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THE JEWISH OBSERVER (ISSN) 0021- 6615 is published monthly except July and August by the Agudath Jsrae! of America, 42 Broadway, New York, NY10004. Periodicals postage paid in New York, NY. Subscription $24.00 per year; two years, $44.00; three years, $60.00. Outside of the United States (US funds drawn on a US bank only) $12.00 surcharge per year. Single copy $3.50; foreign $4.50. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: The Jewish Observer, 42 Broadway, NY., NY. 10004. Tel: 212-797-9000, Fax: 646-254-1600.Printed in the U.S.A. CONFRONTING THE DANGERS OF THE INTERNET

RABBI NISSON WOLPIN, EDITOR Dealing With Some Major Moral Hazards in EDITORIAL BOARD RABBI JOSEPH ELIAS Contemporary Society, Rabbi Yaakov Perlow, ,. .. V>7w Chairman 10 Staying Away From The Cybe!"-Slums, Rabbi Leib Kelemen RABBI ABBA BRUDNV JOSEPH FRIEDENSON RABBI YISROEL MEIR KIRZNER 14 A Ubiquitous Challenge, An Insidious Trap, Rabbi Aaron Twerski RABBI NOSSON SCHERMAN PROF. AARON TWERSKI 16 The Dangers of the Computer and the Internet,

DR. ERNST L. BODENHEIMER Z"L a Compendium RABBI MOSHE SHERER Z"l FoundE!rs 21 The Electronic Maakeh, Rabbi Yitzchak Adlerstein

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November 2003 VOLUME XXXVl/NO. 9 he invasive and corrosive effects of the warning them of the irreparable harm that can Internet on Jewish homes and result from allowing their children access to individuals has proven to be a cause of computers and the Internet. deep concern to our community's In addition, the Agudath Israel Conference of Tleadership. This problem was the subject of Synagogue Rabbonim sponsored a meeting this several sessions in last spring's Torah Umesorah past September on the topic of "The National Convention, where hundreds of Torah Enhancement of Kedushas Habayis," specifically as educators and a number of prominent Roshei regards home use of computers and the Internet. Yeshiva gathered to discuss pressing educational More than 60 prominent rabbanim from matters. Since then, Torah Umesorah issued a throughout the New York Metropolitan Area and letter to be sent to all Day School parents beyond were in attendance. This gathering was Recognizing And Dealing With Some Majo1

NEGOTIATING WITH AN ALIEN ture, are we consciously- and uncon­ tained without the use of the com­ ENVIRONMENT sciously - absorbing? Are we careful puter and Internet, that the Internet enough, sensitive enough, to prevent is a basic living aid which saves peo­ hese times of chevlei Moshiach - foreign values from penetrating our ple money, and provides necessary the stonny era prior to the advent Torah lifestyle? information; even divrei Torah. An Tof Moshiach - are fraught with office cannot function without a dangers everyvvhere. But \Ve have cer­ ORTHODOX MODERNITY: computer, and this is the way children tain guidelines taught to us in the ACCOMMODATION OR are being trained to learn, to play, to Torah, which enable us to invoke CAPITULATION? study, to do homework. n1axin1u1n racha111i1n v'chassodiln - Divine mercy and con1passion - in our he defenders and promoters of TRUTH AND CONSEQUENCES lives. "fhe first thing to do is to con1- Orthodox modernity would mit ourselves to live fully Jewish lives, T make it appear that we're suc­ ll this may be true, to one extent uninfected by the virus of alien value cessfully meeting the challenge, at or another. \'\That, however, are systems. Yes, we all adjust to certain least most of the time. But we are not. Athe consequences of this wonder demands of our host society, and \'Ve Modernity, unless constantly rein­ of technology? You may or may not be accomn1odate ourselves to many ele­ forced with strong Torah values, aware of all the gruesome facts that are nients in the prevailing culture. VVe do with n1ussar and yiras Shamayim festering as a result of Internet use, or this technologically, even socially! But and strict behavioral parameters, is a computer with a little gadget called a David HaMelech ren1inds us, he V\'arns 1naking serious inroads in our fam­ modem. Our families, both children and us, "Vayisarvu vngoyiin vayilindu n1a'a­ ilies, in our youth, in many ways that adults, have open access to the worst scihe111- They mixed \Vi th the gentiles we tend to sweep under the carpet, pornography. The finest people, other­ and learned their ways" ( Tehillim 106, pretending not to notice that the yiras wise frun1 and observant, have fallen vic­ 34). If accommodation is necessary in Shamayim is slowly ebbing away. tim to the ugly attraction of gilui arayos order to econon1ically survive, vve Worse yet is that recently, accommo­ (promiscuity). The Internet, with the may feel that we must adjust in certain dation with modern technology has flick of a button, invades a Jewish ele1nents of our lifestyles; we niay not, created a spiritual 1nonster, a ravaging home, a Jewish soul, and makes moral however, allt)\V their spirit or their disease that is destroying the very disaster. And it is happening all the time. norn1s to invade our thinking, and cer­ foundations of our kedusha. I mean One may think that this is an exag­ tainly not our behavior. specifically the computer, and more geration, but the rabbanim who are This, then, is the crucial test of liv­ specifically, the Internet. We all know unfortunately privy to the facts, who ing in our co1nfortable galus. How the rationale that is commonly given must deal with the forbidden relation­ much goyishkeit, how much alien cul- -- that one's business cannot be main- ships that have developed, Rachmana

8 The Jewish Observer, November 2003 addressed by Rabbi Yaakov Perlow ~""""1 (the this field. We are keenly aware of the sensitivity Novominsker Rebbe and Rosh Agudas Yisroel) and of some of these discussions and recognize that Rabbi Yosef Rosenblum ~~. as well as by several people who have succeeded in sheltering their men of vast experience in various professional and lives and environment from destructive business fields, with much hands-on experience in influences may find some of these references computers and the Internet. gratuitous and even distasteful. We publish these In response to the urging of our rabbinical discussions under the guidance of our rabbinical leadership to assume an active role in countering leadership, because of the critical gravity of this affront to Kedushas Yisroel, we present, in these problems, and in the hope that these the pages that follow, observations, insights, and articles may call the readers' attention to these some suggestions from people with expertise in issues and perhaps contribute to their solutions. Moral Hazards In Contemporary Soci

Based on excerpts from an address by the Novominsker Rebbe ~-~, Rabbi Yaakov Perlow, at the recent Lei[ Hisorerus on September 21, '03, the first night of Selichos

litzlan, know the bitter truth, more than and your chil­ most people do. dren? I think that in most cases, DEALING WITH THE THREAT the hon1e can eas- ily survive without the computer-Internet he time has come that the general hookup. And why must children be which the adults place themselves. Some­ public know it too. If there is any exposed to all this, and do their school thing must be done about this. Tone single area that needs tikkun assignn1ents on a con1puter? Why must Permit me to say, in closing, that - control, irnprove1nent, and yes, change they waste many precious hours in the noble intentions are not enough. V\That - in our tzibbur, it is the pervasive dis- batala of playing games? Why not teach is needed in those areas of our lives that ease known as the Internet. If your busi­ them to tl1ink, and write, and gather infor­ need change is resolute action, an ness cannot get along without it, you mation in the way their parents did, and uns,verving determination to be Jews must create the strictest controls around not be subject to sakonas nefashos? who are committed to lead Torah lives yourself and your staff. Create fences, Parents who are not careful about this and conduct ourselves like the Am strictures, around its use. Do not give it destructive instru1nent and allow it to be Kodesh that we are meant to be. Keep the free rein! Re1ne1nber that you are deal­ accessible to children are being oveir'(Lo elohim acheirim (alien influences) out of ing with a force that contains spiritual sa'amod al dan1 rei'echa" every day (trans­ our lives and restore the kedusha v'ta­ and moral poison. gressing the prohibition: "Do not stand hara (sanctity and purity) to the Ask yourself further: must it come into by as the blood of your friend [spills]") ... neshama that yearns to be close to the your home- openly accessible to yourself - not to speak of the sakana (hazard) in Ribbono Shel Olam. II

The Jewish Observer, November 2003 9 Rabbi Leib Kelemen Staying Away from IHf G'(Bfr<-SLVMS

A CONFUSED WORLD lications2 - and these sites are heavily traf­ ficked. In response to academic surveys, ike most public libraries in the 25-50% of men with Internet access admit United States, the Central spending time online viewing explicit L Phoenix Library provides material.3 While most visitors to porno­ adults and children with Internet graphic sites are married college gradu­ access. When Toni Garvey, the chief ates4, a Canadian survey reveals that 44°/o librarian, recently spotted three sep­ of men who visit these sites admit that arate men and a group of giggling they began doing so before age 16.5 A girls viewing pornographic material British survey reported that over half of on the library's terminals, she had no all word searches on the Internet are idea how to respond. She says she aimed at locating pornography. The top feels uncomfortable providing such eight word searches are all pornography material for the public, but so far, fed­ related.6 Although much of the explicit eral courts across the country have material available online is free, through ruled that banning the Internet from fee-per-view services and advertisements public institutions or even filtering its the online pornography industry cur­ contents "offends the guarantee of rently generates about $1 billion annually. 7 free speech" and "restricts First Researchers explain that it is the web's Amendment rights." Garvey com­ THE SEEDIER SIDE OF CYBERSPACE "Triple-A Engine" - access, affordabil­ plains, "For me, this has been one of ity, and anonymity - that drives the the most challenging issues of my ike any metropolis, the Web has online pornography industry:' career. We all want to do the right neighborhoods, some safer and Access. Unlike material sold in x-rated thing, but it's not clear what the right Lsome horrific. Unlike any other stores and through mail-order services, thing is." 1 metropolis, the Web lacks a government, online images are available instantly and Garvey, like most people of con­ laws) or a police force. There are uni­ from the privacy of one's home or office. science in the secular world, is moral­ versally acknowledged economic cyber­ There is no time for mature contem­ ly confounded by the technology that crimes like the intentional spreading of plation to overcome childish impulses - links together nearly half a billion peo­ computer viruses - infectious software "and [the yeitzer] knows that if men would ple in a "Worldwide Web" - a global programs that could impair the expe­ give a moment's thought to their ways, city - allowing instant, anonymous rience of other cyber-tourists. Beyond they would certainly begin to regret their exchange of uncensored text and this, there are no moral guidelines. A actions" (Mesillas Yesharim, ch 2). images. Anyone in this virtual-metrop­ turn down the wrong cyber-street guar­ Affordability: Unprecedented supply olis can put anything online, and antees exposure to information or minimizes prices, and much of the once it is there anyone can access it. images at least as corrosive as anything obscene material is entirely free. Rabbi Kelemen is a rebbe at Neve Yerushalayim available in the streets of New York, Anonymity: Users have the (false) seminary in Yerushalayim, and a prominent Paris, or Tokyo - and often even worse. impression that their web activity is counselor, author and lecturer. His most recent For example, the Web hosts thousands untraceable. The Vilna Gaon writes book is What They Don't Want You to Know About of pornographic sites - offering materi­ that rages when a person feels no Television and Videos (Targum/Feldheim, 2003). taava 9 He is a frequent contributor to The Jewish al that is as explicit and generally more one is watching. The reality is that Observer. violent than what is found in print pub- servers - the companies providing

10 The Jewish Observer, November 2003 Internet connections - possess records online gambling, and researchers say the web, destroyed mutual trust and of every site visited by every user (and upwards of fifteen million people visit ripped the marriage apart. Sadly, our have consistently provided these these sites annually and leave several bil­ community has been touched by this records to investigators tracking down lion dollars of their family's funds plague as well. those who spread viruses). But the feel­ there. 14 In a landmark study, published in ing that "no one knows" corrodes nor­ Anierican Psychologist, researchers from mal inhibitions. A GLIMPSE AT THE DAMAGE: Carnegie Mellon University examined V\lhile 1nen outnumber wo1nen 6: 1 in AN ACADEMIC PERSPECTIVE the amount of time people spent inter­ their online use of explicit material, acting with other family members women slightly outnumber men when cent surveys identify a bur­ before and after installation of a com­ it comes to the "Chat Room" and geoning trend of lnternet-relat­ puter with Internet access. During the "Multi-User Domain" (or MUD). 10 A d divorces. 15 In most of these two-year longitudinal study, family Chat Room is a public or semi-public tragedies, v1s1ts to explicit sites, or interaction declined dramatically, and site dedicated to facilitating social inter­ extramarital relationships forged over the drop was directly proportional to the action among total strangers - the cyberspace equivalent of a singles-bar. Logged-in users introduce themselves and join a live, theme-based group dis­ cussion. MUD sites provide public or It hurts semi-public, interactive gaming and are also engineered to facilitate friendships 10 c II between strangers. Studies reveal that about 90% of Chat and MUD users I form personal relationships; about one­ third of these relationships result in a face-to-face meeting; and about a quar­ ter of these relationships evolve into romantic involve1nents. 11 • A large study of American teens just revealed that close to 60°/o have received an instant message or email from a total stranger, and 63% of those teens who have received such instant messages or It hurts emails say they responded but never told their parents. 12 In the last three years there have been several infamous cases of abduction, rape and murder in which the victim was first approached and lured through a Chat or MUD site, instant messaging, or emails. There are, no doubt, many more cases in which Chat, MUD, instant messaging, or email inter­ It feels better just to talk about it. That's why we're here. Our staff is made up of actions led to spiritually or psychologi­ caring and sensitive individuals. Together, cally destructive relationships. These are we can help you explore your options. We the harsh realities of cyber-streetlife. can refer you to recognized professionals 13 for counseHng, legal advice or help in The Ramban describes how indul­ finding a safe environment. We can also gence in one taava (desire) creates a put you in touch with some very special drive for another, more depraved taava, Rabbis. But in order for us to reach out to you, you must first reach out to us. and so forth, in a potentially unending downward spiral towards total degra· Confidential Hotline 1.888.883.2323 dation. In a nightmarish scenario, a hen (Toll Free) Torah could thus wake up to find him­ 718.337.3700 self on one of the web's many sites Do it for yourself. (NYC Area! explicitly dedicated to facilitating illic­ Do it for your children. ShalomTaskforce1sa501(c)(3)d1aritab!eorgarniation it activity. Thousands of sites offer 24/7

The Jewish Observer, November 2003 11 increase in Internet use. Ironically, increasingly ignored those they were liv­ many parents help their children get many study participants justified their ing with. 16 In 1ny counseling practice, I online in order to bolster grades, increasing time online, saying they hear complaints weekly from spouses, research reveals that more time spent needed to "stay in touch" with more dis­ parents, and especially children who feel online translates into less time spent tant friends and relatives, while they the Internet has robbed them of their reading books and worse study skills. 19 loved ones. The Internet cultivates impulsive jump­ As Internet involvement increases, so ing from web page to web page, but real do loneliness and depression - espe­ learning requires still concentration. At cially among middle- and upper-class a large New York university, the dropout ~~lnAll" // males. 17 There are many theories about rate among freshman rose proportion­ iletVtl~ll .·" the relationship between Internet use ally as their involvement in computers Global Cellular Solutions " 20 -aeNameYouTrun" and depression. For example, some and Internet access increased. Business

