MATCH DAY SPONSOR The Birko Times 20-7-2013 BIRKENHEAD UNITED v FC

The original model of the plans for Shepherds Park - 1969

PROMOTING FOOTBALL IN OUR COMMUNITY

Clubrooms: Shepherds Park, Melba Street, Beach Haven, Auckland Ph 482 2494 • Fax 482 2497 www.birkenheadunited.org.nz Email: [email protected] Contents Page Presidents Welcome...... 3 First Team Report...... 5-7 Goal Scorers 1st and Reserve Team...... 9 Reserve Team Report...... 11 Ladies Football...... 12-13 U17 Metro Report...... 14-15 Club Merchandise for sale...... 16 Club History - 1980’s...... 17 Premier Men and Reserve Squad Lists...... 18-19 Fun Football...... 21-25 Vote BUAFC...... 28 League Tables...... 29-33 NRFL Prem Res and Prem Mens Fixtures/Results...... 34-35 Club Contacts...... 36

Published and Printed by: AKARANA PUBLISHING CO Freephone 0800 666 767 • Ph (09) 419 7124 • www.akaranapublishing.co.nz For previous issues of “The Birko Times”, just head to our website! www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 1 Birkenhead United AFC are celebrating 50 years of football and would like you to join us in an evening of festivities.

VENUE: BUAFC Clubrooms Ticket Option 1 Melba Street, Beach Haven Entry to Clubrooms and Party Central Marquee Shepherds Park 5.00pm - 6.00pm: Happy Hour DATE: Saturday 12th October 2013 6.00pm: Speeches TIME: See Ticket Options 7.00pm-8.30pm: Buffet Dinner and Cake Cutting Ticket Option 2 8.30pm-9.30pm: Auction Party Central Marquee 9.30pm-1.00am: DJ Party Time! 8.30pm-9.30pm: Auction 9.30pm-1.00am: DJ Party Time! $50 per person $15 per person

RSVP: September 29, 2013

Please contact Heather Ward 027 222 8789 Email [email protected] for internet banking options

Cash sales see Bill Illingworth behind the bar in the clubrooms.

2 www.birkenheadunited.org.nz PRESIDENTS WELCOME A warm welcome to Shepherds Park to Waitakere City AFC players, supporters and management in this round 14 fixture. While we enjoyed a 6 -1 win away in the first round, we expect a tough game today and will need the full and noisy support of the Red & White Army to be successful.

In our 50th anniversary year, Birkenhead United is enjoying a special year with success across the club and I wanted to mention those senior and metro teams who are in the top four of their respective competitions.

• Premier Mens • Premier reserves Mens • 1st Division Mens • 1st Division O35 Mens • 3rd Division O35 Mens • 4th Division O35 Mens • 1st Division Womans • 2nd Division Womans • 17th Metro Youth • 13th Metro Youth

Well done to those teams. Some of you could win your leagues which would be something extra to celebrate in this, our 50th year. Overall our ‘win-o-meter’ (which the average placing across all of the senior and metro youth teams) is at 3.9 which is a great improvement from the 4.4 we were at a few weeks ago.

Whatever our league results, one of the things that has evolved and grown this year is the special club culture we enjoy here at BUAFC. What we have is unique and is one of the cornerstones upon which our on-field success is based. If we keep building our club culture, exciting times lie ahead as we grow stronger as a club and as a centre of the community.

I look forward to talking with you some more in the clubrooms where everyone is very welcome, especially Waitakere City supporters and parents and children from either club.

Dave Newick President

www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 3 73 Carlisle Rd, Browns Bay Auckland • Printed/Personalised LUGGAGE TAGS • Plain & Printed LANYARDS • SECURITY WRISTBANDS, Tyvek, PVC, Vinyl & Material • SILICONE WRISTBANDS • THUNDERSTIX • PLASTIC CARD Printing E: [email protected] P: 094 799 799 M: 021 258 7776 www.taggs-r-us.com www.silicone-wristbands.co.nz www.printed-lanyards.co.nz www.tyveksecuritywristbands.co.nz

4 www.birkenheadunited.org.nz FIRST TEAM REPORT Welcome to Colin and his Waitakere team. We’re expecting a very tough game today against a team with some new quality addition’s. Our last home game was a reasonably straight forward win against . We changed personnel a bit from the week earlier with goals to Roussi (2) Dan and Bill. This was the last game for Bill before he heads to his pro career and also a debut for the impressive Dan Morgan. We then met Manurewa at Memorial Park, a difficult surface to play on to say the least. We did enough to win and were happy to take 3 points with goals to Jack (2) Elijah and Roussi. At this stage of the competition we’re just taking one game at a time, and need to get the points today. Next weekend we’re looking forward to our next ASB game against Melville. Don’t forget there are two buses going down, so book yourself a seat. We look forward to the continued support from our amazing Red and White Army. Steve and Terry are doing a fantastic job with the reserves, so if you get the chance to get along and watch a reserve game, do it! Once again a big thanks to Parky, Tim and Hannah and also to our new goalkeeping coach Andrew Parkinson, welcome aboard. Cheers Hobbo

FIRST TEAM REPORT – MANAGERS SAY! A big welcome to Colin, Jeremy and their charges to the ‘Home of Football’ today. Let’s hope the heavens are more loving than those of our round one fixture. Also welcome to Nick and his assistants, thank you for your time and effort, and welcome to our loyal ‘red and white army’ troops back home, and thank you all once again!

06.07.2013 v Onehunga Sports Our last home game, and back to league football after three weeks of intense ASB Chatham Cup clashes! As expected ‘Sports’ came out with a hiss and a roar and gave the lads a right hurry up, although Birko created opportunities they were unable to capitalise and went to the break with both sides scoreless. After a controlled and informative break the lads hit the park running and a Roussin Nkoy goal after 46’ gave Birko the sniff they needed. Shortly later Roussin bagged his brace, Continued ... www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 5 LET’S

MELVILLE UTD

Melville play in Red, so we will be in our away strip, but still want to see those red and white stripes!

