BEGINNING A NOVEL
by
Hal E. Daniels
A Thesis Submitted to the Faculty of
The College of Liberal Arts in Partial FulfiJlment of the Requirements for the Degree of
Master of Arts in Teaching
Florida Atlantic University
Boca Raton, Florida
August 2002 Copyright by Hal E. Daniels 2002
11 BEGINNING A NOVEL
by Hal E. Daniels
This thesis was prepared under the direction of the candidate's thesis advisor, Dr. John Childrey, College of Liberal Arts, and has been approved by the members ofhis supervisory committee. It was submitted to the faculty of The College of Liberal Arts and was accepted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Arts in Teaching.
SUPERVISORY COMMITTEE: T~ST J~C_ (~
Vice Provost Date
lll ABSTRACT
Author: Hal E. Daniels
Title: Beginning a Novel
Institution: Florida Atlantic University
Thesis Advisor: Dr. John Childrey
Degree: Master of Arts in Teaching
Year: 2002
Writing a novel is a formidable task. The average 300-page novel must contain a
beginning, middle and end and is comparable to the structure of the movie screenplay.
The latter comprises a first act in which characters and their situation are "set up;"
a second act, which reveals the conflicts of the characters; and a third act, in which the situation and conflicts are resolved. The author, a community college writing teacher, recommends that his students create vivid characters and then write an outline.
The outline will serve as a roadmap, guiding the students from the beginning of their novels (the set up) to the end. Several famous authors, including Stephen King and
Elmore Leonard, insist they do not use outlines. Rather, they create their characters and project the novel to its logical conclusion, according to the parameters of character.
However, screenwriting guru Syd Field disagrees. Field believes an outline, written on a paradigm diagram, will keep the storyline on course and result in a more satisfying ending. The author agrees with Field.
lV TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter 1, Beginning a Novel ...... 1
Chapter 2, The Beginning ofT & T ...... 13
Chapter 3, Problems, Problems ...... 33
Chapter 4, Teaching the Beginning of an Original Novel ...... 40
Notes ...... 54
Works Cited ...... 55
v Chapter 1
Beginning a Novel
You love to write. You've published a short story in some obscure on-line literary
journal. You covered the police beat (or city hall) for the Podunk Times-Gazette
when you were younger. You've studied creative writing. Now you want to tackle
the Mount Everest of creative writing assignments. You want to write a novel.
If you think writing a novel will be as simple as that story you wrote about the
bank robbery or that short story you published, think again. The average screenplay
comprises 90 pages for a comedy and 120 for a drama. A short fictional piece might
contain 30 pages. The average novel keeps going and going and going ... until you've
wiped out an entire rain forest for approximately 300 pages.
Three hundred pages! Where on earth will you find 300 absorbing pages? Believe
it or not, the words you need are in a good dictionary and the plan is in your head, if
you know what you are doing. With a good plan, you can keep your characters in
line and your readers committed to your novel. Getting that plan out of your head and onto a piece of paper is what this essay is about.
Every effective piece of creative writing must contain a beginning, a middle and an end. The beginning (or first act) of your story is the foundation of the entire novel.
If the beginning, the first three or four chapters, does not set up the balance of the story, nothing will make sense to your readers. What's worse, you'll never sell the novel because agents and publishers are readers, too.
If the readers don't like your characters, they won't get past page five (if you're
1 lucky). If you are unlucky, they won't get past page two. If the readers don't
understand what your characters want to accomplish, they won't want to read your
novel. If the readers don't understand how difficult and challenging it will be for
your hero to accomplish his or her objective, they won't want to read your novel.
So, how do you write the beginning of your novel? Many famous authors will tell you to begin with three-dimensional characters. Create two or more memorable characters, give them a situation, and the rest is history, they say. But is it really that simple? I don't think so.
Let's suppose you want to drive your five-year old Ford or Toyota from South
Florida to Los Angeles. You figure you've flown to Los Angeles once before and you've seen Rainman in the movies and those characters made it by car to Los
Angeles, and one of them was autistic! If they can do it, so can you. And you don't need a roadmap. Or do you? So you're driving along, and you decide you want to take a side trip to Dallas. You follow the signs and you start driving north from
Interstate 1O ... and you get lost. What's worse, your old clunker is starting to make strange noises. You break down in Nacodoches. Ifyou had a map, you would have known that Dallas is 224 miles from Houston, and not worth the time and expense.
Your trip is over because you didn't know where you were going (and you forgot to fix your car).
An outline of your novel is like a roadmap. If you have an outline, you will not get lost. You will not waste time. You will know where to start, where to go, where to finish. Sure, you will probably make a few short side trips along the way, but you
2 will know at all times where you are going. And that is why I teach beginning writers
to create vivid characters and then write an outline.
Novels are like screenplays in that both contain a first, second and third act.
In the beginning (or first act), the author sets up his or her story. He or she introduces
the protagonist(s) and the antagonist(s)- the hero and the villain. However, the writer
must do more than merely describe the protagonist to us. It is not enough to know
that Huck was twelve years old and had freckles. It is better to know that Huck
"could sit up as late as he pleased; he was always the first boy that went barefoot in
the spring and the last to resume leather in the fall; he never had to wash, nor put on
clean clothes; he could swear wonderfully. In a word, everything that goes to make
life precious, that boy had."
Now that's descriptive writing, and that's how Mark Twain introduces Huck Finn to us in The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. (Of course, we meet the rascal again in The
Adventures ofHuckleberry Finn)
In the beginning of the novel (or first act of the screenplay), the author must tell the readers what it is the protagonist wants more than anything else. We must learn that the old fisherman wants that giant marlin more than anything else. We must know that Atticus Finch wants to defend Tom Robinson from a false charge of rape because the old lawyer couldn't live with himself if he didn't. Stephen Crane puts his readers inside the mind of a young boy caught in the maelstrom of the Civil War.
What does Henry Fleming want? He wants to be a war hero, but he has doubts. Will he skedaddle like a coward or fight like a hero? Will he survive the fury of war?
3 Finally, the author must let us know early on - in the beginning - what forces are
conspiring to stop the hero from achieving his or her goals. A school of hungry
sharks wants that marlin, too. Atticus Finch and Tom Robinson live in Depression-
era Alabama, and Tom is black. All white juries in Alabama, circa 1935, didn't put
too much stock in black defendants and their lawyers, regardless of the facts. Henry
Fleming may have wanted a medal for valor, but early in the war those Rebels were a
killing machine, and many a Yankee was mowed down.
Advice from Authors
Many authors instruct young writers to begin planning their novels by creating
three-dimensional characters they feel they know. Often, these characters are
composites of familiar people.
Anne Lamott, author of Crooked Little Heart and Hard Laughter, says: "Plot grows out of character. If you focus on who the people in your story are, if you sit and write about two people you know and are getting to know better day by day, I something is bound to happen."
Stephen King, author of more than thirty novels, starts with a situation. In his book, On Writing, published in 2000, King notes:
The situation comes first. The characters - always flat and unfeatured, to begin with- come next. Once these things are fixed in my mind, I begin to narrate. I often have an idea of what the outcome may be, but I have never demanded of a set of characters that they do things my way. On the contrary, I want them to do things their way. In some instances, the outcome is what I visualized. In most, however, it's something I never expected. For a suspense novelist this is a great thing. I am, after all, not just the novel's creator but its first reader. And if I'm not able to guess with any accuracy how the damn thing is going to turn out, even with my inside knowledge of coming events, I can be pretty sure of keeping the reader in a state of page-turning anxiety. And why worry about
4 about the ending anyway? Why be such a control freak? Sooner or later, story comes out of somewhere (165).
In other words, this indefatigable master of horror is advising writers to invent
a situation and some characters and let them play outside. They'll come to bed when
it gets dark, so don't worry about them.
"[ ... ]I want you to understand that my basic belief about the making of stories is that
they pretty much make themselves," King writes. "The job of the writer is to give
them a place to grow (and to transcribe them, of course)" (163).
And where is plot in all of this? According to King, it is "nowhere."
Elmore "Dutch" Leonard, king ofthe crime novelists with 36 novels (and
counting), is another author who lets his characters lead the way.
"I have no idea where it's going," Leonard told Detroit Free Press writer Joe
Grimm. "I have no idea how it will end. I just start it. Sometimes, Chapter 1 will become Chapter 2 or 3; one time it became Chapter 10."
The novels of Leonard are dialogue driven. He can catch the natural flow of
Words sputtering from the mouths of colorful street denizens like no other author.