LOWEST RATES IN ISRAEL & EUROPE researchers argue that productive peo­ analysts also note associations between • Cellphone Rental for over 150 countrie:s ple have only limited time to develop employee Internet-access and decreased and maintain their most significant rela­ productivity.21 tionships, and moderate-to-heavy Inter­ All these academic studies touch only net use necessarily siphons hours off this on the concerns of the general popula­ precious reservoir, leaving people social­ tion. They say nothing about the bittul ly isolated and sad. Other researchers Torah or spiritual degradation bnei remind us that the mere act of sitting Torah experience when they visit the still in front of a computer display can cyber-slums. trigger a biochemical chain-reaction that ends in depression. 18 STAYING AWAY FROM A whole genre of studies describes the THE CYBER-SLUMS damage Internet involvement can wreak on academic performance. Although ((There is nothing new under the sun;' Kohelles teaches." The Internet is just novel packaging of an ancient threat- a threat to which we have always responded the same way. On erev Rosh Chodesh Nissan, 5735, Rabbi Yaakov Yisroel Kanievsky, Rabbi YAAKOV OF PASSAIC Elazar Menachem Man Shach, Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, and Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetsky 'rlll, issued a joint letter against television. Before this proclama­ tion, television had made its way into many Torah homes, but bnei Torah exhibited wondrous strength and effec­ for the 2004-2005/ i1"'D1!.'n tively banished television from our midst. Today, the Internet has penetrated school year our community, but with the same strength we will uproot it, too. Baruch will be administered i1"'~ Hashem, unlike our neighbors in the sec­ ular world, we are not confused. We rec­ December 14/ 1?1':i 1'"' at 10:00 AM ognize the danger; we see the inadequacy of partial protection; and we know what at the school building needs to be done. We possess a vacci­ nation. "Barasi yeitzer hara, barasi lo 181 Pennington Avenue Torah tavlin - I [Hashem] created the yeitzer hara, and I created 1(lrah as the antidote."23 Just as those who clung to Passaic, NJ the Tree of Life survived the yeitzer's attacks over the last 3,300 years, so too

----····.. ------·-·----- 12 The Jewish Observer, November 2003 will we survive the era of the Internet for that disease [yeitzer hara], one can mistaken, and will ultin1ately recognize by clinging to daas Torah. Mesi/las only recover by taking the prescribed his error when his sin kills him:'24 Our Yesharhn warns, "It is obvious that if the inedicine; and one who thinks he can gadolin1 have advised us to remove Inter­ Creator only created this cure [Torah] survive without this prescription is net from our homes, and so we will do.•

1 Michael Janofsky, "What Would Dewey Do? 7 Griffiths, 200 l, p. 333. 16 Robert Kraut, Vicki Lund1nark, Michael Pat­ Libraries Grapple with Internet," The New York 8 A. Cooper, "Surfing into the New Millcniun1;' terson, Sara Kies\er, Tridas Mukopadhyay, and Ti111es, 2 Dec '02. Cyberpsychology and Behavior, 1998( 1), pp. 181- \Villiam Scherlis, "Internet Paradox: A Social 2 Jennifer Lynn Gossett and Sarah Byrne, "Click 187. Technology that Reduces Social Involvement and Psychological \Veil-Being," American Psy­ }fcre: A Content Analysis of Internet. .. !Violation] 9 Likutin1 M'peirushei HaGr"a 7,a"l B'inyanei chologist, September 1998, Volume 53 (9), pp. Sites," Gender and Society, Vol. 16(5), ()ct. '02, pp. Ii1ava v'Chernda, p. 122. 689-709. 917-1031. 10 Boies, p. 79; Griffiths, 2001, p. 336, 338. 17 3 Amanda Lenhart, Lee Rainie, and ()liver Lewis, Ibid, Kraut, et al. 11 M. Parks and L. Roberts, "!vtaking MOOsic: The ICenage Life Online: The Rise of the Instant Mes­ 18 For a detailed outline of this process, see Leib sage Generation and the Internet's Jinpact on Development of Personal Relationships Online Kelen1en, What They Don't \Vant You to Know and a Comparison to their Offline Counterparts," Friendships and Family Relationships (\Vashing­ About Television and \!ideos (Southfield, Ml: Tar­ 1998( 15), pp. ton, D.C.: Pew Internet and American Life Pro­ Journal of Social Personal Relation, gum/Feldheim, 2003). 521-537. See also K.S. Young, E. Griffin-Shelley, ject, 2001 ), p. 33; Sylvain C. Boies, "University Stu­ !CJ K. Young, Caught in the Net: Hon' to Recognize dents' Uses of and Reactions to Online A. Cooper, J. Omara, and J. Buchanan, "Online Infidelity: A Nevv Di1nension in Couple Rela­ the Sig11s oflnten1et Addiction and a \Vinning Strat­ Infonnation and Entcrtain1nent: Links to Online tionships vvith hnplie

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The Jewish Observer, November 2003 13 Rabbi Aaron Twerski

