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BDSM) Community City University of New York (CUNY) CUNY Academic Works All Dissertations, Theses, and Capstone Projects Dissertations, Theses, and Capstone Projects 5-2015 Negotiating limits: Boundary management in the Bondage/ Discipline/Sadomasochism (BDSM) community Karen Marie Holt Graduate Center, City University of New York How does access to this work benefit ou?y Let us know! More information about this work at: https://academicworks.cuny.edu/gc_etds/976 Discover additional works at: https://academicworks.cuny.edu This work is made publicly available by the City University of New York (CUNY). Contact: [email protected] Negotiating limits: Boundary management in the Bondage/Discipline/Sadomasochism (BDSM) community Karen Holt A dissertation submitted to the Graduate faculty in Criminal Justice in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy The City University of New York 2015 © 2015 KAREN HOLT All Rights Reserved ii This manuscript has been read and accepted for the Graduate Faculty in Criminal Justice in satisfaction of the dissertation requirement for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy. ______David Brotherton ___________________ Date _________________ ________________________________________ Chair of Examining Committee Date __________________ _____Deborah Koetzle ____________________ _______________________________________ Executive Officer ________Jayne Mooney_______________ ________Lucia Trimbur_______________ Supervisory Committee THE CITY UNIVERSITY OF NEW YORK iii Negotiating limits: Boundary management in the Bondage/Discipline/Sadomasochism (BDSM) community by Karen Holt Dissertation Chair: David Brotherton, Ph.D. Abstract This study sought to gain insight into the attitudes, beliefs, and values that shape Bondage/Discipline/Sadomasochism (BDSM) activities and how participants negotiate and maintain boundaries in order to engage in mutually satisfying BDSM activities. Additionally, this study explored the degree and consequences of unintended or non-negotiated harms, including physical, emotional, and sexual coercion. A qualitative approach consisting of semi- structured interviews and ethnography was used in order to develop an in depth exploration of the lived experiences of participants. Grounded theory was employed to reveal common themes which all supported a symbolic interactionist / dramaturgical understanding of the protective and predatory processes involved in BDSM behaviors. The BDSM community has both predatory and protective elements, or characteristics that facilitate or protect from harm. The predatory can lead to a greater likelihood of harm occurring which include debuting performances (naivety or inexperience), scripting victimization (relying on past scripts of traumas no matter what the performance), lacking a company (lack of support system), lacking stage presence (low self- esteem or self-worth), failing props or blacking out (mistakes that lead to negative consequences), reprising roles (relationships with blanket consent), and the casting couch (the nature of BDSM contributes to attracting predators). Protective elements are comprised of setting iv the stage (defining of terms, negotiations of play), auditioning actors (individuals freely choosing to engage in play and creating their roles), delivering lines (communicating needs, wants, and desires to partners and open dialogues with self and community), illuminating the sightlines (the notion of responsibility and transparency among community members), and ghost lighting (safety and ensuring protection from harm). The BDSM community, as a deviant and marginalized group, understands the risks inherent in their actions, are cognizant of the stigma associated with these behaviors, and therefore implement strategies to reduce risks and manage stigma. Most individuals did not report experiencing harm, those that did tended to have a history of abuse or victimization. Implications are discussed. v Acknowledgements Firstly, I would like to thank my chair, David Brotherton, for his support and encouragement throughout the process. The comments and feedback from my committee members, Jayne Mooney and Lucia Trimbur, were invaluable. Shadd Maruna and Lynn Chancer were the external readers for this project (before, unfortunately, the university decided that external readers were unnecessary) and I am grateful for their intellectual contributions. Thanks to Howie Becker for a last minute reality check. Many wonderful people have assisted me throughout this arduous journey. I would like to thank my friends and colleagues, Kevin Barnes-Ceeney, for always reminding me to bring the smoke machine and Sara Salman, who kept me filled with hope, love, and pastries, and whose enthusiasm for my research kept me going when mine had been