' '~ "Insane" Mother Gets Jjfe Sentence by jJacqueline LaDuke it. The first one is Yates' personal and from her and then took her to another their lifestyle. After being married for family history of mental illness. One of mental hospital, where she once again three years, Russell was offered a job her brothers suffered from bipolar dis stayed. She was released shortly, this in Florida. He wanted to buy a trailer order, and her other brother along with On March 13th, 37 year old time with a different medication: and drive the family there. They lived her sister suffered from depression. Andrea Yates of Houston, Texas Haldol, an anti-psychotic. This medica- in the trailer for 2 years, and then Andrea's first major breakdown was in lion yielded drastic 2 received a life sentence for 2 counts of improvement. She Russell became dissatisfied with the June of 1999 when she attempted sui was returning to her "old self." At capital murder for drowning her chil time non-portability of it. They then bought cide by taking 40 trazodone pills. this, Andrea saw it a good idea to have an old GMC bus, and converted dren. Although she it into another baby. (The Yates already their home. They drove around chang- drowned all five of her had 4 children at the moment.) She ing residences constantly. Andrea children, she faced trial delivered the baby girl, the first home-schooled the children so only for killing three of her it was- daughter, Mary. A few ------· -----. children,;6 month old n't a problem. It Mary, 5-year old John, and months later, Andrea Sh d · b d wasn't until became ill again. -She Andrea had the 7-year old Noah. The yee Sta ln e was hospitalized charges she received f h first major because of scratch- were the killing of a child mOSt O t e time, breakdown that ing more bald spots under the age of 6 and they moved into her head, and for killing 2 people in the scratching bald back into a real refusing to eat and same event or scheme. house. Yates barely missed the talk. She was _spots into her Although seem- released once she death sentence. ingly supportive Andrea Yates started feeding her- h d d" · h of Andrea, self, but was re-hos- Russell pied not guilty by reason ea , 1gg1ng er was of insanity. Defense psy pit~lized after she herna1· 1s 1·nto always seen by was caught by her chiatrists and other mental others as suspi- mother-in-law filling health workers tried to cious, starting prove to the jury that up the bathtub in her limbs and suppos- from Andrea's house for no appar- Yates suffered from psy mother to her chotic illusions caused by ent reason. It was edly hearing voices friends to a thought that she post-partum depression, a roommate of might try to drown condition affecting women ·d · h · hers in one of herself. She started the mental hos- after childbirth, among an aVlng VlSlOnS. several other mental disor taking Haldol again, Some of these pitals. "To me, and no longer was ders including schizophre he was suicidal. Although nia (although she was d h sneaky," said there was no drastic never formally diagnosed include earing Lori, Andrea's improvement in her roommate. with it) and depression. Despite the The Trazodone is an antidepressant used condition, she was sent many disorders Yates may have been commands such as major reason as a sleeping aide. She was temporari home. When discharged suffering while she killed her children, why they are ly put in a mental hospital. When from the hospital, she defense mental health personnel testi "Get a knife!" and turning investi- released, she was put on an antide was taken off the Haldol gations on fied, she knew that what she was pressant named "Zoloft." She stayed in doing at the time was wrong. Had she and put on another anti- then seeing a knife Russell is bed most of the time, scratching bald depressant. About a not known, she would have been con because he spots into her head, digging her nails month later when she sidered as insane and would not have b b. trusted Andrea into her limbs and supposedly hearing drowned her children. been sentenced for life. However, not Sta Ing Someone. to stay alone in voices and having visions. Some of Another possi- the house with guilty due to insanity still has a type of these included hearing commands ble reason why Yates sentence. People found not guilty the children on such as 'Get a knife!" and then seeing murdered her children possibly has to the morning she killed them. Officials because of insanity are stricken to a knife stabbing someone. Shortly do with her husband, Russell. At this think that he should have known better. mental hospitals until they are consid after being released from the mental moment, investigations are being done The final possible cause of ered as no longer insane (if that ever hospital, Yates was to meet a new psy on their relationship. Friends of Andrea the children's death is Andrea's devo- occurs!). chiatrist. The day before the meeting, say that Russell always had control lion to religion. The GMC bus the fami- The question that excited she was found in the bathroom stand issues. Things had to be done his way. ly bought was from an evangelist everyone is, " Why did Andrea Yates ing in front of the mirror with a knife They suspect that part of Andrea's preacher, whom Andrea exchanged kill her children?" There are several pressed against her throat. Her hus mental illness could have been caused many letters with. The Yates family ideas that tend to propose answers to band was able to get the knife away by Russell. Another cause could be (continued on page 5) lii\'Ji Increased Internet I Isage Ca11sfar I Ipgrade Download speedsmay double in upcoming weeks of the total 4.5 Megabits of bandwidth screenshot of Internet use at Bard. other big files are all simple things we by !Mike Melanson I and faculty, although allotted a greater Complaints continued to roll in and can all do to make the Internet quicker amount of bandwidth, were essentially finally the decision was made to and more available to everyone. Bard has Over the past three years, ~enied access to all file-sharing pro- upgrade Bard's Internet service from All of these are much simpler seen a 500% increase in student grams. · 4.5 Mb to 10 Mb, which is in the and less restrictive than the measures Internet use. Resnet first brought the Over the Fall semester, a process as we speak. other campuses have taken, such as Internet to 130 Bard students in 1998. Now, only three years later, there are 650 students using the Internet on a daily basis from their dorm room. That's 75% of the on-campus student body. This, in conjunction our unending use of programs like Napster, Audiogalaxy, Kazaa, Morpheus and Direct Connect, means just one thing - an Internet connection so slow that you'd rather go back to dialing up with AOL than rely ing on Bard's "high speed' Internet. Bard's network first reached its con stantly drained and overloaded state at some point last year. Students were downloading more than ever, grabbing up every available bit of bandwidth, and Henderson was bombarded with complaints from 3 students and faculty to file-shar alike. In response, Dave Maswick, group of students brought this issue to This upgrade is due to be denying access altogether Dimitri Papadimitriou, and the rest of a focal point with the administration, completed in the coming weeks and is ing programs of any sort. Throughout Dave Maswick has been the 'Internet Gods' at Bard decided reaching two conclusions. First, this hoped to pacify the situation for at least this process, "keep the peace across various something needed to be done. "modern Bard student" needs to lessen the next year. However, "it is likely," trying to the across Just 18 months prior, the bandwidth had some of their MP3, movie and whatev Maswick pointed out, 'that we will constituencies," and avoid Mbs to and file-sharing. been effectively tripled from 1 .5 er-else-they-can-get-their-hands-on increase again in the next year." He the board ban of MP3's an issue, however, that he feels 4.5 Mbs, so the administration did what downloading to make way for neces hopes that, after installing and testing This is was necessary. Last semester a "band sary academic use. Second, the the new line, speeds will be able to be the Bard community needs to address. needs to be a frank discussion," width shaper' was installed to ensure Internet at Bard needs to be upgraded increased to an ISDN connection level, "There faculty notes, "of the place of information that each and every student and in order to meet the ever-growing needs more than double what we now have. he life. member would have reasonable access of the modern Bard student. Nonetheless, Henderson still urges the technology in modern student it?" At a to the Internet at all times Beforehand, In order to deal with the first community to take certain steps to mini What is its role? How key is attract science stu the Resnet was a virtual free-for-all. issue, the students were given 0.5 of mizing Internet traffic. Turning off your school attempting to its developing science pro Whoever grabbed the most bandwidth 4.5 Mbs of available bandwidth devoted computer when you're not using it, turn dents for gram and keep in stride with the rest of first kept it until they were done, leaving entirely to file-sharing programs. Even ing off the uploading capability of file community, I strongly the majority of the campus to divide the so, 50% of the total bandwidth is domi sharing programs, and turning to friends the academic urge Bard to engage in this debate. remains. In order to address this issue, nated by Kazaa use, as shown by the rather than the Internet for music and each student was allotted 12K/second Prayer Room Opening Members of the Economics Club at the Eastern Sometimes it seems like Bard is some sort of lndie holy land where all the Economic Association. rules of the real world have been very tastefully inverted. What used to be subculture (That's the Observer's own News Editor, M. Zubair is here almost ridiculously mainstream. What I used to take for granted as basic insti tutions are here tolerated and appreciated, yet secondary concerns. Of all these Hossain, on the far right.) institutions that are so in the minority at Bard that they verge on becoming classified as underground movements, organized religion figures pretty decently on the list. This is why the opening of the Prayer Room on Wednesday, March 13 was a truly unusual event. With the help of leaders from within the Bard community - Imam Salahuddin Muhammad and Rabbi Natan Margalit - members of MSO and JSO dined, sang, and, yes, even danced together in celebration. Students were given an incredible taste of each others' lives (and traditional dishes) in a ceremony that chose to emphasize differences between their religious groups as much as the connections between them. Rarely at Bard have I seen so many students being addressed specifically with regard to their faith at one time. Rarely in the world do we see Muslims dance to the music heralding the presentation of the Torah, or Jews trying to pick up the Arabic lyrics of a Muslim devotional song. Even though the scene I witnessed was atypical of a Wednesday night at Bard, and was perhaps meaningful to only a frac tion of its students, it did represent many of the college's values. One of these is actually the desire to accommodate all kinds of minority groups on this campus. Bard didn't necessarily ship a slice of the 'real world' into its bubble, but it did something better - somehow making it easier to be both religious and a Bardian. - by Farihah Zaman March 28, 2002 llliii Read This Before the Bars Start to Close at 2am ... Really. Despite the lack of newspaper articles, the Student Life Committee is actually working very hard. We have laid out primary goals for the semester and we are moving along nicely with each of them. At the beginning of the semester the committee met at Erin Cannan's for a "Homosexuality and Religion: three-hour brainstorming session. We decided to tackle the monstrous questions of: What is student space? How do clubs go about getting these spaces? What can be done to ease the process? After many meet Traditional Vie,vs in Islam and Judaism" ings with the administration, some haggling over the use of space, and a "walkabout" with Jim Brudvig, Erin Cannan, Allen Josey, and Fred \.ViLhAcademic pre~emation~ by: Barnes, we have begun to settle the issue. The SLC is working towards creating a process by which any club seeking space will appeal to the committee. We will survey what we have and what they need and then Everett K. Rowson try to accommodate the club. If you are a club-head and would like to t.,z:, 1';-,.,,son to an ~&&oc1.