FRONT COVER WHO DO YOU SEE WHEN YOU STEP OUT OF YOUR DOOR?

WHAT DO YOU DO OR SAY WHEN YOU MEET THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE NEXT TO YOU? This handbook offers a quick guide to the roots of Singapore's multicultural heritage as well as an introduction to life amid neighbours with diverse origins and beliefs. Through brief insights into the com- For many Singaporeans, the world beyond their door- munities who call Singapore home steps is a community of neighbours, a high-rise village and their respective ways of life, we of people of different origins, traditions and mother hope this handbook will help you tongues who have learned to live together in harmony. to explore and reacquaint yourself We no longer live in kampongs (villages) or shophous- with the many customs and tradi- es, but life in modern Singapore retains much of the tions that make up Singapore, and kampong spirit of old, when children of different races in doing so, even pick up a few new and religions grew up together and learnt to give and nuggets of information and engage take as they marked life’s milestones, performed rites your neighbours with sensitivity and of passage and celebrated moments of festivity. confidence.

Walk down the corridors, landings and void decks of HDB flats across the island and you will find neigh- We begin by recalling Singapore's bours who are happy to greet you with a smile, offer history in a nutshell and the rise of a hand in friendship and play a part in making one the public flats that most Singapo- another feel at home. Neighbours become friends reans call home. We then focus on and children become playmates. Families living next the practical aspects of living next door to each other learn to share in the joy of seasonal door to neighbours from Singapore’s a community engagement project by in collaboration with festivities, chip in when help is needed, and together most prominent ethnic communi- build ties that strengthen their faith in the community ties, namely the Malays, Chinese, and their sense of belonging to the nation. Indians and Eurasians. pg 2 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 3

A magnet for migrants LIVING News of Singapore’s new status as a free TOGETHER port spread far and wide. Thousands of merchants, labourers and planters soon AS A NATION arrived, turning the island into a mosaic of communities from all over the region. In Modern Singapore was a multicultural so- modern Singapore’s early years, as a result ciety from the very start, when Sir Stamford of Raffles' Town Plan of 1822, new arrivals Raffles (1781-1826) arrived on 28 January often settled in designated enclaves such 1819 and signed a treaty with the local ruler, as Kampong Glam for the Malays, Bugis Temenggong Abdul Rahman (d. 1825), that and Arabs; Telok Ayer (Chinatown) for gave the British trading rights on the island. the Chinese; and Chulia Street, Market Apart from sizeable Malay and Orang Laut Street and later, Serangoon Road, for (Sea Nomads) villages, Singapore then migrants from South Asia. But over time, was also home to Chinese settlers who many of these ‘enclaves’ acquired a more ran about 20 gambier estates. Along with diverse make-up. Chinatown, for instance, Raffles came a company of Indian soldiers or is where you can find Singapore’s oldest Sepoys who defended the harbour, as well as Hindu place of worship, the Sri Mariam- cooks and servants of Indian origin. man Temple, as well as the Jamae Chulia Mosque, built by Tamil Muslim migrants in the 1830s, and Masjid Omar Kampong Melaka, Singapore's oldest mosque. Meanwhile, the Serangoon Road area, popularly known as Little India, is home to several Hindu temples, mosques and churches as well as Buddhist and Tao- ist temples. Early migrants, for the most part, continued to practise their respec- tive cultural and religious traditions while living and working alongside each other. Many also played active roles in society at large by giving to the poor, building sites of worship, funding hospitals, establishing schools or serving as community lead- ers who helped to mediate communal disputes or conflicts. pg 4 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 5

From colony to NATION Over the years, many who arrived from afar to seek their fortunes and explore fresh opportunities sank roots in Singapore. During the Second World War, the shared trauma of the Japanese Occupation (1942- 1945) contributed to a growing sense of nationhood and encouraged many Singaporeans in the post-war years to seek the rights and responsibilities of citizens in an independent country, rather than live as subjects of colonial rule. Living in a multi-cultural society THE NATIONAL PLEDGE Singapore became independent in a turbulent We, the citizens of Singapore, Singapore’s journey towards nationhood was, thank- time. Communal tensions were then wide- pledge ourselves as one united people, fully, a peaceful one. Under British rule, a governor and spread and even resulted in racial riots that regardless of race, language or religion, Legislative Council made the laws that shaped the lives threatened to wreck the fabric of the nation. To to build a democratic society, of ordinary residents. This changed on 2 April 1955, preserve social harmony and improve the well- based on justice and equality, when the first general elections were held for a par- being of all citizens, many of whom then lived in so as to achieve happiness, tially elected Legislative Assembly that gave Singapore urban slums with poor sanitation and facilities, prosperity and progress for our nation. limited self-government. These elections were won by the government embarked on a sustained pro- the Labour Front, whose leader, David Saul Marshall gramme to develop the economy and provide "One united people" (1908-1995), a lawyer of Baghdadi Jewish origins, affordable housing through subsidised flats. The ideals that unite the nation are became Singapore’s first Chief Minister. Later, on 30 This gave Singaporeans, who were encouraged perhaps best captured in the National May 1959, general elections were held for the first fully to buy their own flats rather than rent or squat, Pledge, which was introduced to elected Legislative Assembly, which were won by the a tangible stake in the country and a real sense schools islandwide in 1966. The words People’s Action Party led by Lee Kuan Yew (b. 1923), a of ownership for their homes and nation. There of the National Pledge, written by S. lawyer who became Singapore’s first Prime Minister. were also efforts to forge a strong sense of na- Rajaratnam (1915-2006), a Ceylon- On 3 December 1959, Singapore was proclaimed a tionhood and common identity among Singapo- born former journalist who was then self-governing nation with its own Head of State or reans of all races and religions. These initiatives Minister for Foreign Affairs, remind Yang di-Pertuan Negara, Yusof bin Ishak (1910-1970). included National Service, introduced in 1967, Singaporeans that the nation’s suc- Later, after a brief merger with Malaysia between and Racial Harmony Day, which reinforces the cess and progress depends on the September 1963 and August 1965, Singapore declared importance of racial and religious harmony as a unity of all citizens, who must not full independence on 9 August 1965 and henceforth, shared national value that cannot be taken for allow differences in language, race or charted its own destiny as a republic founded on the granted. principles of democracy, justice and equality. religion to divide them. pg 6 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 7

LIVING TOGETHER under one roof

For many Singaporeans, living in Housing & Development Board or HDB flats is part and parcel of growing up in the Lion City. For the world at large, HDB estates, with their well-planned towns and safe and clean From urban slums to high-rise living Did you know? living spaces, have become a source of pride and a symbol of Singapore’s Today, more than 82 percent of Singapore's population The infamous Bukit Ho Swee success as a nation despite overwhelming odds. live in HDB flats. It was a very different scene back in fire, which broke out in a 1960, however, when the HDB was established. Then, squatter settlement near the city was overcrowded and dotted with shanty Tiong Bahru on 25 May 1961 towns. An entire family might squeeze into a tiny and left 16,000 people home- shophouse cubicle, which was shared with many other less, helped to spur a major households, while thousands lived in squatter settle- building drive by the HDB. ments with no piped water, unreliable electricity and Then Prime Minister Lee primitive sanitation and waste disposal. Kuan Yew, who visited the scene, had promised the vic- Before 1960, the HDB’s predecessor, the Singapore tims that new flats would rise Improvement Trust (SIT), had built low-rise flats in from the devastated neigh- areas such as Tiong Bahru, Kampong Java and Queen- bourhood within a year. Five stown, but could not keep up with the rapidly growing new HDB blocks were then population. To tackle the severe housing shortage, the completed in nine months to HDB took a high-rise approach and introduced simple, house the displaced families. cost-efficient designs such as communal corridors and standardised interior layouts.

Estates of convenience Did you know? To make life convenient and pleasant for residents, In the early years, residents HDB estates also incorporate facilities and ameni- preferred the lower storeys of ties such as markets, hawker centres, schools, clinics, HDB flats as lifts then were libraries, sports facilities, parks and playgrounds, thought to be unreliable. But and were located close to areas where people work. today, the uppermost floors The estates also have town centres with banks, post are highly sought-after for offices, shops and other amenities, which are linked the breezy heights they com- to bus interchanges or Mass Rapid Transit (MRT) sta- mand. tions that make it easy for residents of HDB satellite towns to commute to other parts of the island. pg 8 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 9

Moving up! Shifting from kampong Void decks, vibrant spaces spaces to common corridors Many HDB blocks have spa- For some Singaporeans, the move to HDB flats from cious, well-ventilated void rural villages or traditional shophouses was initially decks on the ground level, difficult, as they found it hard to adjust to high-rise where residents can relax, living. A few even tried to bring their pigs and poultry mingle and chat. Some void up to their flats, while the public menace of ‘killer litter’ decks also have senior citizen emerged as some people retained their old habit of corners, sundry shops or chucking out trash and even unwanted furniture from kiosks, and sheltered play- their windows. But over time, HDB households learnt grounds for children. HDB to make the most out of high-rise communities and introduced void decks in the establish fresh ties with the people around them. For 1970s to provide convenient instance, in the days when televisions were expensive venues for social events such and uncommon, residents who did not have a set of as weddings and funerals, their own might drop by a neighbour’s unit down their and to add a sense of spa- corridor to catch a favourite drama together. ciousness to the ground floor of the flats. In void decks, lift landings and other common areas, neighbours came to recognise each other and make friendly exchanges a daily habit. They may have a chat Designing high-rise Did you know? after a day of work, discover common interests and homes for Singaporeans Many HDB estates have hobbies, or share what they were cooking for din- distinctive architectural ner. One family might ask the folks next door to help The very first HDB flats were described as “slab blocks features that make them watch over their flat when they are away; in turn, they with flats along a common corridor”, as providing sim- easily recognisable from would offer to buy groceries if their neighbours were ple, acceptable homes for former squatters and slum- afar. For instance, flats in busy or working late. Children enjoyed the care and dwellers was the most urgent task then. But later, HDB Bishan have pitched roofs watchful eyes of many friendly ‘uncles’ and ‘aunties’. produced designs that made the living environment like houses, Potong Pasir flats And as they played with neighbours from various more enjoyable. It did this by having estates with a have sloping rooftops, while backgrounds, they picked up helpful phrases in differ- mix of low-rise flats and higher blocks, with the former marine or aquatic motifs are ent languages, sampled the cooking of their friends’ serving as buffers against roadside noise. Open spaces incorporated into the seaside families and came to see how other Singaporeans and green belts of trees and hedges also help to shield estates of Sengkang and celebrated the rites of life and rituals of passage. flats from traffic din. Marine Parade. pg 10 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 11

LIVING TOGETHER as neighbours

Improved interiors Who’s your neighbour? Who are the people who live next door to you? Newer generations of flats were designed to give residents more room, improved In the following pages, we introduce the major ethnic groups who call bathrooms and toilets, dedicated areas for Singapore home, their domestic cultural practices, including common storage and laundry, wider corridors and greetings, everyday do’s and don’ts, norms and taboos for guests and greater privacy. The placing of washrooms neighbours. Plus, we feature a quick and handy introduction to the many by the kitchen was a convenient feature that religions that Singaporeans profess and practise. allows residents to easily switch between tasks such as cooking and cleaning. Built-in racks on the kitchen ceiling and window holders for bamboo poles let residents hang their wet clothes both indoors and outdoors. Today, rows of bamboo poles with colour- ful laundry drying in the wind have become a defining feature of Singapore’s urban landscape.

Privacy amid shared spaces To protect residents’ privacy, some flats had their floors raised above the corridor level so that people walking by will not be able to peek into rooms facing the common walkway. In some flats, the corridors are also segmented to offer more privacy while fa- cilitating interaction between neighbours. At the same time, the arrangement and design of HDB flats helped to promote social interaction. In the old days when air-conditioning was rare, people often kept their doors open for better ventilation, a practice that made it easy for neighbours to exchange greetings and kick- start conversations. pg 12 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 13

THE MALAYS Singapore plays a major role in the Sejarah Melayu or Malay Annals, a semi-historical account of the Malay kingdoms active during the 14th and 15th centuries. When Raffles arrived in 1819, Singapore was part of the Johor-Riau Sultanate, which had succeeded the Malaccan Sultanate. Temenggong Abdul Rahman, who represented the Sultan, headed a Malay settle- ment by the Singapore River. After the modern port was founded, Singapore drew people from all over the Malay Archipelago, including Bugis traders from Macassar in South Sulawesi as well as Javanese and Boyanese from the island of Bawean (off Java) who worked as horse-carriage drivers and gardeners. Many Malays from Malacca, Johor and Sumatra also came to work and settle in Singapore.