Leonard is so good at depicting dialogue, he relies upon it to describe his characters and drive the plot. In his 1992 novel, Rum Punch, which became the movie Jackie
Brown, bail bondsman Max Cherry learns more about his dubious new client, Ordell
Robbie:
Max shook his head. "You're not my client until you get booked, and I bond you out." "You sound like think it could happen." Max gave him a shrug. "Ifthere's no -what do you call it - confidentiality between us? Why would I
5 tell you anything?" "Because you want me to know what a slick guy you are," Max said, "have a stewardess bringing you fifty grand." "Why would she?" "Now you want me to speculate on what you do. I'd say you're in the drug business, Ordell, except the money's moving in the wrong direction. I could call the Sheriffs office, have you checked out..." "Go ahead. They look me up in the computer, they won't find nothing but that bust in Ohio I mentioned to you, and that was a long time ago, man. It might not even still be on the screen" (54).
In a 1995 Miami Herald interview with book editor Margaria Fichtner, Leonard
explained his theories on writing: "I don't want my prose to sound like it was written.
I don't want the reader ever to be aware of me. I try to make it look as though I'm
nonexistent. Ifl were an accomplished literary writer.. .I mean, ifl wrote good prose,
if people read me because of the way I describe things, then I would do that, probably. I mean, that's the classic .way to write a book. But I can't do it. So I've devised this way, so I can use dialogue[ .... ] I try not to use words that my character wouldn't know or wouldn't use."
The Case for Outlines
Outlining or plotting your novel first does not preclude subsequent plot changes.
As I stated previously, side trips en route to your destination are expected. In my novel, an ethnic crime thriller, the villain is a seducer of attractive young ladies.
Originally, I outlined him as a 55-year-old man. Later, I realized that no matter how suave a 55-year-old man is, it is unlikely he's going to have much luck with beautiful co-eds. (Alas, there's only one Warren Beatty, and some people believe he is a figment of some Hollywood press agent's imagination.) I had to rewrite the character
-and part of the novel- to make him younger, and the plot, more plausible.
6 Outlines aren't infallible, but they will keep you on target to reach your
destination. Hollywood screenwriting guru Syd Field can't live without an outline,
which he calls "a paradigm." In his book Screenplay, considered in Hollywood the
supreme text on the subject, Field bristles while discussing the theories of authors,
such as King and Leonard:
'My characters,' people will say, 'will determine the ending.' Or, 'My ending will grow out of my story. Or, 'I'll know my ending when I get to it.' Bullshit! The ending is the first thing you must know before you begin writing. Why? Your story always moves forward - it follows a path, a direction, a line of development from beginning to end. And direction is a line of development, the path along which something lies. Know your ending ( 60)!
In other words, outline your story first. Know where you are going. Again, I am
not saying you won't change your story between the day you start writing and the day
you finish. In fact, you'll have to change it because an outline- like a fictive story-
must be dynamic during the creation process. It must be as alive as your characters.
Make all the changes you need, but know your ending and have a roadmap, an
outline.
Field calls the outline a "paradigm of dramatic structure" and it looks like this:
Syd Field Paradigm Act I Act II Act III I. 2. plot point plot point 3. @__ 1 ______@ __1 ____ _ 4. Set-up Confrontation (Conflict) Resolution (Diagram 1)
Near the end of Act 1 and Act II, you will notice two plot points. A plot point is a scene with an unexpected twist that sends the action off in a new direction. A classic
7 cinematic plot point occurs in Alfred Hitchcock's P:,y cho when Vera Miles turns
"mother" around and eyeballs a horrifYing skeleton with a wig and here comes mad
Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins). As discussed previously, a classic literary plot
point occurs when J em and Scout learn their father, Atticus, will defend a black man
wrongfully accused of raping a white woman. The Psycho plot point occurs near the
end of Act II, while the To Kill a Mockingbird plot point pivots the first act, the
beginning of the novel.
When using the Syd Fields paradigm to outline, list each scene vertically (See the
numbers on the left of the paradigm.) List approximately ten key scenes for the first
act, 20 keys scenes for the second act, and ten key scenes for the third.
Novels and screenplays are alike in that both tell a story- a novel with words and a screenplay (film) with sound, pictures and dialogue. The fictional structure is the same. Each can be outlined in a similar manner. Act I should contain one-quarter of the action. Act II should contain one-half of the action, and Act ill, one-quarter.
"In narrative writing of any sort, you must eventually seduce your audience, but seduce doesn't mean rape," writes William Goldman, an Oscar-winning screenwriter who is also a novelist.
In his 1983 book on screenwriting, Adventures in the Screen Trade, Goldman observes that the first 15 pages "are the most important of any screenplay." In that space of time, in the beginning of a screenplay or a novel, the writer must set up his characters, set up their situation. This is the "time, if you will, to set up our particular world," as Goldman, the author of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,
8 phrases it.
As with an effective novel, "a screenplay," writes Goldman, "whether a romance
or a detective story, is a series of surprises. We detonate these as we go along. But
for a surprise to be valid, we must first set the ground rules, indicate expectations."
Beginning a Crime Novel
Before I explain how I began my crime novel, T &T: In Pursuit of the Spectrum
Ripper, let's look at some advice given by a master of crime fiction, Raymond
Chandler. He lived from 1888 until1959 and penned The Big Sleep; Farewell,
My Lovely; and The Long Goodbye, among others.
Raymond Chandler's Ten Commandments of the Detective Novel
1. It must be credibly motivated both as to the original intention and the denouement.
2. It must be technically sound as to the methods of murder and detection
3. It must be realistic in character, setting and atmosphere. It must be about real
people in a real world.
4. It must have a sound story value apart from the mystery element; i.e., the
investigation itself must be an adventure worth reading.
5. It must have enough essential simplicity to be explained easily.
6. It must baffle a reasonably intelligent reader.
7. The solution must seem inevitable once revealed.
8. It must not try to do everything at once. If it is a puzzle story operating in a rather
cool, reasonable atmosphere, it cannot also be a violent adventure or a passionate
romance.
9 9. It must punish the criminal in one way, or another, not necessarily by operation of
the law .. .Ifthe detective fails to resolve the consequences of the crime, the story is
an unresolved chord and leaves irritation behind it. 2 10. It must be honest with the reader.
P.D. James, (Original Sin and A Taste for Death) is a female mystery writer from
England, who views crime novels as a battle between good and evil.
"The mystery's very much the modem morality play," James says. "You have an
almost ritual killing and a victim, you have a murderer who in some sense represents
the forces of evil, you have your detective coming in - very likely to avenge the death 3 -who represents justice, retribution, and in the end you restore order from disorder."
In the introduction to her excellent anthology , Stories of Crime and Detection,
Joan Berbrich lists five types of crime stories:
1. The general crime story. The emphasis here is not on the solution of the crime but the participants. Think Elmore Leonard or Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris. 2. The detective story. This is the domain of Sherlock Holmes (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle) and Hercule Poirot (Agatha Christie). A private eye must save the day. 3. The police procedural story. Here the emphasis is on the solution but the solver is a member of a police department. Ed McBain is a master of this genre. 4. The Gothic mystery. This genre emphasizes large mansions, gory murders, damsels in distress and handsome heroes. Berbrich nominates Mary Stewart, Victoria Holt, and Georgette Heyer as the best of the Gothic writers. 5. The spy story. From Ian Fleming's James Bond to Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan, this genre goes on and on.
My novel is a general crime story. The detectives are members of a small police department and police lingo is bandied about, but the focus here is on the relationship between the two partners, while they attempt to solve a string of gory murders.
10 What then are the essentials of my story? First, I have two very different
Personalities who must work together. The male is a veteran cop with a weakness for
whiskey and pretty ladies who aren't his wife. The female is a very pretty rookie
detective with a feminist philosophy. Something's got to give here. But before I get
to the individual background stories of my two protagonists, I have to hook my
readers with the first crime itself. In a brief foreword, I introduce kindly, old
Professor Honicker who teaches a history course on United States foreign policy in
Latin America. I mention the lingering resentment that exists between Hispanics and
"Anglos," white Americans. Thus, the crimes are subtly foreshadowed.
The readers turn to Chapter 1 and learn that Timothy Jackson "T.J." Cahill, a veteran detective, is narrating the tale. Next, I cut to the woods across the street from the campus of the University of Florida at North Cove. It is a sultry South Floridas night. A co-ed has gone out for a run. A stranger follows her into the woods. The beautiful co-ed never makes it out of the woods alive.