BLACK CLOTHING, AT YOUR FINGERTIPS husband farnmcd '' confessed that he Reb Illai the Elder said: Ifa person sees relatively remote. The "place ~~ had become ad·dicted to that his evil inclination is overwhelming where they do not recognize him" is no viewing immoral sites and him, he should go to a place where they longer hundreds of miles away. It is the cannot break the addiction. Expo- do not recognize him and clothe himself next room. The "black clothes" are the sure to these sites began quite inno­ in black, cover himself in black, and he locked dom and the password. The bar­ cently when an image came across the should do as his heart desires. He should riers that R' Illai envisaged as protection screen and he clicked onto the forbid­ not desecrate the Name of Heaven against immoral conduct have been den site. Aside from the very difficult openly (Kiddushin 40a). almost totally obliterated. The yeitzer hara problem of breaking serious addictive eb Illai's intent was not to give has been given a weapon of almost behavior, the wife is convinced (with advice or succor to a person con­ unparalleled power and it has inflicted considerable justification) that her Rtemplating immoral conduct. mortal wounds upon the weak and spouse's moral compass has been dam­ Tosafos comments on R' Illai's dictum: unsuspecting. aged for life. He will never be the same Rabbeinu Chananel explains: Chas person she married. V'Shalom [Heaven forbid] that [R' PERSONAL PEEPHOLE • Teenagers or adults using the Internet Illai] permits one to transgress [under INTO PURGATORY for seemingly legitimate purposes begin the stated conditions J. Rather R' Illai surfing the net. Material that would never said that traveling long distances as a et me begin by confessing that I find its way into any self-respecting Jew­ wayfarer and clothing oneself in black am neither a con1puter nor an ish home is read and then clicked off. will serve to break the hold of the Evil L Internet maven. The reader will Since each exposure is a mere fleeting Inclination and prevent one from find in this issue excellent articles by minute or two, it does not seem to be transgressing ( Kiddushin 40a). those knowledgeable in this technolo­ based in reality. It, so to speak, exists only Sadly, today it is no longer necessary gy. They deserve your careful attention. in the air. But heart-rending discussions to travel long distances and clothe oneself What I bring to the table, so to speak, with those who have been exposed tell a in black to attain anonymity A user of the are my discussions with families devas­ very different tale. "I am confused and I Internet can travel worldwide by several tated by the Internet, and observation can't get my head straight. I was the clicks on a mouse and visit the most of professionals who have shared with frumest girl in my class and I will never immoral of sites and the most amoral of me cases very much like the ones to get back there again. I feel violated. How people under the blaclcness of almost total which I have been personally privy. did this happen to me?" anonymity. By locking the door to one's • An anguished spouse called to say • One spouse (either husband or wife) room or office and by utilizing a person­ that her husband had become distant experiences some dissatisfaction with al password, the likelihood of being and remote over the past several some aspect of the marriage. The cause

~~~-·-----~-~~~------months. He had either locked himself of the dissatisfaction may be inattention Rabbi Twerski, a member of the Editorial Board up in his home office professing to be (e.g., long hours at work), lack of of The Jewish Observer, is a professor in Brook­ lyn Law School and serves as chairman of the working or returned to his office after warmth, or general malaise. Instead of board of Agudath Israel of America's Commis­ hours. When the spouse suspected that seeking counseling) either professional sion on Legislation and Civic Action. something was seriously wrong, the or rabbinic, one of the spouses enters

14 The Jewish Observer, November 2003 into chat roon1 relationships with I have no easy solutions. The ubiquity rooms should be considered chazar anonymous correspondents of the of e-mail, the undeniable fact that thou­ treif without exception. How we meet opposite gender. Persons to whom the sands of our brethren conduct businesses iliis challenge will be determinative of the spouse would never talk to in a real per­ on web sites, and thousands 1nore must tzura (image) of Kial Yisroel for gener­ son-to-person encounter becon1e con­ utilize the Internet for their business or ations to co1ne. Vigilance, vigilance and fidants from whom nothing is witl1held. professions, make total rejection of the more vigilance is our only recourse. • The respondent need not be Jewish nor Internet in1possible. But every Internet pay homage to any religious or moral user must understand the profound dan­ Jerusalem's only licensed BUYER'S BROKER Personalized weekly update service values. But they offer a comforting gers that this new medium presents. incl All agents' listings &. owners' ads shoulder and advice on any and all Every safeguard available must be used. • 2nd home in Israel nTTEIHAliyah shown me correspondence between lin1itations on oneself and one's children Rfi.~.l,J:)! pho Oll ·9726·7602-644 iliem and chat-room friends. At best, it to prevent access to improper sites. Chat mou•~m~" www.artzeinurealty.com was stupid. At worst, its immorality would shock the conscience of even a primate. I can attest to the fact that some have acted on cyber-advice with hor­ rendous consequences. THEVORT • The menu for the seuda is limited to 3 CHAT ROOMS: EVEN WORSE • The Vort celebration is to be courses followed by a regular dessert. discontinued. The L'chaim (held at ut the story gets worse, much • No Viennese table and no bar. the time that the engagement is worse. Chat-roon1 relationships announced) should also not turn into a THE MUSIC Bare serious relationships. Emo­ tional entang1ements with anonymous Vo rt. • A band may consist of a maximum of partners can have a profound impact on THE WEDDING 5 musicians (one of the musicians may act as a vocalist) or four musicians and one the psyche of the correspondent. The • Only 400 invited guests may be anony1nous correspondent is not a real additional vocalist. seated at the chassuna seuda. person with warts and faults. He or she • A one-man band is recommended. is a fantasy: compassionate and caring. • The kabbolas panim smorgasbord The cyber-partner trumps real life should be limited to basic cakes, fruit plat­ FLOWERS & CHUPA DECOR human relationships by a country mile. ters, a modest buffet, and the caterer's • The total cost of these items for the entire Not only does a troubled marriage not standard chicken or meat hot dishes. wedding should not exceed $1,800. get the attention it needs, it can be destroyed beyond repair by a phantom FOR THE FULL VERSION OF ,THE SIMCHA GUIDELINES person who is neither identified nor AND THE ACCOMPANYING KOL KOREH, identifiable. please email [email protected] or call 212-612-2300 Some will say that what I am describ­ ing is the result of over-sheltering our We the rabbinical signatories - barring familial obligations - and unusual and children and even ourselves from the extraordinary circumstances - wilt not participate in or attend a wedding celebration that real world. If we would only be more disregards these guidelines. (Rabbinical Listing in formation) open and less protective and insular, we Rabbi Shmuel Birnbaum Rabbi Eli Simcha Schustal Rabbi Elya Ber Wachtfogel would be less vulnerable. There are sev­ Rosh Hayeshiva, Mirer Yeshiva Rash Hayeshiva, Bais Binyomin, Stamford Rmh Ha Yeshiva, Ye1-hiva Gedo/ah of South Fallsburg eral responses. First, a huge body of sec­ Rabbi Elya Svei Rabbi Yisroel Rokowsky Rmh He yeshiva, Ye>h!Va Gedo/a of Philadelpluii Rabbi Yisroel Simcha Schorr Rabbi Chaim Boruch Wolpin ular literature finds these problems to Rosh Hayeihivc, Yeshiva Karlin S!olin Rabbi Shmuel Kaminetzky Rmhei Ha Yeshiva, Yeihiva Ohr Somcyach be universal. Internet addiction in gen­ Rosh Hayeshivo, \'\'Shiva Gedo/a of Phi/adelphic Rabbi Aryeh Malkiel Ko~er Rabbi Zecharia Gelley eral, and addiction to immoral sites in Rav. Kha/ Ada> Jelhurun Rabbi Yaakov Perlow Rmh Hayeshiva, Beth Medrcsh Govoha, lokewood particular, is not limited to the frum Jew­ Novominsker Reblx! Rabbi Yisroel Tzvi Neuman Rabbi Lipa Margulies Rmh Ha yeshiva, Ye>hiva & Me11fta Torah Temimah ish world. But even if they were so lim­ Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Feigel stock Rosh Hayeihiva, Beth Medraih Govoha, Lakewood Rosh Ha yeshiva, Yeihiva of Long BNdi ited, we would have to address it. The Rabbi Dovid Tzvi Schustal Rabbi Dovid Kviat Rabbi Moshe Wolfson Chairman, Conferem:e of Synagogue Rabbonim Rmh Ha yeshiva, Beth Medra>h Govohc, Lakewood very essence of kedushas Yisroel is at Mashgiach, Yeshiva Torah vodcai of Agudaih Israel stake. The entirety of Torah rests on the Rabbi Aron Moshe Schechter Rabbi Yeruchem Dlshin Rabbi Shlomo Mandel rejection of the kind of immorality that Rosh Hayeihiva, Yeshiva CMim Berlin Rosh Hayeshivo, Beth Medrash Govoha, Lakewood Rosh Hayeshiva, Yeshiva of Brooklyn pervades our society. This is a battle that Rabbi Yosef Rosenblum Rabbi Mattisyahu Salamon Rabbi Ephraim Wachsman cannot be lost. Rosh Hayeshivc, Yeshiva Shaarei Yosher Mcshgiach Beth Medrash Govoha, Lckewood Rosh Ha yeshiva, Mesivta Meor Yitzchok

·------·--·----·--·--··---- The Jewish Observer, November 2003 15 At the recent meeting sponsored by the Agudath Israel Conference of Synagogue Rabbonim, several business executives and professionals presented a demonstration on the hazards inherent to common use of computers and Internet in the workplace and the home. This article, focusing on home use, is based on the information conveyed to the Rabbonim on that occasion. The Dangers of the Computer and the Internet

I. A SIGNIFICANT INVENTION, is understanding the problem and rec­ who appreciated his students' inten­ A SIGNIFICANT CHALLENGE ognizing its severity. We are referring now tions, but who was dubious about let­ explicitly to problems that these tech­ ting a computer into his home, was he computer and the Internet are nologies raise in the home. We do not dis­ curious as to how his students had two of the most significant inven­ cuss their use for business purposes, selected what to him was such an odd Ttions in human history. They where computers and, often, the Inter­ gift for a Rebbe - especially from stu­ make possible the heretofore unimag­ net are essential tools for competitiveness dents of such a prestigious yeshiva as ined, and have been responsible for rev­ and survival. Yet, even in business, there theirs. He decided to ask them how olutionizing human activity, which has is a need to limit access to these tools for many had a computer in their own resulted in many-fold increases in pro­ legitimate business uses only. Certainly, home. Of 27 boys in the class, 27 ductivity. At the same time, however, the there is a need to separate between busi­ hands shot up. The Rebbe asked further, computer and the Internet pose the ness use and home use. If a business com­ 'jtlnd how many of you have unre­ greatest challenge we have faced in a long puter is essential in the home, the use of stricted access to the Internet?" 17 time in protecting the sanctity of our the computer for business purposes hands went up. Now the Rebbe under­ minds, our homes and our families. only must be strictly enforced by limits stood why the boys thought that a com­ There are only imperfect solutions to the on physical access to the computers for puter was a perfect gift. They could not problems that arise; no matter what we other purposes. As we will see, physical appreciate living without one. try, we cannot devise a foolproof limits (that is, keeping the computer Yet the computer, and especially the method to be immune from the dangers. under lock and key) are the only ones that Internet, present serious problems in the There are partial solutions that we must are effective in insulating the new tech­ chareidi Jewish home. implement to the extent possible, but an nologies from making pernicious inroads There are five levels of problems with enterprising individual can find a way to in the lives of a frum family. computers and the Internet. The first two get around any solution yet devised. Tak­ Today, the computer and the Inter­ of these refer to the personal computer ing security steps should not lull us into net are pervasive in the homes of our itself, even if it is not connected to the a false sense of security. The usefulness yeshiva children: Internet. The other three are problems of the medium should not make us A class in a yeshiva bought an that arise when a computer is connect­ oblivious to the very real dangers. impressive present for their Rebbe for ed to the web of communication that is The first step in protecting ourselves Purim - a new computer. The Rebbe, the Internet.

16 The Jewish Observer, November 2003 II.GAMES III. MOVIES/VIDEOS parents are out, it is a sin1ple 1natter for our children to rent or buy a DVD he lowest level of serious prob­ ur community has struggled movie and pop it into the computer. I lems comes from computer mightily, with some success, recently went into a local outlet of a Tgames. Games on computers are 0 against 1novies, television and national pharmacy chain, and for becoming more and 1nore realistic, videos. Many of our homes no longer $4.99 I was able to purchase a movie with characters that are life-like and have a television or even a video play­ on DVD. The computer obligingly adopting modern Hollywood-style er, because of the dangerous effect of understands the code in which the standards of dress and behavior. They these modes of"entertainment" on our questionable movie content is etched draw the players into the complicated own thinking and the thinking of our onto the metal disk that spins in the tapestry of images they weave, and play­ impressionable youth. But our homes drive, and an image appears on the ers often lose the1nselves for hours on do have co1nputers, and every com­ computer screen sharper and more end in the imagined worlds they create. puter sold today can be used as a DVD realistic than most television or film. Bittul z'man, wasting time, is the least player and as a television screen. When It is no difference to the computer of the problems with these games. Players can become divorced from real­ ity, living for the thrill of imagined worlds, and the joy of the action that envelops them when they are enthralled with the game and its play. ?f)O The games have tremendous power over children. There are children who are addicted to computer games. Rabbe'im of children in the 7'h through 12•h grades tell of children who come into yeshiva in the morning, talking only i1 ::i '\Vnl:l 'i', !:> of their game experiences the night before, and swapping stories with their fellow students. Their minds are com­ l1:tl'1 nn?tv :ti'V' :iin pletely taken over by the thrill of the game, with little room left for concen­ n11nn 7Y · '::i p7n t:P1Y1D · 'N p7n tration on the "boring" dikduk or abstract Gemora. After all, Lashon or i11n '711:tn n1n:>on ny Gemora has few monsters and close calls, little color, and few enticing characters; ilN'llil n 1'7:>n '7lJ '7"nrn1 '7"1nn no•l!J • one must think, painfully and deeply, rather than have thoughts thrust at you n1inn nN '71j7'7 0'71).Jn nin1N'7 n1 1n1 nn•n nnNl oNn • from all sides to which your brain has merely to submit. i1N'71 '7nl l'l).J llN'l • Once the Internet is added to a com­ 1 1 1 .11).JI Dl lNI 1n1 ,01'7 ,l)iJ 'n.1 D 11N ) • puter, there are games that you can play interactively with other people far away, "'7N).JYJl!JI nl'7)" 1!.1 1 ON 0 11nNI '7"~T '7N0 11 0 11 n 'l no•l!J • adding another dimension of thrill and co1npetitiveness. These strangers 111!.JNlil D1N Non '7).J llN'l • with whom you are playing can remain "•nNll!.I 11!.l).J nNI" - "ilj71nl y1Nn 1l)lil" • anonymous, but can just as easily iden­ tify themselves, and, buoyed by the com­ n 11'7 n1~ no1:>n l'l).J • "•nm:>l!.I Nl mn" • mon game experience, develop into 1 1 close friends over whon1 parents have 111 IN 1on1 11no1n n1 n nN~in • not the slightest awareness, let alone approval. These friends can come from ... 11).11 11).11 .nil~)) llnD il11l).J • all cultures and all religions, or lack thereof-not the kind of friends a par­ D'1!:10i1 nv1ln:i :t".Vi17 ent would choose for their budding yeshiva bachur or Bais Yaakov student.

The Jewish Observer, November 2003 17 whether the film is a harmless cartoon IV. THE INTERNET to them that someone would order a or a depiction of the worst filth, computer without the ability to connect whether it is a trivial comedy or a e now come to the dangers of to the Internet, that their entire assem­ thought-provoking romantic drama. (Is the Internet, dangers that do bly process is built with insertion of the even the trivial comedy of today truly W not exist in a lone, dangerous modem as an integral step. It therefore trivial?) And what thoughts are pro­ unconnected computer. A word of cau­ would take a special order and added voked by modern conceptions of cul­ tion, however, is in order if you think it expense notto include the modem. This ture and lifestyle choices? And how are is easy to escape the unique nisyonos is but one symptom of how essential the the actors and actresses dressed? (temptations) of the Internet by mere­ Internet has become to the American Moreover, students actively trade ly keeping your computer disconnect­ ways of business and leisure. movies and games with each other. ''I'll ed. Almost every computer sold today Perhaps you want to remove the lend you this one over the weekend, if comes with a built-in modem. A modem from your computer after you you'll lend me yours when my parents modem is a device that lets a comput­ receive it, and hire a special technician go to a chasuna on Thursday night. I er communicate over a phone line. Once to do just that. It is still possible to buy guess I can miss mishmar one week if such a connection is established, the an external modem that can simply be the movie is as good as you say." world of the Internet lies at your feet. plugged into your computer and do the A DVD leaves no trace on the Most readers, I an1 sure, have received same job as an internal modem. A bright machine that it has been used. Pop it a disk in the mail, inviting you to put teen-ager can get such an external in, view its content, remove it, and no the Internet on your computer for modem, plug it in when be needs it and one can ever know that the computer free. Thousands of such disks are sent remove it when he is not using the Inter­ was used for an entertaining evening by out gratis each inonth to entice com­ net, with no evidence of it ever having the apple of his parents' eye. puter users to sample the pleasures of been plugged in (However, there may be Again, we are talking here of any an Internet connection. Your children evidence of Internet use within the files modern computer, without connection can easily get one of these disks. With of the computer that a computer-savvy to the Internet. A connection to the the disk, and a modem on their com­ parent can locate, but that a computer­ Internet allows on-line and pirated puter, they are in the world of the Inter­ savvy child can erase.) access to almost any movie ever made, net, with all its useful functions and all without the bother of trading with a its insidious dangers. Often, a new V.EMAIL friend or entering a store and actually computer comes with a certain number making a purchase. While such access of Internet hours already pre-loaded, so he first level of Internet use is is illegal due to copyright laws, it is even the disk is not necessary. email. 1'his is where one person freely available in the nether world of If you try ordering a computer with­ Tat a computer can send another the Internet, and a determined teen­ out a built-in modem, the computer person at a computer an electronic let­ ager can certainly figure out how to company will likely give you a very hard ter. The sender types out the letter, clicks bring whatever he wants to the com­ time, as though it cost them extra for not on a Send symbol, and the letter is deliv­ puter screen. giving you the modem. It is so absurd ered to the receiver's computer. The receiver can compose a response and FORA send it by simply clicking on a Reply MOST symbol. ENJOYABLE AND ENTERTAIN p Email has three properties that make CHANUKAH GIFT.... it particularly enticing and dangerous: instantaneousness, asynchronicity, and relative anonymity. Instantaneousness, refers to the fact that, like a telephone, an email message is received almost as soon as it is sent.· Asynchronicity means that, unlike a telephone, the email recipient need not be at his computer, ready to receive, in order for the mes-