In the past, many members of the Malay community Did you know? dwelt in villages in areas such as Kampong Glam, Zubir Said (1907-1987), Geylang Serai, Telok Blangah and Kampong Malacca who composed Singapore’s (near Clarke Quay). There were also many coastal National Anthem, Majulah kampongs at Kallang, Bedok, Changi and the southern Singapura, was a Malay islands such as Pulau Sakeng, Pulau Bukom and Pulau songwriter who moved to Brani. When some of these villages were redeveloped Singapore from Sumatra in between the 1930s and 1960s, the residents were re- 1928. Mr Zubir originally located to new Malay Settlements in Jalan Eunos, Kaki wrote Majulah Singapura Bukit, Pasir Panjang, Ayer Gemuruh (near Tanah Me- in 1958 for the City Coun- rah) and Sembawang. After independence, these set- cil. In 1959, Deputy Prime tlements eventually gave way to new housing estates Minister Dr Toh Chin Chye and infrastructure, and the former villagers moved to (1921-2012) asked Mr Zubir HDB flats. Today, Malay Singaporeans account for 13.3 to adapt the song into the percent of the population. present National Anthem. pg 14 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 15

The Chinese Singaporeans of Chinese origin, who make up about 74.2 percent of the population, trace their origins and dialect groups to various regions in China where their ancestors came from. They include, among others, the Hokkiens, Teochews, Cantonese, Hakkas, Hainanese, Foochows, Henghuas, Shanghainese and Hockchias. In the 19th and early 20th centuries, thousands of Chinese migrants journeyed to Singapore to work as port work- ers, boatmen, quarry workers, plantation workers, rick- shaw pullers, petty tradesmen and hawkers. Some also established themselves as merchants, entrepreneurs, landowners or planters. Many who made their fortune in Singapore served as community leaders who helped the less fortunate through acts of charity. They also founded mutual-help or clan associations called kongsi to help fellow migrants who were in need.

Not to forget, Singapore also has a prominent com- munity of Peranakans or Straits Chinese, the descend- Did you know? ants of Chinese traders who settled in Southeast Asia Chinese women from Canton centuries ago and married local womenfolk. Over the (Guangdong) province once years, they developed a unique hybrid culture that blends, formed the backbone of Sin- among others, Chinese and Malay influences. Peranakan gapore’s construction sector. cuisine, such as ayam buah keluak (stewed chicken with Known as Samsui women candlenuts), and Peranakan fashion such as the sarong (as many originated from kebaya are popular not just among Peranakans but with Sanshui county), these ladies many other Singaporeans. ‘Peranakan’ means ‘native- helped to build many of the born’ in Malay, while ‘Baba’ is a honorific (like Mr) city’s landmarks and other used to address Peranakan men. Peranakan ladies are infrastructure from the 1920s often addressed as ‘Nonya’ or 'Nyonya'. till the 1970s. pg 16 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 17

The Indians Migrants from the Indian subcontinent have lived and worked in Singapore since Raffles’ time. Today, Singaporeans of South Asian origin make up about 9.2 percent of the population. In the 19th century, migrants from South Asia included Chulias who manned boats on the Singapore River, Sepoy soldiers, textile and spice merchants, Chettiar moneylenders and merchant bankers, plantation staff and dock workers from various parts of the subcontinent. The British also sent many Indian convicts to Singapore, where they built many of the city’s monuments such as the Istana and St Andrew’s Cathedral. The use of convict labour ended in 1873, but some of these workers remained in Singapore as shopkeepers, cattle herders, dairymen or municipal workers.

Tamil speakers, who trace their origins to Tamil Nadu in South India and northern Sri Lanka, form the largest group of Indians in Singapore, but the local Indian com- munity also includes the Bengalis, Gujaratis, Malay- alees, Punjabis, Sindhis and Telugus as well as groups Did you know? who speak the Hindi, Kannada and Marathi languages. One of the first Indians to Hybrid groups also emerged: Chitty Melakans are the arrive in Singapore in 1819 descendants of South Indian Hindu merchants who was Narayana Pillai, a trader settled in Malacca and married local womenfolk, while from Penang who landed Jawi Peranakans trace their origin to South Indian Muslim with Raffles. He set up a traders who set up families in Malacca and Penang. brick kiln, became a building Hinduism is the most common religion among Indian contractor and built the Sri Singaporeans. But there are also Indian Singaporeans Mariamman Temple, Singa- who are Muslims, Sikhs, Christians, Jains, Zoroastrians pore’s oldest Hindu temple at or members of the Baha’i Faith. South Bridge Road, in 1828. pg 18 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 19

The Eurasians Eurasians form a small but distinctive ethnic commu- nity that is also one of the oldest in modern Singapore. The term ‘Eurasian’ indicates a person with a mix of European and Asian ancestries, but Eurasian Singapo- reans trace their origins to many regions where such intermarriages took place in the past, including Ma- lacca, India, Ceylon (Sri Lanka), Bencoolen, Macau and Penang as well as Portugal, Holland and Britain. The first Eurasians in Singapore, who arrived soon after Raf- fles founded the port, settled around Waterloo, Queen and Bencoolen Streets, where they built houses and churches. Later, other Eurasian enclaves sprung up in Serangoon, Siglap and Katong; today, the Eurasian As- sociation building is located at Ceylon Road in Katong.

Due to their partly European heritage, many Eurasians were fluent in English and found employment in the colonial civil service. Others were active in journalism, banking, law and medicine. The community also formed associations such as the Singapore Recreation Club and Eurasian Association to serve their cultural and social needs. Eurasians have made significant contributions to Singapore in the social, cultural and economic arenas. Did you know? Dr Benjamin Henry Sheares (1907-1981) served as In the past, many Eurasians Singapore’s second president from 1971 until his death. of Portuguese-Malaccan Edmund William Barker (1920-2001) was a prominent descent often spoke a creole Member of Parliament and cabinet minister, while Hed- (hybrid language) called wig Anuar (b. 1928) is a pioneer in the literary and library Kristang, which contained scene as well as a co-founder of AWARE, a women’s many Portuguese words but advocacy group. used Malay grammar. pg 20 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 21

Signs at the Doorway Art at the doostop: Knowing Who’s The Kolam The objects around your neighbour's doorway can You may see on the floor Next Door: give helpful clues as to their identity. But don’t make before the doorways of your assumptions about your neighbour’s ethnicity based on Hindu neighbours an art- A Multi-cultural Guide the symbols at their door, though. For instance, Muslim work called the kolam. Made households may be Malay, Indian or Chinese, while Chris- from rice flour, the kolam is a to Your Neighbours tian families could be Chinese, Indian or Eurasian. symmetrical pattern of lines and dots featuring natu- Muslim families may place above their front door a hilal ral motifs such as flowers, (a crescent moon and star), which symbolises Islam, fruit, animals or shells. The or a small framed plaque featuring an excerpt from the kolam is a sign of welcome Quran (the Muslim holy book). Christian households to Lakshmi, the Goddess of may place a cross, a crucifix or an icon of a saint over Prosperity, and also a food their doorway. Taoist families may stick small charms or source for animals, which a bagua (an eight-sided symbol of Taoism) on the wall by fulfils Hinduism’s call to care for all life forms. Hindus or above the door; there may also be a small altar by the who originate from North doorway or a suspended thurible where incense is offered India use lentils, beans and to Tian Gong (the Lord of Heaven). other coloured materials to create the rangoli, a kolam- Hindu homes may have a picture of a deity and/or hang like decoration. mango leaves, which are believed to ward off evil and purify the air, above their doorway. The family will let the mango leaves dry naturally until the next auspicious occasion when they will be replaced by fresh leaves. On some doorways, you may also see a thoranam (mango leaves strung with flowers), a symbol of welcome. At Remember! the entrance of Sikh homes, you may see an image of a The items you see at your Khanda: two single-edged swords crossed at the bottom neighbour’s doorway are and flanking a double-edged sword and circle. A symbol often sacred objects. So of the Sikh religion, the Khanda represents the need to don’t touch or move them balance obligations to society and spiritual aspirations. without your neighbour’s permission and remind your children to be careful, lest they knock or break your neighbour’s things while running or playing nearby. pg 22 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 23

Eppadi Irukiraai Nandraaga Irukiren

GREETING YOUR NEIGHBOURS Shake hands or salam? Don’t be surprised if your Your neighbours are likely to be fluent in English, Malay neighbour greets which is Singapore's lingua franca. Some older folk, you with a traditional salam however, may be more comfortable with their moth- instead of a handshake. er tongues or dialects and will certainly appreciate The salam is a light palm- your efforts to converse with them in their mother to-palm greeting involving Apa khabar? Khabar baik. tongue. Following are some common phrases and a light brush of one or both means of greeting you may encounter and use when hands or even just the you meet your neighbours. fingertips. What matters Common Mandarin greetings most is the following ges- Common Malay greetings Common Mandarin greetings (rendered in Hanyu ture, in which one brings Simple phrases you can use to greet your Malay neigh- Pinyin or Romanised syllables) include: ‘Zhao an’ the hand towards the heart bours include ‘Selamat pagi’ (Good morning), ‘Selamat (Good morning!), ‘Wu an’ (Good afternoon) and ‘Ni to indicate that the greet- petang’ (Good afternoon), ‘Apa khabar?’ (How are hao ma?’ (How are you?), to which you could reply ing has been accepted with you?) and ‘Sudah makan?’ (Have you eaten?). To these, with ‘Hen hao’ (I am well), ‘Xie xie’ (Thank you) or ‘Bu sincerity. one would reply with ‘Khabar baik, terima kasih’ (I am ke qi’ (Don’t mention it). When departing, people usu- well, thank you) or ‘Sudah, terima kasih’ (I have eaten, ally say ‘Zai jian’ (Goodbye) to each other. Other useful Remember! thank you). Other useful phrases include ‘Nama saya…’ phrases include: ‘Dui bu qi’ (I am sorry), ‘Wo bu ming Shaking hands or exchang- (My name is…), ‘Saya tak faham’ (I don’t understand), bai’ (I don’t understand) and ‘Wan an’ (Good night!). ing salam typically takes ‘Selamat datang’ (Welcome), ‘Selamat jalan’ (Goodbye) place between people of and ‘Selamat malam’ (Good night). Common Indian greetings the same gender. So don’t Following are some common Tamil phrases: ‘Kaalai be offended if a Malay Muslim greetings Vanakam’ (Good morning), ‘Vanakam’ (Good day), neighbour of the opposite Muslims often greet each other with the phrase ‘Eppadi Irukiraai’ (How are you?), ‘Nandraaga Irukiren’ (I sex declines your hand, ‘Assalamu’alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh’, am fine), ‘Nandri’ (Thank you), and ‘Ungalai Meendum as he or she may not be meaning ‘May the Peace, Blessings and Mercy of Sandhikiraen’ (Good bye/See you again). The greeting comfortable doing so. Also, Allah be upon you’, or simply ‘Assalamu’alaikum’. To ‘Vanakam’ can also be used to say goodbye. Sikhs greet try to use your right hand this, one replies, ‘Wa’alaikumus salaam wa rahmatul- each other with the phrase 'Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, to exchange greetings lahi wa barakatuh’ (‘And the same to you too and may Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh', which means ‘The Khalsa of God, and handle food, as the Allah grant you His Blessings), or simply ‘Wa’alaikumus Victory is of God.’ A shorter greeting is Sat Sri Akal or left hand, which is used to salaam’. If you are a Muslim, you may exchange greetings ‘God is the ultimate truth’. If you are not a Sikh as well, wash oneself in the toilet, with your fellow Muslim neighbours this way. simply greet your Sikh neighbours in English. is considered unclean. pg 24 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 25

Indian traditions in greeting Making Sense of Names The traditional way of greeting is to smile and nod your head while placing your palms together at chest level Singaporeans do not always follow the western con- in a pose known as Vanakam in Tamil and Namaste in vention of a first or given name followed by a family Hindi. Younger people may shake hands in the West- name. Following is a simple guide to making sense of ern style, but some Indian ladies may prefer not to. If local names. But if you are still unsure how to address you are meeting a female Indian neighbour for the first your neighbour and members of their family, don’t be time, shake her hand only if she offers to. Otherwise, afraid to politely ask, ‘How should I address you?’ simply smile and nod your head in greeting.

