Contact: - [email protected] www.lancsaeroclub.co.uk The Elevator The Fly by Wire Newsletter of the Lancashire Aero Club Editorial address: - [email protected] MARCH 2011 Philip Stevens has a nice aviation photo site; visit him at; http://www.targeta.co.uk/portfolio_intro.htm CHAIRMAN’S CHAT AND NEWS... Where do we go from here? Having just put out a questionnaire about the club that we all love and adore and what each of us wants for and from our club. For this is a double sided argument and like a politician some 50 years ago said “Ask not what you country (club) can do for you, ask what you can do for your country (club)”. Unfortunately he didn’t survive much longer than that speech and I want your club to last an awful lot longer than he did. We can make it into the club we want if we all pull in the same direction. Part of the unspoken contract between the committee and you, the members, is that we create the ambience and method but you do have to pick up the tools to do the job. One of these jobs is to man the strip when we are open and whilst it is NOT onerous it does require someone to be there even if its only to brew up. In fact it’s quite enjoyable meeting the pilots as they arrive and having a good natter over that brew. Now you may say that there isn’t much there but it will come and the plans will be developed especially when we can get that all too important permission. Then you will see a marked change in the way the Club looks. We have always said that we would go for planning permission when we got a couple of years of activity at Kenyon Hall Farm and that is what we are about to look at. There are several actions needed now before we can put in this application and it is surprising what you learn when you have to roll up your sleeves and get down to it. I am definitely into the learning mode and I do feel the challenge. There is also the fact that we have a very supportive landlord. There is also the social side of the club and we want to know what you want of this side of our activities. We have also made a cooperative deal with the North Western Strut of the light Aircraft Association for our members to attend their meeting. They hold regular monthly meetings of talks and other activities (flying days and BBQ’s etc) to which we will be welcome and to enhance the enjoyment of our sport. I shall be going to their meetings and you will be very welcome there as well, I hope to see you there. CLIFF MORT These are sentences exactly as typed by medical secretaries in National Health Service, Glasgow 1. The patient has no previous history of suicide. 2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital. 3. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. 4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared. 7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. 9. Discharge status:- Alive, but without my permission. 10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful. 11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 12. She is numb from her toes down. 13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. 14. The skin was moist and dry. 15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. 16. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. 18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce. 19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy. 20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. 21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. 22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. 23. Skin: somewhat pale, but present. 24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. 25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall. 26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. 27. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room. 28. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed. 29. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. 30. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. 31. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree. 32. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead. 33. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. For the sake of your health - stay away from hospital !! ************************************************************************************************* ***** Transforming Daydreams.... Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, and make it possible. T.E. Lawrence When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky. A good landing is one from which you can walk away. A great landing is one after which they can use the aircraft again. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another aircraft going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck. It takes around forty-five hours to learn how to fly and a lifetime to learn when to fly. Click on the links below to read about 6 short films from the British Pathe Archive about LAC!! http://www.britishpathe.com/record.php?id=80369 and the good old days of flying the BAC Lightning to recruit RAF pilots in the 1960s http://www.aircraftowner.com/videos/view/english-electric-lightening_1962.html ‘Quite Interesting’ by Pete Maher I was recently in my local library in Cheadle collecting a book for my wife. I have a fascination about anything to do with the Second World War, so my attention was immediately drawn to a small book waiting to go back on the shelves entitled – Stockport Under Fire. I went straight to a table and began to scan the Contents Page. The heading relating to Cheadle deserved further investigation. ‘German Aircrew Captured in Cheadle’ Apparently only one enemy bomber was ever brought down over the Manchester conurbation. The Anti- Aircraft Guns hit nothing, but a Boulton Paul Defiant flown by Flight Lieutenant E.C.Deansely accompanied by his gunner Sergeant W.J. Scott had taken off from Squires Gate and scored the only success. The Defiant was unique as a single engined fighter because immediately behind the pilot sat a gunner in a turret facing backwards. A few early successes were scored during the Battle of Britain, when unsuspecting German aircraft came up from behind to be met by a gun turret facing in their direction. But the Defiant soon proved to be too slow and had to be relegated to night fighter duties. Back to the action. A Heinkel 111 was the victim and the whole of the aircrew managed to bail out. The stricken aircraft came down behind Torkington Golf Course near Hazel Grove and I have subsequently discovered that an Aircraft Wreckology Group have excavated the site and pictures together with further information can be found on their website at www.peakdistrictaircrashes.co.uk All of the crew were captured over a wide area centred on Cheadle and one husband and wife came in for particular criticism for administering first aid to an injured airman. But now here comes the ‘Quite Interesting’ bit. After returning home from the library, I couldn’t wait to turn on my computer. This certainly merited a Google. Low and behold I was very quickly directed to the archive section of the Stockport Express Website. According to their story, the pilot had been a student at Manchester University before the War. Furthermore - He had taken lodgings on Boundary Road in Cheadle !!! Furthermore - He landed in the garden next door !!! Supposedly he knocked on the door of the house where he had stayed as a student, with his parachute still on his back. When his former landlady opened the door she couldn’t believe her eyes and simply said :- “What are you doing here ?” Further visits to the local history section of Cheadle library have produced a further article which follows my piece.