·"··~·~--- ~A cell phone is even worse in this regard, because the conversation must be immediate, while you can wait before responding to an e1nail. It is not entirely wise for yeshiva bachurim and fru1n young ladies to have unrestricted access to a cell phone either. But email is even worse than a phone because of its asynchronous nature.

18 The Jewish Observer, November 2003 sage to be delivered. The message is reach me by phone, to ensure that my ment to realize what is junk and is to be instantaneously available to the receiv­ correspondent and I are both available ignored, and what is valuable and er's computer (if the computer is off, it at the very sa1ne time; but if someone worth spending time on. A child often beco1nes available as soon as the recip­ sends me an e1nail, it will wait patient­ does not have such discernment, and has ient signs on), and, subsequently, the ly until I am available and can look at a far stronger curiosity in things that he intended recipient can look at it when­ it and reply. It gives me the freedom to never yet experienced. ever he wants. If the recipient is not at communicate (both in receiving a com­ There is another problem with email his computer now, the message will be munication and sending one) when I that is referred to as spam. Spam is when waiting for hi1n when he returns. Rela­ want to and have the time. To set up a some person or organization collects tive anonyn1ity means that it is not meeting, or even a phone call, may take email addresses and sends out a message always obvious fro1n an email n1essage days; to have a two-way conversation by to thousands and even millions of who the sender is. The initial recipient email can take only hours, if not min­ recipients. For example, one company can be corresponding with someone utes. may send out messages to reduce mort­ who is very different from whom he (or An adult hopefully has the discern- gage costs, another to allow people to she) says he is. There are few clues to identity in an email message, such as accent, manner of speaking, or imme­ diate reactions, that are present in a tele­ phone conversation. A phone conversation can only take place if both people are available to talk ILDING simultaneously. People are busy and have different schedules; it is not always FOil. THE easy to arrange a two-way conversation. By contrast, your email to me will wait until I'm ready to read it, and my response to you can take place at any UTURE time, and can be read any time after rve sent it. ''fhus, it beco1nes far more con­ Diur year:; ngo, \ve set out to build a fin;t class,

venient for a stranger to initiate a con­ r outpofptO\Vn yeshivah p including a Mesivta, Bais

versation. The sender can rely on the Medrash and Kolle! p right in the heart of the Ne"'· York natural curiosity of the receiver to 1netropolitan area. We chose leafy, upscale Manhattan Beach, insure that his message, which may be located 1ninutcs fron1 the Verazzann Narrows Bridge, far enough robe full ofunwanted and inappropriate con­ secluded yet close enough for convenience. tent, will be read, without going to the trouble of locating a postage stamp, l)uring the:.;e four years, v.re have exp:.mded going to a mailbox, and waiting sever­ our facilities t\vicc to acco1nn1odate our rapid al days. gro\vth. We have no\v purchased a large huH

Finally, because of relative anonymi­ r:if"'n ;rt111:i• l"ll'! r:ivrn l:l"n :ii;i ;i:i•vn:ituN., ';'l::l'tumWI<., ty, a sender can disguise who he really to renovate and prepare it for our future is, and, because of asynchronicity, can Reserve your share in the most exciting take the time to plan his response for new Torah institution in the New York a n1aximal impact and nefarious effect. Cal! now for dedication opportunities. There are many stories of inappropri­ ate romances started by email, and of unwitting young people being lured into all sorts of illegal, immoral, and count­ ·~~Ji er-hashkafa attitudes and interests. T -r MESIVTA & BAIS MEDRASll OF Young people, without a mature and wary picture of the world around them, MANHATTAN BEACH may be particularly susceptible. Of course, email has n1any advan­ tages. My correspondence for the ben­ efit of many mosdos is almost exclusively via email. It may be very difficult to

The Jewish Observer, November 2003 19 order prescription drugs without exam­ sion of spreading their particular brand hours looking at them. What is at stake ination by a physician, another to entice of filth as far and as wide as possible. is nothing less than kedushas Yisroel. people to visit a pornographic web site. Moreover, the websites are accessi­ The cost of sending millions of messages ble via keyword searches. You can VII.CHAT is negligible, and even if only one of a type in the word "shul;' and a list of thousand recipients responds, the websites comes back listing shuls from he final problematic capability of sender makes a tidy profit. Even some­ all over the world, Yiddish stories that the Internet is Chat. This refers to thing as innocent as an advertisement use the word" shuf' or the website of a Tthe ability to communicate with for clothing can entice a young person Mr. Jim Shul from Plano, Texas. You anyone in the world about any subject to break through the gidrei tzenius, as has merely click on one of the items listed of mutual interest. You can click for a happened on a few occasions. The to go directly to that website. Of group of people interested in mathe­ insidiousness of this method of com­ course, children can imagine much matics, or chess, or romance, or movies munication is that the email message more interesting terms to enter into a of a certain type, etc. Once you find your itself can allow you to click on a line in website searcher than the word "shul:' group, you can have an on-line conver­ the message, and thereby go to a total­ Even if you list the word Judaism, you sation with everyone in the group so that ly forbidden series of images or to order will get back a listing that includes Con­ the whole group can chime in, or you undesirable books or merchandise. servative and Reform organizations and can "take the chat private," that is, enter texts) as well as those from missionar­ into a private conversation with a sin­ VI. WEB SITES ies and Jews for J. Once, I entered the gle individual, male or female, or some­ word Torah, and the first item on my one pretending to be male or female. web site is a collection of screens list was a Moslem diatribe allegedly The subjects can be the worst possible accessible through the Internet proving the falsity of the Torah, chas topics for a yeshiva student. There have A that any individual can set up mi'lehazkir. been cases of a suitor enticing a young­ using a standard encoding process. (The With such a tool, it is also unfortu­ ster over the Internet to meet and even stress is on "any individual.") Many peo­ nately easy to find the thousands of web­ to run away with him. ple set up websites describing their fam­ sites devoted to pure pornography of A very bright Bais Yaakov high ily, their hobby, their vacation, or their absolutely the worst type. There have school girl with a strong interest in a resume, for anyone in the whole world been numerous stories of people arrest­ certain kind of music got onto the Inter­ to look at. Many organizations or com­ ed for having on their computer images net in a chat room for that type of panies set up websites for publicity rea­ of child pornography taken from web music. She began a conversation with sons or to enable others to purchase sites on the Internet. a gentile boy with similar interests, and goods from them. Other individuals set Websites not only have affected young they found that they had a connection up websites with the worst porno­ people; they have ruined whole families with each other. They made up to meet graphic images, some requiring a pay­ in which the baal habayis has become in person. She then became frightened ment, and others for free with the mis- addicted to offensive images and spends by the whole enterprise and came to her mechaneches (mentor) and told her the story. The mechaneches logged into the chat room and corresponded with the boy. Fortunately, the boy was an hon­ orable person, and when she explained to him that the relationship could not continue, he let it go. But there are other cases where separation did not occur, leading to disastrous consequences. Another incident is related by a frum clinical psychologist: MASORES BAIS YAAKOV HIGH SCHOOL He was seeing a very bright eight­ year-old girl. She had been in a perfectly 1395 Ocean Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11230 innocent chat room. One day she told the psychologist: "Someone wants to For applications for the school year '1"01!11'1, 2004-2005 marry me." They got on the computer, please contact Masores High School, 718-692-0537, ext 224 and her correspondent immediately saw that she was on the machine and Rabbi Yoscf M. (~elman, Menahel Rebbetzin M. Ishee, Menaheles began a conversation with her. The cor­ Mrs. S. Pinter, Principal, General Studies Mrs. T. Yanofsky, Asst. Principal respondent thought she was a

20 The Jewish Observer, November 2003 teenager and wanted to 1neet with her. r[b the extent con1puters remain in the objectionable. )-Net is an Internet serv­ There have also been problems with home, there are several steps we can take: ice provider that is useful in the business adult men or women beginning corre­ •The computer should be placed in environn1ent and has some value in the spondence with strangers and ulti­ a well-trafficked part of the home, where home. Also: Yeshivamail provides email mately breaking up large families. It has everyone can see what is being displayed without internet. Look into this type of been also found that children who drop on the screen. solution. out of our society invariably correspond • No one should spend too much [The readers is referred to a si1nilar via the Internet. tin1e at the computer. Do your business list at the conclusion of Rabbi Adler­ In chat rooms, you are imn1ediately and leave. Spending too much time at stein's article, which follows.] inforn1ed when son1eone you have cor­ the computer should automatically be But re1ne1nber, none of these solu­ responded with before is on the syste1n, considered a suspect activity. tions is perfect. They are all bedieved, and and you can use an Instant Messaging • Most systems allow the owner to set you should still be aware of what goes capability to hold a real-time conversa­ parental controls. Use them. They are on at your computer. B tion with that person. not foolproof, but do offer some pro­ The dangers of the Internet are tection by limiting access to certain web many and diverse. The Internet should sites and filtering incoming email. be kept out of chareidi homes because Unfortunately, children are often far New it represents a very real danger to more computer-savvy than their parents, kedushas Yisroel and everything we and have a knack for getting around any Book hold dear. controls imposed. The simplest solution is to ban com­ • It is possible to set up email-only One-Minute History Lessons puters from the home. Many of us may access. This will at least eliminate the from 'I«rrgum!Fcldheim problems with web sites and chat think that is impossible, but 40 years ago, $J2acopy many of us thought that banning tele­ rooms. vision from the ho1ne was iinpossible. •There are some commercially avail­ Yeshiva Fund We learned that not only was it possi­ able solutions. CyberSitter is a software Box 82. Slaten Island. NY !0309 ble, it was essential. package that filters out much of what is Free S(1111p/e if you teach Jewish History

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The Jewish Observer, November 2003 21 Rabbi Yitzchok Adlerstein THE ELECTRONIC Can Technology Make the Internet Safer?

A talmid ofRabbi Eliyahu Lopian?"t Access to all there is on the Internet is why they don't work the way we would reconnected with his rebbi after a sepa­ a temptation that no one frum should like them to, and make recommendations ration ofsome years, and informed him have to face. While other communities are about the best remedies possible. that he had found employment in a field also concerned with the easy availability that involved mixing freely with men and of all kinds of degradation on the Inter­ THE SAFETY FILTER women in a relaxed atmosphere. "You net, most of them see this as a problem would be proud of me, rebbi! I think of of exposing employers to lawsuits, or of he most essential piece of protec­ your mussar all through my working exposing children to material inappro­ tion is a software package some­ hours, and never once had any inap­ priate to their age. The kedusha of Kial Yis­ Ttimes called an Internet "safety fil­ propriate thoughts." roel teaches us that some things are objec­ ter." Filters come in two basic varieties: Rabbi Lopian asked thetalmid for his tiouable at any age. whitelist and blacklist. Whitelist filters name. The student was taken aback. His For various reasons, good and bad, come with (or allow you to construct) lists rebbi certainly must remember his many people will decide to introduce of"good" sites, and block everything else. name! Rabbi Lopian corrected him. It online access to their homes. AB more and Because the Web is so vast, and because was his mother's name he really want­ more businesses switch to Internet access, most people who feel they need Internet ed, so that he could make a Mi She­ son1e even exclusively, a greater number access cannot predict which sites they will beirach for him. Puzzled, the student of members of the observant communi- need to visit, whitelist filters are not as asked why he needed a Mi Shebeirach, popular as the other type. when he wasn't ill. Blacklist filters use various strategies "I am an old man. Yet, I can hardly ;to find sites that are objectionable, and walk to the bus stop from my house with­ revent you from accessing them. Typ­ out fighting offsome unwanted thought. ically, developers of these filters both col­ You claim that as a young tnan in the lect information about "bad" sites that prime of life, you entertain no unholy are already known, plus look for new thoughts? Surely there must be something ones by searching for ce11ain buzz wrong with you! I will make a Mi She­ words. These devices suffer from two beirach for you to have a refua sheleima kinds of errors. Because they search for (complete recovery )f' words without really understanding ty will likely make similar choices. context, they will sometimes act a bit ARETHEREANY Must we make an all-or-nothing overzealously. Looking for informa­ RELIABLE SAFEGUARDS? choice? Must we either disallow the tion about Middlesex, New Jersey, or an Internet entirely in our domestic sanc­ Internet provider named Conexxxion, e pride ourselves on our hon­ tuaries, or have to live with an open door­ might end in blocked failure. (My filter esty. We know our weakness­ way to the good, the bad, and the ugly? blocked me from accessing articles W es, and do not hide from them. ls there a middle ground? Are there tech­ dealing with Internet safety! Filters are When we consider our te1nptations, we nological solutions and software packages good, but not terribly smart, so they do not pretend that we are not tempted, that can make Internet use safe for the produce unexpected results. The first site but find ways to distance ourselves from frum family? that my filter blocked belongs to the them, erecting barriers and safety zones Sadly, the answer is no. None of the Society for Humanistic Judaism. On sec­ in front of them. devices operates in full measure of our ond thought, maybe it was smarter than expectations and standards. All of them I thought!) Their errors are infrequent Rabbi Adlerstein directs Project Next Step, an are also flawed and imperfect. There is no enough, though, that frum families educational outreach program of the Simon magic bullet that will fix the Internet to should be prepared to make the small Wiesenthal Center, and also serves as a faculty make it work al taharas hakodesh. There sacrifice in order to enjoy the protection member at Yeshiva of Los Angeles and its High Schools. He is a contributing editor to Jewish are devices and measures, however, which when it works. Action, and a frequent contributor to many Jew~ can make a had situation somewhat bet­ More worrisome are errors of the ish and general publications. His English~lan­ ter. We will consider here what is available, opposite nature: material slipping guage rendition of Be' er Hagolah, the Maharal through when it shouldn't. There are of Prague's classic defense of rabbinic Judaism, * Hebre_;-for-~-p~~t~~ti~~b;;;;~;t~ prevent ~--d~-~= was published by ArtScroll/Mesorah Publications. gerous fall (see l)evari111 22,8). several reasons why filters are not

