PRACTICE (FOUR IMMEASURABLES)

SESSION 3: Empathetic & COURSE STRUCTURE

Schedule 1. Mon Nov 23 – Loving- (& dealing with attachment) 2. Wed Nov 25 – Compassion (& dealing with ) 3. Wed Dec 02 – Empathetic joy & equanimity 4. Mon Dec 07 – Exchanging self with others 5. Wed Dec 09 – Tong-len (giving & taking) Recommended reading • Four Immeasurables – Alan Wallace • Buddhism with an Attitude – Alan Wallace

Settling body, speech & mind SESSION 3: EMPATHETIC JOY & EQUANIMITY

1. Review 2. ‘Compassion’ burnout 3. Empathetic joy 4. Meditation – empathetic joy 5. Tips for the practice 6. Equanimity 7. Meditation – equanimity 8. Q&A 9. Dedication 1. REVIEW

Two wings of practice Theravada 1. () – vipashyana 3 marks of existence 2. (method) – compassion 4 immeasurables

Importance of practicing both wings • wisdom without compassion (not grounded) • self-absorbed, disconnected • insensitive to others , unethical • compassion without wisdom (not in touch with ) • biased, unskilful actions • ‘compassion’ burnout, get taken advantage of 1. REVIEW

Compassion training • Four Immeasurables (foundation) 1. Loving-kindness Session 1 2. Compassion Session 2 3. Empathetic joy Session 3 4. Equanimity Session 3 • Exchanging self with others Session 4 (building on the foundation) • Tong-len (giving & taking) Session 5

• Dealing with attachment Session 1 • Dealing with anger Session 2

• Integrating into daily life Session 5 1. REVIEW

“Those desiring to escape from suffering hasten right toward their own misery. And with the very for , out of delusion they destroy their own well-being as if it were the enemy.” Shantideva (8C) Loving-kindness (Sanskrit: maitri; Pali: metta) • the wish/aspiration for ourselves & others to have happiness & it’s causes • 2 types of happiness – (temporal) & inner well-being (genuine) • causes of happiness – three higher trainings (ethics, concentration, wisdom) Compassion (Sanskrit & Pali: karuna) • the wish/aspiration for ourselves & others to be free of suffering & it’s causes • 3 types of suffering (duhkha) – suffering, change, all pervasive • causes of suffering – three poisons (ignorance, attachment, aversion) 1. REVIEW

“By extinguishing actions and mental afflictions, there is liberation. Actions and mental afflictions arise from misconceptions. And misconceptions arise from elaborations. Elaborations will cease through cultivating emptiness.” Nagarjuna (2C)

• misconceptions – inherently attractive/unattractive • elaborations – grasping to independent existence

Stages of cultivation of loving-kindness/compassion • self, friends, strangers, enemies • all living beings (immeasurable loving-kindness/compassion) 1. REVIEW

Attachment • definition of attachment: a mental factor that sees its object as attractive, exaggerates the object’s attractiveness and thus wishes to possess and hold it • 2 extremes – attachment & detachment (arising due to distorted view of reality) • middle way – non-attachment (ie. engaging without attachment) • dispelling misconceptions – need attachment to enjoy things, to have a relationship, to be creative

Anger • definition of anger: a mental factor that sees its object as unattractive, exaggerates the object’s unattractiveness and thus wishes to harm the object • dispelling misconceptions – need anger, patience, compassion is sign of weakness • cognitive fusion – bad person vs person doing bad action 1. REVIEW

Why do we get angry with others who behave badly?

Correct perspective Cognitive fusion (false/invalid perspective) person doing bad action bad person compassion address reject person accept bad behaviour

• compassion more easy • compassion becomes very difficult • balanced view of person • fixed biased view of the person • leads to co-operation • leads to conflict (ie. us vs them) • evaluating the behaviour • judging/criticising the person 1. REVIEW

Why is there so much low self-esteem & self-?

Correct perspective Cognitive fusion (false/invalid perspective)

I did bad action I’m a bad person accept reject

• evaluating our behaviour • judging/criticising ourselves • /compassion • condemnation/hatred • good self-esteem (balanced view) • low self-esteem (fixed biased view) • regret/addressing behaviour • guilt/not addressing behaviour 1. REVIEW

What is the solution to low self-esteem & self-hatred? • simply reinforce that “I’m a good person”? • danger of cognitive fusion 1. ego trip, not acknowledging any bad behaviour, us vs them 2. doesn’t seem possible so “I must really be a bad person” • answer: avoid cognitive fusion • ie. “I have done a bad action” instead of “I’m a bad person” • good-self esteem and at the same time address our bad behaviour Correct view • we are not our thoughts, , memories, habits, behaviour, personality etc • these are all things which we have • identification leads to mental afflictions & suffering 1. REVIEW

Dealing with anger/attachment 1. clear understanding of anger/attachment • what it is and how it leads to suffering 2. cultivating view of genuine happiness (preliminaries) • underlying source of suffering/happiness lies within the mind 3. using mindfulness (shamatha) • simply observing anger/attachment as it arises • and hence free of it (no power from its own side to harm us) • anger/attachment will simply dissipate by itself (not need to fight with it) 4. applying antidotes – eg. , emptiness (vipashyana)

Practicing these methods in meditation and then applying them in daily life. 2. ‘COMPASSION’ BURNOUT

From to Compassion in a Neuroscience Laboratory (https://info-buddhism.com/Empathy-Compassion-Neuroscience-Ricard-) Excerpt from the book: Altruism: The Power of Compassion to Change Yourself and the World (Mattieu Ricard)

