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OPINION FEATURES Wheelin’ and dealin’ Summer Break!!!

Some teams bulk up Enjoy your time while others lose big in off! Fall classes the MLB trading frenzy, begin Aug. 29. Page 9 Volume 13, Issue 8 www.ValenciaVoice.com August 3, 2011 Valencia professors rock for a reason Teachers use talent to make music, raise funds for students in need

By James Tutten urday at Valencia's Osceola campus. This administrative personnel put on a family [email protected] event worked to raise money for the friendly performance with a surprising “Jane Dewey/ Monty Bilyue Emergency amount of talent. ‘The Rouge Scholars’ performed at Healthcare Services Scholarship.” The “We’ve been together for about three the Rock N' Roll charity concert last Sat- band, formed by Valencia professors and years now raising money for different charities, like tonight’s cause to help emergency medical student scholarships through the Valencia foundation,” said Al Groccia, math professor and founding member of ‘The Rouge Scholars.’ “Were happy to be here and we’re gonna rock the audience tonight!” The concert at the Osceola audito- rium was attended by over 40 guests, ‘The Rogue Scholars’ count Valencia professors and a dean among their members. some bringing their kids out to enjoy the showl. Some classic rock songs by Elvis Macon will also be the Dean for “It’s a great show with a wide range and the Beatles started off the set, which Business, IT & Public Service, beginning of music selection,” said Jack Thomas. progressed into newer songs from art- in the fall semester. “They really are some talented musi- ists Weezer and Jack Jonson. Graphics “They know us professionally as col- cians.” behind the band displayed song lyrics lege faculty and administrators, so the The funds raised through this event for the audience to participate and sing fact that we are doing something in a go to assist with helping students to fin- along, and included special video seg- band is usually pretty surprising,” said ish school and move on with their profes- ments for added entertainment. Brian Macon, drummer for the 'Schol- sional careers. In addition to the Valencia The band is quite literally a family, ars' and a math professor at Valencia's Foundation, this band has raised money seen best in the husband and wife mem- Lake Nona campus. Macon is currently for Give Kids the World, Freedom Ride, bers, Lisa and Brian Macon. “balancing work, family, my music, and Orange County Families in Transition, “At first I just came to sing for one working on my doctorate at UCF.” and the American Cancer Society. song, but I loved it so much I just kept Everyone enjoyed the show and the For more on ‘The Rouge Scholars,’ go coming back” said Lisa Macon, Valen- attendees felt good about contributing to to their Facebook page or email Al Groc- cia professor of Information Technology. Al Groccia, guitarist and singer, starts the show with help from a young audience member. the Valencia foundation. cia at [email protected]. NEWS 2 Graduate students will pay more for loans under debt deal By Douglas Hanks and Michael they emerged almost fully funded MDC receiving $117 million, easily Vasquez in the debt deal, said Terry Hartle, the top recipient among South Flor- The Miami Herald / MCT spokesman for the American Coun- ida schools. cil on Education, which lobbies for Low-income families and stu- Graduate students wound up colleges and universities. dents can apply for Pell grants, and on the “Loser” list from Washing- “It was an outcome that was they cover up to $5,500 in tuition. ton’s debt deal. unimaginable just a couple of The interest-free loans for graduate Tucked into the bill that would weeks ago,” Hartle said. “For Mi- school are also based on need, but enact the $2.4 trillion debt-reduction ami Dade College, the budget students can usually qualify be- plan is a provision that would force agreement is good news. It’s not as cause post-graduate education is so graduate students to pay interest on good of a deal for students, say, at costly. Students may borrow up to student loans while still in school. the University of Miami.’’ $8,500 a year using the interest-free Currently, Washington picks up the While the details were sketchy as loans. Washington raced to resolve a debt University of Miami Director interest payments for graduate stu- PROGRAMS dents while they attend school. crisis by Tuesday, education profes- of Financial Assistance James Bau- The cut is part of a surprise com- sionals said the deal will mean real er said the proposed student loan UCF VALENCIA OSCEOLA promise that preserves tuition pay- changes to how many graduate stu- change would affect thousands of Applied Science (B.A.S.) • Criminal Justice ments for low-income college stu- dents fund their education. UM graduate students. With inter- Pell grants account for about est now accruing while they’re in • Health Services Administration dents under the Pell grant program. • Information Technology* While Pell grants were expected to $500 million in tuition assistance in school, grad students’ overall debt • Legal Studies • Supervision and Administration take big spending hits next year, South Florida. Miami Dade College, will creep higher, Bauer said, per- Start here. Finish here. the largest haps leading some to default on Business Administration (B.A.) Elementary Education (B.S.) community their loans altogether. Interdisciplinary Studies (B.A., B.S.) college in “Nobody knows where that tip- At UCF VAlenCiA OSCeOlA And UCF VAlenCiA WeSt, Psychology (B.S.) the coun- ping point is,” Bauer said. you can start your bachelor’s degree on the same campus UCF VALENCIA WEST try, received By forcing graduate students to you finished your associate degree. Through DirectConnect Applied Science (B.A.S.) about $175 pay interest while attending school, • Criminal Justice million in the federal government should save to UCF, all graduates of Valencia are guaranteed admission • Health Services Administration to UCF. So, you can finish your degree right here—with more • Information Technology* Pell grants about $18 billion over the next 10 • Supervision and Administration for the last years, according to the Council’s options than ever. Architecture (B. Des.) school year, estimates. The Pell grants will cost Business Administration (B.A.) said Mer- about $35 billion next year under To explore a degree program that suits you, contact an Criminal Justice (B.A., B.S.) Electrical Engineering (B.S.E.E.) cedes Ama- the debt deal, down slightly from advisor today. Elementary Education (B.S.) ya, head of the current $37 billion funding level. Interdisciplinary Studies (B.A., B.S.) financial The changes in graduate-school Legal Studies (B.A., B.S.) Nursing (Concurrent, R.N. to B.S.N.) aid for the loans, including those for law school Political Science (B.A.) school. Pre- and medical school, would take ef- Psychology (B.S.) liminary fect July 1, 2012, so loans taken out 407.582.5500 Sociology (B.A.) 2011 figures before then will remain interest-free regionalcampuses.ucf.edu at usaspend- during the student’s enrollment, Web-based ing.gov had Hartle said. *Subject to course substitutions 1104RGC759-6/11 NEWSNEWS OPINIONOPINIONFEATURES FEATURESSPORTS CLASSIFIEDSSPORTS 3 Blast from the past Teen Nick brings back shows from the ‘90s Where are