In Chapter 2, we meet Detective Tracy Ann Goldberg, first woman detective in the
North Cove Police Department. We see that she likes to work out, and she doesn't take kindly to the awkward advances of boorish males. You don't mess with this woman if you want to keep all your body parts.
We also learn that Tracy hails from a middle class Jewish-American home in
South Florida and has been taught Jewish history, starting with the Old Testament.
"The story of the Jews is a story of tragedy, followed by triumph," her father tells her when she is young.
11 In Chapter 3, we discover that Detective Cahill likes to fool around behind the back of his pretty wife, Erin, but that Erin knows what is going on. Before this chapter is over, she leaves him. We then learn what makes the detective tick, where he has been and where he may be going.
In this manner, I have set up my story. The readers now know that a mysterious stranger has brutally slain a beautiful college student. Two detectives are sent to find her killer. One is a rookie investigator, the first woman detective in the city's history, while her new partner is a veteran sleuth, whose wife has just moved out.
12 Chapter 2
The Beginning ofT & T: In Pursuit of the Spectrum Ripper
The beginning of the novel includes a note from th e author, a briefforeword and the first three chapters ofthe novel.
A Note from the Author
The following story includes sensitive information from my two collaborators, Ms.
Tracy Ann Goldberg and Timothy Jackson Cahill.
While Mr. Cahill acts the primary narrator of this saga, it would be physically impossible for Mr. Cahill to have firsthand knowledge of his fellow character's private life, much of which occurred behind closed doors. Therefore, this story shall employ dual narrators. Ms. Goldberg has granted the author permission to quote liberally from her diary. All such entries will be duly noted.
All events in T & T are purely fictional, with the exception of a certain hurricane.
13 Foreword
The portly, bespectacled man with the snowy white hair stood before the lectern in the auditorium. In front ofhim sat sixty-six poorly groomed college students.
Professor Walter Honicker silently counted the house while female matriculants gabbed with their girlfriends, and the males sat motionless with vacant stares as if they were sleeping off a late night drinking bout. A few yawned. Some glanced at their watches. Many were probably thinking that eight in the morning was a-good time to be in bed.
I'm supposed to have one-hundred students for this lecture, the old man mused.
Where are all the absentees? Oh well, I'll take care ofthem later.
The course, Political Science 2120, The United States and Latin America, was a fixture at the University of Florida at North Cove (UFNC). The 73-year-old academic had once been American ambassador to Nicaragua and Cuba, appointed by
Dwight David Eisenhower in the fifties. At one time, the professor had fancied himself a leftist, but only in private. By 1958, however, Honicker had moved to the right and was considered a scholar with a moderate political attitude and a father who contributed millions to the Republican National Committee. The former diplomat had always understood that the citizens of Latin America weren't necessarily communists and subversive threats to law and order just because they opposed right wing dictators.
Honicker also understood the two-way resentment that exists between Anglo
Americans and the Latinos. Teddy Roosevelt, master of "gunboat diplomacy," early
14 in the twentieth century, called the Hispanics ''jackrabbits" and "damned dagoes." I Hispanics constantly simmered under the domination of the "danmed gringos."
Honicker, for his part, realized the resentment continued in modern Miami. He long feared that Miami, with its large Cuban and Latino population, could be the scene of retribution for a deed performed long ago south of the border. He didn't know, however, that the day of reckoning was so close at hand.
15 Chapter 1 ofT & T
The chain of events that made heroes out ofme, Timothy Jackson Cahill ofthe
Bronx, New York, and Hollywood, Florida, and Tracy Ann Goldberg ofNorth Cove,
Florida, began during the long, torrid summer of 1992.
Call me T.J. That's what my friends in the North Cove Police Department do. My
wife, Erin, refers to me as Tim, when she's not calling me "you pain in the ass" and
"Timothy," when she's really pissed.
Ms. Goldberg, my punctilious partner, calls me "Cahill," in the interest of professionalism. She has also tagged me with "chauvinist pig" and "asshole."
Goldberg is single, in her mid-thirties and quite attractive. I don't think she's weird or into "alternative lifestyles," as the politically correct might say. Goldberg has simply chosen to be unmarried to this point.
I had the opportunity to visit with Goldberg many times, while she recovered from her injuries at Memorial Hospital. She told me all about her relationships with men, with her parents, her sister and her brother. During her convalescence, we grew closer, like brother and sister, which made me very uncomfortable at times. If you ever saw Goldberg, you would know what I mean.
Our story together started on a hot June night in South Florida. In the summer in
South Florida, the air can stick to your skin like a warm, wet blanket. This was one of those nights. Up to that time, I had never heard of Tracy Goldberg.
Raquel Pena had never heard of Goldberg, either. A twenty-year-old junior at the
University ofFlorida's North Cove campus, Raquel was the daughter of Cuban
16 immigrants. Rolando and Midiala Pena had arrived in Key West 22 years earlier
aboard a leaky fishing boat along with 20 other immigrants, all seeking a better life in
America.
Raquel had an older brother and a younger sister, but - beyond a doubt - she was the jewel of the Pena family. A winner of the Miss Miami Beauty Pageant, an honors student, a member of her school's softball team and a part-time fashion model, her future stretched limitless before her.
She liked to jog in the woods across the street from her school's campus. Her senior year was just beginning. No doubt Raquel was very excited, for she decided to take summer courses, which would allow her to graduate early. At about six o'clock, she slipped on a pair of shorts and a nylon top and went out for a run.
Another student told me she saw an unknown man, muscular and tall, greet
Raquel, hug her and follow her into the woods. The man wore orange and green shorts and a black tank top, had one of those belt bags on, and appeared to be out for a Jog.
The student- at this point- lost track of the pair. Nobody knows exactly what transpired next, but her is my educated guess, based on evidence viewed at the scene:
Raquel and the stranger walked into the woods. With her flowing black hair, full figure and long legs, she had many suitors. The stranger stopped the beautiful girl and turned her toward him. He took off his tank top and wrapped it around her waist.
Drawing the lovely lady toward him, he kissed her. Raquel tried to push him away.
The man, however, didn't accept rejection very well. Instead, he punched the girl in
17 the face, fracturing her right cheekbone and stunning her.
Despite her pain, she struggled to break away. Raquel scratched her assailant's
forehead and, for a brief moment, had him on the defensive. But her moment didn't
last. The tall stranger grabbed her arm and slung her over his shoulder. Then he flung Raquel to the ground. The killer straddled his victim, pinning her to the cool grass. He unzipped his belt bag, pulled out a white tube sock and stuffed it in his victim's mouth, muffling her cries. He quickly unsheathed a hunting knife from his belt bag and slit the girl's throat, from left to right.
The deadly stranger then plunged the seven-inch blade into the ring finger of the dead girl's hand and carved her ring finger off, as you would the wing of a
Thanksgiving turkey. He stripped the clothes off the young lady, and went to the trouble of meticulously folding her blouse, shorts and panties and placing them in neat squares next to the prone remains of his victim. The care employed by her murderer indicates to me that the killer knew Raquel Pena and wanted to show her what he regarded as respect.
Ian O'Connor, a lanky runner for the university's cross country team, ambled within ninety feet of the mayhem. "What's that guy doing?" Ian asked himself. As he ran by, Ian spotted the blood body ofRaquel Pena.
"Hey, what's going on here?" Ian shouted at the stranger. The bare-chested assailant rose to his feet, clutching something in his fist, but Ian concentrated on the man's face. He wanted to give the police an accurate description.
"What did you do to that girl?"
18 The bare-chested man, however, remained silent, perhaps smiling grimly at Ian.
When the stranger was barely a foot away from the boy, he plunged the hunting knife into Ian's stomach.
Ian gasped, doubled over, barely able to call for help, his own blood pooling inside his mouth. Then Ian O'Connor collapsed to the ground.
Unconcerned with his latest victim, the stranger then returned to the body of
Raquel Pena and went about his ghoulish work.
19 Chapter 2 ofT & T
"So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999 ... " The rhythmic beat of Prince's "1999"
blared from the speakers and filled the gymnasium as Tracy Goldberg kicked her legs
up and down, trying to keep up with the rest of her aerobics class.
A pack of Marlboros (no filters) had wrecked her wind, but Tracy had just quit for
the third time in the past nine months, and there was no way she was going to be left
behind. The svelte thirty-five year old kicked and turned with the younger girls, her
long, silky brown hair dancing beside her.
A lanky, swarthy man sat at the LAT pulldown machine and gawked at Tracy's
long, lean stems. Roland Nowicki had first laid eyes on Tracy a month before. And he showed up at the spa in A ventura every Wednesday night. This time, he was going to meet her.
