OBSERVER Vol. 15 No. 4 April 7, 1976

Cover Page Photograph John Kisch Page 1 Peer Counseling My Summer Vacation Page 2 For Richard or for Poorer Gail Levinson NYPIRG Steeleye Span Lee Kessler Page 3 On Broadway My Fair Lady Jeff Watnick Knock, Knock Jeff Watnick Film! Page 4 Editorial Dear Parents and Students . . . Letters [“ . . . An inmate incarcerated in the Chillicothe Correctional Institution.”] Wayne A. Carchedi [“Two articles in the last issue of the Observer disturbed me a bit.”] Michele Petruzzelli Page 5 Why Cheesecake Is Better Than Sex Lee Kessler Introducing Doonesbury Doonesbury Gary Trudeau Observations L. J. Page 6 The Bardpuzzle 2 Answers To No. 1 Page 7 Sports Softball Robert Galluscio Varsity Tennis Intramurals Doonesbury Gary Trudeau _Vol. 15 No. 4 April - 7, 1976 Ten Cents \

- - T ...... Peer CotiilSeling; Bar~ CoUege 1s a ~ma~l, resJdenttal college ity of Campus LivirigCommittee as one of - . . - , ~ ded1c~ted t~ makmg tt.s stud~nts' stay here great importance on the Bard campus; an in~ _ Bard commumty are encoyraged. lf you _ meanmgful tn academtc, soeta!, and. personal dividual in this role will have a potentjaJJy know of c;omeone who.would be a good yvays. Peer ~he College_ has commttted 1ts~lf to. great impact on the Collegc. ~ . Counselor, please sub~1t that name to the - ~n_tegratmg academtc an.d non~academtc ac~1v- Peer Counselors will be chasen from next D~a~ of Students Offtce by the21st of April tt.te~ mto a comprehen~tve for both _whol~ m~ year's junior and senior elasses J and all under- -and r_ncl~de a statement as to your reasons for ~hv1duals and the total commumty. The goal classmen _.21 years olcf or older. A Peer Coun- nommatmg that person. All mdividuals who rs for ea~h stude~t to be offe~ed ~ wid~ ~ange selor will be selected on the basis of her/his have been nominated (an~ are interes~ed them- of learnmg and hfe-style alternattves whtle at interest and ability in working with people · sel~es) a~d who haye appiFed themselves will Bar~ ~o tha~ she/he ca n be ~n active J creative maturity, range of experience, and a stroni. _be mtervt~wed by. ~embe_rs of the selection parttCtp~nt ma chasen envtronment upon com:nitment to .the id~al .of developing the . board. Fmal oectsJOns Wlll be made sh9rt~y .";-~ r •. graduat10n. , • _ . r qualtty of dormJtory life Jnt0 a senous, mean• there~fter. . tVP":""' f •,• . These al~ernat1ves m~lude stude~~s being ingful ex~erience for Bard students. All mtereste~ ~tudents are encouraged to ap- better equtpped to actrvely and cntJcally en- A select1on board comprised of students. f3- ply for the posttlon ofeeer Counselor. lf gage themselves ~i.th ideas, other people, and · culty, and administrators will ch'oose the Peer th ere ~r~ questions or reactions, please d iseuss them~elves~. ln~1v1d~al and commumty sup- counselors. Atter individuals have been cho- them ~~th any m~mber of the Quality of Cam- part 1s yeqU1re9 tn th ts ~rocess. . . se~, a one-day traini_ng ~essio~ will be held pus L1vtng Comr;t!ttee or Deans Sugatt or Jo- In th_1s hght, the Qual1ty of Campus L1vmg th ts semester to begm d1scuss1ons of what it !osky. The pos1t10n of Peer Counselor at Bard · Co!fimtttee has recomf!lended that a pe~r c?un~ means to serve in this position. These discus- JS potentially an im~ortant one, arid it is hoped ~ehng system be estäbJ1shed at Bard begmnmg sions will be continued in a mare extenstve that all students senously interested in it will - -- ~n. Seotember, ~ 976 .. T_h_is syst~m will be in- training period before school begins in the apply · · - stttuted .on ar: expenmental basts; Peer Coun- Fall. Clearly one of the personal gains for the sel<;»rs Wt~l be m ~hre~ 9or~s next yea~, all of Peer Counselor will be the interehange with • 1 whtch wtll be pnman_fy undercfas~ resrdences. other Peer Counselors arpund shared concerns. The goal ~f !'!creasrng stu9ents awareness of It is hoped that the Counselors can grow them- .and respons1btltty for self and others should selves in this positian as weil as hefping others b.e _felt by th.e Peer <:;:~unselor .. Work with in- · • at Bard. ' . d!v!duals, be~ng sensttiVe_ to t~e.'r n~eds, and _ Seleetian will occur the last week in April. atdmg th~m m proble~ tdentlftcatt~n _and pro- ·All interested individuals (from next year's ble~ sol.vmg. Work. wtth gro4ps wtll tnc~ude junior and seniör dasses and 2lyear olds) helpmg In the est~bi.Jshmer.~t and promot10n, should express their interest in the posmon on a floor an~ wtthm a dorm, of an atmos- _ by s~bmitting their name to the Dean of Stud~ --phere conduc1v~ to st~dy and to the develope- ents Office no fater than 21st of April, 1976. . n:ent of ameanmgful mtellectual, cultural, so- A brief statement as to why you would )ike c1al, and personal_llfe style at Bard. The.po-: to be a Peer Counselor should be included. sitioli «of Peer Co~nselor is viewed by the Qual- Al so, nominations from all members of the - ., - lVIY ·· Sulllrner ·vacation (CPS)-- Europe is expensive, intones . arJ over'21 is lo trwn room rather than having re- _ and mUst be under 25. · · servattons made for you. · Ahyays ask to Eurailpass is a gooct bet if you plan see}he r~om before you take it, and to hit a lot ofcountries in a short time, · always. take aroom. without a ba th. but therc are othcr ways to si!t/e train Walking down the hallway to, the bath- · fare. , room can chop room expenses by a th'ird. if yoU're under 21, an economical second-class train tlclFinland and much of pensive, you ca n always try your luck to the cities yoü want to visit and chop Eastern Et,nope. Unfortunately J itS crashing at .a.sympathetic studenes dorm at an European off125% from that price. - _. pric~tag has doubledin the last year, university. (Universities · · Another option to Eurailpass if you and t.t now cosfs a whopping $140. also offer cheap but ed'ible meals.) > _!\ccomodations i~ the· next big Another way to beat hotel prices is cont~ pg. 2 ,--- Page 1 i