By Jenna Scherer and Joshua Walovitch "A group of young interns and staff- they now? Boston Herald / MCT ers showed us these numbers and said, 'We'd love to see these back on TV,'" The Facebook generation gets what Dawkins said. "It was a bat across the it wants. And if there's one thing Gen face like , duh, let's do this now." 1990s Yers love more than anything else, it's James Zar, 19, a Boston University 1990s television. junior, was among the 15 million peo- Thanks to 20- and 30-somethings ple who joined one of the Facebook stars find continued clamoring on Facebook and , groups pushing for the shows' return. Nickelodeon has pulled some of its "I think everyone likes to remember success in Hollywood most beloved Clinton-era shows out when they were kids. The humor was of the vaults. "The '90s Are ," simple and good-hearted, and that a new late-night block on TeenNick, made the shows funny," he said of the premiered this week with four shows: old-school Nick appeal. "Kenan & Kel," "Doug," "All That" and "We were so little and impression- "." Viewers can able, and these shows really stuck in watch more clips and episodes on our memories," said Jamaica Plain resi- 90sareallthat..com, a site that dent Thom Dunn, 25, whose favorite asks, "Remember when your life didn't was quirky comedy "The Adventures suck?" of Pete & Pete." Response has been seismic. On Now watching it as an adult, he Monday, 555,000 viewers tuned in from said, "It's definitely a kid's show, but midnight to 4 a.m., "Doug" was the it's also so bizarre and brilliant." top search hit on Google for the day, Everyone has a favorite show from and the rest of the shows trended on the '90s run, whether it's a Nicktoon or Twitter. Nickelodeon will consider the a live-action comedy from the station's next round of shows to feature based Saturday-evening Snick lineup. on online fan demand, including cult "I probably remember every single favorites like "Are You Afraid of the episode of ',' my favorite being Dark?" "" and "Dou- the Passover special where Angelica ble Dare." was the Pharaoh," said Simmons Col- That these neo-retro reruns are get- lege grad student Bekah Cline, 24. ting so much love from viewers comes Though older generations may as no surprise to Keith Dawkins, senior claim that it's a little too early to wax vice-president of Nickelodeon Pro- nostalgic for the '90s, local fan Annie gramming Partnerships. Between the Kozakiewicz, 24, begs to differ. "We're demand coming in from social media going through a hard time right now," sites and in the Nick offices, he said it she said. "It's a good escape to go back Above: Amanda Bynes has starred in several films. continued his comedy Above: Melissa Joan Hart stars on ‘Melissa & Joey.’ was the perfect moment to re-release to these shows from back then. This is Top: Michelle Trachtenberg stars on ‘Gossip Girls.’ career as a regular on Saturday Night Live. Top: hosts ‘America’s Got Talent.” the network's '90s classics. the first time we've been able to claim nostalgia that's our own." NEWSNEWS OPINIONOPINIONOPINIONFEATURESFEATURESFEATURESSPORTS CLASSIFIEDSSPORTSSPORTS 4 The almighty 90’s What was your favorite 90’s Nickelodeon show? Teen Nick kicks off the end of summer with the return of some classic shows

By Shannon Metherell [email protected]