depleted. My family, who always encouraged me and assured me that I could do this and convinced me not to be a cocktail waitress in Las Vegas – to you, I am profoundly grateful, especially Terry and Dave Alburger, Ken and Cindy Pepper, Katie Pepper, Kimberly and Adrianna Schmidt, Francisco and Maria Teresa Migliore, Concepcion Cipolla, Juan Carlos and Michelle Migliore and Emily and Claire, Bruce and Ginger Holt, and Mike and Melissa Haley. Additionally, Jay-Z kept me going through the first several years of my dissertation program, especially that grueling first one. His bravado gave me the confidence I needed to muddle through the worst of times and enjoy the best of times. To my husband, Tom – words can’t express the love and gratitude I have for you. Thank you for not letting me give up and for giving me the support I needed. I apologize for the attitude you received when you tried to give feedback or comments or remind me that I should really be working… To my daughter, Scarlett – thank you for reminding me of what really matters and what is really important. And for letting me get work done – sometimes. Lastly, this dissertation is dedicated to the memory of Jock Young, who began as my chair but sadly passed away before the completion. To Jock – thank you for giving me the faith when I had lost it and for reminding me to keep it. I owe you a book. vi Table of Contents CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION…………………………………………………………………..1 Purpose, Goals, and Objectives .………………………………………………………………...1 Methodological choices: Relation to the Study’s Purpose ………...……………….………........2 Research questions ………………………..………………………………………….….….…...2 Theoretical Framework ................................................................................................................2 Contributions of the Study ………………………………………………………….…………....5 CHAPTER 2: REVIEW OF THE LITERATURE.…………………….………………………….. 7 Harm in the Traditional Relationships …. ...………………………………………..…………...7 What is Bondage/Discipline/Sadomasochism………………… …………...…..…………..……...9 Theoretical Approaches to the Study of BDSM…………………………... ………………...……..17 Safe, Sane, & Consensual: Boundary Management in BDSM…. …………………..….……….27 BDSM and Law …………………………………………………………………………………28 Framing Experiences…………………………………………………………………………...32 Harm and Coercion in the BDSM Community …………………………………………………35 Loosening the Controls: The Process of Harm ………………………………………………...36 Going off the Rails: When BDSM Goes Wong …………………………………………………38 Need For Inquiry ………………………………………………………………………………..40 CHAPTER 3: METHODOLOGY……………………………………………………...………….41 The Sample ……………………………………………………………………………………...41 Methodology …………………………………………………………………………………….41 Confidentiality and Anonymity ………………………………………………………………….49 Triangulation of Data …………………………………………………………………………...51 Qualitative Analysis and Grounded Theory …………………………………………………….51 Researcher Perspective, Identity, and Role ……………………………………………….…….52 Paradigmatic Considerations …………………………………………………………..……….52 Sample Characteristics .................................................................................................................53 vii FINDINGS AND DISCUSSION………………………………………………………...…………69 CHAPTER 4: THE BDSM COMMUNITY AS PROTECTIVE…………………………………...69 Performing Consent ……………………………………………………………………………..69 Setting the Stage …………………………………………………………………………………71 Auditioning Actors ………………………………………………………………………………79 Delivering Lines …………………………………………………………………………………80 Illuminating the Sightlines ……………………………………………………………………….92 Ghostlighting ……………………………………………………………………………………104 CHAPTER 5: THE BDSM COMMUNITY AS PREDATORY…………………………………..111 Debuting Performances ………………………………………………………………………...111 Scripting Victimization ………………………………………………………………………....112 Lacking a Company …………………………………………………………………………….118 Lacking a Stage Presence ……………………………………………………………………....118 Failing Props/Blacking Out …………………………………………………………………….122 Reprising Roles ………………………………………………………………………………….130 Casting Couch …………………………………………………………………………………...135 DISCUSSION AND CONCLUSION………………………………………………………………136 CHAPTER 6: CONCLUSION……………………………………………………………………...148 Boundary Management …………………………………………………………………………..148 Negotiating Limits ………………………………………………………………………………..153 Understanding Harm …………………………………………………………………………….154 Implications ………………………………………………………………………………………156 Future Directions ………………………………………………………………………………...156 APPENDICES……………………………………………………………………………………….163 Recruitment Script for Primary Investigator ……………………………………………Appendix A Consent Form……………………………………………………………………………Appendix B Information Form………………………………………………………………………..Appendix C Interview Protocol……………………………………………………………................Appendix D Observation Form……………………………………………………………………….Appendix E CITI Certificate Primary Investigator………………………………………………….
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