basically he's .a riarc; a good one but ~ Steel_ e, ~e Spa.n_"_ a narc. A second student expanded '.J ' I .., .' FOrRichardI • th-e thpught by · saying; n.ot a n.arc' in Steeleye Span began as an English folk band the bust you sense, mare- of an ear ?f with a repertoire of traditio.nf.l tunes. ·'Today, . the administration than a bridge. Thrs_ . almost ten years later, they p·lay electric mu- statement was qualified, He inadvertently sie but their repertoire is stilllargely t~a~i~ion- or for Poorer te//s Th eo thin.Qs. · _ al. . . . . ,. . is a hard min to Richard Landes Other TewksbUry students feel that The most striking aspect of tHeir sound {if 1 interview. I nl the pracess of answering Richard is useful in settling complaints that commercial pop term is permissable) is he questions the arsumptions Maddy Prior. Her vocal range The replies reveal as much behind it. that he handies room placement in is large and it is 'very refresh i ng to hear a • . question and its intent as about the Tewksbury has lately caused •many to beautiful female voice that is not weeping th ey do ·about the. man who forms things . . , 'them: · : · · • view _him as acting in mare of an about society or other such nebulous R.A.'.s capacity. , In some songs Pi"ior's voice is joined or· re- . Prior to coming .here Richard he· sees himself as a part placed by the violinist's Peter Knight, or the . earned an undergraduate 'degree at . Asked if of the administration he expiained that guitarist's Tim Hart. · . ··· Harvard then Jived in a commune in · he views this as ah artificial distinction. Rumbling omino!Jsly beneath the tradition:-· the Py~enees Mountains without heat or , Because he lives with students, works al melodies is the electric bass of Rick Kenw running waier. He left the commune ' emphatieally underiines the ligli:ter to work on an Jsraeli kibbutz. Upon with the, 'administration and faculty and whic'h all notesin a series of rhythmic periods, hyphens his return to America he' visited Fran­ audits a dass, his friends lie in points. Nigil Pegrum drums conia College on business for a friend three sectors. He sees this problem as , and exclamation Lower · 1 -and plays flutes; the electric guitars a·nd syn- where he met Leon Botstein, a former one which . d ivides Upper add this used sparingly -are done by Ro- student of his father's. After doing College stude'nts as weil. B.jchard char- thesiser- acterizes the Upper College by saying. bert_Johnson. research on higher education in Albany _ for the New York State Legislature, a th ey deal with freshmen /ike parents All Around My Hat continues in the pattern jdb he says he didn't like much, he · who don't think children can talk until established by Steeleye Span- a meid of tra- heard of Leon's new administration at it is in the language parents can under- diiional and electricity - without being tedi- Bard and came here looking for work. stand. olis. Many of the songs display an almost · ,After meeting with . L~9n Botstein, This is why Richard feels himself joyous energy. Hard Times of Old Engla~d qualified for this krnd of work; because isa fast-moving liit with a slightly nasty touch he has no pre-conceptions about Bard of Kemp's bass. The title song begiris in harm- to hinder his conversations with students. ·onious acapella which progresses to a vibrant Whether it is students or faculty on a piece with interweaving bass and mandolin - basketball court, Robert Kelly weaving riffs~ Prior carries lead vocals in this sanga- images a:nd au d iences, the Bard choir or bout a damsel 's realisatioli that her ow n true Tewksbury students struggling to find a love is merely horny : - · . · better living situation, Richard d ai ms The bther night he brought rrie a·fine diamond 1 his fullest appreciation for Bard is ring ' . when it is a place of total com- But he thought to deprive me of a far better mitment. · For Richard Landes the thing . . · . ' 1 · _· · i ... confliCt remains how he can unite Many of Steeleye Span's· tunes deal with sex this devotion with the immunity in this Canterbury Tale-ish manner with a hu- necessary to ~tay free ·_of _precon-1 mor that may remind one of James Thurber's _ ceptions. · treat me nt of the theme of Man against Woma'n~ Gail Le.vinson This humorous eleme.nt helped keep the tradi- tional tunes fresh. . \ . Su n Waves Öegins with a phase-shifted fiddle solo which aches to, and eventually does, blos­ som into a fully instrumented piece. This · ' · contrasts with Cadg.with Anthem, an acapeHa.,. -- __ ,_ -,-.