22 The Jewish Observer, November 2003 perfect, or at least better - and that they specific questions about blocking partic­ PARENTAL CONTROLS, ANYONE? are unlikely to ever become good ular modes of body attire. None of the cri­ enough for us to rely upon. One is the teria I have seen is as strict as we would OL users have a built-in option in enormous quantity of filth - commer­ want; those that are don't work very well. sing the Parental Controls cial and private - that is out there. No The best I can point to is CyberSitter. ptions, whicb AOL, to tl1eir cred­ commercially feasible group of people I can vouch for its generally reliable per­ it, are constantly refining. Assuming that could track all of them, with hundreds formance. (I have had conflicts with newly your children each have unique sign-in more pepping up every day. (A heimishe installed software. It also has staged names, you can tailor profiles for each. It company, thejnet.com, combines the work stoppages at times, and needed to will keep track for you whicb sites they blacklists of several commercial be either fixed, through a utility that visited and attempted to visit. If a child providers for maximum effect.) Any the­ comes with it, or even reinstalled.) !twill has a reason to use a particular site that oretical group that attempted such a job allow you to select the kinds of sites it he is locked out of, he can request one­ with American sites would have to shonld block, with options that can be set time permission to unlock it. You will repeat their efforts on British, French, in many areas. Any attempt to access a receive a notification, and can respond German, Italian, Japanese, Swedish, etc. blocked site will bring up some sort of even from a distant computer. Teens old sites. There is no end. Lots of sites sim­ message denying access, or something enough to use the Internet for shopping ply do not incorporate some of the tell­ similar. It keeps tabs on user activity, and can do so in a supervised manner, with­ tale marks of pornography, and are not allows tbe program's administrator to out giving them your credit card. AOL flagged by the antomatic processes. view a summary of either all sites visit­ Cash Card Online allows you to create a Providers switch servers and addresses ed, or all objectionable sites attempted. It virtual credit card by depositing a given often, making it hard to track even some will show exactly how long a viewer spent amount of credit in their account - and of the larger smnt peddlers. time at this site. If someone really does then shows you exactly what they have stumble into something he did not purchased with it. PROBLEMS OF LIMITED FOCUS expect and quickly exited, the log will Let's say that you will only allow your show this too, so no one need fear being kids to use the Internet with a parent's ilters are also limited by focusing on "framed" by the program. Parents can active participation. You still wish to only certain parts of the problem. control the exact times of the week that allow them to communicate with friends FThey can examine subjects of email they will allow different children access through email. Parental Controls will messages, and look for titillation in Web to the Internet, assuming all users have allow you to ban every otl1er function of addresses. But they cannot open attach­ their own password-coded user names. the Internet - chat rooms, web access, ments and evaluate the text or photos. Once set up, CyberSitter works unob­ ftp downloads - while allowing mail in They will also not block images that are trusively in the background. Its develop­ and out. Moreover, it will allow access to embedded in a webpage, like the banner ers did their homework well in making a small number of sites chosen for their ads that pay for many of the most pcp­ it impervious to attack by those who wish suitability to children, including some of ular sites. (Households that try to keep to disable it. the research tools that they may claim The New York Times away because of increasingly provocative advertising will You can! Just call have an even greater problem with web­ sites that offer similar images - only in ''I wish I could The Yit:t:i Leibel color!) Pop-up ads that piggy-back onto Helpline. otherwise innocuous webpages are also HOURS: unwanted guests. (Yes, you can use a tool Monday-Friday ...... Sam -12pm speak to a Monday-Thursday ...... 8pm -1 l pm to turn off all images, including the ban­ Sunday ...... 9an1 -12pn1, 9p1n -1 l pm ner ads. Microsoft offered one for !ES. I've kept it without problem while using IE6. frum therapist Easily available utilities like Pop-up Stop­ • 11s;~f4~£;~~w per will banish the pop-up ads. But these Chicago ...... ( 800) HELP-023 are not lockable. They can be undone as Lakewood ...... (732) 363-1010 on the phone Cleveland ...... (888) 209-8079 quickly and easily as they are pressed into Baltimore ...... (410) 578-1111 service. Practically, they offer no protec­ Detrnit ...... (877) 435-7611 tion at all.) without giving San Diego ...... (866) 385-0348 And just what is the smut that the fil­ Toronto ...... (416) 784-1271 The Rebbetzin Phyllis Weinberg Branch of the Yitti Leibel Helpline ters are supposed to block? Contempo­ '1"~' o7vor 111 inJ 1:r1<:1JJt• ., n:i ~1v1-: ;i·'n Til'.lt') ·1 r rary definitions are certainly nowhere as 1.,-;-vn ~~-10. ~· ,.,11J~ll my name.'' iTi' lll':l~;i~:n 'i;?ii'-~l1 J;11 tl'l!:t't'l 'l inclusive as halachic ones. Some filters ask Dedicated b Mr. & Mrs. Shmuel Baruch Wilhelm

··--"-··-·-·------·------·-··--·-·-·-·-·------The Jewish Observer, November 2003 23 for the sixth consecutive year PROJECT RISHUM: The Campaign to Enroll Children in Torah Schools in Eretz Yisroel has surpassed all expectations. Thousands of newly registered ·· .. qpildren - from secular, not as yet observant homes - are in in Yeshivos and Bais Yaakov thon their way to living ~P.~l1Ce has proven lliisqon. follow, ~n

26 The Jewish Observer, November 2003 and help them choose books they think Still, for those homes that will allow the appropriate. Each family takes into Internet in, some protection is better account the needs of the individual child, than none at all. and the guidance of its own Torah advi­ There is yet another problem asso­ sors. Yet very few families, if any, move ciated with the Internet, one that to a neighborhood where there is no impacts even those who do not own public library, simply to escape the temp­ computers. Kohelles warns us to be cir­ tation. They rely on the rules they have cumspect in our speech, because "of Child Development set, and the trust they have that their hashamayim yolich es hakol - a bird of children will not openly defy them. They the sky will spread the sound." The bird Specialists serving also know that if, somehow, a child was has sprouted new wings, and now trav­ really bent on obtaining salacious mate· els at the speed of light, and to all cor­ infants/toddlers rial, nothing could stop them. Standards ners of the globe at the same time. Never of chinuch are established to guide and has there been more opportunity to cre­ and their families train children who are basically good - ate kiddush Hashem by reaching large not to act in place of military sentries numbers of people cheaply and effi­ with fixed bayonets. ciently. (Shiur-givers on Project Gene­ sis, the Web's largest portal for entry­ LEAVING AN ELECTRONIC TRAIL level Tnrah, can take pride in reaching literally across the globe, as the sub­ well thought -out marriage of scriber list includes the most remote echno1ogy and corn111on sense places on Earth, like McMurdo Station an vastly cut down on the Inter· in Antartica.) But the opposite is also net's threat by removing its two n1ost true. There are no secrets anymore. insidious dangers. Co111puters are so easy What you think happens within the pri­ to use, and they seen1 to be so anony­ vacy of your own comn1unity will not mous. One who is tempted to look in the stay there very long. A single, disgrun­ wrong place can do so without fear of tled individual can be heard around the discovery. No human is watching, and world, letting all kinds of people in on no one (people think, somewhat naive­ the faults and foibles of a community. ly) is keeping a paper trail, ready to It is not only the kind of news that used embarrass the user later on. Almost all to wind up on the front page of a news­ people have moments of greater and less­ paper that is shared with others today. Evaluation &Therapy at our center er spiritual strength. Easy, anonymous The smallest subtleties, the nuances of or in the privacy of your home fulfillment of a passing desire or curios­ our language, our hu1nor, our diet and ity is a nisayon that no one~ parent or our purchase preferences - all of these Bi-Lingual Services Available child - should have to live with. When are open to easy inspection by the rest users know that their Internet where­ of the world. We live in a fishbowl, and All Services are Free of Charge abouts are recorded and checked, much the lights never go out. Whether we use of the nisayon diminishes. The danger is the Internet or not, we 1nust be far more still there, but is it really so inviting to conscious of our behavior today than Executive Offices: go through all the trouble? When users ever before, if protecting Hashem's 4228 Tenth Avenue are told up front that 95% of the "bad Nan1e is important to us. Brooklyn, New York I I 2 19 stuff" is being filtered out, and that their Our Torah instructs us to place a Queens Office: keystrokes and mouse-clicks have maakeh - a protective fence -in every 70-14 14/st Street beco1ne visible and transparent tooth­ well-frequented place where people Flushing, New York 113 6 7 ers, the Internet could becon1e no more might inadvertently fall. The maakeh threatening than the neighborhood need only be ten tefachim high, or about SERVING BROOKLYN, QUEENS, library around the corner. 38 inches. Such a short fence cannot itself STATEN ISLAND & MANHATTAN Unfortunately, the analogy breaks provide an absolute guarantee against a down. As we showed, the devices do not person falling off, ifhe ventures too close work as well as they should, and to the edge. But the Torah recognizes that unscheduled periods of spotty supervi­ a small gedder, a small fence, can help. 718•972•0880 sion will happen. And the computer is Internet safety tools should be seen in the in your home, not around the corner. same manner. •

------··---·------··--·--"·---,_--.. "-·------The Jewish Observer, November 2003 27 ?iJcv11/o~ ~d ~~e1it6 Shirei Yosef - Tue Songs of Yossele A night dedicated to the memory of Yossele Rosenblatt upon the 70th Yahrtzeit of his passing. Join us as the worlds leading cantors will pay tribute to his memory.

Cantor Daniel Gildar at the Piano

Master of Ceremonies: Charlie Bernhaut

Sunday, December 21 sf:, 2003 at 8:00 p.m. Lincoln Center • Alice Tuly Hall

Tickets $50 · $100 · $180 · $500* (718) 851-3226 · (866) 3-CANTOR www.cantorsworld.co:m

Separate seating available upon request. Rabbi Shimon Finkelman The Chazon Ish J"~~ 'Fifty 'Y eal!s Since ll.is 'Passing 15 Mal!cbeshvan 5714

( ( Every neshama has its own passing, it became obvious to me that unique mission .... There are he had forgotten none of his learning those who are destined to [despite his advanced age and failing accomplish out in the open. My lot, health]. He was as fresh in what he had however, is to sit in my sn1all roon1, learned decades earlier as if he had and from there perform chessed for studied it just now. I know with cer- my fellow man:' tainty that it was in the merit of his The above statement by tzidkus, for he studied Torah lish­ Rabbi Avraham Yeshaya Kare- ma (for its own sake, without litz, known as "the Chazon Ish" any ulterior motive) and he (the name of his classic, possessed the 'forty-eight qual­ multi-volumed Talmudic ities [through which Torah is work), was reflective of his acquired]'" (see Avos 11,6). modest nature. Yes, he per­ formed countless acts of FOR ITS OWN SAKE lovingkindness for his fellow man, but 1nuch of his time he opening Beraisa of was devoted to kindness of the sixth chapter of another sort. As Rabbi TAvos2 enumerates the Chaim Volozhiner taught, rewards of one who studies the continued existence of the Torah lishma. In fact, that world is dependent on Torah Beraisa actually describes the being studied somewhere in the quintessential gadol be Yisroel. world at every moment of the " ... It [the Torah) makes him fit day and night' - and it was to this to be righteous, devout, fair and pursuit that the Chazon !sh devot­ faithful. ... From him people enjoy ed his life from an early age. counsel and wisdom .... The Torah Almost from the day in 1933 that he gives him kingship and authority, set foot onto the holy soil of Bretz Yis­ and analytical judgment... he becomes roel until his passing twenty years later, like a steady strengthening fountain [of he was an acknowledged leader of his Torah knowledge J and like an unceas­ people and poseik hador - a prime ing river:' authority of halacha of his time. From Brak as a city of Torah; was intimately On the day when he became a bar his humble dwelling in Bnei Brak, this involved in the founding of mikva'os, mitzva, the Chazon !sh resolved to unassu1ning giant, who never held any development of religious agricultural devote his life to the study of Torah lish­ official position, guided his generation. settlements and expansion of Torah n1a, his sole motive to acquire a knowl­ He rendered halachic decisions in all con1munities throughout Eretz Yisroel; edge of Hashem's commandments and areas of Torah; wrote seminal works of and was available to hundreds of men to strive to fulfill them. For the next forty halacha and hashkafa (Torah outlook); and women from all walks of life who years, he studied with unsurpassed dili­ spearheaded the development of Bnei sought his sage advice, encouragement gence and self-sacrifice, in seclusion and and blessings. as a virtual unknown. He submitted Rabbi Pinkehnan, a rebbe in Yeshiva Darchei lOrah, Far Rockaway, NY, is a frequent contrib­ How did he merit all this? Rabbi Yis­ chiddushei Torah anonymously for pub­ utor to these pages, including "Rav Pam's Spe­ roel Yaakov Kanievsky '>"Yl, better lication, signing them: "\lr>N (an cial Friend" (October '02). He is the author of known as the Steipler Gaon, was the 1 Ne.fesh HaChai1n 4:13 several biographies published by ArtScroll Meso­ Chazon Ish's brother-in-law, and his suc­ rah Publications, including The Chazon !sh: '11ie 2 The final chapter of Avos is actually a collection Life and Ideals of Rabbi Avrahan1 Yeshaya Kare­ cessor in many ways. He once remarked: of Beraisos (lit., outside), Tanaatic teachings that litz, ('89). "Shortly before his [the Chazon Is h's I were not selected for inclusion in the Mishna.

The Jewish Observer, November 2003 29 acronym for 'VW'cm:JN) from Kossowa:' relentless toil in Torah study, to the very Torah and chiddushim, for he merit­ Even his first volume of chiddushim, limits of his strength. He once remarked ed to draw, reveal and propound in all which made waves in the Lithuanian that when he wrote in Sefer Chazon lsh, areas of Torah. His being was entirely Torah world, was published anony­ "A copy of Rashba is not presently at sanctified for diligent toil in Torah, mously under the title Chazon (Vision hand;' this did not necessarily mean that without any personal inclinations or of) Ish. he did not have a Sefer HaRashba in his obligations .... He engaged in ameilus beTorah, possession at that time. It could have To our teacher {the Chazon Ish], all meant that at the time of that writing, areas of Torah were the same [i.e., many he simply did not have the physical ofhis writings pertain to factual areas KARKA IN ERETZ YISROEL strength to rise from his chair and walk of mitzva observance such as meas­ Call Rabbi Gavriel Beer for information to his bookcase to take the sefer. urements and computations, and on obtaining cemetery plots in Beth Shemesh and other locations in Israel. In his eulogy of the Chazon !sh, which are not conducive for pro­ Rabbi Aharon Kotler '>"'~!said: pounding dazzling chiddushim ]. For all 0 l l-972-2-656-9427 He enriched the generation with his his toil in Torah was simply to know it le'amita (in its quintessential truth). When laboring in any topic, he plumbed the matter to the full extent of his capabilities.3

Important Notice to Holocaust Survivors and Their Heirs HIS LIGHT IS REVEALED he Chazon !sh might have Claims Filing Deadline Extended re1nained unknown his entire life, to December 31, 2003 Thad Providence not arranged that he should relocate to Vilna, where If you are a Holocaust survivor or the heir of a Holocaust victim, you may he developed a relationship with the have a legitimate unpaid Holocaust era insurance claim. leaders of Lithuanian Jewry - Rabbi Chaim Ozer Grodzensky (the Rav of You can file a claim through a Claims Resolution Process set up by the Vilna) and the Chofetz Chaim, who International Commission on Holocaust Era Insurance Claims often visited Vilna to meet with Reb (ICHEIC). The commission consists of representatives of United Slates Chaim Ozer on Kial matters. These insurance regulators, five European insurance companies and their luminaries came to appreciate not only subsidiaries, the State of Israel, worldwide Jewish and Holocaust the Chazon's Ish's genius and piety, but survivor organizations and European regulators as Observers. also his proficiency as a poseik and his astuteness in communal matters, and ICHEIC has managed an extensive research effort to identify potential they prevailed upon him to attend policyholders. In total, over 470.000 names have been published meetings of rabbanim and communal representing more than 500.000 insurance policies . The list will be leaders. updated with new names in the coming weeks. However, these lists are At one such meeting, the Chofetz unlikely to include all the names of Holocaust victims who had insurance Chaim bemoaned the generation's policies during the relevant period. People should not be discouraged weakened spiritual plight, and he from filing claims simply because their name or the names of family declared that the hour demanded every­ members do not appear on any published lists. Anyone who believes he one's casting aside feelings of modesty or she has a valid life, education or dowry policy is encouraged to present to act for the sake of Kial Yisroel. He con­ the claim to ICHEIC. cluded, "Every nistar(hidden personage) is obligated to reveal himself!" The opportunity exists for you to receive payment if you submit a claim Reb Chaim Ozer, who was sitting at before DECEMBER 31,2003. the Chofetz Chaim's side, turned him­ The Claims Resolution Process is a free service that provides individuals self completely around to face the Cha­ with a central source for information on, investigation into, and payment zon !sh and asked, "To whom do these of these outstanding policies. If you or someone you know may be words apply if not you?" The Chofetz eligible visit the website www.icheic.org or call: Chaim then rested his gaze on the Cha­ zon !sh and added, "Even I - do you 3 Mish~·;;;-;R~v Aharon:-M~ainari111 V'Si~h:ls Mus­ 800.957.3203 sar, VoL Ill.

