Incorporating blurb magazine
.‘HE MADE ME FEEL VERY. VERY DIRTY.’ n ATMS STITDF.NT Doctor reduces patient to tears B y C h r is H a m il t o n A UNIVERSITY doctor has been attacked following a string of DEDICATED FOLLOWERS OF FASHION complaints that he is “patronising, unsympathetic and incapable of working with students.” The allegations came to light as a female patient claimed that, when she attempted to obtain the 'morning after’ pin, Dr Ryan of Leeds University Health Service treated her request with contempt. He also warned that she would have to travel to London and pay £200 for private treatment if an abortion should become necessary. D r Ryan then reportedly told the same student that after taking the pill she would not be able to have sex for two weeks, and said: ‘T o o can’t have your cake and eat it, dear.” Dirty The student, who docs not wish to be named, recalled the incident. " I was in floods in tear; and left feeling very very dirty because of what he had said to me,” site said. “He went on about the risks of ectopic pregnancy and gave me gory details o f the hacmanhaging that would result before tailing me there was only a four to six per cent chance of that actually happening. "He was incredibly patronising and not at all helpful - 1 felt , like 1 was being interrogated rather than seeing a doctoc" The student feU that this was particularly disturbing because the doctor came from the university. "After all. doctors at a university should be different from others because o f the special needs of students* Another student has complained that when she tried to get a prescription from Dr Ryan for the 'morning after' pill he treated her in such a patronising manner she was left in tears. "He had just told me about not having sex,'* said the second year Geography student: “when he said: ‘Oodh, are those lean in your eyes? Most people seem able to oope with (he idea of STEPPING OUT: Leeds’ lovelies strutt their stuff for the LMU Fashion for All show at Beckett not having sex.’ Park last weekend. Dress to thrill: page 8 The student is considering launching a formal complaint Pic: Julien Fanqueur CONTINUED ON PAGE 3 INSIDE: News 1-11, Feature 12-13, Art* 14-15, Music 16-17, Travel 18, Books 17, Sport 21-24. Plus 12 page blurb puilout UNIVERSITY UBilARY UNIVERSITY OF LEEDS tKDS J^iw n_____^= ______■ m ■ ■ i p LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 36, W * Derby delegate dramaSlDom glHew alk of life AID S campaigners are asWng those who e'uoy By Fiona Coukson BY Smon ItXFCttv TWENTY-clghi delegates from LUU and a Sunday afternoon stroll to keep Ju Scott Maloney, Events Coordinator at LMUSU ate attending an extraordinary National the conference at Derby. Bridgeside, the charity organising the event Uiiion o f Students conference next week to A spokesman for LMUSU said: "Delegate* in F®r,i ! ! ^ K " n a year mm.u,*. U « b "e hopes that the event will be as good as last ditcuss education funding. will support free education but we may have to u k t a w t i n ' « , ife - ’ . " ’ S ' 5? year’s walk. The conference, at die Derby Assembly Rooms Have a reserve policy i f the first proves to be S p S M ftO walk which “ Last year 'W alk For Life’ in Leeds needed Hindi tor locally based B1V and A U » uii the 30tb May, is being held to discuss NUS's unrealistic. managed to raise an incredible £3000 for local response to the graduate tax proposal*. Extraordinary NUS conference* are rarety AID S and H IV charities. Over the last few weeks Bx<* officers at LUU n iS S k cn from Leeds will sel off at mlddjy called. TTtey have the same power* as me annual “ We are hoping for even greater success and LMUSU have otictsed the MUS for failing to conferences but delegates are only allowed to this year, so everyone is encouraged to join in fully consult its members over policy. same lime as thousands o f olhert to 17 ciU g dhigttflR otte sUhlCCt. . ____ with the Fun, Bllie Clement. L.UU Administration Secretary, However, the NUS National Executive " c™ W »!tF o T u f? aims lo be a fail daj; out for “ Anyone can come along for a good day out said: “It is LUU policy to support free education. Commitee are keen to point out that delegate wui all who wish lo attend, with entertainments and do their bit for a good cause,” he said. Students voted for this at an OGM eatlier in the (tisousi; all education funding- not just higher organised in the park Including jugglers and a Anyone who Is interested in taking part or month and our delegates have to follow it. education funding and the graduate tax. who would like lo sponsor a walker should Delegates from Leeds recently pledged their NUS policy will not be decided until the ■ " m SXL*. will he provided for the contact CRUSA1D on Freephone 0800 37 44 37 support For free education at a HuddensfteW conference votes but senior NUS oTi5ccre, walkers and people are encouraged to bring for a registration pack i University conference a fortnight ago; including President Jim Murphy, have already I p i c n i c s . ______LMUSU decided at Tuesday's Student openly declared their support for a graduate tax. Representative Council to send 10 delegates to
S t u d e n T l*td t Student lit independent m»Vtvi*ajwr; Miving students at Leeds University. Leeds fvlctnipoliinri Caterers carry on Untverntv and other cofleges in anil around Lends. AH our M im p p abide by a code ofcon*M3.but u you hayc Mj STEP UP FOR CHARITY problem ». plea** cuhbci ibe Isditnr- tsrxb SlitdrtU i,wd;i UMNtnar wan cooking i|*!> (Sot IS? MJETiS BY GHftUQna Lumas m u a t SUTCLIFFE Catering will continue to provide Editor ‘Rm.&’illagllci- food services at Leeds University after a top level meeting decided to retain the firm as the Deputy Editor MatiRopo university’s caterers. ... Despite heavy criticism of Sutcliffe based on the Arts Edllon value and price of food available, the meeting of the Matthew Goodman Residential and Commercial Services decided not to look for Hannah Jones a lte r n a tiv e m eth od s o f p ro v id in g c a te r in g services HeiiwwKose | Robin Johns, General Blurb Editor Secretary at LUU*■ said H hei DECISION at kuogeojttdgwy accepted' the decision but was not entirely satisfied: “ Basically It’s MEETING: Books Editors the best o f a bad choice. JaniDarby “ The university and Sutcliffe SUTCLIFFE JrtjiathaaGiN* have recognised there is a problem and hare taken steps to ensure better service and better WTI.L STAY quality. However, she said that she was Features Editurs “ It's hoped that a change in reasonably happy with the Julie Soagg management culture will improve agreement lo keep the company at KatelOan the services available to the university. “ I suppose It’* students,” be said. better the devil you know,” she Pood&Driiik Editor The move comes fa a week RobCanway commented. when catering staff have once Students, however, were less again received redundancy Musk Editors charitable to an organisation Nick Moffat notices* which has been blamed fo r poor AkinOjiimu food quality and extortionate Steven Ranger Insecure rises in price since Sutcliffe took over the contract. News Editors The decision to retain Sutcliffe Paul Circe rough met with a mixed response from talk AEROBATHON: Fit finalists exercise tor David Smith the members of the catering staff “ So behind all the jargon ENTERPRISING finalists are raising money for rehabilitation schcme. Nicoia Woolcock Oreaniser Sampson said: “Eveiything went really whose jobs remain insecure. nothing has actually been done,” charity this week through a three hour aerobathon. Chief Reporters A member o f staff who wishes said one second year Physics welL 1 think the sun brought a lot of people, and tUchard Clarice writesCatrionaDavies. v , to remain anonymous said: “ Some student who does not wish to be Victoria Stimpson and Jane Oldfield, third year BEd hopefully they all enjoyed themselves. The money CUheIoUc Lomas raised will help young people, especially after cat people have been given notice that named. students at LMU organised the event as part of their they will be laid o ff soon. “ 1 thought the union was course. Around 40 energetic aerobtas turned up to Chief Review sub “ lifaink the happy hour at the bar aftawaids willbe “ We don’ t know how these supposed to be really against endure one hour of step, followed by two houts of Matthew Goodman especially popular, so we should collect more money people have been selected or bow Sutcliffe. What’ s happened to all aerobics on Wednesday afternoon. They are expecting Science Editor many are actually involved in the their talk now? Basically, we're to raise £400 towards physio equipmau for a brain there.*' ^ r^ 1 Steve Hill decision. being shafted.” Sports Editor m m m m JonBrodkm Leeds green week Question of sport SPORT and leisure will be easier GREENIES should be impressed with Wharf and a Leeds Steam Spectacular THE election of a new President than ever next year when a £30 “ a S i Duffy- * £ the impressive programme o f events at Temple NeWsham Park which are to the project, also claimed thfltaUw at Bteoon Hall Students Union million development
s f f l Bitter pill to swallow C zS w J js immense. However, the TH ERE are some people in society The National Health Service, as Pam b o b s out who we trust. The medical profession, climate in which was, is now a laughing stock. Doctors doctors are now with its Hippocratic oath, fa a good and nurses are under-paid and over Richard Branson launched example. We assume that when we go forced to work must his new Energy be taken into S t u d e n T worked* to doctors with a problem, they will Secretary o f Slate for Health aphrodisiac drink lit account lend a listening ear and oiler solace Virginia Bottomlev has done much to London this week, and According to ■ and comfort to our troubles. build an atmosphere o f tension in the judging by the press shots, official figures, It is therefore disappointing to see medical world. Is It surprising that one sip and Pamela morale in the that, this week, a student has those in the caring profession feel let Anderson can be yours (if medical profession I OPINION complained tbata Doctor at Leeds down when, year after year, they are you've got £50,000 to pay University's health service bad kt at an all-time L — — the recent move by nurses to break awarded risible pay increases while, her that is.) reduced her to tears. Surety this low. Junior doctors are forced to quit their vocation because they are over* their traditioha! ban on industrial at the same time, are made to work behaviour Is not that o f the caring, killer hours? He shoots and ttarei— approachable member o f the medical worked to the point of collapse. Action. Seen as part o f a bigger picture, Respect is a two-way thing. I f we profession? Surely this is not the way Only last week, a court heard the Doctor Ryan's actions are more are to expect Doctors and nurses to One person who doesn’ t to treat patients who expect sympathy case o f a doctor who administered the understandable. Although a course of treat us with civility and trust, then we need love-aids is 21-year- and understanding. wrong medication because she was action which reduces the patient to a must ensure that they get something old Robert Levans, The answer to them questions exhausted after working a nun-stop state o f shock canot be vindicated, the oat o f the bargain too - that they feel Randy Rob claims to remains unclear at the moment, as forty-buur shift. have bedded scores of girls pressure of being a Doctor today is trusted and respected. the Doctor concerned is on leave. Indicative o f this dissatisfaction is thanks to his striking resemblance to heartlhrob Rvan Giggs. He came nnstuck when one starry-eyed young lady glanced up at her poster of ■ the Welsh wizard during the throes or passion and realised Robert wasn’ t the I real thing. “ I got kicked pretty hard and got out quick, Rag mags faked the look-a-Uke Romeo said. By Qutum E L/>uas ... an own aori
LEEDS Rag hit out this week at the sale of fake Rag I Another case of soccer- magazines around Leeds. Conmen selling The Gag Mag% a based mistaken identity lookalike version of the well known R ag Mag, claim that ■ rcu rre d In Wales when I West Ham talent scout profits from the sales will go directly to help students but mistook two girls for boys then pocket the money themselves. and offered them trials. To Rag Coordinator Shaun Hennessy add insult io grave described the stile o f the ffiagazincs as embarrassment* one uf the NATIONWIDE | girl’s fathers said: “ She "disgusting and outrageous." wasn't bothered. She "People drink they're buying magazines supports Arsenal anyway.’ and that the money will go straight to CHARITY CON charity,’’ be said. "ButitVgoing straight into the pockets of the sellers. They say the Pull the other b w money is for students or will go to charity CRITICISED BY M ore gremlins infiltrated and even when closdy questioned they'll the mechanisms of the claim they’ re affiliated to the National Union LOCAL CHIEFS sporting world this week o f Students.** produced the magazines has sinced dosed when organisers o f a tug- Sale down and a second company has now begun of-war competition between eight Australian The sale Of the fake Rag magazines is a selling magazines, exploiting Council loopholes to obtain permits to sell on the pub teams forgot to bring recurring problem and has been experienced a rape. by universities all over the country. Al streets. Exec members at both LUU and LMUSU Clayton o f Manchester Union Student Beer fear in th Charity Append described the problem. expressed their disgust at the magazines. Camille Bendey. VP Education & ‘'Basically they produce a magazine that O r perhaps they were just looks like a Rag Mag because they know the Campaigns at LMUSU. said: “ U’s hard enough for Rag sellers to get money pansies too scared to take public think the money will go to charity. part. F or a survey of Usually they claim the money will go to the legitimately for their cause. Something has to be done at a high level if this is a. tuuioual Australians shows that unemployed and since they class themselves beer b only their ninth problem. as unemployed they lake the money. favourite bewie. “My opinion is that they're deliberately Vulnerable According to Schweppes, deceiving the public. Students should be on lo u r Antipodean cousins tite look ourfbr these magazines and report it “This is another example o f students are more likely to he seen to the police or the local Trading Standards being targeted, we're like the vulnerable in supping wimpy drinks like office if they think they’ve been misled by the society and yet again we're being used.” milk and water. sellers." Elite Clement. Administration Secretary Although arrests have been made in at LUU. said: “It's disgraceful that people are Babv boozers connection will sellers masquerading as trying to defraud the general public in this members o f the NUS or a particular way by making tham think that charities will But British schoolkids are university, no one has been successfully benefit In the event, these magazines are no much harder. According to prosecuted. The original company which CONCERNED: Shaun Hennessy, Leeds Rag Coordinator Pte: Colin Dale better than toilet paper.” a teachers’ survey, nearly 70 per cent o f secondary schools and 10 per cent of TEAM TOLD TO STAY HOME primary schools have a UNION TOASTS NEW BAR drink problem with pupils as young as eleven arriving James Hewson, was not disqualified last year FO R the second year A B AR al a new student residence fo r lessons “ pie-eyed” running Leeds have too down hearted at the after it disintegrated could secure more services and from boozing. news. “ It doesn’ t reflect before the summer failed to send a team to facilities for students in their union. CONTRACT the status o f the holidays. the University Challenge writes David Smith. university in the Hewson, who took No more hoi dr finals, writes Paul Leaders at LM U SU look set to "A U students will gain i f the Greenough. academic community that over the captaincy this union has more disposable income,” year, hopes to be able to win the catering contract fo r the bar Finally, the longest word in Despite valiant efforts we weren’ t chosen.” at Klrkstall flats when it opens next said Andrew Snowball, President o f the German language- He added that he was keep the side intact in from the team sent by September. LiMUSU. “The union will therefore I)onaudampf»chiffahrtsfe not sure how the case T V producers at Leeds University, they The deal will mean increased be able to provide for its members in sellschaft- faces extinction. successful teams were Granada call them up to did not quite manage to revenue for the union which can other areas. It means Captain of the chosen but he felt that appear on the show. make the top 32 who will then be ploughed into services such **A better commercial union Danube Steam Company* certain universities were H e was worried about appear in front o f Jeremy as welfare and representation. means better services - that’s why which has gone bust. discriminated against. “ I how the Leeds following Paxman on TV. Kirkstail fiats, which will house it’s good.” am sure that they seem to would Teel now that the However, out o f the 200 LM U students, is on its planned Students gave a welcome response 200 teams which entered, favour O xford and city did not have a team to the news. It’s brilliant,” said first to represent them: schedule to be built by September. the Leeds squad has Cambridge." The bar contract will signal an year Alan Hopkins, "every hall o f Complied by This is the second year “ Leeds students will feel gained a place as a increasingly positive relationship residence needs a bar or some running that Leeds left out as the competition Richard Clarke reserve and could still be between the university and the recreational facility. It’s really good University have been begins. It’s a pity.” seen on our screens if students union, which stands to the money taken will go to the union, among the reserves. L M U did not enter a rival teams to drop out. benefit generally from the profits. and not to some brewery.” Leeds’ team captain. However, the team was team. N ew s LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 2i ARMED POLICE PUT ON ALERT AT FILM SHOOT Young gun’s "Deai eemett.
YOU w w nw, cyber-spacemen. Internet-pounding computer bods, with pale skin and a slightly befuddled look: incapable of communication except viayour keyboard. You worry me. because you are out to destroy life as weknow it Computers -1 hate them. It s not that 1 am behind the times. 1 don’t wander round with a typewriter under my arm, spewing Tlpp-Ex as I go. Like everyone else, 1 use computers and I am as proficient as the next person. But I can’t choose whether or not I use police drama today's technology, I am forced to. Because of,the fascistic nature of the cyber- spacemen. we can no longer function without a good working knowledge of Word Perfect and an ability to discuss the merits of Windows 6.1. POLICE were twice called into But with all your cyber-space babble, you computer junkies are never any action last week as a film actual use to the world. Ask a computer lad a question, and while he (and they're always he) will be able to twitter on about hard drives and bytes, he win never be maker’s antics convinced them any practical help. Your calculator or Walkman may remain broken while the the streets of Leeds 6 were cyber-spaceman will explain that it’s a different system to die one he's used to. being terrorised by armed We carry on asking the cyber-spacemen practical questions though, because we re m need of their help becanse the machines they claim as their gurus are g unm en. constantly failing us mere mortals. The writer and Think about the number of times you’ve been driven to the brink of muring | By Chris Hamilton’ | director o f short film because your computer has crashed. For every three perfecdy-typedessay you’ ve The Suitcase, Chris g ot slighly wounded or handed in, they’ll have been at least one heart-rending moment when the word Cottam, a third year at something.” processor crashes, losing your entire 10.000 word dissertation, which was due in Leeds University, had “ There were obvious the following morning. And of course.you haven't made back-ups. No-one ever makes back-ups. Except cyber-spacemen. reached a critical stage potentially dangerous in filming when police consequences because And note the small print on your exam regulations - computer failure will not got involved the first o f tiiis* said a be accepted as an excuse for late entries. Hundreds of finalists all over Leeds are time. spokeswoman for West now discovering this to their cosl The other day. I came across a friend of mine, white faced and shaking because he'd foigotten his password on the University “There’s a scene Yorkshire Police, computer system. His essay was in the next day and he was stuffed. The trauma where a comershop gets “ anyone doing filming that he went through on this one; the years he has lost on his life cannot be worth robbed. The actor of this nature' should let the the occasional shortcuts gained by using a PC. playing the robber was us know just as a matter running down the road o f courtesy." And it happens to everyone. Ybu don’ t even listen anymore when someone tells you their talc of computer woe. Boring. Heard it all before. after the getaway car, But police interest in But.though they are raining our lives, everything has to be computerised and I was filming from The Suitcase did not these days. Even when it's not necessary. In the good old days, advances in about a hundred yards end (here. technology were used to better the human condition. Now it seems that we behind him. computerise just for the sake of computerising. Those sad and lonely enough to “Anyone looking oh Plan Watch the Anenal/Sampdoria match the other week, (NAYIM1) wiH have seen a would have seen him .in classic case o f pointless computerisation. The number placards that managers a balaclava waving a hold up when they want to makea substitution are now digital. Marvellous hmit'? gun and chasing a car.” “Later on we were filming the robbery And what a difference that will make to the modem game. 1 don't think. As Cottam later Like kids with anew toy, we're determined to use this new technology no found out someone who planning scene in a room we use on maner what - even where computers are unnecessary or inappropriate. For did see the 'getaway' example, the litxle canaries that, by law. every mine must own, are soon to be wasted no time in campus." said Cottam. “ and it involved a plan replaced by computers. For centuries, miners have used these cute litde birdies as dialling 999 and a fail-safe method of detecting gas teaks. I f there is any gas around, our fluffy warning police that a o f the robbery being drawn on a blackboard. Wends get distressed, alerting the miner to danger. A perfect safety gadget - gunman was loose in costing around £1.90 a throw. Leeds 6. "Someone found this after we‘ d finished and But the cyber-spacemen couldn't possibly leave something as wonderfully Furious phoned the police simple and intricate as a canary alone. At an enormous cost, they are introducing thinking we were sensory computers to replace the birds. It’s a ridiculous concept. Eveyone who's planning an actual ever used a computer, or a fax machine or anything of that nature, knows that if However, Cottam robbery. there’s one thing in life surer than death or taxes, it's that computers always fail. was soon to find out that "They came down to And when this failure puts human lives at risk, the cyber-spaceman mentality several people wanted to becomes very dangerous. take a look at it but a speak to him. “ Later that So go back to your computer mags, your mega-bytes and your screen savers, technician who let them evening 1 was told that a cyber-spacemen. Go back to your solidarity dark litde rooms and let the real in pointed out it was just furious inspector wanted people get on with living our lives. a student production." a word with me and 1 was basically ordered down to the station for a IT'S GOOD TO TALK? bollocking. “I was told that three DEGREES OF FOOTBALL fan Martin phone off the book for nine armed response units Holleran was sick as a parrot hours. had been put on alert when his phone bill caught "I thought I put die phone and that U could have alt JOLLY BREWER him off his line • he had down properly. When 1 found ended really horribly. MADNESS made a single call o f £180. it o ff the hook, T didn't know “The inspector called Martin. 21. a trainee it was from the night before.” me a wally, which 1 FANCY doing a degree in one o f your Hyde Park Road teacher from Trinity and All he said. accepted. favourite passtimes? Knitting, shopping Saints College, Horsforth. Fortunately for Martin. "I can understand the and watching the television are amongst had made a call 10 his club's BT should reduce the bill to a concern, although it a new breed of degree course being TUESDAYS: information line but left the more affordale figure. would have made great offered to British students, writes Pemie footage i f the actor had Cabot, Despite the apparendy non-academic Quiz night - £100 snowball prize challenge of studying body-piercing. model-making and perfumery, several Notta Lotto people know that universities across the country are THURSDAYS: introducing such modules in order to The chips were up for LM U 's Catering Meanwhile winners of the National Lottery provide students with more vocational Supervisor Denise Linley when she scooped living in Yorkshire and Humberside have failed training. Many students no longer enjoy Live Irish music nearly £2,000 on the National Lottery, write to claim more than £1.7 million word) o f the traditional subjects, so academics Kari Wilkin, Joanne Bestall and Juliet Reed. winnings according to the lottery organisers are being asked to cater for a new SATURDAYS: Denise placed her usual £5 bet with her Camel ot student strata. regular weekly choice of numbers • but she did But only TK0 days remain after each draw Designed to help students get jobs, not know about her windfall until three days before the money is given to the lottery’s the courses have won the support of Happy Hour 7-8pm - All drinks later. charities-and the deadline For the first draw has trade bodies but have failed to win the approval o f the academic establishment. The shock came when she read the winning already passed. £ 1 . 0 0 numbers in the local newspaper. Denise was The lottery’s regional manager. Jo One Leeds lecturer, who prefers to surprised but unaware o f her £1.706 fortune Sugarman. offered this advice: “ We would urge remain anonymous, said: until colleagues persuaded her to cash in her people to check their old tickets and if they are "This sort of modernist clap-trap winnings. m any doubt they should contact their local should not be tolerated. Universities are EXCELLENT REAL ALES MI was so shocked I nearly tell through the retailer or regional office.’’ supposed to provide an academic basis floor. I'm not normally a lucky person, A total o f £18 million remains unclaimed for careers .They are not doss houses." AND GUEST BEERS winning £10 is my limit.’* nationally. Thames Valley University are The Catering Supervisor said she’ ll be Those wanting to check their tickets should offering a module in kites, and Lancaster celebrating with a slap up meal and later contact the local Tottery retailer or the regional University plans to incorporate every treating her family to a holiday in America. office on <>•1924^23031. day conversation into its culture and Why not give us a try? communications course. f trprvQ STUDENT FnUny M*y 2 6 .199S N ew s e N E W S BRIEF Three Rs lesson for future THE three Rs need to be re-taught alarm after finding many teenagers Missing in action to many o f today's Rtudeots after a with good exam results who are continued fall in school standards, unable to Spell properly or perform a new reports claims, writes David simple arithmetic. I the Graduates are said to be badly 'Sritftli* Undergraduates are poor prepared for work and tacking Student Representotive Countil communicators and (teed urgent competent literacy or numeracy. training to cope with jobs in the **EmplOyets told us cote skills Meeting, LMUS Tuesday May 23, modem world, business leaders such As communication, numeracy, HACK say. . \ .. ... _ information technology and A weekly sketch of student politics A number of universities nave presentational skill* Were the keys debate on higher education funding It was. even been farced to set up special to a skilled, adaptable workforce," l MATTERS ARISING: if for some unfathomable reason they never said Peter Davis, chairman of the really Uked the guy. after all, Camille's big moment She had taken courses in the three Rs in order to it upon herself to survey general student help new students. National Advisory Council for 20 March 1995. (Another possible disappearance is that of Education and Training Targets V P Beckett Park, rumoured at the sum o f the opinion - there were even some nicely Businesses have raised the laminated questionnaires to prove it - and all fi>3(i> Apologies year to be someone called Clare Rutt but now long forgotten despite nil the sterling work thin she was jinking now was for SRC to agree to P. Harris: Has P. Davis found out about P- vote along with the results at the next national It’s a knockout for Walton Swords. goes on tn (hat quarter.) None of these vanishing acts have yet been conference. Who ever could refuse that sweet Robin Johns and Mark Walton R Davis: He is with Ronny Biggs! Innocent Camille smile? IN the battle of the brains, red A. Snowball: Have you ‘phoned him? signalled by die proper "E xit stage left;" in P. brick universities still have the of LUU Exec thrashed LMIJSU Harris’s meticulous minutes, and one can only Sad to relate, a great many people did.** We leaders Paul Harris and Andrew R. Davis: Yes. should hear the debate at conference and then edge over runner polytechnics, at A. SndwbaU: He hasnotgota 'pbone? wonder at their cause. Perhaps the miscreants least according to the results of a Snowball in a not-MMwrioos quiz have taken exception to the land of debates decider came the objection, “Do students broadcast on Leeds Student Radio really understand all the issues?” poor dash of the Exec titans. Such are the dramas o f life at LMUSU. as that go on at SRC, which this week played host this week. Camille, her heart breaking in what should faithfully recorded in the minutes of every to an hour-plus slog over whether die new Rounds o f the mighty battle Exec member should be called Black Officer. have been her moment of glory, threatened to Included pop trivia, a song contest single meeting. burst out crying but wisely dosed her eyes These are subsequently analysed in the Black and Ethnic Minorities Officer or any and ‘ Know your union instead when it came to a vore. “Nine votes for, following meeting, so dial any misheard such other semantic variant. An epic SocniQc constitution' - an absorbing dual dialogue, sweeping across culture and history eight against Camille wins!” came the which resulted in overwhelming chunks o f dialogue or misplaced exclamation declaration, a triumph for the idea of marks can stand corrected. Naturally enough, with operatic scope, was focusing on the fine victory for Walton, LU lI’s self* distinction between race-racism and religious referendum and allowing the people to decide prodialnted ‘Captain when it came to this week’s meeting o f SRC. rather than their governors. the above segment of literary excellence raised racism until P. Harris intervened: “ A few LOSER: Andrew Snowball Constitution.’ It only remained for governor P. Hams to more than tne odd eyebrow and questioning logistical points from the bye-Iaws.-” One could imagine Martin Luther King being put his foot, hi it not for the first time. “That hand. means we'll be voting for free education,*’ he "Do you want tne to explain?" asked the called bock on the grounds that In order to Curry favour to chilli-out "have a dream" you need to establish a dream said, earning an outraged bawl from Snowy: etemally-helpful P. Davis. As you will be ••How on earth can you know the results of a A COMMON cuny is now the alcohol. Researchers argue that aware the mature students secretary is team committee and a minute-taker ensuring hottest tip for cooling the ravages this benefit should a h » apply to that no minor episodes in the middle o f the survey before it's been done?* missing.” P. Harris, looking sheepish after his latest o f alcohol, doctors claimed this humans. Pam Swords has, in fact, been missing all night escape the offitia] records. gaffe, dug himself deeper ’I'd like to call an weak, writes Pavid Smith. “ If you eat chillies it will make year, rapidly becoming an enigma to rank Father Snowball had been sitting at the end to this meeting at 7.1Spm - so I can leave Ulcer* and cell damage can be the storhach more resistant: to ’alongside Lord Lucan. In winch case the union back looking on wisely, resigned as always to for personal reasons.'* The suggestion was prevented simply by eating alcohol/' said professor Roy Shergar has to be Steve Sanger-Davies, die fact that the suggestion be made half-an- laughedlaugj out o f courtcourt. peihaps because; how chillies, according to Gut, a Pounder of the Royal Free Hospital former general manager, who is also quite hoUr ago would eventually be agreed upon medical journal which published in London. vanished, and in circumstance? which when SRC got rouud to it in its own time. Then ever many rats desert the sinking slap, no one their right mind would give up a single the findings of the National Tbs drinkers on the street lead some to scnuch their heads in Camille Bentley. VP Education & Campaigns, minute’s opportunity to sit and watch die University off Singapore. seemed impressed. Stressed puzzlement, others to speak in leaned back for to hear his sage advice - amusing spectacle o f P. ‘Bomber’ Harris at Experiments .06 rat* finalist Janet Sharman said: ‘'I hushed tones as if o f the dead, imparted as ever with almost biblical wisdom - demonstrated that chillies halve the always knew curries were g o c for and the rest to laugh out loud as concerning how she should tackle die latest work. damaging side effects caused, by y o u -o o * - =** '
