Dirt BROOKE HAMPTON

I spent the younger part of my childhood running barefoot on the gorgeous beaches of Long Island. Sunshine, wind, salt water, earth …these beautiful parts of our Earth filled up my soul as a child. I was deeply connected to my Earth Mother as a child, even though I wasn’t consciously aware of that fact.

I had moved to Texas after I met my partner, and was living in sub- urbia. I spent nearly all my time indoors. I didn't ever walk around barefoot or play in the wild water.

To make matter worse, I was losing myself in an attempt to try and blend into community I was living in, and my soul was suffering greatly. I was depressed, unhealthy, and dealing with an intense amount of anxiety. I was lost. I was drinking too much and too often in an attempt to calm myself down.

45 I really was trying to dig myself out of the hole I was in. I was going to therapy, church, the spa…you name it, and I had probably tried it. I was no longer painting, writing or dancing. My creative edge and uniqueness were slowing fading. I was scared...scared of death, and scared of life. I was becoming the walking dead. I had a beautiful home, a good man, and sweet loving children and yet, I felt so empty. I remember having this constant ache for home; a home that I was searching for, but couldn't find.

Well, when my oldest daughter was 4, someone gave her a tomato plant as a gift.

I tried my best to give it back, but the gift giver refused it.

I told him, “we aren’t gardeners, we’ll certainly kill it.”

He responded with, “You need that plant and it needs you”

I look back on that moment and it’s hard not to get emotional. I am so glad that man listened to his intuition. This may seem dramatic, but I believe that plant saved my life.

I couldn’t just let it die, so I decided to try my hand at planting for the first time EVER. I meant to go get gardening gloves, but didn’t have time that day. So, I went into the backyard with the kids, and we dug a hole with a kitchen spoon. I had my hands in the dirt, and found it hard to pull them out. That night I slept like a baby. The next day my partner commented and said, “Wow, you look so happy today.”

I REMEMBER THINKING, ‘IT CAN’T BE THE DIRT’ ...HOW INSANE WOULD I SOUND IF I TRIED TO TELL SOMEONE THAT PLAYING IN THE DIRT HELPED ME SLEEP. HA!

I went and bought more plants, and more, and then some more. Within a year, I was spending the majority of my free time outdoors. I started to feel alive again. Within 12 months, we manifested an old farm house into our lives and moved out of the city, into the country. I started tending the land on our little farm, and never looked back. I belong close to the Earth, and I will never again live somewhere that keeps my bare feet off the Earth and my hands out of the mud. I began to reconnect with my intuition and slowly but surely reconnected with my inner wild woman.

It’s been a beautiful journey back to myself.

46 7 years later, and I am here- Healthy, strong, connected, and fully present in this moment. I am remembering who I am.

I can feel the creative energy flowing through my veins. I hear the song in the wind, and the whispers in the trees. The moon calls my name. I can feel the mood of our Earth Mother in the dirt, and I can hear her stories. She needs me and I need her; we are one body.

This is my life, and I am alive. I have found my way back to myself through my Earth Mother.

I was saved by the dirt.

Guardian of three wild and wonderful little earth warriors. Loyal friend to some of the most wonderful and beautiful souls on the planet. Mama to many sweet creatures and beloved plants. Defender of light, Mother Nature, unconditional love, magic and beauty. Author of the Waldorf inspired children's book Enchanted Cedar: The Journey home. Owner of Enchanted Cedar in Texas. Earth warrior, inspiration Goddess, living food lover, organic gar- dener, wolf mama, Queen of the Reishi, wild water huntress, loves mistress, book reader, home apothecary/kitchen witch, tea addict, love-maker, RH negative alien, naked moon dancer, sun gazer, herbalist, barefoot mama.

I highly advice you to check out this amazing woman here at Barefoot Five!

47 2

SOUL SISTERS

Having a soulmate is not always about love. You can find your soulmate in a friendship too. I did.

She lives oceans away from me, but I can feel her close every second of every day.

Her art goes straight to the heart. Meet Melissa, my soul sister. CONNECTED BY SOUL

Two hearts.

Connected by the soul.

Connected by the moon.

I will ﬁnd you.

In each lifetime.

I’ll be there.

Always.

Soon.

-Iris

xlix 50 51 52 53 3 GODDESSES FROM AROUND THE WORLD

A collection of inspiring stories and art work from all over the world.

Let us be seen. Let us be heard. Let us be felt.

OUR WILDISH NATURE

"When women reassert their relationship with the wildish nature, they are gifted with a permanent and internal watcher, a knower, a visionary, an oracle, and inspiratrice, an intuitive, a maker, a creator, an inventor, and a listener who guide, suggest and urge a vibrant life in the inner and outer worlds. When women are with the Wild Woman, the fact of that relationship glows through them." ~Clarissa Pinkola Estés

lv WHEN WOMEN When women rise, the Earth sings RISE Chloro-filled life teems with joyous being Branches reach upward, gnarled ancient fingers grasping in exaltation Dormant seeds sprout – full, ecstatic, re-rooting The planet becomes pregnant with possibility...

Life quivers, and dances forth to the wise old song.

When women rise, a new fire crackles Hearts ablaze, sister passion enkindles Love alights – shining, beaming, guiding Holding the space of warmth, a gathering embrace The blisters of oppression smolder and cool...|

Life ignites! Sparks fueled by desire for revitalization fly forth.

When women rise, a sweet breeze blows Thick with blossom, beaming bees, breath of Life Eloquent, swirling, inspiring, unfurling Sighing serene relief – deep and easing The air flows clear, carrying forth winds of transformation...

Life takes the in-breath, wholly, fully.

When women rise, the tides flow forth meeting soil in the union of fertility Water runs wild, washing old wounds, caressing soft curves, encapsulating thousand-fold of fallen tears And within this confluence of restoration, ripple waves of awareness that travel oceans of remembering...

Life drinks the fertile juices of Life itself in euphoric re-embodiment.

When women rise, I weep for the eons of oppression, aggression, repression, the use and abuse, the isolation, silencing, the violation – bodies petrified, objectified, terrorized. The tears, the years of self-loathing, confusion, disillusioned. The take, can’t escape, the rape of Life – the dark shadow of entitlement with no respecting, rever- ence, nurturing, LOVING.

When women rise, I weep absolute complete joy, freedom to be, authentic, to see circles of women gathering, slathering love, life, light shining the way through shadows – courageous, soulful, outra- geous union divining, inspiring, resurrecting, consecrating – singing hymns of spirit. The re-birthing of natural rhythms- reflecting, protecting, projecting the beauty and wholeness of true balance.

Rise beloved sisters, RISE!