30 The Jewish Observer, November 2003 hear? - even I could develop into a gaon acqu1s1t1on, a given item can be looking forward to spending the Seder were I to cast aside the yoke of com­ acquired [only] through its designated with family. The Chazon !sh responded, munal responsibilities and dwell solely kinyan and no other, so it is with "A great mitzva has come your way. One within the walls of the beis mid rash!" 'I'orah .. .. To attempt to acquire Torah cannot imagine the pain those girls will After that incident, the Chazon !sh without these qualities ... accomplishes suffer if they will have to conduct a Seder often took the initiative in involving nothing. This applies to all the quali­ by themselves. If you will not join them, himself with communal issues. He ties listed, even those that seem to have I will!" The young couple heeded the Cha­ worked behind the scenes, avoiding any no direct connection to Torah know[­ zon Ish's request. sort of recognition or official position. edge.4 One Yam Tov, he was walking in Bnei He wanted desperately to remain Below are a few of the forty-eight Brak when he chanced upon a man weep­ unknown. qualities, and illustrations of how the ing openly. The man explained that he In the summer of I 933, his aspiration Chazon !sh embodied them: was ager tzeddek, and he felt that others to settle in Bretz Yisroel was realized. Reb looked down upon him and treated him Chaim Ozer wrote to the rabbinic lead­ A Good Heart like an outcast. ership in the Holy Land, informing them The Chazon !sh asked the man to sing of the Chazon Ish's impending arrival. One Erev Pesach, the Chazon !sh asked a niggun, and as he sang, the Chazon !sh "My dear friend, the outstanding gaon, a young married man to conduct a Seder danced in front of him as one would is on his way to you. For us, it is a great for a group of girls who had been before a bride and groom. The man's spir­ loss. Bretz Yisroel, however) will reap orphaned in the Holocaust. The young its were revived. great benefits from this." man replied that he and his wife were 4 Mishnas R' Aharon, Vol. I, p. 62. From then on, when questions were sent from Bretz Yisroel to Reb Chaim Ozer or his illustrious brother-in-law, Rabbi Elchonon Wasserman, they would suggest that the Chazon !sh be consulted. Within a relatively short time, he was recognized as a quiet but very effective leader of the Land's grow­ ing Torah community. ELI SCHOSTAK, C.S.W.

THE FORTY-EIGHT QUALITIES Children, Adolescents, Adults School Issues • Parent - Child Conflict • r;;elationsbips s 1nentioned above, the Steipler stated that the Chazon !sh pos­ Brooklyn, New York 917-930-5793 Limited Evening Hours A sessed "the forty-eight quali­ ties." He was referring to another Beraisa in the sixth chapter of Avos which lists forty-eight qualities that the student of Torah must develop within himself to truly attain bis potential in Torah study .e 6rowing Jewish Community and make it part of his very essence. The Complete Family Resources Beraisa refers to these qualities as •Healthy Job Market kinyanim, literally translated as methods •Affordable Housing of acquisition, a tenn usually associat­ •Nurtur'1ng Community ed with the mechanism through which •Learning Opportunities the halacha makes it possible for one to •Shomer Shabbos Medical Residencies acquire a given item. •Community Activities Rabbi Aharon Kotler wrote: It is well known that Rabbi Chaim Total Torah Environment Volozhiner taught: one's attainment of •Cheder •Bois Yakov •Yeshiva Gedola •Kolle! Torah knowledge is in exact proportion • Mikveh • Eruv to his prior efforts in developing the •Wisconsin School Tuition Vouchers forty-eight qualities through which for Qualifying Families Torah is acquired. This means that just as with the Torah's monetary laws of The Torah Community of Rabbi Michel Twerski invites your interest 1-800-226-3129

The Jewish Observer, November 2003 31 Happy With One's Lot Purity, Limited Physical Pleasure formance in mitzvos relating to G-d alone, though his middos are wanting From the time that he arrived in Eretz He once remarked that he never felt and he is deficient in his dealings with Yisroe~ the Chazon Ish subsisted on the a need for food. He relied on those who others. meager income from the sale of his prepared his food to decide when and One who sees to the core ofthis mat­ sefarim. His apartment had the very what he should eat. ter perceives the hollowness of this barest of furnishings. He refused many Once when his meal was interrupted belief A Jew who has not refined his offers of assistance from grateful visitors by visitors a number of times, he said that middos ... is in the clutches of his evil who benefited from his counsel, concern apparently he was better off not eating at inclination. As such, it is inconceivable and blessings. that time, and he put the food aside. It was that he will be wholesome in matters He would discourage individuals later discovered that the food had not been between man and G-d. The fact that he from purchasing his sefarim if he felt that properly tithed (as required of produce fulfills these mitzvos in grand fashion the person would not make use ofthe sefer. grown in Eretz Yisroel). His sister, Reb­ is only because their observance does "I want buyers who are bnei Torah, not betzin Miriam Kanievsky, testified that not run counter to his negative traits. benefactors who seek roundabout ways to similar incidents occurred many times. When such conflict does occur, howev­ support me. This is not the proper way." He once remarked, "I wish to learn er, his yiras Shamayim will not be Torah lishma, therefore I am extremely enough to weather the storm.5 To Love Hashem careful as to what enters my mouth." HIS POWERFUL FAITH His love ofHashem was evident in his Sharing Another's Burden self-sacrifice for a mitzva. muna, faith in Hashem, was Shortly before Succos during the First A few days before his passing, when he deeply ingrained in the Chazon World War, he found himself in a town was alarmingly weak, his confidants EIsh's soul from his early youth. He where there was not one set of arba min­ attempted to turn away those who came wrote that already in his youth he had nim (lulav, esrog, etc.) Travel was fraught to his door seeking his help. They asked evaluated the circumstances of his life with danger, but this did not stop the Cha­ him, "How can one accept visitors under through the lens of the Thirteen Prin­ zon Ish from heading/or Minsk, where he such conditions?" to which he replied, ciples of Faith as formulated by Ram­ succeeded in procuring the species. When "How can I turn away those who come bam. He added that his constant aware­ someone asked him why he had gone to to me with broken hearts?" ness of these principles infused him with such lengths when the halacha clearly It is noteworthy that in his Emuna a boundless love of Torah. freed him of his obligation, he replied, "If U'Vitachon, the Chazon !sh explains that His confidant, Rabbi Shlomo Kohen, you found yourself without matza before character refinement impacts not only wrote: Pesach, would you resign yourself to not on one's success in 1brah study, but on "And a tzaddik lives by his faith" eating on Yorn Tov?" Mitzvos are food for his fulfillment of all mitzvos bein adam ( Chavakuk 2,4 ). Our master's strength the neshama, and the Chazon Ish could laMakom (between man and Hashem): and power were rooted in his pure not live without them. . .. There is a misconception that a person can be wholesome in his per- 5 Chazon Ish, E111una U'Vitachon 4:5. Not just a cheese, a tradition... Haolam, the most trusted name in Cholov Yisroel Kosher Cheese. A reputation earned through 25 years of scrupulous devotion to quality and kashruth. With 12 delicious varieties. Haolam, a tradition you·11 enjoy keeping.

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32 The Jewish Observer, November 2003 emuna. This man was weak and afflict­ operate, and wrote the text of a halachic The Chazon lsh's knowledge of med­ ed with serious illnesses and condi­ document that was the basis for the icine and his counsel in health-related tions -whence did he draw such pow­ stores' functioning within the parame­ matters was truly incredible. He was as erful determination and decisiveness? ters of halacha. familiar with the human anatomy and From where did he acquire the broad He rarely participated in public its remedies as any professor of medi­ shoulders needed to bear the burden gatherings. In 1945, however, he par­ cine, and he routinely rendered medical of thousands of communal and per­ ticipated in a gathering held at Bnei decisions in cases where the patient's life sonal matters, to involve himself with Brak's Ponovezher Yeshiva for the ben­ hung in the balance. all sorts of dilemmas, as if the respon­ efit of Shemitta-observant farmers. The His nephew, the late Rabbi She­ sibility for the entire generation rest­ Ponovezher Rav implored the Chazon maryahu Karelitz of Brooklyn, lived with ed upon him alone? Not once did he !sh to address the assemblage and he the Cbazon !sh in Bnei Brak for a num­ seek to remove himself from a prob­ obliged with three words: mir.i>rnr.i01v ber of years. He testified that the Cha­ lem or ease his load .... '>~.All my limbs will say ("Hashem, who zon !sh never read medical books of any Without a doubt, it was his pure is like You?"] (Tehillim 35:10). sort; all his knowledge came from emuna that enabled him to attain what With every fiber of his being, a Jew Torah. Rabbi Karelitz recalled the fol­ he did. It was this that uplifted him to must sing Hashem's praises. The Cha­ lowing incident: his sublime level of service of Hashem. zon !sh was saying that the farmers had After undergoing major surgery, a boy accomplished this, by demonstrating did not regain consciousness for some SHEMITTA their firm en1una and bitachon that time. The doctor said that if twenty-four Hashem would not forsake them as their hours would elapse without the patient's n area where the Chazon lsh's fields lay fallow. regaining consciousness, all hope would faith found great expression and be lost. After hearing all the details of the A influence was Shemitta obser­ ALL-ENCOMPASSING TORAH case, the Chazon !sh declared that the doc­ vance. Almost from the time that he tor's ominous prognosis would be true only arrived in Bretz Yisroel, four years before ((Delve in it [the Torah] and if a seventy-two hour period of uncon­ Shemitta of 5698 (1938), he was engaged continue to delve in it, for sciousness would pass. in monumental efforts to restore this everything is in it" (Avos The boy awoke after twenty-four n1itzva to its original glory. 5:26). All the world's true wisdoms are hours, but before seventy-two hours. In In 1937, he published Sefer Chazon hidden in the Torah, the "blueprint" of response to someone's inquiry, the Cha­ !sh on the laws of Shemitta, and in it he the world. But this can be perceived only zon !sh explained, "I knew it from a Mish­ elucidated his firm opposition to sell­ by the most exalted tzaddikim, who have na in Maseches Oholos." No one but the ing land in Bretz Yisroel to non-Jews as refined their spiritual vision through a Chazon lsh saw any connection between a means of circumventing Shemitta lifetime dedicated to service of Hashem that Mishna and medicine. requirements. At the sa1ne time, he and especially to relentless toiling in In an interview with biographer directed the legendary Reb Yaakov Hal­ Torah. Rabbi Aharon Sorasky, a renowned pren of Bnei Brak to found the Keren HaShemitta fund to raise money for farmers who would let their land lie fal­ G EFEN IP _...1. low during the Shemitta year. And he inspired religious farmers to co1nmit FI~&.Cf.AL ... themselves to faithful observance of this Registered Mortgage Broken ..... 1nitzva. NYS Dept. of Banking •• In succeeding Shemitta years, the Corporate Headquarters: 2\64 V>etoiy Blv~ _•Slate" Island. NY 10314 Chazon !sh continued to seek every Phone 718-983-9272 • 914-MORTGAGE 973-MORTGAGE • 212-983-1000 means for spreading and facilitating Loans ,manged through Jrd party providers observance of Shemitta. During Shemit­ ta of 5705 (1945) and 5712 (1952), it became extremely difficult to procure Arab and foreign-grown produce for consumption. The Chawn Ish conceived and implemented the idea of opening For careful attention to your stores in every community that would market Shemitta-grown produce in a individual needs, call us today! halachically acceptable way. He detailed (845) 354-8445 instructions on how the stores would

---""------"----·--"-"--"--··--"--"----···--""----"----·-----"----···----·- The Jewish Observer, November 2003 33 Israeli neurosurgeon, Doctor Hadran always new problems to resolve. Day molding a Torah stance toward the sec­ Askenazi, related: after day, I am faced with decisions ularist government and its policies, for "I was always profoundly impressed upon which a patient's future hinges. his and future generations. by the Chazon Ish's inquiries. They It is n1any years since the Chazon Ish's The very creation of the State caused revealed a clarity of mind, a penetrat­ death; yet, when faced with difficulties, a wave of confusion among religious ing insight into the human anatomy I still often think: ifonly I could discuss Jews. How was a Jew faithful to Torah and its cures. Brain surgery was often this with the Chazon Ish ... .'' to understand this earth-shattering our topic of discussion. His questions event? The Chazon Ish's opinion was were always on the mark and proper­ THE STATE unequivocal: "We are not witnessing the ly formulated. He attacked the heart of as'chalta dege'ula (beginnings of the the matter, shedding new light on the he Chazon !sh Jived for five years Redemption), but the conclusion of the situation - causing me, in many following the founding of the galus." On another occasion he instances, to alter my opinion. TState of Israel in 1948. His pres­ remarked, "Perhaps this [the State] is the "In the world of medicine, there are ence during that period was crucial in final test before Moshiach." Torah education was among a number of major issues in the State's early years. 6 The Chazon !sh was not Subscribe or gi,ve a gi,ft of opposed to yeshivas accepting gov­ ernment funding - as long as the gov­ ernment had absolutely no say in for­ The Jewish Observer mulating school policies. But this could only happen if the religious schools would not rely solely on gov­ and $ave! ernment money. Thus, the Chinuch Atzmai (lit., Autonomous Education) WHY NOT GIVE OR GET A PRESENT school system came into being and THAT WILL LAST AN ENTIRE YEAR? developed imto an ever-growing, highly successful network of yeshivos Subs('ribe, or give a gift at these reduced prices and Bais Yaakovs. To Rabbi Aharon and The Jewish Observer- filled with the views Kotler, founding Nasi (President) of of leading Torah thinkers on cu1Tent issues- will be Chinnch Atzmai, the Chazon !sh delivered each month, rlireetly to your door. remarked, "Without Chinuch Atz1nai, 'The longer you suhsc1ibe for, the larger your savings. it would be impossible to live in the Land." Of course, this offer is unconditionally guaranteed; you n1ay cancel at any tin1e and receive a refund for BEN GURION'S VISIT all undelivered copies. n the fall of 1952, Prime Minister So order today, and the very next issue will be on David Ben Gurion asked to visit the its ¥.'ay to you as soon as possible. I Chazon !sh at his home in Bnei Brak. Ben Gurion was well aware of the Cha­ ------zon Ish's leadership role within the Torah 0 YES, I want to take advantage of this nioney saving offer! Entel' 1ny order as foUows: community, and he thought that his visit 0 SELF 0 GIFT Narnt- would achieve a better relationship rSA •m~mE 0~1· \'SA AI' ddhw_i. va students, and exemption for religious women Fxpiralion Dab·: (month/y,.ar) ··----- ~ouis;d,-. U.S.A. pri<-.-. ro•fl,-.,·h Sl2 .-.xlrn pet Y""' to d.-.fra: air ,h;ppinl( fron1 compulsory national service. The Chazon <'<>>ls- Forf'il(n po)nicn! nm;t be mad<· m l'.S. dollure. ~ither b1 d1f'rl ~ignaluw __,__ .... ____ drawn nn a hank in tlw l 1.S.A. or by HS.4 or '.ll.1~1.-rC;inl Ish was deeply involved in resolving these issues, particularly the last one, until his final day.

34 The Jewish Observer, November 2003 no room for compromise on any of forever. Who will replace his countless and raised the sights of an entire gen­ the issues affecting Torah life. In a acts of charity? At the funeral, one eration. well-known exchange, Ben Gurion yeshiva administrator wept, saying that It is incumbent upon us all to strive asked, "The majority of our country's without the Chazon Ish he sees no way to emulate his ways in at )east some people are irreligious. You are in the to maintain his institution. The Cha­ small way. May his merit shield us minority. Who should conform to zon Ish)s deeds were so concealed that from Above, just as it did during his whon1?" even those closest to him were often years on this world. May Hashem have The Chazon !sh replied by citing the unaware of them. mercy on the remnants of our nation Talmudic law (Sanhedrin 32b) that Rabbi Chaim Volozhiner once and may we soon merit the Redemp­ when two ships, one laden with cargo compared his rebbe, the Vilna Gaon, tion, Amein. • and the other completely empty, travel to the Rishonim who lived centuries towards each other down a strait scarce­ earlier. Rabbi Elchonon Wasserman ly wide enough for one, the empty ship asked the Chofetz Chaim why Heav­ must back up and allow for the full one en decreed that a soul such as the to pass. The Chazon !sh continued, "Our Gaon's should descend to a generations ship is laden with three thousand years in which it did not belong. The .. __ ._,..,. of history, heritage and tradition. Yours, Chofetz Chaim explained as follows: 2i..""Z:'fr"'Zl.='"'-=-_,,,_.,._ _, ...... - ....._ -­ ...... ___ __ ., ___ ,__,,,_ however, is empty, devoid of any real In every generation, the presence of substance. Confrontations are Torah leaders serves to impede that inevitable. Who, then, should step back generation's spiritual decline. --<:.-- .. -.-..-. ... - ..a:!...=E'"fi5Ei..:.EL=$?S;$,~~-=--===1.:: .. for whom?" In certain generations, however, the Just as his conden1nation of secular­ risks of spiritua1 decadence are greater g~~==-~.t=:=r.:-..... - ist Zionis1n was total, so was his Jove and than usual. Heaven may then deem it compassion for the individual who necessary to send to this world a soul . had been led astray. In his writings, the that actually belongs to an earlier, Chazon !sh clearly differentiates more sublime period. Such a soul can between secularism as a moven1ent single-handedly uplift an entire gen­

and as a way of life for the tinok shen­ eration and raise its spiritual heights. ":::.....=.1,,j_M_M 1.~-M-M-__ .. O

ishba, the Jew whose environn1ent has Such was the Chazon !sh. A soul -- r..1- --..- caused him to reject Torah. Of our way­ that belonged to an earlier generation .___ ...... _.. ward brethren, he writes, "It is incum­ was sent to preserve Torah life in our bent upon us to draw them to us with time. He planted the seeds of Torah bonds of love, so that the light of truth throughout the Holy Land, combated will illuminate their ways to whatever ignorance and secularism, illuminat­ degree possible:'' ed the world with his Torah wisdom, We conclude with a quote from the Chazon Ish's brother-in-law, Rabbi Shmuel Greineman 7"~t: The Chafetz Chaim would say that the answer to every problem lies in Torah. However, one must know where in Torah to find a given answer and then approach the matter with a pure Torah outlook, which is absolute­ A revolution: quiet, ly free of any foreign attitudes or per­ sonal interest .... It is for this reason goal-oriented, that so many, including scores of respectful. roshei yeshiva, sought the Charon Ish's counsel. Always, they came away with But, still ... a revolution. the definitive Torah viewpoint. He sought to conceal his awesome ways. He revealed an inch and con­ cealed two. So much remains hidden