They are finally back; the one thing that me and my friends have been talking about for for- ever—the shows our generation grew up with and loved. Last Monday, Teen Nick started two two hour intervals of classic Nickelodeon shows such as “All That,” “Doug,” “Clarissa Explains It ‘Rugrats’ was equally as popular “‘Hey Arnold.’ I loved that show “‘Rugrats’ is my favorite. I “‘Hey Arnold’ is my favorite. It “‘’ because it All,” and “Kenan and Kel.” It starts on the big stage as a musical. at midnight and runs until two in and his football-shaped head.” love how Tommy always took had a real unique comedy style.” showed extreme sports like the morning, and then repeats used to be. SpongeBob could be charge.” surfing and skating.” again until four a.m. considered the millennium’s “Ru- —Catherine Lewis —Dameshia Marshall —Michael Atencio —Akbar Pabani I am very excited for this phe- grats” but nothing compares to nomenon, I still believe that the the original show. 90’s era of television was the best I have seen every episode of era for kid shows. the almighty 90’s, and person- Watching these shows for the ally am looking forward to seeing past week have brought back “Hey Arnold” since he was my car- so many memories, like when I toon crush when I was younger! used to draw the characters from Seeing these shows come back Doug and hang them up on the brought a to my face, and I fridge. Or how my friends and I hope that Teen Nick keeps it per- used to reenact the Rugrats, act- manent just as GAS has with re- ing like babies and getting into runs of “Legends of the Hidden trouble when we play tricks on Temple” and “ 2000.” our parents. This is the greatest Kudos to new media merging thing that television has done. with the old and making millions I used to watch the shows re- of people from my generation ligiously, so hearing about them ecstatic! You know what I would coming back made my heart skip love to see next? 90’s Disney. a beat and had me hooked from If you want to follow more “‘Clarissa Explains It All.’ I “‘All That.’ I loved all the “‘Rugrats’ was my favorite. Phil “‘All That’ because it’s a bunch the start. I stopped watching on ‘The 90’s Are All That’ with loved her sense of style and I sketches, and Kenan and Kel and Lil, the twins were the best of shows combined into one and schedules, polls, as well as television after I grew up and saw could relate to her.” were my favorite.” characters and I loved Angelica.” it’s really entertaining.” that the shows for kids were not other interactions please visit —Lorca Morales —Bianca Martinez —Isaac Herrera —Mandy Cora the same as they www.90sareallthat.teennick. NEWSNEWSNEWS OPINIONOPINIONOPINIONFEATURES FEATURESSPORTSFEATURES CLASSIFIEDSSPORTSSPORTS 5

Shay Castle Rofkens Petit-Homme Twitterland talk: debt deal [email protected] [email protected] “Senate passes #DebtCeiling bill. What I learned? If you act “So deal done. Let the lost decade begin. #debtceiling” Anna Gerrol Jeff Shedden like an obstinate, cantankerous child, you don't have to eat your -@markos [email protected] [email protected] vegetables.” Melissa Lane Mary Stevens -@walshcommafrank “After #debtceiling passage, Prez says must close tax loopholes,have rich/corps pay their share. Now that Dems fold- [email protected] [email protected] “Anyone who characterizes the debt-ceiling deal as a victory ed, how will that happen?” for the Am people over partisanship understands neither poli- -@PunditMom Bryan Levine Thomas Skillmawn tics nor economics.” [email protected] [email protected] - @RBReich “The #debtceiling will get raised but I haven't seen a deal this one-sided since the Indians traded Manhattan for a handful Shannon Metherell James Tutten “US averted default. Anyone want to party? Yeah, I didn't [email protected] [email protected] think so. #debtceiling” -@timmytink The opinions expressed are those of the Valencia Voice, its staff members “Nobody should cheer this deal. In real terms lower govt and contributors, and are not necessarily those of Valencia College or the spending means less govt jobs. When we have 9.4% unemploy- student body. ment this is bitter pill.” -@icarmagic Photo credits: Page 1: Top Left, Jim McIsaac, Newsday / MCT ; Top Right, Courtesy of MCT; All others, James Tutten / Valencia Voice “You know that bus that the GOP just threw the unemployed, Page 2: Graphic courtesy of MCT poor, sick and elderly under? THAT was the Teaparty Express. Pages 3: Photo of Kenan Thompson, Darla Khazei, Abaca Press / MCT; All #debtceiling” -@DCdebbie others, Lionel Hahn, Abaca Press / MCT Page 4: Left, Courtesy of Chicago Tribune / MCT; All others, James Tutten

/ Valencia Voice “Tonight: The GOP has allowed Democrats to raise the Pages 5-6: Courtesy of MCT #debtceiling. Dems hope to move forward soon on permission Page 7: Ben Glass, Courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures / MCT for breathing and existing.” Page 8: Zade Rosenthal, Courtesy of Universal Studios and Dreamworks -@TheDailyShow Dist. Co. LLC / MCT Page 9: Chris Lee, St. Louis Post-Dispatch / MCT “Deal will save just enough to pay for bipartisan committee Page 10: L-R, David Elliot, Kansas City Star / MCT; Joe Roegate, Newsday needed to recommend more cuts. #debtceiling” @MoRocca / MCT; Doug Kapustin / MCT Page 11: L-R, Jim Prisching / MCT; Ron Jenkins, Fort Worth Star-Telegram / “Somewhere, there is a room of billionaires smoking cigars MCT; Patrick Farrell, Miami Herald / MCT and filling the room with maniacal laughter. #debtceiling” -@Ziggy_Daddy

“THIS JUST IN- I take cookies more seriously than Congress takes the #debtceiling. Or just about anything, for that matter.” -@Mrs_Landingham Follow us on Like us on “This is a prime expample of cutting off our noses to spite Twitter! Facebook! our face. #debtceiling.” -@MARLONLWAYANS All content obtained from MCT Campus is paid for by the Valencia Voice. NEWSNEWSNEWS OPINIONOPINIONOPINIONFEATURES FEATURESSPORTSFEATURES CLASSIFIEDSSPORTSSPORTS 6 Partisan bickering hinders progress Debt deal pulls the curtain back on political posturing in Congress