Alison Ramsay

Director, Body Enlightenment New Zealand/ Australia

57 SAVE YOUR SEEDS, SAVE YOUR SOIL, SAVE YOUR SOUL

Women possess the innate knowledge of obser- Seeds survive because they are resilient and vation. Even though in recent times with been adaptable, like women. I want you to know, tricked to ignore our knowledge. Previously we whomever controls the seeds controls our future knew how to connect our own fertility cycles, the of food and the type of life we have on Mother migration of animals, moon phases and the the Earth. We play a substantial role in the survivabil- seasons. Our knowledge of the cycles led women ity of the human species through our daily food to influence the wild landscape to feed our ba- choices. bies and ultimately women developed agricul- Who do you want to control the seeds? I dare all ture. Woman have been saving and moving women to simply save seed from your beloved seeds around for around 20,000 years. We led a garden flower or that luscious heirloom tomato. communal life where all material goods were Perhaps you could let your garden lettuce go to shared with our sisters. Women honored their flower to feed the nectar loving pollinators and bodies and other women just as they valued the then share the lettuce seed with your sisters? A sacredness of Mother Earth. simple internet search will demonstrate it is not at Women kept their bodies well through the move- all challenging to save seed. The seed companies ment needed to gather and cook seasonal foods. only make you believe it's troublesome so they Once you are able to reconnect with your ancient have the control and you will buy new seeds from sensual self you may find you are also craving to them each year. A benefit of saving your own get closer to Mother Earth. Closeness to her can seed is developing plants over time that grow be achieved by simply sitting outside in the sun- well in your soil and climate. shine or by tending to her soil. You can stay in If what I wrote is resonating with you, consider at- touch with Mother Earth and her seasonal cycles tending a local seed exchange instead of buying through planting and harvesting the fruits, nuts new garden seeds in the spring or start a seed li- and seeds you need to feed yourself. brary to share seeds with your sisters and your Tending to plants and cooking with my harvest of community. Pay attention to the amazing work herbs and seeds it is one of my spiritual witchy Vandana Shiva is doing and I’ll leave you with a practices. Gardening gets me to touch ,embrace, quote from her too. imbibe Mother Earth. She is so much like our own Amber Dawn fertile wombs

Seeds are messengers from our feminine past.

“There are two trends. One: a trend of diversity, democracy, freedom, joy, culture—people celebrating their lives.

And the other: monocultures, deadness. Everyone depressed. Everyone on Prozac. More and more young people unemployed.

We don’t want that world of death.

We would have no hunger in the world if the seed was in the hands of the farmers and gardeners and the land was in the hands of the farmers.

They want to take that away.”

- Vandana Shiva

59 RED WOMEN : “Rediscover, the golden light within your being. MEDICINE WOMEN SACRED Enrapture, and up lift, to the bliss filled states of divine union. AWAKANING OF Dreamlike wonder, returning feminine, nourishment for the Soul. THE WILD FEMININE Weave, and flow, to grow. ARCHETYPE Omit that which does not serve your highest purpose.

Mend the divine masculine/feminine wounds within psyche.

Express gratitude at every opportunity.

Now Rise.”

Brandie Kohl

60 REMEMBERING TIME

When I was a little girl I would dig my hands in Two years later and there was a drunk man the dirt and make mud pies with my grandma’s in my mother’s bed who was soon to become my good silver. I would swing on the anchors of giant stepfather. I still dug my hands in the dirt and ran ships docked outside the windows of my play- around chasing rainbows. My parents were ground and walk barefoot on sharp rocks and hot formed by stories of their own. Two lost souls sand to make stronger the callouses on the soles who were left seeking. Searching for love when of my feet. I would spend hours brushing my they had it all along. Poor things. Alcoholism is a grandma’s long, thick, silver hair, which by the dark shadow and we were standing in it with feet way, turned that color before her 20th birthday on broken glass in too many late night stakeouts. and put on her red lipstick in front of a gilded mir- In our pajamas. At 2am. Sunken down in the back- ror bigger than I was. My great grandmother was seat of the car outside the bar where there is no a Witch, and she would feed me cherries, cov- place for children. It was a time of Lies and De- ered in chocolate, covered in secrets, in her tiny ception and a sad role model for two young girls bedroom with a closet that I was sure led to se- learning to be women. cret gardens, even though I could never find them. When I was 10 I sang in the choir. I met a man named Jesus and I liked him, I did. He was a When I was a little girl my sister and I would pretty righteous dude. My mom met him too, but chase rainbows running barefoot for miles. I guess he was having a bad day because her ver- You could do that then. We were lucky and had a sion of him did not seem to smile at me. blessed early childhood. We were raised in the womb of the Mother Ocean and saw the sun rise When I was 11 I met magic by way of a secret cir- and set as fisherman’s daughters are aught to do. cle and dreams of witches. My best friend, she and I, I and she. We were Mystical. Magical. And When I was 5 years old I stood on my mother’s Free. We wrote poetry and burned candles. We bed and watched my father drive away with tears consulted spirits and danced in awe of the stars. in my eyes. She loved him. She did. But she was young and did not know how to be happy in that At 12 I was happy because my mother was leav- love. He loved her. But he did not know how to ing him. But then my little sister came. I loved fight for her. her, and Wow.

61 What magic comes from such misery. He tried to parchment, books on witchcraft, magic, the God- change but for me it was. too. late. When she dess. She made me sleep on her bedroom floor turned two, I gave her a plastic wand tapping her while she, my aunt and the pastor of their church nose and wishing her Love. My step dad broke it. banished the spirits of evil with holy water and And me. With harsh words at excessive volumes. prayed over my tortured soul.

At 13 I lost the One Pure Thing that was Mine to Poor things. She took me out of school and put Give. In the worst possible way. I cried to the me in the church where the pastor psychiatrist Mother, WHY?! and on my 14th birthday, the sum- desperately tried to convince me of the devils mer before high school, I waded into her waters, way in my heart. I tried to explain. but they heart deep, head just above waves crashing and would. not. listen. So I lied. I claimed reform. cried. Just. Take. Me. But She said, NO. You are And I got to go back to school. But there were pri- not finished yet. vate eyes with baseball bats labeled as reporting teachers and guidance counselors. Why could My freshman year of high school brought on soul they not just let me be. I made the honor role. I mates old and new. Deeper insights, bare feet, didn’t do drugs. Who was I hurting? I left school drumming, circles and flowers in my hair. A circle in the middle of the day and did not go home. to create love and feel free. Feel the wind, touch the breeze, hug a tree. I dug my hands in the dirt I went to the woods and spent the night with the and chased rainbows. One day I came home with stars. It was Samhain. When I saw my mother two a pentacle drawn on my hand and you’d have days later she swore I was high but no, it was thought the sky. had. fallen. My mother’s Jesus much simpler than that. I was tired of walking in panicked. And reacted with a force. i finally felt fear’s shadow. I was reaching out and owning my happy. But she said, NO. It was the wrong way. Truth. It was a Path of Purity and Light and it was Words like, devil, evil, heathen, satanist and my RIGHT. But still she would not could not see witch, spit off her tongue like wildfire trying to it. catch the hem of my flowered skirt. I left home three more times before I went to live So I lied. To just have peace. However false. with my dad. He saw the poetry in my soul. Good Because I loved her and wanted to be loved by Goddess, thank you for that man. But woman. Oh her. But there was too much magic that poured the woman. What is it with the women who stand out of me and that JOY could not be hidden. in Fear and Judgement and Persecution. My step- One day while away, I “saw” my mother in my mother slapped my face and ransacked my bed- bedroom, finding my secrets. She called me room claiming black magic in her house. It didn’t home laid out my crystals, spells scrawled on work out so well there.