Eurasian greetings Malay names Most Eurasians in Singapore are very conversant in Surnames are not used. Instead, a child is given a first English. Eurasians of Portuguese-Malaccan extract, es- name followed by the father’s name, for instance, pecially older folks, may use a creole (hybrid language) Ahmad bin Ibrahim or Siti binte Abdullah. 'Bin’ and called Kristang, which has a Malay-like grammar and 'binte’ mean ‘son of’ and ‘daughter of’ respectively includes various Portuguese words and phrases. and may be left out in some names, or when a woman gets married. You can address your neighbours by Have you eaten? Where are you going? their first names, using the honorific ‘Encik’ (or ‘Pakcik’ Your neighbours, regardless of race or religion, may greet for older men) for gentlemen or ‘Puan’ (‘Makcik’ for you with the phrase “Have you eaten?” or “Have you had older ladies) for women, i.e. Encik Ahmad or Puan your lunch or dinner?” in English or their mother tongues. Siti. Unmarried ladies may also be addressed with the Remember! It’s not meant to be intrusive but simply a polite way of honorific ‘Cik’ (Miss). Married ladies will usually retain Pointing at someone or greeting and showing neighbourly concern. If someone their maiden name. If your neighbour has performed something using your index greets you this way, to be polite, you may simply reply the religious pilgrimage to Mecca, he or she should be finger is considered rude by with “Yes, thank you, and what about you?”. Similarly, a addressed with the title 'Haji' or 'Hajjah' (for ladies) all communities in Singa- Malay neighbour may greet you with ‘Awak pergi mana?’ instead of ‘Encik’ or ‘Puan’. pore. If you need to indicate or ‘Where are you going?’ if he or she meets you along the at something, make a fist corridor or downstairs. The question is not meant to be Family members (but not strangers or neighbours) with your hand and direct intrusive either, and you can reply with a general answer may address each other with informal terms of af- the tip of your thumb at the such as ‘Jalan jalan’ (going for a walk) or ‘I’m going to the fection such as ‘Kakak’ (older sister), ‘Adik’ (younger object instead. market/shops/park’. brother/sister), ‘Abang’ (older brother), 'Ayah/Bapa/ Abah' (father), 'Ibu/Emak/Mak' (mother), ‘Datuk’ (grandfather) and ‘Nenek’ (grandmother). pg 26 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 27

Chinese names Indian names Chinese names usually consist of a fam- Indians of South Indian origin usually do BEING GOOD ily name or surname, such as Chan, Lee, not use surnames, but have a given name GUESTS Lim, Ng, Tan or Wong (Owyang/Ouyang that comes after the name of their father, is rare two-character surname), followed e.g. Premkumar Sivasothi or Sivasothi s/o Your neighbours, after getting by a given name consisting of two char- Premkumar, with s/o and d/o meaning ‘son to know you, may invite you to acters (rarely one character), such as Mei of’ and ‘daughter of’ respectively. Often, the their homes for tea or a meal, Lin or Kok Sheng. Between strangers or in father’s name is initialised, so a person may and you are welcome to re- formal situations, people usually address introduce himself as P. Sivasothi, and you ciprocate with an invitation to each other by their surnames, e.g., Mr Loh, should address him as Mr Sivasothi accord- your own home at a later time. Madam Neo, while close friends and family ingly. Married women typically replace their Following are some simple members would use a person’s given name. father’s name with that of their husband. If pointers on being a polite and Many Chinese Singaporeans also have you are not sure how you should address an culturally sensitive guest and a Western names, which are placed before Indian neighbour, ask him or her politely. For guide to what you may see in their surnames, e.g. John Tan, Mary Ng, your neighbours who are Sikhs by faith, men your neighbour’s home. even though they may not be Christians. should be addressed as Mr Singh and mar- When a lady marries, she often takes on her ried women as Mrs Singh. You can address husband’s surname, but not always. Some single ladies as Miss Kaur. (Do note that not Off with your shoes! married women may also adopt a combined all men with the surname ‘Singh’ are Sikhs, Don’t forget to take off your surname, such as Mrs Tan-Lim (Tan being and some Sikh men may not wear turbans). shoes before entering your the husband’s surname). neighbour’s home. This practice Why does my neighbour’s child call me is almost universal in Singapore, Sometimes, you may hear a neighbour, ‘uncle’ or ‘auntie’ even though we are not regardless of race. Visitors especially a child, being addressed by a nick- related? remove their footwear before name. The child's family may have chosen Children in Singapore of all races are often stepping indoors in order not to this nickname, which may not be his or her taught to address adults they meet, even non- dirty the floor and as a sign of real name, out of the superstition that this relatives, as ‘uncle’ or ‘auntie’, rather than Mr respect for their host. This act would confuse evil spirits seeking to harm or Mrs So-and-So. This is meant to be a polite also prevents one from soiling the child. This is sometimes practised by and easy-to-remember way of addressing one’s religious objects such as Mus- some Chinese as well as Malay families. seniors, so don’t be offended. lim prayer rugs or the altars of Hindu and Taoist families. pg 28 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 29

Visiting your Malay neighbours

If you plan to drop by your Malay neighbour’s home, do remember to avoid the Muslim evening prayer times: Maghrib (after sunset, around 7 pm) and Isyak (shortly after 8 pm). Visiting at these times may cause incon- venience as your neighbours could be in the midst of pre-prayer ablutions or performing their prayers. It is better to drop by after Isyak. Remember! Traditionally, Malay households have separate areas If you have pets, it is generally for the men and women when entertaining guests. If polite to ask if a neighbour is your neighbour maintains this custom, the men and comfortable with the animal women may be seated in different rooms. If there are before letting it approach the many people in the flat, you may find yourselves sit- person. Dogs are regarded as ting on the floor. Don’t sit on the prayer rug or squat ritually unclean by Muslims, though! For the sake of decorum, ladies should sit with so don’t allow your pet to their legs tucked against the body, with the feet facing wander into their homes and away from people. Showing the soles of one’s feet to avoid letting your dog loose if another person is considered rude in Malay culture. you have Muslim guests. For similar reasons, men should sit with their legs crossed rather than with stretched out or spread apart. Remember! Your neighbours will usually offer you some snacks The head, from the neck up, and drinks when you are visiting. Accept the food gra- is considered sacred and ciously and nibble a little, even if you are not hungry, vulnerable, so don’t touch to be polite. In conversation, the Malay community the head or neck of your prizes gentleness, tact and refinement. You should Malay neighbours, including avoid using words that are offensive, vulgar or insulting children, without permis- to others. Talking about sensitive topics such as sex, sion. Also, your neighbours religion and politics, if you are not close friends, is also may feel uncomfortable if best avoided. Also, if you see a copy of the Quran, the you perform intimate acts Muslim holy book, in your neighbour’s home, do ask like touching and kissing for permission if you wish to touch or read from it as with your friends or family this is a sacred book, and treat it with utmost respect. members while visiting. pg 30 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 31

Visiting your Chinese neighbours

Chinese families are usually Buddhist, Taoist or Chris- tian in faith. If your neighbour is Taoist, you may see an altar in their home, which serves as a shrine for ances- tor worship. A Taoist family will make regular offerings of food, tea and incense and pray before sandalwood tablets believed to be inhabited by the spirits of their deceased ancestors. There may be also small statues or images of deities such as Guan Yin (the Goddess of Mercy) and Guan Gong (the Martial God of Wealth) on the altar. You should not touch the items and offerings on the altar or place your belongings on it. Remind your children too, in case they get curious. Visiting a Christian You may see in your neighbour's home paintings, household If your neighbours are scrolls, carvings or other decorations depicting auspi- Christian, you may see in their cious symbols such as dragons, phoenixes, horses, homes objects such as a cross qilin (Chinese unicorn), carp, tortoises, guardian lions, or crucifix, as well as a Bible cranes, lotuses and peonies. Some households also or pictures featuring biblical have their furniture arranged according to fengshui or scenes and passages. Catholic geomancy principles. Water features such as small families may also have an altar fountains and aquaria are also popular domestic fea- with small statues of the holy tures as they are believed to be good for fengshui. family (the Lord Jesus Christ with his earthly parents, the Do greet the family members, starting from the eldest. Virgin Mary and Joseph), A polite host will usually offer you some refreshment bottles of holy water (which is and titbits. Even if you are not thirsty or hungry, it is sprinkled on family mem- gracious to show your appreciation by accepting and bers as a blessing), rosaries (a sipping the drink or nibbling a little. Also, if your host garland of beads used during offers you a cup or glass, accept it with both hands. prayer) and a Bible. Do treat If you don’t know a member of the family well, avoid these items with respect. Sometimes, you may also see asking personal questions such as age and salary. You artefacts of different religions can make polite enquiries about their health, children, in the same household, as in- studies or hobbies instead. It is also considered impo- dividual members of the same lite to point at someone with your index finger. Don’t family may profess different call people by ‘hey!’ or ‘eh!’. Address them by their faiths. proper names and titles. pg 32 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 33

Visiting your Indian neighbours

Amongst the Indian community, families and friends usually visit each other during weekends or in the evenings, and bring with them gifts such as sweets, snacks and fruit for their hosts, especially the children. Your Indian neighbours, after getting to know you, may invite you to their homes and you can do likewise. If you plan to visit your Indian neighbours for the first time, though, it is best to avoid Thursdays, which are regarded as inauspicious. Some traditional families believe that a first visit made on a Thursday will result in friendships that do not last.

Unlike traditional Chinese families, the family altar in a Hindu household is usually kept out of sight from visi- tors. Statues and icons of deities are usually found in a The Hindu family altar This separation of the separate place that is out of view, which may be a sim- sacred and worldly is done ple cabinet with curtains or doors, or an entire room on purpose as Hindus converted into a prayer room. Some families may use believe that sacred objects their flat's store room for this purpose. Indian Muslim should not be placed near households may have prayer rugs or a copy of the impurities or be seen by Quran in their flats. You should avoid stepping on or individuals in a ‘polluted’ touching these sacred items. In Sikh homes, there may state. Worshipers must be a room set aside for prayers as well as a dedicated hence take a ritual shower place for Sri Guru Granth Sahib, the Sikh holy book. and pray before approach- ing an altar. Hindu families Your hosts will serve you some drinks and may offer to may hold a special house- prepare a meal before the visitors leave. If you are not warming ceremony when in a rush, it is polite to accept. Some older, more tradi- they move to a new flat. tional women in Indian families may prefer to remain A priest will offer prayers in the background and not take part in open conversa- and sprinkle holy water to tion with guests. They may also refrain from shaking purify the house before the family sets up their altar. hands with visitors. Do respect their decision. Also, Essential items on the altar when visiting, avoid praising a person or his posses- include a kutthuvilakku or sions too much. Some believe this will attract the Evil standing oil lamp, flowers, Eye and cause harm to the one being praised. Touching incense, incense sticks, another person, especially their head, is also taboo if fruits and coconuts. you are not a relative or close friend. pg 34 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 35