By Jeff Shedden of their rich friends, while disenfran- reason the debt ceiling deal took as [email protected] chising anyone who has the audacity to long as it did, is because everybody earn less than six figures a year. We’ve involved wanted it to come down to The drama is finally over and the got congresspeople who are as unfa- the wire. Professional wrestling has a House and Senate finally passed a deal miliar with the Constitution as they are term known as “kayfabe,” which is ba- to raise the debt ceiling. Thanks to the with Foucault’s Pendulum. Swirl in a sically when they pretend everything power of compromise and unity, we’ve complete lack of empathy or ability to that happens is real, even off-camera, avoided default. compromise, and top with a paranoia but everything is pre-scripted and the Bovine excrement. of Communists, Socialists and Muslims outcomes are known well in advance. All of this posturing and arguing that would make McCarthy vomit, and The debt ceiling deal and the back and partisan politics was pointless. you have the present political climate. and forth between the Democrats and Obama would have t invokes the 14th The Democrats aren’t much - the Republicans and the House and the Amendment and raised the debt ceil- ter. Most are so terrified of losing their Senate was kayfabe at it’s finest. ing himself if an agreement hadn’t seats, that they take weak, centrist po- We’re being treated like idiots and been reached. This would have the sitions and become indistinguishable our political system is being presented added benefit of not having to cut into from your typical Conservative, except like a combination of reality television programs that aren’t even contributing with less money. Modern Democrats and sports. People choose their team, to the problem. won’t stir the waters because the Re- and root for them blindly, turning even There’s a lot of places to point fin- publicans have made an art form out the most mundane of political deci- gers. Let’s start with the Tea Party. of turning anything a Democratic poli- sions into the Iron Bowl. These guys are the political equivalent tician does that is left of Mister Rogers Politicians pretend to know what of biblical literalists, rigidly adhering into the equivalent of eating babies. the Founding Fathers envisioned, but to their agenda, no matter how wrong But the gutsiest Democrats don’t they never mention that their prede- or misguided. It’s a group that had often seem to have much problem win- cessors did NOT want political parties. its leadership usurped by business- ning their elections. Al Franken isn’t They feared that a party system would men and paranoid schizophrenics who going anywhere, and Democrats ev- end up being a cesspool of bickering couldn’t pass a high school civics class. erywhere look to him as a beacon of and would cease working towards the The Tea Party claims to be non- what our politicians should be. Alan common good. Sound familiar? partisan, but how many of them ran Grayson is poised to make a comeback Get rid of the parties. If our elected for Democratic office? Their agenda is and can run on a platform of “I told officials had to run based entirely on simply to take every bit of Neo-con- you so.” their policies and integrity, the worst servative rhetoric and mix it with Ayn As for the Republicans, there’s not of the political gridlock would end and Randian fiction and treat it like the Ten much to say. They’re held hostage by perhaps we could work towards multi- Commandments. They’re an army that the Tea Party, who is perfectly willing ple parties and a more representational any hardcore Reagan Republican could to turn on any Republican who dares government. The biggest pothead in only dream of having. But they’ve have a civilized discussion with a Modesto, California deserves exactly grown too big. Democrat. They smell compromise like the same amount of representation We’ve ended up with a new batch of a shark smells blood, and the result is as the most uptight free-marketeer in criminal governors whose only goal is pretty much the same. Provo, Utah. to dismantle their states for the benefit The whole game is fixed. The only NEWS OPINION FEATURES SPORTS CLASSIFIEDS 7 One crazy, A smurfing good movie smart film Blue critters trade mushroom for Big Apple By: Mary Stevens Clumsy stumbles into a box that Patrick ‘Crazy, stupid, love’ is [email protected] Winslow (Neil Patrick Harris) is carrying to his apartment. The other Smurfs fol- more than a typical The Smurfs cartoon version is so low them by camouflaging themselves in 1980’s.The beloved tiny blue men (and a Blue Man Group sign. Patrick and his romantic comedy one woman) have truly come to life in expectant wife, Grace (Jayma Mays) , dis- this generation on the big screen, through cover the Smurfs in their apartment. the magic of CGI. Grace becomes very accepting of the Smurfs, while Patrick is too distracted by By: Mary Stevens But not everything has changed, the his job to pay attention to them. Patrick is [email protected] word ‘Smurf’ can still be used in several different contexts. For example, “Where a marketing executive who is under pres-

