tay with me on this. Razorcake didn’t invent punk rock. Razorcake is that culture-at-large believed her. This singer usurped the culture that I won’t kill punk rock. Razorcake just wants to give you, the reader, the love while snatching my lexicon in one measly thirty-second sound bite. I Smost honest, well-thought-about articles, interviews, and reviews we mean, it’s pretty people singing dull songs. It was all easier to take when can. We just want to keep it going in some small way. Incubate the best new they were boy bands, but now they’ve got gigantic anarchy-emblazoned bands, writers, and artists. Honor the lifers and give you something more to drum sets while playing tunes The Archies would have snubbed their noses think about when the music stops ringing in your ears. at, yelling “punk!” I’m at a serious loss when well-intending friends ask me Why? It’s because it’s fun and music feeds and protects us. Since what I think about Sum 41. My answer’s, “Nothing. I’ve never thought Razorcake doesn’t support any one person fully, we all have other lives. about them.” To me, they’re as much as a non-factor as golf on TV. The “Real” lives that pay bills. We’re vending machine stockers, t-shirt printers, Svengalis who control these bands have stolen the skin, not the soul. school teachers, students, graphic designers, veterinary receptionists, free- What’s just as sad is when old-timers worm out of the woodwork, pop lance writers, secretaries, video store clerks, and cooks. on the tube or visit their local Barnes and Noble, see the corporate display, We don’t live in a bubble. We try to make a bubble—one that didn’t and declare that punk music is bankrupt, a shell. I mean, shit, a lot of these exist quite like this before, and that bubble’s fragile and it constantly pops. people risked getting spit on and stabbed on a regular basis just to see music. For the past four years, there have always been incredible forces working Can they be simultaneously that jaded and naïve to believe that when they against us. We have no backers. We have no trust funds. We have only what left, everything just died or everyone involved became millionaires? we make. And that got me to thinking. I understand that punk is a culture-by- Issue #26 marks a slightly new direction for Razorcake and if I didn’t choice and a culture of participation. Punk’s not a skin color. Punk’s not reli- point it out, it’d probably be hard to see. We’ve introduced more folks into gious dogma. There is no affirmative action for punk. There’s no Punk Anti- our fold. We have more people doing layouts and more people taking over Defamation League. There’s no punk rock homeland that’s getting federal the thousand mundane tasks that facilitate the creation of this magazine. funding. There isn’t a ten-block punk rock ghetto in every major city. We’re We’re not re-inventing anything, but we’re sure as hell creating something like diffuse atoms, that, when pressurized and collected, can be a force of that had never existed before. great strength. I’m thirty-three, I don’t have cable television, and own so much music So here it is and here we are; the culture that we love can be kept alive I want to hear that I haven’t voluntarily listened to commercial music on the and continue to grow with this constant tension. Only by a healthy respect radio in the last decade. I’m absolutely confounded by what’s passing itself for one another and dissent of culture-at-large can we continue on our path. off as punk rock on corporate stages and in multinationals’ labels. I’ve been We aren’t the end-all, be-all. We’re just a group of people who believe in so far removed from that part of popular culture for so long, I thought some- punk passionately, even when the word itself has been taken from our one was pulling my leg. I saw someone who had the letters “PUNK” in tongues and stamped as a temporary tattoo on the belly of some pop stars. rhinestones on her “designer-ripped” t-shirt, and who sung a song that she wishes was half as catchy as The Carpenters. So what? The head scratcher –Todd AD DEADLINE AD SIZES • If we need to invoice you, we ISSUE #27 • Full page, 7.5” wide, 10” tall. won’t run your ad until we June 1st, 2005 • Half page, 7.5” wide, 5” tall. have the cash on hand, so make ISSUE #28 • Quarter page, 3.75” those arrangements before the August 1st, 2005 wide, 5” tall. ad deadline. • Sixth