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TfeM632 449212 For further information please contact Rebecca Cato on: Mon-Fri 930am-5.30pm (0113)236 3883 Sat 10a m-3.45pm Pudsey Personnel is an Equal Opportunities Employer. NEW YORK, LOS ANGtltS. TOKYO. BANGKOK, SYDNEY, AUCKLANp... STA TRAVEL BOOTH'S YARD, LOWTOWN, PUDSEY. LEEDS LS28 7AD News 7 COMPLAINT OF ‘RECKLESS AND TINPROFESSIONAL’ CONDI ICT Alternative perspective
FRESHERS can expect a helping hand next year when the students union at Trinity Driver ‘risked and AU Saints college publishes its first 'alternative prospectus’ fo r st decade, writes Sami Keighley. An earlier attempt was aborted after an argument over prices at the printers which nearly resulted in a court case. The handbook Is only in women’s safety’ Us preliminary stages until prices and features have been arranged. James Roland, o f By David Smith T ASC students union said “ I A WOMEN'S minibus driver has been accused hope it will be a success and will provide considerable of “reckless" and “unprofessionaP’ driving by help to new first years." ALL BETHS ARE OFF an angry passenger who is demanding disciplinary action. T ile complaint ft>U6ws an incident last w eek when the driver is snid to liave repeatedly broken the speed limit and Learn late driven 'irresponsibly despite Wet conditions. YO U can teach an old dog He is alleged to have, shown new tricks was the message "little regard for the law " and PASSENGERS o f last week, writes Sami ’‘endangered both students and Keighley, public. SUPPORT Adult Learners Week was But the driver; who does not a national initiative designed wished to be turned, denies the to encourage adults to charges and has been bacloed by DRIVER’S continue learning, either to passengers who have since come improve their career forward as witnesses. DEFENCE prospects, to Increase their "1 would Bke to make it clear knowledge, or simply to that ihese allegations are entirely But Rebecca Stott. a make the most o f an false and aie based on one person's postgraduate who caught the bus. enjoyable hobby. judgement only." the Haver defended the driver. I ’ ve always During the week there explained in a letter to bosses at found him extremely considerate were events taking place at LUU. u> which the bus belonged. and atteniutive ” she said. local colleges and training The complainant, first year Chiefs at LUU have discussed establishments and an student John Goodfellow, was able the issue and decided io put the information bus touring to use flic bus because he is a driver on six-month probation. Leeds. member of union staff. He argues Debbie Jones. Women's Officer, Dudley Nesbit led the that after leaving the union steps at said: “ I find it very ironic dial the Leeds College of Music’s around midnight the driver waited only complaint this year about die steel band at the initial time, gave favourable treatment to u women’s minibus has been made by launch o f the week in Hyde friend and, put the safety o f ablolce." Park.
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FRIEL GOOD FACTOR: Beth won't be studying In Leeds after all STUDENTS salivating at ihe prospect o f Bmokside's | storyline was leaving the way open for Friel to leave! Anna B id, Beth Jordache from the top-rated soap, the series - and possibly take up some academic study. Are you going on a placement to Europe soon? coining to study in Leeds were sadly disappointed this But exhaustive investigations by Leeds Student rtnfrom ; rtofram week, writes Chris Hamilton have revealed that, for the present at least, there are no Rumours had swept university campuses as an Lsr plans for the heart-throb to leave the show and enter Naples £120 Copenhagen £110 broadcast announced the Merseyside star's arrival in higher-education. New York £156 Perth £552 Leeds this October to study Psychology. Sad fan Jim Harvey, a third year geography student Paris £59 Bangkok £357 Bmoksuk has recently featured the jailing of Beth, at LMU. said he was “gutted” at the news: "1 think Mexico £228 Madrid £118 along with screen mother Mandy. for the murder of Anna's lovely. Tm sure Leeds would have made her vicious father TVevoT Jordache. Outsiders believed the Vciy welcome had she come here." Brussels £72 Auckland £713 Hong Kong £449 Nairobi £399 LON-BANGKOK-HONG KONG-BALI-DARWIN-surface-CHRISTCHURCH- Chancellor’s Court to get revamp surface-AUCKLAND-TAHm-LOS ANGELES-surfaceNEW YORK-LON £699 I PICK UP YOUR FREE TRAVEL GOQDYBAG FROM STA TRAVEL TODAY | T H E Chancellor’s Court at Lorna Green who will be Leeds University is about to attempting to create a theme 88 Vicar Lane, get a new look in an attempt entitled “ Meet, sit and talk.” to attract more people to the Lorna will be helped by u area, writes Sami Keighley. students from the Tel: 0532 449212 The Court, sited between university's School of Fine the Roger Stevens Building, A rt; the old Science block and the The face-lift w ill hopefully Mon-Fri 9J0am-5,30pm M edical Building, is set to be be completed for the start of Sat 10am-3.45pm S £ / i redesigned with sculptures the next year. brought in to brighten up the Students gave the news a concrete centre. lukewarm reception. “ I ’ d New ro n , los angcus, tqkyo, Bangkok, sydncy, aucklano,... $ T A TRAVEL Large boulders of local rather they built a swimming The Chancellor's Court, 1995 stone will be brought in and pool,** said disgruntled vintage - • P ic: Julia arranged, b y . loca l .sculptor. -finalist James Cardew. A LEEDS STUDENT Rrfctay Mty 26,199* N ew s THE DAY THE MUSIC DIED
EDEN’S experience o f a lifetime turned into hell last But at the T & C the band were forced to go imo their week when a technical failure ruined the student band’s three songs without taking a sound-check - leading to hopes o f glory at the Town and Country Club, write disastrous consequences. “There was not enough importance given to the Joanuo Bould and Vh'ky Melen. TTie group, taking part in the final o f the ‘ Bright sound-check." complained Eden member Smart. "The Young Things' competition for under 19».. Were organisers didn't take into account the fact that each dismayed to find their performance spoiled by poor band, especially outs, has a different sound.** He added: ''I think 1 would have preferred £ 1.000 and sound equipment. The blow came just days after Eden,; comprising a couple o f days in a recording studio o f the chance to students from LMU. had made a successful appearance olay live on national television hi front o f seven and a hair million people." SONG FOR EDEN: Performing Iasi week on T V ’s Blue P ettr programme. Residents’ security under threat - again FEARS about security at student accommodation have been raised again this week after a spate of burglaries at HELP: Volunteers prepare for Bosnia Montague Burton flats. There have been at least four break-ins at the Leeds University residence in the last two weeks, although AID TEAM READY TO GO not all o f these have been reported to the police, as A TEAM of students from Leeds Ror the last three yean, Tnzla has students feel they are treated unsympathetically. University will soon be going on been shelled almost daily and Fiona Cookson, first year Bv G cwona Davies an IH-month trip to the former supplies have cut off leaving the resident of the flats had a Yugoslavia, taking vital supplies population in dire need of purse containing £45 pounds incident because I knew the to the people o f Bosnia, writes outside help. police would tell me ii was my The group will also be taking stolen from her room last Sami Keighley, own fault, but you don't expect academic equipment with them, Saturday afternoon. She The group will be setting off something, to happen white including paper, pens and said: “1 had only popped from Dover on July 26 and will people are in.” pencils as well as text books for be carrying food, clothing and over to the next flat for 20 In another incident Ann medical supplies for the victims die university in Itala. minutes, my flat mates were Whelan o f E block bad her For more information on how o f the war in war-torn Tuzla. in the kitchen at the time, purse stolen while she was Pot those living in the city, to get involved tel: 0171 582 but nobody saw anything. a,sleep at night. ‘It's a pretty 5462 or Oil 3262 2705. the convoy could be a life saver. “ 1 didn't bother reporting the frightening thought. 1 can't imagine someone being there in my room." The intruder took tWo purses and two keys, which i cost £50 to replace. SU R F S UP Custody Gail Potter, Director o f Residential and Commercial Services, said that someone believed to be responsible is being held in police custody, BANK HOLIDAY and another was under investigation. He added; “ Montague BEACH Burton Flats are one o f the university's most secure complexes, but we are obviously dealing with PARTY professional criminals here." However, student residents disagreed with this saying that anyone could get into the MONDAY 29th MAY complex, by simply waiting for someone to use a dour. As there are no door bells at the front, legitimate: visitors, ATTRACTIONS INCLUDE have to rely on being admitted in this manner,, and hence it is impossible to distinguish *SURF MACHINE between someone's friend and an intruder. THREATENED: A Montague Burton resident Pic: Julfen Fanquaur *STEEL BAND SHOW-TIME ALL THE FASHION
LIVE JAZZ AN ANNUAL marquee fashion show at By CAnuoHADavies Beckett Park achieved a rare first - it was organised entirely by students. The show was being held on The Acre at Eight finalists from LMil's Consumer Beckett Park this week and ends today. Last Services Management department have been night there was a V IP performance with guests GET WIPED OUT AT working on the organisation o f the event since from the university, and sponsoring last November. companies. . They have gained sponsorship front names Another organiser, Claire Kerkhan, reels such as Marks and Spencer, and the Body proud of the achievement: “I don’t^ unnk Shop, and are displaying work by students anyone can imagine how much work we ve put from the department. into this, but I definitely think it’s worth it. Organiser Richard Caplin said just before “ I ’ m pretty nervous about It all just at tne JAKES DINER the first show: “There have been a lot of moment though.’-’ „ , u.. TEL 2746075 difficulties, and we have often come across red One spectator at the show observed: tape, but I think its all finally come together looked Tun but 1 wouldn’t want any of thos* now. Everyone involved is getting a huge buzz clothes myself.*' HYDE PARK CORNER WOODHOUSE LANE LEEDS 6 out o f it.” Mew s LEEDS STUDENT Friday M«y 26. I99S Crime Update 2 6 .5 .9 5 The fall MILLCtAJmi Mon/ague Burton flats. Devon/toad: An intruder gamed access to a flat on the second floor through insecure doors on the block and individual flat on Saturday afternoon, May 20th. They took off with a wallet containing £45 and bank cards, while the inhabitants sac in the kitchen Cardigan Lane, Burley: On the evening and fall o f May 18th, intruders entered the student terrace house through an insecure door and stole a pedal cycle which had been left in the kitchen. North Hill Road, Headingley: Persons unknown broke into the studem hails of residence on Friday afternoon. May 19th. They broke tn by climbing up asteel ladder fire escape to the second floor; they basiled the window and managed to release the latch on it They climbed into the bedroom and stole a camera and an caster egg, They made off via a lower Window and climbed back down the fire escape.
WEBTWOOD Longdate Terrace. Headingley; Three youths aged around 15/16 years old by Jamie HoRumi smashed the basement window with a Tories brick at 4pm on May 16th, they were luckily disturbed by neighbours before regarded as being indefensible if it is not they could take anything. “I’m in the mood for dancing,” think it should be used for an excuse to go allow further investigation, not least due to declared on the register o f members* W/od Line. Headingley: At tea-time on sang notorious ‘80s pop out and find a cushy job. If there are vehement public feeling. It is argued that May 15th two males used u crowbar to interests, hence their forced resignations conflicts, or they don’t declare their such an act would be an: "Abuse of power sensation the Nolan sisters. As smash the rear window and managed to after a barrage o f media scrutiny. interests, they should be kicked out.” leading to emerging abuses.” the name Nolan gains renewed steal a purse. Recent allegations levied at Sir Jerry It seems that the days when MPs stood Yet die issues raised have created a attention in political circles, VViggin MP over the tabling o f for Parliament through a sense o f vocation momentum all o f their own. Is I f you have any information on any crime however, it is hoards o f M ft amendments in the name of Sebastian Coe are gone. Instead it appears they simply investigation needed in other areas of please contact toe nearest police station without Coe's knowledge. have feather their own nests, a comment which public life, for example into the interests of rather than hoards o f fans who on ike following numbers: highlighted another area where regulation MPs refute, but the public very much journalists and media-moguls such as can be heard screaming the Millgarth; 0U 3 2413066 has been poor By his own admission, believe: results o f a recent MORI poll Murdoch? "What is clear from recent name from the rooftops. The Wiggin has stated this sort o f behaviour is show 48 percent of respondents would ban Weerwoodi 0113 2413501 events is tbat all o f us are on trial." ChapeUown: 0113 2413287 first report by the Nolan common among MPs. The register shows MP s from outside jobs. Exclaims Deputy Labour Leader John Committee on standards in that Wiggin is earning £60,000 a year to be The topic o f greatest debate to arise Prescott. It can only be in the interests o f public Hfe is about to be on the board o f six consultancies, one o f from the Nolan report surround plans to all o f us, then, that all malpractices are which is the British Holiday and Home investigate the donations of private firms rooted out. published and its Parks Association who will directly benefit to parties. Tory Chiefs reject such a Compiled by Alison Phillips recommendations have sent from his actions. study on the grounds o f prejudicing shockwaves through the Further examples o f misdemeanours future election results. Claiming the Commons as ministers begin to can be cited where the independence party has nothing to hide, Jeremy realise the implications of the between MPs and consultancies becomes Hanley, Party Chairman added: “In the suspiciously blurred. Lord Young, same Way voters have the right to mcp presents can o f worms they carelessly responsible for telecommunications anonymity, so too do individuals, who offered up to public debate. policies in the late 1980s, was later have a right to privacy as to how and New Single - 1 HATE ROCK 'N' ROLL - Out 5th June. When ine Back to Basics campaign appointed as the executive chairman of where they spend their money." went so horribly wrong back in 1993, Leeds Politics lecturer, Professor minister after minister was found with Geoffrey Pry. criticised the system of the jesus and mary chain their hand in the rill or else in their When the Back to public ninding o f parties as creating a own or another's underpants. This did Basics campaign went ‘dependency culture* within public life: nothing to dispel the fears o f two- "If you don't have individuals thirds o f the public, who in a survey by so horribly wrong back contributing to party funds, then there the Sunday Times said (hey believed in 1993, minister after is no need for parties to attempt to + SPECIAL GUESTS the Tories gave (lie impression o f minister was found with relate to the electorate at latge, he being both sleazy and disreputable. argues. “This raises the question of who "Then: is a disquiet about standards in their hand in the till or politicians actually serve/' public life and I have concluded that action else in their own or Last year's Select Committee report Leeds Metropolitan is imperative." said a defiant John Major into party funding was: “Sabotaged by when he first announced news o f a full another’s underpants. Conservative members,'' according investigation. Lord Nolan was duly Chris Millan, member o f the appointed, along with an all-party Cable and Wireless who own Mercury Committee. This is a view shared by University committee, and were instructed to look at Communications. Ministers Norman Richard Shephard, campaigner for the areas o f greatest concern, namely the. Lumout and John MacGregor have been freedom o f information and MP. who role o f consultancies and lobbyists in the accused by Labour as: “climbing on the added: “I f we are seen and perceived as NOTE DATE NOW political process, the sources o f MPs privatisation gravy train” for the benefits undesirable people on the make, the Incomes, and appointments within that arise from executive positions on the authority o f our law tails apart ” SATURDAY st JULY quangos, such as those that govern the new boards o f companies who had three* links c h a n g e 1 Where pubDcmoney has been used NHS trust hospitals. with respective departments where they to fund the government, the problem of Lobbying is a powerful way in which may gain privileged information. secret payments has not diminished. In groups or companies can express their However, demands to prevent MPs Germany, party foundations acting as opinions. A 1991 government inquiry gaining outside employment is met with independent but linked, organisations confirmed that it gave MPs; "independent, apprehension. Sir Archie Hamilton MP are free from disclosure laws, allowing ORIGINAL TICKETS STILL VALID critical and informed perspectives'' on argues that encouraging professional undedared donations to continue. issues. However, as former MPs Tim rrnddle classes into politics can only Other problems arise as to how to Smith and Neil Hamilton have teamed benefit the House, adding: "If they are allocate funds - by electoral support er Tickets: £9.00 Available from the box office from the 'cash for questions' being told they have to do this on a salary party membership - both o f which have controversies, a system o f MPs-for-hire, o f £32.000 a year, to be quite honest, they limiting effects on emerging patties. who accept teddies from Hotrods, free are not going to come-” Whatever the rights or wrongs o f T d : 0113 2442999 / 2430171. Also from holidays in exclusive hotels and the These views fail to soothe public scorn. such constitutional changes, Major will occasional four-figure payment, is publicly Bank Manager Mark Hart argues that: look tawdry if he fails to implement “MPa’ pay might be a bit low, but 1 don't Nolan's recommendations or refuses to LMUSU, LUC, Crash, Jumbo, Cavendish Travel (Leeds) MPs’ pay might be a bit low, but I don’t think it should be used for and Rocks Off (Bradford). (Subject to a booking fee). an excuse to go out and find a cushy job. If there are conflicts, or they don’t declare their interests, they should be kicked out. W R IT E TO : The Editor, Leeds Student Leeds University Union. PO Box 157. Leeds, LSI 1UH • 1 0 LEEDS STUDENT ftiiio May 26, tW5 e t t e r s Women’s minibus fuss over nothing WE arc writing to reply to the woman who walked home by herself in a shear skirt and CRITICS o f Robert Clough need to could not get on the womans minibus when BETTER THE think again (letters, 19 May). We'ns led GET CLOUGH ON WAR HEROES it stopped for someone else. to believe that VB Day commemoration As Women's Officers we were extremely could-and did-take place in a vacuum, concerned to hear about her plight Services divorced from everyday political for women's safety are regarded as top DEVIL YOU concerns. "Name and address supplied1 priority at both LMU and LMUSU. Over gives the gameaway when s/he tells us 0 £1000 per week is spent on running the lor two minutes, those of us with any m women's minibus at LUU, and at LMUSU ' where funds are short we have had to level of appreciation stood silent to ' m KNOW? show fisjpect and remember those men. struggle to keep the service at all. However wtpmen and children who gave theft we realised that it was not either student lives for something tlury probably didn't J union's minibus' that left her. It was Leeds STUART, you're the best! Be und&stand.* City Council's "Nightiink" bus which has to proud o f yourself! Be very T hi< coniplacenl stntBmont begs the be pre booked at least two days in advance. * 0 proud of yourself ' question Svhat about all the other . If she wants to complain she should Societies* tendencies to make minute* in the year? What about die rest complain to them, we are confident that our their moke their bright And o f the time, the agonising months spent minibuses would have picked her up. gifted suffer have been a waiting for basic operations, the dull Although LUU drivers are told not to pick constant source o f amusement weda spentsoaping out a living on a . ■ • *jl people up unless they have booloed, they are to me over the last several meagre pension, and the Insulting expected to be flexible in unexpected thousand years; and student* discossKttiof an'aging popuftttionV situations, and the LMUSU minibus does having a tower income than the suggesting lhat the ovcfoS’s ate Tittle not have a pre booking service. unemployed is an enjoyable more than parasites scrounging off the However, women should realise that the rest of us? S#: students' unions cannot be held responsible example o f this. ft . In your letter (May 19) you One indicator of a civilised socity is for their safety. Jo the first place the woman nor only condoned the situation how it threats its cltlerfy. Three months had made a choice to wulk nuher than take a as necessary. you .encouraged 'incessant nostalgia and two minutes' taxi- Secondly we should not need to point Exec. 10 loin with the Labour silence do not make up for \tara of out to women students the obvious dangers Party in betraying the students neglect o f flagging down an unidentifiable minibus who vote for them. Such sweet 1 draw three conclusions from this; 1 that might be a women’s minibus. This has Firstly, the VE Day commemorations Si been happening a lot at Oxley Flats and has audacity? You sweet, sweet servant in the armies Of had little to do with the dead and the the potential to lead to a very nasty damnation. survivors of a brutal war. Secondly, lets situation, Whilst Iim distastful of make sure these people can get what The minibuses are (and shook!be) your implication that many they need , not just what a stingy behifit extensively used by women students at both unrepresented students would system is prepared (0 pay them. In institutions. We do at much as we phisically like to be martyred, you pardculur. Id's tdl the fear-mongers can-please don't blame us for that incident countered it wonderfully with behind the aging population argument the presumption that Union when to get oft politics cannot deal with more Perhapse most tmportanfiy,le£s Debbie Jones (Womens Officer, LUU) than one Tory injustice. Such a build the son of anti-war movement & Deborah Hartman (Womens Officer, profound and radiant sense of which can ensure H never happens | t LMUSU) hopelessness, quite exquistite! again Oh yes, yes. YES! 1 PS Donations for the service are always I've always hated eccentric Graham Bumflcld 0973 380088 extremely welcome. cults with knee jerk reactions, How VE day should be celebrated? Me: Diana Yale especially those thirteen young men who went rioting and turning bankers tables over in the temple. Oh how the arrogant and GRANTED, THE NUS IS ACTING IN OUR BEST INTERSESTS narrow minded blossom with derision and false witness, like IT IS the elected representatives of students from entering higher students interests in this whole their liability to pay. ensure that the outcome is the best gangrene from a tomiquieted the two Leeds Students Unions who education, and is spreading student saga, for we are left without a Moreover, it need not mean that possible for students. wound. look set to "sell out" students over hardship. The second is that a voice. you repay for the rest of your life, Alas, LUU and LMUSU Excellent work Stuart! student finance, not NUS. (Leeds return to die 1979 level of grants is A contributory system, if since there can be an income Executives show no signs of Seriously excellent work. Student 19 May). simply not on die table. It just isn’t structured properly, has all the related ceiling above which no similar courage, or indeed any There are two facts that cannot going to happen. possibilities for a genuinely more payment Ls required. desire to think imaginatively about be avoided in the debate over By refusing to consider die progressive funding system, There are plenty of forms of new ideas. contributory system, all with their They will keep their heads Yours insincerely, student finance. The first is that the options for a post-educational largely because it is based on the current Student Loan system is contributions system, and by ability to pay. separated advantages and pitfalls. stuck firmly in the sand. This Universally, however, they means they simply don't matter. SATAN unfair, is discouraging potential sticking blindly to a demand for a It therefore allows for flexibility return to "Full Grants', LUU and not only to ensure that students represent an improvement over the Perhaps insignificance is the best LMUSU are ensuring that they who fail to get jobs are penalised, status qua we can hope for from them. have nothing significant to but also to encourage students from The National Union of Students contribute to the debate at all- more deprived backgrounds into has had the courage to face reality Yours sineeriy Thar is the genuine betrayal of education by waiving all or part of and is taking pan in the debate to Peter Metcalfe Politics Finalist There’s trouble brewing (University of Leeds)
WE were suprised and disappointed at the and did not come into the bar until the two Students exagerated report you wrote in "The people had left .There was no one hurt as far Student", following an incident at our pub on as we are aware and the incident was over in 13/05/95- We know "The Student" has high less than 30 seconds. told to get standerds and regards itself as a very Since we moved into the Jolly Brewer this profesional paper and normally it is. We is the only incident. would not advertise so frequently if this was Finally we must make the point that we are Smart trying to make goad a super pub that has been not so. FIRST year sociology students I However the inaccuracy o f this report neglected over the past five years and bring requires that we write to you to put the matter real ale and "a good pub atmosphere* to the are taught a lot about the straight. Jolly Brewer. Reports that are so innaccurate importance of correlation and There were two people involved in the do nothing for the reputation o f "The causality to 'good theory'. Carol incident, not four os your report stated. We Student” nor our business. Smart's thesis on the amenity of did not Know who they were so we cannot infidelity to manage does not | see bow you could call it a "revenge attack*- add up because statistically Revenge for what'/Furthermore the lady you Yours Faithfully adultry is the main grounds for quoted was not present in the room at the petitoning divorce. tune o f the incident- We are told on good S.Hurst on behalf o f the manager. The , athonty that she was in the toilet at the time directors of the Jolly Pub company LTD Yours Faithfully, LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 26,1995 1 1
ART OF THE MAnER
CHOCOLATE and Barbie were two of the inspirations for an art exhibition this week. A collection of tortured artists exposed their souls before the public of the city : But the torture could also have been with one eye on finals- just weeks away for the Fine Art student exhibitionists. The show ends today and can be found behind the Faversham.
