Kale = Kitty Litter Same Thing? I Just Don't Get Kale. in Cheap Diners I

Kale = kitty litter Same thing? I just don’t get kale. In cheap diners I have encountered it as a flat leaf upon which otherwise marginally edible food is served. In this role I find it acceptable, often dark green, sometimes a hint of purple (anthocyanin) pigmentation and often a rugose texture – a functional, indeed a unique, napkin – but it is my understanding that we eat the food on the kale leaf, not the napkin itself. Not only have I encountered individuals who actually eat the kale napkin, but they buy kale and make smoothies – you do not want to share a home or any close contact with these people. Moreover, much to my surprise, some people, likely as self-inflicted punishment for misdeeds, actually eat a thing called the oven baked ‘kale chip’. I saw the kale chip in the store and my immediate reaction was revulsion, followed by confusion as to why green kitty litter was in the vegetable section of the grocery store. Is there anything positive about kale? No, not really, except that as a napkin or as an ornamental it is fairly attractive and grows robustly in almost any garden or climate with no insect pests or diseases. This should be an important culinary clue, that even insects, fungi and bacteria find it inedible. Kale is in the Brassicaceae family and remarkably, is that same genus and species, Brassica oleracea, as at least six other legitimate vegetables including collards, cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage, Brussel sprouts and kohl rabi. You can make fertile crosses among these vegetables and a brave soul in England attempted to make kale edible, or as they hoped “trendy” by crossing kale and Brussel sprouts to produce the “Kalette”. Described as having “tender, veined kale-like leaves that grow on a stalk… with hints of both sweet and nutty”! In fact it is neither! It is simply kale growing from lateral buds on the stem – not much of an improvement. Kale and it’s six actual edible vegetable relatives were domesticated in Europe from leafy annuals that grow on the coasts of England and Portugal. In northern Europe it was domesticated as biennial storage vegetables – cabbage and Brussels sprouts. The thickened cutinized leaves, of cabbage are tightly wrapped around a terminal bud or lateral buds, and this allows cabbage and Brussel sprouts be stored for many months in a cool root cellar. Cabbage leaves are the essential vegetable equivalent to saran wrap. Then, to provide a source of Vitamin C and prevent scurvy in the long dreary northern climates or on lengthy sea voyages, the cabbage is chopped and fermented to allow even longer storage as sour kraut. In contrast, Broccoli and Cauliflower were domesticated in sunny warm Italy, Broccoli as compact flower buds and cauliflower as undifferentiated flower tissue. One interesting thing about kale is that it can be used as an ethnic identifier. Just as sour kraut is associated with German heritage, kale is associated the Portuguese heritage. If you are anywhere in the world and see kale growing, it is very likely that close by there is a Portuguese community, even in Brasil! The national dish of Brasil, is Feijoada, a stew of pork hocks, beans and for flavoring, kale. The kale is used as a condiment, not a vegetable. The flavor is derived, as it is for all members of the Brassicaceae family, from sulfer containing compounds called Glucosinolates which are the plants defense mechanism against herbivory. Glucosinolate substrates are inactive compounds, but when cells are broken or crushed the substrate comes in contact with an enzyme, myosinase, which cleaves off the sugar and produces volatile and pungent compounds called isothiocyanates which repel insects but which, in modest concentrations, can add pungency and flavor to foods. The same compounds that add flavor to broccoli and other cole crops, and pungency to radishes and mustard – all Brassicas. .

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