page, 2.5” wide, 5” tall. • “Now we are all sons of Email • Please make all checks out to bitches.” Test director Ken [email protected] Razorcake. Bainbridge, after administering for rates and full details. • We only accept electronic ads. the world’s first atomic blast in • All ads are black and white. the pre-dawn hours • We don’t reserve ad space. of July 16, 1945. Cover photograph provided by This Is My Fist Cover design by Keith Rosson: www.keithrosson.com Contact Razorcake: Sean <[email protected] or Todd <[email protected]> Thank you list: Smashed-in microphone heads thanks to Niki Pretti and Toby—Peacemaker. Diplomat, Josh Stein for the This Is My Fist photographs; Dude, you’re laying on Proud Farter, Beer-Drinker, Lover. your back and getting stepped on at a hardcore show thanks to Donofthedead for his Fucked Up pictures; It’d be twice as long as it already is if we printed the fifteen pages about British cars thanks to Julia Smut for her Billy Zoom interview, layout, and pictures; Best tattoo of the year thanks to Sean of the Tim Version for being drunk and scabby and accommodating to picture taking in Vegas; Sweat was coming from the basement’s roof like you’re standing in a rainforest thanks to Dan Zajackowski for the Chinese Telephones interview, and thanks to Katherine Schumacher for the pics; Kira don’t take no shit in the women’s bathroom thanks to Ryan Leach for his interview, shiny curtains in the background thanks to Richard Hogge for his pics; “Damn, you made a picture of a bass, and the strings spell Kira” thanks to Amy Adoyzie for her illustrations and laying out Kira’s interview; Smoking Virgin Mary thanks to Rob Ruelas for his illustration in Dale’s column; Big feet, bright star thanks to Terry Rentzepis for his illustration in LizO’s column; The Rhythm Chicken should become America’s official diplomat to Poland thanks to Chris Larsen for his illustration in the Chicken’s col - umn; Jeff Fox for all of the Pabst and slot car therapy sessions; All of these motherscratchers reviewed records, books, and/or DVDs, some while naked, some while dancing, some while considering suicide or the murder of an entire band for wasting life’s precious gift of time: Keith Rosson, Jessica T., Jenny Moncayo, Ty Stranglehold, Aphid Peewit, Speedway Randy, Lord Kveldulfr, Mr. Z, Heela, Donofthedead, Sean Koepenick, Jimmy Alvarado, Megan Pants, Cuss Baxter, Namella J. Kim, Greg Barbera, Mike Frame, Chris Devlin, Brian Mosher, Amy Adoyzie, and Brian Howe. Dedication: This issue is dedicated to the memories of Hasil Adkins, Bass Wolf, and Patrick Roe —give ‘em hell where ever you are. Rest in peace. Issue #26 June / July 2005 PO Box 42129, Los Angeles, CA 90042 44 www.razorcake.com WE DO OUR PART COLUMNS 4 Liz O. Guerrilla My Dreams 7 Art Fuentes Shizzville 8 Sean Carswell A Monkey to Ride the Dog 10 Jim Ruland Lazy Mick 38 12 Ayn Imperato 90803 14 Nardwuar The Human Serviette Who Are You? 18 Josh Lane Kind of a Sewer 50 20 Rev. Nørb Love, Nørb 24 The Rhythm Chicken The Dinghole Reports 28 Gary Hornberger Squeeze My Horn 30 Designated Dale I’m Against It 35 Ben Snakepit Snakepit 37 Chrystaei Branchaw’s Photo Page INTERVIEWSANDFEATURES 38 This Is My Fist by Todd and Josh 44 Chinese Telephones by Dan Zajackowski 50 Fucked Up by Josh and Todd 56 68 56 Kira Roessler by Ryan Leach 68 Billy Zoom by Julia Smut 77 Dan Monick’s Photo Page REVIEWS 78 Record I can't see this record getting teenage punks laid. 104 Zine This kid needs a computer with an anarchy symbol key. 108 Book Nearly four months of bathroom visits. 112 Video You begin to realize just how frail and breakable music can seem. Individual opinions expressed within are not necessarily those of Razorcake/Gorsky, Inc. Razorcake is distributed by Big Top Newstand Services, 2729 Mission St., Ste.201, SF, CA 94110, [email protected] Razorcake/ Gorsky, Inc. Board of Directors are: Todd Taylor, Sean Carswell, Dan Clarke, Katy Spining, Leo Emil Tober III This issue of Razorcake and www.razorcake.com are put together by Todd Taylor, Sean Carswell, Josh Lane, Megan Pants, Skinny Dan, Amy Adoyzie, Julia Smut, Chris Devlin, and Jennifer Moncayo. Razorcake is bi-monthly. Issues are $3.00 ppd. in the US. Yearly subscriptions (six issues) are $15.00 bulk rate or $21.00 first class mail. Plus you get some free shit. These prices are only valid for people who live in the US and are not in prison.