I wonder what she does for a living? Probably another princess, like the rest of them. Between jobs, living offdaddy.
The music stopped. The aerobics ended. Tracy picked up her leather bag in the comer. She walked ramrod straight down the stairway and out the door. Roland
Nowicki, in his tear-away tank top and sweat pants, met her outside in the parking lot, like the big bad wolf waiting for you know who. He was lean and muscular, about six feet two, clad in a black top and blue sweat pants, worn skin tight.
"Hey, miss, you shouldn't be walking to your car by yourself, not in this neighborhood."
"Uh, that's all right. I can handle it."
20 Roland, however, wasn't taking no for an answer. Tracy broke into a trot toward
her 1990 Nissan 280Z, parked sixty feet away, but the tall man trotted with her, step
for step. She glanced at the stranger, while reaching into the pocket of her workout jacket for her keys. Tracy reached the car and inserted the keys into the doorlock, but
her unwanted suitor snatched the keys from the lock and stuffed them into his pants pocket.
"Oh, why are you in such a hurry?"
"Because I am working the six a.m. shift. Now give me back my keys!"
"I'm just trying to be friendly, sweetheart. How bout we grab a cup of coffee at the Unicorn? I promise I won't bite."
"Maybe some other time."
"Okay. How bout you gimme your number."
"Why don't you give me yours? I'll call you, I promise."
The words chafed some nerve deep in Nowicki's soul. "You princesses are all alike," he snarled. "You think you're better than I am, and you're not."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Tracy shouted back.
He grabbed Tracy's face with his palms and pressed his lips against hers, as she resisted. Then the man pressed her against her car, preparing to pounce.
"That does it!" Tracy growled. And with that, she kicked out with both her legs.
Her right leg and foot connected solidly with her assailant's groin. Nowicki doubled over in pain. Wasting no time, she pinned his right arm against his back.
"Now listen up, asshole, I'm a cop," she purred into his ear. "I should arrest you
21 for assault, but I think I'm going to forget this ever happened."
She twisted his arm tighter. "You understand?"
He nodded. "You bother me or any other woman here again, and I'll kick your fuckin' ass from here to South Beach. And, then, I'll bust you!"
Tracy released her attacker, and he scampered away, like a scared child. As he disappeared into the night, she wondered why she hadn't arrested him.
For what? she pondered. For aggravated kissing?
She leaned against her car and drew a cigarette from her bag. Do I have what it takes to be the first woman detective in North Cove?
Myra Goldberg could never understand why her older sister wanted to be a police officer. A 30-year-old housewife and mother of two small children, Myra had swallowed the drivel her parents fed her - hook, line and sinker. You should marry a doctor or lawyer. You should marry a professional. You should marry a man "of means." Or you won't be happy.
Tracy's mother, Miriam, had married a dentist, a man with status in the community. And the union was a good one, enduring 45 hard fought years. Miriam constantly harped at Tracy's choice of career.
"Why do you want to be a cop?" the mother hectored her daughter. "I tell you it's not normal. When are you going to quit and get married?"
"Mom," Tracy would reply, "I'll get married when I meet the right man!"
Myra had snagged her gynecologist (''Why not? He's the only man who knows me inside and out," she would reason.) Their marriage sent Miriam into orgasmic spasms
22 of unbridled rapture.
"See, your sister has some sense," Mother Miriam reminded her elder daughter.
"She married a man of substance."
"Mom, Leonard's been cheating on her with his nurse for a year now. Everybody knows it."
Miriam Goldberg nearly fell over in shock. "How can you say such a thing about your own flesh and blood?"
"Because I see him and his nurse at The Olive Garden restaurant at least once a month!"
"So? He likes Italian food. What's wrong with that?"
"He's not kissing the eggplant, mom." Tracy would then shut up and excuse herself out the door.
Her father, Lewis Goldberg always supported Tracy's career. Now 70 years old,
Lewis still played tennis every Sunday with his "little girl." And every game went about the same: Tracy would shut Lewis out the first six games. Tracy would then serve the first game of the second set. And just as she would raise her arm to serve,
Lewis would clutch his chest, yell out, "Excuse me!" and sit down on the court.
Tracy would run over to her father and frantically ask how he was feeling.
"Don't bury me yet," the old man would say. Then he would rise to his feet. "Just take it easy on the old man, okay?"
"Are you sure you're all right, dad?"
Lewis would nod. Tracy would go back to her side and immediately double fault.
23 Thinking more about her father's welfare than her tennis game, Tracy would lose
Every match because, in tennis, concentration is as important as skill. Lewis knew this. Actually, he was as healthy as a racehorse. And he rarely lost at anything- except at Gulfstream Racetrack.
Lewis Emanuel Goldberg grew up in the Flatbush section ofBrooklyn, New York, the son of Orthodox, second generation Jewish-Americans. His father wore the traditional yannulke on his head, a sign of faith. His father and his mother went to
Temple every Saturday morning, dragging Lewis with them. Lewis carried his faith in God with him through the years but dropped the rituals. He attended religious services only on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, the high holy days. He never wore anything on his head. Miriam joked that he husband wanted to show off his full head of thick hair, once dark brown, now pure silver.
But Lewis taught his girls the meaning ofbeing Jewish. He would read the Bible to Tracy and Myra. He particularly loved the book of Exodus- the story of Moses, the Ten Commandments, the journey through the Sinai Desert and Passover.
When Tracy was five, she sat on her father's knee and heard him read from
Exodus:
"And He said: Behold, I make a covenant. Before all your people I will do marvels such as have not been done in all the earth, nor in any nation; and all the people among whom you are shall see the work of the Lord. For it is an awesome thing that I will do for you. Observe what I command you this day. Behold, I am driving out from before you the Amorite and the Canaanite and the Hittite and Perizite and Hivite and the Jebusite. Take heed of yourself, lest you make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land where you are going, lest it be a snare in your midst. But you shall destroy their altars, break their sacred pillars and cut down their wooden images (for you shall worship no other god, for the Lord ... ") (Exodus 33:10)
24 On the day of her Bat Mitzvah, the Jewish coming of age ritual for girls, Lewis
took Tracy aside and told her: "The story of the Jews is a story of tragedy, followed
by triumph; for example, the tragedy of slavery in Egypt and the triumph of Exodus;
the tragedy of the Holocaust and the triumph of Israel. You, too, my daughter, will
experience the reversal of fortune so familiar to our people."
As a thirteen-year-old middle school student, Tracy had no idea what he was
talking about. But, in time, she would learn. She would grow into a beautiful young
woman with the physique of an Olympic swimmer, standing five-feet-ten-inches tall.
While Tracy got along famously with her father, she and her younger sister spoke
to each other only at family gatherings, such as Passover Seders (the traditional feast), weddings, anniversary parties. The two could never agree. Myra lived to play tennis at the club with her friends and to let "Lenny Baby" support her and the children.
Tracy, on the other hand, had vowed to never let any man run her life. She could make it quite well on her own, thank you. Engaged at one time to marry a trial attorney, she called off the wedding after her betrothed told her to quit the police academy. Still, she did have a romantic side, and she wasn't getting any younger.
She was a freshmen in college, studying in Gainesville, majoring in elementary education, when her life changed. Tracy and her roommate, Lina, were watching
Saturday Night Live. They were both twenty. They had spent the evening drinking beer at a nightclub near the University of Florida campus with their friend, Trevor
Harris, a black student active in student government. Lina, a perky, petite Cuban-
25 American, had a boyfriend named Rick, who was wont to drink too many rum and
Cokes every Saturday night. Rick was a muscular, stocky young man, 23 years old.
He had long ago flunked out ofUF and was now selling used cars in nearby Ocala.
On the screen of the ancient Zenith in the small living room were Hans and Franz, calling Dennis Miller "a girly man." A key turned in the door lock. Rick burst into the room, stinking of cheap rum and yelling, "You little slut! I heard about you and the coon."
Lina shot up from the couch to confront him. "What are you talking about?"
"My bud told me about that black dude."
"You mean Trevor?" Rick nodded.
"He's just a friend."
POW! Rick's fist exploded into the little lady's jaw. Lina crashed to the floor.
Incensed, Tracy leapt onto the man's back. "You asshole! How could you hit her like that?"
She rode him like a cowboy astride a bucking bronco. They bucked around the living room until Tracy lost her grip and flew off his back, sailing ten feet through the air, slamming into the television set. The screen exploded into a million glass shards, and she fell onto the floor, unconscious. Ten minutes later, Tracy regained her senses on her living room floor. Lina had two black eyes; Tracy, a nasty gash on her brow.