62 But still, my father came through. We lived on the Because now I was a mother 18 years old, baby at boat and were happy for awhile all under the my breast. Yearning. Yearning. For something. A guise of work. A fisherman’s daughter I was. But man found me. Wanting. With eyes like dia- for a marriage’s sake, he let go of me and I was monds and a purr like a kitten but a kitten he was on my own. I didn’t blame him. not. For an entire year of my precious daughter’s life I was abused. Used. And in Fear. When she I was 15. I worked. I went to school. I slept on the turned 2, I ran away. Again. beach and on rooftops and on the floors of friends with blessings for parents. Somehow I This time I was done hiding. My best friend came. made it. When I was 16 my mother and little sis- My sister. My supernova. And we drove. We lived ter moved to Colorado. My step dad’s home and loved the open road in a little old travel state. She let me move back into my childhood camper called Miss Bliss. Magic surrounded us. home with my older sister. My boyfriend came Beauty fell at our feet in drops of stardust and I with me and one year later I was pregnant. My remembered. Everything. We were creating our dad said abort the mission. But I could not. I destiny. Two soul friends and an ancient wise could not. He was scared. I was too. Because her woman in the guide of a toddler. She led the way father was not a soul mate. I tried. I did. But love and taught us a new kind of freedom. When the cannot be grown on the outside when there is so road ended, another journey began as is the only much turmoil within. So he left me. It wasn’t his way. fault. But he left her too. I needed my mother. As for me and my flower child, we went back to So I gave up my Soul and the ocean’s womb the ocean, then the mountains, then the forests for my mother’s acceptance and warm embrace. and rivers, the great redwoods, the volcanic is- I went to the mountains. I gave away my books, lands, one side of this country to another, up my crystals, and cards. I was doing this. All the down and then back again, until finally we found way. I should have known the Goddess ourselves at the foot, of a mountain of the sun would not let me go that easy. where the flower was born and it was 10 years later. A decade of wings spread. Here now to dig Because when her skin touched my skin and our deep roots and find a different way to live. There eyes met and our hearts beat out the incredible were more trials. More flames to walk through. sound of absolute Love oh my Child. With her by But with my daughter. My best friend. My soul’s my side I would never again question Divinity. But Purpose and the Goddess inside me, beside me still. I was young and the Reclaiming was not every step of the way and now. Settled. Happy. done. I found yoga and was a step closer to re- The Mystic. The Yogi. The Woman. The Teacher. membering but still scared and lonely. Believing again in Me.

63 And then one day I came upon a man with magic The bliss and blessings of marriage and mother- in his eyes and feathers in his hair and decided hood, roots and responsibility take their own toll right then and there I was gonna marry that man. on our lives. We easily get swept up in taking And I did. Two years later. In a castle. In a circle of care of everyone else and the functions of every- love. With a fire breathing dragon above our day living. We forget that there is also the heads. No, really. Two gypsies that stopped long Spirit and Magic and Mystery that deserve our at- enough to find each other and discover a new tention. We need our Spirit to shine so path. One to walk together. that we are our best, to Priestess ourselves, our family, our world. My flower is 16 now, My Daisy. She takes beautiful pictures. Loves music and dinosaurs and thinks We all need ~Remembering Time~ the sun rises and sets in her little sister’s eyes, My Leelu, who is 2. My girls, who have and will grow I have not traveled this far to let it go now. And up differently than I did as I continue to nurture that Sisters ~ is why I stand among you now ~ the Goddess inside of them while allowing them sharing my story, which is your story, which is Her the freedom to choose their own way. My girls. story. Hands and Hearts joined in this Circle. Of We 3, who almost lost our lives this summer past Inspiration. Of Remembrance when a speeding car ran through red and crashed into the boundaries of life death and the That we are Goddesses. hearts of my children. The Goddess was with us We are that day because we lived. When every other pos- Walking Magic. sibility would have said otherwise. We. Lived. Aho. And I am So tired of only living half way and I will NOT DO IT ANYMORE. Brandi Woolf

There is a saying Use it or Lose it. And my Sisters, it is true. We must practice the Magic. We must show the Way. We must walk the Path. We must not allow Fear to block Our Truth. The path to forgetting is not hard and the road to Remembering is not always easy. So we must be Strong. We must be Brave. We must Priestess our own Way.

64 My religion is found in love.

SHE IS MY GOD My church rests peacefully under this fig tree.

My rituals are found in the change of the winds, the phases of the moon, the rise of the tides, and the whispers of night.

My prayers are sent to the sun, and my priests are amongst the branches of this old tree.

I confess to the roots, and they lend me their wisdom.

My strength is found flowing from sacred springs of living water.

My hymns are in the song lines of this beautiful earth.

My communion is found in my lovers embrace.

My Bible is written neatly within the constellations.

My soul finds peace in the rhythms of nature- she is my God.

Brooke Hampton

65 RITUAL

This one's for you as well have been lucky, compared to many other This one is for you Robin LaTrobe, teenage girls. The event of my first menstruation my badass warrior blood Sister and muse never scared nor worried me on a bodily level. "not all those who wander are lost" My mother was a GP and, when it came to bodily I believe in you! functions, there never was any taboo in our household, nor a 'bad timing' in teaching about them. All was discussed at the dinner table at any given 09.09.1992. I remember that day as if it were yes- night. So, I knew what I saw when I pulled down terday. It was a Monday afternoon, 5 pm. I was 13 my pants, I knew it was normal - if anything I felt years old and getting ready for my ballet class at relief that I was not being left-out by Nature 6 pm. My belly and back were aching and I felt (which was how I felt about the amount of breast heavy 'down there'. So I went to the toilet. tissue I had gained by that age, not so much) - and I had no shame in telling my mother what And I saw blood. had happened.

Staining my underpants. Not so very much, but I can only imagine what it must be like for a that dark red brown coloring was un-mistakingly young girl to transform into a young woman, there. I remember a turmoil of thoughts and emo- when it is accompanied by unknowing, fear, tions, ranging from excitement and relief, to con- shame or danger to one's integrity. cern as to what to do next. What about ballet class and that tiny thin suit I was supposed to None of that on 09.09.1992. It was normal. So wear? I called for my mum and explained the here's a tampon so you can go to ballet class. problem. So she gave me a tampon, some instruc- tions on how to use it and sent me on my way to And that's the problem I have with my mother's class by the time it was 5.30 pm. approach: too matter-of-fact. No taboo, yet no celebration either. 09.09.1992 was a special day in And that was that. And I was bloody 13. a certain girl's life - and it nearly went unnoticed but for my unwavering memory. Now, before my dear mother is pictured as cold Again, I do not blame my mother for I know and un-attentive, which she was not, let me ex- about her mother line, her mother wound. How press I do not blame her for responding the way she already came so far in breaking the taboos she did. Looking at a bigger picture, I might just she was raised with, how her matter-of-factness

66 was her treasure, her modernity, that she over? - she is a cup full of wisdom, ready to had fought for hard. Yet, this does not mean pour her Elixir of Life into a younger it was right - that she did right by me. How- woman's empty, eager cup. How can we not, ever, the problem was and is society's take but celebrate? on the event, not so much my mothers'. So what about those womanly events, that mark and influence our lives, that define our And I was bloody 13 - an uncelebrated girl- femininity? woman.