-. o:-:------.... -- -~'S<::- ~ -- ,...=· •"-- -- '" · ~ --""""'-~baHa.d. · ····---- -·- ·-··) ·· · · · · ·· - ·-· · . --~. -~:.J Seyeral .ofthesongs,Dance With Me and ·NYPIRG Bache/arS Hall, fail to gel ,as 91ends of tradition­ al and electric music and are merely bland non­ The New York Public lnterest Re­ rock songs, but botp of these -are position·ed at search Group, Inc. (NYPI RG) today an­ the end of side two and are easily evaded. The nounced openings for students to work album is lively and refresh i ng, anda welcome in NYPIRG'S summer internship program. break from the current directions of rock and There are 76 intern openings in New York City, Buffalo, Binghamton, jazz. Lee Kessler and Albany, joanne Slaight, lntern Co- ordinator, said. Tf?ey are avai/ab/e in the1 fields of environinef}tal preservation, Would you buy a l_.lsed car from this man? consumer protection, and government df- fafrs. . : _ .,-:-:. -.= -,.~ • _ , _ Most openings· have no specific qual- , ifications, and each ·application is care- · · Thea Jolosky and Gene Mason he · was fully reviewed. Generally, we look hired to he/p fi/1 spaces most' appro­ . for interest and · dedicqtion to te_n_ __ weeks priate to fi/1. What this amounts to of hard work, . said Donald K. Ross, Oi- ., , .... . -\ is working on several programs, such as reetor of NYPIRG. · the community Outreach progr;1ms which - Specific NYPI RG internships indude VA C AT ION cont. from pg. 1 enables Bard students to work· with investigating the qt~ality of water in the. . ,_, to join the Globetrotters CltJb, ~hich is juvenile delinquents and · inmates of _ Hud~9_n__l~ive.r, profiling all. of the cand­ billed as a club for t~e non-tounst, travel­ · youth institutions. Other jobs indude idates for N.~w __ Ygrk~~- U.,S._ Senat~ __se_at, ting on a mini-budget. GT ~.Vilr sen~ you organization of the use of the , Bard co.nducting citizen teach-ins . at ., ~ounty . their bi-monthly newsletter, full of travel campus during the summer an~ some fa1rs across New York State, and· settmg tips, and mare important, a lis.t of the . m'enial labor comprised of .xeroxing up a consumer complaint center. names and addresses of all the!r 9ther GT documents. NYPI RG is a nonpartisan research inembers. Although GT'ers are~'t These acÜvities are not ·paid for and advocacy organization directed and obliged to do so, many will put you up by Bar d College. They are funded by supported by New. York State college for the night. A year's membership . Manpower, an organization whkh aids and university students. 1 For mare in­ costs $5; write to GT, BCM/Roving, institutions by paying for individuals in formation or an internship application, London WCJV 6XX, England for an positions the institution is not presently stud en ts should write tpi I ntern · Coord i­ application. ' . . . . :.. · able to provide wages fo._r . He is not nator, NYPIRG, Orie C:olumbia Place, Al- Two good travel guides for students paid a salary for living in Tewksbury bany, New York 12207. ( are: Let's Go: The Budget Guide to by special agreement with Theo. Europe, E.P. Dutton and. Co, Inc. and Richard explains this by saying that . he Europe _on .$10a Day by Arthur From­ doesn't wish to feel obligated to inter­ mer, Simon and Schuster. lf you want act with peop!c for a living. through an . to wo_rk or st.udy _?Verseas 1 Noneth.eless, a small but vocal Am!;ncan untverstty, Iatch onto a copy minority at Tewksbury consider hi~ of the Whole World Handbook, avail­ presence · to be a violati~n of their able for $3.45 from CJEE. lf you want · freedom. ) Most o'f the original con­ to study in Europe very cheaply (tuition troversy I ies i,n the fact that Th eo ,in Europe ca n east as little as ·$30 a year) Jolosky asked the dorm'~. 'opinion ~f and don'f care about transferring credits i having an R.A .., met W:lth emphattc back home, send a stampeq self-addressed resistance and yet brought Richard envelope for a copy of Europe on Zero there to live the next we~k. The Credits a Day, from .CON-PRO, PO Box objectio:n to an R.A. has diminished 18598, Denver Coloradu, 80218. with time. Tt}e small _opposition says that