Rick was gone.
She had done more than regain consciousness, however. Tracy now found herself with a brand new consciousness: she was now, in her mind, The Female Avenger.
26 Rick Orsino had rendered her a victim, and Tracy didn't relish the role.
She dropped out of school, shocking her mother. She moved back to North Cove.
Rick, meanwhile, had fled the state after Tracy convinced Lina to file aggravated
assault charges. His whereabouts were unknown.
One moonlit night, she ascended the stairs to the roof of her apartment building
and stared down at the ribbon-like Intracoastal Waterway. Teaching young children no longer appealed to her. She needed more, more adventure, something edgier. Her fellow women needed her. She fixed her gaze on the full moon and placed her right hand over her heart, as if taking an oath of office. "I swear to God I will become a police officer and catch that creep and all others who hurt the innocent," she intoned to the heavens. The next day she applied for a spot at the police academy. Six months later, her application was accepted, and she entered the academy.
* * * * * The third- and youngest- Goldberg sibling was Jonathan, Tracy's 29-year-old brother. A gaunt six footer, he was as shy and introverted as Tracy was feisty.
Jonathan had once been unjustly accused of rape by a University of Miami co-ed, who had dated him while he was a student there. A detective discovered that the girl bore a grudge over the messy breakup. The charge was ultimately dropped.
Jonathan compensated for his shyness with a head for business. Not quite thirty, he already ran a thriving flower shop in trendy South Beach. The popular shop attracted customers from all over South Florida.
27 Chapter 3 ofT & T
I was sitting on my couch, watching Michael Jordan elbow Gary Payton in the
chest, before bouncing off him and spinning three hundred and sixty degrees and
cooly swishing a fifteen footer, when my wife Erin entered the living room and just
stared at me. Now, Erin was my first love. I fell hard for the long blonde hair, the
slim waist, and the plump mounds of flesh pushing against her tight, red sweater.
Now, she looked a little older- and angrier- than I ever remembered her being, as she
. moved toward the television and did the unthinkable. She clicked off the set, while I,
her husband, watched a BIG GAME. This would be like me telling my wife she
absolutely had to skip the Fourth of July sale at Burdines. I rose from the couch,
angry. "What the fuck you do that for?" I turned on the set.
"We have to talk." She turned off the television. "I know about you and that woman."
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"I know about you and what's her name."
"Judy?"
Erin grabbed an ashtray and flung it at me. I ducked as it whizzed over my head.
"Yeah, Judy! And this isn't Jeopardy. You didn't have to answer my question so
fast."
"I know it's not Jeopardy. If it was, I would have answered in the form of a question. Like, "Who was Judy?"
"You asshole!"
28 "Erin, baby, she moved back to Jersey two months ago. It's over. I swear it."
"You're damn right it's over. I'm leaving you, and I'm taking the kids."
I pleaded with her. I begged. I cajoled. I even wheedled. No use. Erin fled with
our two children, Katey and Eric, to her parents' home in Delray Beach.
That night I slept alone for the first time in ten years. Granted, many nights I was
lucky to grab four hours of Z's, but Erin was always by my side. Now there was a
gaping hole in my bed and the same nightmare in my head.
I'm out on a collar with my partner, Mike "Scar" Scarpetti. Scar walks through the
door of the stucco house that resembles a bunker. I hear the blast of a 12-gauge
shotgun. I see Scar flying backward into my gut, knocking me onto my backside. I roll Scar over. His face is a mass of bone and blood. I double over in pain and anguish. I try to vomit, but there is nothing to give. I gain control of my actions and check Scar again. He is stone dead. I reach for my nine-millimeter Glock and run into the house, but the perpetrators are gone.
At this moment, I always awaken. But Erin is not there to cradle and comfort me.
I think about the upcoming day, and I recall that today I meet my first partner since
Scar died six months ago. She is a woman, the first female detective in North Cove.
Her name is Something Goldberg. A Jewish broad, of all things.
I was born Timothy Jackson Cahill on August 15, 1952, in the Bronx. I got into my first serious street fight when I was ten. Some nameless Italian kid jumped me.
He called me "Dirty Mick." "Stupid WOP!" I shot back. Funny stuff. My best friend
29 ever turned out to be Italian - until he died at my side six months ago. I think I won
that first fight, although I lost a tooth. My face was turned into a New York City
subway map. But you should have seen the other guy.
My brother Jay is my only living relative. A New York firefighter until Scotch
whiskey consumed him, Jay moved down to Florida a year ago. I helped get him a job as a bartender in a little joint on Federal Highway. I don't see my brother too
often. We always fought like cats and dogs, while living under the same roof. Our
father liked to pick on Jay. I did better in school than Jay. I was a better athlete. But
Jay was better at pissing off the police. If there were an Olympic competition for ticking off cops, my bro would win a gold metal. There wasn't a bouncer in the
Bronx who hadn't tossed my brother from a bar.
Somewhere, somehow, the kindness oozed from Jay. He started to blame his troubles on the black people. And then it was the Jews' fault. And then the Italians.
Finally, it was my fault. Still, when he needs money, I'm there for him. He's my brother, after all.
I married Erin when I was nineteen, just before shipping out to Nam. I loved her so much, it hurt. I wanted us to be married in case something happened to me. I wanted our relationship to mean something special.
I remember the night I got hurt outside Da Nang so clearly. The moon glowed like a one-hundred Watt bulb. Ice cold sweat on my back, the fear so real I could grab it off my chest and throw it to the ground. I march with my comrades in arms toward
30 an enemy we can't see. A frog croaks, and we fall frantically to the ground, our M-
16's drawn, certain that Charlie is nearby. We scan the horizon, and see nothing but
the black outlines of trees. We snicker to ourselves and heave a collective sigh of
relief.
And then- BOOM!! A shrapnel grenade explodes the length of my body from
me. I collapse to the grass, badly shaken. My comrades are firing bullets into the
blackness, and an unseen foe is firing right back at us. I look down at my left knee
and see a bloody pulp, instead. I try to rise but cannot. And then I faint.
When I awake, my leg is in a cast, and I am in a hospital bed, back at base. My
left leg is shattered, broken in three places. My war is over.
The Veterans Administration paid me to rehabilitate my knee over the next year. I
recall cursing President Lyndon Baines Johnson for sending me to hell. Each time
my knee ached, I hurled expletives at our government for dispatching fifty thousand
youthful souls to a fiery grave, not knowing - knowing really- why they were dying.
Looking back, I am grateful for returning to my beautiful, young wife.
Upon my return stateside, I was faced with the most important question of my life: what to do with the rest of it? My resume to that point included one semester at a community college and two months at a local Denny's. What was I qualified to do?
The answer bounced back to me quickly: I would become a cop.
When my leg healed, I dragged my stocky six-foot-two-inch frame into the
North Cove Police Department and applied. Upon graduation from the academy, I spent three years in a cruiser. Then I passed my exam and was bumped to the squad
31 room, where I have been ever since.
How would I describe me at forty? My tightly packed 195 pounds is now more like 215, and my belly is starting to wobble. My wavy, black hair is beginning to make guest appearances in my bathtub. But, hey, I may be getting older, but my wife tells me (when she's speaking to me) I'm as immature as ever.
32 Chapter 3
Problems, Problems
As I stated previously, a novel is a living, breathing literary organism, prone to
change. To begin my novel, I have to set up my characters and their situation. A
violent murder has occurred across the street from a university campus. Two cops - a
male chauvinist and a feminist - are sent to find the killer and restore order. At first,
the cops don't get along, but, gradually, we watch them develop into a formidable
team.
I favor a first person narrator because it is more personal. I (in the guise of my
fictional character) am speaking person-to-person to the readers. Being a male, I
chose Detective Tim "T.J." Cahill to be my narrator. Cahill is married to the lovely
Erin, who has just walked out on him in disgust.
His partner is Tracy Ann Goldberg, first female detective on the North Cove force.
Tracy is a feminist through and through, but she has her needs. Being very
attractive, she gets offers.
Remember the television series from the sixties, The Avengers? In this show,
John Steed (Patrick MacNee) and Mrs. Emma Peel (Diana Rigg) are crime-fighting
partners who never quite mix and mingle. The sexual tension is unmistakable. The
setup here is similar. Cahill and Goldberg must never transcend their professional partnership.