Join the Red and White Army! Scarves, face paint, banners and as much noise as you can possibly make! Gower Park, Hamilton Saturday July 27th 2pm 2 Buses are now booked to go to Hamilton. 1 bus will stop at the Pub, the other won’t. Please see a member of the committee or bar staff to buy your tickets now! First in first served. $15 a ticket

6 www.birkenheadunited.org.nz Dan Morgan on debut for Birko added the 3rd and in ‘refs time’ Bill Tuiloma sealed the 3 points with a 4-0 win. Player of the day with a tireless effort was James Lawson.

13.07.2013 vs Manurewa. On the road again to War Memorial Park and the ever-present paddock at Manurewa, this can be expressed in the way the Ressies were transferred to #2. Hard to play the crisp passing saw the lads probably over think somewhat, yet they persevered and Elijah Neblett fought off two defenders to finish and open the scoring, this was soon doubled when the ever working Lawso was taken down and Jack Hobbo drilled the ensuing penalty into the roof of the net. Two nil to the better at half time, which had it not been for former Birko keeper Louie Caunter could have been more! This was to be repeated in the second stanza and another Lawso tussle earned Jack another penalty opportunity that Louie got a hand to, but couldn’t prevent the net bulging! A 71st minutes bit of class from Jack Hobbo gave Roussin a tap in and although Manurewa scored a consolation goal a 1-4 score line secured the 3 points in a round of interesting results across the league table. Today’s players of the day has two assists, scored two penalties and was all over the park, congrats Jack Hobson-McVeigh, superb!

ASB Chatham Cup Quarter Final – 27.07.2013 vs Melville Utd @ Gower Park PLAYERS OF THE DAY With the lads having progressed to the Vs Three Kings Godwin Darkwa quarters to match our success of last Vs East Coast Bays Dylan Windust season, the club have put on two coaches, Vs Onehunga Sports Sam Jasper a “party bus” and a more “sedate family Vs Manurewa Bill Tuiloma oriented” one for the supporters to travel Vs Waitakere Dylan Windust down to the Waikato. We have been Vs Jacob Hall Vs Hamilton Wanderers Ryan Howlett blessed with the support this year and Vs Central Utd Jack Hobson-McVeigh again the lads love and appreciate every Vs Ellerslie Ash Crawford last one of you! Thank you and bring it on, Vs Cambridge Adam Wallis yet … let’s face Waitakere first and the old Vs Three Kings Adam Wallis adage of ‘one game at a time’ springs to Vs Glenfield Elijah Neblett mind. Vs Glenfield Gaz Williams Enjoy today, thank you again and see you Vs Hamilton Wanderers Shane Norton after the game. Vs Onehunga Sport James Lawon Vs Manurewa Jack Hobson-McVeigh Parky www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 7 8 www.birkenheadunited.org.nz BirkoBirko GoalGoal ScorersScorers 20132012

1ST TEAM RESERVES ...... League.....C/Cup Jack Hobson McVeigh...... 6...... 3 Harrison Bolton-Roberts...... 6 Sam Jenkins...... 4...... 2 Nathan Gibb...... 5 Sam Margetts...... 3...... 1 Connor Felstead...... 5 Elijah Neblett...... 3...... 1 Paul Park...... 3 Dylan Windust...... 2...... 2 Cody Doherty...... 3 Roussin Nkoy...... 3 Shaylin Neethling...... 2 Sam Jasper...... 2 Dylan Higgins...... 1 Doobie Parkinson...... 2 Harry Bell...... 1 James Lawson...... 2 Elijah Neblett...... 1 Godwin Darkwa...... 2 Jack Holbutt...... 1 Bill Tuiloma...... 2 Hussein Ewazi...... 1 Dan Morgan...... 1 Andrew McFadzean...... 1 Ryan Howlett...... 1 Aydn Kettle...... 1 Adam Wallis...... 1

www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 9 Please call me for all of your Property, Business, Wills and Trust legal needs

Stuart Weir P: 525 4597 [email protected]

