CLIMB® “Safer at Home” Resources

For 20 years The Children’s Treehouse Foundation has been helping children identify and express their emotions while supporting parents to hear those emotions and keep communication open during a time of confusion, high stress and new, uninvited realities.

During the coronavirus worldwide pandemic, families with a parent or loved one who has cancer have whole new levels of stress, worry and disruptive realities to deal with. What better time than now for us to reach out and help. You will find:

Ø 3 videos of activities you can do at home to name and talk about the new emotions families are experiencing Ø The three videos are designed to build on each other. o The first video invites everyone in the family to identify and own their feelings. o The second video offers suggestions for how to talk about those feelings, allowing everyone to share those feelings in healthy and constructive ways. o The third video focuses on how to turn those feelings outward. What can individuals and the family DO at this moment in time. Ø Accompanying written resources with additional activities and websites, books and links to help support children and parents

A couple of words of explanation about the resources:

We have built on and expanded the concepts and principles of the CLIMB® Program to create these materials. If your family has participated in CLIMB®, you will recognize them. If not, this will give you a taste of what CLIMB® can do for your family

Secondly, there is a growing body of research which demonstrates positive outcomes associated with empowering children’s voices. Just like the CLIMB® Program, these studies identified play and distraction as an important component of emotional care, particularly during a crisis. Taking the time to listen to children’s concerns, responding to their questions, and valuing their ideas and suggestions empowers children and builds their self-esteem, positive self-regard, and enhances their overall welfare.

For more information go to www.childrenstreehousefdn.org or talk with the social worker or child life specialist at your hospital.

CLIMB® “Safer at Home” Video 1 Handouts

TIPS DURING A TIME OF HEIGHTENED ANXIETY*

1. TAKE A BREATHER. Whether you’re working from home, trying to figure out where your next paycheck is coming from, or are concerned about an older relative, there’s a lot to think about right now. It’s important to take a moment to turn it all off every once in a while. Take a step back and count to 10 or try to slow things down. Take deep breaths. If your stomach is in knots, focus on it while you breathe in and out. Not your vibe? Turn on your favorite album. Journal. Do something that makes you feel good. 2. STAY PRESENT. We like how AFSP put it: “When you find yourself worrying about something that hasn’t happened, gently bring yourself back to the present moment. Notice the sights, sounds, tastes, and other sensory experiences in your immediate moment and name them. Engaging in mindfulness activities is one way to help stay grounded when things feel beyond your control.” 3. CREATE A NEW SCHEDULE. As many people are adjusting to different work hours or a new work environment (hello, kitty climbing all over the keyboard during a Zoom meeting), it’s important to organize a schedule and stick to it. That might mean waking up early to crank out some work so you can switch gears mid-morning to focus on your kids. Figure out what you need to accomplish and then prioritize the list; Evans suggests dividing it into “must-dos” and “want-to-dos.” 4. LIMIT YOUR NEWS AND SOCIAL MEDIA INTAKE. Put yourself on a news diet. Yes, it’s important to stay in the know, but if you notice you’re starting to feel stress or angst, shut it down. From personal experience, I’ve found it helpful to set time limits for specific apps (ahem, Twitter) on my phone and to stop looking at all news after about 8 p.m. AFSP says to “separate what is in your control from what is not.” Restricting your news consumption is one of those things that’s within your control. 5. GET MOVING—AND GET OUTSIDE. Try to incorporate some sort of physical activity every single day, even if it’s just a walk around the block—maintaining appropriate social distance, of course. Exercise is good for both your physical and mental health and, as mom always said, a little fresh air will do you good. 6. STAY IN TOUCH. Incorporate time for digital happy hours or phone call catch-ups with friends, family, and co-workers. Hearing a loved one’s voice can have a big impact, and they’ll appreciate that you’re checking in. In today’s society, we’re so quick to just send a text message or message via Facebook. It’s not personal. We don’t hear that person’s voice, who wants us to stop relying on the fallback, “How are you?” “Pick up the phone and say, I’m just checking in on you. Leave it open. Give that person time and space to process whatever it means. I think that will get a different response. 7. KEEP TABS ON YOURSELF. Are you crying more often? Quicker to anger? Do you find yourself not wanting to engage with others? Pay attention to the emotional changes you’re experiencing, as well as how those around you might be reacting. If your emotional response is different than it typically would be, [it might be time] to go out and get some fresh air or take a walk [or] step away for a moment and listen to music and not think about work or your child’s schooling. 8. ASK FOR HELP. We’re all navigating a completely unexpected way of life. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, whether that’s from your friends (see number six) or asking your older children to pitch in in different ways than they’re used to. We’re very much in that place right now where it’s going to take a village for us all to get through this. It’s OK—encouraged, even—to reach out to others when you need to talk or share how you’re feeling, whether that’s a spouse, a friend, or a mental health professional. 9. REMEMBER: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. This is real for all of us. It’s not just one culture; it’s not just one ethnicity or socioeconomic class. There’s no one that will not be impacted by this.