the Smurf are we?” sure to do his job right after he gets a pro- ‘Crazy, Stupid, Love’ is categorized The adventure begins when the peace- motion. His boss, Odile (Sofia Vergara) is as a romantic comedy, but don’t judge a The bro-mantic chemistry between Gosling and Carrel adds depth to ‘Crazy, Stupid, Love.” ful Smurf village is attacked by the villain extremely demanding, constantly threat- book by its cover. This movie is far from Gargamel (Hank Azaria). The Smurfs ening to fire Patrick. the generic rom-com formula of boy panic and run into the woods. A group of The Smurfs are very entertaining, es- meets girl, they fall in love, they have a pily ever after. cides to take him under his wing. Jacob six Smurfs are followed by Gargamel, in- pecially for kids. Each Smurf is named fight, they make up, and they live hap- This kind of movie only comes out is a very well dressed womanizer who cluding Papa (Jonathan Winters), Smur- after its character trait, but we learn once in a blue moon. It is smart, funny, gives Cal tips on fashion and picking up fette (Katy Perry), Gusty (Alan Cum- through the movie that, like us, Smurfs and unpredictable. women. ming), Brainy (Fred Armisen), Grouchy are complex characters. Jacob’s dating life changes after Han- (George Lopez), and Clumsy (Anton Vergara is great in her role, using her nah (Emma Stone) steps into his life. Yelchin). The group takes a wrong turn trademark accent to elicit laughs. She has Hannah is a law student that is differ- and they end up face to face with a portal, a very funny scene when she can’t pro- “... don’t judge a book by its cover.” ent than all the other women Jacob has which transports them to , nounce Gargamel. dated. Cal gets an opportunity to help a perfect place for the chase that ensues Kids will love this movie and if you his wing man out when Jacob calls and as Gargamel follows the hapless Smurfs. are a fan of the original cartoon your in- asks advice on how to act around Han- When they arrive at the Big Apple, ner child might just come out. Cal Weaver (Steve Carrel) is a sub- nah’s mom. urban dad that has unconsciously let Every single actor in this movie did himself go after 20-plus years of mar- an excellent job. The chemistry between Smurftastic tweets: Fans share love for little blue men riage. While on a date with his wife (Ju- Gosling and Carrel generates a lot of • slackermommy75- Jen: The Smurfs was actually pretty Smurftastic. :-) lian Moore) he asks her what she wants; genuine laughs through out the whole he says dessert while she says divorce. movie, but the actor that I was most im- On the car ride home she confesses she pressed by was Gosling. • LFals- Lysandra Falsitta: Just watched smurfs the movie :D Soo smurfing cute cheated on him with a co-worker named This movie has several layers, each David Lindhagen (Kevin Bacon). of which is unique and entertaining. • Planet_Tiffany- Tiffany Lane: The Smurfs is an amazing movie! :D Cal goes to a bar for days and com- One part didn’t over power or take any- plains about his wife cheating on him thing away from another part. The pac- • PsLolaLovesLala- Alyssia Briana: The Smurfs were so cute, i love that movieee to everyone in close distance. After two ing couldn’t be better. From the second it days of hearing Cal complain, Jacob starts to the second it finishes you will be • HouseOfNall- Jillian Nall: just saw smurfs in 3D with the kiddo :) Ryan Gosling is the ultimate ladies man. (Ryan Gosling) takes pity on him and de- entertained. NEWS OPINION FEATURES SPORTS CLASSIFIEDS 8 Six-shooters meet space Upcoming summer blockbusters By Mary Stevens D’Agosto, and Miles Fisher. A former agent turns to her step- [email protected] A group of co-workers cheat death children to stop a super villain named monsters and are forced to face the consequences Timekeeper from taking over the planet. What better way to beat the heat in the fifth installment of this long-run- on your summer break than in a air- ning series. Fright Night conditioned movie theatre? Thankfully Starring: Anton Yelchin, Colin Far- ‘Cowboys & Aliens’ there are enough upcoming attractions Glee: The 3D Concert Movie rell, and David Tennant to keep you distracted until the fall se- Starring: Corey Monteith, Dianna A teenage boy believes his neighbor boasts star power mester. Argon, and Lea Michele is a vampire that is responsible for nu- A documentary of the Glee’s cast on merous deaths, but no one believes him. By Mary Stevens tour during the summer of 2011. [email protected] Opening August 5 The Help Opening August 26 I wasn’t expecting much out of ‘Cow- Rise of the Planet of the Starring: Emma Stone, Viola Davis, boys and Aliens.’ I thought this was go- Apes and Octavia Spencer Columbiana ing to be predictable like all the other sci- Starring: James Franco, Andy Serkis, A southern society girl writes a book Starring: Zoe Saldana, Michael Var- fi movies out there. But boy was I wrong. and Freida Pinto. over a Mississippi’s town code of con- tan, and Callum Blue. Daniel Craig stars as a cowboy with amnesia The movie kept me on the edge of my A scientist performs animal testing duct (circa 1960’s) and makes unpre- A young woman grows up being a and a mysterious connection to the aliens. seat the whole time. on an apes, which leads the apes to be- dictable friendships. killer hoping to find the men who killed Set in the 1800’s in a small cowboy come extremely intelligent and seek re- her parents in front of her when she was town in Arizona, the movie’s opening most of the people in the town, Lonergan venge. just a child. scene depicts Jake Lonergan (Daniel must team up with the locals to try take Opening August 19 Craig) waking up in the middle of the back some of their people. The Change Up Our Idiot Brother Colonel Dolarhyde, (Harrison Ford) Starring: Ryan Reynolds, Jason Bate- Conan the Barbarian Starring: Paul Rudd, Elizabeth the richest man in the small town, tags man, and Oliva Wilde. Starring: Jason Momoa, Ron Peri- Banks, and Zooey Deschanel. along to rescue his son from the aliens. A family man switches bodies with man, and Rose McGowan Three sisters are forced to take in “The movie kept me on the edge of Ford wore the essential cowboy hat after his womanizing best friend and finds Conan the Cimmerian adventures their homeless brother who causes cha- my seat the whole time.” much cajoling by producers, rumor has their lives are polar opposites. through the continent of Hyboria seek- os in their lives. it. The actor was afraid the cowboy hat ing to avenge his father’s death. would have too much of a resemblance of the hat he wore in Indiana Jones. Opening August 12 One Day Opening August 31 Arizona desert with a mysterious device Elle (Oliva Wilde), the only woman on Starring: Anne Hathaway, Jim Stur- around his wrist. He takes a horse from the journe,y believes she can help Loner- 30 Minutes or Less gess, and Patricia Clarkson. The Debt some unlucky cowboy and rides into a gan with his amnesia. The best part about Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Aziz An- Dexter and Emma check in with Starring: Helen Mirren, Sam small town. He has no memory of who he this movie was Lonergan learning his sari, and Nick Swardson. each other every year on the same day Worthington, and Tom Wilkinson. is, but throughout the movie he has flash- past. This is because the audience only Two phony criminals kidnap a piz- to reflect where they are in their lives. Two retired secret agents hear shock- knows what he knows. Setting up the au- za delivery guy and force him to rob a backs of his past and slowly discovers the ing news about their former colleague dience to run in the same wavelength as bank by strapping a bomb to his chest. dark person he was. Spy Kids: All the time in the and set off on a thrilling espionage mis- the main character. World in 4D Lonergan comes into town, picks a sion set in 1997. fight, and winds up at the sheriff’s office, ‘Cowboys and Aliens’ might have a Final Destination 5 Starring: Jessica Alba, Jeremy Piven, where he is recognized on a wanted post- lame and unappealing tilte, but it was a Starring: Emma Bell, Nicholas and Joel McHale. er. But after the aliens attack and kidnap good sci-fi western. NEWSNEWS OPINIONOPINIONFEATURES FEATURESSPORTS CLASSIFIEDSSPORTS 9

