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Compassion Practice (Four Immeasurables)

Compassion Practice (Four Immeasurables)

PRACTICE (FOUR IMMEASURABLES)

SESSION 5: Tong-len (giving & taking) COURSE STRUCTURE

Schedule 1. Mon Nov 23 – Loving- (& dealing with attachment) 2. Wed Nov 25 – Compassion (& dealing with ) 3. Wed Dec 02 – Empathetic & 4. Mon Dec 07 – Exchanging self with others 5. Wed Dec 09 – Tong-len (giving & taking)

Recommended reading • Four Immeasurables – Alan Wallace • Buddhism with an Attitude – Alan Wallace

Settling body, speech & mind SESSION 5: TONG-LEN (GIVING & TAKING)

1. Review 2. Tong-len (giving & taking) 3. Meditation – tong-len (self, friend) 4. Dispelling misconceptions 5. Applying tong-len 6. Integrating in daily life 7. Meditation – tong-len (stranger, roaming) 8. Q&A 9. Dedication 1. REVIEW

Two wings of practice Theravada 1. () – vipashyana 3 marks of existence 2. (method) – compassion 4 immeasurables

Importance of practicing both wings • wisdom without compassion (not grounded) • self-absorbed, disconnected • insensitive to others , unethical • compassion without wisdom (not in touch with ) • biased, unskilful actions • ‘compassion’ burnout, get taken advantage of 1. REVIEW

Compassion training • Four Immeasurables (foundation) 1. Loving-kindness Session 1 2. Compassion Session 2 3. Empathetic joy Session 3 4. Equanimity Session 3 • Exchanging self with others Session 4 (building on the foundation) • Tong-len (giving & taking) Session 5

• Dealing with attachment Session 1 • Dealing with anger Session 2

• Integrating into daily life Session 5 1. REVIEW

Four Immeasurables 1. Loving-kindness (maitri, metta) “May all living beings have & it’s causes.” 2. Compassion (karuna) “May they be free of suffering & it’s causes.” 3. Empathetic joy () “May they never be separated from the happiness that is free from suffering.” 4. Equanimity (upeksha) “May they abide in equanimity, free of attachment & aversion to those near & far.” Integrated approach (dealing with near enemies) loving-kindness compassion (attachment) (despair) equanimity empathetic joy (indifference) (meaningless rejoicing) 1. REVIEW

Dealing with anger/attachment (also applies to other mental afflictions) 1. clear understanding of anger/attachment • what it is and how it leads to suffering 2. cultivating view of genuine happiness (preliminaries) • underlying source of suffering/happiness lies within the mind 3. using mindfulness (shamatha) • simply observing anger/attachment as it arises • and hence free of it (no power from its own side to harm us) • anger/attachment will simply dissipate by itself (not need to fight with it) 4. applying antidotes – eg. , emptiness (vipashyana)

• importance of integrated approach (preliminaries, shamatha, vipashyana, compassion) 1. REVIEW

Bodhicitta (bodhi – enlightenment, citta – mind) • definition: aspiration for enlightenment for the benefit of others • basis is renunciation Two types of bodhicitta 1. aspiring (wishing to go) 2. engaging (actually going) – six perfections Two bodhicittas 1. Conventional – aspiration for enlightenment for the benefit of others 2. Ultimate – realization of emptiness sustained by conventional bodhicitta 1. REVIEW

Two main methods to cultivate bodhicitta 1. Seven cause and effect 2. Equalizing and exchanging self with others

Seven cause and effect 1. Seeing everyone as your mother (potential difficulties – rebirth, mother issues) 2. Remembering their kindness 3. Wishing to repay their kindness 4. Great loving-kindness 5. Great compassion 6. Altruistic intention 7. Bodhicitta 1. REVIEW

Equalizing and exchanging self with others • exchanging the self-cherishing attitude with the attitude of cherishing others • self-cherishing = selfish, self-centered attitude that sees my happiness as more important than the happiness of others • transforms attachment & aversion into loving-kindness & compassion Five step process 1. Equalizing self with others 2. Reflecting on disadvantages of self-cherishing 3. Reflecting on advantages of cherishing others 4. Exchanging self with others 5. Tong-len (giving & taking) 1. REVIEW

1. Equalizing self with others • we are all equal in wanting to be happy & wanting to be free from suffering

2. Disadvantages of self-cherishing • obsessed about my suffering –> , , stress, hypersensitivity, • obsessed about my happiness –> craving, , dissatisfaction • exaggerated sense of self-importance –> lack of consideration/respect for others –> , competitiveness, arrogance • harming others who stand in the way of our happiness –> , low self-esteem • biased attitude – attachment to friends, to strangers, aversion to difficult people –> difficult to cultivate loving-kindness & compassion 1. REVIEW

3. Advantages of cherishing others • not obsessed about my suffering –> lack of (fear, anxiety, stress, loneliness) • not obsessed about my happiness –> lack of (craving, frustration, dissatisfaction) • no exaggerated sense of self-importance –> consideration/respect for others –> helping others instead of jealousy, competitiveness, arrogance • not deliberately harming others in the pursuit of our happiness • unbiased attitude –> easier to cultivate loving-kindness & compassion for all “Whatever joy there is in the world All comes from desiring others to be happy. And whatever suffering there is in the world All comes from desiring myself to be happy.” Shantideva (8C) 1. REVIEW

4. Exchanging self with others (daily life) • based on the understanding the disadvantages of self-cherishing and the advantages of cherishing others • when self-cherishing arises exchanging it with the attitude of cherishing others • don’t allow any residual selfishness to stop you helping others