A ll pica: Julian Fatjquetlr
Problem s on DO YOU Byt-ter row t h e c a r d s WANT TO
COMPUTER users are A NEW library access system, hailed a success complaining of a lack of by library officials, has suffered a blow with the resources and training in the run up to exams, writes David first thefts within the library since the scheme Smith. was instituted. Finalists at LM U argue The new Leeds University system failed to prevent two thieves on EARN £50 ? their equipment» outdated Monday when one stole four walleLs from Edward Boyle library and too slow. The machines users, while the other stole a purse from the Medical library. It is not are inundated with potential clear whether the two incidents are related. users and there are not enough Martin Gill, Assistant Librarian terminals to go around for Header Services commented dial By Jamie Halloms Meanwhile, in stark the thefts were as a result of students Interviewers needed oontasL university staff have leaving their valuables sitting on certainly reduced the opportunities been given specialised training desks or in coat pockets. Entry by K>r criminals to enter the library" in the latest technology, a the thief is thougto to be from a lost Two other students have source at LM USU claimed. or stolen card. attacked the system after they were for LUU "h 's a terrible misuse of “ Because the student took an tinted in an attempt to gain illegal resources,” the insider said. hour to report the thefts we were access to the library. "Win. should staff get all the unable to prevent their union card Second years Susan Canning privileges when students are [Venn being re-usedr Gill added. and Richard Wynn were given a annual survey '95 ! working against tough "Unfortunately libraries are not the ticking off by library staffwhen they deadlines and preparing for quiet and sale place that people were nabbed by a porter attempting exams?" believe them to be." to use one card to pass through die Meanwhile students at Mr Murgatroyd. Deputy barriers. Leeds University have also Security Officer for die university Wvnn, who was alrudy in the been plagued by computer said: T in extremely disappointed, library loaned Susan his card, but as troubles. Several networks in but with the number o f students the red light finally flicked green, (fillerent departments have using the facilities, the recent crime porter Bill Leg ran over and barred gone down in recent weeks, tecttriJ is not as bad as it could her entrance. causing panic as students Apply to Robin Johns, potentially be.” Leg defended his actions, raced to beat assessed essay Although describing previous arguing: 'T or security reasons deadlines. spates o f crime more serious than students must have their own union Even the computet present, he added: “Both police and cards. catalogues in the main security offices* have since “ When she swiped the card 1 LUU Exec libraries have slowed, raising undertaken observations o f the simply stopped the gate from being Questions about the capacity of library in an attempt to catch turned. I think they should be done the overall system. Itineyesr H y - access -system - has for Ibis. ' ...... 0l.ew €U 9* jt/ta .y , 2 6 , 1 9 9 5
lianks to the recent popularity of stage acts,ft can seem Hypnotism hypnotists an? ju?t Inure to make vuu look stupid in front of | newfound friends in FxesHexs Wfeek-But those who favour T therapy over entertainment suggest there is ft lot more to Margaret Gamer Ha* boen a hypnosis than meets theheavjHidded eye. Margaret Gamer has been practising hypnotherapy for 11 ycarej hypnotist for 11 years. She sees and is registered with the Institute ol Hypnosis and her role as a cafalsyt to help Parapsychology- Students often visit her for help with stress, people understand themselves. ronf&fence-btrtlding, and focusing on revision but she dams she can also cure deep-rooted problems like depression and help thenodves in a caring, confidential r n-judgemenul people quit smoking and. stick to slimming It seems an unhappy atmosphere." | chflcDiood experience often creates a need for 9omethinglike Jess Bailey a History finalist at Leeds UniverSityvtrfunteeredto smoking or over-eating in adult life.“Through a number of undergo some hypnotherapy to find out just what it was like and regression sessions, 1 help create positive feelings within a client, what it could do tor her. which restores self control." Although die has never been hypnotised before/ she has Margaret Is not offering an instant cure though,'-W takes tune to considered it to give up smoking. On this occaiaorv Margaret mms ihe sub-consciousarbund. We are all made up of suggestions offered to take her bade to a positive childhood experience to help You are who you are because of what peopk* say and do toyou her deal with her work stress. when you are a child- But there is no reascm why anyone should But nevermind work worries* wasn't she concerned about put up with a hurtful suggestion, inside themselves nut outside txang put into a hypnotic trance? . . thear contmt provided they are prepared to devote time, money "I wasaKt apprehensive, I was worried about whatl might reveal in and self-disdplineto be fret of the problem.' fronted you. I thought I wouldn't know what I was doing/' Apparently, each of us has the strength and power tngpino self To make her relax, Maigaiet told Jess to unagine bidding onto an hypnosis and a small percentage of ftie population can go into such air balloon with her left hand which physically pulled it upwante a deep trance they can anaesthetise themselves in order to have a while in her right hand, a rock pulled her down She men toy down on serious operation like open heart suigery. the couch tensmgand relaxing Wmusdes. letting go of any negative Although Margaret teaches her clients sell-hypnosis, most feelings and Margaret counted her down from 10. ( M therapy does not take you to such a deep stage, out to a state of Jess was asked to let her mind move back to a happy childhood relaxation and concentatfOn with a heightened awareness induced experience.tence. The event she remembered and re-expenenoedre-expeoenced was when sljeshe got a pony. Even though it was 15 years ago she recallsi tnrmiggestiQn- - . , „ - a jh v - T try and relieve underlying tension in a client. A' child who has the exact Jay,aav, what she was weannft.wearing, where she,wasshe was and wwhat her a bad experiotCEV sometimes in later Hie feels negative. Iworkoin ny looked like. Jess says she remembers everything that the underlying consciousness to release experiences. Humans happened__ppened and the experience was really pleasantp "It felt similar to pretend that bad incidents have not happened, but years later they how you feel before you go to sleep." As she remembered she catchup. Therapyenablesthedienttogobackand’seeabad began to feel as happy now as she had been then. experience as an adult, and it becomes no big deal. The will to Margaret brought Jess back to the present with a countdown change must come from within the person; he must deal with it and asked her to picture herself as she wantstobe, to feel cheerful andlefitgo." and refreshed, with, only good emotions and thoughts. Our minds hold the keys not justto our emotions but also to And did it work? our whole sense of well-being frequently, a physical problem or because of it I felt a lot calmer and really relaxed. I had been so addiction can be helped through finding out wnat makes us tick stressed about my work and all that day I felt so much better 1 Although Margaret isn't offering instant miracle cures, she think it has worn off now. but it was good. I would definitely go explains* “my role is to act as .1 catalyst I help peopkr understand again.”
As the exam season appraoches, our heads are being flooded with all manner of useless information. More amazing is the news that this info only uses about 10 per cent of our minds' capacity. So where does the other 90 per cent go ? TAMZIN LEWIS asks three psychic healers how they use this surplus brainpower.
piritual heakn worldwide cull Western Chine Siianeandscm spiritual healinc i- processes. Joyce Cave is i ( Yorkshire Healer?: years. Because Jojk charge those wnoc '1 was told al; entered into two j assessed by the Be allowed me to bee mind "I think a lot ni There aren'ttnam family, the gift MicheSe Shaw predicted that a womon who hod just lost her husband womU gooff an a world cruke. She was right. ichelle Shaw, ag»id 28. has been a professional clairvoyant for five years and believes she cam help other people, by seeing arid failing what is needed------for themto be happier more fulfilled more energised and balanced.M "By reading someone's energy points I can feel what a person is feeling, sol caniseeif something needs removing or replacing. They ricochet through the bodyfiom the backbone and affect the front That is Why some people put on wejm t if truy are suffering hurt 1 heal the front and hack of thepody,'' People come to her for relief after an operation and from physical ailments like cancer. Women often seek her help if their emotions or hormones are out of balance, and men if they are having;trouble with their sexuality or work. Some'students visit her in order to predict whether they will pass exams, how hard they should revise, what degree they are going to get, and whether they should take time out after graduating or whether they snouldgo straight info work. Michelle recommends three sessions with a mixture of Reiki healing, intuitive clairvoyance and counselling. Michelle is trained in Reiki, whfehis a Japanese hands-on-healing, using universal life energy, which flows through all living things. Reiki does not involve a belief system or a God. "A s a Reiki mastec I have been given universal life energu which is like having a permanent extra boost of energy Reiki is a loving, childlike energy; it is very soft and gentle Because it is universal, anyone can go on the certificated course, and gain Reiki for life. 1 did Reiki courses to back up the clairvoyant in no.#*x* W51 people a reading, and telling them that they have a problem. I can follow cm from that and heal by putting my hands-on, in a similar process to spiritual healing." "Everyone feels different during the healing when they receive energy, you can either feel warm or cool Your energy comes into balance, as stress and' tension are released.*' ReSa heafing is partly based an meditation and relaxation as this takes the stress from the mind which helps the body Michelle comments: "M y life isa balance between the saenoe side of mind over mattes and the As a Reiki master, I have been given universal life energy spiritual side of trustineand just "being', between Che two is a straight route:" Michelle has healed Bie pain and anxietyof a woman who had a breast removed due to cancer One person came to see her before going into hospital to have an eye removed. A week later when she went to the doctor he found her eve perfectly healthy. When it comes to readings* Michelle uses the wholebody. She saves her clients Chakradrawmgs of themselves, which illustrate the seven differently coloured energy points, going up the spinal column. The base Chakra influences activities like walking and sport Pelvic Oiakra symbolises sexuality and joy. The heart area is for loving, new beginnings and growth. The throat influences communication and expression and thenead Cnakra is for thought. Michelle combines this with reading people's auras which she describes as energy fields surrounding the body. "We have an emotional, mental, physical and spiritual bodies; all of which have energy, which creates the aura. If someone walks directly up to you. you might feel threatened and move back, as their aura is disagreeing with yours; By reeling the aura of someone I can tell how they are feeling and what they are thinking ’’ Through these methods, Michelle is able to see into peoples' past "Someone mav come to me with a weakness which they can't solve. I will reveal a childhood experience which caused the weakness; the person was scared and the fear stayed in the body and caused a blockage for the rest of their life, As an biers have been prominent in different adult they remember the incident and work through it with me in a healing ■j cultures for centuries. Their position in the process which involves connecting with the blockage area in the body. My (iurch diminished with the rise of rational advke means that in six months time the person will be totally changed.* ikience, yet there is renewed interest in Michelle admits that in her childhood years she was very sensitive flg as many turn to alternative medical "Negative experiences pushed me to retreat within myself as 1 took everything very personally. Through hard work, self-taught visual meditation is a Christian spiritualist registered with the and discipline I round peace, calmed things down by centering and balancing Ifers Association and has been healing for 14 myself, falso excerrised, swam and went norse-ridrng which l find are very grloyce believes she has a g ift she does not good for the deansing the mind. 1 can now work myself straight into a stillness rmo come to her, and empty my mind of thoughts. This helps to store up energy." flat church that I had the gift, aged SOL I Her 9ensibvity was related to her gift. Michelle realised she was a like hitting my head against a brick wall as they don't make clairvoyant aged just six "1 have always had the ability to feel differently and pro years o f probation healing before being any effort. j*f Board of the Healing Federation, which see things differently from others. I could feel how other people were feeling, Joyce believes that the results speak for themsleves and would be very nervous if my school class was nervous, this caused me H become a healer. when people doubt how much power the spirit has. Met of us have the gift, but w e just don't realise, more stress than other children, out more pleasure as well, for example like “Healing gives quality to cancer patients lives even when the class really liked the teacher. jgny young healers; if you choose to have a though I know that I can’t cure them. I have healed cancer ^ often comes after your children have grown She can ro w regress into a child and, although she does not suggest that patients who haven't been given long by the doctors, and anyone be regressed unless they personally feefthe need to, she can connect tie Independent ana free again." thejj live jonger than expected. Just by giving them a little r lies spiritual healing involve exactly? "A with another persbn's inner child" quality and lessening their pain, I feel"*I I do themthen a service." But Michelle does not just look back, as she can use her mental powers to pealed feels the heat which comes from my oyce treats both young and old people with stress, tilling comes from me to you. It's only when I predict peoples' futures. intis, asthma, back-trouble and those who have "M y clairvoyant predictions are always right I predicted that a woman fito heal that the heat comes through, the rest undergone operations. She also visits people housebound V{ are normal." J who had just Ids! her husband, was to travel me world. She ridiculed the idea, through strokes and cancer. piers believe that healing is channelled but three weeks later she met a man who took her off on a three month round- " I do neat less serious cases like stress. I treated a student the-world cruise. I also predicted that a student who was interested in pelves from the spirit side o f life to the and I could feel all her stress when I touched her. She was gilso has the power o f 'distance healing'. modelling would soon be on the stage. A week latet she had a stage modelling amazed how relaxed and different she felt afterwards. " contract rB.m,15ne in thoughts and send out healing Healing does not entail going into a hypnotic state, but if taudng to them. 1 am a big believer in For those who doubt her powers Michelle insists "1 don't implant ideas is meant to rejuvenate; bringing a relaxing, serene, into the subconscious, I just predict out of the bhie, or reveal unconscious pc I always have positive thoughts when I peaceful feeling all around you, while loosening aches and onlydraws negativity to you. thoughts. I open my mind to let intuition flow through." pains. And for anyone scared of letting a clairvoyant reveal their hidden selves;, must the healer who must have faith in God's There are always going to be people who think the work 9 Michelle explains "1 work naturally. I am therein a nurturing, motherly loving o f the spiritual healer is limited, but as Joyce points out capacity." iirotve mmd over matter on behalf of the "there are already some doctors and cancer hospitals fli number of people who, when I heal, it feels benefiting from the work o f healers.” 0lew iew J/L aty 2 6 , 1 9 9 5 Death and the Maiden Steven Berkoff...maverick of the British theatre and one-time Hollywood bad-auy. u i i i M (15) The great man is currently in Leeds with his interpretation of Shakespeare s play Dir: Roman Polanski of Roman-style political intrigue. JIM ______' _ _ Sters: Sigourney Weaver. Ben Kingsley BiSWELL finds a unique interpretation of r ■ 1 ■ ■ T I > Coriolanus and wonders whether Berkoff I 1,^^ I I 1 ^ f Death and the M aiden w a s a n y m ore gripping;, the audience would have has any claim to being a ... | _ | _ j ( Ito Be pnsed from their seals with crowbars. From the first shot of waves c ra sh in g a ga in st the screen, w e are plunged into a storm of instability and mental violence. Paulina Lorca (Sigourney Weaver) Is the victim of a South American junta. Fifteen years after her persecution she believes that chance has delivered to her Giving room the doctor w ho once tortured her. The victim becomes the torturer as she tries to extort a confession from the accused using, the same methods that were used on ROMAN her. The d octo rs gu ilt or innocence is not revealed until the end of thefllm. L ike The Madness o f King George, Death and the Maiden is based on a play, about the | teven Berkoffs new production of itself gives voice to grievances he must have felt during borders between madness and sanity. But S eriods o f dramatic obscurity and non-acceptance: "1 Polanski uses the interior o f a house to Shakespeare's Coriolanus attempts to Eanish you!.. . There is a world elsewhere.1 reproduce the intensity of the stage setting, force upon the play a political analogy What, then, of the innovations that Berkoff brings to this rather than trying to create cinematic H relevant to a contemporary audience. play? Much is made o f mime and dance, in line with BerkofPs m agic w ith ou tdoor locations. drive to "liberate the untapped vessel o f energies'1' w hich is the 3n one quick image, Polanski links sex, actor him self. Perhaps it is a mistake to call this an innovation the violent past and dom estic tension as __| However/ in setting Coriolanus in since it has its precedents in the tragedy o f Seneca and before. Hftiiljnn is kissed by her husband, w ho Germany he has obviously learnt from the But Berkoff’s application, to what is usually a somewhat holds a gnaw ed chicken bone and exposes, staid Shakespearean tragedy, develops the the cigarette bum s on her breast. The heavy-handed approach of some adaptations, emotional potential and helps the Roman-feel. camera makes the viewer a participant hi such as that of Bertolt Brecht, and This is a refreshing Pastiche is also in evidence for the the film ; m ovin g through the w in dow as not forced the issue too much* portrayal o f the battle scenes at Corioles. Paulina does die washing up and alternative to the This is a refreshing alternative to the voyeuristically dwelling on Tier scars. Though this production is located lavish naturalism o f big-budget Shakespeare. Throughout Death and theMaiden you in the Third Reich it is primarily to lavish naturalism of The chorus pair off anaadom the back o f the are made to shift your sympathy from one assist a modem audience's stage with freeze-frame duels like the centaurs character to another; between Paulina big-budget and men o f the Elgin marbles. Sudden mood (Weaver is thoroughly convincing, understanding of it The parallels changes are cleverly handled. The two teetering between insanity and are not so overstated as to mar the Shakespeare tribunes Sicinius and Brutus amble atonga vulnerability) and her successful lawyer subtleties of the original play lamp-lit street, plotting the downfall of husband, played by Stuart Wilson, whose Coitoianos, before eru pting with radical attempts to be the voice o f reason are because of any strong feelings we fervour. forever threatened by guilt. The violence may have about Nazi Germany. Like the character of Coriolanus, Berkoffs actisg and between Paulina ana the doctor (Ben BerkofPs fine lead performance of dynamic yet direction are not without their flaws. Over*stylisea entrances Kingsley) is sexual but not erotic, self-obsessed nobility, accurately mirrors the make this production uncomfortably long and the use o f music heightening the am biguity in the three over speech occasionally makes it hard to understand what is relationships, paradoxical qualities of Adolf futler without getting being said. This film , in an incredibly compact in the way or the original text. The tremendous Berkoffs performance perhaps fails to suggest the arrogance amount o f time, deals With a universal pathos o f the final scene, which hinges on appropriate to a military leader like Coriolanus. Sardonic ne roblem: how do w e deal w ith a past that Coriolanus's belated tragic awareness, is not lost. may be but his portrayal of stateliness has room for as hurt us? Is it possible to forgive and The New York Times said of this production: "If there is improvement However, these are minor quibbles for what is an forget, and if not, how do w e distinguish E one Shakespeare play Berkoff was Dorn to direct it is accomplished alternative to more traditional readings of this justice from revenge? classic play. Suspense has never been so rewarding. Coriolanus. Berkoff’s stubborn singularity is particularly appropriate for this tragedy o f non-conformity. The play Essi Lindstedt Rob Roy (15) Odeon Cinema Dir. Michael Caton-Jones Stars: Liam Neeson, Jessica Lange. Tim Roth, John Hurt ■his film is apparently based ana passionate, romantic, epic life story. What 1 want to know is, how did they turn this ihfoa tedious, overlong, eConomical'With-thfi-truth feature, which leaves the viewer unmoved and bored by the climax? And it all started so well... Magnificent scenery, marvellous costumes and a splendid herd of Highland cattle are all spoiled when Rob Roy opens his mouth and we discover that somewhere down the family line, he became Irish. A grealbearof a man, Neeson (known fo r his Oscar-nominated Schindler) certainly looks the part, a 'true' Highlander one might say - but his times. failing is Us leading man. accent is desperately unconvincing. One The story is sound enough, but the Whim the film is good - the fight can only hope that M el Gibson'sis better film never really rises above the scenes, the chases across heather and In his "star in Scotland" film, Bravehearf, mediocre. The script is admirably down river -one can almost forgive its later in the year. brought to life by the acting, with Jessica empty patches and overlong duration, Robertwjy MacGregorwas Lange as Roy's wife and Tim Roth's camp but unfortunately it is only a partial purportedly Scotland sKObfn Hood, Engfish not-so-gentlcman stealing the exoneration- You leave the cinema feeling attempting to protect his village from show. But even w ith these highlights, the apathetic, and almost Wishing the cruel winters and even cruel er film seems tired, and perhaps this is due dastardly Roth had killed Neeson, so that Englishmen. A fter the money he borrows to Neeson’s unconvincing portrayal of Lange could avenge him in the sequel, from the Marouis of Montrose (a the eponymous hero. With the minor and w e could concentrate on the action wonderfully devious John Hurt) is parts cast so well (Brian Coy and Eric rather than w indng at his accent. stolen, the film charts nis battle to regain Stoltz providing superb supports it his honour and keep his life hr dangerous seems a shame that the film's major Ben Cook A r t s 1 4 / 1 5 ( ------N [ H T T l Street Fighter(12) Odeon Cinema Dir. Steven E. DeSouza Sters.Jean Claude Van-Damme, Raul Julia* Kylie Minogue Die Hard penman DeSouza directs The Van-Man in a video game adaptation. CHRIS COLLETT wishes he hadn't. film based on a computer game was a dubious idea right from the Astart and this mind-numbingly dull offering starring the Musdes-from- Brussels is quite possibly the worst action movie ever made. In theheartof deepest Asia, in the mythical country of Sharmaloo, General M- Bison (a power-crazed warlord played by tne late Raul Julia) is planning world domination. H e has taken hostage a few dozen nobodys and is asking, rather anibitiousty, for 20 billion dollars ransom. If he doesn't get it within three days he's going to get really mad and kul them. The only diing that can stop him is the musdebound, all-American hero Guile (Jean Claude Van-Damme) and his Allied Nations army. Several unnecessary and confusing subplots are