«te ?rerf6saor r-.1~ 11.:t:tbic see about getting some space on-campus, please email the committee at ~>.i.;.'i-1~ ~t; tJ¥, t!::;i.\f~..r-.1.t;:,- of ~nc.~~·lv.,.fu,tt, ff~ b..ii:t the address below. w~.1 t.t.4ti ~ n~c::z: o.t' o:t-1.cl~c:> ~c::l..,."d.J.~ ''T'w-;;, H.:-~etic tcttrc~tiv,•1 fr(;.O. ~u►.. L.it.a.r•t.c..r•: The Student Government, along with the Dean of Student's •1.-Saf.a·d.:. a L...~• <1.t a:l-sha..1t1. and thn-t!~uu.ya.l .'.I office, has been attempting to combat the drunk driving that takes place Mtt~~Y)'clJlfl" "h~ch w•i •:-,cl',l.,14:(1 1,.r, S~•i-ot.:c1.:i:« in C1a-.s¥i~ At'•tJi.: l..• t.«:=~tux1CL, * Wl.M l'~ Wit...o.d. to1U;h at Bard. We have launched a poster campaign throughout Bard and 2.lf. "H'r.1.q:ht 4n:i p~.Jl:;li.1:1hed u~ lSf97. Nc.t ~ll..l-00 pr•:a:Q?t't..1.!'.g .az. artizle on tr4(C..tic.r..al vi.e:w-~ -z.! Tivoli. Because this problem stems from so many different roots, we hnJP-ji,i:;,;un.:.J:11:ttyin laJ~s:\. have had to assess what the most effective method of battling the issue is. This still remains a pressing area of concern for us and we are Gwynn Kessler always open to suggestions of ways to address the problem in our com Dr. ~v1S.le~ :.& A..ann.at.A.nt:: Pro.!.e:e:i,;er c! l\fs.ligi.ol! ~t. munity. We are currently planning a presentation to be made by a NY the Uni·.re.ri-l~' et flor1..:U.. !ihe- hu w-:::..t:te.L z:ar.y State Trooper and the SLC called "Know Your Rights, NY State Law and 4.r:::..OlA-r; on M1ri~<-h, .,J~.,..i<--h ~nl.:tg,.f, ~nd .,.u,u:~l:tt.:, N~r p.e..$:: -:,xlc 1n~::.;.uJ~.-,: \•P.o,,£:)lC-a 'I. Poxxvo.o::f the Zero Tolerance Clause' . you in tho!=:~ !' k:Ce',+ yu~ '?'a..:1:>u..t. 'Fet.u ■ e:~: Jac::>b, The Student lsau, fl. lohf..nan _..nd A.'lar,. .. a.ad "!nt.~.l:'••~~lit):· and Life Committee also attended a meeting regarding 1 u,., '.a~•rt;,,n.~ of' ~-~,.,,.Q.ic ::t:lw.~. • Sh• will b-. Tivoli-Bard relations. Mary Backlund, Jim Brudvig, Erin Cannan and two px--.Jt«n'!.J..!".,gi:>t. ~t-~t..i Clean Plate is a food-waste-reduction waste, and based on that percentage, and hunger relief program sponsored by in May of 2001, Chartwells donated Chartwells and BERO. For one month, $300 worth of nqn-perishable food beginning April 8th, Kline workers will items to the Red Hook Emergency weigh and record the amount of food Food Pantry. At the time, Cindy Reid that's wasted at Kline each day. Upon was the site manager at the Office. She completion of the program, Chartwells was delighted to respond to my ques will donate non-penshable food to the tions regarding the donation. Emergency Food Pantry, located at the Northern Office of the Dutchess CL: Cindy, how were the people of our Community Action Agency in Red Hook. community directly affected by Project The specific amount of the donation will Clean Plate? be determined by our percentage of CR: $300 worth of food was donated to waste reduction. our Emergency Food Pantry, delivered Last year, Project Clean Plate directly by Chas. Chas called ahead to was in effect for one week. According to find out what items would be most use Chas Cerulli, the former manager of ful, like peanut butter, jelly, and tuna Chartwells, the project was a success. fish. It was all high-quality, new food, __ f!vt;;;~,-=~ There was an 18% reduction in food exactly what families need. The amount of food that Chas can buy by Braden Lamb wholesale is far more than a / need, and then take whatever food sta- family could buy at a grocery ples will get them through a difficult store. I would say that about time. Sometimes we even get students 75 people benefited from the who find themselves struggling, and if Chartwells donation. they get in a pinch, we're here to help. CL: How does the As Laurie DeCiutiis, the auditor of the Emergency Food Pantry Bard Environmental Resources work? Department says, "It's important to be CR: To access the conscientious about the waste that we Emergency Food Pantry, produce. Project Clean Plate brings that any community member to light, and if it helps students to be a may simply stop in, fill out a little more mindful, then I think it's a short paper to demonstrate good thing." March 28, 2002 _, There's Something Strange Coming 011t of the Showers Perplexed students inTewksbury begin tosuspect something is amiss. bylJacobCottingham called him a couple times but as of this writing he hasn't returned by messages. This is certain; much there is a mysterious, black, granular substance appearing in the That leaves mere speculation for now as to what the stuff is coming out of the Tewksbury showers. Several students are under the impression it is sand, though it's hard showers. Wesley said that he thinks "it has to do with regional drought. Lower water levels to tell exactly whether this is true or not. Recently, this message was written on the white and higher pockets of sand." He also added that he didn't really know the science of the board on the second floor; 'To whom it may concern: next time you decide to take a trip to matter. Mike Marlin, Jr. said he was "pretty sure I heard service master saying that all the the beach, don't wash the sand out of your ass into the end shower in the girls bathroom. dorms on campus were affected." I know I don't see anything like that in the shower I use in Thank you so much.' Underneath this another person wrote, "I heartily agree! I'm sick of Robbins, but there's also a drain the size of my fist smack-0ab in the middle of the floor. cleaning up your sand." Finally, a third person drew little arrows pointing to the previous comments and added, 'I don't know what you're talking about... I LOVEcleaning up other peoples' sand from the girls' shower." While it may not be "I just thought it was exactly shocking to hear Bard students erroneously Below:The •sand"-likesubstance highlighted so as to be easy on your eyes.Thisis a first floor shower. some dirty kid getting blaming others for their problems, the sand part before is something odd. in the shower I checked out the boy's shower on the first me." floor, about which I had also heard these sand rumors. Sure enough, after several moments of water wasting little black specks of something began to appear on the floor of the shower. I cautiously felt some between my fingers and I couldn't tell if it was just filmy sand or something else. After more water running, the "sand" began to accumulate in a noticeable amount. How long had this been going on? Mike Marlin, Jr., the PC of first floor Tewks said, "I first noticed it last semester and until a couple weeks ago I just thought it was some dirty kid getting in the shower before me." Curiously enough, few students I asked at 2:30 am Wednesday night knew about the "sand." There was one girl who didn't live there but had a friend that complained about it. Additionally, first floor resident Wesley Mathewson said he had noticed the sand in the showers saying, "You can see sand in there after a weekend when service mas ter hasn't come.' Apparently, the only showers noticeably affected are the girls sec ond floor and the boys on the first floor. I meant to ask the regular service master about the "sand," but the regu lar woman was filling in for someone in the campus center all week. Unfortunately, when I went over there the next day, she was nowhere to be found. I went to B&G and they said to call a man by the name of Dave Walsh who worked in B&G. I mom ... s Fighting For Virtua Fighter 4 by Ethan Hochgesang Reviewed \ik : • many letters with. The Yates .~:~"?,:::. ,;:,•··:~,> .. .. iJaqiijy was very religious, and held Number.One 3 &BibJe~tud}' prayer and sessions a veteran of video games I couldn't come up with three times a week. When Andrea MAN, I LOVE FIGHTING GAMES and this one is great. Despite being this theory on my own. Recently, there has been a lack of people was put In Jailthe day of the While waiting for Tekken 4 and Soul Caliber 2 to come out, this at the arcades where all these games come killings, she told the doctors that game is a good diversion and a great game in its own right. The playing video games as a suffering of consul sales. The reason behind she killed the children because fighting style is a mix between linear fighting and fluid, side step out, as well this is that fighting games are becoming too complex, and begin she was a bad mother. She said ping movements. The up/down motion of the character is good ners are feeling intimidated by the necessity of learning long com that she had failed her children, but all around movement isn't as smooth as in Soul Caliber. I bos. This is what Virtua Fighter 4 rectifies. The moves are some and that the Bible said that "it have to admit though, for a fighting game, the graphics are amaz what sim would be better for a person to be ing. The true display plistic so , flung into the sea with a stone of what fighting that the tied to ·his neck than cause little games can do with game ones to stumble" and that the only backgrounds is revolves way to rid the evil from inside of apparent in the stage around her would be to execute the chil where is snows. Your timing and herself. character movements dren and preci It js a mysterystill exact cause the snow to fly sion. A ly why Andrea Yates took her chil away and makes couple of breakfast table and impressions, just as if dren from the other them in the in the bath your character was drowned things tub filled with cold water then really going through about the snow. The best part carefully carried them to her bed game and tucked them in on the morn about it is that play. ing of June 20, 2001. However, between the rounds First we can imagine that all of the the snow is still gone. there is above factors played a role in this. One com the possi She should consider herself lucky plaint I have is that bility of that she did not receive the death after playing Tekken "ringing penalty, even if it may have been Tag, which has a out" your what she wished. selection of about oppo thirty characters, this nents, game seems a little knocking limited with only thir them out teen characters and of the one hidden one. The ring. characters have plen Some ty of moves and people throws as well as complain counters for your about this, but I like it. It adds another dimension to the game enemy's attacks and there are recovers from falling and being besides just ass kicking. It makes where you do things just as stunned. The characters are sufficiently unique so that there isn't important as the things you are doing. Second, in some "arenas" really an overlapping of moves that is seen in all fighting games there are walls that you can use to jack your opponent up against since Street Fighter 2. Now it is lime to show why I am writing for extra damage. All in all, it's a great game. Sega finally got the these articles and also the fact that I have too much time on my Virtua Fighter series to where ii can really contend. While I