10 www.birkenheadunited.org.nz BIRKO RESSIES Manurewa v Birkenhead Reserves War Memorial Park 13/7/2013 With only 3 points separating the top teams, and all of the top teams still to play, we needed to get something, preferably all of the points, from this game. Typically the Manurewa pitch looked a lot better than it actually was and even with studs it was going to be difficult to play the tight, controlled passing game that we prefer. As is our way we totally dominated the first twenty minutes and had clear scoring opportunities that went begging. The defence and goalkeeper had very little to do in this period and easily handled any Manurewa attacks. The longer the half went the more frustrated the players became and our discipline became sloppy at best. The referee, who was clearly determined to have a major role in the game, blew one way more than the other and in response the arguing against his decisions became louder, resulting in more free kicks against. And when things start to go wrong you can expect it to get worse. Winning a free kick and then giving away a throw in around halfway in the same move, resulted in a ball into the box. Andy McFadzean raced across to cover and the resulting tackle saw the striker going to ground. The ref saw an infringement and against the run of play and almost on half time Manurewa took the lead from the penalty spot. The half time team talk matched the on field attitude with arguments continuing and it was not a particularly positive team that retook the field. Manurewa with their tails up pressed hard and we had a very evenly contested game on our hands. Sadly the ref continued to cop too much flack, cards started to be shown and ultimately we lost Nick to a red card for a comment made to another player that the ref assumed had been aimed at him! Finally we got some luck when a perfectly weighted through ball found Conor onside and 1 on 1 with the keeper. Whilst he saved the first shot, Conor followed up to calmly slot between two defenders to gain parity. Unfortunately we didn’t have time to enjoy the moment as Manurewa quickly grabbed another goal and it looked like we would return home empty handed. Adyn Kettle had other ideas. To be fair to our boys we had worked hard with only ten men and we created opportunities as well as defend well. It was clear that the team left out there were determined to grab at least a point and it was good that they lifted right to the last minute. And it was almost in that last minute that Adyn Kettle found himself breaking through the defence to slot home easily passed the advancing keeper. 2 – 2 game over! Shaylin and Paul Park ran their legs off and kept their mouths shut and Adyn played simple effective football when he came on, earning player of the day. This had been a game that we would rather forget mainly due to the negative attitudes, bickering and whinging at the ref, and a bit of soul searching is required this week. Terry Taylor www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 11 LADIES FOOTBALL 2013 LADIES DIVISION 1 7th July 2013 – vs. Te Atatu W1: Postponed Half of Te Atatu’s team are in the Air Force; their plane broke down overseas, say no more…… 14th July 2013 – vs. Takapuna: Result 0 v 0 Draw Realistically a fair result for a game that swayed dominance from one team to the other, from start to finish, with both teams taking the dominant role for periods of roughly ten minutes before the other team took their turn. With the necessity to make some positional changes, through injury, illness, and unavailability, the Birko ladies took a few moments to settle into their game, but once they did they showed Takapuna the advantage of playing a fast passing game, constantly turning Taka on their heels. Taka seemed to quickly turn to the old hoof and chase game, trying to utilise the strong wind at their tail, but the majority of their attacks were easily cleaned up by Lisa Witberg and Kitty Buchanan in the central defence, or snapped up by Zoe Harker in goal. The most poignant moment of the first half occurred with approximately 5 to go, Birko found themselves defending a corner which was swung into the near post, the Taka striker employed a ‘hand of god’ attacking style punching the ball into the back of the net, with the ref initially giving the goal, it wasn’t until the pressure of 11 angry Birko ladies made the same striker admit her foul, which thankfully changed the ref’s decision. The second half continued in a similar vein as the first with a constant swing of dominance, and right up to the very last play of the game, a quality cross from Lorna Selby which beat the Taka keeper and missed Gill Lathwood’s outstretched foot by millimetres, could have given either team the desired three points. A player of the day performance by Kitty Buchanan who played in the unfamiliar position of centre back but quickly took up the role and controlled those around her. Round two of the Federation One cup next week sees us up against the newly formed Forrest Hill Reserve’s team, who are playing in the Conference League above us, which will be a huge test for the ladies to say the least…….

LADIES DIVISION 2 7th July – 4-1 Loss vs. Ranui Thanks to last weekends result we travelled to Ranui confident we could get a result. Unfortunately that confidence may have been our undoing. A slow start allowed them to find their rhythm and we struggled to break them down for parts of the game. At times both teams completely outplayed the other and it could’ve swung either way with both teams creating chances. Unfortunately for us they took their chances whilst we let ours go begging. Not a bad performance overall but unfortunately it wasn’t our day and hopefully lessons learnt. Player of the day went to Nel Pearson for a good all round display in multiple positions.

12 www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 14th July – 1-0 Loss vs. Norwest This week we hosted top of the table challenger Norwest. We knew this was likely to be a hard game and sure enough it was. Another slow start allowed them to dictate the pace in the first half and they went in at half time with a deserved 1-0 lead. The second half firmly belonged to us though but for the second week in a row we couldn’t turn pressure into goals and they hung on for the result. In truth it was a close game between two good evenly matched teams and having drawn them in the cup next weekend we’ll at least have an opportunity to turn the result around. Player of the day went to goal keeper Roz Marelich for some great saves which kept the comeback a possibility.

LADIES DIVISION 4 Home to Takapuna We eventually lost 2 – 0 but, as usual, played some good football. This was our last grading game and we finished mid-table which meant that we went into the top group in Division four. Away to Glenfield This was our first game in Division 4A after the grading round. I would expect us to dominate this group so was disappointed when we finally lost 3-2 after being behind 2-1 at half time. Glenfield scored early in the second half and although we did get one back, we just couldn’t go on and get the equaliser. Well done to Freddie who got her first goal of the season and Laura who scored our first goal of the game. We are playing well and I certainly hope that we will go on and finish the season strongly. We just need to convert our good performances into goals!

• Fencing RD Property Contracting Ltd • Retaining • Gib Board Repairs Richard Davis • Lawn Mowing Managing Director • Repairs and Gutter Cleanouts • General Maintenance Proud to Support • Rubbish Removals • Painting Birkenhead Utd! • Paving • Gardening P: 021 31 08 71 • Any non permit Building work E: [email protected] • Rental Property Clean Ups You Name It We May Be Able To Do It! If no answer just leave a message and we will call you back. www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 13 UNDER 17 METRO An easy 9-1 win boosts confidence Game 12 vs , Sunday 07 July, Shepherds Park: I always seem to have a pleasant feeling and a positive outlook when we are scheduled to play at home. That’s because I believe Shepherd Park has some of the best football playing fields and definitely the best football ambiance in the Metropolitan area. This sometimes can influence a team’s performance. Our team’s performance against Oratia demonstrated this belief as a flurry of goals proved that we can play creative football. The goals were scored in quick succession and honestly, I cannot recall each one and therefore cannot report on how they occurred…. sorry boys. A total of 9 goals were scored by our young guns. 5, yes 5 stunning goals were scored by the classy Conor Felstead which was backed up by 2 goals each from Joel Curran & John Short. Overall, a very good display of football which once again showcased Birko’s young talent. Conclusion: Although our opposition never really had the skill to compete, scoring 9 goals in a Metro League is by no means an easy feat. Stand outs: Conor Felstead, Joel Curran, John Short Result: 9-1 win Coaching Team’s Emotion: Pleased  Outlook: Still in with a chance Coach: Paul Hobson Trainers: Steve Holbutt & Terry Taylor Manager: Jason Higgins