Why then, that call for celebration? Why is the biological explanation not enough, to just note it down as something ordinary? Es- pecially since it is the normality of things like moon-time, sexuality and menopause that is an argument often used by Sisters on the barricades for Self Expression (and rightly so!)? This is Life, Mother Nature embodied in an Because we are not just made of matter-of- ongoing cycle. It is within a woman's body fact Earth. We are also made of Star Dust. Of where the blueprint of Nature is so clearly Soul. displayed. In my opinion, that calls for more than a celebration when passing a mark on a That Soul needs to reside within us some- woman's life path - that calls for rites and rit- where. And I believe the Soul's Caer Wyrdyr, ual. its golden realm, is the Womb. Here, we find everything that defines our Stars Dust as well "Ceremony, rite, ritual refer to set obser- as our Earthly matter. She holds the mysteri- vances and acts traditional in religious serv- ous darkness, yet also brings forth the light ices or on public occasions. Ceremony ap- that is new life - in any shape or form. She plies to more or less formal dignified acts on holds both (re)birth and death within both religious or public occasions: a marriage her arms. She bleeds within to offer fertile ceremony; an inaugural ceremony. A rite is ground for creation. She bleeds out to an established, prescribed, or customary cleanse so we can start anew. The Womb form of religious or other solemn practice: continues to be a creative force of Nature in- the rite of baptism. Ritual refers to the form side and out. And when our moon-times are of conducting worship."

67 68 We climbed that hill - you and I together, sister. I found my clothes again. In the corner of my eye We had planned to do so in the middle of the I saw movement on the back of the White Horse night, but the wine of the previous evening had that watches over Dragon Hill. made us slow. So it was early morning before we arrived.. A group of men. With binoculars.

We were there to wake the dragon. I waved and exit 'the stage' by way of the stairs we had also just found. Giggling like two little I was ready to celebrate and embrace my fertile girls. Except for that grand womanly odeur that phase in life. I was ready to conceive, yet that nec- seemed to fume off our skin. "You have surely essary vital inner flow felt dormant - like a treas- given them a hard-on.", you said. Masculine en- ure kept securely locked inside a dragon's den. I ergy on the rise. needed to fire up the flow and enter the domain of life's mysteries. The feminine, the masculine, I am a midwife. chi. So... And so are you. Or at least you will be, if you are We were there to wake the dragon. able to live your wyld and feminine potential. To illustrate this, let's take a closer look to the ety- A hill is not called Dragon Hill for nothing. We mology of the word used for those that assist in climbed up its steep slopes, holding on to the childbirth, in various languages. The word 'mid- grass, while the wind tried to blow us off our feet. wife' is derived from Old English, and consists of Atop the hill the atmosphere changed - the air the words mid, meaning 'with', and wif, meaning felt warmer, the wind quieted down. And then it 'woman'. So midwife is she who is 'with woman'. began to rain. The Norwegian word is 'jordmor'. With jord meaning 'earth' and mor meaning 'mother'. Earth Fired up by the hill's energy I could not help my- mother, of mother of earth. In general it is be- self and (un)dressed myself in clouds and rain- lieved that 'earth' in jordmor refers to the fact drops. First we twirled, then danced, then that in older times women would birth their ba- stamped our feet on the ground and howled. bies on dirth floors, rather than referring to she Like any woman should howl, at least once in her who assisted the birth. However, another sugges- life. It came to a natural end - the rain subsided, it tion is that jord refers to the Old Norse jod, which grew colder, the wind picked up again. means 'foetus, child'.Another Scandinavian word for jordmor is ljosmor / lysmor, meaning 'light mother'. In Dutch, the older word for midwife is vroedvrouw. This word consists of vroede, mean-

69 ing 'wise, knowledge', and vrouw, meaning you think - setting up space to do this right here 'woman, wife'. and now.

Women embody the Earth and its intrinsic Wis- I didn't know what to say - you cradled me. I'd dom. We are Mother. For ourselves and each never been held, never been tended to, never other. We need to be 'with woman' in order to been defended that way. What you did for me, mirror ourselves within our femininity. We need to sister - helping me heal that part of me, my be 'with woman' when our womanhood needs womb, that had become a psychic trash can, was healing. We need to be midwives. amazing. A thing only a woman can do for another. Why have we forgotten this?! I told you about what happened, sister. How I was forced, and violated. How it had hurt me inside You got pretty fired up, you seriously returned and out. And how I felt the shame that burdens this box of old pain and oppression back to its the victim. Even though it had been years ago. previous owner. And then some. I'll never forget the end of it, the last kick in its "Have you reclaimed your womb?", you asked but, you suddenly left me at the fire and. Only to me. Say what?! come back with a bucket in which you took a piss.

"Have you packed the shite he burdened you "There!", you said, while pouring it over the fire, with and returned it to sender? And, have you re- "And then some!". claimed your womb?" What you give is what you get - it will return to I was speechless. you someday. And I have rarely felt so un-chained in my life... So I howled, like any woman should I hadn't thought of that - just like I often forget to do, at least once in her life. tend to myself and clean up after everybody else's mess that is left with me. Nor do I often We need feminine rites to heal, to bond, to em- clean up after my own. power, to ease the passing, to mark the moment. To be IN the moment, and therefore realize and We watched the smoke of the fire curl up at the sense who we truly are - goddesses. top of the straw roof of the Celtic Roundhouse. A beautiful full moon's night in a magickal Welsh So... place and faery forest, feeling the new-forged Have you celebrated your menarche? connection between us in my core. I could hear Do you celebrate your moon-times? Have you mourned the loss of your babies?

70 Have you mourned the passing of your maidenhood? Have you celebrated the onset of motherhood? Have you celebrated coming into your fertile, creative force? Have you celebrated your grey hairs? Have you marked your passing into the realms of the Crones? Have your celebrated your Sister's life after passing? Will you be midwife to your own? And howl, like any woman should? It is never too late...

A few weeks before you died, mama, I asked you if you were scared of passing that threshold. "Of course not!" you said. "I'll just hold your hand and your father's and step over." You thought again and added "just remind me not to use my right leg first because it is not stable and I do not want to stumble the moment I enter Death's realm!". I nearly pissed my pants.

You didn't hold our hands though, in the end.

You hugged us, but would not stop breathing. When I could no longer handle this, my father took me outside for a quick breather. And then you flew away. During that one minute or so. Too difficult it was for you to leave your man, too unnatural to abandon your baby girl. You needed to go alone - I hope you didn't stumble.

I washed you, mama, and closed your eyes. Silver coins I lay on them, for the Styx's ferry ride. A candle at your crown to lead the way. Red Ocre we used to dust the ship you were buried in, and red the earth that would hold you both. I tucked you into the Earth's bed with the lullaby you used to sing for me. The compass, made of symbols that represent you, still guides me North.

And I can not do otherwise than to live your motto "Voix avec le coeur", and howl.

Helene

71 WILD WOMAN “Burn me, Beat me, Brutalize me all you want. Dehumanize me, even.

I can take it, But I won’t take it. No, I wont.