don't hands. I'd like to talk about the character moves and why they think that its going to quite come up to par with Soul Caliber 2 or are set up so. Tekken 4 it is definitely a buy for fighting game lovers. I give it a I was complaining about the lack of long combos and five out of five. lack of string hits but after some research I found out why. March 28, 2002 Little Otik by jeff eastman ···-············ MOST TREES GET THEIRNOURISHMENT through their leaves or they drag it up from the at whom fairy.tales are presumably aimed, would be very frightened by the grotesqueness ground through their roots. Little Otik is a tree that feeds itself through a knot with teeth of the creature. and a tongue in it. It uses its roots to shovel food into the knot. I enjoyed the film, particularly the little girl, with her family and the variety of foods Actually, Otik is not a tree but just a stump. I have been hearing about this stump they ate, her evasion of the ancient pedophile in the building, and her quarrels with the since a friend of mine saw it on a poster in New York City when the film was released there. cabbage gardener. The little girl also reads the original fairy tale in a book, which is layed . She then decided that someone in the community (I'm not telling who) resembles the tree out on the screen in cut- out animation. Unfortunately, I knew what was going to happen at stump. So I have been anticipating the film coming to Upstate just so I could verify. The the end long before it came, and since I didn't sympathize at all with Otik, who was a mon film turned out to be less funny (ha ha) and more funny (totally bizarre). ster. I sympathized with the little girl, who just wanted a friend. The story ts based on a fairy tale about a husband and a wife who are having trou One reservation I had about the film was the film's length. It definitely could have ble having a child, so they adopt an anthropomorphic tree stump that comes to life with an ended a little sooner. It's all right and it was a good way to spend Saturday evening. After enormous appetite. Little Otik also concerns a couple having a difficulty, who finds a stump the film, I went next door for a drink at the Rhinebeck Grille, which was not a good way to in the yard of their new country home. The husband cuts off the extra roots to make it look spend Saturday evening. I don't think I really like that place. like a baby with arms and legs and a face (even a little penis and an anus) and gives it to Little Otik is currently playing at Upstate. It is in Czech with English subtitles. his wife to ease her depression. She takes the game a little bit more seriously than her husband would have liked, especially when she told others that she was pregnant. I am happy with the number of people at the Film Committee events lately. When the BQE Eventually her little tree stump comes to life and starts devouring people. The story is dif Project presented The Blue Angel (although the Film Committee was only partly sponsoring ferent than the fairy tale because a lonely and curious little girl who lives in the same apart the event, the real kudos go to Matt Hopkins), Olin was packed. And I know I projected the ment building becomes the only person who cares for Otik. She does her best to protect Martin Scorcese films in the wrong order on Friday night- I'm sorry- but I was actually htm from the same fate that the tree stump in the fairy tale suffered. pleased by the number of people 't'ho told me that they had been excited to see The Last Filmmaker Jan Svankmajer used a very stylistic form animation to give life to Otik. Temptation of Christ for some time. I hope everyone got to see it on Sunday. I was not so He uses pixillation, or stop-motion animation, to produce the illusion of motion in an inani pleased when I looked out while during the Scorcese shorts and noticed that I was project mate object. Although the motion is choppy and unnaturally fast, its three-dimensional ing to an audience of empty chairs. Support the Film Committee. Go see the movies. presence in scenes with real, 24-frames-per-secondpeople lends to it a reality that you Spring Break begins this Friday, so therewill be no films, this weekend or next don't get from a book. After all, when you think about, aren't most fairy tales much more weekend. The weekend after Spring Break, the 12th and 14th of April, you can see Lost gruesome than anything you can imagine in real life? In Little Otik, you see the carcasses Highway, David Lynch'ssecond most recent film, and City of Lost Children, Jeunet and after Otik's meals, you see close-ups his mouth with crooked teeth and a wet tongue that Caro's visually stunning piece, in the campus center at the usual times. smacks his wooden lips. Although there are a lot of funny moments in the film, a little kid, s THIS NEW PIXAR FLICK ICE AGE is one hot piece of ass. This is the best In fact, it looked exactly like Arnold, I think that's the cartoon with the kid with Pixar flick since Toy Story 2. Actually I never saw Toy Story 2 but I really the big head, only more Asian-looking. Also, the animals, which were all enjoyed Toy Story so I bet I'd like the sequel. Sequels are always as amaz pre-historic animals such as wooly-mammoths, were pretty strange looking. ing as the original. I guess they all looked like the animals they were meant to represent but The best part of this cute, wonderful, and delightful little film was they were ugly too. Especially the rhinoceros. They had some weird struc the little squirrel with fangs. You know this doode. He's the little critter in ture that was supposed to be those horn things on its head but the structure the trailer. He is trying to dig an acorn into the snow and then suddenly he looked more like Bard-art than anything that belonged on a pre-historic ani slams it so hard into the ground that it causes an avalanche. That was the mal. scene in the trailer AND the opening sequence of the film. It was crazy The story line of the film is great. This mammoth, a sloth, and a beautiful. The funny thing about the squirrel was the fact that he wasn't tiger, an extremely uncommon group of pals in the pre-historic era, find a • even one of the main characters. He only periodically showed up and acted human child. That's it! Then it ends. But believe me. This is going to be a like a cute little dumb ass squirrel. It was pretty rad. blockbuster. A real winner. Stephanie Bauman had this to say about the Another really strange thing about this movie was that the anima film, "Shit, motherfucker. This was the best fucking kid's movie ever. I fuck tion looked different in certain parts of the film. They seemed to use different ing loved it! Ha ha. I want to marry this movie. Hey, Mike. Lets buy this styles of animation. At times the characters seemed to be more or less movie the second it comes out on video or digital video disk. But right now elaborately created than the backrounds. This was an interesting effect and lets get it on!!!' I couldn't have agreed with Stephanie more. Word. Go see because the movie was so odd, it fit in. The weirdest part of this movie, by Ice Age. Support independent film. far, was the animated humans. Wow. Talk about ugly. They've got no alibi. The little kid's head looked like a friggin' watermelon. But only on it's side. YO, BARD COLLEGE I have a radio show and y'all should listen to it because I play good music and I give out free prizes like CD's and Asian snacks I pick up from Chinatown in the city. My show is called AZN Nation; it comes on WXBC on Wednesdays' at midnight. I play Korean, Japanese, Hong Kong, and Taiwanese hip hop, pop, rock, and dance music. People always complain that WXBC or the Bard radio station sucks because they can't get good reception, but there's been great improvements this semester thanks to Eli Lehrhoff and his WXBC staff. The quality of the radio show on AM frequency has improved and there's a chill lounge outside the broadcasting booth in the basement of Manor for people to listen to music and hang out. .., If you have music that fits the description of the type of music I play on the show, t:T' feel free to email me ([email protected]) and I can play it on the air. So tune your 0 stereos to 540AM or if you have a MAC, go online to student.bard.edu/wxbc and o:1 ~ click "listen online" to pick up my radio show or any of the other DJs that broad '1 0... cast live all week long. 0 You can even call in the studio at X5300 to give a shoutout to your peoples or c,,er to 0 claim a prize. Seciously, Wednesdays' at midnight, Robert Lee's radio show, AZN '1 < Nation on WXBC. It's good for you, and you'll be unconsciously happy to be lis 0 '1 tening to some sweet Asian Sounds. March 28, 2002 than Deer Park, and that's all that counts anyway, right? bier. I would drink this water. I think Pepsi's it's water. Tastes Water Bonanza! by Louis W- You've got to hand it to Laura Lynn, they market L- Boring Water Award. competitive products in dull packaging at lower cost. An all right, but if I see you at the Grammy' ith one of Munroe excellent choice for the thrifty consumer. I mean, if these, [ wouldn't be surprised if your m. · career is --- you're buying water, might as well go for the cheap stuff. over. Then again, if you're at the Gr ~ I mean, hey, it's not like it was ever free or anything. career is over. SPRING HAS COME, and life is once more unfurling M- This waler must be under another label on the same around us. I am writing this from the mountains of North shelf. Ingles buys up cheap stuff and .puts their label on Dasani ••• $0,98 in Carolina, with my mother and my sister at my sides. it. Not a confidence builder. L- Coca-Cola is way behind Pepsi This week we are reviewing water, instead of beer, to besides soft drinks. If you drink this, · o . commemorate its vital role in our lives. Much of the Springtime Artesian Water **1/2 $0.89 Coca-Cola 98 cents to put water in a a-ke suspi United States is suffering from severe drought condi M- The artesian source has merit. This is just water, M- If the blue tint of the bottle doesn't yq warn you away tions. As close as Woodstock, reservoirs have shrunk straight out. cious, the fact that Coke bottles it shoul bottle_ to the point that the rooftops of houses flooded under Doesn't make you think. about it. from this excuse to sell a plastic are drinking the blood the reservoir have begun to show through. With this W- The advertised sports cap on this bottle reminds me W- If you drink this water, yotf Tennessee to the shortage in mind, we sampled twenty-four different kinds of a circumcised penis. I prefer semen to this artesian and souls of people from Paris, of water in our home near the source of the New River, wonder. uncharted waters ot tt\,e South Pacific. the oldest river on the continent. We three consider, - Tastes rocky. The twist sports cap is the most excit ourselves to be water experts, because we have thing about this Appling, Georgia offering. Evian *" $0.99 by the French, name, so up drinking the best water in the world right out of M- So hopeful, so brainwashed 1 tap. We proceeded through the tasting by reading land Spring .... $0.79 "just water.