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Page 2 . \ ON BROADWAY' - i!_ • ." I . 1', / Lady first·' opened. Great shows that are German intellectual, who changes · into a 1 not merely nostalgia for old war horses talmudic rabbi and tries to throw Cohn . out should be. revived for g~nerations that love of the house. In the ensuing scuffle, Cohn good musieal theater, but were born too kills the amorphous intruder. ?uddenly 1 late to participate. Revfving , old shows does there is a knock, knock at 'the _door.: . not signal the abandonment of new formulas Knock, knock ' for musi eal comedy. The s tud y and Who's there, Cohn whispers. appreciation of history does ·· not imply the joan. halting o.f growth and development. · The joqn who? new shows with their different styles (a la ­ jaan sit under the apple tree with anyone 1 Ch_orus Une) wil/ continue to be the brain else but me. chlld of new .and innovative producers be­ Cohn vanks ooen the door arfd standing cau~e theater IS ,an . art, and art is not before him in shining armqr and virtue is stat1c. a glowing Joan of Are.· My F_a~r Lady ,. I suspect, is not equal · Joa~ !ihows Cohn that it is 'really Abe to the ongmal Broad way prod uction and . 1 ~hat he, has killed and she helps him bring know it is . laeking in ·camparisan with Abe back to life. Cohn, visably impressed the .... film_ ve':iion. But what is nq"t per- by th1s l