time. After giving away their two best as- sets and receiving young talent in return, the new players won’t be MLB-ready for Sports Nuts years to come. Next on the biggest loser list is the By Bryan Levine & Rofkens Petit-Homme Patriots and I know he’s hungry for a Su- New York Yankees. Equally as famous for [email protected] per Bowl. Who do you take to come out their off-season deals as they are for mid- [email protected] of the AFC East? season blockbuster trades, the Yankees RPH: Everyone knows the Pats are go- failed to make any moves this year. BL: The NFL is back and better than ing to win it. Plus with all that aggres- Although they have the second best ever. It seems like every team is making sion in Jets territory they are due to im- record in the American League, injuries big moves. The biggest move might be plode any day now. have been piling up for the Bronx Bomb- Nnamdi Asomugha going to the Eagles. BL: I don’t think that the Pats are going ers. Considering they are trailing rivals They’re calling themselves the “Miami to win it. There are plenty of teams who the Boston Red Sox in the standings, and Heat of Football.” have just as much of a chance as New the Sox made some big moves (acquiring RPH: I’m sorry I didn’t hear you over England. Teams aren’t even done signing SP Erick Bedard from Seattle), it is shock- the parade in downtown Philadelphia. people yet. Who knows what kind of “Su- ing the Yankees were suffice with what Eagles have Vince Young, Mike Vick, De- per team” is left out there to assemble. they have. sean Jackson, and the guy from the dia- RPH: I know, the Packers, plain and The biggest surprise was the pro-ac- betes commercials, Andy Reid. simple. By the way, why haven’t we talk- tiveness of the Pittsburgh Pirates. Nine- BL: Jackson is holding out for a better ed about NCAA football? teen years after the last time the Pirates contract. You would think after a sum- BL: UNC is the newest school to vio- made a trip to the post-season, they now mer filled with negotiations and a possi- late NCAA rules. They fired their head Outfielder Hunter Pence was traded from the Houston Astros to the Philadelphia Phillies. find themselves right in the thick of things bility of there being no NFL, that players coach and the AD resigned. Why does it for the battle of the NL Central title. would be eager to get on the field and seem like so many big programs are do- As the Cinderella’s of the National not continue to worry about money. ing such unethical things lately? Phillies win deadline sweepstakes League, the Pirates hope to delay the RPH: I feel like I am watching Jerry Mc- RPH: Rule number one of operating strike of midnight with the acquisitions of Guire. Show me the money! That’s what a Division I football program: Do not Astros trade away talent up - right field. Now that they have an all- Gold Glove winner and all-star Derek Lee it is all about, example USMNT just hired get caught. star to fill the void, the Phillies are nearly and former Cardinal Ryan Ludwick. a German to coach us to victory. BL: Let me stop you there. How By Bryan Levine guaranteed to win their division for the fifth straight season. BL: That didn’t have to do with mon- about rule number one being ‘don’t do [email protected] ey, that had to do with Bill Bradley not illegal things?’ The Texas Rangers, reigning American League champions, are also big winners at being able to coach the team to any RPH: Everyone knows the NCAA is the The biggest winner of the trade dead- the deadline. Backed by young solid start- big wins. But why are we even talking biggest hypocrite. If a player sells his line sweepstakes has to be the Phila- ing pitching and even better hitting, the about soccer before we talk about the jersey, he could get suspended, yet the delphia Phillies. With the best record in Rangers’ main concern was their bullpen. MLB trade deadline? The Phillies scored NCAA has contracts with video games baseball (68-39), the Phillies managed to No longer a concern for them, the Rangers huge with Hunter Pence. I don’t give any making millions off of players’ likeness- snag the best talent available, in outfielder went out and acquired two strong reliev- other NL team a chance this season. es. That should be the crime. Hunter Pence. ers in Mike Adams and Koji Uehara, RPH: I don’t care about baseball un- BL: That’s just the way it is. You make In 100 games with the Houston As- Pence’s former team were the biggest til October! The USMNT has their first money for the school while you are tros, Pence hit .309 with 62 RBIs and losers. Not only did the Astros give away game against Mexico Aug. 10. We will broke, and in return you get to go to the scored 49 runs. As the only Astros repre- their best player in Pence, but also shipped crush them like cockroaches. NFL and make millions of your own dol- sentative in the 2011 mid-summer’s clas- the speedy Michael Bourn off to Atlanta to BL: How about we talk about the lars. I think that’s a pretty fair deal if you sic, Pence has played his entire career for join the Braves. Bourn has stolen over 200 other kind of football. The Jets still think ask me. the sub-par team. bases in his career and commits very few they’re the best team in the AFC East, The Phillies on the other hand have errors in the outfield. but OchoCinco is now a member of the won the NL east every year since 2007, Houston will undoubtedly be stuck in and only had one gaping hole in their line- the cellar of the NL Central for quite some Astros also traded outfielder Michael Bourn. NEWS OPINION FEATURES SPORTS CLASSIFIEDS 10