Birko’s boys back on track beating Bucklands Beach Game 13 vs Bucklands Beach, Sunday 14 July, Shepherds Park: I celebrated my 44th birthday the day before and another win at home would complete an enjoyable birthday weekend. And the boys did not disappoint. With only 12 players available to play it was always going to be challenging maintaining the fast paced game we have become accustomed to. We started by dominating the midfield and maintaining position which allowed us to dictate the play. Within minutes Thomson Nkoy gathered the ball in midfield and an overlapping Harry Bell made a run down the left flank which allowed Thomson an option to pass to. Harry then beat the defense and calmly squared the ball (on the deck) to an approaching Thomson… bang, what a goal. 1-0 up and the boys looked hungry. Our 2nd goal came courtesy of another positive run by Thomson Nkoy down the left hand side of the pitch. After skillfully dribbling through two defenders Thomson passed the ball to a well positioned Adyn Kettle who seemed to have enough time to pick his spot and deliver a powerful shot rattling the back of the net. Unfortunately, a momentary loss of concentration by our keeper, Darius allowed our opposition to score from a free kick on the edge of the box. 2-1 up at the break and the boys

14 www.birkenheadunited.org.nz still looked hungry. Playing into wind in the 2nd half seemed to have slowed the boys down. And when Scott Guyatt left the field with a head injury, we were forced to reshuffle the backline which meant a change in midfield. Ultimately, our game lost traction as Bucklands Beach retained possession. However, an encouraging run by Dylan SEASON GOALS Higgins on the right wing produced a free Conor Felstead 13 kick on the edge of Bucklands Beach’s Thomson Nkoy 5 box. Paul Hobson insisted Harrison Bolton- Roberts take the free kick. He instructed Dylan Higgins 3 Harrison to “go for goal” by hitting the top Adyn Kettle 3 right corner of the net. And yes… Harrison Joel Curran 3 did just that. 3-1 up with minutes to play. John Short 3 Bucklands Beach scored an unusual goal when another lapse in concentration by Amili Kasim 2 our backline allowed their centre forward Elijah Neblett 2 to position himself in path of a clearing kick Harrison Bolton-Roberts 2 which rebounded into the net…. unlucky. Keegan Farrelly 1 Conclusion: Overall the boys did not really play to their potential. A number of players Scott Guyatt 1 played in unfamiliar positions which showed Tate Kimpton 1 their depth as football players.... well done boys. TOTAL 39 Stand outs: Gregory Vasilaki, Thomson Nkoy, Adyn Kettle Result: 3-2 win Coaching Team’s Emotion: Happy birthday Jason  Outlook: Must win every game Coach: Paul Hobson Trainers: Steve Holbutt & Terry Taylor Manager: Jason Higgins Please support the advertisers in the programme, as without them we wouldn’t have one!

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16 www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 1980’S BUAFC Darts Club We started the darts club up about 30 years ago and we have played every Thursday night since. In it’s heyday we had three boards going with nine or ten players on each board, but these days we get about 10 or 12 players each night. We are mostly a social club, but have played in a local league and we enter some local competitions, and have won the Bill Kingi Tournament twice. We also host the Bill White Memorial Tournament in February of each year which is very well attended by local dart teams. Bill White was a foundation member of the dart club, and also a regular to the club. Those of you who knew him, will fondly remember his impression of a certain German dictator, his witty poems and of course his food! All of the money we raise goes back into the football club and the Darts Club have been instrumental in buying the main trophy cabinet, the freezers by the kitchen and the beer cooler behind the bar. Bill White We still play every Thursday and start at 7pm. Entry is $3 dollars which isn’t bad for 4 hours of witty banter! Peter Williams

The Bill Kingi trophy and tournament 2011 held at Chances Bar, Glenfield. www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 17 NRFL PREMIER RESERVES

1 Gareth Williams GK Mike Bishop 2 Andrew McFadzean 2 Adam Pienky 3 Andrew Collenette 3 Louee Cliffe 4 Nick Smith 4 Joseph Turgabeshi 5 Hussein Ewazi 5 Kanae Sepania 6 Paul Park 6 Daniel Simmons 7 Jack Holbutt 7 Justin Shepherd 8 Tom Holbutt 8 Christian Kirenga 9 Connor Felstead 9 Ryan Mugumira 10 Nathan Gibb 11 Ielome Funafuti 11 Harrison Bolton-Roberts 12 Ashley Ngadela 12 Harry Bell 13 Jacob Shepherd 14 Cody Doherty 14 Simon Burden 15 Dylan Higgins 16 Adrian Shepherd 18 Matthew Smith 19 Ayo Olasupo

Coach: Steve Holbutt Coach: Justin Shepherd Manager: Terry Taylor Manager: Maurie Shepherd Physio: Hobsonville Physio

MATCH DAY OFFICIAL: Robin Van Niekerk

18 www.birkenheadunited.org.nz NRFL PREMIER MENS

1 Shane Norton GK Eamon Goodin 2 Paul Park GK Scott Armisted 3 Bill Tuiloma 2 Matthew Chatterton 4 Sam Jenkins 3 Ashton Pett 5 Ash Crawford 4 John Muchirahondo 6 Sam Jasper 5 Sam Redwood 7 Godwin Darkwa 6 Alopua Petoa 8 Dylan Windust 7 Vaisua Liva 9 James Lawson 8 Mark Whitmeyer 10 Sam Margetts 9 Karlo Pavic 11 Jack Hobson-McVeigh 10 Denver MacDonald 12 Dan Morgan 11 Roy Krishna 13 Roussin Nkoy 12 Imraan Shah 14 David Parkinson 13 Meneua Fakasega 15 Jacob Hall 14 Linton Simmons 16 Ryan Howlett 15 Israel Whitley 17 Elijah Neblett 16 Jake Butler 18 Adam Wallis 17 Kodai Hayashi 19 Gareth Williams 18 Rory Turner 20 Jamie Shields 19 Tim Meyers 21 Hayden Nayler 23 Harri Bolton-Roberts

Coach: Paul Hobson Coach: Colin Tuaa Asst Coach: Tim Howlett Asst Coach: Jeremy Seales GK Coach: Andrew Parkinson Manager: Daniel Shepherd Manager: Simon Parkinson Physio: Hannah Dawson Physio: James Houldsworth MATCH DAY OFFICIALS: Nick Waldron, Tom Woo, Ravi Prasad www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 19 20 www.birkenheadunited.org.nz FUN FOOTBALL 2013 Sometimes when co-ordinating 270 kids into 56 teams and trying to find enough volunteer parents to help coach, you have to get a bit creative. My form of creative is to draw on the generosity of those who have coached in previous years. Rather than ask if they are keen to coach, just allocate them a team (or two) and tell them they are coaching. Occasionally, there are people who are so keen, they are happy to help out with more than one team. This is one of those fantastic coaches! Derek Setford’s players love his enthusiasm for coaching. He even shares that enthusiasm with his wife. It appears to go down specifically well when a Saturday lands on her birthday… Here is a little view of the football season from the Setford Family.