common household items. Out of polite- formal occasions. A Haji usually wears Gifts and Giving ness, your host will usually try to decline Attire and Dressing a white skullcap called a kopiah, while a the gift before eventually receiving it. If Hajjah may wear a baju kurung with a white Gifts are not really necessary when you visit a gift is wrapped, it is considered rude to When visiting your neighbours, remember headscarf. your neighbours, but they are a nice gesture open it in front of the guest. Avoid these to dress modestly, as some older folk may of goodwill and welcome, especially if you or items: handkerchiefs (which imply partings), take offence at clothing that is too revealing Generally, Chinese Singaporeans wear your neighbours have just moved in. scissors (which suggest the cutting of ties), or have inappropriate or obscene images Western attire for everyday occasions. umbrellas (a symbol of separation), shoes or words. Some ladies may don the qipao or cheong- Among the Malay community, there are few (the word for shoe, ‘xie’ sounds like the word sam for formal or special events, while a taboos with regard to gifts, but if you wish to for ‘evil’) or clocks (which speak of mortal- Your Malay neighbours may, depending on sarong kebaya (which is based on the Malay present foodstuffs to your Malay neighbours, ity). Some Buddhists do not eat beef or are the occasion, wear Western attire or don kebaya but incorporates Chinese- and remember that alcohol and pork products vegetarian, so do enquire about their diet traditional Malay costumes. Some women Western-style motifs and embroidery) and are haram or prohibited to Muslims. Usually, before you bring edible gifts. wear a tudung or headscarf covering the hair, kasut manek (beaded flat shoes) may be packaged foodstuff that Muslims are permit- ears, neck and bosom, which is worn over a worn by Peranakan ladies during festive or ted to consume will have a halal (meaning If you are bringing gifts for your Indian loose tunic called a baju kurong or over their formal outings. Some older Chinese women ‘permissible’) symbol on the label, which neighbours, suitable items include sweets, working attire. For festive occasions, many may wear a samfu, a pantsuit consisting of indicates that the product has been certified fruit and flowers, especially jasmine, which ladies choose the sarong kebaya, an elegant a short-sleeved blouse and trousers that al- as fit for consumption by Muslims by the is a symbol of happiness. If your neighbours blouse with a form-fitting wrap skirt. Malay lows the wearer to move about comfortably. religious authorities. Also, avoid items such are Hindu, avoid beef and leather, as the cow is men may wear a Baju Melayu, a stiff-collared During festive occasions, traditional Chinese as wineglasses, knives (which are weapons) a sacred animal to Hindus. If they are Muslims, long-sleeved shirt worn over trousers and a also favour bright red clothing and frown and objects that symbolise other religions do not give alcohol, pork or non-halal food kain sarong or kain samping (a wrap-around upon dark-coloured or all-white attire, which or which may be seen as idols to Islam. For products. For special occasions, gold jewel- sarong). Completing this formal set is a are associated with mourning. children, toys should not be in the form of a lery or cash in an envelope with turmeric velvet cap called the songkok. A shirt made dog or pig, which are animals Muslims are smeared on the corners are acceptable. with batik patterns is also appropriate for forbidden to touch. Money should be given in odd, not even, sums, as the latter in Hindu belief suggests For Chinese neighbours, acceptable gifts finality and endings, whereas an odd num- include foodstuffs, fruit, fabric, handicrafts or ber signifies continuation and growth. pg 36 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 37

Among the Indian community, many ladies Signs on the forehead Faith in Harmony: Baha’i Faith continue to wear their traditional attire on a You may notice lines of grey powder What Singaporeans The Baha’i Faith was founded in Persia by regular basis. The most well-known item is on the foreheads of some Hindu believe in Baha’u’llah (1817-1892), who taught that the saree (or sari), a long cotton cloth draped neighbours. This is the viboothi or there is only one God, one human race and around the body in different styles, depend- thiruneeru, holy ash that serves With a long history of immigration from all that history will progress until humanity is ing on the practices of each Indian com- as a reminder that every individual over the world, it is not surprising that Sin- united into a peaceful and integrated global munity. One free end may be draped over ultimately returns to dust. Hindu gapore is home to a diverse number of world society. In line with these beliefs, followers the head, a style favoured by some Indian women may apply a round mark, religions. Today, ten major religions are rep- of the Baha’i Faith support equal rights for Muslim and North Indian ladies. The saree called a pottu in Tamil and bindhi resented in the Inter-Religious Organisation, all men and women, universal education and is worn over a choli, a short blouse. Married in Hindi, on their foreheads. A red Singapore or IRO, which was formed in 1949 sustainable development, and regard true Hindu women wear a mangalsutra or thali, bindhi indicates a married woman; to promote religious harmony and foster religion to be in harmony with reason and a gold pendant that symbolises matrimony. Single women traditionally apply a mutual respect among believers of different science. The Baha'i community in Singapore, Some women also wear a string of jasmine black bindhi, but fashionable ladies faiths. For more information about the IRO, which is multiracial in composition, gathers flowers in their hair. Also popular, especially may choose a colour that matches visit www.iro.sg for devotional sessions at a Baha'i Centre in but not only with Sikh women, is the salwar their attire. Cantonment Road. kameez or Punjabi suit, which consists of a Buddhism long upper tunic worn over a pair of loose Buddhism was founded about 2,500 years trousers. Some Indian men, if they are not Hands of henna ago by Siddhartha Gautama, a prince who in Western attire, may wear a dhoti, a white You may notice elaborate, brown became Lord Buddha and taught the Four cloth tied at the hips, with a shirt over it. patterns painted on the hands and Noble Truths about the nature, causes and Sikh men usually (but not always) wear a feet of some Indian women. This is end of suffering. Major Buddhist temples in turban, which can be in different colours. henna, a plant paste applied during Singapore include the Phor Kark See Temple special events such as engagements at Bright Hill Road, Shuang Lin Monastery in and weddings. Henna is believed to Toa Payoh and the Buddha Tooth Relic Tem- help heal the skin, prevent thinning ple in Chinatown. An interesting instance hair and cool the skin in hot weather. of cross-cultural exchange can be seen at Many Malay ladies also adorn their Waterloo Street, where devotees who visit hands with henna prior to their wed- the popular Buddhist Kwan Im Thong Hood dings and some Chinese Singapore- Cho Temple will also pray at the Hindu Sri ans have discovered and adopted the Krishna Temple next door, where an altar practice as well. and urn for joss sticks have been set up. pg 38 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 39

Christianity Islam Judaism Taoism Christians follow the teachings of Jesus Islam, which means peace and submission Jews believe that man was created to fulfil Taoism refers to the Dao or ‘the Way’ and Christ, the Son of God and Messiah who to God’s will, was revealed by God to the God’s will and that God has made a cov- is believed to have been established in the came to earth to save man from his sins, last prophet, Muhammad (570-632 CE), enant to never abandon His Chosen People reign of the Yellow Emperor in 2,697 BCE. which are recorded in the Bible. In life, who conveyed the divine revelations he as long as they worship and serve Him. Taoists believe that everything in the world Christians follow Christ’s admonition to love received in the holy Quran. A Muslim is one Devout Jews observe the Sabbath, a day obeys unchanging natural laws, knowl- God and love one another just as God has who submits to the One God called Allah. of rest that begins from Friday evening till edge of which can help one attain a life in loved them. Christians worship at churches In Singapore, Muslims include members of Saturday night, and consume only food that harmony with the Dao. There are more than and take part in regular Holy Communion or the Malay, Indian, Pakistani and Arab com- is kosher or 'clean'. The first Jews to settle in four hundred Taoist temples in Singapore; Mass services, in which believers consume munities. Across the island, there are more Singapore were Baghdadi Jews from India, these include the Cheng Huang or City God bread and wine to remember Christ’s sacri- than 70 mosques, where Muslims gather for who worshiped at Synagogue Street until Temple at Toa Payoh, Yueh Hai Ching Tem- fice on the cross. The local Christian com- communal prayers every Friday. If you live 1878, when the Maghain Aboth Synagogue ple at Philip Street (a National Monument) munity includes Roman Catholics, several near a mosque, you may hear the muezzin’s at Waterloo Street was opened. A second and Thian Hock Keng Temple at Telok Ayer Protestant denominations as well as Eastern distinctive cry on Fridays as well as special synagogue, Chesed-El, was established at Street (a National Monument). Taoists visit Orthodox, Coptic and Syrian Orthodox occasions such as Hari Raya Puasa. As a Oxley Rise in 1905. Both synagogues are these temples to offer incense to the deities congregations. mark of consideration to nearby residents, National Monuments. as a way of giving thanks for blessings and the mosques typically have the muezzin’s to convey messages and requests. Hinduism loudspeakers turned inwards. Sikhism Hinduism arose not from a single founder Sikhism was founded in the Punjab region by Zoroastrianism but from the spiritual experiences of many Jainism Guru Nanak in 1469 CE. ‘Sikh’ means a disci- Zoroastrianism, one of the oldest world sages, saints and seers over the centuries. Jainism does not involve belief in a crea- ple who believes in One God and follows the religions and the first monotheistic one, Hindus believe in one God who manifests tor God. There are three main principles in teachings of the Ten Gurus as enshrined in traces its roots to the teachings of Zoroaster himself in different aspects or forms, for Jainism: Ahimsa (non-violence), Anekantvad the Sri Guru Granth Sahib. The religion calls Spitama, a Persian prophet who taught of instance, Brahma the creator, Vishnu the (plurality of views) and Aparigraha (non- on believers to adopt a practical life of toler- one Almighty God, Ahura Mazda, the Lord preserver and Siva the destroyer. Other com- possessiveness). Jains practise Ahimsa by ance and service to humanity. Singapore has of Wisdom. Zoroastrians focus on three monly worshiped deities include Ganesha, showing compassion for all life. Hence, Jains seven Sikh temples or Gurdwaras, such as key principles: good thoughts, good words Krishna and Murugan. Hindus believe that consume no meat and abstain from animal the Silat Road Temple at Jalan Bukit Merah, and good deeds, which translate to a life of man's destiny is shaped by karma and all products. In Singapore, early Jain migrants the Central Sikh Temple at Towner Road honesty, integrity, compassion and charity. life is sacred, to be loved and revered. Thus, gathered at a house in Waterloo Street until and Khalsa Dharmak Sabha at Niven Road. Zoroastrians in Singapore are also known as some Hindus adopt a strict vegetarian 1972, when the Singapore Jain Religious Gurdwaras regularly serve food to visitors Parsis, as they are descended from believers diet. In Singapore, there are more than 25 Society was registered. The community then and the needy in the community; vegetar- who originated in Parsa in Persia. In the 19th temples where Hindus gather to worship at moved to a two-storey prayer hall called Jain ian meals are prepared so that the food is century, some Parsis moved to Singapore from regular prayer sessions called pooja. Sthanak at Yasin Road in 1978. acceptable to all. India to work as merchants and professionals. pg 40 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 41

HEARTLAND RITES & CELEBRATIONS

Weddings and births to birthdays and funerals – in this chapter we explain how Singapore’s communities mark these milestones of life, and how you can join in to share in the joy of the occasion or convey your condolences as a neighbour in a sensi- tive manner. These heartland rites often take place in homes, corridors and void decks in HDB estates, and the sounds of the accom- panying celebrations are rituals are taken in stride by neighbours who have learnt to ac- cept and appreciate the significance of these brief but meaningful moments.

Marriage & Weddings Marriage is an important milestone for Singaporeans of all cultures. Weddings are hence often celebrated in a major way, with much preparation taking place long before the actual big day. pg 42 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 43

MALAY WEDDINGS Islamic or Syariah laws. The akad nikah may to the persandingan venue, which may be Taking centrestage is a decorated pelamin take place at the bride’s home, the couple’s lavishly decorated to resemble an outdoor or raised platform on which the couple sits Proposal and engagement new home or a mosque or function hall. ‘ballroom’. Throughout the wedding recep- to preside over the reception. Malays refer When they intend to wed, many couples tion, which may last an entire afternoon till to the newlywed couple as Raja Permaisuri practise a customary proposal involving Usually held on the day after the akad nikah, evening, guests and well-wishers will arrive sehari or King and Queen for the day, as the their family members. After the proposal the majlis persandingan or wedding reception and depart at their convenience, and food is bride and groom are treated like royalty dur- comes the tunang or engagement ceremony, is the public celebration of the marriage. In freshly prepared and served by an army of ing the majlis persandingan. in which the the families exchange gifts and the morning, the groom arrives at his bride’s cooks or caterers. discuss the mas kahwin or marriage fee. If home, often accompanied by kompang you are invited to this event, usually held at (handheld drums) players and friends and the bride’s home, suitable gifts for the cou- relatives bearing bunga mawar (flowers in a Joining The Celebration ple include cash, jewellery or quality fabric. palm tree-like arrangement). If you are invited to a majlis persandingan, dress formally for the special occasion. When you arrive, congratulate the parents of the couple, then exchange greetings with the newlyweds. For Akad Nikah and Majlis Persandingan Malay couples who live in HDB estates wedding gifts, many Malays have borrowed the Chinese practice of giving cash in hongbao The akad nikah is the actual marriage often hold their majlis persandingan at void but using money packets instead. You can find these money packets in neighbourhoods such as Kampong Glam and Geylang Serai. If you are invited to take part in the couple's blessing ceremony during which the couple are decks or under large tents at a nearby ceremony, take a handful of scented leaves and petals and scatter them onto the open palms of declared husband and wife by a kadhi or an common space. Bunga manggar or bamboo the couple. Next, sprinkle some rice flour mixed with water onto the couple’s hands. Finally, authorised religious official. In Singapore, poles with colourful sprays of paper on the scatter some rice over their shoulders and sprinkle some scented water onto their open palms. Muslim Marriages are not registered at the tip are often tied to nearby structures such After completing the blessing, you will receive a bunga telur or hardboiled “flower-egg” as a Civil Marriage registry but at the Registry as pillars, lamp posts and bus-stops; these token of appreciation. Before leaving, remember to exchange salam with the newlyweds. of Muslim Marriages and are governed by serve as handy signs to lead the guests pg 44 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 45