Because you can never take the witch or the woman out of me.”

Words by Ali Schueler Photography by Brooke Rosenblum 72 SASKATOON'S FIRST RED TENT

I am still reeling with emotion, overwhelming joy, ize, we were never as alone or isolated as we had and gratitude at what unfolded at Saskatoon's believed. first ever Red Tent. I have been asked by numer- So while I can't even begin to try to do justice to ous people how it went and I am at a total loss at the bravery, courage, authenticity, love, and abso- how to convey the magic and transformation that lute MAGIC that unfolded, perhaps my attempt unfolded. It was more than I could have ever has given you a tiny sample, a taste of what in- imagined or dreamed!! nate power and deep healing can occur when How does one put into words the feelings, the women gather. emotions, the outpouring of love, that ancestral For a long time, I have felt that women are the feminine wisdom that is only really deeply felt key to healing this world. For me, this begins with within your bones while sitting in circle with myself. Gathering with other women provides women? How do I express that ALL of our insecu- such deep connection and wisdom that builds rities and shame and self doubt aren't just our such momentum for my ability to grow and own, but that EVERY woman carries their shad- evolve. ows buried deep within themselves? How do I express the pain, the burdens, the crippling grief, Women gathering with the purpose to empower the desires, the joy that we all suppress? and hold one another up, is a force unlike any I have experienced in my 33 years on this earth. To Whenever I sit in circle with women, and granted witness and SEE others for the beauty and divin- I have done this a number of times, I am always ity that is pouring out of them, and in really, floored at how our mind has convinced us that TRULY seeing them, I am able to begin seeing we are SO isolated, SO separate and SO differ- MY true authentic self, what a gift?!! What a gift! ent. Yet, when we gather together we very quickly realize that we are ALL struggling with something Deepest gratitude goes out to all the women in our lives. When we are able to vocalize our who attended! Special thanks to Virginia Heron fears and our doubts from a place of empower- and Jodie Olson for capturing the beautiful pic- ment, then sit in our true rawness and show our tures of the sacred space we shared. And special authentic self, all these lies and shame and doubt shout out to Natasha Salaash for suggesting that fall away. They lose their power over us. For a mo- I blog about the Red Tent (yes, Natasha, I am be- ment, we are no longer stifled. We are connect- stowing you credit for the loss of my blogging vir- ed! We can release. We can allow the emotions ginity!!). and the shadows to come forth, and by doing so we allow the light to shine through. And we real- Alauna Whelan

73 NATURE’S FORCE 'All art I create relates back to nature somehow. Despite what I paint, and what the emotional intent is behind the painting, it often features trees because that is where I feel most at home. I am comfortable in nature, and I see the color and vibrancy everywhere I look. I feel nature's force running through my veins and being able to paint from my soul is one of the many ways I release my Wild Woman, and she will always be deeply connected with nature.'

Jenny Hogg

74 WHEN I BECOME THE GODDESS ON MY GREAT GRANDMOTHER’S CUSHION

I sit down on my great grandmother’s cushion, I bring my awareness back to my breath. Breath- just moments after my son’s restless body finally ing in, my head becomes like the stillness of the becomes still in the center of our family bed. I Moon. Breathing out my body drops down into sneak away, quietly, not wanting to waste a pre- the Earth. cious moment of a Mother’s time alone. I sit patiently, awaiting the moment I become Her, To my cushion I bring shallow breathing and the again. Here I Am, eyes closed, on this pink thou- stresses of the day. I’m good at pacifying the con- sand petaled lotus, channeling streams of flowing cerns with positivity during the daylight, but gold, surrounded by elephants who pour a sea of when darkness comes, they rise and I prepare to milk and honey through my thirsty Soul. cast them at Her feet. I bring awareness back to my body. I slowly open I lower a small framed photo of Maha Lakshmi my eyes and gaze at Maha Lakshmi. She smiles at down from the wealth corner of our home and me, though not from the photo I see, but from place Her on the floor in front of me. I offer Her my Heart of Heart’s. My legs have fallen asleep, citrine, celestite, and fresh red flowers from the so I gently lift them and place them out to my garden. I offer Her fresh rosemary and a cup of sides. As the blood returns I rise slowly and take water to honor Her living beauty. up my sleeping place next to my son.

I light three candles in the formation of a downward facing triangle before I sit back and close Jillian A. Anderson, Writer, Mama, Teacher my eyes. Breathing in, I experience renewal. Breathing out, I experience relief. My mind wanders to an experience and I quickly cast it out at Maha Lakshmi’s feet.

I bring my awareness back to my breath and begin again. When my mind wanders to something that doesn’t involve becoming Her, I cast it at her feet with great force. Sometimes Kali Ma makes an appearance and destroys the contents of my mind with her deadly sword.

75 GRAN BWA.

THE VODOU "DEITY" OF THE WILD.

THE ANCIENT ONE.

JENNIFER MARTINEAU

76 THE JOURNEY

The Beginning! came to pick me up. I was far away out on the countryside and I had to wait a long time for the Born and raised in a moon landscaped little ambulance to arrive. fisher town in Iceland. My father was a fisherman and my mother worked in kinder garden. My fa- I woke up six days later in the hospital in respira- ther got so many ideas through the years but tor. One and a half month later the doctor fig- never really executed them. And you could say ured out that I would be better of at home with that he died with his song still inside of him. My my mom taking care of me. I believe it was abso- mother was a woman that lived for her children lute the right decision. I arrived home with a big and she had an amazing strength. She had a bag full of medicine. All sorts of medicine like for great intuition and was a pioneer at that time re- example to treat cancer, pain and fathom pains. garding health. My mother threw all of it straight to the garbage bin outside! I get the chills just wondering if I had The Trauma! eaten all of these pills. What a brave act my I have always been really fascinated of animals. I mother took. spent all my spare time and holidays at my un- In Between! cles’ farm were I got to spend time with the sheep’s, cows, horses, dogs, cats and the birds. I I never saw my self as a victim nor was I bitter had always asked my parents for a dog, but the about it. I just began school again like nothing answer was always no! I absolutely loved all the had happen and soon enough I discovered alco- animals and used to fall a sleep with them. If I hol and cigarettes and started partying. I fell in went missing everyone knew that I probably love with my husband and soon our daughter were fallen a sleep either with the cows or the was born and three years later a little boy joined sheep’s. us. We moved to Denmark and we both began studying and our third child was born. I was When I was 13 years old I got into a pretty bad really happy. accident were I literally got ripped a part by a transfer shaft. I lost my scalp, included ears and The Crash! eyebrows, my left arm, my spleen exploded, and I was driving with my husband and youngest boy some ribs got broken. on the 7. January 2004 and I “got” hit with the In that moment I collected amazingly big force worst feeling I ever have had. I was experiencing and decided not to die. I stood up and even death. Unbelievable difficult and heavy experi- though I was pretty much a mess I managed to ence, I thought of my children and family and keep my conscious awaken until the ambulance went through the same thinking as I can imagine