woven in to this already ridiculous storyline so that aD the characters in the original game can be featured. This would have been excusable if some of these characters had got to display more of their deadly special moves. Instead Guile gets to do a few good, airborne roundhouse kicks and Bison gets to tire the odd electric bolt but that’s about it. N o sonic booms, no flame throwing and no one gets their face bitten on. If more Oktne game moves had been used it would nave at least made the film vaguely diveting and helped to detract from the appalling script the dialogue is (ackeningly cliched and woefully unfunny; one dismal gag follows another. Worse still, the film tries to address moral issues. When Guile's friend Charlie gets fumed into a monster resembling the Incredible Hulk having a bad hair day, he helplessly cries "What have they done to me?" and asks to be put out of his misery. Just as Guile is about to oblige though, the scientist forced to conduct the experiment runs in, proclaiming in true Frankenstein style, "You do not Perhaps performing solo was too much of Jeremy Hardy doesn't cut a very have the right!” Andre Vincent a strain. A s story after story was imposing figure. He's pretty short and Someone who should be put out of COMEDY plus support interrupted ana political comment fell dresses more Oxfam man Armani. It’s her misery is poor old Kylie Minogue. dead, he was left to comment on the dear that he's your average left-wing, She plays the pointless role of Cammy, Harvey Milk Bar, surrealism of the situation: "there's a fat liberal, white, m iddle class, grammar- Guile's Lieutenant, which has her b oy with a plunger on his belly!" Yes, there school-boy-done-fairiy-well. This is running after him like a lovesick school mu really was. The last part of the routine reflected in his subject matter which covers girl frowning continuously and (something about oral sex. tailored for the the usual stand-up topics of sex, school, putting on a terrible English accent hey're heckling each other now; 1 sophistication of student comedy) died relationships and parenthood. surpassed only by Van-Damme's ought as well go and have my beet; slow ly away, and in the gaps where the However, far from perpetuating political American one. Most of the actors had Tsaid Andre Vincent despondently. A ! laughter should have been, the audience correctness, Hardy s liberal, left of centre the sense to ham up their part but Kylie night o f com edy had disintegrated into j could reflect on the accidental absurdism stance seems to allow him to get away plays it totally straight ana looks curry gags with a group of beery lads that ended a strange night. with jokes about every minority going, incredibly shouting out such w itty quips as "give us a from lesbians, to environmentalists, to stupid as a punchline" or "show us your belly button." j Essi Lindstedt senior citizens. "1 like old people, I just result She Worthy o f Oscar W id e , that one. wish they'd drive faster than they can should Things had started so well. A n walk.'1 have stuck interpretative dance to the Stingray theme Jeremy Hardy Anyone who's heard leremy Mdrclu tosfagmg by debonair compere Rainer Hersch was a ; COMEDY Speaks To The Nation on tne radio w ill know This film particular highlight. I was never so sure Three Legoed Dog Club how acerbic his dry humour can be. The is one for about persecuting the audience as a way of j Feast & Firkin increased freedom Of expression that live thelobo- getting things moving, but perhaps that j stand-up allows only serves to enhance his tomised was because most o f my table got offered addity. Though his com edy has an only. to the lads at the front for sexual purposes. he upstairs of the Feast and Firkin has undoubtedly political angle, it's on Everyone Next along was Paul Thom. He seemed j the air of a w d H oo k ed after church personal subjects like parenthood and else should like an amiable fellow, but his blokey sense j Thall with its high ceiling and cheerful getting old mat Hardy excels. avoid it like of humour meant his style was more like { bunting. The huge oar at the back spoils A gein g seemed to be one o f thirty- the plague. someone entertaining his friends in the the effect somewhat but even vicars must something Hardy's obsessions. queue for the bar, than a bom raconteur. enjoy a sweet sherry from time to time. Performing in front o f a predominantly He drew his inspiration largely from the Wnen Jeremy H ardy appeared there last student audience. Hardy initially seemed here and now, commenting a .lot on the week he had all the trappings of a very self-consdous about his age and the audience and their farmyard noises. H e community clergy man, the nervous subjects his jokes cover; "Oh, you're all too showed the bemusement common to mannerisms, the earnest expressions and young to have seen/done/known/eaten visitors to Leeds when faced with the above all, the cardigan. O f course, your this," was tiie stock phrase every ten bizarre decor o f the Harvey Milk bar, but typical vicar doesn t usually open his minutes or so which did get irritating after maybe future comedians should be sermon with a semantics discussion on aw hile. H ow ever the rest o f his act is,so warned that their audience know it looks female genitalia. Likewise, tirades against damned polished and funny thatit's like an aircraft hangar. vegetarians, old people and the Tory Party impossible not to forgive the wonderful, Poor Andre Vincent. For someone who i probably wouldn't be high ©0 his agenda. woolly Jeremy Hardy, and so his comedy has been on the circuit for years, he found j Unless it was the ex-Bishop of Durham, of halo remains intact. it hard to handle the sheer persistence and course. So, clerical comparisons end with stupidity o f the comments from the lads. the cardigan. Gemma Wallace Three refreshing new bands will be playing the Heineken Music Festival later this summer in Leeds' Roundhay Park. The BUTT BROTHERS found out who was lager than life. o f the big record companies. Although PURESSENCE this three piece have been together for only twelve months, they already have Their sound is a mixture of dark some impressive support slots under energetic rock and seductive melodies. their belfe with Shea Seven, Whiteout They have been likened to The and Supergrass. Chameleons, capturing that 80's A na as Tor the future? 'W ell, at the independent sound. So where do-they moment we haven't got the means to draw their influences from? "W e're not get a record ou t" sKrugs Dave, "so really concerned ~with other bands, w e we're concentrating on our live 're just interested-in doing our ow n performances. We’re happy with our set thing" answers lead singer James and the response to our music is getting Mudriczki. "Basically w e just like good better and better; w e're very hopeful." song writers like Simon and Garfunkel." A t the Duchess, they open their set with 'N ear Distance*, a song that knocked the crowd o ff their feet, a true CATATONIA classic and one o f the best records to ass our ears hi the last tw elve months, H ailing from various parts o f Wales, ogether for over four years, Puressence Catatonia are now beginning to show f(below) have recently signed a major the w orld what they are made of. Their deal with Island Records and their first and only single, 'W eed', received fittUre looks very assured.Recent critical acclaim and their current tour support slots with Marion, The has given them much needed exposure. Charlatans and The Lightning Seeds Influences on Catatonia's music range prove how highly regarded mis band from Belly to the Throwing Muses are, so forget your Boddingtons Bitter wouldn't you say, lads? "N o, not really," and Oasis, Puressence are the new answers a rather hoarse, party battered cream o f Manchester. Cerys, lead singer and guitarist. "We want to influence other people. It would be easy for us to say someone like The THE VERY TALL BUILDINGS Beatles, but we are more into good songs of our own-" "I suppose we would describe ourselves They certainly do possess a fine as being in the cast of classic English selection o f catchy tunes that swing from pop bands, such as The Small Faces/1 happy sing-a-longs to slow, personal explains lead singer Dave Bunns, and ballads. A t the Duchess, the crowd with songs such as 'This is the life ' and seemed more than pleased to witness t's Friday night and w e’re upstairs at the months we could have signed to whoeverwe 'Probably Me\ it can only be a matter of this remarkable band hammer out their warned.” Duchess of York. Sitting opposite is lime before they are snapped up by one songs with a passion rarely seen. Even though Jamie has an arrogant air of IJamie Harding, the lead singer of Marion. confidence about him, even he must have been Under the guidance o f one tim e Smiths mentor Joe Moss, they've released three singles, and supported Radiohead and hard to get were we a Morrisey and recently signed a deal with from die age of 15, so Marion have been.five years London Records. in the making, things haven't moved that auickly." Harding is dtessed completely in black Marion have already been described as a displaying an angelic; yet cheeky grin on his face Smiths for the nineties - their first few singles he Degins to tell us the story of tneband: 'W e have been produced by Morrisey collaborator rehearsed from June 1993 until Christmas and Stephen Street -but Jamie has been accused of then tried to get a record deal, but w e realised sounding like Bono, so does he find these constant that the bass player and the drummer were shit so comparisons annoying? "You' ve just got to accept w e got shot of them and bought in Jules and it. If you want to be on the front cover you have to Murad. We then locked ourselves away and realise that what Is written aboutyoum the main practiced until June 1994 and then once again feature is a load of shit," Other stories in the music went in search of a record deal and within three press accused Marion of avoiding Morrissey Teenage Fandub Ed Ball Sidi Bou Said Aura ButterflyChrysalisCater- Grand Prix If a Man Ever Loved a Bodies pillar (Infectious) (Creation) Woman (Creation) (Ultimate) m d Ball is a troubled man it seems. long with Sleeper and M olly Half Head, 'hen an album is described to you as Photographed on this album cover oh a the female trio Sidi Bou Said seem an ''ambient thing", you expeict a . Js any band in it for a laugh would v deserted pebbled shore, gazing woefully at destined for a lifetime of praise from w barrage of birdsong and squelchy, E ! organic, type noises, with samples of people This stage enthusiasm has now transferred ' he pier in the background, you 'd almost think Gary Crowley and continual appearances on itself onto vinyl with their latest album. ie was contemplating a suicide attempt. And, "The Beat". H ow ever, Bodies is a w ilful babbling aDout aliens in an attempt to sound The Fannies have made a record that is more f things are really as t>ad as this album makes attempt, and at times almost refreshing. "B ig mystic and profound. Fortunately, this serious than ever before. There is still the w t, w ho can blame him? Yellow Taxidermist" and the Beatles-esque hit album is nothing lik e that. W hat you swapping of vocalists, the ‘60s riffs and 1/ a Man Ever Loved a Woman is Mr Ball's to "O d e to Drink" are highlights; but it is actually get is six fairly upbeat tunes which harmonising; but the songs are simply better. lebut offering; ten tracks detailing love-sick Claire Lemmon's unsettling and distasteful chug along nicely with bleeps in all the right "Spatky's Dream" is destined to be the number •egret which are likely to nauseate even the lyrics which are the Teal talking point. A tasty places. Com bined w ith some softer and one that never was. When God handed out nost strong-stomached o f listeners. example is; "w rap yo u r colon round my altogether more analogue sounds it ends up catchy tunes. Teenage Fanclub got the lot, and It opens with "It's Kinda Lonely where 1 | w aist Yum. W hat's for tea, mother? sounding like Orbital's second album given a "Verisimilitude" is evidence that three chords are im". Apparently penned on B A 2 $ z C U a M M The gut wrenching lyrics seem, som ehow to slight pop twist by Fluke. as good as ten. The lads have made Gratd Prix Ydarita, i work alongside the majority o f the twisted Although there is nothing really new or into a bank of tear-jerkers from heaven. TQ Make vhatsoo but always melodic songs. Sidi Bou Said do differentgoing on here- it certainly isn't it Clear” finds Norman singing words that would ong-writing formula, ie repetitive acoustic not seem remotely concerned with the boring. Tne songs are well structured and bring any heartless hardman aown on his knees ;uitar strumming, infiltrated by the occasional passing of fashion; concentrating instead on have direction - there are no sprawling, begging forgiveness. Put aH of the joviality aside larmonica (fo r mat added blues feel), layered good, solid left-of-centre pop. As they sing [directionless 15 minute tracks here. Each vith Ed's remorseful lyrical tones. On "Big Yellow Taxiderrrusr, maybe it's time contains a load o f different elements which anausten to the sincerity of their songs. Simple but effective, Teenage Fanclub take the best bits W h y M r Ball feels the need to unleash his to move away from your "obsession with drop in and out w ith alacrity, creating of yesteryear and bundle them into their own eemingly unending suffering on an aesthetic things". Next time you visit HMV, interesting and intelligent music, reminiscent insympathetic, ana possibly even be daring for once - just put Blur back on at of much o f the stuff on the Sabres of Paradise distinctive package- Grand Prix awaits your approval but believe me, you wan'tbe left in the inihterested audience remains to be seen. tea-time, that's all. compilation Deep Cuts. A good disc, g o buy 'low, about that pier—. pits. Sadie Whittaker Ben East Ben Blench David Hall M u s ic I B /17 Are new indie kids on the block, M A R IO N headed for bigger things or are they just be the latest in a by BEN EAST line of Smiths influenced shoe gazers? DAVID HALL BLACK GRAPE- Reverend Block Grape and DAVID O R A M are (Radioactive) Hallelujah! Manchester's maid for the job. coolest son is back, and on this "joyful and triumphant" form you 've got to hope that like Take That, Shaun Ryder is here for good this time. A superb, good times single with all the Ryder swagger and arrogance o f old. Reverend Black Grape is unashamedly Mondays- esque, but hey, the world wasn't the same without Bez looking stupid and useless on Top of the Pops, Praise the Lord, a Mancunian making a wonderful Second Coming. N o w there's a novelty— DODGY *- Staying out for the Summer '95 (A&M) Blatant "summer's here and...oh shit my ears are sunburnt" music from penmniatnearty-men Dodgy (who are polling high in the most unfortunate name in pop competition). A wonderful record for those among you who waste your life away in the sun at the Dry Dock, mocking the rest of us who are couped in our rooms being ndjwrable and wonying about exams. And 1 bet when it's all over and ! can relax, it'll be raining and "Staying Out tor die Summer" wiB be the most annoying song ever. Cm wd l. THERAPY?-Stories (A&M) Now, I don't mean to sound cynical, but aren't Therapy? the domainftnmflin ofnl spottysrwiHv XWnmf/buwngXWrnnof hnvino sfvrtisixth formers(nrmora rlnHdad inm nnnvarmy But chedcthis, hot only can “Stories’' rightly be as "a’a good song,"song.” but the bandpei are wearing frilly shirts wasn't it a risk? "Wfe w a e very aware of the dangers," and model a rami interesting line in facial hait Yes indeed, the replies Jamie, “but we think it paid off for us. w e were Tarantino disease has claimed another victim. Just pray it isn't Elton meeting Morrissey fans after the concert and they were John next We knew we were good and telling us that they were really impressed. 1 think we made we've worked hard to get were a lot of friends on that tour." KINGMAKER - In the best possible taste (Chrysalis) Marion have now been on the road constantly for nearly The cover of this single is taken up with breasts which I can twelve months. They’ve been to France and Belgium, we are unfortunately only describe as being, erm, massive. This is toured Britain cm the ’NM B Brat' dates and recorded sessions for Radio 1. You might have thought that such a when they toured with him recently "UHer bullshit" replies heavy workload would get tnem down. But, Harding copy, i Jamie; "w e got along really well with him, he just isn't the disagrees: "N o w e love it, every night on this tour has beer would buy this dodgy pub rock-iah anthem. person that people make him out to be." So how did the mad) it's what we've been wondng towards all o f our lives, IUdcy sods manage to wangle a support slot with the w e've had some great support slots, but now we're here on mighty Mozzer? We were playing fit the Dublin Castle in ELTON JOHN - Made in England (Mercury) our ow n tout it's a great buzz." A song with a title that die BNP would no doubt bepioud of, Camden and the first face we could see at the front was H ie future of Marion appears to be ixsy, and wHhJoe embarrassingly enough. Maybe though, on further inspection I Morrissey's. A t the end o f our set he just called us over and Moss at the helm future success looks guaranteed. They're w ould be maae aware of how richly multicultural and wonderful asked us if we would support him on his 'Boxers' four, it young, talented and great live performers- What more England truly is, Sadly, this patriotic VE day cash in nonsense is in was as simple as that* couldyou ask for? If you missed them first time round, fa c t tiie worst song I have heard in my entire life- It should also be Considering Morrissey's devoted audience, surely a there's a tour planned in September to ooindde with the pointed out that the "copyright in this sound recording is owned by support band is the last thing that people want to see, so release of their debut album. William. A* Bong," Erm, so you're still drug-free Elton,; right? ADAM ANT - Goto be a sin (EMI) Can you imagine Whigfieid coming bade in 10 years itiririe, proclaiming that she now wants to oe taken seriously ;is an his Is a gloriously confident, self- ortistt,,n? No, neither can I. Some have said that he was a major assured debut; I Should Coco is influence to Elastica, but tills doesn't follow - Elastica an? superb T simply brimming with cock-sure Album of the Week and "Prince Charming" is utter crap. So then*. swagger. Whereas many bands nowadays seem satisfied with DUB WAR - Strike it (Earache) achieving mediocrity; content to gamer Unfortunately, Dub War are signed to exactly the ra n t label > this no more man minor success, releasing gun drum roll into the screaming, tune Is highly reminiscent o f Rage Against the Machine at their a dutch of half-decent, critically- hands-aloft rollercoaster ride that is T d worst - hard, heavy and horrible. C^C sol. wasn't actually suffering acclaimed singles foDowed up by a Like to Know*, this album refuses to from earache three minutes after putting this record on, out that half-arsed debut album (witness' the slow down, let alone stop. may have been because Iliad already turned if off and was basking likes of Sleeper, Gene and Shed Seven), But this album really stands as a in suence. And It was lovely iC“ ~ ------— other luminaries Oasis reflection of the band themselves; on and Elastica, in displaying enough H future single "Alright*, Gaz cheekily MARY BEATS JANE - Grind (MCA) check, spunk and -let's face it-sheer drawls along toa; cheesy piano,'"We M akerio mistake, this rawks. You can almost see Beavis and talent to pull off a stunningly wake up, w e go ou t smoke a fag, put it Butthead, two fingers aloft shaking their heads m that puerile way impressive debut album. out, sleep around- if we like. 'Cos we're to ''Grind” . The record title sounds scary, as do the band. When Supergrass somewhat alright". It all sounds so easy, and innocuously emerged from the quiet Supergrass merely walk it like they talk MUDHONEY - Generation Spokesmodel (WEA) Oxfordshire suburbs late last yeac few it-songs about shaggin', shoutin' and The term "slacker" was invented to describe Mudhoney, and tnb would have realised they could have smokiri; brazenly assured and able to single does nothing new to dispel that fac^ifs pretty mudi blossomed quite so beautifully. It do no wrong. To aspire to such song- Mudhoney- by-numbers really. By now I'm sure you'll either adore seems hard to believe that their debut writing heijpits so early in their careens these archetypal grangers, in which case you'll love "Generation single "Caught by the Fuzz" was (and let's not forget their previous SpokesmodeT, or loatne them and would prefer1 listening to Elton released only six short months ago. incarnations T h e Jennifers*1) is a sign of John. In which case you are mad. crammed full of spiky guitar hooks unrelenting confidence. Assuredly and good-naturea vitriolic humour its simple, the bizarre "We're Not defiant punk vigour has already been unbelievably catchy; full o f infectious, THE HIGH LLAMAS - Checking in, Checking out Supposed To" is a sublime reminder of irresistible pop-hooks and divine, superseded by 7 Should Coco's new chuahood half-logic; all helium-voiced (Alpaca Parxj cheeky, witty lyrics. It's ridiculously After all the ruthless heavy guitar riffery available this week, this found rode awareness. If "Caught by chatter, Beach Boy harmonies and easy to fall in love with this album. offers a much calmer and mom pleasant outlook on life based the Fuzz" is a statement of Supergrass' acoustic guitars. G ive in, let yourself be caught. around banjos and cellos. Alright so it's perhaps a tittle twee, but recent past then this album has Tosound this assuredly simple is matured graciously; from the machine- nevertheless "Checking in, checking ou r is beautifully relaxed. certainly not easy- these songs are Steve Cooper UL w iew - Jv u iif 2 6 , 4 9 9 5 Travel 1 8 A letter from our correspondent Going S e u t c Tttacm tfrnd itt 'pio/teKce Florence, they say, ison the verge of surrendering to tourism. As in Venice, Down tourism brings in mare money than everything else put together. 