• with seemingly benign tumors label for processing information, and then samp ' stuff is bottled at the Polish Sportsman's Club by W- I used to date a guy brand at room temperature, to better taste the • rry. They'll deny it if you ask them, but then, on his neck, I think he liked Evian. of a private jet il I each. We saved the five sparklfng waters for I ,,,ny ~verything. L- The label says I could win the use Evian.cqm. But I already briefly considered rinsing our cups with our ta Poland, but Maine, th.ough I see why ii has enter the code on the bottle at taste. have a private Jet " '% between tastings, but soon decided we. · · Uyoily '&-' ing all our time peeing if we did this f · d for bottled water. I don't think it waters. And here we go! h Poland. Iceland Spring ""'~1/2$1.49 ...... , W- Nof so bad, bu1 you· better believe you are paying Our tap water (straight from the c Trinity .4 transatlantic shipping fees. bet this actually tastes Mom- Cool, pure, refreshing. Lik M-TheJori abel in bottled water history. L- Smooth and tasteless. I'll . ! good where it bubbles forth from that tiny island in tpe ·•·· Sip. Followih~'SU on the label and limit your intake Wheeler- Filtered through the roe of this •~tur ietary supplement,• or follow sea. intoJhe glass. Nothing better; salamander poop your pocfo(s M- It even sounded different pouring this Is real'water, foo bad i,t strong. L- Flowery.p ed (read the book} natural min- Yes, ladies and gentlemen, diet~1 rom Idaho is certified as a has to come from so far away. ,v Louis- The world's best water; no eral \.: tor once told us, "You've got good' Heilwa r). The silica in a liter of Trinity •}.;:"».• ' Cf:'«:,, want to know what's in it.· nful of unprocessed oats.' I'll_ Fiji '*... $1.19 0Q'lparable to a spoonful of M- Not so bad; but you better believe you are paying Land O Sky drinking water ••• 1/2 $0 ',j t transpacific shipping fees. are square so that they can fitthem ~ L- littleA like drinking out of the bath t Gke a rutabaga and has dosage L-The bottles more economically the long haul fiom the Ion jug. Don't expect to see Gwynet ~ on age and fertility status. 1ogether tor . down Madison with this in hand. e than most bottled water, l.woufd, Fifi Islands, 1500 mile~Jrom ~.in~?r~;t,po~1¾'lent. ticin. . ,,, " coked-ouhroommate for a''st.immei:. She M- Flat. Sterile. Slick. Why did I just W- I had a From the North Fork watershed off th WOU[Qke:ep meU(? un.itlf~m ~pd' E¾11,,~IIJlfmy icecre£tp, was,;c Parkway- fine mountain water, but c "'>and ffuitjuice.J;plsseifir her&ifwat~Jiwhen;,she n't looking so that I wouldn'thate her being tor obnox untold additives pollute the taste. Ir rly ... more than water; ious. She couldn't tell the difference-. goers on North and South Carolina lents. you II e to work 7 span- gallon jugs, water I wouldn't drink uni r colo.r~coordinated @ ;. :::;t;;; ·~~/'1: i).Jllt:~::: . ealth breakthroughs the Poland, Spring yarboh{lte home in Asheville. on "L-Kinda lemony. N. W-A true testament to the new found eking is bad for your Jes are good tor you, then W- Who drinks this of selling municipal water. Comes fr '· M- Those little bubbles severely affected by drought that As OU. K, but this is not essential bonated water? urged not to bathe. with too many unpro- Perrier "1/2 $0.99 Laure .. $0.89 el. Matt Casuccio, M- Fizzier, softer than,t91an9 Springs' sharp, carbonat- W- This tastes like floral Clorox. after ,1oommate, · tum. His side of the room is ed attack. · ' "' ed liver. puts co 1 dead hookers W- I've only witnessed this beverage in the context of M- Tasty, but what is that taste? Fro ~m~ky _ starting to sm~ll d. be all the those who wish to be fabulously wealthy or gramorous. 0 ~qnshme, under his bed: Mountains of Tennessee. Might be L- The French have given us lmpressionism,'~The mty for drinking. # ~ but not of Lost Children", and cheap good wine. They can keep L- Kinda mossy. Boasts a nine-step pu ·011twoces~i'>r ature'~ce Water $0.79 their flerrier. and a gold seal from the National Spring · r_"" ""' £\~ L- Comparable in t. 8)Jdprice to Milwaukee's Best Association. Traces of alcoholic flower tin Jee, but doesn' 'drunk as fast . ~ "and "pasteurized" are the most Appolinarus ..... $1.79 you drink M-Even friendfier micro bubbles. Great sound going Mist ·•• $0.34 scriptions on a water label, would Clear into the glass, My choice for the sparkting stuff. unmentionable. Just as the name is two it? I don't drink pasteurized milk, so I wouldn't choose M- Clearly w-SLightly butt.ery in taste, I could picture myself drink concepts, this water is a concept, a this water with an expiration date. mutually exclusive the third hour of a vodka binge. W- I think I'd rather be dehydrated. ing this in theme, that disappears without an attribute appearing L- When feel the I bubbly in my mouth, my tasfebuds from its mist. (no stars) $1.29 get excited, but then there js no taste, so I drink more. L- Comes in sweet with a clear finish. I don't know Nursery Fluoridated Drinking Water and l'm not.golng This is Germ~ table water,'-and evenJhe bubbles are. where in Charlotte they got this water. All the water I've M- I gave up fluoride many years ago, efficient. •· seen there is filled with goose shit and dead mammals. to start now for the sake of this a · W- Not much to it. I am tempted to cross-reference intent on giv· · Hgrino ·•· $2.19 won't. dren? clear mist and early morning smog, but I · did at that guy say to the other guy? Look at S,- If kid soft Diamond Springs .. 1/2 $0.59 ackaging, but It puts me in the mind of an W- This water is dead, much like the Everglades, which an with a penis so large that it could never .be this spring. ·it'' once surrounded rect. f the mouth like real water, but mid-way M- Approaches .. se llttlebubble~ ~ren't as qapP,y or ap ;!ively as, dis through the swallow becomes a pretender, perhaps - thef other brands. Forthose that want the ~ its elemental qualities by ·ozonation," etc. mantled from lvre of sparkling water without getting tt;ieir ttacked by those darpned bubbles. ,,, L- Void of life, unimaginative bottle. . , . :-..::.,it Deer Park ... 1/2 $0.98 o flat, even with thebubbles L- is This the stuff over-priveledged college freshman ~· ,.;.;rmrunning to . ; cases and unload from Ford Expulsions when bring in =- l'."%1,Jb9ughtthW:\vas going to,be agood one,,and it was, they arrive at school. Belter than Bard water, but the until the antis1J,tic aftertaste. Just keep dilnk?ng It so name Deer Park suggests ... Salmonella City. E coli is wet stuff y rifierience the creep of Clorox down your !ar- Estacion. W- I believe my great grandfather spent his final days lfe ttle, a sexy cylinder. >'\¥~ !>"'f*si--~ · · W- This. tastes like a secure retirement plan a1 a rest at a rest home called Deer Park. cares what this water tastes like, the bottle home with a view. M-Sometimes no noticeable quality is better than a W- Who taste affronting the mouth. I've bought it at •c• stores, makes for a great dildo! ave you? Aquafina ••112 $1.09 W- is yourIf this brand of choice, then you've truly been . aura Lynn ***1/2 $0.79 " . of ,7astes like Deer Park. For you folks that don't get had. Though innocuous in taste, this is the Wal-Mart · illb much, Laura Lynn is the lngle's supermarket waters. the after taste of, my apple cob- ~ompetitive price brand. The label is more exciting M- Orally cushioned by March 28, 2002 video game review MV'. Le"' "Pity the Fool" By Patrick Rodgers Soul Reaver Didn't Make IF I WERE A MORE RESPONSIBLE music critic, I would have picked up the Jay-Z/ R-Kelly "Best of Both Worlds" that has blown up this week, but as I was walking down the aisle I saw Mr. Len's "Pity the Fool" sitting on the rack above all the Me a Believer other CD's, the music store equivalent of payola. I thought to myself 'hmmm ... what is this doing here, I grabbed it and ran straight to the counter, sure it's not new, but you can read about Jay-Zand R.Kelly everywhere else. 'Pity the Fool" is Len's first solo album, and can be summed up with three adjectives: unexpected, old school, and under ground. I started listening with high expectations figuring it would be similar to the stuff Len made with Company Flow, by Ethan Hochgesang some of which was arguably the pinnacle of gritty underground composed of complex beat structures with fluid delirious lyrics. That's where unexpected comes in. The first track "This Morning," featuring the Juggaknots, sounds like a lost B-side from "Funcrusher," but the rest of the album does not follow suit. It's SOUL REAVER2 IS ACTUALLY thethird game in the sounds range from early series, which makes the plot, that is confusing Organized Konfusion to grind enough to begin with, even more so. For example, core. I was sort of disappointed, the character is an undead vampire/demon that but then came to the realization was struck with the soul reaver, which was created that Co-Flow is not Mr. Len, and by the vampires to protect the pillars, and the soul Mr. Len is not Co-Flow, so it's not reaver bonded with Azreal, your character, to cre really fair to try and judge him by ate a sort of vampire/demon messiah. There is the standard set by the group. something in the game to take care of the fact With this new enlightened per that it is confusing, however. What they did is spective I proceeded to listen to allow you to go back and read the text of all the the album another six or seven maJor conversations in the game. Like a kung-fu times. Every time I listen to it I like it more and more. A fourth adjective jumps into the mix: unique. The album, which at first seemed garbled, just required a closer listen. The first three tracks are solid beats, nothing too complex, but with solid vocal contributions by the Juggaknots, Mass Influence, and Jean Grae, who appears four times on the album and is really the foundation of its excellence. Her rhyi:nes are tight and deliv ered in a cold deadpan that makes them ridiculously hard. movie, the voices are well done despite the fact She's straight up angry as hell that they don't quite correspond with the mouths. about a lot of things. The two This is the case in most games because of transla highlights are a track featuring tions. The best feature of the voices is the narra her and The Brewin called "Love tor's voice over. The layout of the controls of the Venom,' where she belts out an out of tune, yet heart felt chorus of "Pack up your shit,/ Love don't live here anymore, and 8 game is the usual removed third person that proceeds to insult someone who I'm glad that I am not, over the top of a wicked distorted guitar." The other track is a 7 occurs in all action game. such as Resident Evil and a half minute first person narrative titled "Taco Day,' where she tells the story of the most popular girl in school getting and Devil May Cry, which I reviewed last time. molested by the principal and her family, getting torn up by paranoia, then going crazy shaving her head and mowing down I played the first game and liked it a lot, a bunch of kids. "Pulled up in the school parking lot/ just me, destiny, and a shotgun/ went to the cafeteria , perfect tim so I decided to check out the sequel. I was pretty ing/ an assembly in appreciation of creative writing .. .". The track is the artistic equivalent of "Bully' or "Happiness." disappointed. Don't get me wrong, it's still a good Evocative with shock value and blunt graphic content, this is not necessarily revolutionary for his work, but a definite game, but they didn't expand it enough. The con trend in art. If this is the case, then why not in hip hop? trols are the same. as are the limited attacks. Besides Jean Grae there are some excellent tracks by Q-Unique of the Arsonists, Steady-Roe, and Mr. Live, whose track They did add the ability to charge the soul reaver 'What the Fuck,' takes an interesting look at the only word valuable enough to be known as the "F" word, and it's many with elements, but all that did was allow you to meanings like aloha or ooos. All of the tracks live up to the subtitle: "Experiments in therapy oehind the mask of music solves puules. The dark overtone of the game is while handing out dummysmacks." continued within the puzzles, such as corpses that All in all I wish I had instated some sort of rating system because I'm at a loss for words. The album is amazing at its high need a heart and chalices filled with blood. The points and mediocre at it's low