“In 2007, along with , I was in Rainer Goebel’s neuroscience laboratory in Maastricht, as a collaborator and guinea pig in a research program on empathy. Tania would ask me to give rise to a powerful of empathy by imagining people affected by great suffering. During a pause, after a first series of periods of meditation, Tania asked me: ‘What are you doing? It doesn’t look at all like what we usually observe when people feel empathy for someone else’s suffering.’” 2. ‘COMPASSION’ BURNOUT

“I explained that I had meditated on unconditional compassion, trying to feel a powerful feeling of and kindness for people who were suffering, but also for all sentient beings... When I engaged in meditation on altruistic love and compassion, Tania noted that the cerebral networks activated were very different. In particular, the network linked to negative emotions and distress was not activated during meditation on compassion, while certain cerebral areas traditionally associated with positive emotions, with the feeling of affiliation and maternal love, for instance, were... So we arrived at the idea that burnout was in fact a kind of ‘empathy fatigue’ and not ‘’.” 2. ‘COMPASSION’ BURNOUT

“These three dimensions – love of the other, empathy (which is resonance with another’s suffering), and compassion – are naturally linked. When altruistic love encounters suffering it manifests as compassion. This transformation is triggered by empathy, which alerts us to the fact that the other is suffering. One may say that when altruistic love passes through the prism of empathy, it becomes compassion... The person who feels compassion and kindness can develop the strength of mind and desire to come to the aid of the other. Compassion and altruistic love have a warm, loving, and positive aspect that ‘stand alone’ empathy for the suffering of the other does not have.” 2. ‘COMPASSION’ BURNOUT

“So it was clear, from my perspective, that if there was an ‘empathy fatigue’ leading to the syndrome of , there was no fatigue of love & compassion. Without the support of love and compassion, empathy left to itself is like an electric pump through which no water circulates: it will quickly overheat and burn. So empathy should take place within the much vaster space of altruistic love. It is also important to consider the cognitive aspect of compassion, in other words understanding the different levels of suffering and its manifest and latent causes. We will be able thus to place ourselves in the service of others by helping them effectively while still preserving our inner strength, our kindness, and our .”

• empathy + lack of wisdom –> empathic distress (burnout) • empathy + wisdom –> compassion (no burnout) 3. EMPATHETIC JOY

Empathetic joy (Sanskrit & Pali: ) • the wish/aspiration for ourselves & others never to be separated from happiness (ie. a rejoicing in our own & others joys and ) • helps provide balanced view of ourselves and others • “For the moment, what we attend to is reality.” (William James) • avoiding cognitive fusion (praising action not the person) • you are a great person vs you did a great action vs that was a great action Obstacles to empathetic joy • near enemy: meaningless rejoicing –> antidote is loving-kindness • far enemy: / –> mindfulness, view of genuine happiness, apply antidotes (impermanence, emptiness) 4. MEDITATION

Empathetic joy 5. TIPS FOR THE PRACTICE

Dealing with near enemies (using Four Immeasurables) loving-kindness compassion (attachment) (despair) equanimity empathetic joy (indifference) (meaningless rejoicing)

Two supports for practice 1. Purification (reducing negative habits) – four opponent powers 2. Accumulation (increasing positive habits) – rejoicing & resolve 5. TIPS FOR THE PRACTICE

The four opponent powers 1. Regret – not guilt (based on cognitive fusion) 2. Reliance (foundation) – reaffirm positive direction in life 3. Remedy – practical remedy 4. Resolve – strong determination not to repeat the action (be practical)

End of day review • one negative action –> go through four opponent powers (compassion) • one positive action –> rejoicing & resolve (empathetic joy & loving-kindness) • one thing you received –> (empathetic joy) 6. EQUANIMITY

Equanimity (Sanskrit: upeksha; Pali: upekkha) • the wish/aspiration for ourselves & others to abide in equanimity, free from attachment & aversion to those near & far (ie. an impartial/unbiased attitude) • now biased (attachment to friends, to strangers, aversion to enemies) • cultivating: “We are all equal in wanting to be happy & free of suffering” • basis for immeasurable loving-kindness, compassion & empathetic joy

Obstacles to equanimity • near enemy: indifference/apathy –> antidote is compassion • attachment/aversion (far enemy) –> mindfulness, view of genuine happiness, apply antidotes (impermanence, emptiness) 7. MEDITATION

Equanimity 8. Q&A 9. DEDICATION SHANTIDEVA (BODHISATTVACHARYAVATARA)

May all beings everywhere May the naked find clothing Plagued by of body and mind, The hungry find food; Obtain an ocean of happiness and joy May the thirsty find water By virtue of my merits. And delicious drinks.

May no living creature suffer, May the poor find wealth, Commit evil or ever fall ill. Those weak with find joy; May no one be afraid or belittled, May the forlorn find , With a mind weighed down by . Constant happiness and prosperity.

May the blind see forms May there be timely rains And the deaf hear sounds. And bountiful harvests; May those whose bodies are worn with toil May all medicines be effective Be restored on finding repose. And wholesome bear fruit. 9. DEDICATION SHANTIDEVA (BODHISATTVACHARYAVATARA)

May all who are sick and ill Quickly be freed from their ailments. Whatever diseases there are in the world, May they never occur again.

May the frightened cease to be afraid And those bound be freed; May the powerless find power And may people think of benefiting each other.

For as long as space remains, For as long as sentient beings remain, Until then may I too remain To dispel the miseries of the world. COMPASSION PRACTICE (FOUR IMMEASURABLES)

NEXT SESSION: Mon Dec 07 SESSION 4: Exchanging Self with Others