'Everything else’ increasingly goes on everywhere, anyway, in tfie industrial suburbs wh idi make up Firenze Nuova (N ew Florence). But all year round, people com e in droves to the old centre, dash round the sights^ buy their scale models o f Michelangelo's "David" and their "Florence By Night** postcards and depart onto Rome, or Venice, or Naples or where ve tS o tne, however, do not leave. They are the 60 or Under so people wh o each summer fell victim id Australia a mysterious illness-tht tourist disease, TRAVEL Stendhal syndrome. Certainly ft's One o f the strangest afflictions to emerge recently, at first it had doctors puzzled. A few years ago, staff at Florence's Santa Maria Nuova Strewtf)! KATHY JACKSON went Hospital started to bring a steady stream o f middle aged tourists who haa walkabaout to see if there was more to Oz collapsed w nile sight-seeing. strange about that, you might think, than Neighbours, XXXX and Mel Gibson Florence In Summer is often almost unbearably hot and humid, so the odd unfortunate tourist collapsing from heat rits have taken to elusive seventeen million The dream of ‘the w orld in one continent.' exhaustion could be expected. B languishing on a sun- Where else could you find lush But these tourists were not just the national lottery pound prize are pretty rainforest unspoilt beaches fainting they were losing their memory, like a duck to water, remote. And even if one kissed beach with cold rugged, moody outback and They had no recollection o f who they and no wonder, with so of us did win a few quid beer on demand and your tropical islands in one country? were, or where they were, or how they had fiot there. Often this only lasted a many millions up for we’d probably only Blow ideal man by your siae is a An d o f course all the names mat pretty distant one conjure up the Australian dream* couple of weeks, but a few never grabs. But let's face it, the it on Seers down the Despair not! There is another Ayefs Rock* The Great Barrier properly recovered. Then the doctors started to look m ote closely at the chances of winning that w ay o f realising that dream and Reef, Tasmania, A lice Springs, Faversham. individual cases, and they made some gaininga certain amount of Kakado National Park, Dig odd discoveries. street cred at. the same time. Take strapping rugby players, see how a year ou t dig your ruck-sack easy it is to gel carried away! There w ere striking similarities out of the cupboard and buy Bv planning your trip well, it, between the cases which Were too great to be dismissed as coincidences. Firstly, yourself a tigcet to Australia. j is possible to turn vour year out they noticed that these people had, by the world's largest island, into-the 'trip o f a lifetime' by Australia is not short o f beaches, stopping on in different and. large, fainted in the same places: although the desision oh whidK countries both to and from either in the Uffbd art gallery, inside the cathedral, or m the Santa Croce church- ‘amber nectar’ to keep in the Auatralia. M y travels took me to that is to sav, three o f the main cultural Esky may proove to Be a tad the South Pacific, N ew Zealand difficult. and Aida, and at only the cost of Meccas of Florence. (Though they weren't the first to be affected in this way. The If you r impressions Of a fraction more than a basic disease, indeed, took its name from the Australia are based on return ticket Many companies Neighbours and Dame Edna offer stopovers at no extra cost at 19th century French-writer Stendhal, who Everage, then you're in for a .all 'Austravel' (who how have admitted to coming overall queer while leasant surprise. It is o an office on our doorstep in Wandering round Santa Croce. He real'htakfngly beautiful country, Leeds) are probably the best far survived to tell the tale, how evec) Secondly, and stranger still, it seemed full o f many contrasting features, overall value, not only because g o f their low-cost flights, but to be the same sort o f people who were and home to many wonders of collapsing. They were almost exclusively the world (not to mention Mel because of their experience, getpacking helpfulness and flexible tickets, female, aged between 50 and 60. and they Gibson.) And it is within your * w it h P a m m rc Tra\/al came either from the American Mid-Wen with Campus Travel teach] all o f which make for a hassle- or south west Australia-Darlenes and w e specialise in low cost travel for students end H aving recently spent a free adventure! Noelenes and Blanches on see-Europe-In- young people providing support In over glorious year Dow n Under, 1 can So, there you have it-instead of sitting in every Saturday night A-Week-style whistlestop tours. But why 150 offices throughout the world say. hand oh my heart that it Wul be one o f tne best things waiting for Anthea what's-her- did they cnoose to collapse in Florence? CO/WC RTN ro/WcRro* COW EflTN you'll ever do. Getting hold o f a fece to announce those elusive Why not Paris, or London, or Rome? Amsterdam ft 48 69 Delhi 210 300 Nairobi i 189 378 Working Holiday Visa allows the lottery numbers, then drowning There seemed to be only one Athens 70 129 Dublin 39 49 New York 82 183 traveller to work casually along your sorrows with a bottle of explanation for it: culture shock, quite Australia 276 662 Faro 69 139 Palma literally. The refined enjoyments for 69 139 the way- be it fruit picking, bar Newcastle Brown when six Bangkok 176 367 Hong Kong 211 419 Paris 30 68 work or pool attendant- and it completely different numbers which the dty is famed mightnot Beijing 179 369 Ibiza* 76 149 Prague 69 109 allows an insight for us 'poms' appear on the screen, start immediately strike one as particularly Cairo 124 210 Jo'burg 266 462 Tenants 88 168 dangerous, but when you've come from a Caracas 216 429 LA/San.Fran. 132 266 Toronto on the Australian w a y or life. It planning your trip Down Under 104 214 for an experience you w ill truly lace where, in all fairness, there's very Corfu 90 169 Mexico 136 270 Vancouver 138 282 w ill sudenlv dawn on you that never forget By the way, 1 never ttle except for miles and miles of plain, OMMuma Norm* the blokes aon't all wear big hats with corks on and sheer sheep did see Mel Gibson, but those Ethe od d shopping mall and the occasional and the women aren't all called rugby players;.,. dingo, a place like Florence, w h id i probably has more ’culture’ to the square H. mwauwi ft d N 1 Kylie or Sheila. Instead you'll be Flights to Sydney In Australia From experiencing the delights of the inch than almost anywhere on Earth, is =Wfy iWtfrtVrrt|| m m Letters from London Julian Barnes Picador - CB.99 Sweel AI s the London correspondent |(or the New Yorker between A_ J l9 9 0 and 1996, Julian Barnes explained to the Americans the Irvine Welsh bissarre ways o f the English end their institutions like Lloyds and the royal family and letters from ILondon collects the best o f mesc essays together. In this way, I Question: Does English Literature need a kick Bames gets paid at least twice; up the arse? once far explaining to the Answer: Err... who cares? Americans about the weird limeys, and then again by I Response: Wed, it's got one anyway. Flogging it back to the credulous Britsas a new perspective on Old rvine Welsh’s debut novel was The first thing that Blighty. But then again, as called lyaiitspottirig. Ironic title. It’s strikes you about llohnsori said, " N o man but al not about chuff-chuffs. It's about Welsh's books is that I blockhead ever wrote, except tor being on heroin when your friends they're written in a money," and Julian Bames is I humourous bu t certainly no blockhead. are dying, from ADDS because impenetrable (for a | Serene of the pieces, particularly they've been sharing needles and the southener) dialect the extended essay on the am next door's baby dies and no one vernacular. Football gjves a shit. Thaven t laughed so troubles o f Lloyds of London, are becomesfilba, cash/mrys both well researched and much in ages. No, really. and lads wide-m. intelligent while others such as His new novel is about child "James Kebnan abuse and kicking the crap out of the essays on Margaret Thatcher writes about the political people who enjoy going to the match and John M ajor m ay seem a little intent behind the use of on Saturdays and what goes through [dated and patronising to the dialect but to me it was ■English reader, written as they your head after you’ve raped much more pragmatic. I somebody and men watched her Iwere with the American in mina. started to write in hounded out of court because she's a [it is hard to fault Barnes' style; his standard English, but 1 slut anyway and wore short skirts phrasing is instinctively right just th ou ght! cannae and flirted with boys. and he is intensely aw are o f the see these characters You know English literature? The potentialities of language. I talking like dtis, so 1 classics you read at school - all lesitate to w rite English' went to the other language, because Bames pndes written between 40 and 3,000 years extreme. It's important ago. Irvine Welsh's books aren't [himself on tx£ng eminently not to be too self- d a s s ^ they're a hell of a lot more I translatable. There ley however, conscious about it, the I something quintessential!} important than that, dealing with the language should be tilings that make our country the English about Barnes, possibly there to support what holeitis today, and will stay so until something to d o w ith the way in you're trying to achieve." someone does something to change Hip counter-culture writer Irvins Welsh look time out from which his prose Is so carefully It's actually quite (w rou ght so dear as to be almost It. Like, say, dropping a bomb on ft. refreshing to hear this Welsh mav look like he d sooner his latest round-Britain trip to talk to us. transparent Barnes has a surenews Jnuf you than sell voU a book, but he's man talk about writing, just being cute. Media image. Shock of touch which makes you feel I w h o openly admits that JONATHAN GIBBS slipped on his anorak and talked to that there is no. possible value His voice is quiet and lilting ifTrainsputtmg hadn't the man behind Trainspotting. expression to use other man the Soots and sounds like it’s never been taken off in the way it raised above a whisper. Shame, I’d one he uses, and every so often | did, he'd still be a Will season the mixture with a kind o f expected the author of the1 Welsh admits that it's not easy business consultant. ust a jump from this to tiie UK knowing little literary flourish, most tn yerface book since Naked writing about the dubbing, despite "Most ol die narrative voices in Club scene: 1 got into it about a Isuch as, when talking of Fleet Lunch, to be a bit more aggressive. namecneddng Paolo Hewitt's literature are white middle class year after A d a House started, [Street while "extra marital or| But no, he answered all my questions J Harnett's Promise an "the definitive voices and, whether they're in the around'89.1 resisted it at first 1 otherwise non-conformist sex. politely, and then went on to give a novel about the A d d House culture. country like Joanna Trollope or because I though it was completely not in itself enough to bum a spirited reading to a packed "You can say, I went to Bock To slumming it in the streets like M&ftm soulless, but obviously when you get minister at the stakes it makes Manchester Waterstones, revelling in Basics in Leeds and Dave Morales Amis? it's the same kind of voice. If | into die actual culture you find: that excellent kindling." his comedy accents and laughing played a really good set but you can someone who comes from the that's not the case at all.'1 Welsh's next nfortunately, these elegant along with the crowd. only do that so many times* Whereas m iddle class world sees drugs and project is a collection of 'chemical little turiis are n o t as istarted writing in about 1990, you can reference James Bond lyrics depravity as glamourous, then that's romance' novellas about this very common as they are in his mostly as a way of combating fair enough. It's like saying that if it supports the material • it's too U stibiect fiction, and at times’ the regular boredom.edom. I was going across th.the | easy to just bung in the odd reference someone who comes from a Glasgow T m interested in the idea of clarity of his style leans towards States in a Greyhound,jreyhouna. which 1 just for the sake of being hip.” housing scheme ought read Amis people getting E'd up and telling soullessness, with even a touch o f thought would be an exciting and A s well as the novels, and :77je and get off on the idea of... I don't everyone How much they love mem: the old maid in Hs fastidiousness. glamourous thing to do, but you'r Add House, a set of stories (being know, writers playing snooker with how much they ow n these feelings, Comparisons with Martin stuck on this freeway and it's totally adapted for C4), a film of each other. Fine." how much is it part of them and now Am is are inevitable. Am is' style Is tedious, so I started writing these 7htmspoiting will be out next yeat much part of the chemicals." to place him self confidently at the scenarios. When 1 got back to from those fine Shallow Grave people. centre of every Interview, so that Scotland, I wantea to investigate the Soccer violence and drug taking are unremarkable, everything is reported back with culture a bit to try and understand His new book, MaribouStork his characteristic spin on i t the die desolation of the place Td grown mainstream things for a lot of people. There were riots at Nightmares is published by Jonathan everts bent to his image. Bames is up in." Cape, priced £9S9 Rangers and Celtic games before the turn of the century far m ore circumspect, loitering rather embarrassed al the edge ol the writing, like a minor relative The Last ot Deeds/ Love in History caught by a cadent in the FICTION Eoin McNamee background of a wedding photo, Picador-£5.99 trying to shuffle nervously out of the frame. Amis shares a who suspect him o f collaboration with their Emergency', yet Over the border the British limousine with John Travolta, and he two novellas which comprise this volume finds himself too famous address the common subject of passion across sectarian enemies. section was suffering from similar German attacks to the mainland. Like the first story. Love interview Madonna: Bames boundaries. Literature continually reminds us The catalogue of cruel and often gratuitous T m History is a perceptive portrayal o f the shares a sandwich lunch w ith the that such passion is likely to result in tragedy. deaths reads like one o f Iain Banks's tomes, underside of life but the writing, here, more ever fragrant Mary Archer and The Lost of Deeds is a brutal story of adolescence although McNamee's vivid descriptions recoil dosely resembles the delicate cut-glass prose of admits to feeling intimidated. in an unnamed northern Irish fishing village in from the glorification implicit' in Banks's writing. Julian Barnes (although not quite.) These pieces would have recent (but pre-ceasefire) times. The narrator also This is the realistic low-Ufe of people without he protagonist. Sergeant Gabriel Cooper is an certainly been worth the cover unnamed, is a Catholic wh o engages in a furtive evident prospects m an environment where American airman stationed in Belfast. H e rice of the New Yorker when relationship with *Shazz the R a zz, a dyed-in-the- vicious belligerence has become the norm. The regards the city with a sense of wonder, tey were first published, but the wool Protestant dow n to the Union Jack tattooed Scout', an odious; perverted character complete T witnessing a community which is at war with recycled versions have lost the on her arm. The Montagues and Capulets seem witha limp and a paralysed arm, suddenly f itself, whose enmity towards the Germans is an lustre o f topicality, arid Bames' compatible by comparison. appears in scenes like an angel of death. His afterthought. The main conflict here, arises from prose is not quite lively enough to ret this is np love story; the couple's liaisons presence throughout die book is never dearly the Reverend William Moms, whose enemies are sustain interest in events which among the bleak town's empty buildings serve explained but it adds to the increasingly the Pope and his followers. This novella are n o w greying into history- So only as brief relief to the backdrop o f Violence disturbing mood fuelled by the harsh prose. eluddates the preoccupation of the local people unless you have been living in a which pervades the story. In fact, these stark, The second, shorter novella is quite different w ith a dispute which, tor the British, played cave for the last fiv e years and loveless encounters generate even m ore violence. putting paid to any doubts regarding the author's second fiddle to the fear of domination by the need a finely written primer on The narrator is beaten up by a gang of Protestant versatility. Ironically, Low in History, set in the Nazis, In spite of their gloomy context these m odem English history, this is boys led by the virious Glennon. "Keep your Second World War, is much less violent than the stories are quite entertaining and reveal acute likely to be of cursory interest hands off her; Taig bastard" they shout at his preceding story and provides an incisive portrait insights into a nation permanently in distress. only. supine form after Kicking him until his bones o f the position o f Ireland at this time. The neutral crack. He is also distrusted by his ow n friends Republic has always referred to this war as 'the Matthew Lewis Steve Ranger 20 I BBIM STUDENT Friday May 26.1995 Cutggmg P.G- Quite (rankly yon are an would like to take this union shop. You have the Conventional wisdom says 33-1 luv you all Personals are free. important man-like arse. opportunity to say that be most incredible eyes and 1 Gazza will reign supreme at C O M P U T E R S S T IL L Love everybody who's played owes me a birthday present really want to see you again. Rangers. Those in the know F O R SA L E . C A L L IN T O Classified advertising racket sports with you this from last year. Gftl Please call me on 2314 254. say he'D be shite. T H E LE E D S S T U D E N T term. “ Goldcn Brown. texture like Love Robina. To whoever found my wallet O F F IC E A T T H E M E T costs ten pence per and handed it in to the.porters - WANTED-Two new house styh" AND PICK UP YOUR Free the Brookslde Two. Sonal. Jo and Sarab-Love from thanx, you saved my life. word. To place a males. Must be able to play V E R Y O W N A M S T R A D FIFA *95 better than ray present Anna Friel we love you. the 4th Bitch. Chris, did you Joy, you're a joy. PCW 8256 F O R O N L Y personal ad, call ones can. Applications to Geog. Dave and Phil. find your sausage? They fuck you up, your mum Dept. Matt, ’I’ ll meet you outside Mickey, you're lovely but and dad £35. R IN G 0113 2434727 243 4727 anytime. Okey-cokey boys and girls, Sonal, Jo and Sarah-Love Waterstone's. Sony about last your socks smell o f poo. They do not mean to but they this is issue 24 and only 3 There* more to life than money from the 4th Bitch. Chris, did week. Friends? Jentu. S.C. - Here's to a dirty weekend db more to go! (O r possibly 2, ie: nurses, teachers...or is (here? you And your sausage? Two more weeks and I’m together. Bring your new Sexual intercourse began in I'm not sure yet.) To the team, I'll push you off the cliffs rock Miles and Phil: This is the easy outta here. No more exams, toys!!! 1963 between something and thankyouthankyouthankyou, climbing If it all gets too much. life IttI no more essays, no more. AH Rednex cd for sale. Only £10 - the B eatW first album you're all super, and far too Love to you FLETCHER. Big shout to the Chapel town at No. 45, you're the best, This Is a reluctant sale as I (And it ended in 1995 between Hi Scott, give me a ring!-J posse especially Jackie who though we never did find out need the money. Must go to a the Anthropology and Ancient numerous to name individually. Goodman for the Lisa and Ion sitting in a does it for drugs!! who owned that novelty good, caring owner, who win History sections downstairs m star effort Gibbs tip top tree.....—, Mez, Love TW O see From Chicken Italia to sheep, did we Graham. get many hours of happy the Brotherton) you? Becci. Will you be my BO Lasagne. Pizza de Vege to Suzzanna, I've always bad a listening. Tel Dick: 28127 365 Reg, we know all about your feature. Marky - you're great peep? Aubergine Faricite, also three crush on you, though you’d Big shout to Andy who nocturnal activity. We know and the paper would fall Louise is nearly old and past course set meal £5.99 probably knew that already. engineered Out to Lunch. you; think we don’ t know, but apart without you. Kate Toon It!! Louise-get ready for a something for every one. Eat Roll on the brave new world. You're great and we love you we do, oh yes.™ come back! Mog super, smashing lovely great. Smith buzz on v.our B'day. 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I'm sick of looking at this damn Sara M, You must be bored of bistro) left you. How do you feel, much can be dangerous, as Wolves will be back fighting off all these men. Loncli Pasta o f the day £3.95 when you're sat at the wheel of you well now. But the Gunners will be first. screen so I'm not going to Come and live with me...... Oh Strawberry fields bistro your Mum's fiesta. Scan - you're my life, my heart, El Presidente - see you in write any more. yeah you all ready are. I love you and you're right • Indie Hannah Jones and the my hope. Let's spend the night court? I guess by now we’ ll that’s alovely surprise-my Crusaders of the last PauL together.. .NOW!!! I know. favourite colour is red. Joel Veitch, Get a haircut-Oh BIO-STYLIE BIO-STYLIE Barbie You are the love of my and thank& for the skol. life and I want to be with you I like driving in my car. Body Piercing Body Piercing always. Please tell me whar my Forget graduation balls. ^ L E E D S H I Birthday surprise is - 1 cannot Heather. I've got some of my Specialist Specialist wail. MiniCiab.Ken own that are well worth When a man loves a woman, dressing up for... S t u d e n T can't keep his mind on Bella Em berg, that's your Sterile conditions Sterile conditions nothing else... ain’ t that right mum that is. Surgical grade Paul. Why oh why oh why. Surgical grade DIY OFFICE ROMANCE KIT See that Harry Seycombe, Next week, commissioning will hike steel Their eyes met across a smoke- that's your twin brothe that steel filled office. She was a la. place at the normal times, but owing to Well priced beautiful XXXX, he was a Little Richard. On your the unions being shut, the meetings will Well priced handsome XXXX. (change to birthday night, don’t go after Friendly & relaxing Friendly & relaxing appropriate job descriptions.) any long tall Sallys, or good be held in the Dry Dock pub over the Hours o f fun guaranteed, one mate Lesleys for that matter. Ha road, which should be nice. way or another. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Contact Doug: Contact Doug: Richie Coope is twenty-one Laughed? I nearly died. 0831 360 214 years old on Saturday and I To Garth, who I met in the 0831 360 214 UNIVERSITY OF LEEDS LOOKING FOR ACCOMMODATION FOR THE 1995/96 SESSION? THERE ARE A LIMITED NUMBER OF PLA CES AVAILABLE FOR RETURNING STUDENTS IN THE OFF-CAMPUS SELF CATERING FLATS (E.G. LUPTON, BODINGTON, NORTH HILL, OXLEY AND SENTINEL TOWERS) APPLICATION FORMS ARE AVAILABLE FROM THE STUDENT ACCOMMODATION OFFICE, ROOM G.05, THE REFECTORY BUILDING (ADJACENT TO THE STUDENTS UNION). S port LEEDS STUDENT Friday May 26.1999 The Leeds Celtics restored their position as one o f the UK's Rentier student American ;ootball teams in theetaht-arside Renny Jones Memorial Gup>; which was staged in memory of one o f Leeds former coaches STEVE Harrison Is a man with a mission: to throw his way into the who tragically died recently. World Student Gam es, which take place in Japan this August. Leeds qualified for the final Last week, the LMU student followed up hi* javelin gold medal triumph in ihe British against Loughborough by Student Games by winning the Yorkshire County Championships at Sheffield Don Valley defeating all four o f their group Eastern promise Stadium with a throw o f 71.72 metres. [rivals. And although Harrison u quick to point out. that he faced precious little competition in the A fine touchdown by.Owen county contest; his achievements over the r ensured that Leeds were level last two years: suggest that he has every By JON BROPION with Loughborough at half time, chance o f making the cut for Japan. but Loughborough look the lead By the end o f last season. Harrison had be two. but H may only be one.* early in me second half and Leeds thrown for the England under-23 team in an Harrison will' have tan Work cut out if never recovered, as their legs international against Australia, was ranked only one thrower is selected, but he Is quietly tired in (he dosing stages. second nationally at under-23 level, and confident o f making the cut. ninth Hi senior competition. T h e recommended qualifying distance is Bur even this is. not the full extent o f his 78 metres/ he said, "and i f I throw that I Caught out should be guaranteed o fa place. achievements in 1994. Harrison also won the LMU*s first XI cricket team ‘ But to be honest, thai distance is a bit Belgian National Championships and was suffered a shock home defeat by silly r it would have won the entire selected to represent the British Students Newcastle m the fintt round of the competition last time around, and 75 metres teiam in the annual England'Lou^hborough- BUS A knock-out competition on British Students competition at w ill probably be sufficient to get a place in the top six. | Sunday. Loughborough University. | Leeds made a disappointing He will be competing in the same event 170, with Dickon White (38) and next week. And If the absence o f Mick Hills ■ •if t qualify. I should definitely get into Mark Vincent (30 not otlt) the one o f the world's top six javelin throwers - the final, and maybe into the top five.* only to etydy success from the Yorkshire Championships mode Looking even further into the future. with the bat. Newcastle won with Harrison's victory relatively straightforward, Harrison has set his sights on the Olympics. four wickets to spurc. the competition at Loughborough is certain Since javelin throwers tend not to peak until LMU’s Simon Holly head said: to be considerably tougher. the age o f 27. Harrison's best years are "Nothing went right for us - I World-famous Steve Backley may even almost certainly ahead o f him. don't think any one of their compete. He qualifies for the event as a “If I throw 77 or 78 metres within the next players would have got in our former Loughborough student. couple o f years 1 could reach the Olympic lade." 6*4*, IS'stone Harrison, who currently qualifying distance o f 80 metres," he said. throws for Yorkshire, w ill also compete in "I'm strong enough to be able to make it. the Southern Championships, the England but strength is not the be all and end all of What a Yorker A A A Championships and the British javelin throwing. The main concern is Championships in the lead-up to the World whether my technique is up to scratch. latoy into the last lli o f the Student Games. But before dreaming o f an Olynmic gold. BU5A championships was Qualifying for Japan remains his. ultimate Harrison has qualification for Japan to assured for LUU's women ambition. "They haven't announced exactly concentrate on. {cricketers with an emphatic how many javelin throwers will! be sent to If he makes that, he might just be in the victory over York: Japan.* Harrison explained. "It will probably throes o f something really .big. Leeds dismissed York for 39. and captain Pallavi Joshi and Helen Wright needed just six overs to reach their target. Leeds University Union Print Shop Open 9.15am - 430pm Monday to Friday 4p per A 4 copy - self service new coin operated machines mean less wait, cheaper one off copies and no fuss with cards. 