Page 3 The Observer is an independent student publi­ cation of the Ba~d Colle_ge community. Publi,­ cation is bi-weekly during the Bard College academic year. Lctters to the EDJTORJAL Editor and pther inquiries should be addressed to Box 85, -r - - .. ~ ..... ~ Bard Collcge, Annandale-on-Hudson; New :; • York, 12504. The contents of the Observer ing for it. . Th ey can only resort __to pur­ are copyright 1976 by Observer, Inc. uniess c;:hasing additional foodl which i~ a ;.wastef~l otherwisc . stated. The Observer is a member Dear Parents and Students .. _. and expensive : procedure or -moving · off cam-. ofthe Alternatlve Press Syndicate an,d This is sub- . the seasan When college stu­ pus altogether. It is necess·ary to charge stu- ~cribes to Coll'ege Press Service and dents I nter­ must face the unwe/come task of dents to. live on campus and eat; but the ~ollegiate Press Service. The opinions here- receiving tuition and fee increase. In the expense of $240 to not live. on campus and in are not neccssarily those of Bard Col1ege case of Bard the new cost is an ad d itional . < not eat on campus is inexcus(!bfy arbitrary. pr the ·Editorial staff. four hundred and seventy dollars. Bard has · A parti al sol ution to the problem -of achieved the admirable goal . of keeping its· · keeping · tuition costs under lower would be to orgariize six thousand dollars - by a mea- ' a mandatory work ger six · dollars. _ force comprised of stu- dents. The students could perforll) mainten- ,- The letter informing us of the raise in .observer· ance tasks for a ~cheduled (in)~ .e(,!th week~ tuition points out that inflationary costs have thus reducing An Alternative News'media Project caused prices the . ·need for so many to rise in most American col -. Buildings _ and \ leges. It ignores Grounds sa!aries To js work the fact that. Bard stu- force could Editor-ir.-Chief: Jeffrey Watnick dents are paying perform all other non-.work study Associate for far less class time, ·(chores that require Editor: · Gail Levinsan Other colleges hold Bard to pay o~tside wages. Art Editor: class meetings two to Tho~e who are not Lora Jacobs . four times a week and the willing to work may have Busrness Editor: Phil Carducci full month of · .the option of paying an . increased January. Bard students· already pay once _tuition -to · Te.chnical Editor: Unda 1Hirsch for cover the costs of servkes this month when they are not in school the sch,ool must Proofreader: Shelia Spencer and pay workers ·to cover the additionäl work. -_. a second time to receive credit for, 5taff: Mark Callahan, Robin Carroll, Dan the work At. Franconia College the stuqents .'!-nd other done . by themselves in . -Edd'y; james Fishman, Dan Maas, Lee another location. community members contribute to the öper- · They are now being told ·.. Kessler, Robert Le-vers, Alex McKnight, to pay more for ation of the $Chool in order to keep tuition Scott Porter, Tom Redmond, Frank this privilege. down, and it is· succeeding. · Despite the Uniess measures Salamon, Eric Weisman. _ . claim that Bard is constantly are taken to reduce the spiraling trying to Bard cbsts Typists: jennifer Fischer, Marylou. . . broad~m its alternatives, the econ-: · Bard will eventually overpdce itself omic situation is out of Scofield, Karen Varbalow, Cathy W1lhams narrowlng them. A perfect the college market. The way to cope with ex4mple is the· followil")g Dawn Zaluka. · living situation: inflationary pressures is to trim the . budget Cover Photo: Studen~ who John · Kisc_h do not like SAGA food _costs, nqt pleed the _students and !heir par­ Photog~aph.e5: John Burnett, An_ipal are unable. to live on campus without pay- ents. Gonzalez Evan Hall. .-,j J