Chinese Weddings ‘one life, one lifetime”, a saying associated with wedding vows. The 9th is also a popular Wedding banquets Before the wedding choice, as ‘nine’ (gau) sounds like ‘long- Many Chinese families hold lavish wedding dinners at a hotel or When a couple and their families have lasting’ in Cantonese. The 8th lunar month restaurant. If you are invited, do remember to wear formal attire agreed to a union, you may witness the nacai is also popular, as this is when the moon, a and pack a hongbao and pass it to the couple or their family at the or exchange of gifts which takes place a few symbol of faithful love, is particularly bright. welcome table. The money in the hongbao, which should be an days before the wedding. Don’t be surprised During this period, hotels and restaurants are even sum (odd figures are reserved for funerals), serves as a gift to to see an assortment of gifts being sent next often fully booked for wedding dinners. the newlyweds to help them offset the cost of the dinner, which door if the bride-to-be is your neighbour. can be high. The gifts include hongbao (red packets con- The Big Day taining cash), red candles with phoenix and If the bride lives next door to you, expect Don’t be surprised if the actual dinner doesn’t start on time, dragon symbols, and gold jewellery. a riot of activity on the wedding day. The though. Many Singaporeans will arrive fashionably late, not because they are tardy but because they do not want to be seen bride and her family will be up very early in as greedy for a meal, and the hosts wish to have everybody seated The importance of dates the morning to prepare for the arrival of the before serving the food. You could use this time to get to know This refers not to dating couples, but wed- groom. Come morning, the groom will arrive the couple’s friends and relatives. ding dates. For the Chinese, the 7th lunar and be teased by the bride's 'sisters' (close month (July-August) which coincides with female friends and kin) before he is allowed During the dinner, the newlyweds will go to all the tables to thank the Festival of the Hungry Ghosts is a taboo in. The couple will then kneel and offer tea the guests and have their photos taken with everyone. It is customary period for weddings as well as other im- to their parents, a ceremony which formally for the guests to rise and join in a few lusty rounds of ‘Yum Seng!’ or portant events such as starting a business. seals the marriage according to tradition ‘Bottoms up’ to toast the couple and express their best wishes. And Many couples select auspicious dates such and is performed by most Chinese families when the dinner is over, the newlyweds and their families will as 1 March 2014, as numerically, this date regardless of religion as a separate rite from thank every guest at the doorway for gracing the occasion. (1.3.14) sounds like the Mandarin phrase the legal signing of the marriage register. pg 46 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 47

Indian WeddingS couple will sit on a raised dais before trays you with rosewater and offer you flowers, morning of the wedding, everybody gathers of fruit and flowers, oil lamps and a ceremo- sandalwood paste and a red bindhi paste in a temple before the Sri Guru Granth Sahib, Different Indian communities in Singapore nial fire. Loud music accompanies the ritual called kunkumam. Use your right middle the Sikh holy book, with the bride sitting to will have their own variations in wedding as this believed to help drown out ill-feelings finger to dab the sandalwood paste on your the groom's left. A master of ceremonies or traditions. But the following account pro- or inauspicious words. A gold chain and wrist or the middle of your forehead; then priest then leads the families in prayers and vides a general guide to these rituals. pendant called the thali is the most impor- dab the red paste over the sandalwood. Pin hymns. The Palleh di Rasam is a key rite, in tant item in Hindu weddings. The thali is the flowers to your hair or dress. After the which the bride and groom each hold one A few days before a wedding, couples will blessed by the priest before the groom ties ceremony, you can congratulate the newly- end of a cloth called the pallah. Four sacred hold a Mugurtha Valaiyal or bangle cer- it around the neck of his bride to formally weds and present them with gifts (cash in hymns are recited, while the couple circles emony. The groom's family present the bride seal the marriage. Dates, rock sugar and saf- odd sums, jewellery or household items). the Sri Guru Granth Sahib clockwise. The cou- with bangles and she has her hands decorated fron rice are distributed to the guests who Before leaving, you will be given a traditional ple is then blessed and offered gifts before with henna. Later, on the actual wedding day, a then throw saffron rice on the couple, who sweetmeat as a blessing. they proceed to their matrimonial home. Tamil bride and her family may set out for the will circle the ceremonial fire thrice before wedding venue half a day ahead to prepare for kneeling before the priest, their parents and If you are invited to a Sikh wedding, wear the ceremony. But sometimes, the weddings elders to seek their blessings. Sikh Weddings attire that will let you sit down comfortably may be held very early in the morning. on the temple floor. Also, all visitors to Sikh Ceremonial norms Sikh weddings are highly festive and colour- temples must remove their shoes and cover The marriage ceremony or vivaham begins If you are invited, avoid sombre or dark ful celebrations. The bride is decorated their heads with a scarf or handkerchief with prayers to Lord Ganesha, hymns and clothing and remove your shoes before with henna, and there is much dancing and before entering as a sign of respect to the Sri the breaking of a coconut. The garlanded entering the temple. Ushers will sprinkle singing of traditional folk songs. On the Guru Granth Sahib. pg 48 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 49

Eurasian Weddings church services three weeks before the wed- Celebrating an Eurasian wedding a poor young man and a dancing lady. Join in ding day. By custom, the couple, together If you are invited to an Eurasian wedding if you wish, and at the end of the reception, Eurasians traditionally do not practise with their parents, will personally deliver held at a church, remember that this is a for- grab some paper confetti or rose petals to formal matchmaking, as young people usu- wedding invitations to all guests. mal occasion and dress accordingly. You can throw at the couple as they depart for their ally have many chances to mingle and get sing along with the congregation if you wish, new home. to know each other during occasions such A week before the actual wedding, the but if you are not a believer, you should as church services, gatherings and parties bride’s home may be a flurry of activity as abstain from the Mass or Holy Communion Suitable gifts for Eurasian weddings include involving different families. A young man friends, relatives and other well-wishers turn if this sacrament is held; simply decline the useful household items such as irons, toast- intending to marry a young lady, however, up to help her in her preparations and dine bread and wine and stand or sit quietly until ers and silverware. To avoid multiples of the would be expected to make a formal request with her family. On the morning of her wed- the sacrament has been performed. same item, some couples may use a wed- to the girl’s father for her hand in marriage. If ding, female friends and relatives will help ding registry listing preferred items, which the father consents, both families then meet the bride dress up, while her parents will put Wedding receptions are celebratory occa- individual guests can purchase so that du- to discuss the wedding proceedings. the bridal veil in place before she departs sions. Guests will make speeches, toast the plicate gifts are avoided. Traditionally, cash for the church. Weddings are usually held couple and tease them with stories of their gifts were not regarded to be in good taste, Some families may hold an engagement on a Saturday, with hymns, prayers and an youthful (mis)endeavours. There may be but hongbaos are usually acceptable or even party, with a priest blessing the engagement exchange of vows and rings before a priest, a live band and many guests will take the welcomed by young couples today. ring before it is given to the bride-to-be. and sometimes a post-ceremony Mass. This opportunity to dance to popular music. One Thereafter, the marriage banns (public an- is often followed by a guest reception, which particularly well-known song is Jingkli Nona, nouncements) will be made during Sunday may be at a nearby restaurant or hotel. a Portuguese tune about true love between pg 50 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 51

Malay customs Chinese customs Pregnancy A pregnant lady should not see, hear or talk To ensure that an expectant mother is in and Births about negative things, so that the baby will good health, she is given tonic or ‘heaty’ be cheerful. She must also watch her speech foodstuffs such as chicken essence, ginger, The arrival of a new member of the family and diet to avoid misfortune or illness. Other fortified wine and herbs. These foodstuffs is a cause for celebration in all cultures. taboos include: not bathing after the evening are also suitable gifts for the family. After Various beliefs and traditions pertaining to prayers, avoiding scary stories and films childbirth, the new mother usually goes both the infant and mother are still actively and not blowing at burning embers. The through a month of confinement, during practiced by Singapore’s communities. woman should also not make fun of others’ which she is not supposed to bathe or wash shortcomings. You may see a bidan or tradi- her hair (although few women adhere strict- tional midwife visiting your pregnant Malay ly to this practice nowadays). In the past, no neighbour. She performs traditional thera- visitors save relatives were permitted, but pies such as melenggang perut (wrapping nowadays, many families are more relaxed the tummy with a long fabric) and massages about this and allow well-wishers to visit. If which provide physical and mental strength you are visiting, avoid praising the child, as to the mother. this is believed to attract the attention of evil spirits that might harm the infant. For gifts, After the baby is born, the parents whisper other than tonic foodstuff, you can give toys, the Muslim calls to prayer into its ears so clothes for the baby, jewellery or a hongbao. that the first sound the child hears is the name of God or Allah. The mother then After the confinement period, families will undergoes confinement for 44 days. Guests celebrate the man yue or baby’s full month. are welcome, but do keep your visit short If you are invited, your neighbours will give so that it does not tire the mother. Gifts for you red hardboiled eggs, which symbolise the family may include flowers, items for wholeness and harmony. If you wish, you the baby, or cash in a money packet. Some may want to give them a hongbao as an families also practise the prophetic tradition expression of your good wishes. Christian of aqiqah, a feast held seven days or more families may have a christening or baptism after the birth. Friends and neighbours are ceremony at their church. If you are invited, invited to the occasion, during which pulut dress for a formal occasion. You need not kuning (rice with turmeric) is served. If you join in the prayers, but your presence and are invited, bring a gift for the child, which a gift for the infant (e.g. a hongbao, clothes, can be toys, jewellery, clothes or cash. toys) will certainly be appreciated. pg 52 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 53

Indian customS Eurasian customs Many Tamil families hold a ceremony Like many other communities in Singapore, called Valaikappu during the 7th month of Eurasian mothers-to-be are advised to pregnancy, in which the mother-to-be is avoid certain foods, scary or tragic films and blessed, adorned with sandalwood paste pictures, or talking about negative things, all and flowers, and presented with bangles. of which may affect the unborn child. After Her forehead will also be dotted with a giving birth, the mother does not bathe for powder called kungkumum. If you are invited, 40 days (modern families may not practise colourful glass bangles for the wrist are ideal this) and wraps her body with layers of gifts, as their ringing is thought to bring cloth to tone her muscles. She also avoids cheer to the unborn child. Some also believe ‘cooling’ foods, which are thought to sap her that a pregnant lady should be surrounded strength and body heat. A lady masseuse by beautiful statues or images so that the may be engaged to massage the young child will be similarly attractive. For this mother and help her regain her figure and reason, the mother will avoid ugly scenes or vitality. environments. Christian households will hold a baptism After a baby is born, the umbilical cord is cut ceremony within a month of a birth. During in a private ceremony. After the 11th day of this ceremony, a priest or pastor will baptise birth, some families may hold a ceremony in the infant and declare the given name of the which the baby is placed before the family child. A common practice amongst Eura- Sikh customs altar; an oil lamp is then lit and food offered sians, even today, is to appoint two godpar- For Sikh families, when a new mother has to the goddess Periyachi, to whose care the ents, chosen from among close friends or the strength to do so, she and her relatives baby is entrusted. If you are invited, suitable relatives, who help to look after the child go to a temple. Amrit or ambrosial nectar gifts include cash, toys, clothes or jewellery and are responsible for him or her in the is prepared in a steel bowl, followed by for the child. The confinement period for the absence of the parents. prayers, hymns and readings from the Sri mother and infant may last from a month Guru Granth Sahib. A few drops of the to 44 days. If you plan to visit during this If you are invited to a baptism ceremony, Amrit are sprinkled on the head and face of period, inform the family beforehand, keep turn up as for a formal church service, but the child, and the rest given to the parents your visits short and avoid wearing black you do not have to take part in the rites if to be consumed. The child is also named or white attire. Your hosts will also give you you are not a believer. Suitable gifts for the during this ceremony. a sweet to be consumed immediately to family include silver for the infant or items celebrate the child’s birth. that the child can wear or use. pg 54 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 55

Indian customs Some Indian families celebrate birthdays in the Western fashion with a party and appro- priate food. Devout Hindus, however, also observe a traditional and private birthday ceremony marked by solemn prayers with the family.