Herein lies my first major problem. Because Tracy is sexually active and her sex life is private, Cahill could never know exactly what she is doing behind closed
33 doors. Tracy would have to volunteer the information to him. So I have Tracy offer her personal diary to Cahill, so he can tell their complete story to the public. I let the audience read her diary, just as Tracy lets her partner, Cahill, read it. In this manner,
I employ multiple narrators - Cahill and Tracy's diary.
The use of multiple narrators is not new. According to Margaret Drabble in The
Oxford Companion to English Literature, "multiple, shifting narrators" are part of the modernist literary movement, spanning the end of the nineteenth century until the start of World War II. Drabble cites Ulysses by James Joyce (1922) as an example of a modernist novel using multiple narrators.
"Ulysses focuses on one day in the lives of two Dub liners, using a mixture of multiple narrators (including many different third person narrative voices), interior monologue, stream of consciousness, literary parody and constant stylistic and technical changes," writes Drabble.
In Chapter XXN of my novel, T & T: In Pursuit of the Spectrum Ripper,
Detective Tracy Goldberg describes her date with her hearthrob, Rod Haley. A note, in bold print, advises the readers that the narrator is about to change:
(AUTHOR'S NOTE- Tracy Goldberg has agreed to let her diary tell this part of our story. The word "I" in the foJiowing paragraph refers to Tracy, not myself.) As Rod Haley and I left Senor Frog's Mexican Restaurant, Haley slipped his hand over my own. I didn't object. In fact, his grip felt strong and good and natural. We walked the seven blocks to Haley's house on Oak Street. He lived in a freshly painted ante-bellum style house with a front porch and a balcony featuring a wrought iron balustrade facing the master bedroom upstairs. Haley had inherited the house from his father, by way of his paternal grandfather. (167)
The bold-faced note warns the readers that a change is coming. When I
34 return to the point of view of Cahill, the male cop, I again notify the readers
beforehand. In this manner, confusion is avoided. When Goldberg's relationship
with Haley steams up, I want the readers to be there with them. However, I don't
want Cahill, her partner, in the bedroom with them. In real life, would a female
police officer invite her partner into her boudoir to share a private moment with her
and her lover? No! Therefore, the shift in narrators gives Goldberg some privacy,
while allowing the readers what filmmakers call "superior position." The readers can
see (in their minds' eyes) what a fictional character (in this case, Cahill) is not
permitted to see. This technique provides the readers with the illusion of intimacy
with the characters. In other situations, superior position adds tension to a scene.
Alfred Hitchcock used to speak of showing his audience a ticking bomb, but not
allowing his protagonist to hear or see it.
How Much Gore is Too Much?
In my first draft ofT & T: In Pursuit of the Spectrum Ripper, I graphically described the stabbing and raping of a murder victim. In the final draft, I begin the novel with the murder, but the act itself is described coolly and mechanically - with few gory details. The unknown killer punches his victim, stunning her. He then pins her to the ground and slashes her throat with a large knife. A male runner happens by and tries to intervene. He, too, is killed.
"Unconcerned with his latest victim, the stranger then returned to the body of
Raquel Pena and went about his ghoulish work" (from T & T, 7).
35 Note how the business of sex between the killer and victim is described as "his
ghoulish work." Later in the novel, the characters mention the discovery of semen
on the girl's body. The readers can connect the dots and fill in the details themselves.
I, the author, don't have to do that. If an author goes out of his or her way to depict
sex and violence in a vivid manner, the gore will be labeled "gratuitous" or
"contrived."
To lessen the graphicness of the gruesome killings even more, I "report" the first
two murders, as opposed to "write" them. I chose to theorize and report them as a
detective or patrolman would in a police report. When former cops become authors, they tend to write this way about true cases they worked. A great practitioner of this style is ex-F.B.I. profiler supreme, John Douglas.
Here is how I introduce the facts surrounding the first two murders:
[ ... ] Nobody knows exactly what transpired next, but here is my educated guess based on evidence viewed at the scene: Raquel and the stranger walked into the woods [ ... ] The stranger stopped the beautiful girl and turned her toward him. He took off his tank top and wrapped it around her waist. Drawing the beautiful girl toward him, he kissed her. Raquel tried to push him away. The man, however, did not accept rejection very well. Instead, he punched the lady in the face ... (5)
And I proceed with the narration until I come to the murders. In this manner, I invite the readers into a crime investigation, and not merely a crime novel. This is how detectives work. They view the evidence at the scene, have it analyzed, and then draw conclusions. As a crime reporter for a Scripps-Howard daily in the Miami area,
I read countless such reports. I added to my knowledge by reading many true crime stories.
36 T & Tis a story about a vicious killer who claims jive lives. A man who kills five
times is obviously prone to violence. The story, therefore, wouldn't be believable if the novel were totally devoid of gore. But I want the killings depicted as tastefully as possible.
Remember when we discussed outlines in Chapter 1? British horror novelist Guy
Smith (Dead End) believes the degree of violence in a novel should be decided beforehand, when writing an outline, which he calls "synopsis stage."
"You have built up your characters and storyline; violence should only be used where it falls naturally into the story and suits the characters," Smith writes in his book Writing Horror Fiction. "If it is used gratuitously, it will stand out plainly as contrived."
Thomas Harris' brilliant The Silence of the Lambs is arguably the most horrifying crime novel ever written. The horror, however, was described tastefully, according to Smith.
"The gruesome parts in The Silence ofthe Lambs were cleverly done," Smith notes. "You heard about the serial killer's mutilations secondhand; i.e., dialogue between police officers and the chilling psychoanalysis of the cannibal. Nowhere is the act of flaying a human being recounted as it happened."
Be True to Your Theme
T & Tis more than just a crime story. It is a metaphor for Jewish history, emphasizing tragedy, followed by triumph. The theme can be tersely stated: Jewish
Americans can be heroes, too. The novel is heartfelt. In the course of my literary
37 studies - and during casual reading - it became obvious that too many nineteenth and twentieth century authors allowed their anti-Semitism to infect their writing. The
brilliant Charles Dickens was compelled to make his teacher of pickpockets, Fagin of
Oliver Twist, a Jew. Ian Fleming saw fit to pit his superhero, James Bond, against villains of mixed Jewish heritage, namely Auric Goldfinger and Ernst Stavro 1 Blofeld. What this proves about Judaism is that too many European authors knew too little about it and didn't care much for it. With T & T, I aim to set the record straight.
In the beginning ofT & T, when I set up the character of Tracy Goldberg, I depict her on her father's knee, listening to the biblical story of Exodus:
And He said: Behold, I make a covenant. Before all your people I will do marvels such as have not been done in all the earth, nor in any nation; and all the people among whom you are shall see the work ofthe Lord. For it is an awesome thing that I will do with you. Observe what I command you this day. Behold, I am driving out from before you the Amorite and the Canaanite and the Hittite and Perizite and Hivite and the J ebusite ... (Exodus 33:1 0)
Exodus begins with the Israelites in slavery and ends with them en route to the
Promised Land. The tragedy of slavery was followed by the triumph of Israel.
In the 1940's, the world witnessed the Holocaust, followed by the great triumph that was the creation of modem Israel. Obviously, the struggle of the Jewish people goes on.
How do I parallel this pattern, this theme, of tragedy and triumph in my novel?
This is my greatest challenge. I start by emphasizing the J ewishness of my heroine.
Her name can't be neutral like "Ross Gellar" or "Rachel Green," the Jewish vanilla characters of the hit sitcom Friends. I don't want the audience to accept Tracy
38 Goldberg because they don't know she's Jewish. I want them to accept her because they do know she's Jewish. Unfortunately, this is a much more difficult t?sk. How do I accomplish this?
For starters, I depict Tracy as a victim of subtle anti-Semitism. In the beginning of the novel, a lowlife named Nowicki calls her a "princess" and then tries to sexually assault her. But Tracy, an off-duty cop, is up to the task. She kicks Nowicki's butt and sends him running away like a scared kitten. By making Tracy Goldberg, first, an innocent victim and, then, a heroic, feminine hero, I win sympathy for my character. She is likeable.
Now I show my hero, as a child, learning about her proud heritage from her proud papa. The Bible scene occurs on page 12 of the novel. By this time, the readers should know that one of the protagonists is a proud Jewish female cop. Hopefully, they'll be ready to root for her.
On page four, the readers have already learned that Tracy Goldberg and T.J.
Cahill, her Irish American partner, will team to try and solve a heinous double murder. This coupling of opposites portends a secondary theme - the need for ethnic teamwork or brotherhood.