It’s 8.05 a.m. on a cold Saturday morning. The cloud is sitting low over the fields – almost fog but not quite – and the grounds are tinged white with slushy frost. We come early every Saturday so that I can organise what I need to for my son Quinn’s 8th grade team which I coach, before kicking off practice for my younger kid’s 6th grade team. So here I stand, in the middle of the field where we will play this morning, with my 5 year old daughter Jade hunkered down hugging herself and her twin brother Ash wrapped around my left leg. Quinn stands a little way off stomping his foot and telling me what a horrible Dad I am. They are all crying hysterically and whining continuously about how cold it is. Every attempt to get them running around to warm them up has failed though ironically they’re all very red in the face from the exertion of bawling. The first of the coaches and parents are passing by, quiet sympathy on their faces, veiled hope in their eyes that their kids will not succomb to the cold and tantrums. It’s about then I find myself asking, why? Why am I here? Why did I crawl out of bed this morning when my warm, soft pillow begged me to stay and snuggle? Things fail to get better in practice, Ash wanting to know when we are going home and Jade refusing to move unless someone holds her hand. One of the team’s players fails to show and we go out for the game with no subs. Continued ... Proud to Support the Birkenhead Community www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 21 22 www.birkenheadunited.org.nz FUN FOOTBALL 2013 There is a moment of hope when Quinn calms down finally and heads over with his mum to the 8th grade fields for his game. Diane (my wife) also takes the team gear bag and will start the kids practicing until one of the team Dads arrives to help. If Quinn can get over it, surely so can the twins!? No such luck. Jade spends most of the game squatting in the middle of the field sobbing unless I’m holding her hand and Ash only starts getting involved as the game winds down. Ironically the only player on the team that got stuck in had nothing more than a tee shirt on the whole game. Unsurprisingly it was not hard deciding who was player of the day. Then it’s a frantic dash across the fields (I’m sure Ben get’s some sadistic pleasure in putting our 6th grade game on a field as far as possible away from the 8th grade field) with whining kids in tow to Quinn’s game where I tag out Diane who has been coaching the first half of the game and run out for the second. I’m somewhat not surprised to find only two of the regular team players are here. A third player is away skiing and the fourth has gone home due to the cold. Luckily we’d managed to ring in a very good 7th grade player so the game is a competitive 3 aside. When the final whistle goes I’m exhausted, not from the physical exertion but rather the drama of it all. I make my way to the sideline wondering again, why do I do this? What had made me say yes 3 years ago when Ben Continued ...

BEACHHAVEN ■ Tyres ■ Wheel Alignments ■ Brakes ■ Suspension 246 Beachhaven Road, Beachhaven • P 483 6037 • F 483 6035 www.firestonebeachhaven.co.nz www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 23 FUN FOOTBALL 2013 asked if I would coach Quinn’s team. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t days like this. Surely I’m not that much of a masochist?! I pull out the player of the day trophy from the bag and prepare to exalt the virtues and praise the efforts of the kids ... and then it hits me – the reason. Quinn’s team had got a new player at the beginning of the season. He had never played, knew almost nothing about the rules and had little ball skills. For the first 5 or 6 games he had stood on the field, very unsure of himself and only getting involved when gently prodded by me. My coaching and direction seemed to fall on deaf ears and at times I wondered if he was even enjoying himself. And then one Saturday he had just come alive; he chased the ball, he kicked, he defended and saved a goal. Let’s be straight here - this is no American movie where the under achiever is suddenly the star player. He still had a long way to go, but all those things I had been saying to him showed in his play. Then I had pulled the player of the day trophy from the bag and I had known who I was giving it to. The kids had huddled together and I had gone through our ritual of praising what each kid had brought to that game that day, leading up to the presentation of the trophy. It had been then that his eyes had dropped as he scuffed at his feet. He already had believed he was not getting that reward. So when it was his name I called to be player of the day he was not expecting it. There was the startled jerk up of the head; the shock and surprise.

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24 www.birkenheadunited.org.nz And then came the smile; too big for his face. The joy and triumph is there. Sudden confidence in his stride. The trophy received reverently, held close, as though worried it was just going to vanish, as if it was all but a dream. And so much pride, in himself and what he had achieved. This was why I do it. This was what made it all worth it. This is why I’ll drag my arse out of bed next Saturday and stand in the middle of the field come rain or shine, frost or snow. You can’t buy the feeling that comes from knowing you helped a kid believe in him or herself. So if you’ve ever thought, I’d love to help but don’t know how. Consider coaching. Don’t be put off by your own soccer skills or your coaching experience. When Ben asked me, I was careful to explain that I’d never been coached in the game, that the last time I had played I was ten and had managed to score an own goal. Ben was right when he said that it didn’t matter. Caring is what matters, the club and Football NZ will support you and provide coach training to help with the technical stuff. For me it’s a family affair. All five of us will be there next Saturday - and all the others - while my kids and their team mates keep having fun and wanting to play. Because ultimately that’s what it’s all about. Derek Setford

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www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 25 You think English is easy??

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Here’s some more interesting use of the English language ....

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2 The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

26 www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 4) We must polish the Polish furniture.. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

PS. – Why doesn’t ‘Buick’ rhyme with ‘quick’?

www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 27 * VOTE FOR HOBBO AND YOUR FAVOURITE BUAFC 1ST TEAM PLAYER!