derson is a week off of retirement and looking to sign in as a contributor. National Football Conference Saints Picked up Darren Sproles from the Chargers. Trades, inquisitions, money, drama, and winning in the NFC. New Orleans won’t miss a beat this season.

By Rofkens Petit-Homme & Mary Stevens lin had his contract extended. The Giants have also [email protected] re-signed with RB Aman Bradshaw. NFC West Cowboys [email protected] Seahawks Cowboys signed a 4 year contract with Doug Free Tavaris Jackson is set to sign with the Seahawks. worth $32 million, $17 million of which is guaranteed. He served as a back up to the veteran Bret Favre in Eagles the past two years. Former Viking Percy Harvin also NFC East Former Raiders CB Nnamdi Asomugha, the off- headed for Seattle. Giants season most wanted free agent, signed a five year Rams The NY Giants have released O’Hara and Seu- contract with the Eagles. The contract is worth $60 Seem to be doing well for themselves, picking up bert because of cap casualties, while Coach Cough- million; $25 million of that is guaranteed. WR Maurice Sims-Walker from the Jags and Safety Redskins Quintin Mikell from the Eagles. The have Sam Brad- Pick up RB Tim Hightower from Cradinals for ford coming off of the injury and are prepared to be Veteran DE Vollie Holliday. They also have re- second in the division signed WR Santana Moss. And at the quarterback 49ers position they have two rookies that are not worthy Re-signed Alex Smith for three more years, who of being named and two seasoned blokes that the stood out last year in an otherwise lackluster division. fans don’t really care about. Cardinals Kevin Kolb was traded from the Eagles to the Quarterback Donnovan Mcnabb hopes to make a big Cardinals. Todd Heap was just added to the mix NFC North impact with his new team the Minnesota Vikings. making the Cardinals an offensive power house with the names of ,WR Larry Fitzgerald,TE Todd Vikings Heap and RB Beanie Wells McNabb will be traded to the Minnesota Vikings but he is not going to get the salary of $12.5 million NFC South that he was asking for. This is mostly because the Bucs Vikings can’t afford it, but probably also because all DE Adrian Clayborn is the first to be signed from he has to due is hand the ball off to Adrian Peterson the first round draft choice to be signed by Tampa and coast to a Superbowl. Bay. He was the 20th overall draft pick in the first Bears round. The Bucs also added LB Adam Heyward on a The Bears acquired WR Roy Williams from the three year deal. Cowboys. The Bears just added another former Falcons Cowboy to their team; running back Marion Barber Falcons signed former Viking DE Ray Edwards signed a two year, $5 million deal. on a five year contract, rounding out an already Packers fantastic team that could create some serious heat Seem to be laying low, seeing how the won the this year. ‘belt’ last year. Although head coach McCarthy has Panthers his doubts on initial flaws. The largest free agent contract was sign by the Lions Panthers. DE Charles Johnson will receive $32 mil- lion over six years, guaranteed, with a possibility Running back Darren Sproles will try to fill the shoes Signed Nick Farley from Auburn, turning them of another $40 mil. A lot of QBs in Carolina though, of former New Orleans Saints, Reggie Bush. into the true defensive power house in the division. Quarterback Drew Breeze will stay in New Orleans. Cam Newton, Jimmy Clausen and now Dennis An- NEWS OPINION FEATURES SPORTS CLASSIFIEDS 11