points. Sometimes the production is flat, which is disappointing because that's the part best feature of the game is how you kill people. It Len is responsible for, and occasionally the lyrics are standard at best. What really put me off at first, was the grindcore is different depending on the weapons used, my track "Force Fed" featuring Agents of Man and Amplifire, followed by the Limp Bizkit-esque track "Bring it to Me" featuring favorite is impaling someone on a spear. Also, D-STROY. Not that I have anything against the genre, it was just a little shocking in it's lack of transition from the rest of after you kill someone you can eat their soul, the album into the metal. But regardless, CD technology has given the listener the power to skip tracks with ease, so it's which is how you get life back in the game. OK. Another great feature is that there are two differ I don't know what to say. If you're intrigued and open to a nebulous auditory adventure, definitely go out and give the ent worlds, the physical and the spirit world. If you album a listen, you WC?n'tbe disappointed. But if you are picky about not liking things most of the time, maybe leave thts die in the physical world you are sent into the spiri one be. tual world, where you have to replenish you life in order to be able to go back into the physical world. In the physical world you fight physical opponents as well as being able to manipulate physical objects, whereas in the spirit world sometimes things are changed and you are able to travel through grated doors. Some of the graphics in the game are impressive but they don't use any FMVs \full motion video), just the DVD graphics but because of this there are no in game load times, which is really nice. All in all there wasn't too much of an improvement over the first game so I'm going to have to give it a two out of five . .. March ~8, 2002 Karate: Cancel/Singby danny gibson HERE WE HAVE WHAT I consider to be another life-affirming achieve ment from a little band called Karate. They are, I have recently decid ed, my absolute favorite band that there is. This decision surprises even me, because I most ordinarily appreciate music/things with a · healthy dose of irony or post-somethingness. But Karate's music is the opposite of the kind of art I am capable of creating, and perhaps that is why it is so captivating to me. It is reserved, mature, spatial and, above all, absolutely sincere. The band has recently released an EP titled, Cancel/Sing, containing the two title songs, which are about eleven and fifteen minutes, respectively. With these longer songs has come the opportunity to build different textures, and styles, creating music that truly develops over the course of time. Karate have the rare talent to incorporate into their music genuine dynamics, not just the superloud/supersoft contrast that many bands rely on to create mood. The songs travel from feedback-driven trance-rock all the way to a sort of minimalist jazz, and everywhere in between, all the while remaining absolutely gorgeous. Gavin McCarthy is an astonishing drummer who, together with the precise bass work of Jeff Goddard, lays an ideal, deli cately sparse foundation for guitarist/singer Geoff Farina to riff and murmur. The most striking aspect of the group's sound is the tone of Farina's voice, which is very articulate and swelling, with an understat ed, strong sense of melody. I am obviously totally in love with this guy's voice, yes. Hearing Farina sing is the most accurate representation of my emotions I have ever come across in any form of art. If you come across this disc, please find a quiet corner and some decent head phones and listen to both songs all the way through. Cancel/Sing is a listen that, if you are willing to devote yourself to it, will reward you in CRAZY, SEXY, COOL ... ways few other experiences can. NONE OF THE ABOVE? 'created after much deliberation, by Elizabeth Daley ... take this survey • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •••••••••• 1) Your favorite movie is ... 8) You often find yourself a) Well, I like so many ... 5) When Rosie O' Donnell came out a) Talking you ... b) The Island of Dr. Moroe b) Contemplating 9 the verdict c) NC-17 a) Used it to fill the awkward silences in c) Fantasizing conversations d) Anylhing Disney d) Planning b) You wondered where she came out of. .. was she an agoraphobic like you? 2) Your Mother always told you ... c) You said, 'that's great, when can I hit 9) If you could have one wish it would that shit?" or ... "Great! Now I'll never hit be ... that shit" a) "You have too many friends, you social butterfly.• d) You thought: God loves everybody, a) That people would laugh at your next even you Rosie! joke inOA a1E4 aM a6a1100Jo 1no 1a8 h) 'Umm ... stop talking to the drywall." s,o AiiS0V'J b) That people would never laugh at you (a1a4 c) "Please, honey. Barbie's shouldn't be 11nsu,a1po"El µasu!) ·l::l3>fv'V'J3V'JOH·m:13N having orgies, and you shouldn't play 6) You think that Clearly Canadian is ... c) That everyone would be as open to Barbie's with your friends parents.• threesomes as you are ···11aM... 8 PUE 6u141j0 IJ0S JE410IU! AIIE6J1,US! V :s d) 'Oh honey, you are so cute with your a) I actually don't think about it. .. sorry d) That you could get that internship puE v suos1ad 1aaw AlqEqo1d ll!M noA a1a41 little stuffed animal tea parties" asnEoaq am xas moA d1a4 AIIEaJ p1noM >illS b) Some new slang expression that you 6u1u10[)1U!411,U0P I 46no41 ·11j0 1uap,saJd have not yet picked up on ApEaJtE1,uaJE noA l! >illS U!O[p1no4s 10) You are, above all ... noA aqAEV'J ·AuE 1a6 AIIEaJ1,uop noA asnEoaq 3) Today you laughed the hardest at. .. c) Pseudonym of Canadian romance nov S! 4onw OS 8Z!SEIUEj noA U0SEaJa41 sdE4 elist -Jad 'i!EM 1nq···s1axoq 10 S8!1UEdxa1Et JEaM a) A fun person noA adOLl t s,:J AIISOW106 noA JI ·1n1s')10 a) A fart joke d) A special method of home birthing spe S,::) AIISOV'J cific to Canada b) An RPG lover 1no O3x3s b) That thing that the guy from 'Lord of the Rings" said to Gandolf when ... c) A good lover ·puapJ AW 'd1a4 1a8 ·Ep1az 6U!AEtdaJE noA ua4M pEat Atuo noA puE M0II0J 1,uop noA c) A sexual fart joke 7) When others talk about you to those d) A good friend ·rn41,au arn noA ·s1a"up aJE a1a41 puE s1a6 who don't know you, they often refer to -uassEd aJE a1a41 'aJ!I 01 pE0J a41 uo ·uoods d) A clearly clever play on words you as ... Jn0A 4l!M tEaJa0 JnOA6UJX!W 'IE41 6)1!1aU0tE 6u1rns noA aas 01 pEs a1doad sa)1EWI! 1ns BONUS QUESTION ·)1001AEW noA PLI!WLIMO moA LI! 'AIIEaJ6u141 a) You know (then they just say your pEq E IOU S! w--arn tEUJ8jUIf..Ja" E a"E4 n0A 4) You want to be ... name with more emphasis) 11) The website you most often visit is S,8 AIISOV'J AZVl::18 b) That kid who always stares at his/her a) Famous for something ... anylhing hands for hours a) www.hotornot.com ·6u141awos Jo SJEads A8Ul!J8 1xau a41 aq 'SJE88 8JE::) U!O['Al!JE40 E 1.JElS ·poo6 JO b) A ventriloquist, definitely c) You know ... s/he is kinda crazy/horny b) Your own live journal sa0J0J J0J Al!JEJndodmoA asn 'asEatd ·1a1JE .., bastard asE40 a1doad IE41 ,1000,sn0WEJU! a41 aJE n0A t:r' c) A bad babysitter (got my boyfriend/girl c) Nambla.org ·Ja411auAJ8)1!1 arn 'puapJ AW 'noA puE 'daap " )1001e1doad awos friend in the shower, makin' six bucks an d) S/he's so sweet! So quaint! I hate arn a1doad awos 'daap ~ 'noA M0U)i hour) him/her! d) Oh either google.com or "M0U)i 01 4onw 1,US!a1a411nq a. askjeeves.com Jo noA aq 01 s1uEM auof..Ja"3 ·a)1E.J1sow O d) Working a job that would leave time for a41 41!MAOqJJJ!6 a41 aJE noA 'Pi!40 AaUOH a s,v AJISOV'J the family ~ 7008 ~ C, ,; March 28, 2002 Farmworker Rights I acking in New York State Agricultural labor laws neea reform by !Emma Kreyche I rest, and no required disability insurance. ties in the fields. At this pace, the right treat their workers with respect and digni · Child labor restrictions are more relaxed to collective bargaining-perhaps the most ty. However, this fact does not rectify the than in any other productive sector, and crucial legal right for the empowerment of lack of legal protection for farmworkers due to the transient nature of farm work, farmworkers-seems a long way off. This against those who would take advantage Many of us may be under the many children of farmworkers never com struggle is made only more difficult by the impression that legal discrimination and of their economic, social, and legal vulner plete high school. Agricultural work is the fact that the majority of these workers are institutionalized racism were done away abilities. What then, should our role as second most dangerous occupation in the with as a result of the civil rights struggle immigrants-a great number of which are students be in seeking to change these country, next to mining. of the 1960s. Not so. Federal labor conditions Yet, in NY, state occupa laws developed in the 1930s, when the of severe tional health and safety inequality, farmworker pool consisted primarily of laws do not generally Agricultural workers in NY as it exists African-Americans and some poor whites, cover farm work sites and were designed with the specific exclusion under the there are no requirements of farmworkers. What this mean't was Jaw? for dealing with exposure have no right to overtime pay, Although that workers in the agricultural sector to extreme heat. some of us were not guaranteed the right to unionize, Furthermore, safety train as is the case for all workers in business may not ing is not required-except no right to a day of rest, and no and industry, or the right to the same min have too with pesticides, for which imum wage. This marginal legal status much faith the exposure to workers is remains basically the same today. in repre not even monitored. Even Although the farmworker movement led required disability insurance. sentative though many farmworkers my Cesar Chavez succeed in changing democracy, in the state must rely on the fact many of California's state laws dealing their employers for housing, health code undocumented and/or do not speak remains that there are a few changes in with agricultural workers, over the last inspections are only conducted at camps English. If you are undocument.ed and NY state law that could make a huge dif seven decades there has been no federal with five or more workers and, even so, without any right to organize, then to ask ference for the farmworkers here who put legislation which has significantly effected violations without fines are a common for a raise-or even just better housing or food on our tables. Fortunately, there is the classification of farmworkers as sec- occurrence. a day off-is to risk not only being fired, a student group at Bard that can help you ond-class workers. Although farmworkers and their but also deported. Although deportations figure out how to get effectively involved in Because of the lack of federal advocates have been struggling to are not common (perhaps because many the struggle for farmworker rights in New legislation in place. the responsibility for improve their labor protections under NY farmers are dependent upon an illegal York. We are currently gearing up for an developing agricultural labor laws takes state law, the process has been a slow immigrant work force) the threat is a very place at the state level. In New York artistically-oriented day of Youth Action in real one for those who Albany on May 1, which carries the theme State (as is general ly true throughout might consider speaking "Farmworker Exclusion Needs a Solution" and a march the following day in New the U.S., with the Only within the last five out against the injustice exception of they suffer. Even among Paltz designed to pressure the Labor those English-speaking, Committee of the State Senate to move a Cal!fornfa) farm