77 a dying person thinks. I was absolutely one hun- The Breakthrough! dred percent certain that I was dying. We rushed I could write many books about how I healed my to the hospital and there was nothing they could pains and how I managed to come to the other help me about because I wasn’t dying after all. side after walking the path of the dark night of Then they told me to go home. How can you just the soul. go home when you were dying and no explanation? This was only the beginning of my most dif- The number one first breakthrough for me was ficult work so far. The next two years I was in smiling. I read about a man that was dying of can- hell. I had constant panic attacks, every second cer and he lied in his bed waiting to die, but all of the day and I got no help from my doctor that of a sudden a feeling of gratitude came to him. just said there was something wrong with me in He looked at everything in his small hospital my head. If it weren’t for my children I would not room with gratitude. And his healing began and have gotten out of bed. For two years I thought the cancer left his body. that the doctors were wrong, and there had to be something seriously wrong with my physical I decided to try that, because no matter what I body, as I could never believe that this could be can always choose to smile. So every time a caused by something else. This condition is ex- panic came or another shitty feeling, I just smiled tremely difficult to explain for those that have not my biggest. And Yes I felt like a complete idiot, them self experienced. This is waives of strange but rather be an idiot than feeling horrible! I prac- and difficult emotions, very heavy and hard to tised this over and over again. I also made myself live with. some homemade Mantras, easy to remember and I repeated them in my mind. I wanted to I would rather go through the process of losing force my self out of the horror and panic and into my arm 10 times rather that going through this more positive place. again. A bit funny now when I think about that I have experienced extreme accident, which dam- The Transformation from Hell to Heaven! aged my physical body and I have experienced Baby steps by baby step I managed to get a little extreme difficult time, where the target was my better. I began studying dog behaviour and dog emotional and spiritual body. Both has given me training. It was extreme difficult for me but slowly rich, deep and valuable learning in this life, some- I got better and better. I began to feel gratitude thing that I would not want to be without. I feel toward the Hell and what it had thought me. I that I have graduated with some special degrees have studied so much in my journey to find my in life! healing. My intuition told me to eat only fruits

and veggies, which I found absurd until I found a video with David Wolfe by “accident”. I began studying Raw Foods and Living foods and that

78 resonated really good with me. My Raw Food Journey began which led me to chocolate! I feel The Golden Rules! extremely good on Raw Vegan diet and it helps If I should make a list over all the tools that has my nervous system. helped me out through the years and I appreci- The Success! ate so much it would look like this:

Now 11 years later I am completely out of all -Prayers panic and horrible feelings. It has been my deep- -Positive affirmation est, richest and most educational journey so far in my life and I feel so rich and grateful! I run and -Visualizing own my dog school were I offer dog training and organize bigger event with other world- -Reading about self empowerment renowned teachers in Denmark and Iceland. I am -Lay off the news while you are feeling bad also building my very own Mally´s Chocolate Fac- tory, were I produce my own Raw Chocolate from -Raw and Living whole plant foods bean to bar. With my one and only arm I temper -Meditation the chocolate, which I make from with only Raw and Organics produce. -Attitude of Gratitude

I only see opportunities in life now and I will en- -Look at everything as a learning situation joy it to the fullest! I have learned to Love my self -Practicing compassion and forgiveness and even though I look a little like an Alien with one love toward your self arm, no hair nor ears or eyebrows ;) I have learned that the things that bother our souls hurt -EFT much more than the things that bother our bodies. -Exercise your Body

-Chocolate ~ Mally

79 YOU ARE MORE There is something that is pulling on my soul ever so gently. An underlying knowing that I’ve been here before. A familiar feeling in a brand new place. A fleeting glimpse into a past life once lived. I close my eyes and as the wind dances upon my face, it feels as though time stands still.

It is through these subtle moments that I discover I am so much more than this physical body. I am so much more than my circumstances. I am so much more than this current lifetime.

Do you ever have those moments where you lay on your back, stare up at the stars in the expansive sky and wonder how many other lifetimes have you done this exact same thing?

You see, we are so much more than what meets the eye. Our intuition helps provide us with guidance about who we are on a deeper level.

We are spiritual beings.

80 And it is within these moments our spirit is activat- as they grow and expand under you through the ing a piece of ourselves that has been long for- dirt. gotten. So, when you have these moments that Breathe. transcend space and time; these moments that connect you to a past life – savor every second of Now, bring your attention back up through those it. roots and back into your body. As you sit try to focus on your aura, or the energy that immediately Don’t dismiss it or ignore it. Don’t chalk it up to surrounds you. Tap into that space just outside of coincidence and go about your day. Close your your physical body and see if you can feel it. eyes and let it seep into your bones. This is who you are. This is a sacred gift. Breathe. What does it feel like? How far out from your body does it go? What colors do you see? When you acknowledge your intuition your spirit grows stronger, and the messages become Now imagine that there is a beam of light pour- clearer. When you honor the guidance you re- ing in from above and filling your body. Watch as ceive, the path before you illuminates even this beam of light fills and strengthens your aura. brighter. Visualize this light as it radiates out from your heart into your surroundings. You are here for a reason, now it’s time to find out why. Breathe.

Imagine that the light you received from above is

BE THE LIGHT MEDITATION traveling out from your body and through your Practice this guided meditation whenever you aura. Watch as it spreads out into where you are need the reminder that you are MORE. You are sitting. Now imagine that it spreading out to your more than your physical body. You are more than whole state. Take it even further and visualize it your circumstances. You are a spiritual being. You lighting up and enveloping the entire world. are the light. Breathe. Find a quiet spot. If possible, sit down on the bare earth, and close your eyes. Slowly come back to your body. Gently smile to your inner self. Open your eyes. You are so much Breathe. Gently. Slowly. In and out through your more than what meets the eye. You are every- nose. Breathe. thing, and everything is you.

Imagine that you are strong like a tree with roots Hera Bosley that go deep into the earth. Visualize those roots Mindful Euphoria

81 FINDING OUR VOICE

The truth. When I was young, it was avoided. The the gifts of women. The ability to see into the still entire world would crash down upon me, if I darkness and to understand the meaning that dared to open my mouth and speak it. So much threads through our lives. This is the thread that I nicer to believe in that which was presented as cannot help but pull in the tapestry of my own opposed to that which was. And so, I did what I life; it is my nature. was supposed to do and followed the path that was laid before me. She was not my true nature It is the Dark Goddess that lies deep within each and destined to crumple in a pile of her own of us. The Wise Crone waiting to be unearthed tears. When I began graduate studies and train- and lovingly kissed, so that we may stand in our ing as a psychotherapist at the sweet age of 22, full and glorious sovereignty. She who will say the the truth gradually dripped into my heart and things that must be said regardless of the price. into my bones, and I could not look away. She who can peer into the darkness and give it a name. I court her and invite her into my home. I As women, we are not taught to listen to our in- pray to her for courage that I might take action ner knowing and speak the wisdom that we know from that which I know to be true. Give me the to be true, regardless of what might be un- strength to listen within the darkness, unearth the leashed in the knowing. Instead, it is important to truth of the matter and then wield it as a sword – smile and make others’ needs a priority while we the Voice for positive change and power. present the best sides of ourselves, don’t ruffle This is our birthright as women. We need only too many feathers, and do the job of a woman seek it within. Our bodies birth the Universe, and and a man with skill and a sense of our place in we are the gateway between the worlds, between this society. Feel into that one. life and death. This informs our Truth and embla- zons our Voice. This is precisely why it is essential for us to dig deep into our souls and find our true Voice that is hiding in the shadows. What do I want? What do I Mara Koch need? What’s really going on here? So blatant that it cannot be denied and yet it appears that no one sees it but me, for not a single person will acknowledge it let alone talk about it. These are

82 MUSINGS BY ERIN “I hope you will go out and let stories, that is life, happen to you, ELIZABETH and that you will work with these stories... water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom.”

― Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype

83 CHILDBIRTH: A The way in which a baby is received into the world affects the way WOMAN'S RITE OF in which he or she operates in the world for the rest of his or her PASSAGE life. The way in which a mother feels when she births this baby becomes the blueprint for her interaction with her baby and her community as a new mother. As a woman, this is her biggest rite of passage. In ancient cultures, childbirth was a chance to celebrate the creation of life. A pregnant woman was revered as a goddess. She was fully capable, and usually gave birth with little discomfort. She was supported and empowered by her community, and typically surrounded by wise women during this very important transition.

What happens when a woman feels supported and empowered in this passage? She relaxes. She opens. She surrenders. Nature takes over. She feels the essence of the universe. She feels the power that creates worlds. This power courses through her and she realizes: she is this power: the ultimate truth. Birth is a chance for a woman to travel to the deepest level of her being. After all, it is said that giving birth consciously is equivalent to 7 years of

84 meditation. When respected as the rite of pas- ters into a state of “fight or flight.” All of the sage that it truly is, giving birth can be an oppor- blood is moved away from the “non essential” or- tunity for a woman to enter into states that en- gans needed for survival. Unfortunately, for a lightened masters speak of. birthing woman, this means her uterus. So why aren’t we hearing more stories of women merging with the power of the universe, totally However, the great force behind childbirth contin- surrendering, and discovering their true essence ues to work wonders, but the woman, unable to during childbirth? And why instead are we hear- open, experiences excruciating pain. This creates ing of pain, trauma, and countless interventions? I more fear, and the cycle begins to loop. It is as if believe that it all boils down to a four-letter word: she is stuck in a labyrinth with no way out. She FEAR. suddenly feels helpless and instinctively knows that something has gone terribly wrong. Enter: In the majority of places in the modern world, the modern symbols of our ancient rite of pas- childbirth is an event to be terrified of. It is sage: pain relief in many forms, artificial hor- viewed to be inevitably painful, dangerous, and mones, and possibly even surgery. Without the in many situations, a medical emergency. Cesar- understanding of the cycle, pain is addressed, ean section, once reserved for life threatening rather than the root cause: fear. Interventions be- cases only, has now become the most common come the norm and the woman grieves silently as operation in America. Think of the messages we she feels that something has been taken away grow up with as children around childbirth. Think from her. of the television shows and the movies we’ve watched. What do they depict? In almost every Author of Hypnobirthing, Marie Mongan writes, instance, the scene goes like this: The woman’s “Birth has been broken. The spirit of women with water suddenly breaks, she is driven frantically to respect to their innate birthing power has been the hospital and within minutes of arriving, she is broken. By seriously looking at the effect of fear- screaming for an epidural to relieve her pain. the powerful emotion that causes the birthing body to break down -perhaps we can keep the No wonder so many women are terrified of giving finely tuned, precision bodies of women whole birth! But could it be this fear that is causing all of for future generations” our suffering? A 1920’s English obstetrician Grantly Dick-Read, noticed that no other animal Fear is not to be taken lightly, as it blocks us from species experienced pain, or agony during birth our greatest gifts awaiting us in childbirth. When and hypothesized that fear and tension were the a woman understands the fear-tension-pain cycle, cause of pain. He soon introduced the “Fear- she can find a supportive birth team to help her Tension-Pain” cycle. When afraid, the body en- work through her fears as early as the first few

85 months in pregnancy. This is essential to her hav- wives and birth companions to make informed ing a comfortable, empowering and safe birthing choices, while still feeling supported by the exper- journey. There are many women working with dou- tise of the medical field if truly a life threatening las, midwives, hypnobirthing therapists, and oth- situation were to arise. We can re weave the fab- ers to have natural births free of interventions. ric of community for our mothers so they feel em- Some of these women are experiencing painless powered and supported in their precious rite of births. Some, even orgasmic. passage. We can become aware of our language, especially around our daughters, and instead of One woman describes her experience, “My dumping our fears onto them, we can work to growls all of a sudden became soft roaring trust women again and their capable bodies. noises, and the roars only got louder through my Imagine what this world would be like if every contractions. It felt so perfectly instinctual to let birthing mother were respected and gently go and just be, just feel, and let my body and guided to open, trust and surrender to the ulti- mind and soul focus on birthing. There were no mate creative force that is the essence and truth distractions. There was no pain, just good, of this life. Can we begin to tell a birthing story of strong, intense stretching.” love and connection instead of fear and separation? This is my deepest wish, hope and prayer Another woman writes, “The sensation is ecstatic. for humanity, and I hope you’ll join me. I am building up to the birth climax after nine months of pleasurable foreplay. With one push Nancy Lucina the babe is in the canal. The next push brings him down into that space just before orgasm when we women know how god must have felt creating this planet”

Most of us have never heard stories like these, but what if they became the norm? You see, birth is a collective story that affects every one of us. We were all a baby at one point in time and since that first experience has become our blueprint for how we operate in this world, we are certainly affected deeply every day by this fundamental event. It may be time to start telling the birth story differently. We live in a unique time where we can work together with the sisterhood of mid-

86 I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT

I want to know what you want. I want to know that secret thing, that dark thing, I want to know what lights you up. that thing that stirs your pot...the one you don't want anyone to know about because you think To see your eyes bright and glimmering, the it's too much for the world, the one you think we sides of your mouth unable to turn downward. can't handle.

I want to listen to your voice grow louder until it I want to know what desires you've put up on that booms with energy whenever you have the oppor- dusty shelf. tunity to talk about…it. I want to know what aches to be expressed. I want to know the passion you gave up on, for- I want to witness as the molecules in your body got, locked away, and let go of. become so excited by the verbal expression of your passions that it's completely uncontainable. I want to touch that desire, and stretch it from Energy knocking from the inside, pounding to end to end, to stretch it until it fills the barren get out, it's only release through you is wild hand landscape that became the life you settled for. gestures, shaking legs, gyrating hips, and fast moving lips. I want to witness you passionately throw vibrant colors of paint across the landscape of your life. I want to feel the piecing look from your eyes that say you're into something good, the look that I want to watch you art your way through your tells me you're alive...that “in there”...you're still days, to jump in puddles, to get filthy knee deep alive. in mud laughing madly in the pouring rain!

I want to know what makes you mad with passion, I want to feel you so lit up I can barely contain my what sets your soul ablaze. own energy witnessing yours. Maybe it's selfish, that my passion yearns to witness your passion For you, touching it once is not enough. It's never expressed. enough. You need more of...that. I need more of that, from you.