Head to the Auckland Football Federation website and vote! www.aucklandfootball.org.nz

* *

28 www.birkenheadunited.org.nz LEAGUE TABLES

NRFL PREMIER MENS TEAM P W D L GF GA GD PTS Birkenhead Utd 12 9 2 1 38 16 22 29 East Coast Bays 12 8 2 2 31 15 16 26 Hamilton Wanderers AFC 13 6 5 2 31 16 15 23 Central Utd 12 7 1 4 30 17 13 22 Bay Olympic 12 4 3 5 22 24 -2 15 Onehunga Sports 12 4 2 6 19 25 -6 14 Three Kings Utd 11 3 4 4 27 22 5 13 Ellerslie AFC 12 3 3 6 14 18 -4 12 Waitakere City FC 12 2 3 7 14 35 -21 9 Manurewa AFC 12 1 1 10 8 46 -38 4

NRFL PREMIER RESERVES TEAM P W D L GF GA GD PTS Hamilton Wanderers AFC 13 10 2 1 38 16 22 32 Central Utd 13 9 1 3 43 21 22 28 Ellerslie AFC 12 9 1 2 36 15 21 28 Birkenhead Utd 13 8 3 2 40 24 16 27 Manurewa AFC 12 5 3 4 26 22 4 18 Onehunga Sports 13 5 1 7 23 31 -8 16 East Coast Bays 13 5 0 8 26 29 -3 15 Three Kings Utd 13 4 1 8 21 35 -14 13 Waitakere City FC 13 2 2 9 23 42 -19 8 Bay Olympic 13 0 0 13 11 52 -41 0

NFF MEN’S 1ST DIVISION TEAM P W D L GF GA GD PTS East Coast Bays Sheehan 15 12 1 2 49 23 26 37 Takapuna Boca Seniors 15 7 4 4 33 28 5 25 Birkenhead Camelspace 15 7 3 5 28 23 5 24 Glenfield Exell 12 6 3 3 26 19 7 21 Waitakere Vitor 12 6 2 4 28 17 11 20 Oratia United 15 3 2 10 19 33 -14 11 Air Force 9 2 2 5 17 19 -2 8 North Shore United 13 1 1 11 10 48 -38 4

www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 29 LEAGUE TABLES

NFF MEN’S 2ND DIVISION TEAM P W D L GF GA GD PTS Albany The Boys 15 11 4 0 50 18 32 37 Albany Africans 15 11 2 2 55 25 30 35 East Coast Bays Syab 15 7 3 5 33 21 12 24 Glenfield Muppets 14 7 2 5 42 34 8 23 North Shore Seagulls 15 6 5 4 33 28 5 23 Takapuna Tornadoes 14 7 0 7 31 37 -6 21 Glenfield Re-United 15 6 1 8 44 32 12 19 Oratia Forrest 14 5 3 6 30 35 -5 18 Birkenhead Hauraki Home Brew 15 5 3 7 33 42 -9 18 Glenfield Juggernaut 15 4 2 9 22 31 -9 14 Albany Red United 15 3 4 8 32 54 -22 13 Hibiscus Evolution 14 1 1 12 23 71 -48 4

NFF MEN’S 4TH DIVISION TEAM P W D L GF GA GD PTS East Coast Bays Thomas 15 12 2 1 36 14 22 38 Albany Young Poles 15 8 4 3 38 20 18 28 Forrest Hill Muff 14 9 1 4 41 27 14 28 Glenfield Roberts 15 7 1 7 36 32 4 22 Albany Champs 15 7 1 7 35 31 4 22 Puhoi Wolfpack 14 6 3 5 31 23 8 21 Birkenhead United 15 6 1 8 27 36 -9 19 East Coast Bays Optimus Prime 15 5 2 8 22 30 -8 17 Forrest Hill Jammy Donuts 15 3 3 9 21 36 -15 12 Navy 13 1 0 12 10 48 -38 3

NFF MEN’S 7TH DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP TEAM P W D L GF GA GD PTS Forrest Hill Flames 4 3 0 1 14 4 10 9 Forrest Hill Wanderers 3 2 0 1 5 7 -2 6 Waitemata 2 1 0 1 3 3 0 3 Birkenhead Frisby 2 0 1 1 3 6 -3 1 Greenhithe Frontal Lobotomy Boys 3 0 1 2 4 9 -5 1

30 www.birkenheadunited.org.nz LEAGUE TABLES NFF O35S 1ST DIVISION TEAM P W D L GF GA GD PTS Hibiscus Statues 13 10 3 0 59 15 44 33 North Shore Bucks 14 8 3 3 48 20 28 27 Albany Mad Dogs 15 7 6 2 36 28 8 27 Birkenhead Cavheads 14 6 4 4 42 33 9 22 Albany Lads 15 7 1 7 33 30 3 22 Glenfield Roosters 14 6 4 4 36 38 -2 22 Waitakere Bosch Car Service 14 4 3 7 23 35 -12 15 East Coast Bays All Sorts 14 4 2 8 27 38 -11 14 Oratia Gerihatricks 15 3 0 12 36 65 -29 9 Waitemata 14 2 2 10 22 60 -38 8

NFF O35S 2ND DIVISION TEAM P W D L GF GA GD PTS Warkworth 14 13 1 0 64 21 43 40 Glenfield Rock 15 8 6 1 39 13 26 30 15 6 5 4 38 25 13 23 Oratia Rovers 14 6 5 3 35 24 11 23 West Auckland 14 6 4 4 30 23 7 22 Birkenhead Progressive 14 4 5 5 40 31 9 17 Forrest Hill Milford 14 3 5 6 36 41 -5 14 East Coast Bays Kim 15 3 1 11 19 63 -44 10 Glen Eden Blue 15 2 3 10 17 44 -27 9 Glen Eden Black 14 2 3 9 13 46 -33 9