legal workers, many are not proposed "No-Exclusions" bill. You can workers are denied years did farmworkers win aware of the rights that email the Bard Migrant Labor Project at the right to collec they do have. [email protected] or just drop by one of our tive bargaining. Farmworkers are all meetings, which are held weekly at 3:15 This means that if the right to have drinking around us in the Hudson PM on Friday afternoons in the Student five workers get Valley, which, as you may or Action Center in the basement of the Old together, go to their may not have noticed, pro Gym. To subscribe to our list serve, send boss and ask for water, a bathroom, and sani duces everything from an email to $.25 raise, they can 70 onions, apples, and corn, [email protected]. be both denied the to foie gras. There are in For a list of upcoming events and more raise and fired on fact labor camps as close information, visit out website at the spot, no ques- tation facilities in the fields. as Germantown, where http:j /www.bard.edu/h rp/ projects.migran tions asked. one. Only within the last five years did many Bard students live. It is certainly tlabor.htm. Agricultural workers in NY also have no farmworkers win the right to have drinking true that many farmers, especially right to overtime pay, no right to a day of water, and bathroom and sanitation facili- involved in small, family-run operations, Affecting the Extracurricular Public Schoolsto initiate drug testing by IPatrick Rogers I drugs if they are committed to after-school people who coach, supervise, or instruct ity, it will only make the difficult decisions activities, which will be more important for the youth of America? If a student is of adolescence more difficult. Some kids things like college applications, and that wasted during a school function, he or will side with the rebellious, cigarette The New York Times and every the change is constitutional based on the · she should have to face punishment. But smoking, recreational drug- using kids other major media outlet reported this fact that the students are not forced to if some Jimmy or Susie smoked pot one whether it means the right to participate week on the Supreme Court's upcoming participate in extracurricular after school weekend, should they get kicked out of in clubs or not. So what if they want to decision about the expansion of public activities. the band or the chess club or, God forbid, do both? If the people of America really school drug testing. Apparently, the Elvis I am by no means advocating the Future Homemakers of America? This wanted to crack down, it would really only of the judicial system is on the verge of drug usage among middle or high school would threaten their ability to get into a take the effort of teachers, coaches, and amending the fully constitutional random students, but kids are becoming exposed good college, which is unconstitutional by especially parents to pay more than drug testing of high school athletes, to be to drugs at a younger age than in past good old Amendment 5. What will they superficial attention to the young people expanded to all types of extracurricular generations. ------they are supposed to be activities that involve competition helping and teaching between schools including chorus, band, If the people of America really through the most impor chess club, and the Future Homemakers ~~t ~~=~ that they tant time in the develop of America (which is known for its ment of an individual, unmatched splendor and rivalry). ~;~;:,king wanted to crack down, it would someone who is increas Frankly, this action is absolutely ridicu though ingly forgotten in the ever lous. If the highest of high courts says some may expanding databases of high schoolers can't participate in after choose to only take the effort of teachers, our ultramodern informa school activities, what will they do? accept. But tion-age. This is some They'll be forced to wander the streets if they do, thing that requires spe doing drugs in silly hiding places because what choice cial attention, not some they have nothing better to do with their coaches, and especially parents will they general ruling allowing lime. Getting kids out of activities is the have but to random or mandatory last thing the country should be doing. continue drug testing affecting the Young adolescents and teenagers need to to pay more than superficial using drugs lives and futures of young do more things, because if they start after they people. The government doing something they enjoy, chances are have no should not decide the they will continue doing it, thereby giving attention to the students. activities to fates of children, espe kids hobbies which will make them happi turn to? If cially not with a lottery er and more productive. drug problems are noticed within schools, have to do as a means of bribing kids to system that will only push kids away from The Bush administration and then steps should be taken by the individ stay off drugs so that they can be well creative or competitive ways to spend several Justices argue that kids will not do ual institution. Do we have no faith in the educated, responsible citizens? In actual- their time and energy. March 28, 2002 If You Don't Like America, Ihen Get the Fuck Out Responseto "America'sNew War" by IZues human." don't you think, Rok? Who's encouraging Americans to aka: James Banner be afraid? The government is warning us You know what? Kiss my ass "Taliban ...put in power by the U.S. agen- and making us more cautious of the reali and go to Oprah with that crap. It's cies ...now ... The U.S. is launching a full ty we face. Rak wants you (the reader) to I am writing this in response to called revenge, and I guess I can assume blown military assault on all states." act as if danger does not exist. He wants the article insanely written by Mr. that you are not a New Yorker or or that you to believe that this is Disney World Kiernan Rok ("Americas New Well, Sherlock, I guess so if the and everything is okay. Well, NEWS War,' Observer, March 15, Taliban were the ones who assault FLASH: I 'd rather know the truth than live 2002). You have some nerve The U.S. made the ed us first, and more than once! in denial. But of course Mr. Rok does writing that piece of crap, and Like they say, "I brought you into the not know this, for he probably grew up in now that you have, I shall world and I can take you out." And a wealthy suburb that protected him from unleash my entire wrath and awful mistake of not that is exactly what they are doing. outside reality and was told that money fury upon the Observer. God, the U.S. military is a bunch of can solve anything. Of course they Rok, you pissed off the bad asses. should encourage us to buy. The econo wrong American. I am a New attacking the Taliban my is down and too many people have lost Yorker who is horny as hell and "Western powers have never had a their jobs. If your parents lost their jobs, who is still a virgin, so you are good record in the Middle East." then you would finally realize that the damned sure I have some ten when the embassies economy can only be saved by con sion to release. Your whole I guess it is because the geeks sumers. article was a waste of time and and freaks will always be jealous of paper. were first murdered. those more popular and wealthier. "Stop training terrorists. We trained bin I loved when you start- You figure that one out, genius. Laden, and those like him." ed off your article by saying" ... Afghans seek shelter from American bombs falling you knew someone who died in the World "The world has ignored the situation in The U.S. traine·d them for a Trade Centers because if you were, you overhead." Well what the fuck are they Afghanistan for decades." good cause. How were we to predict that just standing about for when they know would be looking for blood to bathe in. power and greed will overcome the free there is a war going on? Then you go on Look, we're not talking about death row; Well, hell yeah! I am glad that dom fighters? Who do you think we are, about the U.S. • ...deploying the world's it's rightful justice. You cannot go to a we have. Every time the U.S. helps out Miss Cleo? It's not our fault that third mightiest military machine to terrorize the meeting with a pen while the other guy some Third World country (economically or world countries cannot handle power. world's poorest and oppressed popula comes with a pistol. Basically, you can militarily), wait a couple of years or so and I hate when uneducated, spoiled tions." Boo-hoo, do you need a Kleenex? not have peace talks with those who want those bastards are burning my flag. They individuals think they have all the answers Don't try to turn this into a ''feel-bad-for to kill. "An eye for an eye. A tooth for a are self-<:entered pricks that don't deserve of the world, but the truth of the matter is tooth." the-<:ountrysituation. Where the hell any help from anyone. Let them help that they don't know how·to wipe their were the "poorest and the most themselves. Shit, I am tired of you hyp own buttocks after taking a dump. When "The number of innocent civilians who oppressed populations" when Osama ocrites asking why the U.S. did not get Bard students say "America is wrong," "the have been killed ...far exceeds the death bombed the USS Cole, when the two US involved in a situation, but when we are military are dictators," "the military are ter toll of the World Trade Towers." embassies in South Africa were destroyed, involved you criticize our involvement. rorist," etc. why don't you guys get the or when the World Trade Centers were Make up your goddamn mind. hell out of this country? And those of you raped? Where the hell were they? I'll tell Americans who Who's keep you exactly where they were. They were are anti-war and ing count? the ones cheering, chanting, and parading We're not talking about death row; anti-military, I through the streets. It seemed that those The aim is would like to so-called ·poor and oppressed" popula not to keep see what you the death tions had mighty good fun and enjoyment would do when rate bal a country comes on the eleventh of September. The U.S it's rightful justice. You cannot go anced out and invades the made the awful mistake of not attacking between the U.S. Who will the Taliban when the embassies were first two coun protect you murdered. into a meeting with a pen while tries. This then? Or better is war; it yet, who's pro "... members of the Bush Administration sees no tecting you are in bed with ...corporate executives the other guy comes with a pistol. equality or now? I know it's who control American media ...The peace. But not your Americans public is ...being deprived of it does recognize right and wrong and the mommy and daddy. People tend to forget facts ..." Taliban is the evil. I definitely know now "Dropping bombs does not make the that this country was formed, divided, and that you are not from New York, for no one world safe from terrorists." developed by European imperialist forces. How do you know this? Have you from the city calls them the World Trade This country literally started from scratch been fucking one of them? I would like Towers; it is either Twin Towers or the No shit! That is why there are and worked its way up to become the best you to name a country that doesn't do the World Trade Centers! ground troops to send those bastards on nation ever, so deal with it. This is the same thing. Try to find a government a one-way trip to Hell. Burn, baby, burn. world of reality and the premise of the that doesn't conceal information from the "Many of the refugees, starving and home game is survival of the fittest. And if this public. Try to name a nation that doesn't less will not survive the winter." " Alternate voices (voices for peace) have country was able to develop without ter lie to its citizens to please them. Don't been largely repressed by the media." rorist and bombing other countries in a hurt yourself in trying to find one because And you think the situation they sign of retaliation, then so can other weak · you know there is no such thing. Those were in before was grand? They were You people say the same thing and pathetic countries. But they don't are the facts. And by the way, if the over and over because they are lazy, and want to be media is so cor again. You spoon-fed their wealth and success. So rupt, where do sound like a those who criticize America, a country I you get your infor Everytime the U.S. helps out broken record. love and respect, can all burn in Hell. mation from? You guys never Newspapers? amount to any Zeus has spoken. Who's to say that some Third World country, wait thing except a journalists are not police record. corrupt? From for Face it, peace eign media? Their a couple years and those bastards no longer government is as exists ( i.e., corrupt as this The opinions and ideas expressed in Israel and one. Deal with it; the Observe_rq;f'fiofli~~g§.sarily reflect Palestine/ there will never be are burning my flag. They are the views,dfJffie Observttstaff. Each India and an honest country Pakistan). or media no mat How many ter where you go. self-centered pricks that don't times do we Look, I am a have peace democrat who ·=2:f€f talks with observJfjp_ard.edu,iE!