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R. V. Smethurst and the Empress of Blandings

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R. V. Smethurst and the Empress of Blandings P lum L in es V o l . 14 No 1 T h e q u a r t e r l y n e w s l e t t e r o f T h e W o d e h o u s e S o c ie t y S p r in g 1993 R. V. Smethurst and the Empress of Blandings eorge van Capelle, one of our recent Smethurst off stage rather like a chucker-out in a members in the Netherlands, made a pub regretfully ejecting an old and respected G customer and started paging G. G. Simmons. startling discovery not long ago. He found the only known picture of R. V. Smethurst Until this moment no one knew what and a previously unknown picture of the that "fat kid in knickerbockers" looked like, Empress of Blandings. but he stands before you in happy expect­ R. V. Smethurst, you recall, flashed ancy in the self-portrait below. across the Wodehouse firmament in that vivid scene of prize-giving by Gussie Fink- Nottle at Market Snodsbury Grammar School in Right Ho, Jeeves: Gussie, after the departure of P. K. Purvis, had fallen into a sort of daydream and was standing with his mouth open and his hands in his pockets. Becoming abruptly aware that a fat kid in knick­ erbockers was at his elbow, he started violently. "Hullo!" he said, visibly shaken. "Who are you?" "This," said the bearded bloke, "is R. V. Smethurst." "What's he doing here?" asked Gussie suspiciously. "You are presenting him with the drawing prize, Mr Fink-Nottle." This apparently struck Gussie as a reasonable explanation. His face cleared. "That's right, too," he said . "Well, here it is, cocky. You off?" he said, as the kid prepared to withdraw. "Sir, yes, sir." "Wait, R. V. Smethurst. Not so fast. There is a question 1 wish to ask you." But the bearded bloke's aim now seemed to be to rush the ceremonies a bit. He hustled R. V. R. V. Smethurst and Wooster Proposes, Bulletin board 14 Clients of Adrian Contents the Empress 1 Jeeves Disposes 9 Jeeves and the OED 14 Mulliner 23 I f I Were You; Scott Meredith 10 A few quick ones 15 "Jeeves and Wooster"24 a Wodehouse first 3 New members 11 Sponge bag trousers 16 Kindred spirits 25 PGW and the New Statesman 4 What about that day Puns 17 The care of the pig 26 Replicates, anyone? 6 at the dog races? 12 Plum's theater 17 Capital! Capital! 27 "Pack, Jeeves" 7 1992 financial report 12 Thank You, jeeves 18 Man and Myth Dedications 7 Only to Psmith? 13 Something new 19 revisited 28 Make way for newts 8 Skin Deep 13 Plumacrostic 20 Convention '93 29 The Rhyme of the Ancient Want ads 14 Sonny Boy 22 Mulliner 9 Plum Lines Vol 14 No 1 Spring 1993 1 The works of P. G. Wodehouse, like those of other great authors, have their little Information and new memberships mysteries. What song the sirens sang may not Marilyn MacGregor be beyond all conjecture, but it doesn't 3215-5 Bermuda Avenue readily spring to mind. Similarly, in the scene Davis CA 95616 just quoted, we do not know how R. V. Smethurst won that drawing prize, or what Dues payments and address changes question Gussie wished to ask him. But Tom Wain wright possibilities suggest themselves: Gussie 220 Grover Lane wished to ask R. V. Smethurst how he won Walnut Creek CA 94596 the prize, and the answer is, of course, that he won it by drawing this picture of the Editorial contributions Empress. Ed Ratdiffe, OM I find this to be a most satisfying conclu­ 538 San Lorenzo Avenue sion. Felton CA 95018 It's only fair to tell you that R. V. Smet­ hurst is masquerading, these days and in the Dues are $15 per year. Netherlands, as Dirk Kramer. George van Capelle explains: All quotations from P. G. Wodehouse "The pictures I sent are a product of the are reprinted by permission of the Copy­ pen of one of my employees, a fine technician right Owner, the Trustees of the Wode­ by the name of Dirk Kramer. He once told me house Estate. that he enjoyed reading the Dutch transla­ tions of the Master's works and I tried to guide him on the way to a more pure under­ From the fact that he spoke as if he had standing of PGW's genius." a hot potato in his mouth without The one remaining mystery is the cause getting the raspberry from the lads in of the Empress's hauteur, or disgust, or the ringside seats 1 deduced that he disdain, or whatever emotion she is display­ must be the headmaster. ing in the picture. After I figure out what Right Ho, Jeeves, 1934 song