-"'".. >: · . . -- ~ - ~·'-#_ """~- ' - - ~ ~ . __ -.. [ ' .. ~ ~ . . ~ . ' ."- - ... 1 • . ' -__- -', ·;_ I -v ' ation I have done quite a lot of painting, dupli­ facilities cating some of Van Gogh1 and ta lk with the staff. His final im~ · s work, since he is . presston one of my favorite-artists. lf I am ever lucky was th<\,t the hospital was m'ore tha_n - ~ adequate. I think that everyorc enoug,h to receive a parole il) the future, J at Bard is~- · ware of would like to continue my cducation the limitations of the Northern Outch­ ata ess Clinic, but, goqduniversity to get my B.F.A. degree by for one with no health care · · ~ concentrating training to make a statement such as ... these in painting and sculpture. How­ hacks wou/d stiil be practlcirlg evcr1 somctimes I wonder whcther their voodoo l will oh someone is ever-see -freedom again. ,. both ridiculous and dangerous . .., All the cases of misdiagr\Osis ci.ted might be va~. This prison system is robbing me _ofthe . =:.. --~; ~ --...... -lid, but as I learned last year w,hen best years of my lif.e', for a, listening to-­ cdme I did n_ot . other such testimony, th ere are commit. These are the yc.irs two sid es· to of yo1,1th, love, : these stories. Finally, I wonder and freedbm; the years I have lostare why, when . gone, the present chairperson of the Health Com mit• never to be regaiqed, and I ~ar 't hei p won- tee posted a "sign as king to bc tol d a~out any der_ing how many more wi_[r le_ave me __ b~- problems with health care, few, if any stud- hind. . . . i ents responded. While I am not actively de­ cLETTEJtS - I would love to hear from anyone at Bard College fending the health care that we are offered that would like to write to here, 'me. Your friendsllip I am objecting to the editorial which To the Editor:' would bc·greatly ap­ seemed preciated, for I befieve to serve no purpose bui:"to scare and that friendsh ip and riie pe.ople, without sincerityare two of the most important presentiqg any real facts I ain w~iting this letter to the student , or possible alternatives. .things in life, along with freedom. Just to newspaper the Ooserver, in hopes·that you Getting now to Mark Callahan's letter, j will have someone to share your thoughts, _. print ft for me. As y;ou can see by my which I think raises some return address. dreams and ideas with can mean so much. The important concerns. " I am an inmatc incarcera­ I agree with much of what Mark says, ted in the Chillicothc Corrcctional society that J Jove so tnuch seell}s to have for­ but at lnsti­ the same time, I am a little tired of hearing tution. I have been confined gotten me n ow, as the y~ars have ~one by. it. in this pri­ As he himselfstates, students must ex'ercise -. c;on svstem for alniost six y'ears n'ow. I . In dosing, J would smcerely llke to thank . havc all the students at Bard College for reading t~eir right to participation in formulation of no family, no friends .i ny more, schopl policy, and and no one to write fo, or ' this and only hope that some of you will yet, it only gets as far as be~ \VOLild write · · ing s'a,id. After the to me. gets write to me. J ust a few I ines from you would overwhelming support that It ve~y lonely in here wh~n Senate received for its recent you don't rcccive any mail be m~re than welcome. Any letters would mean statement of · from somcone gnevance, no on the outside. I thought so moch and be greatly apprcciated. It s~ems one has supported the follow-up. that maybe No <;>pe some of ydu at Bard College, that when yoy have been incarcerated for a . bothered to sign-up for the joint Long readin'g. Range Planning this letter in some spare time, long time, the friends that you once had have Cömmi'ttee, one of the most would important committees !ike to correspond with me. It would eer-. . long forgotten you after the years have passed. PY ~ fot students to serve on. -. - At the first of o_u~ open lunch tainly brighten up a löt of these days Since thcy no longer se.em to c~re any more, meetings with · · Botstein, not more which are spent in confincment. ·1 hope I may find some new frrencfs through than five non-seriators · . .showed To give you a brief resume of fT)yself, the Observer. Please write...... · · up. l could list several other exam- . { · ~ ­ ples where I am twenty-six year:s old ,-an ex-college .... Sincerely yours, students have neglected to partici­ patein ways in which their student six-feet-three-inches tall 1 and weigh Wayne A; Carchedi opinion will hav!3 ·two hu~dred and thirty-five pounds. I . S/N 132-454 · weight, but this is getting too long as it is. I . don't know how havc dark brown wav~y hai·r ,green eyes, and P.O. Box 5500 Mark ·expects students to I am a bachelor. Some pf my hobbies are Chillicothe Corr. lnst. · assert their rights but t~ere are certainly a ,~ playing tennis. on one of the institution's _ I Chillicothe, Ohio 45601 number of channels throughwhich this can be two courts (whcre I won. the singles tour­ ··To the Editor:_ ... done, in a positive way. ·Mark seems to be : nament last July), weight-lifting ilnd Two artici es in the last issue of the Observer ' challeriging Botstein; but l, .in turn,challenge bo~y~ disturbed building.ln.high school I lettered in four . me a bit. One was· the editorial the student community to stop camplaining · sports, and since then I h_ave been very ac­ Witch -.doctors and the qther was, ac'ttially, a and start doing. As a start, the next open letter \Vritten lunch tive in order t9 stay in tnm, excellent phy~ by Mark Callahan. . meeting with Botstem is on Monday 1. Having· been a member of April 12th, sical shape. . . the Heal th Com­ starting at noon in the Committ~e mittee last year d uri n~ Room of Din Howeveri the time when testi­ ing Commons. I wonder how heine born under the sigM of mo ny was solicited coneerning the quality -many people will attend this one. Scorpio, m'y favorite hobby is listening of · to heal th care ~t Bard, I feel that I have a good soft music by firelight with a romantic understanding of the situation. The health , Since~ely, girl. That's something I haven't been ablc care provided to here, while not excellent, isade­ Michele Petruzzelli do for a very _long time now. . .. quate. Northern Dutchess . Eve n though Hospital is not I stay active physically, nearly as bad as it was made and study' out to be in the correspondence courses in art and · editorial. I seem to recall that business a recent grad­ law which are mail ed to me from a uate's father, a prominent New York local univ11rsity, it City stiil gets very lonely in _ physician, had the same questions about the here when you don't · - r hear from someo11e in qual ity of the hospital. He made an u_nan-. you world -the Outside ... Since my incarcer- neuneed visit to the hospital to look over ! . - the Page 4 .. - . ' Why Cheescake Is Better Than Sex The peop.le respeet _are my . . It is smo6lh ·whi'te. and . - . b·· .. · k. . d·. h ·. · e , • '·· f. mosl tabl~.1 f" ~~d ac war s. r· o_uc· _: es the ·I i ps. ' .Eiectric! Mom and our Pastor, Reverend Stane- e ean as my mgers play over it. I Open up .... eat 1t! Boy, it tastes 50 · sheit. In a world as complex as our · ·coax and draw . the Il d . open to reve'll gobd you just have to moan. But it's own it is impossible. to · discern, much the virginal beige meat of cheese. I , less follow, the straight and narrow un- begin to sai iva te as I grasp the knife all right to moan because it's gpod and less) vou have a mentör or two Who -and. make the first tentative touch on absolutely sinless. After you're done k.nows what's good . for yoü.l am ver)t th~ cak~. The knife glides easily in rest for five or ten minutes and the~ lucky to have Mom and the Reverend and I trace a religiously significant have another, but remember . moderation but sometimes r feel selfish in · keeping triangle op and with in the · firm but is important. ' J · • all their invaluable advice' to myself~ suppl_e' body' of this - my öwn cheese- ' '· l've been told' by some lower Therefore, 'the three 'of us sat down to cake. I noid the knife in my hand· types that sex is really Jots of fun and compose this little ·sermonette for 'all of the knife and cheesecake are one. ' also tl1e · surest way to see God but you at Bard College. The Reverend Mom is getting imjntient but I have · know that this can't be true o; else says all the students are astray and learned control and p'roceed at my , the Re~erend ~ould have told me. ' sometimes even stray over each other. leisure. - ' Overpopulation is bad enough. without It is . in this light that 1 was given . · ,I lay the cheesy triangle on my everyone runnilig around procreating all