~I~;~~" by c~fupus mail hates Bush, but I deserve any help from anyone. these countries to Observ~il;'or drop it qf{'i!t the office am also an and nothing in the bas"i?-rtienf<:iffewksbury. American who felt robbed and threatened. being murdered, oppressed, beaten, and develops? I say war is the best way to So now those who want to brag about stripped of their freedom, etc. If I had handle conflicts. It will prove who is bet .., their involvement in the tragedy shall die. IJ"' the choice of living in a shelter only for a ter than the other. ('D couple of months because the good guys o:1 • ...being the victim is not license to inflict l>I are destroying my pain, or to continue liv "U.S. citizens are being encouraged to 'be ... more pain ...The very notion that any of us p... ing in such torturous conditions, what afraid, shut up, and buy."' have the right to take another life is sub- would I pick? Hmmm! That is a hard one, 0 O' Ill ...('D < ...('D March 28, 2002 many critics claim that the Dear lndie, Jill.JooCID~TI'Il~CCTI'UlT~lOO film did not deserve the by Michael "India" Marfin,Jr My friends call me a bitch award. Persooally, I didn't because I am mean to them a lot. see it. But have you ever The Bard Observer But I like them and all. I just get a seen the movie "Good kick out of being cruel. Does that Burger?" Now that's one Staff really make me a bitch? crazy film. And I'm not just Sincerely, saying that to be weird or -Spring 2002 Bitch funny or anything, because clearly I'm not succeeding Dear Bitch, even if that were the case. Yes, you are a bitch. I have I Editor-in-Chief: "Good Burger" is a hilarious no doubt that you have some kind I• movie about these yummy qualities in your personality, but that Jacob Cottingham burgers whose ingredients doesn't justify your cruel qualities. I were stolen from other mean, sure ... We all enjoy watching a yummy burgers. George friend fall flat on his face from drunk News Editor: Clinton makes a random enness now and then. And we all cameo too, but even without laugh at that until our stomachs feel M. Zubair Hossain him "Good Burger" is a wild like they're gonna rip open from the burger movie that will make laughter. But helping the person you want to slaughter your stand up and wipe his bloody nose is I'. A&E Editor: own cows. Now that's film. what makes the true difference. If Mike Morini -A Toast to Drunkness! you just continue laughing at him, or Little do you realize that you (Again) A Harvard survey, recently start kicking him to watch him con have only 2 more opportunities to conducted among 119 U.S. colleges, vulse, then you are a bitch. I hope Opinions Editor: submit your random questions to the concluded that undergraduate binge that answers your question. Thanks only person on this campus who is drinking is still as frequent as it was for writing! Michael Marlin, Jr. capable of giving honest, elitist a decade ago. 44 percent of the stu -lndie answers that will make your life bet dents surveyed admitted to binge Dear lndie, ter in every way possible. That per previous two weeks drinking in the '' I never understand your Sports Editor: son is of course I, lndie, your quasi don't know wha5gt alone! Frankly, I · article, and frankly,it can ~ quite intellectual confidant and master of A cuple Dave Tramonte theire so woooori_ed about. offensive and disgustingat times. lofty logic and reasoning. Hello, and shotsss of Jank Damials and Sincerely, welcome back to "Al.' The news, Absoloot Csitron evrury nite never AnonymousF aculjy please. hurt any7on3e!. sooo what if we Photo Editor: -One Less Fart. Scientists gyet a littl tipsee hear and their. I Dear Faculty, Paolo Vidafi in London have recently developed a say: poor me another Mr. Baretender I completely agree. If I method that could dramatically dude! I luw you man! were someone else reading this col reduce unwanted flatulence from :oral Sex in the umn, I would probably hate it and Editor: humans. By placing miniscule Classroom. 5 Texas fourth-graders choose never to read it again. But Copy doses of radiation in certain foods, were placed in "alternative educa unfortunately, I am myself and since Emilie Richardson such as beans, scientists hope to kill tion• last week after being suspend I write the damn thing, I read it over off the gaseous bacteria that causes ed from school for performing fellatio and over again. I have no doubt that the unexpected explosions. After on each other during class. Though •Al" makes me seem like a complete Contributing Writers: hearing this news, Bard students the teacher was unaware that the act and utter fool, but isn't that the beau immediately requested that a nuclear had happened last Fall, authorities ty of it all? Probably not, I suppose. Tamara Plummer, power plant be built directly adjacent are currently assessing the situation But still ... We all live in a material Elizabeth Daley, to Kline. One gaseous individual after one of the children reported the world, and I'm a material girl. had this to say: "Beans Beans, incident a few weeks ago. Well. .. at Thanks for writing! Jacqueline LaDuke, Juan they're good for your heart. Irradiate least it wasn't a priest! HAHAhaha. -India 72 I<@ Martinez, Jacob Grana, my food, and I won't have to ... " The Ahem. I'm sorry. I really am. That's That's it for today, folks. student leaves the last word up to not funny. Ya know ... l try. Now you For Christ's sake, send your damn Sean Sullivan, Farihah you. know why this column is getting questions and comments to Zaman, Louis Munroe, -An Ugly Oscar. • A pulled after this semester. [email protected] or via campus Beautiful Mind," directed by Ron On another note, lets go to mail to Michael "lndie" Marlin, Jr. - Jeff Eastman, Ethan Howard, won Best Picture on the letterbag. before it's too late! Until next time, Sunday at the 74th annual Academy I'm a bastard. Good night. Hochgesang, Caitlin Lord, Awards in Hollywood. However, James Banner, Emma Kreyche, Patrick Rogers, Danny Gibson, Mike • The High-Pitched Bitch Returns• Melanson, Pia Carusone Contributing Praise is always a great thing. I always appreciate comments and support. However, if you support Photographers: me and believe in my words, I ask only one thing. Don't just talk about it,be about nope. it. This is not only a place to think, but you have to do something with your thoughts. Peace, I'm still out. • Tamara Plummer Illustrative Maestro: Braden Lamb Your dad. a Work. ceiling. March 28, 2002 March 28, 2002 lilNi Increased Internet I Isage Ca11sfor I Ipgrade · Download speeds may double in upcoming weeks of the total 4.5 Megabits of bandwidth screenshot of Internet use at Bard. other big files are all simple things we by !Mike Melanson I and faculty, although allotted a greater Complaints continued to roll in and can all do to make the Internet quicker amount of bandwidth, were essentially finally the decision was made to and more available to everyone. years, Bard has Over the past three ~enied access to all file-sharing pro- upgrade Bard's Internet service from All of these are much simpler seen a 500% increase in student grams. · 4.5 Mb to 10 Mb, which is in the and less restrictive than the measures Internet use. Resnet first brought the Over the Fall semester, a process as we speak. other campuses have taken, such as Internet to 130 Bard students in 1998. Now, only three years later, there are 650 students using the Internet on a daily basis from their dorm room. That's 75% of the on-campus student body. This, in conjunction our unending use of programs like Napster, Audiogalaxy, Kazaa, Morpheus and Direct Connect, means just one thing - an Internet connection so slow that you'd rather go back to dialing up with AOL than rely ing on Bard's "high speed" Internet. Bard's network first reached its con stantly drained and overloaded state at some point last year. Students were downloading more than ever, grabbing up every available bit of bandwidth, and Henderson was bombarded with complaints from students and faculty alike. In response, Dave Maswick, group of students brought this issue to This upgrade is due to be denying access altogether to file-shar programs of any sort. Throughout Dimitri Papadimitriou, and the rest of a focal point with the administration, completed in the coming weeks and is ing the "Internet Gods" at Bard decided reaching two conclusions. First, this hoped to pacify the situation for at least this process, Dave Maswick has been "keep the peace across various something needed to be done. "modem Bard student" needs to lessen the next year. However, "it is likely," trying to and avoid the across Just 18 months prior, the bandwidth had some of their MP3, movie and whatev Maswick pointed out, "that we will constituencies," board ban of MP3's and file-sharing. been effectively tripled from 1.5 Mbs to er-else-they-can-get-their-hands-on increase again in the next year." He the that he feels 4.o Mbs, so the administration did what downloading to make way for neces hopes that, after installing and testing This is an issue, however, "band Bard community needs to address. was necessary. Last semester a sary academic use. Second, the the new line, speeds will be able to be the needs to be a frank discussion," width shaper• was installed to ensure Internet at Bard needs to be upgraded increased to an ISDN connection level, 'There "of the place of information that each and every student and faculty in order to meet the ever-growing needs more than double what we now have. he notes, in modern student life. member would have reasonable access of the modem Bard student. Nonetheless, Henderson still urges the technology role? How key is it?" At a to the Internet at all times Beforehand, In order to deal with the first community to take certain steps to mini What is its attempting to attract science stu the Resnet was a virtual free-for-all. issue, the students were given 0.5 of mizing Internet traffic. Turning off your school its developing science pro Whoever grabbed the most bandwidth 4.5 Mbs of available bandwidth devoted computer when you're not using it, turn dents for keep in stride with the rest of first kept it until they were done, leaving entirely to file-sharing programs. Even ing off the uploading capability of file gram and the academic community, I strongly the majority of the