87 I'm not interested in your mundane, beige, car decal living subsistence. I'm not buying into the reasons why you’ve stopped living brightly, why you’ve stopped dreaming, why you’ve stopped reaching for your desires saturated in pleasure.

I'm not invested in your settling soul-mate, your bills, or your “have to’s”. I'm invested in you.

I'm invested in the glorious golden glow you have when you are drunk on what it is you love most.

I'm invested in seeing you live your life to touch that. That which is ineffable. That which we yearn for, we reach for, as humans.

I'm interested in knowing the heights you reach with your lover(s) when you've finally tapped into your creative force.

I'm interested in seeing how your relating shifts with your partner(s), with friends, with family, with the world...when they get to witness you radiant, when we can feel you enter a room, when you walk through the world like you're up to something we should all know about.

I want to know you like that. I want to know what you want.

Nonamae Satya

88 RAVENS And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door; And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming, And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor, Shall be lifted - nevermore! - Edgar Allan Poe

Art by Nessa Goodwin

89 THE UNTOLD STORY OF ALICE

I cannot begin to write my story without writing A woman of the story of the Woman that came before me. Courage I cannot begin to tell you who I am without telling Intelligence, you about the Woman that came ahead of me. Resilience Care. To tell you her story would mean that she has come alive, that she is not some ghost that wan- You were the first I saw. ders unsure if her existence even mattered or if it The first to show me even occurred. She is not a ghost, not to the me Who I may inspire to now.. Who I may become With the outer shell of determination, position, I yearn to tell you of her because she is a Woman mission who deems herself invisible to the eyes all around And an inner character of protection, devotion, her. I had been one of those eyes for I could not passion. find the connection between her and I. It was that way for a long time. You are a woman, Five foot and an unmeasurable radiance, Until, I broke myself apart. Head full of reason and a hearty smile.

To be broken down by the consequences of my You travelled from there to here, unintentional choices, I was able to finally see her Choosing life over grievance altogether. Walked miles there and here Exchanging our time for their profit Her presence was braided into my very presence. Your profit turned to our profit Her choices permeated my own choices. Our profit of home and security, She is a Woman. I am a Woman. You did this then and you still do it now. Working long hours for their profit, That baseline of similarity lead me to discover our Turning away our time again. exclusive connection. At first, I began to see her as a Woman with a role in my life, then later saw You are my mother and a woman, her as a Woman beyond the role. She is A A natural creator, Woman, a Human, A Soul. A sustainer of life.

You are my mother, Roxanne Porquez The sight of you, 90 MANIFESTATION There was a time, about 5 or 6 years ago - I was unhappy, unful- BREAD filled, lived in an apartment in the polluted city, working a job I loathed and barely made enough money to survive.

One night, I was so hungry, and no money to buy food, I went to the kitchen to see what was in there that I could make something, anything, just to get the pain of hunger to subside.

I had flour, yeast, water, a little bit of oil, a little milk, some sugar, and salt. Literally, that was all my entire kitchen contained. Bread, of course! Now it may sound silly, but just the right ingredients in my shelf and refrigerator to make bread make me feel rich. I felt like a queen realizing I could bake bread, and have something to eat that may not be satisfying, but it would be filling and it would last a while.

I felt so weak and lacking any energy at all, it seemed difficult to even mix and knead the dough. My arms got so tired, and I was exhausted, working my ass off at a job I hated anyways, hadn't eaten in almost two days, and yet here I was beating the hell out

91 of this dough with all I had in me, putting in what the same person - and truly, I am not the same felt like so much work, and then not to mention person. waiting for the dough to rise, then knead again, It took growth, patience, support from those and finally bake it, wait some more, and then the around me, and deep self exploration and soul moment would come that I'd finally get to eat searching. It took hard work. It took determina- this bread. tion. By the time I got to eat that bread, it tasted like I manifested my dreams into reality. Magic is real pure Heaven. It was the most luxurious delicacy dear, Heart. It's not luck, or coincidence, and it is that had ever graced my lips. The softest, fluffi- not exclusive to myself and certain others. The op- est, most delicious thing I have eaten in all my portunity is there for all of us. You ARE worthy. life. I'm not sure if it was because if I was so hun- You can make magic too. gry, or because I just did a damn good job for once baking (I'm a wonderful cook - baking Sometimes I feel that I owe so much to that loaf though, is certainly not my strong suit regretta- of bread. And I swear, I have yet to taste anything bly). nearly as damn delicious as that bread was.

That night, I decided I was done surviving. I de- Bake bread. Change your life. Manifest. sired to thrive. I wanted more out of life than my rent paid, and baking bread. Nic Vineyard It took a lot of work, a lot of scary new changes. I found a job that supported me, and I bought a home. A real home. Instead of looking out my window to pollution, and fast food chain restau- rants and a Walmart and mall, I now look out my window in the morning to see misty fog rolling from hill to hill, below the Smoky Mountains of East Tennessee. Being in a more comfortable place in life, and his, my boyfriend (that word just never suited us) of 5 years proposed that year, and we just got married this passed May ("husband" also feels like such a dirty word).

Over the course of the year, my life has changed dramatically, to the point I wonder if I am even

92 ACCEPTANCE

There is no redemption. There is only acceptance of your moment. Acceptance of who you really are.

The dark.

The light.

The Grey.

The full myriad of colors. Even a flower falls to the earth because of gravity. But it floats there complete in it’s softness.

It knows. Everything that goes up. Must come down. And when there’s no resistance. There’s only flow. And that flow redeems us. Floating us through that which seems like unnecessary existence.

-Sahara

93 ANCIENT BLOOD Ancient blood flows through her veins Sacred earth shapes her bones Powerful magic oozes from her soul

Suppressed for centuries Burnt and beaten Tortured and tor- mented Condemned and slaughtered For what we were For what we could do

But now we rise again Awakening from a slumber too long The birth of a new force Ready to run free A divine, wild dance of ancient and new Watch us ascend Watch us rise as one

Sarah Whare 94 A MAP OF SCARS

It's full of scars When he would yell and scream and I thought maybe I was holding my last breath You may not see them all Some are hidden I have a scar on my heart I have these three marks on my belly From losing family and friends too soon Those are my birthmarks From breaking up with my a man I loved deeply The ones I obtained while sheltering three beings and learning for the first time how to start over inside of me again Really, I think of them more as beauty marks From trying so hard to love someone into good- Because what's more beautiful than carrying your ness and realizing own child in your womb? My love would never be enough

I have a scar in the middle of my forehead My body It's a chickenpox scar From when I swore the bugs were biting me and My whole body just wouldn't stop Inside and out I have a scar on my elbow It's shaped kinda like Texas Is a map of scars that tell my story From playing chicken with my friend on our bikes And make me the woman I am today in the road I love my scars Neither of us were chickens I love my body

I have a scar on my lungs Stephanie Durham From holding my breath every time I was afraid The time my son spit out his front teeth on the soccer field When I put that new born baby in the car for the first time and prayed the whole ride home

95 NABALO

Nabalo is inspiring people to bring more Nature, Balance and Love into their lives.

You can visit Nabalo.com to find more inspiration on these topics and to see what Nabalo will be of- fering you in the future.

We are looking forward to meet you there!