*Taken from the Mental Health Center of Denver and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) CLIMB® “Safer at Home” Video 1 Handouts

CLIMB® “Safer at Home” Video 2 Handouts

For stress-relievers or to use up extra energy, try these resources:

Ø For over 20 years, Conscious Discipline has fostered a fundamental shift in thinking that empowers adults and children to be the change they want to see in the world. www.consciousdiscipline.com

Ø https://babbledabbledo.com/80-easy-creative-projects-for-kids/ 16. Parent Child Art My husband and my daughter enjoy doing this. Take a piece of paper and draw a line down the center. Sit side by side with your child and create a drawing or painting using the same materials and a theme. For more art games you can do with friends I highly recommend my friend Jeanette’s book Tangle Art. See her symmetry drawing game in action here.

Ø Living Beyond Breast Cancer video (Immune boosting foods) https://www.instagram.com/tv/B-vMI1fApsp/ Ø Ø Waterford Place - Waterford Place Cancer Resource Center where services and support, free of charge, are available to anyone impacted by a cancer diagnosis. Support - Connection Calls and Support Groups Mind, Body and Spirit - sound healing meditation, guided meditation, arts/crafts Wellness - Yoga, Pilates and Gentle Movement

Ø Make time for Self-Care during these stressful days. It can be simple things like write in a journal, read inspirational quotes, wrap up in a blanket and watch a favorite movie or enjoy an Epsom salt bath.

Ø Spy Paper looks like ordinary paper, but is unique in that it dissolves in just seconds when contacted with liquid! So, write your worries and concerns on a piece of spy paper, put them in water and watch your worries melt away. (Available on Amazon)

Ø Make Dream Catchers

Ø Make a family scrapbook page – “Our Family during Coronavirus”, using pictures, words, funny stories, etc…

Ø Treasure hunt – find something in your house that reminds you that you can get through this or an item that makes you feel safe or happy, even now. Give CLIMB® “Safer at Home” Video 2 Handouts

the family 15 minutes to search. Then re-gather and share with each other what you chose and why. Then carry it with you or put it someplace where you’ll see it every day.

Ø Send a text to the person you miss the most

Ø Use Therapist Aid.com as a resource

Ø Complete Manual of Indoor and Outdoor Games for Young Children by Jean R. Feldman Ø Ø The GameGal - https://www.thegamegal.com/ Paper Telephone game Ø Ø Find the PBS children's cartoon, Arthur, and look for the episode, "When Someone You Know Has Cancer". This is an accompanying educational booklet from Livestrong: http://www.scholastic.com/livestrong/pdfs/WGBH_LiveSTRONG_Arthur_booklet_ENG-Final.pdf

Ø Yoga- https://www.cosmickids.com (suggest spider pose) Has anyone tried yoga before? This will not be a standard yoga class but it can be rather fun if you have an open mind!

Circle of Hands Everyone works on one project together Materials needed paper, construction paper, crayons, colored pencils, or markers and glue On one piece of paper, trace each family member's hand, overlapping to fit the page, and making sure each person’s hand comes in contact with another person’s. Cut hearts out of construction paper, one per family member and secure them in place so the hearts are held by the hands. On the heart, write one hard-to-have feeling that is there because of the cancer. Talk about how sharing with each other can make the difficult feelings easier to deal with.

CLIMB® “Safer at Home” Video 3 Handouts

Why I’m Grateful

I’m grateful for my family because ______

Something good that happened this week was ______

I’m grateful for my friendship with ______because______

I’m grateful for who I am because ______

Something silly that I’m grateful for ______

Something else I am grateful for ______

GUIDELINES FOR SPECIAL TIME WITH YOUR CHILD 1. Set aside 10-20 minutes for special time with your child 2. One child at a time 3. Be specific with the child and let them know it’s their special time 4. Relax! 5. Allow your child to choose the activity for their special time 6. Catch and praise your child’s positive behavior during special time 7. Never use special time as a punishment for your child 8. Aim for at least once per week

DATE/Child Duration Activity Good Behaviors Caught (mins)

Example: 10 mins Played a card game Jen picked out a game that she is good at. 11/10 - Jen Jen won the game. Jen picked up the cards and put them away.