The Jewish Observer, November 2003 35 POST YoM Tov REFLECTIONS Rabbi Aryeh Zev Ginzberg

A MESSAGE FOR THE NEWYEAR as other Gedolei Yisroel for their thoughts As I exited the shiva house, my cell on what the message should be. phone rang. It was one of my congre­ uring the Rosh Hashana season, gants from my new community calling every G-d-fearing Jew's mind TWO CONVERSATIONS with news that he and his wife just had Dwas preoccupied with thoughts a baby girl. of introspection and teshuva. The role of hen, two innocuous conversations After the "Maze/ Tov" was fully a Rav is to articulate appropriate mes­ with baalei battim within minutes expressed, the new father had several sages to the men and women in his Tof each other underscored for me queries regarding choice of a name, charge. And so each year, in the weeks what this year's Rosh Hashana message when to give that name, and so on. After and days before the Yamim Noraim, I, as should be. I had officiated at the levaya several moments on the phone, I was well as many of my colleagues, discuss, (funeral) of a congregant from my old told that the new mother also had a debate and try to analyze what the theme community. After the burial, I returned question. She asked, "Rabbi, I was told of this year's drasha should be. Most of with the aveilim to the shiva house to that a person should not leave the house the Rabbanim who shared their thoughts deal with any questions that they might until she goes to shul after giving birth. with me agonized over the difficult year have. After I explained some of the rel­ Do I have to conform with that?" that just ended, and they were searching evant laws of shiva, one of the mourn­ I responded that it should be done, for the right words of chizuk ( encour­ ers began to question me regarding the but asked why this was on her mind only agement) to share with others. While we date of the yahrzeit, and the ending of hours after giving birth to her first child. all desperately need chizuk, I felt that the twelve-month mourning period. A She responded, "But Rabbi, I just need chizuk alone would just not be enough. little puzzled, I asked him why he to know when things will get back to I approached my own revered Rebbe, needed to know at this time, when we normal." Rabbi Henoch Leibowitz N .. """'1, as well had just completed the burial. He Hearing the same phrase twice with­ Rabbi Ginzberg, founding Rav of Ohr Moshe responded matter-of-factly, "Rabbi, I just in minutes from two people dealing with Torah Institute in Hillcrest, NY, is currently Rav want to know when things are going to opposite ends of the life cycle, I knew of the Chofetz Chaim Torah Center of get back to normal." that I had my message for this Yorn Tov Cedarhurst (Long Island), New York. He is a fre­ The significance of that statement did season. quent contributor to JO, most recently with "The Sacrifice of Leadership" (June '03 ). not register with me until minutes later. After such a painful year of tragedies

36 The Jewish Observer, November 2003 in Eretz Yisroel, of terrible accidents here, propriate. Chazal say (Beraclws 32a) that of so many people in the community the "gates of tears" are never closed. CHEVRA OSEH CHESED without a source of parnassa (incon1e), Rabhi Sherer pointed out that while they OF AGUDATH ISRAEL the message is that things cannot go back might never close, they are locked shut to normal! for anyone who sheds copious tears BURIAL PLOTS The stream of events should have when he could be taking action instead. IN ERETZ YISROEL changed us, should have made us dif­ "We do not have the luxury today of Interment in a Shomer Shabbos Beis ferent. We are not the san1e, and we can­ hand-wringing and despair." Rather, Olam near Beis Shemesh not return to where we were before all every man, woman, and child should this started. We cannot go back to when assume some type of action, whether in Please pbo_ne or write to: things were just plain normal. the form of a mitzva, a chessed, or an Chevra Oseh Chesed of Agudath Israel As the Midrash comments, when­ extra tefilla. 42 Broadway, New Yorh, N~ ID004 ever an episode in the Torah begins "fhese, too, are not normal times, and (212) 797-9000 with the word, "Vayeishev - And he we cannot permit things to continue in dwelt;' it is a sign of foreboding. Thus, the normal fashion. One young woman when the Parsha in Bereishis begins commented to me on Rosh Hashana that with" Vayeishev Yaakov," it spells trou­ this year, for the first time in her life, ble. Why is that so? when hearing the chazzan sing the The Maharal (in Gevuros Hashem) powerful tefilla of "Unesaneh Toke{,' explains that when a Jew sits and detailing all the possibilities of Divine re1nains in one place, he invites calami­ judgment - life or death, tranquility or ty. Jews are not made to sit still. A Jews anxiety, wealth or poverty, she shed tears has to be constantly growing, adapting, and could not regain her composure for Free Sample and changing. After a year like the one several moments. She was disturbed by that we just had, each and every one of it, and asked me what I thought it meant. Yeshiva Fund us has to be changed - as individuals, I shared with her the words of the Ari Box 82, Staten Island, NY 10309 and as a tzibbur. And more important, z"l, that "one who does not shed at least we cannot go back. Things in Kial Yis­ a few tears during the period of the roel are not normal, and therefore our Asseres Yemei Teshuva possesses a flawed lives cannot be normal, either. soul:' He adds, "When one suddenly find hin1self aroused to tears during these WHERE DO WE START? days, it is a sign that his soul is being judged in the heavenly court above, and f we are called upon to change our­ in anticipation and trepidation of the selves, where do we start? With so judgment, he is overwhelmed by tears:' I many areas of the collective soul of I explained to her that according to the (718) 972-4003 Kial Yisroel in need of mending, where Ari z"l, that moment of tears was her do we begin? The first step is to fully time of judgment, and that no doubt, :i-~.,~­ understand that no matter how difficult due to those tears, she would be judged .,b::itv the situation, we cannot afford to give favorably for the coming year. in to despair. Among the many talents possessed STILL TIME FOR TEARS by Rabbi Moshe Sherer 7-,,1, the late unforgettable leader of Agudath Israel he Ari z"I's words should con­ of America, was his extreme insight­ tinue to stir us and guide us. fulness. I recall how years ago, after the TMany of us are perhaps a bit too passing of several Gedolei Yisroel in complacent, too set in our ways to 1nake close succession, there was a pervasive any changes in our daily lives, even in sense of loss and desperation in the air. the slightest fashion. But we can all shed If I called Rabbi Sherer, and suggested tears. they are hard to come by, just •· ··•···· ·' .... )fot ii!I"&Jiegt/Juffis .... that a gathering be convened to give think of Nava Appelbaum ·pn whose fortheOrthodoxjewish·i;ol!llnurili)r. n1uch-needed chizuk to the communi­ life was snuffed out by a suicide bomber Rablfinical riferenCIJSaoai1able ty at large. on the eve of her wedding; or think of He responded that feelings of doom Mrs. Goldie Taubenfeld , .. ,n, mother of Home: (718} 338-1765 and despair are misplaced and inap- 13 children from New Square murdered P er: (917);186-5655

The Jewish Observer, November 2003 37 in the attack on the Kosel bus several that special magical night of Selichos Eastern Europe, whose youthful mem­ weeks ago. when, Chazal tell us, Hakadosh Baruch ories are filled with Church-led And if all of that still does not bring Hu sits and is metzapeh (waits with pogroms against the Jewish populace, us to shed a tear during this "post-sea­ anticipation) for Bnei Yisroel to turn to particularly during the Jewish holiday son of tears," then join me in shedding Him with those special words of Selichos season. It has only to do with taking the a tear for an event that took place in our that were formulated by Moshe opportune moment of Selichos, reserved community last month, on Selichos Rabbeinu himself. for thousands of years for introspective night. A local Five Towns synagogue Most shuls have the minhagto begin prayers and tefilla, and instead feeding invited a special guest speaker to start Selichos after chatzos (midnight), for the the people a completely misguided this year's Selichos service - the most Zahar says that it is the most opportune form of inspiration. Reverend William F. Murphy, Bishop of time for such an important tefilla. It is In an interview with a local secular Rockville Center. Remember: this was an "Eis ratzon - Hour of Divine newspaper, the host of the evening's ses­ Response" - and despite the lateness, we sion was asked by the reporter about HAT PLUS all go, so we can usher in the High Holy possible backlash from "some religious Days season with a powerful tefilla at just Jews" who might be upset by a bishop the right moment. What a disservice to delivering a high holiday sermon at a so many good Jews who had come to synagogue. He responded that he was Your #1 Stop such a service for inspiration, and not at all concerned. What I would share for instead were treated to words of" teshu­ with him is that he need not be con­ Quality Hats va" from a Catholic bishop! cerned about any backlash, or public

WE ALSO ORY CLEAN LARGEST SELECTION This has nothing to do with the issue protest, which would be inappropriate. & RESHAPE HATS OF CHOSONIM TIES IN of Judeo-Christian theological dia­ I had hoped, however, that he would (All work rJone on premises} BROOKLYN logue, which has long been prohibited have been concerned should he have 1368 Coney Island Avenue by our Gedolim. It also has nothing to heard that "some Jews" were brought to (718) 377-5050 do with the sensitivities of our elder tears at the misuse of such an oppor­ Major credit cards accepted • We ship UPS brothers and sisters from shtetlach in tune time as Selichos night for such a forum. Tears for the many Jews who r.------~ were not given the opportunity to experience a true Selichos moment ARE You MOVING? that captures the essence of what a Yid­ IS YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS PRINTED dishe tefilla is all about. Rabbi Shimon Schwab ';··~r shared INCORRECTLY ON THE JO MAILING LABEL? a painful story with me years ago. On We need your help to ensure proper delivery of the Jewish Observer to your home. a visit to London, Rabbi Schwab was Please attach current mailing label in the space below, or print clearly your address and waiting at a bus stop in front ofa large computer processing numbers that are printed above your name on the address label. church. An elderly woman exited the church and stood next to him at the bus stop. Noticing the large Magen David Affix old label here around her neck, he asked her ifshe was Jewish. She responded, "Yes, I am. And you are probably wondering why I just came out of a church." Name~------Rabbi Schwab said, "Yes, I was New Address wondering just that." She explained, "Rabbi, for years and City, years I regularly went to a synagogue State, ______Zip to pray, but then I decided to go to a church, because there, when I pray, I Date Effective ------­ know someone (a priest) is really lis­ Send address The Jewish Observer tening to me!" changes to: Change of Address Rabbi Schwab began to cry, and said, 42 Broadway, 14th Floor, New York, NY 10004 "Someone listening to you? Why, he is Pll!>ase allow 4-6 weeks for all changes to be reflected on your mailing label. We will not mere flesh and blood, while in a shul, be responsible for back issues missed unless you notify us 6 weeks prior to your move. .J L ------none other than the Ribbono she! Olam 38 The Jewish Observer, November 2003 Himself listens to your every word!" have left is our teftllos and our tears. We To that, rabbinical host, I cry: Haka­ do not need bishops nor "nights of DVIR dosh Baruch Hu - He is metzapeh, He dialogue." All we need is what our BEN CHANA DEVORAH sits and waits for that moment when we forefather have taught us through their -update begin Selichos and you bring a bishop example, their commitment, and with Remember him? The yeshiva bochur to tell us how to do teshuva! Is this not their blood, that" ein lanu l'hisha' ein ella who was injured in a terror blast. With reason enough for all of us to sit and cry al Avinu shebashamayim (we have thanks to Hashem, Dvlr's recovery has our hearts out until there are no more nothing to rely on other than our teft/­ been nothing short of remarkable. tears left? los to our Father in heaven).'' Thank you to all who have davenedfor These are not normal times, and they him. His treatment is by no means over, NOW THATIT'S OVER ... require of us not to revert to our "nor­ however. He recently underwent mal lives.'' Only through our collective major surgery, and more ls on the hori­ zon. If you are still able to daven. for have said farewell to the entire efforts, tears, and teftllos will we be him, among all the yiddishe victims estival season with the cele­ zocheh to join together in the year ahead terror and other cholei Yisrae/, your W:bration of Simchas Torah, and with one heart and one mind in greet­ efforts will be appreciated. we are now well into the mid-autun1n ing Moshiach Tzidkeinu. • - Dvir's famlly month of Cheshvan. But before reverting to our old routines, we should take stock: Things are truly not back to normal. And until they are, we cannot go back to being normal, either. We need to be different. Different in how we speak, different in how we act, in how we do mitzvos, and most important, in how we daven. On Rosh Hashana in 1942, in the Warsaw Ghetto (several months before the final liquidation ofthe Ghetto), only a few Jews remained. Amongst them was one of the great Gaonim of the time, Rabbi Menachem Ziemba i~. A small group was organized in one ofthe remaining bunkers, so Reb Menachem could daven with a minyan. Towards the end of the davening, a student of Rabbi Ziemba approached him and asked, "Rebbe, what do you think the ~rience the joy coming year will be like?" Rabbi Ziemba replied, "One thing I can guarantee you is that next year of learning a blatt xi~l. will be a better one than the year that just ended." Discover your true riini:l. The student persisted, "But Rebbe, how do you know?" Experience the joy of developing your true talents. Experience the joy of learning at the Rabbi Ziemba is rumored to have highest level. Experience the warm personal attention of exceptionally dedicated replied, "How do I know? It's simple. Rabbelm. Experience an education etched in excellence. Experience the joy of success. There are no longer three and a half million fews in Poland for the Nazis to kill next year, so it has to be a better one Limited applications still available for this year than the last one!" We have just completed a most dif­ ficult year for Kial Yisroel. We would like ,~,i' .1'( ni.l'(!lli n:i'tu' to say with clarity that it will be a bet­ YESHIVAS TIFERES ACADEMY HIGH SCHOOL ter year than the last one, but do we real­ 1960 Schenectady Avenue • Brooklyn, NY • 718-252-0801 ly know? It could be more of the same, Rabbi Moshe Aronov, Dean • Rabbi Chaim Pechter; Menahel Ruclmi • Rabbi Heshy Gissinger, Principal, General Studies or maybe even, chas v'shalom ... ! All we R' BJnyomin Eisenman, '"'f iivrw • R' Ben Tzion Versicherter, 'l .,,:inw • R' EliyohuArzoln, ·~ 'llll''IU • R' Naftali Raltzik, ·x iw1w

The Jewish Observer, November 2003 39 I SECOND Avi Menashe 'LOOKS nswerin

n this land of unlimited personal a steady link with the general public to The tally was duly recorded, the freedom, the invasion of our col­ keep themselves financially viable. Let us coins swept into the leather bag, and the I lective privacy by telemarketers has take a moment to consider what options parting ritual began. With a solemn inspired a backlash of total annoyance. for fundraising are available for our insti­ handshake for Poppa and a stream of Finally, in response to public outcry, leg­ tutions and what severing the telephone blessings for Mama, the "Pushka Man" islation has been enacted making it ille­ link will mean to them ... and us. bid farewell and made his way to the gal for a telemarketer to call anyone next house on his list. whose name appears on the special "Do A Fundraising Perspective Eventually, the meager sums collect­ Not Call" registry. ed and long hours of work ate away at Within a month and a half of its erhaps while growing up, some the cost-effectiveness of this system and availability, more than fifty million decades ago, you lived in one of rendered it obsolete. homes had joined the list and telemar­ Pthe major Jewish population cen­ keting industry analysts predict that ters. If so, you might recall the follow­ Tzeddaka Value most of the nation will sign on before ing scenario. -Are We Getting Bang For Our Buck? too long. It would seem that no longer It is evening at your house and a will you be disturbed during dinner by knock on the door heralds the arrival oday's high cost of living calls for cable TV salespeople or be interrupted ofan honored visitor. His white beard methods of fundraising that will from learning with your children to hear and black attire underscore the image Tproduce substantially more a pitch extolling the praises of yet anoth­ of the Orthodox Jewish institution he money per man-hour than pushka col­ er long-distance telephone carrier. represents. lections. Professionalism and graphics Forgotten amidst the celebration of He was the "Pushka Man" and his are the hallmark of the new tzeddaka our newfound freedom is the fact that bi-annual appearance was as much a world of today. We have witnessed a charities will still be allowed to make harbinger of the passing seasons as the giant leap in sophistication and a con­ telephone solicitations. One can only first snow ofwinter or the blooming of current skyrocketing of fundraising imagine the reception these legitimate the crocuses in Spring. expenses. The question of how that telemarketers will be receiving now that Clearly in awe of her distinguished money is being spent is more relevant the public has become so militantly pro­ guest, Mama would quickly retrieve the than ever and it behooves us all to tective of their privacy. pushka from its special spot. On the demand greater respect for our tzedda­ We all know that many of our Mos­ way back to the dining room a few ka dollar. dos Torah V'Chessed rely on maintaining more pennies would be hastily added Obviously, in every fund raising

-~-~------~-~ as the "Pushka Man," squinting effort, the individuals and mosdos Avi Menashe is the nom-de-plume of the direc- through thick lenses, surveyed his involved have done their arithmetic. It's tor of one of the leading tzeddaka organizations in An1erica. His byline appears often in the Amer­ record book for the total amount worth it for them. But again, the ques­ ican Yated Nc'e111a11. retrieved when he visited last. tion remains; is it worth it for us?

