A One Hundred Year Old Baby
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A One Hundred Year Old Baby Joop Wassenaar A One Hundred Year Old Baby © 2017 Joop Wassenaar © To&From To&From 2002-2017: Dokkumer Nieuwe Zijlen, 2005 (Kirja kerrallaan) De Lulligheidsfaktor, 2010 (Kirja kerrallaan) Sininen myrsky, 2016 Aspecten van Aspekt, 2017 Dana ja kalat, 2017 www.toandfrom.net y thing with Jenni started on the first of September 2005. I wrote a column in Satakunnan Työ, with the title Kova ja pehmeä, MHard and soft. Let me translate the essential part of it in English for you. Sauli Niinistö has written a bestseller, and as a result conservative poets can now be traced in our province Satakunta also. The party has turned into a reader club, and its favourite words have become´hard´and ´soft´. I will be the last one to queue up for the master piece of Niinistö, nor do I want the maestro´s signature. His book is a success because he is the country´s best known banker, who is now exposing his soft side. I come from a country where banking was invented. In Dutch we say that ´a soft banker is a bad banker'. I expect a banker to be a Scrooge, before any kind of redemption. I expect Niinistö to sell mortgages to teenagers, without warning them that the interest rate may rise. The fresh secretary of the conservatives in our province is also a friend of literature. But she has a different marketing strategy. Although Jenni Haukio´s favourite hobby is beiing mentioned in the local newspaper, she does not want to say much more about her art. Because according to Jenni, poetry and politics ´are worlds apart´. She only wants to stress that ´people writing poetry aren´t softies´. So she´s a tough lady, our Jenni. Or is she? She launches the words 'passive' and 'success' a few times, but does not explain what they say to her. This lack of ability to describe things may be due to her age. Tough Jenni is only 28 and at this age 'success' is generally limited to having passed the driver's test. Jenni is having a bright future ahead. 5 For those among you who don´t know who Sauli Niinistö is, don´t worry, he will pop up later in this story. What is important at this stage is to understand that Satakunnan Työ is a regional weekly magazine, published by the leftwing workers´ party. So it is a kind of miracle that bourgeois Jenni read my article about her. But she did. And she liked it. That is what she told me when I had the pleasure to meet her ´in the flesh´. Sauli Niinistö had to be elected president and Jenni had opened Sauli Café, in what is nowadays Petra´s Café, in the main street of Pori. I took a seat in it and did not have to wait long before seeing Jenni coming in. She was in the company of Leena Harkimo, the grand old lady of their party, and evidently acting as a kind of guiding light to the fresh local secretary. I immediately and without warning fell for her blush. This pink cloud rolling from her forehead all along her cheeks into her neck and still downwards into the shallow space between her breasts. She blushed the moment she caught a glimpse of me, and with the speed of light turned her head back towards that of the Harkimo legend. A moment or two later however, the two women engaged in a fierce debate and from the quick look the younger one casted once more on me, it became clear that I was the subject of the words they were having. I was sure that the two would come and ask me to leave the place, and I made up my mind about a beautiful goodbye I would hurl to them. But the young one left the older standing and came up and joined me at my table, with a broad smile on her face. ´Why did you show up here?´ she asked. ´We could meet in a more private setting, if you like´. Even more than by her quick approach, I was surprised by her use of local slang. Tough Jenni was not at all that bourgeois lady I thought she ought to be. As a matter of 6 fact, she did sound a little vulgar, omitting entire syllables and using the very typical expression 'toonoin' when searching for the right word. But anyhow, only two days later Jenni and I had a real date. With the real thing happening. I mean, yes, we had sex together and that was nice, but the very big and massive and catching and astonishing thing was what we felt for each other. Or at least, what I felt for her. She really hit me, with her cute smile, her dark eyes, her sense of humour. Jenni was not the brightest girl I have ever met. But she made me smile when watching her taking a stand in something and defending it until fucking Kingdom would come. I really had a good laugh when she quoted the legendary president Kekkonen and actually did keep his statement for a gift from God. My oh my, we were having a good time together, my best days in Pori. It was wintertime, and during the sparse daylight she was busy with her Sauli-thing. But after that we took off to Bar Havanna, in the local movietheater, had a few drinks and a small meal, before we walked back to the empty but warm Sauli Café and did it on the most comfortable couch. That was it. Or that should have been it. After two weeks the presidential election campaign took so much of her time and energy that she had to skip the Havana-evenings and started to spend a good deal of our night with preparing for the next day. I am not the type of man to ignore what is going on and after a short discussion and a so long with some tears shed from both sides, we did not meet anymore. Although Sauli Niinistö did not make it to president in 2006, we should nevertheless turn our attention to him now. I have been writing about the guy on several occasions, the first one being on April 7th 2005, after his return to Finland from Luxembourg. 7 Although I am probably the only catholic in the lovely province of Satakunta, I do not write this week about the death of the Pope, but on the presidential elections. Born in the Dutch monarchy, presidency is as strange a phenomenon for me as the Pope is for Finns. The most remarkable feature of the Finnish president is that he or she is never going to get rid of that title anymore. I thought I was in a time machine when I heard a Finn talking about 'presidentti Kekkonen' and the year was 1995! Has this become your habit since the long reign of Kekkonen? A way to satisfy his successors without having to suffer for decades from them too? So they can call themselves president for ever, although they are not fit for a second term? Anyhow, it may well be that after Mauno Koivisto, eh sorry... President Mauno Koivisto, Finland will never see a two-term president again. I am even sure that exactly that is what candidate Niinistö is after: eternal fame for a cheap price. What makes Sauli return to Finland? Is it this country´s situation? The fact that Finnish society is being driven apart? When Niinistö talks about what he thinks the presidential task should be, he says he will as a president 'save the Finnish way of living´. But whose way of living he is talking about? Will Niinistö be president of the small employees and unemployed, or of bankers and the rising noblesse d´argent? I have only been reading about and listening to members of the conservative party who embrace the growing gap in income, who want Finland to join Nato and who give their support to war veterans talking about revanche. According to Sauli Niinistö Finland is a ´successfull member of the European family´. This does not tell us 8 anything about Finland, but very much about Niinistö. It tells us that the guy does not have a clue as to where he has been, although he has lived in Central Europe for five years. What circumstance did make Niinistö leave us five years ago? The ambitious former Minister of Finance went for the top position in the European Central Bank in Frankfuert. But where did his party dig him up? The would be-successor of Duisenberg and Trichet was the second man of an obscure bank in Luxemburg... So the fellow is a failure. The presidency would pull him out of the grave. Do we want Finland to be Niinistö´s silver medal? Why we had to turn to Niinistö? Because he married Jenni. When I heard the news, I could not but laugh about it. Thirty-one year old and well over one seventy tall Jenni with a small-sized chap twice her age. But some time gone, I felt ashamed on her part. As her predecessor Tanja Karpela had been a Miss Finland, the guy clearly was only in need for a name with a dress on. But I could not see the fun for Jenni in this arrangement. Cute, blushing Jenni, with her wretched but innocent view on the world, in a match for power and money! As I was living in Mäntyluoto at the time of the wedding, I made up my mind about going to Reposaari church where the couple was to be united.