NFF O35S 3RD DIVISION TEAM P W D L GF GA GD PTS East Coast Bays Foreign Legion 13 8 3 2 21 15 6 27 Waitemata 13 8 1 4 34 23 11 25 Birkenhead Boca 14 6 5 3 24 18 6 23 Hibiscus Invaders 13 6 1 6 19 21 -2 19 Albany Originals 11 6 0 5 20 18 2 18 Te Atatu Socialbles 13 5 3 5 24 28 -4 18 Glenfield Gringos 12 3 4 5 26 19 7 13 Te Atatu Blue 13 4 1 8 18 25 -7 13 Hibiscus Heroes 12 1 2 9 18 37 -19 5

www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 31 LEAGUE TABLES NFF O35S 4TH DIVISION TEAM P W D L GF GA GD PTS Birkenhead Bonnie Ladd 14 12 2 0 47 17 30 38 East Coast Bays Elford 14 10 2 2 43 12 31 32 Ranui Ragers 13 6 4 3 39 17 22 22 Greenhithe Roaring Forties 14 6 4 4 28 24 4 22 Waitakere Matrix 14 4 5 5 17 20 -3 17 West Auckland Old Farts 12 4 3 5 18 21 -3 15 Glenfield Cobwebs 11 4 2 5 22 26 -4 14 Greenhithe Rebels 14 3 4 7 24 46 -22 13 Albany Nortons 14 2 3 9 14 26 -12 9 Glenfield Internationals 14 1 1 12 9 52 -43 4

METRO 17TH GRADE TEAM P W D L GF GA GD PTS Ellerslie AFC Sunday 14 10 3 1 41 11 30 33 Eastern Suburbs AFC Holt 14 9 1 4 30 11 19 28 Birkenhead Utd 13 8 1 4 39 17 22 25 Three Kings 12 7 2 3 30 16 14 23 Waitakere City Mesias 13 7 2 4 28 18 10 23 Forrest Hill Milford 12 5 4 3 22 14 8 19 Bucklands Beach Spurs 13 4 1 8 17 28 -11 13 Papakura City 13 3 1 9 14 45 -31 10 Central Utd FC 12 2 2 8 12 28 -16 8 Oratia Utd 14 1 1 12 14 59 -45 4

CONFERENCE 15TH GRADE TEAM P W D L GF GA GD PTS Fencibles Utd AFC 12 10 0 2 47 12 35 30 North Shore Utd 12 9 1 2 38 17 21 28 Three Kings 10 7 0 3 28 18 10 21 Papatoetoe United FC Blue 12 5 1 6 22 24 -2 16 Birkenhead Utd 11 5 1 5 28 39 -11 16 Manurewa AFC Pumas 12 4 3 5 27 32 -5 15 Western Springs AFC Barcelona 13 3 3 7 25 29 -4 12 12 2 1 9 18 41 -23 7 Bay Olympic Falcons 10 1 2 7 5 26 -21 5

32 www.birkenheadunited.org.nz LEAGUE TABLES METRO 13TH GRADE TEAM P W D L GF GA GD PTS Onehunga Sports 6 6 0 0 30 2 28 18 Forrest Hill Milford Wilson 6 4 2 0 19 8 11 14 Three Kings 5 3 1 1 8 4 4 10 Birkenhead Utd 6 3 0 3 12 16 -4 9 Papakura City Rangers 6 2 2 2 7 8 -1 8 Oratia Utd 6 2 1 3 8 9 -1 7 Waitemata All Stars 6 2 0 4 11 24 -13 6 Ellerslie AFC 6 1 1 4 14 22 -8 4 Eastern Suburbs AFC Ireland 6 1 1 4 6 18 -12 4 East Coast Bays McKeown 5 1 0 4 8 12 -4 3

NFF WOMEN’S 1ST DIVISION TEAM P W D L GF GA GD PTS East Coast Bays 14 12 0 2 52 17 35 36 Takapuna 13 8 2 3 30 14 16 26 Te Atatu 12 8 0 4 20 13 7 24 Birkenhead United 11 6 1 4 20 13 7 19 West Auckland Reserves 13 5 2 6 15 26 -11 17 Te Atatu Sociabelles 13 2 2 9 15 34 -19 8 Hibiscus Coast Gold (2013) 13 2 2 9 7 26 -19 8 Oratia United 11 1 3 7 7 23 -16 6

NFF WOMEN’S 2ND DIVISION TEAM P W D L GF GA GD PTS Norwest Reserves 13 9 2 2 28 16 12 29 Birkenhead United 14 9 0 5 46 22 24 27 Glen Eden United 11 7 3 1 33 12 21 24 13 5 5 3 28 21 7 20 East Coast Bays Reserves 14 6 2 6 22 22 0 20 Glenfield Gazelles 12 6 0 6 27 28 -1 18 West Auckland Knights 13 3 6 4 11 18 -7 15 Ranui Rebelles 13 2 6 5 12 24 -12 12 Warkworth Surveyors 13 2 1 10 24 45 -21 7 Hibiscus Coast AAs 12 2 1 9 16 39 -23 7