----··-~------40 The Jewish Observer, NOvember 2003 The Telemarketing Solution if you just wish to say No, no one is stop­ not allow them to churn out reminder ping you and it will have cost the organ­ statements needlessly. If a caller comes he fact is that we are rarely self­ ization less than a dollar to ascertain that across as a bit too aggressive, let the motivated to support an institu­ you are not a candidate. No mail, no organization know. They cannot correct Ttion. If not for all the various gifts, no guilt. There is no reason to get a troublesome situation without your methods of getting our attention and upset, the caller is just trying to help our input. holding it for a few minutes, many a 1nosdos and deserves a civil response for So let us not allow ourselves to be mosad would have to close its doors. performing this unenjoyable task. swept away by the euphoria of the anti­ Mailings yield a notoriously low Naturally, human error being what it telemarketing movement. The few sec­ return ( 4% is considered good!) and are is, there wil1 be mistakes and 1nisun­ onds you will graciously spend on the no alternative to the personal touch. One derstandings. A negative response might phone will make a great difference. Your of the more cost-effective ways of indi­ result erroneously in a bill; a pledge of parents treated the "Pushka Man" like vidually reaching a large donor base is $18 may be recorded as $50; and so on. visiting royalty. The least you can do is through legitimate telemarketing. A The proper response is to inform the treat the telemarketer like a human carefully planned campaign will maxi­ mosad of the mistake immediately and being. • mize the time spent and even one caller can speak to twenty-five potential donors in the space of just one hour. The best firms in this field have this down to a science. They take a flat fee per * caller hour and pay their callers by the FREE SHABBAT hour. With no commissions on pledges, *Minimum 3 days rental, Exe. ins, valid 26.Aug.03 there is no incentive for a caller to fab­ till 19.Dee.03, valid shabbat only, Exe. monthly tariff. ricate pledges where they don't exist. TYPE OF CAR PER WEEK $ "We monitor our callers to ensure A FIAT PUNTO 3 DR 112 FROM- that the people on the other end of the D OPEL CORSA 203 line are not hassled," says the head of a F SUZUKI BALE NO t .6 259 * US$ prominent Brooklyn telemarketing XL PEUGEOT 406 2.0 371 company. "If the ti1ne is inconvenient, KX MAZDA MPV 693 .90 ES B.M.W 520 1008 15 the caller politely asks as to when they • Unlimited mileage. Exe.ins, PER DAY might call back. We have a double valid 26.Aug.03 till 19.Dec.03. responsibility toward the institutions we represent. We must maxin1ize their U.S.A New-York 1-800-938-5000 income and maintain their positive rela­ 212-629-6090 www.eldan.co.il tionship with the public." Another respected fundraising con­ sultant interviewed for this article con­ curs. "We never forget that as far as the giving public is concerned, we are the voice of the Yeshiva or charity we are calling for," he declared. "That is an achrayus we don't take lightly:' Thanks to firms like these, we can hear a pitch, respond immediately, or just ask for some literature in the 1nail, all within a minute. No caterers, no FOR expensive prizes or advertising cam­ THE FINEST· paigns; just a quick call and a statement IN in the mail within a day or two. Neat, 1 pleasant, and above all, cost-effective. 1111111 You don't have to pick up the phone AND VIDEO during dinner, and even when the expectation of an important call USA/ ISRAEL pro1npts you to answer, you can ask the telemarketer to call back later. Indeed,

The Jewish Observer;. November 2003 41 Reviewed by Rabbi Labish Becker

before the book is commenced. The vicissitudes of life. question posed there is why a book like • You will know what to say to non­ this one is valuable and why it is believers, skeptics, and potential ba'alei important to bear and tell over stories teshuva. Your personal examples of of Hashgacha prattis. A number of Hashgacha prattis will provide you with Zorei'a Tzedakos: Contemporary Stories interesting answers are set forth to convincing evidence of Hashem's handi­ of Divine Providence, by Dr. Meir Wik­ explain the benefits of hearing and work with which to support your case ler (published by Feldheim, Nanuet, NY, repeating stories of Hashgacha prattis. that the world is not hefker, ownerless, $19.99) Below is an edited sampler: and that Hashem not only created the •Your emuna (belief and faith) will be world but is also still very much running he Gemorain Meseches Sota (3a) strengthened. It is well-known that Rabbi the show. tells us that forty days before the Yechezkel Levenstein,., .. ,,,, the legendary • You will know how to inspire your Tformation of a child, a bas kol mashgiach ruchani of the Mirrer Yeshi­ children. Your Hashgacha prattis journal (heavenly voice) issues forth and pro­ va in Shanghai and Brooklyn, and of the will provide you with a repertoire of claims "the daughter of so-and-so is des­ Ponovezh Yeshiva in Bnei Brak, fre­ entertaining and educational stories to tined for so-and-so.'' Chazal are inforn1- quently encouraged his talmidim to keep tell your children at bedtime and at the ing us that each and every shidduch is personal Hashgacha prattis diaries to Shabbos table. Nothing drives home the "bashert," that marriage is not a matter intensify and reinforce their trust in timeless lesson of emuna and bitachon of chance hut of destiny. Imagine how Hashem. more to children that hearing true much easier life would he if everybody stories of Hashgacha prattis that heard this bas kol and knew who his or happened to their parents. her bashert was! Unfortunately we do • You will have abundant material to not actually hear the bas kol. If so, then, include in speeches. Your Hashgacha what is its purpose? prattis journal will become a rich source Perhaps the answer lies in the many from which to draw inspirational sto­ remarkable "coincidences" -the ins and ries to include in your public speeches outs, ups and downs and just plain odd - at a shiur, if you are a Rebbe or a happenings - that seem to he part and teacher, or at a simcha, if you are invit­ parcel of every shidduch. If we recognize ed to say a d'var Torah. that all of the disparate events and ele- Dr. Wikler makes the excellent sug­ 1nents that transpired were engineered gestion that people keep their own jour­ by the Ribbono Shel Olam to bring nals of Hashgacha prattis to record those together a man and woman destined to occasions when they were zocheh to see be husband and wife, we truly "hear" the •You will become moreawareofHash­ the Hand of Hashem in their own lives. bas kol. gacha prattis in your daily life. When you (For a person sensitive to these "hap­ Dr. Meir Wilder's latest book, entitled are shopping for eyeglasses or a new hat, penings;' this could be a very heavy tome "Zorei'a Tzedakos," chronicles a number you suddenly notice everybody else's indeed.) These memories will inspire of such extraordinary '(coincidences" glasses and hats. Being involved in any them for the rest of their lives, and con­ that shape our lives. It is a marvelous 1natter makes your more aware of that tinue to inspire their children and grand­ compendium of stories of Hashgacha subject. This heightened awareness of children for many generations to come. pratti~ of the Divine intervention that Hashgacha prattis can lead to your being [The reader should be advised of a sim­ imbues all aspects of our existence. They more appreciative of the many other ilar suggestion by the late Mashgiach of range from heartwarming stories of blessings you receive from Hashem. That Ponevezh, Rabbi Chaim Friedlander tzeddaka and chessed to tales of adven­ increased appreciation can in turn raise 7""1, author of Sifsei Chaim, to keep such ture and intrigue. your overall level spirituality. a journal, as recorded in his sefer, Hava Each episode is followed by an • You will become a happier, more opti­ Nireh es Yad Hashem. - N.W.] explanatory paragraph demonstrating mistic person. Focusing on the positive This is an appropriate hook for a the twists and turns of Hashgacha in the events in your life will deemphasize the family to read and discuss at the Shab­ story, and how the Divine hand of the negative, unpleasant misfortunes of bos table. Its lessons of Hashgacha are Zorei'a Tzedakos has manipulated life. As any mental health professional appropriate for all ages. A great exam­ events. (including the author) will tell you, ple is the final story, entitled "Tzedda­ The book concludes with a valuable adopting a positive attitude can vastly ka Tatzil Mi'maves," which begins with postscript that might well he read even improve your overall mood every day. a dvar Torah about this passuk. The story 1'hinking more positively, in turn, can that follows is an absolutely incredible Rabbi Becker is Associate Executive Director of Agudath Israel of America. result in improved coping with all the tale of Hashgacha prattis spanning

42 The Jewish Observer, November 2003 seventeen years, which helped save a could only have been sown and culti­ 227, eyin sharn v'timtza nachas. father's life. As Dr. Wikler writes: vated by the Zorei'a Tzedakos Who is As Rabbi Shlomo Brevda writes in So much tzeddaka, so n1any years Matzmi'ach Yeshu'os, sprouting sal­ his letter of approbation, "Dr. Wikler ago, leading to so many blessings for vation for us every day of our lives. has done a great service to us all with so many people at just the right time, As to the story itself, it begins on page his new sefer 'Zorei'a Tzedakos: Con­ temporary Stories of Divine Provi­ dence' in bolstering our emuna. His work should be truly appreciated, and DIVINE PROVIDENCE he and his family should be blessed by the Almighty." To that we say, "Amen." It was Yorn Kippur. I was in the midst It was my son Shmuel! And he had his II of the Amida. Suddenly a strange cell phone! He c_alled the Shell Motor thought entered my mind: "How do Club and was assured that a tow truck I know that there IS a G-d?" would be by in less than an hour. Baruch I shuddered; but I had an answer. Hashem! There have been many instances in. my An officer of the Rosemont, IL police life when I KNEW that G-d was per­ department came by and suggested sonally directing me. There were too that we leave the street as it was rush many such times for them to be coin­ hour. He pushed my car into a near­ cidental. Armed with this answer, I con­ by forest preserve entrance. Shmuel i, tinued to pray. One such time follows: waited with me. I told him what had i MOTHERS AND FATHERS ALIGNED SAVINGKfDS Tonight, I was on they way home happened on Yorn Kippur and sug­ from work. I had left twenty minutes gested that he was another example early so that I could be on time for Min­ of Hashgacha Prattis. m~t~for ~lnm of t~mm·m~ cha. As I was driving down Devon Shmuel and I prayed Mincha in the Avenue on the bridge over the Des forest preserve. Finally, the tow truck I CONFIDENTIAL HOTLINE Plaines River, my car lost power. I turned arrived and towed the car to the Shell toward the side of the road and station, a block from home. When they I Parent Support Groups momentum got me out of the middle did not have the resources for the lane. I stopped. I turned on my flash­ engine repair, I had the car towed to I Yeshiva Liaison ers and hoped that a tow truck or squad McCormick Auto Care Center (Shomer I E-Mail Support Group car would soon pass by. Traffic continued Shabbos). Now, baruch Hashem, the on as usual with al I the cars passing engine runs beautifully! I Sibling Support Groups me on the left. Sender Leib Aronin Finally, a car pulled over and Chicago, fl · I STARR .female Sibling Program stopped behind me. The driver got out. (-from a letter to the Editor of JO) . I Private Consultation I Referrals to Professionals & Jonah's Fashion Inc. Organizations I Educational Forums on Awaruiess Girls Yeshiva Uniform Manufacturers and Prevention I PM !Parent Mentoring) Group • We make skirts and jumpers, solids and plaids, from size 5 thru I Lending Library junior and pre-teens • Bais Yaacov blouses made from U.S.A. our own custom made !IW. llOOlll·ll00,1. (extra heavy) material 718-758-0400 ~!~1~'~ ~H~lM·ll

The Jewish Observer, November 2003 43

schools to teach children. [Copies are available from J.O. office upon request.] A few years ago I was talking to Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky N"V>':>'el about the Mechina. Rav Chaim said to me that all the efforts and money invested in the Mechina is worthwhile if even one child ALTERNATIVE OPENINGS school age, and the earlier the better. will succeed in becoming a hen Torah. We, too, suffer from the fear of stig­ Bechasdei Hashem Yisborach, dose to To the Editor: ma, i.e., many who need the Mechina l 00% of our talmidim become main­ I read "Alternative Closings:' in the don't come because of'(What will it say stream bnei Torah, and many become Tishrei/September JO, describing how about our son, our family?" In one of metzuyanim (outstanding). the yeshivas that help struggling boys our first years, the parents of a ta/mid In the spirit of Rav Chaim's words, I become bnei Torah suffer from lack of were considering taking him out am writing this letter. Perhaps someone enrollment because of the fear of stig­ because of stigma. I said to the father, amongst the readers will overcome his ma, and I would like to share with the "Let's go ask Rabbi Aharon Leib Stein­ or her fear of stigma, and help their readers some of my thoughts and man N"V>':>'el." When Rabbi Steinman child. experiences. heard the question, he immediately May we be zocheh that one day Kial I have been zocheh to run an insti­ retorted to the father: "Do you want Yisroel will be emancipated from mis­ tution for weaker 7th and 3th graders in your son to be a ba' al mum (handi­ guided ideas of «status," "stigma" and Israel. The boys are subsequently main­ capped)?" The boy stayed, and baruch "competition,,, and return to the Torah­ streamed into the regular yeshiva sys­ Hashem today is flourishing in yeshiva. true ideals of the community working tem. The institution is called a "Mechi­ Once a prominent American together to raise each child to Ahavas na" (prep school) and we have had mechanech advised me that if l am get - HaTorah and Yiras Shamayim. It is up dozens of boys whose lives have liter­ ting a letter from Gedolim, I should ask to us. Certainly, if we really want to, then ally been turned around. Many now them to write that it is important for we would merit the Siyata Dishmaya to excel in their yeshivas. They boys come us to also worry about the weaker or do so. from regular chadarim of B'nei Brak problematic talmidim. When I related May Hashem Yisborach grant us the and Kiryat Sefer. They also come from this to Rabbi Nissim Karelitz N"V>':>"1, he zechus to raise all our children to all types of homes. Some are from fam­ looked at me as if I were asking to write Ahavas Ha Torah and Yiras Shamayim. ilies who are considered the "Who's the obvious. (RABBI) AVROHOM EHRMAN Who" of Kial Yisroe/, and many are I am enclosing a letter signed by Bnei Brak from "Amcha YisroeZ:' Some boys come Gedolei Yisroel ,... ..,,.,..,, written for the The writer of the above letter is the from warm supportive homes, and for Mechina which states that having such author of several sefarim, including Jour­ some, their home life is also problem­ an institution in a city is part of the mitz­ ney to Virtue, published by ArtScroll. He atic. va incumbent on each city to have Torah can be reached at 011-972-03-570-5108. What they have in common is that most of them can be helped to become true b'nei Torah, if they are helped while Unde·Moishy, Dedi they are pre-Bar Mitzva - elementary Avrohom Fried, Digest of Meforshim and other leading '>V1j77 in:i '>V1j77 Jewish entertainers ';"~ 1))1''m '::>~ll:JV l";JU!l:J are available Available at to visit LEKUTEI • Each Daf is read, clo Yitzchok Rosenberg seriously ill 1445 54th Street translated, and explained Brooklyn, NY 11219-4228 slowly and clearly in just children ". ..,,, 718-854-6701 thanks to • 20 minutes CHAVA 20 Volumes on Torah, Perek, Medrash, • $4 per tape (plus S&H) ~~HAS ·~. ~.~ Megilos, Talmud, and Tehilim. • Subscription rate: $3 per tape fl''P-:i.PV" ·i-ronm ~ AChessed project run by Proceeds of sales distributed a1nong (plus S&H) Agudath lsriiCt of America' Yeshivos and used for reprinting of in ronjuncfion with volumes out-of-print Suki & Ding Productions To set up_an appointment, call: PRICE: $8.00 PER VOLUME (212) 797"9000 Ext.235

The Jewish Observer, November 2003 45 Faygie Borchardt

0 "WHITE

No longer children, we've grown up looking-over-the-shoulder instinct very, very, very grown-up shoes .... seen the burning of the house, adding up miles, oceans, lands they do not fit. scattering of brothers trains traveling monster track the madness of tyranny, unbridled ships crossing to new, uncertain harbors For we are unbelievable, transformed to real. add the miles that put Children! Young, vulnerable, Babes no more, we've reached the toughest of marathoners to shame. dependent. the fog-encrusted precipice of Lights leave, power fails, water trickles - disillusionment, It's a grown-up marathon, now and we are lost. the dazed point for the sophisticated, the jaded. of being shocked by nothing. Now running from, now chasing after. "It was there we learned to survive Toys, big people's baubles in the woods and to conquer the ... Sally, Dick and Jane say, "Run, Spot, searching for the one to fill wild-eyed [reflex] runl" or anesthetize, at least that charges, not out of the dark But Dick and Jane's world runs away the gaping hole. woods. from us. The deep, aching hole. But out of one's own interior, High price tags on those books, today and goes by the name of fear." as people seek their childhoods No nnkerbell now, to wave it all away wanting to be, again, enveloped with sparkling wand. Heat soars, skies darken. needing to believe Perfect pasta, We find comfort in comradeship, that walls, already crumbled, piece of the rock, band rhodium-dipped support in open-handed cannot fall. climbing higher, running faster. togetherness, and both those gifts Why does running seem so much harder tied with glorious, glittering ribbons of Once-bright covers show than when we were little hope and trust - Father raking amber autumn leaves smiling up at Dick and Jane In our newborn awakening. swept into a pile for Sally certain they lived just around our corner Awakening to the powerful, to race through in her new red wagon and would so want to be friends? fearsome, pulled by Jane. delicious, feather-soft It is harder, now. We whoosh! reality of our utter dependence, Run, Spot! Run. to catch our breaths, our fragility, our childhood essence. Run. Stop. Run. step hard to keep our balance, Children are we, all Running has become a modus operandi teetering on platform shoes, All power, Hashem's All action enabled by One Master Generator. A privilege, it is to be children, beloved children. Suddenly, in the very knowledge of our vulnerability we are strong.

And the lights go on.

Mrs. Borchardt of Brooklyn, who teaches limudei kodesh in several Bais Yaakov high schools, has had her writings published in Hamodia, Horizons as well as in The Jewish Observcr("Best Wishes;' Dec. '02).

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