Malay customs Chinese customs The 60th year is a time for celebration. Usu- birthdays Younger Malays may adopt the Western Many Chinese Singaporeans now celebrate ally, the children of a person who reaches practice of a birthday party with their birthdays in the Western tradition with a 60 years of age will pay for and organise Many younger Singaporeans celebrate their friends and relatives. If you are invited, do party. If you are invited, remember to avoid the celebrations, which are held to wish the birthdays with their family and friends in remember to avoid unsuitable gifts such as taboo gifts such as clocks, knives, scissors, individual long life and good health. Married the Western tradition, with a cake, candles alcohol and non-halal food, and dress mod- mirrors or shoes. Pears are also shunned as men who reach 60 will have their entire and a party. But traditionally, birthday estly. Birthdays for individuals over 60 are ‘li’ sounds like the Mandarin word for sepa- wedding ceremony re-enacted in a ritual celebrations have been family affairs for considered landmark events and may be cel- ration. Also avoid wearing white or black called aruvathaam kalyanam, during which many cultures, and in the past, only those ebrated on a grander scale. Such birthday clothes, or giving white flowers as these are the husband once again ties the thali around who have reached the ripe old age of 60 or celebrations may take the form of a kenduri associated with mourning. the neck of his wife, as he did at their wed- more would enjoy such personal festivities. or feast with prayers, gifts of food or other ding ceremony. tokens at a mosque and a buffet meal. In the past, people only celebrated their 60th birthdays, as a full life cycle according to the If you are invited to such an event or other Apart from birthdays, circumcision or Chinese calendar lasts 60 years. Thus, the birthday, dress for the occasion with bright, sunat, in which the foreskin of the penis is 60th birthday is of particular significance. cheerful colours. Gifts are welcome, and if removed, is a very important religious ritual During this event, guests are served shou you are giving money, place it in a greeting for Malay Muslims. Sunat is compulsory for mian (longevity noodles) which must not card or yellow packet. Muslim boys who reach puberty and have be cut when served, and shou tao (longev- completed their reading of the Quran. This ity buns) with sweet fillings. Suitable gifts ceremony was traditionally performed by a for 60th birthdays include: eggs, wine, tonic Tok Mudim or circumciser but is now carried food such as ginseng and dried mushrooms, out by modern doctors. Afterwards, there silk, scrolls with auspicious calligraphy and is usually a feast for relatives and friends. If hongbao. Avoid giving flowers, especially you are invited to this occasion, you can give white blossoms, as some may associate this a cash gift to the family in an envelope. with mourning. pg 56 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 57

Malay funerals Chinese funerals funerals When a person dies, the body is cleaned and When death occurs, a family will be dressed & mourning rites wrapped in pieces of unsewn white cloth. in mourning colours, usually white, black, Camphor, powdered sandalwood and fra- green or navy blue. During the wake, which Death is an inescapable part of life. Singa- grances are applied to the body, which is not may last for three, five or seven days, family pore’s communities have different sets of embalmed. The wake is usually held at the members maintain a constant vigil; it is a rituals related to how families mourn and deceased's home and kept short (24 hours common practice to play mahjong or other remember a loved one who has passed on. at most), as Islam frowns on prolonged games to help each other stay awake at Many of these rites have been adapted to grief. So if you wish to pay your respects to a night. When visiting, avoid wearing colourful accommodate the needs and constraints Malay neighbour, do so as soon as possible clothing, especially red. To offer your condo- of life in HDB estates. This is why funerals, after you learn of his or her death. When lences, you may send wreaths or give cash notably those held by Chinese households, you visit, dress in white and modest attire. in white envelopes, known as bai jin or ‘white may be highly visible to neighbours. This Usually, you will see the body placed in the gold’, to help defray the funeral expenses. segment explains how Singapore’s main centre of the room. If you are not a Muslim, Before you leave, the family may give out ethnic groups conduct their funeral arrange- you may not be invited to see the body at red threads or red packets containing a coin. ments and shares what you, as a neighbour close quarters. Respect the family's wishes, This is believed to ensure a safe journey or friend, can do to pay your respects to the and offer them your condolences. Avoid home for the mourners. You should discard deceased and comfort the family in a way making unnecessary noise during this som- the thread before you reach home to avoid that respects their traditions. bre period. Wreaths are not a Malay tradi- bringing ill-luck to your household. You may tion, but if you send one, a common practice also notice red paper charms on the walls is to disassemble it and sprinkle the flowers of lift lobbies and landings; these are placed over the grave. Cash donations are appropri- to keep bad luck from affecting neighbours. ate, and some families may have a small box After the wake, a band of musicians may or bowl for this purpose. Otherwise, place accompany the hearse as it departs for the your money in an envelope. graveyard or crematorium. pg 58 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 59

Hindu funerals Sikh funerals Eurasian funerals When a death occurs, the body is placed In Sikhism, cremation is also practised. The When death occurs, the body remains at on a raised platform with a cloth covering body of the deceased is washed, dressed home for two to three days. The family the body below the shoulders and the head and covered with a sheet of cloth. It is members wash the body with water and facing south. The body is usually cremated forbidden to wail or beat oneself, so the brandy, to prevent germs from spreading, as soon as possible, so visit quickly so as not mourning family repeats the phrase ‘Wahe- before placing it in a coffin. During the wake, to delay the funeral. Wear simple, sombre guru, Waheguru’ (Wonderful Lord, Wonder- which usually lasts for up to three days, you clothes, do not wear jewellery or make-up ful Lord) to console themselves. As a sign may pay your last respects to the deceased. and avoid touching photos and images in the of mourning, Sikh men may wear turbans of Dress in sombre attire, and if you wish to home. Also do not bring any flowers, food or white or black fabric. give a token to the family, place the cash in gifts. Do not bid farewell when you depart as an envelope with a condolence card. The it is believed that if you do so, then you may At the crematorium, the assembled mourn- family may serve you certain cakes associ- have to attend another such event in the ers hold prayers for the deceased and com- ated with mourning, such as kueh ko chi (a same house. Hindus also believe that after mit the body to the fire. They then gather purple rice cone filled with green beans a funeral, one should return home immedi- at a temple or Gurdwara for readings of or coconut) and goreng sago, a type of ately and shower to be cleansed of negative the holy book Sri Guru Granth Sahib. When doughnut. On the night before the burial, the feelings and forces. Families will conduct the ashes are collected, they are immersed family will maintain a vigil until daybreak. A prayers every night for the soul of the in the sea. Seven days after the funeral, a priest will then lead in a Requiem (Mass for deceased for up to 31 days. On the 31st day prayer called Paath Da Bhog is held in the the dead). Some traditional families believe after the death, special prayers will be held temple where the concluding verses of the that the spirit of the deceased may remain at home by a priest who will start the rituals Guru Granth Sahib are read. The prayer ses- in the home for seven days, and keep a vigil as early as 4.30am. These rituals are not sion seeks to give closure to the bereaved on the seventh day till midnight. A favourite very noisy, but do not be alarmed if you hear family and ease them back into daily life drink, or even the favourite dishes of the bells ringing and mantras being chanted in after the funeral. deceased, may be prepared and left for the the wee hours of the morning next door. departing spirit. pg 60 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 61

WHAT’S (YOUR NEIGHBOUR) COOKING?

Singaporeans, regardless of race or religion, are united in their enjoyment of a good meal and the pride they take in their food. It is safe to say that nearly every per- son you meet will have his or her own favourite tips on CURRY’S A where to find the best selection of food on the island HOT FAVOURITE and which stall or shop sells the best-tasting chicken Singapore’s food culture is rice, nasi lemak, chilli crab or fish-head curry. one in which different com- munities and cultures have borrowed from each other Singapore is not famous as a food paradise without to enrich their own culinary good reason; the communities that call the island traditions. Perhaps no item home have each added their distinctive traditions to best captures this blending Singapore’s culinary landscape. Often, one cuisine of multicultural flavours than would borrow influences from another to create dishes the curry, which every major that Singaporeans can call our very own. Noodles, community in Singapore has which are of Chinese origin, are integral to Malay and embraced and adapted to Indian Muslim specialties such as mee rebus and mee their own tastes. Originating goreng. Fish-head curry was created by an Indian Sin- from India, where kari means gaporean chef who adapted a traditional South Indian ‘sauce’ in Tamil, the practice recipe for his Chinese clients who loved eating fish of adding a spicy gravy to heads. Chinese Singaporeans, especially the Perana- meat, vegetables and rice has kans, have also embraced the creative use of spices spread from Indian cuisine and other local ingredients to create unique delights to the Malay, Chinese and such as chicken rice and laksa. Eurasian communities. Be it Malay curry puffs and beef Many Singaporeans grew up eating their favourite rendang, Hainanese curry rice, Indian fish head curry or local dishes at kopitiam (coffee shops) and hawker Eurasian curry debal (devil's centres in their HDB estates. These humble eateries, curry), recipes inspired by or which house individual stalls selling a selection of based on curry abound and are food and beverage items, provide cheap, safe and fast enjoyed not only by the people options for dining outside, from a quick and hearty who created these dishes but breakfast to an affordable lunch and freshly prepared fellow Singaporeans and many suppertime treats. foreign visitors. pg 62 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 63

Eating, both outdoors and at home, is hawker centres Eating with your typically a communal affair in Singapore. & kopitiam neighbours So each guest will usually have a plate or In the past, street hawkers were very popu- bowl for himself, which is filled with rice or lar, as they provided cheap, fast and tasty Despite all the diversity and quality of food noodles. To this, the guest adds small serv- options for busy working folk. But unregu- available at hawker centres, kopitiam and ings of meat, fish, vegetables or gravy from lated hawkers also posed a public health restaurants, there’s still nothing like food common plates or serving bowls placed at threat, given their poor hygiene. To tackle made with love by one’s own family. Many the centre of the dining table. the problems caused by itinerant hawkers, Singaporeans regard with special fondness the government built several hawker centres the dishes prepared by their parents and Western-style forks and spoons may be around the island in the 1970s and 80s, grandparents, which they enjoyed since provided, but don’t be caught off-guard if providing former hawkers with clean stalls childhood and often require much care and your host prefers to dine in their traditional equipped with modern cooking and clean- effort in the selection of ingredients and manner. Chinese meals will usually come ing facilities. For the public, this meant that cooking. So if your neighbours invite you with chopsticks for picking up individual traditional favourites such as char kway teow, to join them for a home-cooked meal, be it food items as well as rice and noodles, plus roti prata and nasi lemak are now available at during a festival or simply to get to know a flat-bottomed soup spoon. At Malay and centralised locations, with the assurance of each other better, accept the invitation if Indian settings, there may be no utensils as food that is safe, cheap and as tasty as ever. you are able and be prepared to tuck into a people use their right hand to eat. If you ask Coffee shops, popularly known as kopi- meal that is rich in both flavour and tradi- politely, your host, whether he is a Chinese, tiam, are another beloved culinary institu- tion. Having a meal in Singapore, especially Malay or Indian, will gladly provide a spoon tion. Traditionally, these eateries occupied with your neighbours, is generally a no-fuss, and fork, but if you are game enough to shophouses, providing meals and refresh- no-frills affair. Apart from special occasions follow the examples of your hosts, they will ment to people who worked or lived in the such as a wedding or major festival, you are surely appreciate your effort, even if it is not neighbourhood. Many kopitiam have opened not expected to dress up – just be decently as polished as their movements. Of course, shop in HDB estates, offering residents a attired, turn up with a smile (or a suitable if you are not sure how to handle a particular convenient and cosy corner to grab a meal, gift) and show your appreciation for the host item, don’t be shy to ask your hosts for tips sip a cup of tea or coffee, and enjoy a hearty by trying out the dishes and sharing what and tricks on how to tackle the item. supper with family, friends and neighbours. you make of them. pg 64 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 65