doing nothing else. American Football Conference AFC South

Trades, inquisitions, money, drama, and winning in the AFC. Titans Back in January Coach Corelle said his number one priority was to resign Hasselback. Priorities By Rofkens Petit-Homme & Mary Stevens clearly changed because Hasselback was sent pack- [email protected] ing to the Titans on Wednesday after a brief stint as [email protected] a free agent. Jaguars AFC east Picked up FS Dawan Landry. They also snagged free agent LB Clint Sessions from Colts, which Jets means Jags defense is getting ready to be a defen- Mark Sanchez is a team player. He wants to have sive force to be reckoned with. a winning season so bad he called his agent and told Texans him he would be willing to redo his contract so the The seriously overestimated and underperform- Jets could sign back Santonio ing Matt Leinart will stay with the Texans. Former Tennessee Titan’s quarterback Vince Young Holmes. The result: Holmes is still a Jet. Colts Palexico Burres signed a one year contract with will now play back up to the Eagles’ Michael Vick. Colts signed on kicker Adam Vinatieri for three the NY Jets. more years, and will keep Joseph Addai around. In- Dolphins dianapolis want to make sure their 4 time MVP QB Reggie Bush gets signed for a two year deal for Peyton Manning doesn’t go anywhere for the rest $10 million, just shy of the $11.5 he requested. we’ll of his career. To make sure that happens they just see if he’s worth the money in Miami this year. signed a 5-year contract worth $90 million. The con- Patriots tract states that $69 million of that $90 million will A definite steal from the Chicago Bears, the Pa- be paid in the first three years. triots picked up Albert Haynesworth in a three team trade. Plus the Pats picked up Chad Ochocinco to supplement into their offense. AFC West Buffalo Bills Picked up Tyler Thigpen, a quarterback with se- Chargers rious wheels and who knows how to run. The Bills Plexico Burress hopes two seasons removed from Bob Sanders agreed to on a one year contract also added LB Nick Barnett to their offense. the NFL will not effect his gameplay with the Jets. with the Chargers, and expectations are high for rookie TE Julius Thomas. tivities and incidents popping up, will the loud- Chiefs AFC north mouth, “Wouldn’t piss you out” Pittsburgh Steelers Picked up DT Barry Richardson and slot receiv- be able to sign the biggest NFL ex-convict this year; er Steve Breaston. Although they are very thin at the Bengals Plaxico Burress? Turns out not. Currently they quarterback position, Tyler Palko as a back up adds QB Carson Palmer is expected to retire after he have signed free agent Ike Taylor for four years. some bulk. The defense continues to develop with announced in January that if he is not traded he will Ravens the signing of Brandon Siler retire, and Bengals owner Mike Brown has said he Release RB Willis McGahee and TE Todd Heap. Broncos will not trade Palmer. Although the team has some Signed Vonta Leach, a Pro Bowl FB from the Texans. Re-signed Kyle Orton. So now there are three young blood, WR A.J. Green has some soft hands, Browns QB in Denver, which might be two too many. Cedric Benson also re-signs to solidify the run game. Are just finishing up the contract talks with first Raiders Steelers Raiders signed Trent Edwards as a back up QB Newly acquired Miami Dolphins running back Reggie round pick DT Phil Taylor. Other than that they are Bush takes a knee during team’s off-season training. With the season guaranteed, and off season ac- for Jason Campbell. NEWS OPINION FEATURES SPORTS CLASSIFIEDS 12

BOOKS Building Vocabulary Skills. Sherrie L. Thinking through the test. D.J. Henry SPN 1120& 1121. 1st Edition. $50. MAC 1105. College Algebra. Micheal Nist. 4th Edition. $25. Maria Sanchez. & Markus. $15. Jeya. 407-572-5597. Perfect Condition. Jefferson Zapata. Sullivan.$35 OBO. 321-280-0948 Accounting 407-285-3706. [email protected] [email protected]. 407-535-1576. MAC 1105. College Algebra. Sullivan. Literature & Ourselves. Henderson ACG 2071. Managerial Accounting. Talk it up (Listening, Speaking, and Brand new. Opened only two times. & Higgins. 6th Edition. $40. Steven Government & History $110. Monica Desai. 407-433-0105. Pronunciation). Joann Rishel Kozyrev. Original price $168. Asking $80. Phillippe. 407-218-9311. steven_phil- [email protected]. 1st Edition. $20. Maria P. Sanchez. Cassandra Graville. 407-770-3367. [email protected] AHM 2020. Making of America: A 407-285-3706. [email protected] History of the US, Volume 2. 5th Financial & managerial Accounting MAT 1033C. 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MAC 1105. College Algebra. Sullivan. Psychology & Sociology OST 1141 $60. Lucymar Carbajal. Management. Schermerborn.10th Female Roommates. Rooms available 8th Edition. 2008. $70. Lisha Reyes. 805-274- 5523. Edition. $60. Jeya. 407-572-5597. in a large five bedroom three bath- 407-953-4177. [email protected] Psychology. Saundra Ciccarelli & room home in Waterford Lakes. $450 Marketing the Core. Kerin, Hartley, ciacollege.edu. J. Noland White. 2nd Edition. $70. Laboratory Testing for Ambulatory per month. It includes power, water, and Rudelius. 3rd Edition. $50. Jeya. Includes study guide and concept Setting. $60. 407-733- 7115. Internet, cable, and a security system. 407-572-5597. [email protected]. MAC 1105 College Algebra. Sullivan. notes. Sharon. 407-485-4372. [email protected]. No cats or dogs, but other pets aloud. 8th Edition. 2008. $50. With CD. No drugs. No underage drinking. No The Brief Wadsworth Handbook. Man- Margarita Rosario. 407-401-5368. CHM 1025c. 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