the sirens sang, I'll work on this one. 2 Plum Lines Vol 14 No 1 Spring 1993 If I Were You: another Wodehouse first by Frits T recently came across a most unusual button. The reason for reissuing the play Menschaar JLwodehousian item: under a different name is also obvious. The 1932 privately published If I Were You was If I Were You, a Comedy in Three Acts not copyrighted. To enable trousering royal­ by Guy Bolton and P. G. Wodehouse ties on the 1934 London production, the authors had to reissue the play afresh, this On the title page the following notation time duly copyrighted, under a new title. appears: "Specially compiled for the use of The novel, published in September 1931, amateur societies." It was printed by Butler was produced in America before Wode­ and Tanner. No publisher or price is men­ house's return to England that month. tioned. There is no copyright notice. The text Dramatization, by Bolton alone or by the two is a dramatization of Wodehouse's 1931 of them, was probably done at that time as novel of the same title. well. It could well have been the reason why The 1990 Mcllvaine bibliography the novel was dedicated to Bolton. Back in informs us that the novel If I Were You was England in the autumn of 1931 Wodehouse dramatized as Who’s Who in 1934. Nowhere must have arranged the private publication does it mention a play entitled/// Were You . of the play, exactly why we will probably The text of the two plays is identical. Neither never know, quite possibly without consult­ Jimmy Heinemann, eminent Wodehouse ing Bolton, which may have triggered the collector and publisher, nor Lee Davis, argument about royalties two years later author of a book on the Wodehouse/Bolton/ when the play was selected for a commercial Kern trio to appear shortly, knew of the If I run. Were You play. When the play was reissued in 1934 What do we make of this hitherto under the new name, the 1932 privately unknown edition? No publisher is men­ published edition, which likely had sold few tioned. No publication date is given. The copies only, must have been withdrawn from printer's name, however, gives a clue. Butler further circulation. Remaining copies were and Tanner printed for Faber & Faber, with probably destroyed. This would explain why whom Wodehouse had a brief connection in it has not popped up earlier. At this time early 1932 (refer page 198 of Bany Phelps' there seems to be only one known copy. splendid new biography). The only Faber & I would appreciate any information that Faber Wodehouse book is Louder and Funnier; any member might have on this. all books before and after that title were published/printed by different companies. Hence, we may conclude that the play I f I Were You was printed during that brief span in early 1932. Why was it reprinted 2 years later under a different name? Barry's biography provides a dueon page 184. A Wodehouse letter of August 27,1934 mentions an argu­ ment with Bolton about royalties on the play If I Were You (the play was to be produced for a run at the Duke of York's Theater, starting September 1934 under the name Who's Who, as we learn from Mcllvaine). Bany, unaware of the existence of the If I Were You play, notes that Wodehouse must have been mistaken and meant Who's Who. We now know that Wodehouse was right on the P lum Lines Vol14 No 1 Spring 1993 3 Wodehouse and the New Statesman by Peter t first glance, this topic seems an un­ of 1991, when the assignment asked for a Morris A promising one, since the New Statesman scene of Shakespeare rewritten by Wode­ was founded in 1913 by the Webbs to pro­ house or vice versa.Most of the winning mote independent socialist debate of the entrants were ones who opted for the former serious controversies of the day—hardly P. course, in large part because of the judge's G. Wodehouse's cup of tea. At the start of refusal to accept "thingummy" and the like as 1934, however, the New Statesman inherited additions to the Shakespearian lexicon. Here from the Week-End Review a literary competi­ they are: tion which has been one of its features ever since. The premise was simple; each week a new assignment was given out and in a Wodehouse's Twelfth Night subsequent issue the winning entries were by Noel Petty printed. The assignments have, however, been sufficiently varied to keep the competi­ We Aguecheeks are nothing if not loyal tion fresh.
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