5. Tong-len (giving & taking) (meditation practice) • imagining taking on the suffering of others & giving them our happiness • very powerful method to transform self-cherishing • self-cherishing doesn’t want to take on the suffering of anybody • self-cherishing doesn’t want to give away happiness to anybody 2. TONG-LEN (GIVING & TAKING)

Method of practice • stages – self, friends, strangers, enemies, all living beings • conjoining with the breath – helps you to keep focused • taking suffering on the in-breath & giving happiness on the out-breath • two approaches to the visualization (or alternatively no visualization)

The two approaches 1. rock of self-cherishing – when black smoke of suffering touches rock of self- cherishing both are completely destroyed (ie. willingness to take on suffering destroys self-cherishing, danger of cognitive fusion) 2. light of inner purity – black smoke of suffering completely dissolves in the light of the inner purity of mind (ie. wisdom dissolves suffering) 3. MEDITATION

The meditation (tong-len – giving & taking) • imagine the inner purity of your mind in the form of a small, white radiant sphere of light at the centre of your chest at the level of your heart • imagine the person in front of you (friend, stranger, enemy etc) Taking (compassion) • “May you be free of all suffering & it’s causes. May you be free of all mental afflictions.” • imagine their mental afflictions & suffering in form of black smoke filling their body • on each in-breath imagine drawing the black smoke out of their body & bringing it into the sphere of light at your heart completely dissolving it there • then imagine they are now completely free of all mental afflictions & suffering 3. MEDITATION

Giving (loving-kindness) • “May you have happiness & it’s causes. May you be truly well & happy.” • on each out-breath imagine rays of light radiating out from your heart filling their body & mind transforming into everything they need to be happy (in the short & long term) • then imagine they have now found the genuine happiness that they seek

• finish the meditation by resting in the inner purity of your mind (in the nature of loving-kindness & compassion) 3. MEDITATION

Tong-len (self, friend) 4. DISPELLING MISCONCEPTIONS

Dispelling • Will I actually get the of others? • no since it’s a mental exercise • Well then what’s the point of the practice? • you are the main beneficiary of the practice (tong-len helps to reduce self- centeredness and increase loving-kindness & compassion) • How then does it help others? • indirectly – you are more likely to help others and in a more genuine way • directly – it can have a direct subtle positive effect on others mind 5. APPLYING TONG-LEN

How to apply tong-len in daily life (complete practice with one breath) • when seeing others suffering • take their suffering & give them happiness (not instead of helping them) • when suffering yourself • – “If a situation can be remedied why get upset. And if a situation cannot be remedied what’s the use in getting upset.” Shantideva (8C) • take that suffering from others & give them happiness • when meeting a difficult person • avoid cognitive fusion (person doing bad action vs bad person) • shifting perspectives (viewing the situation from 2nd/3rd person perspective) • take their mental afflictions & give them happiness 6. INTEGRATING INTO DAILY LIFE

“Every day, think as you wake up, I am going to benefit others as much as I can”.

Morning (daily meditation) • shamatha (breath, mind, awareness) • calming and focusing the mind • integrated approach (adding preliminaries, compassion & vipashyana) • if two sessions – shamatha first then analytical • if one session – some sessions just shamatha, some sessions analytical • topic of analytical (flexible – what is helpful) • laziness/too busy –> preliminaries (eg. precious human life & death) • low self esteem, anger, –> loving-kindness/compassion • jealousy/despair –> empathetic joy • grasping/attachment –> vipashyana (impermanence, emptiness) 6. INTEGRATING INTO DAILY LIFE

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Victor Frankl

During the day • seed with mindfulness • using triggers – tension, activities, breaks, App etc • short mindfulness exercise (eg. focus on breath for 3 breaths) • witnessing mode (open awareness) –> responding with loving-kindness & compassion instead of reacting with attachment/aversion • tong-len (someone else suffering, own suffering, difficult situations) • focus on positives • joy in our own & others positive actions & results • for the things we receive 6. INTEGRATING INTO DAILY LIFE

End of the day • second meditation (shavasana posture if fatigued) • analytical meditation (preliminaries, compassion, vipashyana) • going to bed (shavasana posture) • review the day • 1 negative action – , reliance, remedy, resolve • 1 positive action – rejoice, resolve • 1 thing received – gratitude • transitioning to sleep • out-breath – releasing tension & releasing thoughts • when drowsy mentally note meditation is now finished and physically move out of this posture 7. MEDITATION

Tong-len (stranger, roaming) 8. Q&A 9. DEDICATION SHANTIDEVA (BODHISATTVACHARYAVATARA)

May all beings everywhere May the naked find clothing Plagued by sufferings of body and mind, The hungry find food; Obtain an ocean of happiness and joy May the thirsty find water By of my merits. And delicious drinks.

May no living creature suffer, May the poor find wealth, Commit evil or ever fall ill. Those weak with find joy; May no one be afraid or belittled, May the forlorn find , With a mind weighed down by . Constant happiness and prosperity.

May the blind see forms May there be timely rains And the deaf hear sounds. And bountiful harvests; May those whose bodies are worn with toil May all medicines be effective Be restored on finding repose. And wholesome bear fruit. 9. DEDICATION SHANTIDEVA (BODHISATTVACHARYAVATARA)

May all who are sick and ill Quickly be freed from their ailments. Whatever diseases there are in the world, May they never occur again.

May the frightened cease to be afraid And those bound be freed; May the powerless find power And may people think of benefiting each other.

For as long as space remains, For as long as sentient beings remain, Until then may I too remain To dispel the miseries of the world.

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