campus to divide the so, 50% of the total bandwidth is domi sharing programs, and turning to friends in this debate. remains. In order to address this issue, nated by Kazaa use, as shown by the rather than the Internet for music and urge Bard to engage each student was allotted 12K/second Prayer Room Opening Members of the Economics Club at the Eastern Sometimes it seems like Bard is some sort of lndie holy land where all the Economic Association. rules of the real world have been very tastefully inverted. What used to be subculture (That's the Observer's own News Editor, M. Zubair is here almost ridiculously mainstream. What I used to take for granted as basic insti tutions are here tolerated and appreciated, yet secondary concerns. Of all these Hossain, on the far right.) institutions that are so in the minority at Bard that they verge on becoming classified as underground movements, organized religion figures pretty decently on the list. This is why the opening of the Prayer Room on Wednesday, March 13 was a truly unusual event. With the help of leaders from within the Bard community - Imam Salahuddin Muhammad and Rabbi Natan Margalit - members of MSO and JSO dined, sang, and, yes, even danced together in celebration. Students were given an incredible taste of each others' lives (and traditional dishes) in a ceremony that chose to emphasize differences between their religious groups as much as the connections between them. Rarely at Bard have I seen so many students being addressed specifically with regard to their faith at one time. Rarely in the world do we see Muslims dance to the music heralding the presentation of the Torah, or Jews trying to pick up the Arabic lyrics of a Muslim devotional song. Even though the scene I witnessed was atypical of a Wednesday night at Bard, and was perhaps meaningful to only a frac tion of its students, it did represent many of the college's values. One of these is actually the desire to accommodate all kinds of minority groups on this campus. Bard didn't necessarily ship a slice of the 'real world' into its bubble, but ii did something better - somehow making it easier to be both religious and a Bardian. - by Farihah Zaman March 28, 2002 IRUMi Read This Before the Bars Start to Close at 2am ... Really. A CONFf.RENCE ON RELIGION AND 1SSlJES Or SEXUALITY AND GtNDE.R Despite the lack of newspaper articles, the Student Life Committee is actually working very hard. We have laid out primary goals for the semester and we are moving along nicely with each of them. At the beginning of the semester the committee met at Erin Cannan's for a three-hour brainstorming session. We decided to tackle the monstrous "Ho1nosexuality and Religion: questions of: What is student space? How do clubs go about getting these spaces? What can be done to ease the process? After many meet Traditional Views in Islam and Judaism" ings with the administration, some haggling over the use of space, and a "walkabout" with Jim Brudvig, Erin Cannan, Allen Josey, and Fred Barnes, we have begun to settle the issue. The SLC is working towards With Academic pre:-emations by: creating a process by which any club seeking space will appeal to the committee. We will survey what we have and what they need and then Everett K. Rowson try to accommodate the club. If you are a club-head and would like to t,z. a.:?Mson .ie .an Aa11~..~a~t:e ?rofesao:r c,f ru:ab:t.-:: see about getting some space on-campus, please email the committee at ~'tV~'-.i ~t; ~ Cfr:~,.,w::nu,t:; .,.£ hrm.J)·lv,i':Jn.~. fh> h..-i:... the address below. .,:i:::i.t..t~n ~ nw:,.b<::r ;)!° o.rt1.t:l~::, .!....t\<;:1.~.,.r..q •·~;:, H~lt-"411,t'Cti..! ti..t.rt'ilt.iV~~ f.r0ct. ll!4U;),l,1.l>.; Lit.ar•t:."...ril! The Student Government, along with the Dean of Student's &.l.-S.."tt~di' a Ww "-t al-ab.alt:.. and thn-t-aniya.l 's office, has been attempting to combat the drunk driving that takes place Hu~~yyaR1." wh;..~h w~; 1,:-,.~j;~Q;Q 1,.n li,;43('; Mr. ~l!!.C 1• • !cx:.rth y,ear- d.oetor•:!. Pr<>ft!!•.a.o..r ~SO't.o i• A••i1u:.&n.t Prof.e..•cor have hired a lawyer to research the possibility of, by vote of referendum, cond.idttt• cmd -will n. pr41~entiJ:ig c. of l:N.lti-Sthai~ St\ld.i•• Q.Dd P'r9fesJJQr closing the bars at 2am instead of 4am. The SLC is in the stages of work&hop ~.sed on hia du,ae.rt.ation, Al>erth is Aesietant. Pr,ofessar of A.rt "'~I!' .R.e:r:a.Al')Ce.at Innoeent Se:xu&lity."' l:ist.ory at :aia.rd. Colle.g.• .. '%"h.ey will be: planning an event to make the campus aware of the problem and to let pr..s:-.ntin.g ~ di»c'll.~Jlion o.n LAt.i.ll students know what they can do to help. In summary, BE QUIET WHEN A."laerican. c.-.eholi.c homoae•u:.al.i ty. YOU ARE IN THE STREETS AT NIGHT. The people who will try to close the bars early are asleep in the houses on Broadway. Don't piss them The con!erenee will conclude with a screening or the award-winning off. They understand that the vitality of Tivoli relies of Bard, but they documentary •Trambling Bator& O-d• by Sandi Simcha DuBowaki won't tolerate being woken up in the early morning hours much longer. The SLC is working on a few other projects including a health fair in which we would sell over the counter medications at a discounted price in order to alleviate the high demand of health services and EMS BARD COLLEG[. A..l\lNANDALE,ON·HUDSON, NY APRlL 14, 2002 services. We have been tabling about the future administrative plans to change the smoking policy at Bard and we plan on responding further to\ f'or mon: infonnacion ot co regi\rer lowing the forum on April 16, which is dedicated to this issue. g•>tc, llUp://iaside.tx.rd.e March 28, 2002 I IJHoroslcopesJ :, by Madame Babzakovsky-Smith 11 "The second psychic astrologer ever to break the speed of sound" Libra- Your sign 1sthe scales, but this week the balances are tipped. Everything will seem crazy like your left leg is shorter than the right one and all you do is hobble in cir cles. Them's the breaks, the stars aren't always your friend ... Scorpio- This will be a week to be wary of your impracti ~ . . . cal impulses. It will be a vacation where you may find yourself drawn toward experimentation. Look before you leap, otherwise you could find yourself stuck in a hole -I with a twisted ankle, or stuck in a chair with a bad hair- if·~- Sagittarius- There is no prediction for you this week due ___" _._.;..___..;::,.;;...______=.:~._j,,_LL__.....ce:::-:::;..t.~-~::.!_~ to inclimate space weather blocking the lower section of ~ your sign. The magic 8--ball equivalent of 'ask me later.' Capricorn- In the great theater of life, you may feel like a character actor, always getting the same roles even - though you have higher aspirations. Remember, there are no small parts only small actors. Persevere in yoLlr ~ situation and you may find yourself getting bigger roles. • I Sometimes you just have to listen to the director and ~ find a medium between intruction and instinct in order to succeed. Aquarius- Romance, dirty Harlequin novel-making out with Fabio romance. Yeah! Spring time means it time to 1 get some action, but 1fyou keep your eyes open and your mind limber, dirty love, could turn into soemthing spe- 1 cial. If the star beta disco niner moves from quadrant A ~ to quadrant E (the paradoxical fifth quadrant) then you will succeed beyond your wildest dreams at almost any thing this week. However, be wary of the effects the liti- i. - - - gation involving the Andersen Consulting Firm could have on the stock market despite the rise in consumer confidence. :t s Pisces-There's been a severe shortage of moisture in the air leaving you feeling like a fish out of water (and with dry skin), but April showers will replenish the rivers and lakes, as well as bring May flowers (Yeah! Flowers). Beware the new moon, though the stars shine brightest when the moon is dark, the new phase could bring about unforseen changes. These changes are not definitely good or bad, but a word to the wise, be prepared for some thing in the romance department. If you've got a special somebody make them feel special this week ... if your special somebody is not yours, put forth a little more effort and get noticed, it could pay off. e way plus ta Aries-The constant inconsistency of the weather these days is just the tip of a larger iceberg of uncertainty in ther Worldwide your life. As of late, the never ending flux of this world is leaving you feeling a bit rough around the edges. Destinations Cheap! Looking for a little order and normalcy for yourself has been a top priority, and yet every attempt is met with yet Book tickets online: another surprising change. Like the weather, your life has both predictability and an impossible amount of ran www.airtech.com or domness. Instead of constantly trying to prepare for the unknown and resenting the banality of the present, look (212) 219-7000 for surprises within the routine, relish what you can't see coming. A less fixed sense of 'should happen' will open· a whole new world of experience and sensations. Carpe Diem my friend, no matter how your day is going. Taurus- That devil-may-care stance you've been working on may have seemed like a good idea when you started, but as time has gone by it's becoming more and more of a burden. Things you've wanted to accomplish in every part of your life are suffering from your apparent apathy. Try taking life (and yourself) a little more seriously. This is not to say you must suddenly become super-involved type A personality, just go a bit towards the middle. The benefits will far outweigh any drawbacks. Perhaps if you seemed a bit more involved that person you've been eyeing may just eye you back! Gemini- Sheesh! Could you be any more busy? Sometimes it seems like even your dreams are on a schedule. Congrats on all the hard work - the success, the glory, the fame(?) are soon to follow. You're naturally inclined to continue pushing yourself to the next level from academics to love. Sometimes this can be a bit overbearing to your friends and family, but don't back down. Instead remember to include the ones you love in your schedule and thoughts. Solidify your actions with words and your words with actions. This coming month will be both per sonally and professionally, a cosmic explosion of achievement. You're well on your way to that next level, have fun. Cancer-Man oh man, you've been hurtin' lately. As bright as your outlook is, things keep on going wrong. Hope's not doing the trick. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. But it seems as if your tunnel is more like an abyss. The darkness is stifling, no doubt, but don't give up hope - for if you do, it won't ever get better. Take time to relax, read a book for fun, rent a movie, write a letter - keep on trucking, and you'll get to the light. Leo- You of all people know that self-knowledge is a very important part of being a well-rounded person, but you run the risk of relying too heavily on it. You have gone through bouts of doubt and sadness only to regroup 10 times stronger. Though you may grow in strength, your knowledge may not be as reliable as you believe. It's time to re-evaluate what you know about your place in this world. Confidence is only a small step away from arro gance, be careful and tread lightly. You can have a hard time taking responsibility for your state of mind, often using others as scape goats for problems of your own making. This month is the time to look outward in order to better understand your inner self. Virgo-Talk about out of the blue! So often we think only bad things come without warning, this month will prove for you that good trings also can be utterly surprising. The direction of your life has not neccesarily changed in any drastic way but there is a tentative addition. 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