To ensure a consistency of thematic writing, I suggest that writers of fiction prepare an outline first. Use the Syd Field paradigm and write in a thematic scene in each of the story's three acts. Only with an outline- a plan- can a writer make sure that he or she remembers to stay true to a heartfelt theme.
39 Chapter 4
Teaching the Beginning of an Original Novel
The young creative writer in the community college must be aware of fictional
structure. These neophytes must know what goes into a first act, a second act and a
third act. Since I am focusing in these pages on the beginning of a crime novel, I
shall concentrate on the first act.
In the first act of any novel, the author must set up or establish the story's main
characters. He or she must describe the protagonist(s). What does he (Let's assume
the protagonist is a male.) want? Does he want to run away from boring Saint
Petersburg, Missouri (which is what Mark Twain called Hannibal in Tom Sawyer and
Huckleberry Finn)? Does he want to return home? Does he want to date the beautiful daughter of the rich people up on the hill? Does he want to defend a man unjustly accused of rape? Do he and his friend want to buy a little farm of their own, even though they are flat broke at the height of the Great Depression?
Some great authors began these classic novels by telling their readers what the protagonist wanted in the first act, in the beginning.
The author must also tell us about the protagonist. What does he look like? How old is he? Is he well educated or did he drop out of high school? Maybe he's been booted from five private schools like Holden Caulfield. How does he do with the ladies? Was his father wealthy or chronically unemployed or a solid, middle class provider? Perhaps, he had no father at all. This exposition or back story of the protagonist's life sets up the direction of the novel, and it must be told in the
40 beginning of the novel.
On the other hand, the author needs to set up resistance or conflict for our hero.
He must have a worthy opponent. For Hemingway's old fisherman, it is the sharks.
For Tom Sawyer, it is Injun Joe. A formidable antagonist impedes the hero's trip
toward his prize, his goal, and captures the readers' attention. This resistance is set
up and established in the beginning. The readers won't learn the details of this
great conflict until the second act, the body, of the novel, but they should know in the beginning that the hero's journey will be a tortuous one.
Strategies for Students
Planning Lessons
As Stephen King previously mentioned, stories grow out of situations and characters. He insists that he rarely plots or outlines a story. Instead, he imagines a sticky situation and two colorful characters trapped together in a metaphorical room.
To prove his point, he offers an exercise in his writing primer, On Writing. King posits the case of Dick and Jane. Dick is a handsome control freak who weds Jane.
Shortly after their wedding, poor Jane discovers that Dick is jealous, physically abusive and paranoid, to boot. This is a match made in hell.
Eventually, Jane divorces Dick and gets custody of their daughter. Dick, however, doesn't take losing well. Dick stalks Jane, who gets a restraining order. The court document does little good. Dick catches up to Jane and beats her. Dick is incarcerated for aggravated assault.
One day, Jane comes home from work while her daughter is playing at a friend's
41 house.
Jane makes herself a cup of herbal tea, puts on the television set and lies down on
the couch. The television news ruins her day: Dick has escaped from jail.
What's worse, Jane has smelled the unmistakable odor ofVitalis hair tonic, Dick's
hair tonic, in the foyer. And now she's hearing his footsteps descending the stairs.
King, however, has a kicker for his students: write the ensuing climactic scene, but
reverse the characters. Make Dick, the victim, and Jane, the violent stalker. Don't
plot it; just write it.
"Narrate this without plotting it," writes King. "Let the situation and that one
unexpected inversion carry you along. I predict you'll succeed swimmingly" (173).
I want to plan lessons about both my novel, T & T, and about the potential novels residing in the minds of my community college students.
The first three chapters of my novel tell the readers that a co-ed has been killed in the woods across the street from a South Florida university. The readers learn that
Tracy Ann Goldberg is an attractive, 35-year-old detective, the first female detective in a small department. She likes to work out, and she doesn't take crap from anyone.
Her parents are middle-class Jews from a fashionable neighborhood, who have taught their beautiful daughter about the richness of Jewish history. Most important, her mother wants her daughter to quit such a dangerous job and marry a doctor or lawyer.
The readers also learn about the top cop in the North Cove Police Department
Detective Bureau. But despite his prowess as a sleuth, Timothy "T.J." Cahill has his shares of woes- his wife is hip to his stray dog tricks. In fact, she leaves him.
42 This unit would be most beneficial and productive if taught as part of a creative
writing course in a community college or university. The unit could be taught over
the course of six weeks, followed in subsequent weeks by how to write an effective
second act and how to write a third act.
Objectives for Lesson One
1. Students will be able to write the first chapter of a short story or novel, using given
characters.
Lesson One
Have the students read the first three chapters ofT & T Then tell them that
Cahill and Goldberg have retired from the police department and are now
running a restaurant together in a small Central Florida town. Have the students
write the first chapter of a novel, using the Cahill and Goldberg characters but in
a different scenario with different circumstances which the students will invent.
The novel can be of any genre.
Objectives for Lesson Two
1. Students will be able to create original fictional characters.
Lesson Two
Have the students read Rum Punch by Elmore Leonard. For three-dimensional character development there is no better author than Elmore Leonard. Then ask the students to write two-page biographies of two or more original characters for an original story. The characters can be two police officers or one cop and one criminal or one cop and his or her spouse. Or whomever they want to write about. Let the
43 students pick the genre. It doesn't have to be about crime. (Some students will want to write about something else. Let them.)
How old are these characters? How much education do they have? Who are their parents? Do they even have parents? How much money do they have in the bank? Is he or she a veteran? Is he or she manied? Does he or she have kids? What does he or she want more than anything in the world? All these questions, once answered, will provide students with some excellent character biographies.
Objectives for Lesson Three
1. Students will be able to create an original short story, using original characters.
Lesson Three
Ask the students to write an original short story of twenty or more pages, using the original characters described in the character bios. After completing this assignment, the students will be able to create an original story, using original characters of their own creation. Stephen King is probably betting that once the rookie writers know their characters, a story will flow out of them.
Objectives for Lesson Four
1. Using a paradigm, students will be able to analyze and dissect a novel, scene
by scene.
Lesson Four
Just as Stephen King abhors plotting and outlining, screenwriting guru Syd Field insists upon it. He may call his outline a paradigm, but it is still an outline. Have the students make a Syd Field-style paradigm:
44 Syd Field Paradigm
Act I Act II Act III plot point plot point ____ @_ _ I______@ __I "__ _ Setup Confrontation Resolution (Diagram 2)
Assign the students a choice of three novels, one of which they must read in two weeks. For example, give them a choice of Rum Punch by Elmore Leonard; Red
Badge ofCourage by Stephen Crane; or OfMice and Men by John Steinbeck.
Then, ask the students to outline one of the novels, key scene by key scene, from first to third act, on the paradigm. They can list key scenes vertically under the separate acts. For instance, in Rum Punch, in the first act, we meet our antagonist,
Ordell Robbie, who shoots a partner in crime in cold blood. Then we meet our protagonists, Jackie Burke, weary stewardess, and her new friend, the savvy- but equally weary- cop cum bail bondsman Max Cherry. Have the students identify the first and second act plot points, the points of the story where the action takes a twist in an unexpected direction. The students should be able to plot and outline the entire novel in this manner. Once a young writer can diagram a novel or a movie in this manner, he/she is ready to plot an original novel. I'm not saying there won't be changes made along the way. Changes, in fact, are inevitable. However, knowing where you are going with a story saves you plenty of grief and confusion. It never hurts to carry a roadmap.
Objectives for Lesson Five
1. Students will be able to outline an original short story or novel, using original
45 characters and the Syd Field paradigm, with a cohesive theme in mind.
Lesson Five
Have the students plot on the paradigm an original short story or novel. Ask them
to create at least two memorable characters, at least one protagonist and one
antagonist. Insist they outline at least ten scenes in each of the first two acts. The
third act can be- and usually is - shorter. Ask the students to identify a first act
and a second act plot point. Most important, ask the students to conceive a unifying,
cohesive theme that will join the characters in harmony as they journey from
beginning to end. Use this comprehensive theme as the outline's title.
Present the students with a list of popular themes. Ask them if the list of themes
contains one pertinent to their outlines. They can choose one of the listed themes or one of their own. (See list below.)
Require the young writers to include at least one scene in each of act one, two and three that reflects the stated theme. In this manner, the neophytes will write more compelling stories. A theme, after all, holds a great story together.