Meals with your your plate and avoid letting the food on your Meals with your • When you are not using your chopsticks, Malay neighbours plate touch these serving spoons. When it Chinese neighbours place them by your plate or bowl, with If you are invited to a meal and decide to is your turn, begin by ladling some rice onto Usually, a Chinese home-cooked meal will their tips on a dedicated chopstick rest, or bring some gifts, remember: no pork and your own plate before adding servings of have rice accompanied by an assortment of position them on the edges of your bowl or alcohol as these items are haram or prohib- other dishes. Keep your servings small, so dishes, such as fish, chicken, pork, vegeta- plate. Never stick the ends of your chop- ited to Muslims. Suitable items include fresh you can have seconds or try different items. bles and mushrooms. Every guest will be sticks upright into your bowl; to traditional fruit or cakes and desserts, if you can find a provided a bowl or plate, on which rice is Chinese, this resembles joss sticks in an bakery or shop that is halal certified. If you You may be provided with a fork and spoon, served. Many Chinese families use chop- urn and is thus a highly inauspicious act are not sure whether an item you plan to or request for these utensils, but don’t be sticks or Western-style spoons and forks, during mealtime. bring is suitable, check with your neigh- surprised if the family eats with their hands to handle solid food, while a traditional • Don’t use your chopsticks as skewers or bours before doing so. If you plan to invite in the traditional way. If you choose to use your soup spoon is used for liquids. When you grab food by holding one stick on each Malay neighbours for a meal, do ensure that hands, wash them before eating. Some hosts are helping yourself to the individual dishes hand. This is both clumsy and unrefined. there are halal food options for them. Food may provide a small bowl of water for this placed at the centre of the table, don’t use • Don’t suck or lick the chopsticks. Keep receptacles and utensils used for halal items purpose. When eating, use only your right your own chopsticks or spoon. Use the serv- contact between your lips and the tips of should not come into contact with those hand to handle food. If you are not used to it, ing spoon, tongs or ladle provided for each the chopsticks minimal. used for non-halal foods. For outdoor meals, it is normal to make a bit of a mess at first. dish to place small servings onto your plate check if the restaurant, hotel or eatery has Learn by observing your dining companions. or bowl. halal food or is able to cater to Muslims. Don't be in a rush; it is customary and polite to thank your host for the meal and engage Chopstick do’s and don’ts Seating and serving in conversation before leaving. You may notice that many Chinese prefer to You may find yourself seated at a table or eat using chopsticks – when eating rice invited to take a seat on the floor. If the fam- from a bowl, the bowl is held close to the ily is very traditional, men and women may mouth while the chopsticks are used to also be seated separately. Before the meal, ‘shovel’ portions of rice into the mouth. If the family may say a short prayer or doa to you are handy with these implements, you give thanks. can use these instead of a fork and spoon.

Every person will have his or her own plate, Do take note of a few norms and taboos: while pots or serving plates with rice and • If you haven’t already used your chop- various dishes will be placed at the centre sticks, you can use them to serve the with ladles or spoons for dishing out the person seated beside you. If you have food. Use these serving spoons instead of already used yours, use a serving pair or your individual spoon to transfer food to tongs instead. pg 66 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 67

Meals with your Meals with your Indian neighbours Eurasian neighbours Indian families typically have their dinner Eurasian cuisine blends influences from both late in the evening, some time between 8 east and west but with plenty of unique touch- and 9 pm. But if you are invited to dinner, es and generous servings of spice. Popular your hosts are likely to have the meal earlier dinner items include smoore (beef rump in a for the convenience of the guests, so do spicy stew), oxtail stew, corned beef cutlets, arrive on time or early. Before the meal, chilli pork chop, vindaloo, steaks and curries. some snacks or drinks may be served; this is For festive occasions, specialties requiring a time for casual conversation while dinner much time and effort in preparation such as is being prepared. Appetisers may include curry debal, sugee cake and mulligatawny will vadai (deep-fried dough), murukku (crispy rice be served. It is not uncommon for a Eurasian and lentil twists) or samosas (fried pastries family to have their unique versions of these with a savoury filling). dishes, which were passed down from gen- eration to generation. As a guest, your host may serve a meal us- How to eat with ing modern plates, although some tradi- your fingers Curry debal or devil’s curry is probably the If you are invited to a meal with an Eurasian tional families may prefer to use the thali, a If you decide not to use a spoon and fork, most well-known Eurasian dish among Sin- family, expect it to be similar to a Western stainless steel tray with compartments for wash your hands before eating. Use only your gaporeans. This dish has its origins in a Box- dinner but with typically Eurasian dishes. rice and side dishes. If your hosts are South right hand for eating; if you need to hold a cup ing Day (the day after Christmas) tradition, If it is a regular meal, you may be served a Indians, they may serve rice or roti on a piece or use an utensil to go for seconds, use only when housewives would gather Christmas selection of meat-based, vegetable and fish of banana leaf. When you are done, fold the your left hand. Place your rice in the centre leftovers such as roast chicken, beef, pork dishes, plus soup and dessert. If the occa- leaf in half with the ends away from you. of the plate or thali, with curries and other and turkey, and turn these into a new con- sion is a religious holiday such as Christmas items on the side, then use your fingertips coction with spices such as candlenuts and or Easter, a wedding, an anniversary, a Additional dishes will be placed in larger to mould together small amounts of the side ginger. Debal actually means ‘leftovers’ in christening or a birthday, expect a more lav- plates or pots with serving spoons or ladles. dishes with the rice before placing the food Portuguese, so the dish has actually nothing ish meal with up to seven or eight courses Your host may offer to ladle rice and curries in your mouth. Don’t use your thumb to devilish about it except its (mis)translated of curries, sambals, vegetables, roast items onto your plate or thali as a gesture of hos- push the food in – this is considered rude. name. Mulligatawny, another Eurasian and a wide choice of desserts and pastries. pitality. If they do so, do let your host know Some people may prefer to press their food favourite, is a spicy soup of colonial Indian Some families may also practice the tradi- into small ‘balls’ which they deftly flick into politely when to stop, as they may feel it is origin, made from broiler chicken, strong tion of a late afternoon high tea, during their mouths. If you are eating roti such as impolite to serve you too little food. What spices, tamarind and coconut milk, and which sandwiches, cakes, pastries and tea chapati or thosai, use your fingers to tear off you can do is ask for a smaller serving and served with rice or a French loaf. For dessert, will be served. a small piece of the bread, dip it in curry (or explain that this will allow you to sample use the bread as a scoop) and place it in your sugee cake, a confection of butter, semolina more dishes and have seconds. While eat- mouth. Avoid letting the food stain your and almonds, is popular with both Eurasians ing, do not offer other guests food from your palm or the first half of your fingers. and Singaporeans at large. thali or banana leaf, or take food from theirs. pg 68 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 69

Moments of Celebration The Festivals of Singapore

Given Singapore’s diversity of races and reli- gions, it is not surprising that various festivals take place throughout the year, as different communities take turns to mark major events on their calendars and celebrate the milestones of their traditions.

In Singapore, major festivals such as the Lunar New Year, Hari Raya Puasa and Deepavali are celebrated on a grand and colourful scale. Dur- ing festive periods, the ethnic districts of Telok Ayer (Chinatown), Geylang Serai, Kampong Glam and Little India are often bedecked with colourful lights, striking décor and lively bazaars. In HDB estates across the island, families and friends also prepare for their fes- tivals by sprucing up their homes, organising get-togethers and performing rituals significant to the occasion.

In this chapter, we offer a look into the various festivals that Singaporeans celebrate, common practices related to these events as well as how you can share in your neighbours’ joy as they clean up, dress up and cook up a feast for a season of joy and goodwill. pg 70 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 71

• AWAL MUHARRAM (NEW YEAR) • Ramadan: a month of fasting • Hari Raya Puasa 'Maaf zahir dan batin'. Many families will The Islamic New Year, Awal Muharram com- A key pillar in Islam is that every able- Hari Raya Puasa marks the end of the fasting also attend prayers at mosques before they memorates the migration of the Prophet bodied adult refrain from food and drink month of Ramadan. This public holiday, also continue with other festive activities. Muhammad from Mecca to Medina in 622. between dawn and dusk during the Muslim known as Eid, Lebaran or Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Though not a public holiday, many Muslims month of Ramadan. Ramadan is a time is celebrated by the Malay as well as other During Hari Raya Puasa, people visit each celebrate Awal Muharram by fasting, at- for spiritual devotion aimed at cultivating local Muslim communities. other to share in the joy of the occasion and tending sermons at mosques and making patience and humility. Many Muslims also renew old ties. This often takes the form of resolutions to be better Muslims. Tradition- try to stop smoking and refrain from other Before the festival, many families will an open house or rumah terbuka, whereby ally, Awal Muharram is commemorated with undesirable habits during Ramadan. You perform a thorough spring-cleaning and neighbours, friends and relatives take turns a sweet rice porridge called bubur asyura. may notice Muslim households waking up decorate their homes with bright lights and to visit each other and partake of a buffet- especially early during Ramadan to prepare ornaments. During this time, areas such as style feast or kenduri. Your Muslim neigh- • Maulud Nabi a pre-fast meal called sahur. At the end of Kampong Glam and Geylang Serai will be bours may invite you over, and when you Maulud Nabi, the birthday of the Prophet the day, the fast is broken shortly after the filled with festive bazaars. On the eve of Hari visit them, dress up formally and greet them Muhammad, falls on the 12th day of Rabiul call to evening prayers or Maghrib. After Raya Puasa, Muslims gather at mosques for by saying ‘Selamat Hari Raya Puasa’, ‘Selamat Awal, the 3rd month of the Muslim calendar. breaking fast, many Muslims also gather the Takbir, a special prayer of thanksgiv- Hari Raya Aidilfitri’ or 'Eid Mubarak’. A com- In the past, large-scale public processions at a mosque or a void deck to perform ing. The next morning, households begin mon festive practice is for parents to give were held to commemorate Maulud Nabi, a supplementary evening prayer called their celebrations with a breakfast of festive their children monetary gifts called duit raya, but today, Muslims celebrate this event Tarawih. During Ramadan, remember that dishes such as ketupat and rendang. An im- which is often placed inside money packets. by attending mosques to pray and listen your Muslim neighbours are fasting. So you portant festive custom is for children to kiss You are not expected to give duit raya, but if to sermons about the Prophet’s life and should not offer them food and refrain from their parents' hands and seek forgiveness for you choose do so, no offence will be taken. teachings. grabbing a bite in their company. bad deeds in the past year with the words pg 72 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 73

• Hari Raya Haji • Lunar New Year Families ensure that everything is spick and Giving hongbao (red packets containing Hari Raya Haji or Hari Raya Aidiladha is a The Lunar New Year (Xin Nian in Mandarin) span by the eve of the new year. No cleaning token sums of cash) is an old Lunar New Muslim festival and public holiday that cel- is celebrated on a grand scale by the Chi- is done on the Lunar New Year itself, as this Year custom and a popular way of convey- ebrates the sacrifice made by the Prophet nese community and usually falls between act is believed to ‘sweep’ away one’s luck. ing one's good wishes. Usually, the elders Abraham (Ibrahim in Arabic), who offered late January and mid-February. Also known On the eve of the new year, family members and married members of a family will give his son Ishmael (Ismail) to God in obedi- as Chun Jie (meaning ‘Spring Festival’), from near and far gather for their reunion hongbao to their younger kin, single rela- ence to God’s command. At the last mo- the Lunar New Year marks the start of dinners and children get to stay up late to tives and children. If you receive a hongbao, ment, a goat appeared and took Ishmael's springtime and a new year according to the welcome the new year with their parents. thank the givers and wish them 'Xin nian place as the sacrifice. The festival takes traditional Chinese calendar. kuai le' (Happy New Year), but do not open place soon after the time when Muslims The 1st and 2nd days of the Lunar New Year the hongbao in their presence. If you are perform the Haj pilgrimage to the holy city You can tell that the Lunar New Year is are public holidays. Many people take this giving hongbao, place even sums or better, of Mecca. Hari Raya Haji falls on the 10th day coming soon when you see your neighbours opportunity to visit relatives and friends. If amounts ending with ‘8’ such as $8 or $88. of Zulhijjah, the 12th month of the Muslim spring-cleaning and decorating their walls you are visiting, wear bright, preferably red, Avoid sums ending with ‘4’ as this numeral calendar. The festival is marked by ritual and doorways with bright red scrolls bearing outfits and stock up on mandarin oranges. sounds like the Chinese word for ‘death’. sacrifices of livestock to honour Abraham’s auspicious characters and couplets. You It is customary to offer your host a pair willingness to sacrifice his son. This ritual, will also see paper cut-outs of the Chi- of mandarin oranges with both hands (in The new year marks a clean slate, so people known as korban, is traditionally performed nese character for ‘prosperity’ or fu pasted Cantonese, the word for mandarins, gam who owe you money will likely want to repay at mosques and other religious centres and upside-down on walls. The Chinese word for sounds like the word for gold) to wish them the debt before the festival. Similarly, if a portion of the meat from the slaughtered ‘upside-down’ (dao) rhymes with the word a successful new year. Before you depart, you owe sums to your merchants, do settle animals is distributed to the poor and for ‘arrival’. Hence, an upside-down fu sug- the host will present to you two mandarin these bills with them before the new year. needy members of the community. gests the eminent arrival of good fortune. oranges as well, which you must accept. They will certainly appreciate the gesture! pg 74 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 75