NFF WOMEN’S 4TH DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP TEAM P W D L GF GA GD PTS Glenfield Gold 1 1 0 0 3 2 1 3 Oratia Socialites 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 3 Birkenhead United 1 0 0 1 2 3 -1 0 Oratia Divas 1 0 0 1 0 1 -1 0 www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 33 2013 NRFL PREMIER RESERVES FIXTURE/RESULTS TIME HOME TEAM AWAY TEAM VENUE Sat 6 Apr Three Kings Utd 1 vs Birkenhead Utd 1 Seymour Park 1 D Sat 13 Apr East Coast Bays 1 vs Birkenhead Utd 2 Bay City Park 1 W Sat 20 Apr Onehunga Sports 1 vs Birkenhead Utd 0 Waikaraka Pk 1 L Sat 27 Apr Birkenhead Utd 4 vs Manurewa AFC 2 Shepherds Park 1 W Sat 4 May Waitakere City FC 2 vs Birkenhead Utd 5 Fred Taylor Park 1 W Sat 11 May Birkenhead Utd 5 vs Bay Olympic 4 Shepherds Park 1 W Sat 18 May Hamilton Wanderers AFC 3 vs Birkenhead Utd 3 Porritt Stadium 1 D Sat 25 May Birkenhead Utd 1 vs Central Utd 3 Shepherds Park 1 L Sat 1 Jun * Ellerslie AFC 1 vs Birkenhead Utd 2 Michaels Ave 1 W Sat 8 Jun Birkenhead Utd 5 vs Three Kings Utd 2 Shepherds Park 1 W Sat 22 Jun Birkenhead Utd 6 vs East Coast Bays 2 Shepherds Park 1 W Sat 6 Jul Birkenhead Utd 4 vs Onehunga Sports 0 Shepherds Park 1 W Sat 13 Jul Manurewa AFC 2 vs Birkenhead Utd 2 Memorial Park 1 D Sat 20 Jul Birkenhead Utd vs Waitakere City FC Shepherds Park 1 Sat 27 Jul Bay Olympic vs Birkenhead Utd Olympic Park Sat 3 Aug Birkenhead Utd vs Hamilton Wanderers AFC Shepherds Park 1 Sun 11 Aug Central Utd vs Birkenhead Utd Freyberg Field Sat 17 Aug Birkenhead Utd vs Ellerslie AFC Shepherds Park 1

The majority of games kick off at 12.30pm, but please check www.birkenheadunited.org.nz or www.aucklandfootball.org.nz for confirmation. * Game on Sat 1 Jun a 3.45pm kick off. Other League games being played this weekend

East Coast Bays - Central Utd Three Kings Utd - Bay Olympic AFC Onehunga Sports - Manurewa AFC Ellerslie AFC - Hamilton Wanderers

34 www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 2013 NRFL MEN’S PREMIER FIXTURE/RESULTS TIME HOME TEAM AWAY TEAM VENUE Sat 6 Apr Three Kings Utd 1 vs Birkenhead Utd 1 Seymour Park 1 D Sat 13 Apr East Coast Bays 1 vs Birkenhead Utd 2 Bay City Park 1 W Sat 20 Apr Onehunga Sports 3 vs Birkenhead Utd 5 Waikaraka Pk 1 W Sat 27 Apr Birkenhead Utd 5 vs Manurewa AFC 0 Shepherds Park 1 W Sat 4 May Waitakere City FC 1 vs Birkenhead Utd 6 Fred Taylor Park 1 W Sat 11 May Birkenhead Utd 2 vs Bay Olympic 1 Shepherds Park 1 W Sat 18 May Hamilton Wanderers AFC 2 vs Birkenhead Utd 2 Porritt Stadium 1 D Sat 25 May Birkenhead Utd 4 vs Central Utd 5 Shepherds Park 1 L Sat 1 Jun * Ellerslie AFC 0 vs Birkenhead Utd 1 Michaels Ave 1 W Sat 8 Jun Birkenhead Utd 2 vs Three Kings Utd 1 Shepherds Park 1 W Sat 22 Jun POSTPONEDBirkenhead Utd DUEvs TOEast CoastASB Bays CHATHAM Shepherds CUP Park 1 Sat 6 Jul Birkenhead Utd 4 vs Onehunga Sports 0 Shepherds Park 1 W Sat 13 Jul Manurewa AFC 1 vs Birkenhead Utd 4 Memorial Park 1 W Sat 20 Jul Birkenhead Utd vs Waitakere City FC Shepherds Park 1 Sat 27 Jul POSTPONEDBay Olympic DUEvs TOBirkenhead ASB Utd CHATHAM Olympic CUP Park Sat 3 Aug Birkenhead Utd vs Hamilton Wanderers AFC Shepherds Park 1 Sun 11 Aug Central Utd vs Birkenhead Utd Freyberg Field Sat 17 Aug Birkenhead Utd vs Ellerslie AFC Shepherds Park 1

The majority of games kick off at 2.45pm, but please check www.birkenheadunited.org.nz or www.aucklandfootball.org.nz for confirmation. * Game on Sat 1 Jun a 6pm kick off.

Come and join us on a Thursday Night for a convivial evening of DARTS 7pm Registration for 7.30pm start. $3 per player. From beginners to professionals! We cater for all levels of players so come and join us! www.birkenheadunited.org.nz 35 CLUB CONTACTS Club Personnel Facilities Manager: Bill Illingworth Ph. 482 2494

President: David Newick Ph. 021 579 996

Vice President: Gareth Williams Ph: 021 0287 1703

Secretary: Neil Coventry Ph: 021 0265 2828

Club Captain/Media Liaison Officer: Ajmol Ali Ph: 021 781 333

Treasurer: Sian Chad Ph: 021 257 4566

Junior Convenor: Ross Frisby Ph. 483 5718 or 021 648 352

Director of Coaching: Paul Hobson Ph. 021 144 8702

1st Men’s Coach: Paul Hobson Ph. 021 144 8702

Events and Fundraising Ajmol Ali 021 781 333 Email: [email protected]

Sporting & General Publications AP AKARANA PUBLISHING COMPANY Match Day Programme If you would like to support the club in the way of advertising in this match day programme or for any other kind of publication questions please contact Graham Lambert on 419 7124. Also if you would like an article included, please email [email protected]

36 www.birkenheadunited.org.nz • Concrete • Drainage • Foundations • Retaining Walls • Slip Stabilisation• Pile Driving & Drilling • Contaminated Waste Disposal Ph: 412 7048 Fax: 412 7410 14 Wookey Lane, Kumeu 0841 Birkenhead United would like to thank the following sponsors and acknowledge all those people who have either advertised within this programme, or voluntarily given their time to help the club. MAJOR SPONSORS

SILVER SPONSORS Tuatara Management Republik Lasoo Akarana Publishing Takapuna Orthodontic Group RTL 3 Little Birds Safety Source Aqua Floors Mike Pero Real Estate Jam Talent Gobble Caterers J+S Mobile Catering Barfoot & Thompson Beach Haven