permission to . use the word . sex. 'f .. plate and pierce it, gently yet force· the time. ' . We never. have .sex at our. house~ . fully, with my fork. I · have. i.t. lt's . ?o the next time you get that but we do have cheesecake. Cheese- on th,e fork. Must maintain control. gnawmg hunger for that which is sexu-al ~ cake affords a genuinely wholesome · Keep it slow. Don 't bolt food in· a (the. Reverend says it is characterized · · pleasure with the extra added benefi't · .gluttonous fashion> . says the Reverend .. ·-· by·. ~ensations in the groin and lower' · of being absolutely sinless. The box Raise. it. slo~ly. Slowly to the mouth. . -grom areas) try som~ cheesecake instead. confaiJling the cake, is placed on the' . Think about ~arbage or c·ount to ten C~eesecake is better than sex and· . ' r · r.emember to register to vote. '

i • Lee Kessler . , · I.NTRODUCI.NG DOÖNESBÜ,RY.( • I ' DOONESBURY , . . · · by Garry· Trudeau . ~~,.. -.r-""------~--~-.....~ :, Mt<. cAEN,. I HAV& ' NO INTENT/ON OP Y8AH! toS!N6 7118 PR/MARY! lA/HAT J(JGt/.­ 'lJfl 17M8ts \ SAIP! ...a D/NNER?! / ~t &l~ssi~ie~ fiSs

DOONESBURY

IA/&l/.., As A MATTGR. OF FACT, ·I AM toOK!N6 ~ f)O YO/) ' f'OR A MGP!A PIJRSON­ , HA~ ANY SUOI !3SP6C!AU.Y SOMGONe EXPER/G/IIC5, WITH 13XPI31

I,

Dear folks, : I 'd ~urely I ike to have my Nikon back- 1 need 1t for my wor~. lf whoever took it al~:>ng with the firewot:ks for our anmial Bard r .... F1reworks Newsreel., would leave it in the p o l'd appreciate it. · · ,. • · · · ~' DOONESBURY by Garry. r Thanks, Bruce Baillie 'ZIJNK6Ji.?! r 5()1<6 . POlI. The. drama workshop' of the- ·Nu Black Studies PrQ,srarn in Greenhaven pri~ son, Stormvi~le, N.Y., is seeking talented ·· actors and actres'ses to assist them in presenting. life thoughts and . vie~s on· stage and· video. For furthur information, .coritact: Linda Posage, · box 604. · · · ·