• Qing Ming (All Souls’ Day) • Zhong Yuan Jie • zhong qiu Jie • Vesak Day During the 3rd lunar month (usually April), (Festival of the Hungry Ghosts) (Mid-Autumn Festival) A public holiday, Vesak Day marks the many Chinese families visiting cemeteries Come July and August, many Chinese Also known as the Lantern or Mooncake birthday, enlightenment and earthly death or columbaria with offerings of food, flowers households set up altars at their doorsteps Festival, this festival is celebrated in the 8th of Lord Buddha, and is celebrated by both and incense as well as brooms for sweep- with food and ritual offerings. They also lunar month, during which many people buy Buddhists and Taoists. This festival takes ing the tombs. This period, known as Qing burn joss papers at metal receptacles placed and eat mooncakes, while children play with place on the 15th day of the 4th lunar month Ming or All Souls’ Day, is when the Chinese around many flats. These are signs that lanterns of different shapes and designs. (usually mid-May). During Vesak Day, pay their respects to deceased ancestors Zhong Yuan Jie (the Hungry Ghost Festival) Some families also make offerings to Chang Buddhist devotees will flock to temples and as an act of filial piety. Nowadays, due to is in full swing. According to Taoist beliefs, Er, a Lady in the Moon who is a symbol of monasteries to pray, attend sermons and the lack of land for burial, many families opt the spirits of the dead visit the earth during marriage and fulfilment. The festival’s as- perform rituals such as bathing statues of for cremation and place the ashes of their the 7th lunar month and must be appeased sociation with mooncakes arose in the 14th Buddha. Devout Buddhists may also adopt loved ones in a columbarium. Taoist families with offerings. During this period, many century, when Chinese rebels during Mongol a vegetarian diet or make contributions to may burn joss money and paper replicas Chinese shun acts such as weddings, major rule hid messages in mid-autumn pastries. charity during this festival in a gesture of of cars, houses and toys to provide for the purchases and business ventures. You may Mooncakes are roundish pastries often compassion. In the past, many devotees also deceased in the afterlife. On the eve of Qing see in your neighbourhood large tents or pa- filled with red bean or lotus seed paste, practised the releasing of captive animals, Ming, some families serve only cold food vilions where dinners, auctions and Chinese and a whole salted egg yolk. Other popular but this is not encouraged nowadays as the for meals; this custom arose as a ruler once opera or getai performances are held by fillings include green tea, yam, chestnut and released animals seldom survive (causing tried to force Jie, a faithful servant, out of a clan or temple associations. These are often dates, while modern versions include durian, pollution in parks and waterways with their forest by burning it, causing the servant’s colourful and lively occasions, but for the snowskin and ice cream mooncakes. There bodies) and the practice fuels the repeated death. In regret, he decreed that no fires be sake of a good night’s sleep, such events are are also vegetarian as well as halal moon- capture or breeding of wild animals for sale to lit on the anniversary of Jie’s death. required by law to cease by 10.30 pm. cakes available from certain bakeries. devotees. pg 76 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 77

• Deepavali homes to welcome the goddess Lakshmi. • Thaipusam • Pongal Also known as the Festival of Lights, It is also a time for spring-cleaning, new Rivalling Deepavali in brilliance and fanfare, This harvest festival is widely celebrated by Deepavali celebrates the victory of Lord clothes and furnishings, and the preparation Thaipusam takes place early in the year, on South Indians. Pongal (also spelt Ponggal) Krishna over Narakasura, an evil demon of festive treats. You may also see especially the full moon of the Tamil month of Thai. takes places in mid-January and the name king. People then lit clay lamps to welcome elaborate kolam created at doorsteps. This festival honours Lord Murugan, a son of of the festival is derived from ponggal, a Lord Krishna from his victory. For Hindus, Lord Siva who defeated evil demons with his sweet mixture of boiled rice, jaggery (brown Deepavali (also known as Diwali) thus On Deepavali morning, Hindu families wake silver chariot and golden spear. Thaipusam palm sugar) and milk offered to the Sun God signifies the triumph of good over evil, light up early for a ritual oil bath, which symbol- is celebrated with a grand procession from Surya. Pongal is celebrated with particular over darkness and knowledge over igno- ises the cleansing of oneself. Children bow Sri Srinivasa Perumal Temple at Serangoon fanfare at Little India with a festive bazaar rance. The Sikh community also celebrates to their elders to receive blessings. Every- Road to the Chettiar's Temple at Tank Road. featuring cows and goats from local farms, Deepavali as the day when the teacher Guru body then changes into new clothes before Many male devotees in this procession carry which are garlanded to thank them for their Hargobind Singh was released from prison praying before the family shrine and going to a kavadi, a spiked metal or wooden frame. labour and provision of milk. Some families along with 52 other Sikh rulers. temples. Deepavali is also a time for visiting. Women and children who take part may may place oil lamps around their homes If your Hindu neighbours are at home, you carry pots of milk on their heads as offerings during Pongal and make ponggal in their Not to be confused with the Tamil New Year, can wish them 'Deepavali Valthukkal' ('Happy to Lord Murugan. Musicians and sing- kitchens. The Pongal feast is often a major Deepavali is a public holiday that usually Deepavali'). Many families also give gold ers chant sacred hymns to encourage the affair with families preparing substantial falls in late October or early November. or maroon envelopes containing money as devotees as they take part in the procession, meals to feed streams of visitors. Children Nonetheless, Deepavali is still a time for new festive gifts to children. Unlike the Chinese which to many represents the fulfilment of also enjoy gifts of money, which are believed beginnings and celebration. As Deepavali hongbao, the amount given should be an odd vows made to Lord Murugan in return for to bring in good luck. Traditional households approaches, many Hindu families will put up sum. You can buy these festive envelopes at answering their prayers or healing them and will celebrate Pongal over three days, and colourful lights and oil lamps around their shops in Little India. their loved ones from sickness. visits to temples are a must. pg 78 »Who’s Your Neighbour? pg 79

• Tamil New Year • Good Friday & Easter SUNDAY • Christmas Santa Claus or Father Christmas is also Indians of Tamil origin mark the Tamil New Good Friday is a time of contemplation A public holiday, Christmas is celebrated closely associated with Christmas. Well- Year or Puthandu on the 1st day of the Hindu for many Christians as they mark Jesus primarily by the Christian community. But loved by children as a bearer of gifts, Santa month of Chithirai, which usually falls in mid- Christ’s death and sacrifice on the cross. many non-Christians also mark it as a year- Claus is thought to have been a 4th century April. Although not a public holiday, many The 40-day period leading up to Easter is end festival of good cheer with gatherings bishop who secretly gave gifts to his flock. Tamil families celebrate this day with much known as Lent, and some believers abstain with friends and exchanges of gifts. Christ- festivity. An important ritual is kani kanal, from meat during this time. On Good Friday mas is also referred to as Yuletide or Noel. Among some Eurasian families, there is a which involves an arrangement consisting morning, Christians attend church services tradition of fasting before the Christmas of a bronze vessel, lamp, mirror and fruits. to remember Christ’s death on the cross. For Christians, Christmas marks the birth of Mass at midnight, followed by a celebratory It is believed that when a family wakes up Devout Eurasian families may serve a the Lord Jesus Christ and is celebrated with supper in the early hours of the morning. at dawn and lights the lamp, catching sight sombre breakfast of black coffee, hot cross great joy, involving carolling sessions, mid- Christmas Day itself and the period up to of these objects before anything else will buns and kueh ko chi, a confection usually night services or Mass on Christmas Eve to New Year’s Eve is a time for visiting close bring good fortune for the rest of the year. reserved for funeral wakes. During Good usher in Christmas as well as worship ser- friends and relatives, festive meals involv- The family then holds prayers and visits a Friday, many Catholics also confess their vices on Christmas Day itself. Many families ing roast turkey or goose, devil's curry and temple to seek blessings. Elders will also give sins before a priest and seek forgiveness also practise the tradition of decorating sweet desserts, and social parties and kai visesham or lucky money to younger rela- for their wrongdoings. On Easter Sunday, Christmas trees in their homes. Catholic dances. An old Eurasian custom, now sel- tives, an act that signifies abundance to both some churches conduct sunrise services to households may set up a Nativity scene, dom observed, is for young people to return the giver and recipient. You may notice your celebrate Christ’s resurrection. Eggs, being a which consists of a manger with the infant home at midnight to greet their parents. neighbours creating new kolam, placing fresh symbol of rebirth, have become associated Jesus Christ surrounded by his mother the All the lights will be switched on and every mango leaves at their doorway and welcom- with Easter, and brightly painted eggs are Virgin Mary and three Wise Men bearing door open to let good fortune enter the ing visitors during the Tamil New Year. often used as gifts during Easter. gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. home. pg 80 »Who’s Your Neighbour?

• National Day: Flying the Flag Where can I learn about the history of editors A Celebration for all Citizens Many Singaporeans take the opportunity to Singapore’s communities? Thangamma Karthigesu Marcus Ng Finally, one ‘festival’ and public holiday that show their love for the nation during the Na- To learn more about Singapore’s history and Lisa Cheong unites all Singaporeans, regardless of race, tional Day period by flying the National Flag shared multicultural heritage, you can visit Alicia Tan language or religion, is the day on which the at their homes and workplaces. You will see the National Heritage Board’s (NHB) muse- Zahirah Taha nation celebrates its independence and sov- rows of flags displayed from HDB balconies ums, which include the National Museum ereignty: National Day. Held on 9 August, and windows all over the island as National of Singapore, Asian Civilisations Museum, illustrator Jafri Janif National Day is an eagerly awaited moment Day beckons. The five stars on the flag Peranakan Museum and Singapore Philatelic by many Singaporeans, who look forward to represent Singapore's five core principles Museum. The NHB also runs three Heritage photogrpher a chance to view the National Day Parade, of democracy, justice, peace, progress and Institutions focusing on the collective histo- Alex Heng whether ‘live’ at the parade grounds or on equality, while the crescent moon symbol- ries of Singapore’s major communities: the TV, with all its spectacular displays, rousing ises Singapore’s status as a young, ascend- Malay Heritage Centre in Kampong Glam, designer Ridzwan Ali marches and dazzling performances. ant nation. The red upper segment stands the Sun Yat Sen Nanyang Memorial Hall at for universal brotherhood and the equality Tai Gin Road and the Indian Heritage Centre printed and bound by Continuing the local tradition of having an of man, while the white below speaks of (to open in 2015) at Campbell Lane. HoBee Media 'open house' during major festivals, the purity and virtue. The National Flag may be grounds of the Istana, the official residence displayed from homes during the National of the President of Singapore, are open to Day celebration period between 1 July and the public during the National Day period 3 September. If you plan to fly or display the as well as Hari Raya Puasa, the 2nd day of the National Flag, do remember that the flag 2014 © National Heritage Board. All rights Lunar New Year, Deepavali and Labour Day. must be treated with respect and dignity at reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form or by any means These 'Open House' days offer a rare chance all times, and not be allowed to touch the without prior permission in writing from to view the gardens and selected halls of the ground. If you need to dispose of a worn or the Publisher and copyright owner. Whilst every care is taken to ensure accuracy of Istana building and enjoy picnics with family damaged flag, place it in a sealed black trash the information in this publication, the and friends on the Istana grounds. bag so that it is not visible in the dustbin. Publisher accepts no liability for damages by misinterpretation of information, expressed or implied, within the pages of this publication.