Possible Themes
Love conquers all. If you go to bed with a dog, you will wake with fleas. "Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - William Shakespeare. Money is the root of all evil. The rich can sometimes get away with murder. All that glitters is not gold. You can't judge a book by its cover. Goodness is its own reward. If the facts get in the way of the legend, print the legend. It's better to give than to receive (self-sacrifice).
46 Methods
I read Dumbing Down our Kids by Charles Sykes several years ago. It is one of
those anti-public school diatribes, written by a conservative journalist in 1995. Since then, I have taught in the public schools. Presently, I teach composition at the community college level. Sykes decries the overuse of group or team writing in the public, secondary schools. Writing is not, he explains, "a team sport." I agree with
Sykes. Therefore, when I teach creative writing, I insist upon independent projects.
For each student to learn, each student must discover his or her own unique talents on his or her own.
Before delving into the writing of original stories, give the students two weeks to read an assigned novel. Give them the choice of Red Badge of Courage, Rum Punch, or OfMice and Men. Let them see for themselves how masters such as Stephen
Crane, Elmore Leonard and John Steinbeck set up their stories.
Screening the film versions of Rum Punch (retitled Jackie Brown), OfMice and
Men, and Red Badge of Courage underlines the students' comprehension of the story's characters, themes and situations. However, wait two weeks between assigning the novel and showing the film. Some students will try to avoid reading the book if they know the film will be shown, forthwith. Surprise them with the film, two weeks after assigning the novel.
Assessment
For Lesson One
Using the characters from my novel, T & T: In Pursuit of the Spectrum Ripper, the
47 students are to write an original first chapter of a novel. They will receive a grade of
A, B, C, D or F for their first chapters, according to the following rubric:
A - The A chapter is fresh and original. The first chapter sets up an entire novel. In
this composition, we learn about the relationships of the characters and the
situation they face. A future problem for the characters is foreshadowed in this
chapter. Mechanical errors in spelling, grammar and sentence structure are minimal.
B - The B chapter is also fresh and original. In this composition, we learn a little of
the relationships of the characters, but, perhaps, not enough. Foreshadowing of future
events is absent. Mechanical errors in spelling, grammar and sentence structure are
slightly more than minimal.
C ~ The C chapter tells the readers about the characters and the situation they face, but
it sounds contrived and cliche. Ideas are repeated over and over again.
Foreshadowing is absent. Mechanical errors are more than average.
D- The D chapter fails to follow the directions of the assignment. We learn little or
nothing about the characters and the situation they face. The writing is sloppy and
full of mechanical errors.
F- The F chapter is so sloppy and full of mechanical errors, it is impossible to read.
For Lesson Two
The students are to create two-page biographies for two or more original
characters for an original story. They will receive a grade of A, B, C, D or F,
according to the following rubric:
A - The A bios describe the two characters in three-dimensional terms. We learn how
48 they look, sound, feel, maybe even smell. The author has employed all five of his or
her senses to tell the reader the story of the characters' lives to this point. The
characters seem like real people we have met.
B- The B bios also describe the two characters in three-dimensional terms but
valuable information has been omitted. For instance, we don't know how much
education one of the characters has received or if he or she had a happy or sad
childhood.
C- The C bios decribe the two characters superficially. We learn only a few surface
facts about the two characters; i.e., their weight and height and age, their hometown,
etc.
D - The D bios seem cliche, and fail to come to life on the page. We don't learn
much, if anything, from these biographies.
F - The F bios either tell us little or nothing about the characters, or they seem like
characters copied from the work of another author.
For Lesson Three
Using the characters created in Lesson Two, the students are to write an original short story. The students will receive a grade of A, B, C, D, or F, according to the following rubric:
A - The A short story contains a beginning, middle and end. The situation and the characters are fresh and original, although they may be vaguely reminiscent of another story. (But definitely distinct in some way.) The story is easy to follow and seems plausible, even logical. And, yet, it provides a neat twist at the end.
49 Mechanical errors are minimal.
B - The B story contains a beginning, middle and end. Like the A story, the situation
and characters are fresh and original. However, the story seems cliche and fails to
provide any surprises in the end. Mechanical errors are more than minimaL
C - The C story contains a beginning, middle and end, but the characters and the
situation seem either hopelessly cliche or totally implausible. There are too many
mechanical errors.
D - The D story contains a beginning, middle and end, but is too sloppy and
illogical to follow. The grammar and sentence structure is too flawed.
F- The F story is incomplete and fails to present the characters with any kind of
problem to solve. Nothing happens in this story. The grammar and sentence
structure is too flawed. It is difficult to read.
For Lesson Four
The students are to read one of the three following novels: Rum Punch, Red Badge
of Courage, and OfMice and Men. Then they will outline a novel, key scene by key
scene, on the Syd Field-style paradigm. They will receive a grade of A, B, C, D or F,
according to the following rubric:
A - The A outline contains at least ten key scenes in each of act one, two and three.
A surprising plot point (plot twist) is included near the ends of acts one and two. The scenes proceed neatly from beginning to end. The scenes in the first act set up the story. The scenes in the second act tell the readers of a vivid conflict. The scenes in the third act answer all questions and resolve the story. Mechanical errors are
50 minimal.
B - The B outline contains less than ten key scenes in each of act one, two and three.
There are enough scenes to tell a story, but some information is missing. After
reading this outline, the reader has more than one question about the story. One
plot point twist is included, but the other is missing. Mechanical errors are more than
minimal.
C - The C outline contains enough scenes in one of the acts but not nearly enough in
the other two. As a result, the plot contains gaping holes. Questions abound. Plot
point twists are missing. As in the B outline, mechanical errors are more than
minimal.
D- The D outline contains fewer than five scenes in each act. The story barely
makes sense. Plot point twists are missing. There are too many mechanical errors.
F- The F outline fails to meet any of the criteria for an A outline. It contains an
inadequate number of scenes with no plot points. It is so sloppy, it is illegible.
For Lesson Five
The students are to outline an original short story or novel on a Syd Field-style paradigm, with a cohesive theme in mind. They will receive a grade of A, B, C, D or
F, according to the following rubric:
A - The A outline contains ten key scenes in each of the three acts. Two plot point twists are included near the ends of acts one and two. At least one key scene in each of the three acts reflects the stated theme of the story. The story proceeds logically from beginning to end. The scenes in Act One set up the story. The scenes in Act II
51 tell the reader of a compelling conflict. The scenes in Act III answer all questions
and resolve the story. Mechanical errors are minimal.
B- The B outline contains less than ten key scenes in each of the three acts. One
plot point twist may be missing. At least one key scene in each of the three acts
reflects the stated theme. There are enough scenes to tell a story, but some
information is missing. Mechanical errors are more than minimal.
C - The C outline contains enough scenes in one of the acts but not nearly enough in the other two. As a result, the plot contains gaping holes. The stated theme is not adequately stated in the required number of scenes. One plot point may be missing.
Mechanical errors are more than minimal.
D - The D outline contains fewer than five scenes in each act. Plot point twists are missing. The theme is not adequately stated in the required number of scenes.
There are too many mechanical errors, making it difficult to read.
F - The F outline fails to meet any of the criteria for an A outline. It contains an inadequate number of scenes that fail to reflect the stated theme. It is so sloppy, it is illegible.
Conclusions
Effective creative writing is the most subjective of skills. If you placed ten writers of note in a room, you would probably hear ten different theories about starting a novel. Nevertheless, the lessons described herein will provide novice writers with an effective plan of action for beginning a novel.
Stephen King swears by letting the situation and two or more three-dimensional
52 characters carry away your imagination. He avoids outlining. Screenwriting maven
Syd Field insists upon outlining a story. Otherwise, he believes, a writer is bound to get lost before he or she reaches the desired ending.
By learning how to write vivid characters whom you know and by learning to outline on the paradigm, neophyte novelists can write well-structured, graphic stories that come to life.
53 Notes
Chapter I
I. The quotation was taken from J. Winokur's Advice to Writers, New York: Vintage, 1999, p. 96.
2. Ibid., p. 60-61. Winokur book above.
3. Ibid., p. 6. Winokur book above.
Chapter 2
1. For more on the subject of U.S. policy towards Cuba see Professor Lester D. Langley's fascinating study, The Banana Wars, first published in 1983 by the University of Kentucky Press in Lexington, Ky.
Chapter 3
1. For more insightful analysis oflan Fleming's James Bond series of spy novels, see "Narrative Structures in Fleming" by the noted semiotician and master of structural literary analysis Umberto Eco. A reprint of the article can be found in The Poetics ofMurder , edited by Glenn W. Most and William W. Stowe, New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1983, pp. 93-117.
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56