2.5p per copy for 1000+ A 4 copies new pricing for bulk copying means the more you do the cheaper it gets. Take a look at our all new price list - ask to see one today. Don't forget we still do T-shirt printing, full colour copying, and are the only place where you can pick up past exam papers (9.30 - 4 .0 0 only). Leeds University Union run by students for students 22 Leeds stud ent ua%y M*y 16. i« 5 S pout O LOCK OF OUR PAUL GOLDSMITH CATCHES UP WITH A STUDENT MAKING BIG STRIDES TOWARDS STARDOM WORLD Cup started I yesterday. England are playing i their first game tomorrow at 4pm. One LUU student will settle d ow n to watch knowing (hat come the next World Cup, we could well be watching him. I For second year music student Alistair I Bailey, the sky ’s the limit, and at 6'8* he's got a pretty good head start on on most of us, "Big At*, as he is affectionately known, it already in Courage League Division Two club I Wakefield's second row. He has represented I England at various levels and, for good measure, I w ifi be playing for Eastwood rugby club in Sydney, Australia And they weren't the only side limit." he rem SscesW istM ty’k m ? 'hot up alarmingly at 14. and by the tune I was lo t was 6'4* and in the second row for the Eastern Counties rugby team.* School was Campion, in Essex, a prominent and successful rugby-playing institution. *1 never 1 THE TALL GUY: Bailey uses his height to good effect as he soars to take a catch while playing for Hunters Hill against St Ives in Sydney, Australia, last year took rugby seriously until my lower sixth year,* j Bailey recalls. T h e shot putt was my speciality, but then a rugby tour to Canada changed my I | sporting allegiance.* Bailey continued to grow, and left school at 6*6". having already nude the England schools squad. He spent his year-off concentrating an rugby and growing. By the time he arrival at Leeds University he was 6'8*. playing lor ' London-based Saracens and England Colts. But commuting to London whilst at Leeds Special promotion became too much, and after spuming an offer from First Division Orrell. Bailey signed for By PAUL RICHARDSON combination o f a ground so Wakefield last January. dilapidated it wouldnt look out T H E R E was a time when the WHAT UPS AND place on the Gaza Strip, and a; Ambition F.A. Cup Final provided the Chairman reportedly worth £145 That's not to say he lacked ambition. He I fitting Wembley showpiece million pounds who refuses to simply felt *1 had more chance of learning at DOWNS DO THE PLAY- follow the example o f Jack Walker's to conclude the domestic Wakefield where 1 had better opportunities for j football season. huge investment at Blackburn Rovers. He bos described such an first team rugby.* Not so nowadays however, for OFFS HOLD IN STORE? Having completed the mandatory registration outlay as "vulgar*. over the last eight seasons we have reeling after Walsall snatched their period for Wakefield (playing for three months in mote recent years. Bolton played at Wembley in become increasingly accustomed to automatic promotion place in the Iasi It would appear that people are March, when they lost the Coca-Cola with a broken wrist because *it didn't feel too the white knuckle rollercoaster ride week of the season. getting used to the play-offs, in the Cup Final to Liverpool. They have serious*), he is now a regular part of their semp, | o f a finale providod by the First. Oh Sunday, Bristol Roven face same way that they accept that well-known international players and also represents the Northern division under- Second and Third Division play-offs. Huddersfield Town for the right to Coventry City never get relegated such as John McGinlay and Jason 21 s. Bailey intends to stay in Leeds to do a PGCE Whilst there is mote glamour and that Alex Ferguson never admits play in the Fust Division. Rovers course and cany on playing for Wakefield. McAteec and will probably be most attached to the Cup Final, there is a deserved defeat when Manchester didn't appear in the play-off frame Then there's Australia. Bailey played for people’s favourites. However, their undoubtedly more at stake for the United occasionally lose. until late, and it would be ironic if Hunters Hill in the Australian Second Division teams and their supporters involved midfield will be lacking the Teams definitely appeared to be they swapped divisions With their aggressive Dutchman Richard last summer through a link at Saracens. While he | fit the play-offs. consciously playing with a view to bitter local rivals - the relegated Sneekes and the industrious Mark was there he aroused the attention o f numerous For after up to 46 league games, the play-offs this season. This was Bristol City. However, despite Patterson, both of whom are injured. First Division teams. four of the top teams in each indicated throughout, as sides Huddersfield's form slipping in the More importantly. their supenative 'Sydney University. Gordon, Waringa and division have to endure the agony of packed very closely in and around latter weeks o f die season, their Eastwood expressed interest." he recalls. *1 centre-half Alan Stubbs - who is a two-legged semi-final and a manager Neil Wamock has valuable finally chose Eastwood, who called me in the prospective play-off places. considered by former top manager Wembley finaL to decide the (Carlisle were the catly runaway experience o f two consecutive play- December and offered to pay my navel and ! Tbmmy Docherty to be better than promotion they have been aiming at leaders, in Division Three). It is off successes from his Notts County Gaty Pallister - was stretchered off in living expenses. Tb make things even easier, they since August. likely that the play-off finals this days. Furthermore, in their robust 28 the scmi-firud. Whether or not he organised a job for me." Much has been said about the goal centre-forward Andy Booth weekend will be equally as tight. recovers in time for Monday could So. on June 13th, Al Bailey will travel to injustice of the playoffs. Many (recenUy linked with a move to Sydney to play a season in the company o f such be vital to ibe end result. consider it unfair that a team can Impressive Crystal Palace). Huddersfield have a Despite the pedigree o f their luminaries as David Campese and Tony Daley, finish with half-a-dozen or so points striker well capable o f destroying Saturday's Division Three play* players, Bolton lack the settled side who both play for rival club. Randwjck. more than another side over the their West Country opponents. o ff final involves two teams wlio which Reading have; and are What's so special about Al Bailey? Why has Season, only to be denied promotion Finally. Bank Holiday Monday hove never previously played at carrying the weight o f expectation he been headhunted like tftis? He has no doubts , m what is tantamount to a cup tie. sees Reading play Bolton Wanderers Wembley - Chesterfield and Bury. which the Reading players don’t where his own strengths lie: *1 play number two The misery inflicted upon the for the chance to enter die rich man's Bury won both legs o f their semi have to bear. in the lineout.* he explains, 'and my size (18 likes of Oldham Athletic and club which is the Carling finals against Preston North End. and Although it would make sense for stone) is a great help there, where establishing Portsmouth under this system has Premiership. Unfashionable Reading can boast a goalkeeper in Gary Kelly Bolton to be in the Premiership, it physical superiority is the key. been well documented. However, were promoted to Division One only who has kept an impressive 24 clean would be mildly amusing and "My scrummaging^ rucking and mauling and nor so much has been made o f the last season and have confounded sheets this season. Bury must just be refreshing if the boys from Berkshire general tight play is pretty good, I can use my i similar plight which Mill wall. Derby many sceptics by finishing runners- favourites to beat Chesterfield, still gatecrashed the party. natural advantages to the fullest in set piece County and Brentford have suffered up. They are a dub with the unique LEEDS STUDENT Friday May >*,. iW S port THERE are few sports which span the whole academ ic year, but rowing Is one of the rare exceptions. With both a winter and summer season, rowing is owr of the most demanding and gruelling sports on the academic calendar. Who can forget the agony on the Oxford-Cambridge rowers! faces during their televised encounter last April which exemplified the toughness o f the sport? During the winter rowers take pan in Head races, against the clock over distances o f between two and four miles, whilst in (he summer they compete side by side with other crew By CHRIS CLEGG | in very competitive regattas. "V I So what does it take to join rowing to dominate your lite- the kings and queens o f For many it is an addiction. Stamina at I-UU? M U - Is hardly surprising, The 80 rowers have to therefore, that the club have endure two vigorous training enjoyed some excellent results sessions a week, consisting o f this.season. lengthy runs and timed ciivuH The women's team clinched training. wins ui York. Middle England, if you weren't fit before whilst the men's team added joining the dub. then you will York. Rutherford. Newark and be after a few workouts with Trent victories, io theiz these guys. In fact several ] collection. members o f the club have no H ow ever the women's team intention o f rowing but use tho is stunt o f one vital ingredient club to simply keep fit. - they urgently need some cox. However the physical This is not a desperate sexual aspect is not what makes a cry from the female section of good rower. Women's captain the d u b bur a. legitimate REACHING OUT: Ballay, In action lot England Cola. Ha hopes to make Ms mark With aa a full England International In tha naar (ultua Samantha Fox explains: Sure demand for vital teai^. it helps, but the key to rowing members. give an opinion on nigby matters. But he finds is the mental stamina. Rowing "W e need tittle people," situations. returned earlier from Australia last mmimn. it just as hard as most to pick the likely World is very demanding mentally cries du b member Amelior Asked whether his style was comparable to I'm sure he would have been in the under-21 Behn. For the ignorant squad,* he explains "Unfortunately, these Cup winners. and requires quite a lot o f any current international player, he thinks for a commitment. Sometimes you amongst us, the cox is a vital representative squads are picked very early in England, i f they fire on all cylinders and while and then coyly offers the name "Martin feel you just cant go on but crew member despite not the season.* maintain concentration, have the best all round Johnson*, the current England second tow. you've just got to overcome actually rowing. Bailey may yet change nationality. Having game, but Australia are the team to beat,* he Jim Caulsen, secretary at Wakefield, the mental barriers and stay A cox not only helps steer played two full seasons in Australia, be is says.. agrees. "Martin Johnson, that’s who Fd motivated." the boat but is crucial to the compare him to.* he says. *He has great eligible to play for the Australian team next Behind these two come South Africa (who *wiU give everyone a run for their money on timing and motivation o f team physical size, and uses it to the fullest. His Commitment members. They are integral to line-out play is superb, and be definitely Bur Chaplin regards such a scenario as home turf, but are too erratic*), and New Tgalgnd (who "have got the easier run-in. but There is considerable truth removing the mental barriers knows how to put himself about.* unlikely. T il tell you what." he says, "he'll be in this, especially during the o f exhaustion which every Caulsen is readily prepared to wax lyrical welcomed with open arms here, but I don't lack star quality”). Despite this bout o f serial fence-sitting. winter season. Training in the crew encounters. about a player be insists we will be "seeing a think he'll need to do that - hell be playing for Bailey is more forthright in bis assessment o f cold and wet weather takes a T h e women's team are hell of a lot more of." England soon*. ______lot o f commitment, but the short o f coxes simply because "Most importantly, Alistair is prepared to die treatment meted out to Will Carling, who was sacked as England captain after calling the benefits tend to filter through they have all strangely work hard, he wants to improve, and so long as RFU committee "57 old farts." into the wanner summer defected to the men's team. he keeps working, he will improve,* he I want to be So if your short, light as a, explains. *It's quite an achievement at 20 years T h e y were wrong to sack him." he months. Fox was quick to point out feather, and like the idea o f old to be playing in the Courage League stresses. "1 can understand why be said what remembered as an he said, and quite frankly they proved his point that rowing wasn’t just hard being a rower without the Second Division. We've got that lad down to by reinstating him and thus undermining their work. "Ok, we train hard but torture o f exercise, then achieve a wholelot more.* we play hard too," she says coxing is for you. Bur just why were Eastwood in Australia international rugby own authority.* Bailey then pauses, before suggesting jokingly. "When you join the A ll that's needed is a strong prepared to commit themselves and a not voice to give the crew a good inconsiderable amount o f expenses for Bailey. *maybe it was ull a cunning plan, to get rugtoy club you get put into a crew star, not a bit-part onto the sports pages, the country behind the which is a great way o f roasting when they decide to Was it because they needed a second tow, England tcam, and the team behind Carling,r making good friends. Being veer off course. perhaps? Eastwood coach Michael Chaplin that was the case, it worked wonderfully." part o f a team is immensely The Leeds public get a rare seems almost offended. ______player______After Bailey had managed to extract his rewarding and well worth the chance To sample the ’ We didn't need a second row. we wanted tongue from its position firmly behind his University team in action on Alistair Bailey." he insists. "He was effort,1' cheek, he named some players for the future Subsequently, the rowing Saturday 24tb June when they completely wasting his time in the Second Bailey has already considered these stage their annual regatta St club is as much a social club Division, Someone o f his ability should be in options. "Ideally. I’d tike to play for England,* England team, at World Cup 1999. ''Welt, Simon Show (Bristol, second row). os a sports club, with parries Roundhay Park. the Pint Division/) he admits. "But I have to look at the options. If Tony Diprose and Richard Hill (Saracens, nearly every week and annual Since the teams normally Chaplin even compares Bailey to Warwick I had an offer o f international rugby. I would row In York this is a rare back row£ Tim Stimpson (West Hartlepool, balls and dinner dances. Waugh, an Australian World Cun second row. consider it very seriously. 1 want to be opportunity to enjoy a day's full back). Nick Greensutck and Mark Denney With mottos such as 'the Not Just compare, mind, out compare remembered axon international rugby star, not Leeds while (Wasps; and Bristol, centres), and 1 truly harder we stroke the harder we rowing favourably. *1 can't for the life o f me a bit-part player like, say, Steve Ojomoh.* believe that Austin Healy (LM U and Orrell. come', it is not hard to see why endulging in the flowing beer understand why this lad isn't at least in the Australian rugby suits him better, as and mountains o f food which winger) will make it all the way*. the club has become: such nz: England undcr-21 team.* he says. " I f you "second rows there aren't generally big built, What about Alistair Bailey's England integrated and. popular social are available. Poms have got better players than him in that but tall and lanky, s o l suppose I can bring an Such an fostivalr&ke hopes? 'Well. if I keep on improving at the rate I unit- age group then us Anssies better start extra dimension to their game. Here, big spectacle is a perfect way to I have been, if$ a possibility, and something f However, with two training worrying. second rows are a dime a dozen: There, end a successful year for the aim to achieve/ be says. sessions and up to three races Caulsen knows exactly why Bailey did not perhaps. I'm a bit of a novelty." rowing ctob-.■1» 1 Watch this (tathpr uu^e) sp&oc. . is. week, it is quite, easy for; make the England side. "If Alistair had Bailey is in a better position than meet to By Jon Brodkin MICHAEL Parsons is bracing himself to play for England in one of lacrosse’s most prestigious events. The second year Computer Studies student at LU U was selected last week for the national team, and w ill travel to the Czech Republic at the beginning o f July fo r the Lacrosse European Championships. Parsons broke into the England squad at the end o f last year’s World Series, but this provides his; first opportunity PARSONS SELECTED compete in an international competition. FOR PRAGUE V He was elated lo have received the news o f bis CHAMPIONSHIPS selection. "I'm realty looking forward playing and training four or to playing,'’ he said, five days a week For a year.” "particularly as I believe that Parsons explained. we have a very good chance of Their decision has opened winning the championships.” the way for Parsons, and The six-nation event, which several other promising is being held in Prague Grom youngsters, to establish July 2*9. involves England. themselves on the international Scotland, Wales. Sweden, circuit. Germany, and the Czech Parsons, who plays club Republic. lacrosse for Cheshire-based England have been drawn TSmperiey rather than LUU in a group with Sweden and because the standard there is Wales, and ate widely expected bigher, has seized at his qualify for the knock-out opportunity. stages and take the trophy. In January, he played for “We are the unofficial England in a fixture against an favourites,'' Parsons confessed. All Stars team which civ LAN ‘1 can’t really see us not comprised the best players winning, but nothing is from the World Series. And definite. ** now he is gearing himself up Parsons’ confidence stems for a long international career. from the success which “The coaches are building a England enjoyed in the 1994 squad for the 1998 World World Series. Series," be explained, “and if They were the only things continue in the same •European team who looked vein I should be part o f the capable o f defeating the starting line-up." world’s best lacrosse nations - Parsons is the only student namely the United States. selected by England, but four Canada and Japan. other LUU students will also And they finished a be travelling to Prague for the respectable fourth, well ahead competition. o f their opponents in July’s Mike Brooks, Shiraz Habib, European event. Dan Phyuel and Mark Boyle The demands which are all part o f the English competing in the Wodd Series Universities team which will placed on England's amateur provide warm-up matches for players meant that many o f the die national Sides. experienced members o f the Brooks played for the squad have opted out of Universities team last year, but international competition this the other three are new season. additions to the squad, having "Several o f them decided impressed the selectors in a that they needed a break after series o f trial matches. IMMIGRATION TO England take C anada the Michael Worried about the future? Think Canada! If you are a graduate with some work experience in your field of T H E RUGBY season in York, LUU qualified for the spring. They were unable to defend came to Its conclusion semi-final by finishing top of their the trophy because the competition qualification you may be eligible for last week when LUU group, beating Northern 35-5, was not staged this year. PERMANENT RESIDENCE IN Sevens celebrated a sevens West Riding second X V 30-14, The sevens results certainly bode well for next season. All the competition victory and and Morley 45-0. CANADA West Riding first X V proved players who took part will be two runners-up spots. too strong in the semi-final, available next year, when LUU and subsequently obtain Canadian Leeds recovered from their however, and Leeds went down will be hoping to make jup fortheir prefiminaiy round defeat in die 20-17 to a Iasi'minute try. disappointing BUSA second citizenship. Your present up for Leodensians Sevens event to win LUU captain Joel Saunders, round defeat by Keete. nationality and status is irrelevant!!! the Golden Boot award. who injured the ligaments in his The BUSA competition takes They progressed through four left ankle during the game against On a new form next season, when Call now M&M Canada knock-out rounds before trouncing Northern and is out o f action for teams will play one another on a Canadian Immigration and settlement Old Roundhayians 42-7 in the three months, was encouraged by home and away basis. super final. the performances. T h is suits us:" Saunders said; Specialists for your free assessment oh They also reached the semi •Considering we had not "We are much better at Weetwood final of the Westpark Brarahope practised, wedid extremely well to than weare away from home.” 081-429-3102 or 081-429-0823 Sevens by winning two o f their reach two semi-finals and win a Leeds have been drawn in a three group fixtures, before trophy," he said group with Durham, Northumbria bowing out to die Leeds Leeds have become an expert and Newcastle The top three sides Leeds Polytechnic OU1 Boys, sevens team over recent yean, and will qualify for the knock-out. InadihdcvcntatRipon StJohn won .the Northeast UAUevent last stage*- LEO ■ H CAXCER . l ' « W > U B TAVRI'S i r a G E H V n I f e f l ton 22 - Jul 22 Jiil 23 * Aug 22 ARIES | P^g^Moy22-J»m21 K @ H Apr21 -May 21 iMar 21 - Apr 30 You are not usually* The wheel of W* b TWs week, get ready to You are in the recovery starting to turn a little person to involve yourself Your feet wen firmly It feels as though in household chores and take a leap into the dark, someone is trying to bold stage, licking the woMjid faster this week. planted on the ground this of hurt feelings, especuwy tedious activities, but the good news give, you* you back and to stop you Relationship choices are the go-ahead with n*w week, so much so that you over relationship trouble. likely. Whatever happens, next few weeks will see could k*se sight of Original making a fool of yourself; projects. You can relax This is something to Many of you wfll be don't be inflexible as this you becoming interested now, knowing that , coals mid anrtDinons^m turmnginwards toward could result in the spoilt in things that in die past I ravour Of that which is watch oul for as you are previous tensions are generally disappointed spiritual matten»l*mct brat syndrome. It seems as may have left you feeling things of the past. familiar and comfortable. than actively seeking um cold- You are likely to | Break out oi the box and with life. You need to though you might have to Financial matters look a make yourself heard and perfect partner. Spend take an interest in cooking I within a few weeks you sometime looking at start acting tn a w y lhatis bit more balanced than understood. So watch oul unusual. or sewing. previously. | will be nrady to branch friendships. I out and try new ideas world! r f l i ] f WPRICORX AQVARIVS ■ n SAtilTTARIV» Pisces SCORPIO Jon 21 - Feb 19 LIBRA H Nov 22 ■ Dec 20 w Z n Dec 21 - km 20 N>'2O«Mar.20 Sap 23 Oct 23 Oct 24 - Nov21 Much time will be spent Financial plans are Kelationship trouble can often happen when two Anything thal involves You could do with some What's it all about? working out a burden- starting to clear up this What's the point? Why week and new plans give people compete with each I signing your name on assistance to help you get some situation this week, the dotted line should through the next three bother? These questions as friends will he sticking; you a renewed interest in other. Don'tlet jealosy get Susan Leyboorne is I bring success this Week, weeks, as your work load will be buzzing round their oar in where it is not the finer th ine in life. linthewayofanot-bed i the Pagan Chaplain at The shows no sign of your head this week as needed, and perhaps You are quite balanced romance. You are diming I especially in things of a you nuke important Umvemity of Leeds, 1 legal nature. New career lightening up. You are tellingyou-what you and die emotional area of [ anhnportanl mountain decision concernfogynur your life looks set for a I right now, and you are attached to its Occult plans start to take shape sfcLU managing to keep n already know Travel academic work. This welcome change for the I sure to find your chocolate society KABAL. She can be towards the middle of bright sunny outlook and plans are well highlighted; the week. Discussing this week should be a week is not a good one though your financial better. Watch out for orangeat&e top of the hill contacted at her office at 77 after all that hara work. ideas with friends good one for meeting lo try and figure out Ihe situation looks a bit sticky. unexpected invitations. I Vicar Lane, Leeds LSI 6QA meaning of life. i should pay off. people. (0113) 242 3531 or at home (0113)2423531 THE SHARPEST VIEWS ON THE BOX Following hot on the tails of the . coincidence. It is a deliberate policy on fee part of Channel Four. Whereas it gets beaten Brookside Om nibus, R ight to Rt^/y g ive s in the ratings war by the likes of EastEnders Right to Reply, Saturday 6.30pm, v o u the v ie w e r the chance to b ite back and Coronation St. Brookside has gone one and set the record straieht. D espatch Channel 4 better - it is Britain's first interactive soap. ciders are sent around the country to pick RigfU to Reply gives the illusion of up topes of your rants. Any programme objectivity. It is presented by serious- hen virtual reality takes off in a that has ruffled your feathers, rubbed you joumalist-documentary-producer-type Roger W big way in a few years' time, we up the wrong way, or gotyour knickers wul have virtual money, virtual in a twist is fair game. So long as irs sex, and virtual television, probably. B rookside, ...... A Bolton, w h idi raises its profile above (he When this happens we will, no doubt. The scheduling of Right To Reply after risible Points of View. Liverpool's best is more than mere Compared to its BBC counterpart, Rigftl to Reply is naif an hour long. It's a serious Programme with n*depi reports about the key issues on Britishh television. To be fair, some o f the reports are not that bad, and the live studio discussion between disgruntled punter and producers/directors make for liv e ly studio debate and beat the pants of Anne Robinson's raised eyebrows. A NIGHT ON However, it is a masterpiece of deception Every week, there is some mention of Brookie. even if it's just a passing mention. Last week, Right to Reply surpassed itself CHRIS HAMILTON with a whole programme devoted to catches up with Brookside. Producer Phil Redmond was hauled THE C L O W N into the dock and made to answer questions Leeds' latest circus about the Jordache trial. Much heated debate follow ed over whether the outcome of the sensation trial had been fair. That Brookside can stir such emotion with its fans is testament to its brilliance. However, Exam stress getting you a weekly slot of "Eastenders - you dedde" after down? Coursework blues the Sunday Omnibus would work just as well. making you wonder why you Either mis is a cunning marketing ploy, subliminal advertising for the channel's ever entered higher flagship programme, or there is something education? Well forget m ore goin g on.. housemates’ suggestions for In trie age o f virtual reality and interactive last orders at theTocal, computer games, Channel Four have taken the plunge and given us this de-luxe soap, de politely decline discount facto interactive television. So long asBroOkie midweek clubbing trips - it’s and Right to Reply are bedfellows (andl can t time to head for the circus! see this changing in the near future), men Yup, summer w ill seem that Channel Four is damn dose to the ultimate in much closer as the International television entertainment - a lifelike soap that Youth Circus Innov8! bowls into allows the view er to become involved. Who town next week, and they're needs virtual reality? planning to out-do Bamum's in some style with a mixture of free street shows around town as w ell as the full spectacular at Leeds zsth tu rn - ist City Varieties. Juggler Seth Barnes says everyone should come down and see what they*re u p to: "W e're a cosmopolitan company with members from across Europe including Latvia, Portugal, Germany and Franceas well as the UK. There's also a strong showing from people based in Leeds. Its going to be a ten) show and you 'd b e crazy to miss it! The main snow at Q tv Varieties is on 28th/29th M ay and 2nd June, starting at 7.30pm, with tickets at £3 adults, £1 concessions. Pre-book at the box office on 01132430808. You can see their free performances on 1st Tune at the C om Exchange between 2.00 and 4.00pm and in the West Yorkshire Playhouse foyer from 6.30pm onwards. Street shows are at Land'sXane, Dortmund Square, and Victoria Gardens on 24Hh/30thMay and 1st June between 12.30 and 130pm. IL222I iii f i l m | B B C 1 1 | friday 26 P* WE HAVE MORE PIZZAS THAN CAN BE FITTED IN THIS AD RING FOR DETAILS! pizzas 11" norm.10” deeo16" familv i r IQ1* 16" Meryl Streep £3.00 £3.70 £7.50 8. Kevin Cbetner £3.50 £4.20 £8.75 Mozzarella cheese & tomato 'fffihly aTirrri salcTTO. 2. Liz ltylar £3.30 £4.00 £8.25 9. James Cagney £3.60 £1.30 £9.00 s lic e d , £reeh mushrooms spicy chicken & sweecaam ffttcw <* P f y f * t i t 4&VU 3. Marilyn Monroe £3.50 £4.20 £8.75 10. Ifar1.cn Brando £3.80 £4.50 £9.50 mushrooms, aniens, peppers, aweeccnm spicy chicfcen, mushrooms £ p a p e r s 11. Hebert De N ir o TE L: 230 70 70 / 230 24 02 4. Deni Moore £3.80 £4.50 £9.50 £4.00 £4.70 £10.0 nushroans, aliens, crunchy nu£sf pineapple, tomato s picy’ ch ick en , ham, p in e a p p le & stweetoom 5. Kim Basinger £3.50 £4.20 £8.75 12. Anthony Hopkins £3.60 £4.30 £9.00 -ree main salad* r^ree with every! tuna & s u e e tc o m ham & p ix G c p p le or 2 portions I I order I 6. Jodie Fteter £3.80 £1.50 £9.50 B. L a u re l & B a rd ie £4.00 £4.70 QO.O chips with every | | £5: can of coke | tuna, prawns, nushxocms & onions (h o o e e a iy fro JsaZves cif different pizzas family pizza | | E10: bottle coke| 7 . item C ru is e £3.60 £4.30 £9.00 Sly StallmR £4.50 £5.20 £11.25 one offer per ordeij l^ w e offer per orde^j mix o f four cheeses anything Aide can get h is hands cn jfe film Saturday 27 Pi Served with French Fries & salad Southern Fried Chicken Burqers i/4lb 1/zlb Extras Plain Burger £2.20 £2.70 fceead £1.70 2 pc & chips £2.30 nprTie bread & tana to Cheese Burger £2.40 £2.90 £2.00 3pc & chips £3.00 American Burger £2.40 £2.90 Garlic ta x e d & cheese £2.30 6 EC & chips £5.50 GbiUL Burger £2.40 2.90 Chips £0.80 £2.90 Hawaiian Burger £2.40 Coleslaw £0.70 Extra pieces £0.90 Coleslaw Burger £2.40 £2.90 Main salad £1.50 FREE DELIVERY WITHIN A THREE MILE Garlic Burger £2.40 £2.90 rvyirl drinks £0.50 RADIUS ON ALL ORDERS OVER £5.00 Veggi Burger £2.40 £2.90 Desserts / cakes £1.00 OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK FROM 5pm UNTIL LATE Chicken Burger ££2.50 £3.00 75 BRUDENELL GROVE LEEDS 6 TEL: 230 70 70 film |BBC1 1 | Sunday 28 pick of the day I'TV V I MOM Cinema Vicar Lane. Leeds 7.30 Brum 6.00 GMTV (0113)245-2668 7.40 Playdays 8.00 Disney Adventures Richie Rich, 1pm 3.15pm 5.45pm 830pra 8.00 Telling Tales Fswlty Towers (7-30pm, BBC1). 925 The Real Ghostbusters Jot Juan deMarco I pm 3.15pm 5.46pm 8.15 Breakfast With Frost 10.00 Cartoon Time 8.50pm 9.15 Glimpses Of God Comic genius, I believe. 10.15 Link Outbreak iJOpm 3.30pm 5.30pm 8.10pm 9.30 First Ught 10.30 Sunday Live Utile Rascals 1pm 3pm 10.00 See Heart 12.25 Your Match Odeon 10.30 Next 12.50 Calendar News The Huadrow. Leeds 10.55 Bon Mot 1.00 News: Weather (0113) 243^230 11.00 Fat Man In France 1.10 Goldrlng Rob Roy 1.46pm 4.40pm 7.55pm 11.30 Sid’s Heroes 2.00 Rugby World Cup 1995 101 Dalmatians i.Q6pm 12.00 CountryFlle 3.00 Cartoon Time SttMOgiti* 3.10pm 5.45pm fl,25pm 12.30 News; On The Record 3.10 The Ultimate Challenge Bye Bye Love 1.16pm 3.40pm 5.55pm 1.30 EastEnders 3.55 Mr Fantasy 825pm 4.25 Thunder In Paradise. Adventure Dumb and Dumber 1.10pm 2£0 FILM: Operation Crossbow series set in the steamy tropical MurieTe Wedding 3.35pm 6pm 840pm (1955). Set in the dark days of |BBC2 I I jCh4 4 I paradise of south Florida. Spenoe Bullets Over Broadway 1,20pm 6.10pm World War II when the VI flying and Bru investigate a new high- Circle of Friends 3.50pm 820pm bomb was (ailing on London, tech vessel with the ability to pull Hyde Park Cinema this tale of bravery beyond the 6.15 Open University 5.00 4-Tel on View Willy Fog freighters down to the ocean floor. Brtfdenall Ra, LSfi call ol duty centres around a 9.10 6.10 Trans world Sport 9.35 The Movie Game 5.20 Calendar (0119)275-2045 gallant, hand-picked team of 7.05 Trumpton 5.50 News: Weather 10.05 Charlie Brown & Snoopy Show 7.20 Bandli Queen 6.40pm daring Allied agents whose task Madeline 6.00 The Exchange Utfle Odessa 0pm is to infiltrate and destroy the 10.30 Grange Hill 7.45 Hullaballoo 6.30 Surprisel Surprise! 10.55 Ocean Odyssey 8.05 Cottage Road Cinema German weapons research Sharky And George 7.30 Catherine Cookson’a The 11.20 F.O.T. Cottage Road, Far Headingley station at Peenemunde. 8.30 Dog City Dwelling Place. While fighting to (0113)275-1606 11.45 The O-Zone 8.55 The Pink Panther 12.00 Regional Programmes keep her five young brothers and ftlctiis Rich (PG) 3.00pm S^Opm 7.50pm For Valour 9.20 Back To The Future sisters from the workhouse. Cissie 12.30 Sunday Grandstand: 12.35 101 Daimntlons 11.00am Lifeline 9.45 Aaahhlll Real Monsters is raped by a drunken young Judo; 1.00 Goff — Volvo PGA Lounge Cinema Masterchef 1995 10.15 Quids In aristocrat and falls pregnant. Championship; 2.05 Motor Rocko's Modern Life North Lane, Heudlngley News: Weather 10.25 8.30 Shine On, Harvey Moon. Racing. Live coverage of this (0113)275-1061 Look North 10.35 Dennis 9.00 The Governor. The task of afternoon's grand prix in Monaco; Rob Roy 4.45pm 7-40pm Songs Of Praise 10.45 Saved By The Bell: The New rebuilding Barfield Prison after the 4.30 Golf; 6.30 News Round-Up. Utile Rascals 3pm SmallTalk Class riot is well underway, but new PteturavWa Cinema, Bradford Fawlty Towers (Timings may change). 11.15 Rawhide The Money Programme governor Helen Hewitt's attempts (01274)732277 The V et Whilst competition for the 12.15 Little House On The Prairie to dear Barfield of drugs prove Look At The State We're Ini Oeaft and the Maiden 6pm partnership hots up, Jennifer puts 1.15 The Century of Cinema: FILM: impossible. Before Sunrise 3.30pm herself out on a Bmb over the Family Therapy High Sierra (1941). Classic 10.00 The Clive James Show. The Cricket Bradford Playhouae and Film Theatre treatment of a winning racehorse. gangster drama stalling rounded one laughs at more of his Death Of Apartheid. Followed by Chapel Street, Bradford News: Weather Humphrey Bogart Followed by own jokes. (01274) 820666 The Hanging Gale. With Joe Talking X’s News; Weather 10.45 News: Weather Muriel** Wedding 3pm 6pm McGaim, Mark MoGann, Paul Empire of the Censors. 11.00 Your Match. Highlights of today’s My Crazy Life 8.15pm McGann, Stephen McGann. The Documentary examining the 3.15 Football Italia Second Division Play-Off Final history of fHm censorship in story of the Phelan brothers, their 5.30 Watch This Space between Huddersfield Town and passions and disagreements and Britain'. Followed by Talking X's 6.05 Party Of Five Bristol Rovers. battle for survival in (he face of the 11.05 FILM: Night Porter (1974). 7.00 Encounters: Rebels Of The 11.30 Wearing Colours. A frank and Forgotten World clubs Irish Famine. Drama ateut the compelling drama about the 8.00 Plunder 10.00 Mastermind sadomasochistic relationship Heyset Stadium disaster on May 8.30 The Century of Cinema: A Dm Underground 1&30 Everyman. Bennett celebrates the between Max, an ex-Nad, and 29th 1985 In which 39 people Personal Journey With Martin OooktWga SKaat. Uadi talents of the late Sir John Lucia, the woman he used to were crushed to death. News TtmSvnMyJotil Scorsese Through American 12.35 Quiz Night Stuart Hall is your Uvii le a end (asst dnirmr m Betjeman. sexually abuse. Monaco Grand Prix Movies host as The Foresters Arms from The Sky At Night 1.00 FILM: Beat Girt (1962). When a 10.00 The Century of Cinema: FILM; Somerset lock horns with The Tfw Sunday S#nx» - dub rebellious teenager falls under New York, New York (1977). Albert from Blackpool. tt&t&ni DJ Simon Scon 12.35 FILM: Right To Kill? (1985). the spell of a Soho strip-dub Martin Scorsese's fine pastiche Drama based on the this story 1.10 American Gladiators Tpm-llpm C£50£2oonc* owner, the resulting tensions of 40s Big Band musicals. 2.05 Kaam Ki Baatein of a batted family struggling to lead to murder. make a new life. Richard, the 1.00 The Century of Cinema: FILM: 2.10 FILM: Jaan Pehchaan (1950). AI son. thinks that there is only 2.30 FILM: Performance (1970). j story of the love between a m i s c Beating people up and Faces (1968). John Cassavetes one way of succeeding, but it gives a powerful portrayal of the scylgtor and a village girt. involves the problematic destroying expensive cars are al in a day’s work (or Chas Devlin. destruction of marriage. 4.25 Jobflnder The Com Exchange business of murder. 5.30 News VherUnihUedi Right.______3.25 Close 2.05 Weather: 2.10 Close T*M» Tcp Saraar Mem-Spm 4.20 Close CAFE PIZZA CAFE PIZZA BUY 2 Plus: A further 10% off now! (with this voucher) PIZZAS This offer will not last Iona AND GET A WE CHALLENGE YOU TO THIRD ONE GET A BETTER PIZZA ANYWHERE ELSE IN LEEDS! TEL: 275 OOOO / 275 5555 (Permanent feature) FREB DELIVERY DON'T TOUCH Blurb takes a trip to BBC Manchester and goes behind the scenes at One FM's hippast show * Mark Radcliffe s slot from 10 to midniaht. JONATHAN GIBBS makes a general nuisance of himself, meets the Cock o' the North, and asks 'Does your Radio rock?' types, bat die only person there is paint job. Hie warehouse is also Pauline the PA, so I have » coffee stock-piling ou I of date D] photos * is takes me to Studio \ down in and BBC Muffin with her. Stghmfr there'safewboxesof Normski,a arrive all bright-eyed at BBC «m e other comer of the building Manchester and am met by Lis, over the long hours, she tells me she where tonight”s session band. crate of old-logo Clare Sturgess and Mark Raddiffe's produced who L really wants to get into drama as much St as you want mate. He Salad, is being recorded. U's actually Isweeps me along about three production. U's tip to her to deal lights up the cubbyhole studio, about an old drama studio, clattered up with the band, sort out their hotel miles worth of carpeted, be-gold with.wardrobes full of dothos, the size of the cupboard under my Idisced corridor to the 1FM Office and the rider, which appears to sink, stuffed full of even more knobs typewriters and other props, as well and points me to a seat in which to consist of a few cans wasn't Jimmy Saville. When you get rid of iiffllt you onderful Radio One has been catching a hell institutions you get a kick back. Where 1 think the Wuti o f a lot of flak recently. Its listeners are mistake was maae was getting rid of Ujem too dose lyhtftwt Wdropping like flies and the government together. It's like a football team, you want to bring IfOStS doesn't want to give them any more money. I called in a couple of youngsters over a couple of seasons. on Mark to defend the station against these charges. You don't want to get rid of them all at once, faMibn Is Radio One down the dumper? although with Man City that wouldn't be such a bad do think I "It does annoy me. actually. You must remember idea. ifrffte that about ten o f fifteen years ago. Radio One was The stations been under incredible pressure to Gorgeous god of the air waves or loud- mourned ginge? We get the low down on the Evans phenomenon Mark Radcliffr. H e really sounds bright and confident When he stained, it didn't sound like a new show - ft sounded like it ought to be there. I actually worked with Chris at Picadilly rM , where his nickname was Nobby and he was spectacularly inept I mw him again quite recently and lie's alright Chns. It was good for 1FM to be seen to be able toaraw someone of nis stature, the new Jonathan Rom or whatever. As for the finances, there has been some distortion of the figures. He's paid a fuck of a lot o f cash, let's make no mistake, but he's paid less cash than people think he is. People mentioned figures like a million pounds for eight months, bat remember it's an indepeaent production, so that million pounds w ill cover CHris Evans, pdroducer, PA and whatever sidekicks he has on air with'.him, and he w ill pay the BBC fOr rent of the studio. Hit the North cost four grand a show, so if you multiply that by five, you've got £20,000 - that's £100,000 per month if you add u up. It s still a lot of money, but wrfcshy fop" - with Mr Scrawn, ne Rodcli it's not like people think. lev's Hannah & Alex: "A n annoying red-haired, facetious, mind. badly-dressed, unnecessarily loud shite." Personally, the image that went home with me as I sat on the Last Helen Thomas, first year, Leeds Universitye “I Train Bade to Leeds Central was of J think he's really good. I loved the Big Raddiffe sat silently contemplating J Breakfast, and now he's on Radio One, I've the solemn grace of Joy Division's f started listening again. I guess I'm a bit of a sad "Here Are xne Young Men". f grouie." Tonight's guest reader had been W jji/ j 'j'jnu Deborah Curtis, widow of Ian. V Dave Edwards, L M U finalist: "He's utter boliox. Touching from a Distance is the title of f He show has nothing original on f t 1 much prefer the book, although tonight that i f d m 1 L) i l l 12 [ Chris Tarant when I m at home." distance seemed somehow do6erP as ^Letter in latest Radio Times from P A Hipkiss, if the last fifteen years hadn't Producer, alternates with Lis. Bassist in the’Up and happened. peeping Sf James, Lines Coming' new band Scrawn, Cheese and Lard. "Lard and I " la m a retired traffic patrolman and am both maintained our musical days were over, but we've | writing regarding the Chris Evans derided to form", says Raddiffe. "That's an exclusive for J breakfast show on Radion 1, with Leeds Student. I'm sure we’ll do nothingabout it." about your agenda, really - J particular reference to the feature "Honk John: Comedy banter stand-up poet. Fondness for dogs and _T Your Horn". In this, M r Evans invites What about the cultural stuff on his show, then. Hsgby proud to wear glasses. Where did that come from? / .listeners to call in on their mobile Mark: Off-beat film critic (writes for poncy Sight & Sound I T telephones and honk their horn along to The I Just wrote a list o f all the people that 1 thougl Kerm ode magazine) who hosts the weekly CultFilm Slot- Big fan were bright and funny and interesting."It wasn't B . Blue Danube. of Tne Exorcist. W May I point out that, according to the Highway some altruistic vision of having poetry on. although I M ad e Fast-talking, fast-smoking cockney comedian. Takes do think that it was the last thing to nave been tried, [ Code, for a driver to use a mobile telephone, the Lamarr over the show when Raddixres on holiday, presumably l car must be stationary and yet the horn may only after the whole 'Comedy is the new Rock n Roll' to avoid confusion with too many names. thing, which is obviously bollocks, but you take their g be sounded if the car is in motion. Lard: Ex bass player of The Fall. "1 think I plucked him from I You w ill therefore see that it is impossible for a point. Also, we wanted to get away from that the sewage outlet of showbiz", says Radcliffe, "Look at interview thing where you say, 'How's the tour ■ driver to take part in "H onk Your Horn" him now, it's amazing how far you can polish a turd." L without contravening the Highway Code in going, when's the album coming out?' and the idea km "One of Britain's Most Entertaining Writers", Ian is that the Radio 1 audience wasn't literary or literate is ‘i one way or another. I would ask that this McMillan: from Barnsley and receives bags of poems from listeners, reckless feature be dropped immediately." just wrong. There is a great tradition o f British bed including huge suurealist novels from weirdos all over sit miseraolism and I thought perhaps it would be ■ (repreinted with kind permission from the the country. L Radio Times). interesting to hear Justine from Elastica reading the Greg: Ginger haired funny man from the States, famous for Marquis de Sade or Clint Boon reading Alice in Proops his Whose Line appearances. I Mark Owens, Park Lane College: "Chris Wonderland. Loudmouthed yanky sexpot from die States. The best As Raddiffe flexed his muscles to get on with his Ibm / Evans gets a lot o f stick of everyone. But Puckrick thing to hit Sunday television since err... Network 7 I good luck to him. He is a really funny preparations, I threw my last question at him. That Will Self: Vampiric writer, author of the superb Quantity Theory j bloke and deserves all the success he gets. old chestnut 'What's your favourite record?' "I of Insanity. Hosts the tegular 'Cult Book Slot'. [ It'd be better if he wasn't ginger though..." think, if pushed, my favourite single would have to Frank: The man with the papier mach£ head. Radcliffe used be "Hole in my Shoe" by Traffic. because it tells you Sideboflom to be in his band: " t used to back him on a cheap kick everything you need to Know about British drum and hi-hat and a little organ, In fact we played the psychedelic music. A s for my album, it would have Leeds University Tartan Bar. That's how I first met Lard. to Zijgy Stardust, or Trans Europ Express or Marquee Every Christmas. Frank used to do a panto and he used Moon or Jonathan Richmond and the Modern Lovers or to rope in any old tarar with some time to spare, of The Queen is Dead or Closer,..'' w h iai I was o s ^ d i^ ftc d was another, unsurpri I think we could be here all night. g film |BBC1 1 | monday 2 9 P'**1 ***e **ay MOM Cinema 7.00 News: Weather Vicar l-niia. Lseds 7.10 Babar (0113)246-2665 7.35 Postman Pat 9.55 FILM: City Beneath The Sea Fitehia filch 1pm 3.15pm 5.45pm 8.30pm 8.00 News: Weather (1970). Robert Wagner stars In Jon Juan deMarco 1pm 3.1Spm 5.45pm 8.10 The Adventures Of Sklppy this 70s sd-fl drama, in which a 8,30pm Swat Kats futuristic colony is to be bunt on Outbreak 1-30pm 3.30pm 5.30pm 8.10pm 8.35 B.00 News: Weather the sea bed. The city of Pacifica Odeon Conan The Adventurer opens In 2053, but its new Tho Headrow. Leeds 9.05 925 Acthr8 population face a struggle to (0113)243-823$ 9.55 Bird In The Nest survive. Rob Roy 1.45pm 4.40pm 7.55pm P laydays 101 DaJmaUans 1,05pm 10.05 11.35 Warner Brothers Cartoon Stroeffighter 3.10pm 5.46pm 825pm 10.25 Cartoon 11.45 Home And Away Bye Bye Love 1,15pm MOpm 5.55pm 10.35 FILM: Lady Jane (1985). 12.15 News: Weather fJ55}mi Historical drama about Lady 12.25 Coronation Street Dumb and Dumber 1.10pm Jane Grey, who spent just nine 12.55 The Match — Live. Endsteigh MuriaTs Wadding 3.36pm 6pm 8-30pm days as queen at the age of 16. League Division One Play-Off Bullets Over Broadway 1.20pm 6.10pm Bank Holidays Just wouldn't be Bank Holidays without the obligatory James Bond Final. Bob Wilson introduces live 12.50 News: Weather Clide of Friends aSQpm 820pm film, would they? YTVs treat for us today is Dr No (4.45pm). which will remind you coverage from Wembley, as the 1.10 Neighbours Hyde Park Cinema remaining two teams in the play 1.35 Bird In The Nest of, erm.... Bank Holidays when you were young (and Ursula Undress wears that Brudana* Rd. LS6 bikini, boys). offs fight K out for e coveted place (0113)275-2045 11.40 FILM: How The West Was in the FA Premiership. Lflfte Odessa 7pm Won (1962). A magnificent 3-35 Stuntmasters Bandit Queen 9pm sprawling attempt lo convey the 4.15 Home And Away Cottage Road Cinema whole of the early history of 4.45 FILM: Dr No. (1962). Sean Cottage Road, Far Haaoingtoy |BBC2 2 | |Ch4 4 \ America, fikned in the doomed Connery growls his way through (Q113) 275-1606 three-strip Cinerama. the first of the Bond films as 007. 101 Dabnattona I lam and with an array of Stars. sent to Jamaica to investigate RtotiHJ Rich 2pm 4pm 6pm 8.20pm 6.20 Open University 5.00 4-Tel On View 6.35 Spiff And Hercules the death of a British agent Lounge Cinema 8.00 FILM: Carefree (1938). A North Lane. Headingley 1.05 Disney Time 7.00 The Big Breakfast There he meets Dr No, who has humourless lawyer dispatches Uttte Wizards a secret and deadly weapon (0113)275-1061 Bird In The Nest. Bill Oddie and 9.00 his wavering girlfriend to a 9.30 California Dreams which he is threatening to use. Rob Roy 5.40pm 8.15pm Peter Holden present the live psychologist, but his bid to rush 9.55 Batman Pictureville Cinema, Bradford birdwatching series, in which her down the aisle misfires when Ursula Andress walks out of the 10.20 Mork And Mindy sea as Bond's blkini-dad leading (012?--,) 732277 hidden cameras spy on intimate she falls in love with the analyst. 10.50 Kelly lady, See Pick of the Day. Death and the Maiden 6pm nesting dramas, including a family Starring Fred Astaire, Ginger of greater spotted woodpeckers. 11.20 Pugwail’s Summer Before Sunns* 6.30pm Rogers. News: Weather 11.50 Terrytoons 5.40 News: Weather Bradford Playhouse and Rim Theatre 5.50 Calendar Chapel Street, Bradford Neighbours 9.20 FILM: Pastor Hall (1939). A 12.00 Right To Reply (01274)820666 Red Nose Awards. Andi Peters “I pastor who talks out against 12.30 Sesame Street 5.55 FILM: Dr No. (continued) My Crazy Life 6pm hosts the third annual awards Nazi beliefs and poHdes is 1.30 Mr Men, followed by Paddington, ceremony for the top programmes The Wombles and Further Tales 7.00 Get A Life I Richard Madeley and detained in a German Judy Finnigan look Into the world and personalities of the last year, concentration camp but Of The Rlverbank as voted by the readers and Garden Club of health, with all the latest news music His torturers to deliver a final and research. viewers of 'Live and Kicking'. Plus sermon. Talking X*s Channel 4 Racing From music from Michelle Gayle and Sandown Park 7.30 Coronation Street A Joyful Murters Wedding al6pm Boyzone. 