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Year 3, Vol. 1 • Feb. 5 - March 4, 2009 The www.therainbowtimesnews.com FREE! Gay-friendly place at a A Transgender Valentine ainbow imes great value T p. p. R 14 6 Your LGBT News in Western MA, the Capital District of NY, Northcentral CT, & Southern VT RE-ASSIGNMENT SURGERY & TRANSGENDER INMATES P. 3 CUPID AIN’T STUPID: LGBT VALENTINE’S DAY GIFT GUIDE P. 15 LGBT STUDENTS OF COLOR EXPERIENCES IN SCHOOL P. 5 FAITH, FAMILY, GOD & SEX! P. 4 NATALIE PORTMAN, FRANKENWEENIE & MAD MEN P. 7 VAGINA MONOLOGUES & MAMMA MIA COME TO NOHO P. 8 & 9 2 • Feb. 5 - March 4, 2009 • The Rainbow Times • www.therainbowtimesnews.com Opinions C’mon Out – Just Ask! Advice column The Controversial Couch By: Tetty Gorfine* will. If you have been fear- Lie back and listen. Then get up and do something Dear Tetty: ful of pushing the envelope By: Suzan Ambrose*/TRT Columnist they are real men.” Their member- ship in fighting organizations is a I have been out for years and for all this time my with them and not speaking s one president enters the openly about your life as a White House, another man “badge of honor” that says, “We're (republican) family have never really accepted me not sissies or pansies.” An infusion as a lesbian. They have referred to my partner as lesbian, your partners, etc it Aslinks out—none too soon. of sissies and pansies among the company of my friend, they never ask anything about my life does not surprise me that And, as the door hits the ex-prez in the proverbial buttocks, I don't think we'll be real men, Lind warns, could damage “military and recently when I sent them an article about gay they have been more than hearing the words, "Y'all come back and unit cohesion.” and lesbian marriage, my sister writes back telling TETTY GORFINE happy to pretend your les- Pansies, huh? I always thought of myself as bian life does not exist. Most oppressed visit!" from the lips of the Obama's anytime me that I am no more oppressed than white soon. Change is the mantra of this President, more of a Venus fly trap—got teeth? groups complain that it should not be up to Christian people. She sited the example that her and that's a good thing for our community and Can you imagine an openly gay military? them to be responsible in educating the dom- daughter can't celebrate Christian holidays or sing our world. Goodbye, Georgie-boy. It's hard to visualize a military in America Christmas carols in school! I want to stand up to inant group. And while this may be true, One such positive change President Obama without discrimination running through it. We them but I also don't want to lose their love. Can often times, unless the oppressed person does has promised is the repeal of the ban on gays know that certain individuals have fought you give any advice as to what I can do? not stand up and educate, it does not happen. in the military. If there's one way to bring the against the idea of such an armed force their There's another piece of good news here. whole lives. How much more harassment Many thanks, country together in unity, it's by bringing up While this might be one of the most difficult would our gay soldiers have to endure if they Jan those gay issues! Just ask Bill Clinton how things you can do, standing up for yourself is well it went back in '93. And, as expected, the were out? Would it be any more than women Dear Jan: very very good for you health. Within the right-wing homophobes are already talking or blacks have received over the years? It wasn't that long ago that soldiers were saying I am very sorry for you and countless other LBGT community there is a slogan, "silence dirt. they didn't want to serve next to ‘negros,’ people who must cope with so much homo- equals death." To me this means that when One such individual is William Lind, co- creator of the Fourth Generation Warfare con- women, or any other minority group that's phobia within your families. This is a very we humans can't be who we are, when we gained entry into the good ol' boys club. important issue; one in which affects so many hide and shirk away from the true expression cept, who wrote in UPI.com that we shouldn't let gays in the armed services because if we And, yet, a Dec. 2006 military poll found LGBTQ people. So I'd like to spend some of ourselves we can not thrive. Instead we can do, “men who want to prove they are real men that 73% would accept openly gay and lesbian time with it. suffer an emotional and even a physical death. will not join.” I don't know about you, but if military members. That's a huge increase over It is unfortunate that people react to things If silence equals death, then openness and a man has to prove he's a man—like you the 90’s when President Clinton was dealing they don't understand with judgment and standing up for ourselves must equal life. don't know this truth every time you head on with this issue, when 13% approved. But, sometimes even hatred. The judgment and Standing up for yourself, taking the risk of over to the bathroom—well, those are the there is still that 27% of soldiers that may hatred however, is really fear. When we confronting your sister's ignorance may feel ones I worry about the most (And then we make the transition difficult for LGBT people. humans don't understand something, it is extremely frightening. But if she hasn't reject- give them guns?). See Couch on Page 10 common to feel fear, since on a primal level, ed you yet, I doubt she will. I have seen with Lind assures us that “men fight to prove what we don't understand could be a threat. A my clients over and over again, that when common response to threat is fear. But since they really stand up for themselves, their fam- Letters to the Editor The Rainbow Times fear is an emotion people often don't want to ilies begin to develop respect.If your family Dear Editor, feel, it is easily turned into aggression, i.e. 351 Pleasant St., #322 members get the message from you that you I recently found your paper in down- Northampton, MA 01060 judgment and even hatred. will no longer accept being invisible, my bet town Springfield. I had no idea that www.therainbowtimesnews.com So when you come out to your family it is is that they will begin to change. there was such a great GLBT paper around. How long have you been pub- [email protected] only natural for you to hope for support, Family ties are often very strong. These ties lishing? I admit that I do not get out [email protected] understanding and to be seen. Too many peo- are built on love. I believe in the end, love much, so I’m sure this is why I was MA: 413.204.8959 • NY: 518.391.2617 ple instead receive anger, confusion and lack inevitably trumps fear. unaware of your existence. Since I hate Fax: 866-310-8512 of acceptance. When a person comes out to going out, is there another way I can Good luck Jan! Publisher Tetty Gorfine their family, it shakes up their world. The peo- get your paper at home? Gricel M. Ocasio Jack/ie Kennedy Tetty —Gus Traverson, West Springfield, MA ple who become angry or judgmental are not Editor-In-Chief Sales Associate: capable of seeing you. They are confronted Nicole Lashomb Liz Johnson C'mon Out! Submit your questions to Tetty Editor’s Response: with something they don't understand and Dear Gus, Distribution Randa Hatoum Gorfine, Director of LifeCourse Counseling have become afraid. I am thrilled that you have found us! If Ben Peterson Reporter: Center. Simply go to www.lifecourse.net and Lindsay Wilson This is why it often takes family members you would like to have The Rainbow Columnists: click on "Ask Us A Question." All questions Times delivered to your house, please Suzan Ambrose Webmaster: time to work their way towards acceptance of will be answered on the bulletin board. One visit our website and subscribe online. Paul P. Jesep Jarred Johnson their family member's sexual orientation or Deja N. Greenlaw or two will be printed next month here in The gender identity. In my years of working with Rainbow Times. The Rainbow Times is published monthly by The LGBTQ people I have seen families respond Dear Editor, Rainbow Times, LLC. TRT is affiliated with one of three ways. There are those who can *Tetty also been a psychotherapist since 1980. I wanted to express my concerns about AP/Newsfinder, QSyndicate, and the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. The articles She has worked extensively with LGBTQ individu- the front page picture of last month’s readily accept their loved one for who they edition. I found it inappropriate in written by the writers, columnists, and correspon- are. There are those who gradually and over als, couples and groups and has supervised both nature and was completely shocked at dents express their opinion, and do not represent the clinicians and therapists in training.