... :I F Page 5 THE. BARI:J.~UZZLE .2 -l DOWN . AC ROSS 1. and alack ..,. · - '' -'-1 . Oohs and 2.157 varieties or Government Prof. (2 words) · 4. Super~ bat, or spider 3_above, ditto s: With lemoh or lime (pl.} 4. Bank in Albany . _ 9. Rent 5. Holiday shopping occurrence (2 words} 11.-the Argonauts {2 words) . 6. Finished 15,_ Rifle, prepare to shoot (2 words} 7. Footb.all Po~ition 1 16.- night visitors {3 words} · 8. After Fri'sand before Sun~s · . 17. J .C. and Sam, golfers - 10. Swedish car . 19. Singer J.J. 11 . Gauuthag's dog . 20. Karl_ Kansas Shotputter . 12. jai_(2 words) · · 22. Point or former Blithewood owner · 13. National Hospital Association (abbr.) 24. Numb~red musieal compositian 14.-0f(sp.) _ j _ ~- · 25. This evening (var.) - 16. Small drink (2 words) or bill 30. Morning · ' · 18. Police street bust routine 32. We (sp.) 21. French citY 34. Sonny and Cher, formerly 23. Ever present Bard dog · 35. Beiongi ng to Baltimare Oriole 1st baseman 26. Obstetrics (abbr.) , 37. Annotations (abbr.} 27. Wfthout problems (2 words) 39. Owl or give a _ · · 28. _out (indecisive) (2 words) · 40 .. Living or bath (abbr.) 29. Regis or John · 41 . Adjective suffix 30. Bric (2·words) 42. Where oats are grown 31. _To/d Me Na,t To Conie 45. prayer ending 33. Bard tenements 4 7 City autos 36. Bard 's cowboy 49 Third Ave. 38. Bag toa westerner 51. Macho cigarette 43. Before show or after small - · by·Jamie Fishman· 53. Certain newspapers • _ 44. Over-cooked boots Next Jssue -54. Yes (sl.) Answers in 46. Them (sl.) · SS. Rock from space . 48: Previous A&P slogan 57. Seaweed ; ...... ,?0. Goes with bagels . 59. A big naise (2 words) 52. Moon vehicle . - ·- . 62. Approve - 56. Joan or Pisa 64. Word used" with cards or drugs 58. Glass in windows 66. _is the life · 59. A-one-and-_· (2 words) 67. Hot drink served on- TWA 60. Chocolate or brown 69. Finger no ise 61. Drive or up · 71. Bowery radio station 63. Greenhornet's robin or bio lady , 72. Dress bottoms in England 65. Passing or bowling · · 74.-chi 67. Too bad (sl., abbr.) 76. Girl 's name -... 6&. The_way (Chin.) 77. lflow's th is for ' ? . · 70. What N ix oh tried to get it down (reason for layoffs) 78._expenses (2 words) 73. Not Miss or Mrs. 75. _Andor but

-Author apologizes for misspelil ng Selinger and 9mmiting a··c~ue for elf in theprevious · ..... puzzle. ·. . · _

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Page 6 - -;_-. I . . I Soft_patt lt's that time· of ye;1r again when . a very po~erful · Stiener'~ Sport Center people's . minds t_urn to thoughts of soft­ team on Apr il 9th or · 16th. Last· ball. This year Bard· should field one year Stiener's humiliated Bard in a dou­ of its ·best. softball team's in a decade. ble-header by scores of 13-2 and 12-4. Along with last · year's returning\ lettermen Having asked Phil about ·sard's chances are a host of Tookies that have ex- of getting by Stiener's he stated: I pressed an· interest. Player-coach Phil see no reasan wh y we shou/dn 't beat Carducci sees his team going places this . Steiner's; one thing Is certain; we'lf year. Ph il, .when ask ed about the give .them one hell of a game. We 're teams ch an ees this year state d: We . going tp practice every chanee we get. ' should make it past the first roum;J . of We 'Il play many inter-squad games and the North-Easiern Athe/etic Conterenee by Aprif 24th, we 'Il be reqdy both phy­ Cha,mpionship Playoff. Last year we sical/y and mentally to upset Hofy Cross ·sported la fine defense but our hitting in · our seasan 'S oDener. · was /acRing, now we have at /east four · '··· · Bards first home game is· April p/ayers whq can reach the woods. 25Jh, a double-header against Vassar, The $eason's hignlight will be a . (Sunday at 12:30). So _let's all come double-header with a local men's- league out .. and cheer our boys pn. söftball team. Bard will go ·up against Robert Galluscio ·- ~ \

-_.1 . .

. ; ~- Schedule - · Spring 1976 · VARSITY TENNIS I Women's Men's _I April 14 Vassar INTRAMURA.LS- I . pm I 23 Marist April 14 Wed. · Vassar A 3:00 pm ~ 27 Ulster C.C. . SPORTS - PHIL CARDUCCI 1 16 Fd. , Marist A 3:00 I am ..' 24 Sat. NAC Tournament H 10:00 I May 5 Ulster C.C. 3:00 pm Int ram ural· Bas~etball ., 29 Thurs. Berksh ire ' e Ch ristfan H 1 3:00 pm I J ·' • Fri. ' Ulster C'. C. H 1 30 I Resul ts ~f .Piayoff for 2nd Place .May 3 Mon. Dutchess C.C. A 4:ÖÖ Prl! 3:00pm March 23rd I I A 6 Thurs. SUNY - New Paltz A 3:30 pm 3:00pm - Oneon,ta H H 1 · 8 Sat. SUNY 1:30 pm I H 3:00pm Jtalian Aii-Stars 60 1l Tues. putchess C.C. H Tewksbury . 58 4:qo pm I A 3:30pm 1

------thampionship Playoff (2nd . Se~:' ) . DOON~SBÜRY by ·Garry Trudeau Thurs. April 8th ®. 8pm ~------~------~---- · \ ~------~--~~------~ JONAS, JIJST LML-· WllJI MG­ Brew's Crew vs. ltalian All-Stars tuHAT'!

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