10.55 Golf — Volvo PGA Fifteen To One reunion in the street as a wanderer The Town A Country Club That’s Showbuslness. Mike Championship. Live coverage The Golden Girls returns. Meanwhile, there’s some Cooluidge Street, Leeds Smith host the celebrity quiz show. from Wentworth’s West Course. The Five Mrs Buchanans male bonding going on at number The Cranberries This week's contestants include 12.00 Monaco Grand Prix. Highlights of The Cosby Show. News 11. Tickets £10 advance - only fhoy're sold out. so Natalie Imbruglia from yesterday's grand prix in Monaco. Summary and Weather 8.00 Pot Of Gold. Des introduces six you’ll probably end up celling your soul to a tout ‘Neighbours', Ian Kelsey from ‘wannabes’, whose 30-second live 12.45 FILM: Swing Time (1936). Two 6.35 FILM: Ice Cold In Alex (1960). if you're thal desperate to aaaDotoras and her •Emmerdale1 and comedian John auditions could win one of them a dance partners are attracted to Classic British war movie starring Moloney. lull slot on tonight's show. And one another, but he has a John Mills. His aim is to front a The Underground Watchdog Healthcheck. Chronic they're all singing ‘Bette Davies* fiancee back home. Starring dangerous drive by ambulance, Cookridge Street. Leeds pain and how a stay In an NHS Eyes”. Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers. through the Libyan desert in B ren d an Crofter end “T he Q m at In d o o rs’ pain clinic can help combat il and 9.00 Bramweil. Eleanor opens the 1942, to safety. With Sylvia Thrift Infirmary, but discovers that the myth of so-called 'safe* 2.25 Golf — Volvo PGA Syms and Anthony Ouayle. suntans exploded. Championship. Final stages at trying to distinguish the deserving EastHnders. Kathy plans a family Wentworth 9.00 The Wild West- Of all the from the undeserving poor can be clubs get-together et the Vic. Saving Subsequent programmes are subject promises made and broken both difficult and dangerous. Cindy from a dose shave with to change between Native Americans and 10.00 ITN News: Weather £2.50 7 30pm start David. Peggy wants to know who 5.10 Wildlife On Two: The Passing of the whites, none would cause 10.15 Calendar News: Weather Planet Earth Grant's date was. the Buck. Rare footage of more heartache and tragedy than 10.20 The 1995 World Music Awards. CHy Square, Leeds Next Of Kin. Maggie and Andrew biaddxick — the most graceful of the treaty df 1868. Claudia Schtfter and Luke Perry Student Extravagwva find that trying to enjoy their antelopes. 10.00 NYPD Blue host the 1996 World Music Awards Admission 61 plus free Dottte of cider | honouring-the world's best-selling grandchildren is not much fun. 10.55 The Century Of Cinema: FILM: Vai &40 FILM: El Cid (1961). A recently recording artists. Phwooaarmgh. Menton Centre, Leeds FILM: Boomerang (1992). A restored version of the epic story Ride Lonesome (1959). smart NY marketing man enjoys of the 11th-century Spanish hero Compelling, low-budget Western 12.20 FILM: Disorganised Crime S u m m er T erm M a d rm a (1989). Four top crooks keep a £1.50 trebles success with a string of Rodrigo Diaz de Bfvar — better starring Randolph Scott as a beautiful, intelligent women, but known as El Cid, sheriff-tumed-bounty hunter, The mysterious rendezvous, but the Ritty criminal mastermind who brought on Centre, Leeds resists the temptation to settle confusing plot centres around the down. When his new boss, 8.30 Children Of The Video. An sheriffs capture of a gunslinger, them together to unveil his 77»W O fftf Insight into children's fears and perfect heist has been arrested El 5 0 admission £1.30 pfms spurns his advances, it seems in the hopes of flushing out his fantasies generated by viewing Cooped up together, the quartet Crftltf#: that he's met his match at last. brother, who killed his wife. .Starting; Eddie Murphy and 'adult' certified films. Followed by Nothing like keeping It In the of strangers find they have two New Bngsate, Leeds Talking X's qualities in common— a love of residing yet mote Robin Givens. 'family,.______I P ttta 8 Summer Term 9.00 Empire Of The Censors. money and a mutual loathing 10.50 News: Regional News: Weather Followed by Talking X's 12-15 The Artist. BAFTA-award winning (riot necessarily a formula to Et admission 99p pints 11.10 Bird In The Nest 10.00 Doing Rude Things. Followed by short film by Jonas Grimas about guarantee them their $2m Rlo'e Talking X's an artist who captures the eye of a ayday). Stars Corbin Bemsan. Maroon Centra. Leeds 11,15 FILM: Back To School (1986). Middle-aged millionaire Thomtofll customs official. oyt Axon and Ruben Blades. fbver-dance 10.50 FILM: The Devils (1971). Mild 12.40 Catholics And Sex The Warehouse Melon pays a surprise visit to his surrealism surrounds this 2.05 TheE New Music. Veruca Salt 1.45 FILM: Nana (1934). A rare Somers Stmeet, Leeds son Jason at university and portrayal df immorality and discuss their album American chance to sec Samuel Goldwyn's Leeds U ni'B eer-C tiy. T te F a c u lty O f Flm thereafter neither of their lives depravity in 17th-century France. Thighs and Jennifer Morton meets lavish freely-adapted version of 9.30pm-2am £3 entrance are quite the same. Radiohead. 12.40 FILM: The Silence (1963). Emile Zola's classic novel. Lager EI-20/CastBway Et 20/Biastnway 22 3.05 The Chart Show 12.45 Golf: Volvo PGA Championship. Ingmar Bergman's bleak and in- Russian-born Anna Sten makes Cosmo's Steve Rider presents highlights of 4.00 Disaster Chronicles Francis Street, LS7 depth study of loneliness, love her Hollywood debut in the title the final round at Wentworth. 4.20 Jobfinder B ank H oliday S p e c ia l ndutflng sets from Juntfa and sexual obsession. role. 1.25 Weather 5.30 News (Xls Mtcksy Rhn and W.O.7 1.30 Close 2.15 Close 3.15 Close REPUTATION CALL NOW - FREE Do you need We are world renowned for the quality of our work PROFESSIONAL 0800 591 570 Our staff are medically qualified to conduct clinical trials for more a reason for REWARDING Your valued time Wifi be recompensed information ENJOYABLE taking part Make new Mends, relax and catch up with reading SATISFACTION A unique opportunity to be part of tomorrows healthcare solutions BESSELAAR in clinical BENEFITS Clinical Research Unit You will have a free medical checfcrup Springfield House, SAFETY Hyde Street, trials? All trials comply with the Royal College of Physicians guidelines Leeds LS2 9NG An independent Ethics Committee monitors the safety and welfare of volunteers film |BBC1 1 | t u e s d a y 3 0 P* fM m )L e e d s University Union Old Bar New opening times on a Saturday: lpm to 11pm. A ll your favourite drinks now available from lunchtime until closing time. The Change Kiosk is also open selling Cigarettes, Soft Drinks and Confectionary. Leeds University Union run by students fo r students. g film Wednesday 31 P'«k ° # the daY | MOM CinaiTHi 6.00 Business Breakfast 6.00 GMTV Vinnr Liino, Leeds 9.25 Win, Lose Or Draw (01 f!» 24556^ 7.00 BBC Breakfast News 9.05 Co nan The Adventurer 9.55 Calendar News: Weather ftiutiia Ridi i pm 3.15pm 13,45pm B.S0pm 10.00 Step By Step. Frank's not happy Joii Juan deMarco 1 pm 3 15pm 5 .4Spm 9.25 Adlv8 8.30pm 9.55 Bird In The Nest when he learns that Carol wants I Outbreak '!.30pm 3.S0|jm 5.aopm 8.10pm 10.00 News: Regional News: Weather her family to join his tor the annual Odeon 10.05 Playdays family day competition. The Meadraw, Leeds 10.30 Good Morning Summer 10.30 This Morning (0119)243.6230 12.25 Going For Gold 12.20 Calendar News: Weather 1230 News: Weather Rob Roy 1.45pm 4,40pm 755pm 12.50 News: Weather Regional News: 101 Dalmatian* I ,06pm Weather 12.55 Coronation Street Sireetftghtet &10pro 5.45pm B-25ptn 1.00 One O'clock News: Weather 1.25 Home And Away. Shane’s anger By» By» Love 1 15pm 3.40pm 5.55pm 1.30 Neighbours is directed at Alf, whom he blames 8.25pm 1.50 Howard's Way for putting Angel in hospital. Dumb and Dumbe* 1.10pm 2.40 Bread. Carta Lane's "comedy’ 1.55 Rugby World Cup 1995. The Muriel's Wedding 3-35pm 6pm 6.30pm about the escapades of a action starts In Bloemfontein Bullets Over Broadway 1.20pm 6.10pm UvetpugHan family headed by the where Ireland meet Japan (kick-off Circle of Fiwnds 3.50pm 8.20pm redoubtable Nellie Boswell. Joey Can the BBC escape the curse of Bdomdo with their new soap, Castles 2.00pm), then switches to Durban where England will also be hoping Hyde Parte Cinema dalms an incontinence allowance (7.30pm, BBC1), the everyday story of North London folk? Perhaps so * It doesn't for Grandad, and Billy enters the to run up the points against Italy BrudenflO Rd, LS6 to have Roger from Rainbow in if . (0113) 275-2045 World of antiques. (kick-off 4.00pm). Udie Odessa 7pm 3.10 Lifeline 5.45 News: Weather Bandit Queen 9pm 320 Cartoon 6.00 Calendar Cottage Road Cinema 3.40 Bird In The Nest 6.45 Rugby World Cup 1995. Live Cottage Road, Far Headingley 3.45 The Animals Of Farthing Wood coverage from Ellis Park, (011$ 275-1606 4.10 The Chipmunks |BBC2 I | |Ch4 4 | Johannesburg as Wales face their 101 Dalmatians 11am 435 Glad Rags greatest test of the campaign so Rtebfs Rltfi 2pm 4pm 6pm 8.20pm 5.00 Newsround 6.20 Open University 5.00 4-Tel On View far against New Zealand, one of Lounge Cinema 5.05 Blue Peter 8.00 Breakfast News 6.35 The Adventures Of T-Rex the favourites to lift this year's North Lano. Headingley 5.35 Neighbours 7.00 The Big Breakfast World Cup. Wck-of to at 7.00pm. 6.15 FILM: Cry Danger (1951). After {0113)275-1061 1.00 News: Weather 9.00 Little Wizards 8.30 Coronation Street five years In prison, a man is Rod Roy 5.40pm 8.15pm 1.30 Look North 9.30 California Dreams 9.00 FILM: Heartbreak Ridge (1986). Picture villa Cinema, Bradford 7.00 Monkhouse's Memory Masters. exonerated of his robbery conviction! 9.55 Batman I Clint Eastwood stars in and (01274) 7 7 0 3 3 7 (New Series). A quiz show which 10.20 Mork And Mindy directs this war movie. Before Sunrise 6pm challenges the memory and 10.50 Kelly Disillusioned with the hi-tech, bv- Death and the Malden 830pm 9.30 FILM: Buck Privates (1941). A expands the boundaries of the 11.20 Pugwairs Summer the-book modem military, an old Bradford Playhouse and ri)m Theatre i couple of dimwitted tie salesmen mind Presented by Bob 11.50 Wlldstde Vietnam veteran requests a Chapel Street, Bradford accidentally enlist In the army. Monkhouse. with Annabel Giles. 12.15 Tenytoons posting to his old unit to see out <01274)820666 Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. 12.30 Sesame Street CrooWyn 2pm 8:16pm 10.50 Star Trek his soldiering days. Tough and 7.30 Castles. Businessman James 1.30 The Herbs, followed by Dig, Dug Muriel's Wedding 6pm 11.15 FILM: Dot And Keeto (1986). A foul-mouthed, the marine Castle is busily arranging a sixtieth and Daisy sergeant puts a squadron of lazy birthday party for his wife Margaret fun-filled children's adventure set in the Australian outback 2.00 Making Money young cadets through their involving their four grown-up pacee. t h e a t r e children and grandchildren, but combining live action and 2.15 FILM: The House On she suspects him of infidelity.See animation. Telegraph Hill (1951). Sharp 0.00 News: Weather and stylish Him nolr-lniluenced Pick Of the Day. 12.30 Working Lunch 10.30 Calendar News; Weather praam On 6pm 8.15pm 8.20 Scam! Simon Walton presents an thriller starring Valentina 1.00 Harder Than Everest. Oo-er. Weet Yorkshire Playhouse Investigation into the story of Cortesa. 10.40 FILM: Heartbreak Ridge. Quarry Hill Mount Leeds 1.50 Town Portraits (Continued). Rosemary Aberdpur, a doctor's 2.00 Spot 4.00 Jimmy's (0113)24*2111 daughter from Essex who posed 2.05 William's Wish Wellingtons 4.30 Fifteen To One Steven Berkplf directs Shakespeare's as an aristocrat and stole: millions 12.05 Rugby World Cup 1995. Mark Coriotenus 730pm 2.10 Songs Of Praise 5.00 Rick! Lake from the charity she worked for. 2.45 Back To Work 5.45 Terrytoons Austin and Mary Nightingale take Tickets £4.50-C11.50 8.50 Bird In The Nest 3.00 News; Endangered World — A 6.00 All American Girl a look at the action from a crucial 9.00 News: Look North: Weather Kenyan Trilogy 6.30 Boy Meets World day's matches. 9.30 Cardiac Arrest. James is 3.55 News: Look North: Weather 7.00 Channel 4 News: Weather 1.15 Magnum. The Hawaiian private dubs appalled to discover that the Aids 4.00 Today's The Day 7.55 The Slot eye catches sight of a woman who diagnosis has been leaked to the 4.30 Ready, Steady, Cook 8.00 Brookslde. Carl and Max return bears a striking resemblance to press. 5.00 The Oprah Winfrey Show the beer and meet the Infamous his wife, who was reported dead In Dracuta 730pm 10.00 Ben Elton— The Man From The Underground 5.40 The Long Goodbye. Josephine Las. Then the Brooksfde women the ruins of Saigon. Auntie. A few final quiet 2.15 Hollywood Report. British Cookridge Street. Leeds Hart, the Irish bom author of make a stand reflections from Ben Elton in the perspective on the hype of 7rit= M oth d u n - live jazz 'Damage', tells how fate has dealt I Camcorder middle of some frantic and Hollywood. Followed by News Doors open 8pm £5&4/£3 her the enisles! of blows. By the Dispatches exhilarating stand-up and 2.45 Vldeofashlon. In case you aren’t Planet Earth time she was 17, she had lost Lloyds Bank Film Challenge: sketches. City Square, Leeds three siblings — her Infant brother Movin' As A Massive. Where's able to stay up tnlght, here’s an in- 10.30 Barry Norman At The Cannes 77W Catwash - TOsSOe ml* Charles to pneumonia, her sister the hottest place to be on the first depth look at the show. Well be Rim Festival. Barry Norman with 9pm-3am E2.50/E2NUS Sheila to meningitis and her night of the new moon in March? seeing a guide to the hits of the his annual report from the South of 89p p».us-‘E®p shots (selected spirit!?) brother Owen in an accident. Manchester... 19-year-old spring/summer 1995 collections France. Britain's best hopes for The Pleasure Rooms 6.00 Star Trek: The Next Generation filmmakers Aneei Ahmed and from the catwalks of Paris. Milan, Lower Memon Street, Leeds honours rest on the shoulders of 6.45 A Bit Of Bluff Faisal Qureshi take us on a wild London and New York. Some of Ken Loach, Terence Davies, John Circus- dance, funk, add jazz.....__ 7.00 Excallbur— The Search For night of celebration. the star designers taking part Boorman, Nicholas Hytner and 10pm-2am E3.5WE3NUS Arthur. A look into the historical ER. Benton’s lack of sleep leads include Kail Lagerfeld, Calvin Christopher Hampton. Cl Pinis/Pils £150 Diamond While truth about King Arthur. lo dire consequences: and Lewis Klein, Valentino and Todd 11.10 Bird In The Nest FI tltiler® Nightclub 7.50 Top Gear Take Two Is fascinated by a man who is not Oldham, who discuss their latest Behind The Grand Theatre, New Bnggate, 11.20 FILM: Murder In The City Of 8.00 More Front Gardens all he seems. silhouettes, accessories,colour Leeds Angels (1987). George Peppard 8.30 Home Front Four-Matlons: Secret Passions. trends and fabric choices And top NUS • National Union ot Sound heads the cast of this TV movie 9.00 The Travel Show Oscar-wirmers Alison Snowden make-up artists such as Francois drama, set straight after the 9.30 The Troubleshooter Returns. Sir and David Fine talk about their Nars and Kevyn Aucoin create Second World War. Murder, John Harvey Jones is back with a films and how they work as a team star looks on the likes of Karen prostitution, bombings, four-part autobiographical series — in and out of the studio, Mulder, Linda Evangelista, Tyra comedy corruption —1 you name it, these combining his own past and his 11.30 Cheers Banks and Nadja Auermann. are ail in a day's work for vision of the future. 12.00 LA Law 3.15 The Album Show. This week's E2.50/E1.50NUS Cider £1 .'Pints Cl .20 Detective Frank Doakey of the 10.20 Watch Out. Followed byTalking 12.55 Four-Matlons: George and Big Feature takes a close-up look The Fessl & Firkin Los Angeles Police DepaitmenL X's Rosemary, followed by In And at successful singer Joan Woodhouse Lane. Leeds But he comes up against his 10.30 Newsnlght Out; Pink Komkommer Armatradlng. The Three l& ggjiil Dog Club toughest job yet, when a 11.15 The Late Show Mojo Working 4.15 Noisy Mothers, look at the rock Ian Cognito and The Amazing Brian and heavy metal music scene, gangster needs controlling. 11.55 Weatherview FILM; The Lion Has Wings Plus compere Mr Dtayton 12.00 Hamlet Workshop. Wank wank from a different venue each week. 12,50 Weather (1939). Fascinating Alexander Tickets E6/C4 advance (more on the door) wank. 5.10 Jobfinder 12.55 Close Korda Second Wortd War Doom Open 8pm 12.25 Reflections On Assessing 5.30 News propaganda film. Comedy starts 9pm (ish) Clinical Chances; 12.55 Close Leeds University Union Old Bar The only Bar in Leeds which knows Y O U R exam timetable. We can guarantee enough staff at the bar when your last exam finishes and we will open earlier on Saturdays just to ensure that you can have that well earned drink (alcoholic or otherwise). Also look out for special 'end of exam' pricing. Leeds University Union run by students fo r students film thursday 1 pi‘k of the day UaM Ctnoma 6.00 Business Breakfast MCBUM.UMdi 6.00 GMTV 7.00 BBC Breakfast News (pii3)2 Aeran 1. Gifnlt meteor would be of pest importance, I, Brood over misfortune - tike tiauiubul the (5-10) Cannibal? (3,4,5.3) X Nothiny m backing tport for u*klicr\ (6) 3_ Clirthrx which are a gicul succev» with the 10. Glutting pa! could make move to cad cheat police','(4,4) (8) ■ 3, Coll for hwlp after initially sinking olf Scotland fi.Dndst a. onnftned watting for the (3) let (9) 4. Miff flip round if you mo isc the volume. |71 Anna • t. Hornpipe 3 AVimc9_ Aoid Ram 13. Fnvounjhlc odd* - odd one! (5) 5. Make Rita a crown (S) ULSeaaM 1 t.fikfliub IX 14. The first correct answer 14. TUle makes father tc*c energy. <3) 6. Uncooeiou* fatnuences tin n I'm ajood k)vc on Btafcuok I &RbU lomfe 21. Ankles 31 drawn front a tun will win a IS- Difficult shaver takes time to gather <7) theSabtuih. (6) BmJtantl 24 Ongen 11 trinnil Jn liwmal £5 Austicics voucher. Send l& Bttaftit Mate wtaae >«m ceaae to exM n an «it all iri 6th 27; Oa and eft your answer* to; iadividnal (7) Century Pope's wags 0 Letds Student Newspaper, 19. Little associattoo with dull jwtsnu r3) 9 Coated walls when drunk. (9> Dow - I.EHane'slicartaalS. R k ip ri Leeds University Union, 31. Qum poor jacket (5) IX Too ta for a flat? (S. 4) SOS 4. Amplify 5 Tnan i' laqoa l. PO Box 157, 22 TTie«'» away round the name in jumblol 11. Mata music t ttuu with Ade (S, 3) Gngonan dunCs 9. Hilwaf IlSpagtyw l^eda LSI 1UB. deed* • I'U iIkm WMMradtoiem the wede. (9) 18. Ancicnt part iif Middle East.- where donkey' 5 [X AfiaM Pcfft. Aisyri* 3Q. SvMopa 23- 24 Rbnrtroi>»sihllity alter overdose, to iiv«t'/rf) Nutaa2S Lai Answers must arrive by mrasnre how far gone. (8) 20. Cries of triumph heanl bom the second bead as noon, Wednesday 31 St May. 25. Depreutag -trt jo heavy. (6| Crossword devised by 26. Are Antipudeaa Ooda up againat these Sieve HIIL fcnviiHu inar%u|Hah ’ (9,61 AUSTICKS UNIVERSITY BOOKSHOP, 21 BLENHEIM TERRACE (JUST OPPOSITE THE UNIVERSITY) 0S32 432446 (BRANCHES THROUGHOUT THE CITY) FRIDAY 26 MAY SAT 3 7 N i v s u n 2 » m a y =p_“llp ifIt***— BREAKFAST SHOW I ALEX LOMBARDO MARK PUTTS i Hannoh&AU* I House 10-12AM Anthony Kan* 16RE6 EDWARDS SPARSE ■ m o u s ta c h e 2-1 PM ’OUT TO LUNCH I RADIO POPKID 12 3PM 1 MU ^■With Sebastian & Sam ■ (DREAM FM) cottA . "THattAew- (fao ctn u u t I FILE UNDER ROCK I CLASSICA 4W * PAUL RATHER iM a rk Walton 'm not sure why the BBC is making such a IN THE M IX I lea & k r is b S-7PM CHRIS MOOSE, big deal out of us censorship weekend; •SPM another Bank Holiday, another opportunity Music & Arts TC & DAVE HILL Ito fill the schedules with 'themed' ROCK FOR programming. H seems somewhat hypocritical with Lufc* D | DAN & THE PHAT given the amount of material they censor |THE FEVER MAN RAVERS themselves, but it's always a,pleasure to get to INI see films which have, for various reasons, been JANE P STREETUFE previously unseen on telly. This weekend (DREAM FM) they're showing Bad Taste (Saturday night, MIKE MORRISON 12.15am, BBC2), the blood-soaked comic/sci-fi E BLOC dam * chart YARDBIRD LIVE feature debut of New Zealand director Peter Jackson. The tale of a band of aliens who come LAI RE ROWLAND to earth to find meat to use in their fast-food LSD VS 5.0 restaurants, Tasie is loaded with disgusting gore Map house/techno effects, chainsaw mayhem (Tm bom again) ) IJ MOWGU and gratuitous sheep detonation. As one of the characters rejoices. Good one.1" ungle DJ MOWCU Also showing in the season are the notorious ELLAR TORTOISE Ken RuBsell classic The Devils (Monday, 1050pm, BBC2) which caused the censors no [«hno STELLAR TOTROISE end of headaches bade in 1971 and is still fairly strong stuff and The Night Porter (Sunday, IN THE BATHTUB 11.05pm, BBC2) with Dirk Bogarde as an ex- House/Jazi/lndie CLAIRE ROWLAND Nazi having an affair with Charlotte Rampling. JAY Bond Ambient/Chill More conventional Bank Holiday fare in the CLASSICA shape of superspy 007. The first Bond film Dr. No (Monday, 4.45pm, 1TV) features Sean By M ark ______Connery going one-on-one with a tarantula and Ursula Andress stepping out the water in that bikini. Just as the funniest Woody Allen films were the early ones, so the best Bond films were the early, 'serious' ones. Clint Eastwood's enjoyed something of a revival over the lost couple of years. He scooped a lifetime achievement award at this year*s U N ~ CENSORED Oscars and scored hits with Unfvrgmen and In The Line Of Fire. This week there's an opportunity to catch up with two of his lesser works, The Outlaw foeie Wales (Saturday, 10.40pm, BBC1) is a western in which the soft- spoken one eels some of his best ever one liners while Heartbreak Ridge (Wednesday, 9pm, ITV) is basically Dirty Harry with army fatigues and better guns. Here, Eastwood is the tough- talking, wizened old drill-sergeant with a bunch of .slack marines on his hands. I think you can all see where this one's headed; Ctint has to get them into shape and he shows them exactly how thingsare done. T h riU s More low-kev thrills in Blind Alley (Thursday late, 12.20am, ITV) Which is a weird take on the Wtfniss plot from cult director Larry Cohen. In tins variation, the killer comes to live with the mother of the kid who's watched him carry out a hit killing. Cohen, Who also made nuAhtbUlance,ltfs Alive (about killer babies) and Q.brings his usual wit and sparse style to TV bear on, this fairly unusual tale. 4 e « t v - c k Gangsters feature pretty heavily in the Humphrey Bogart vehicle High Stems (Sunday, S i # 1.15pm, Criannel 4) which was showcased TV 101 - Channel four circa 1991 recently in Martin Scorcese's programme cm the nights out history of American cinema, lit it, Bogart plays a Channel Pour's best kept secret, TV hoodlum on the run after a bank job has gone 101, could have launched a thousand somwhat badly. Co-written by John Huston television careers. The weekly shcrw nstead of staying in featured a collection of jocks and jockettes who directed me king of all heist-gone-awiy IHpbepuballdayims films. The Asphalt jungle, with Manlyn Monroe. poncing about with video cameras under Bank Holiday Monday (or Martin Scorcese gets his. own work the tutelage of a cool Canadian ex- revising, even), why not get out o f __ I professional cameraman. The claSS made showcased too, this week. New York, New York Leeds 6fOT the night, and check out (Sunday, 10pm, Channel 4) is one of his more video diaries documenting their various some of the events nappening in West minor works (relatively speaking)but it w ailky angsty experiences, The cast Yorkshire in theevening? contains sterling work from Liza MineUiand featured the obUgatorychararacters of The Maestro in Bradford plays host to At longtime Scorcese associate'Robert DeNiro who American teen soaps. There was the Her Majesty* Pleasure, seven hours of top actually learned to play tire saxophone for this nerdy, spotty kid who was into dance tunes including sets from Jon of the film about romance arid jazz music. computers. There was the poor kid froim Pleased Wimmin andjeremy Healey. the ghetto, who was all right, despite Calisto’s in Hudd ersfieldis the venue for Flash being black, and there was the Essence, where between 9.30 and 2am, you can relationship between the cheerleader babe hear the Hacienda's Tom Wainwrlght and Raj Mick Jagger hasn't made as big a - and the captain of the football team who Aquilla, plus a live PA from Shiva. was rather amusingly named Chuck contribution to the wide world of movies as he Meanwhile, over at Cosmo's in Leeds 7, has to that of music (go see him in Freejaek) but Bender (fnar fnar). House, Hip hop and J ungle come together TV 202 was a television classic. In the he is the chief attraction in Nic Roeg and Don for a Bank Holiday Speaal between 9pm Cammel's Performance (Sunday late, 230pm, same vein as The Wonder Years, it was and 4am. You can catch some exclusive J BBC2). He plays host to James Fox, a gangster schmaltzy without the self-consciousness jangle tracks^ and sets from some of hiding out at /agger's London house. The film is of Running the Halls- Like The Coebv Show, Leeds' top Soul DJs. it created a cosy little world, but didn't what von might expect from Roeg; quick cutting -rely on Bill Cosby's goofy faces for gags. and flashy imagery, but it remains powerful and V Tv 101, 1 salute you. disturbing stun. V______—