Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Winter 2-6-2009

Volume 44 - Issue 16 - Friday, February 6, 2009

Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

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Recommended Citation Rose Thorn Staff, "Volume 44 - Issue 16 - Friday, February 6, 2009" (2009). The Rose Thorn Archive. 145. https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn/145

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This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Newspaper at Rose-Hulman Scholar. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Rose Thorn Archive by an authorized administrator of Rose-Hulman Scholar. For more information, please contact [email protected]. T HE R OSE T HORN R OSE -H ULMAN I NSTITUTE OF T ECHNOLOGY T ERRE H AUTE , I NDIANA FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 2009 ROSE-HULMAN.EDU/THORN/ VOLUME 44, ISSUE 16 Erhart, Barron take top SGA spots News Briefs Tim Ekl friends and anyone that was By Andrew Klusman Photo Editor involved in a social and fra- ternal organization to talk tudent Government As- to their friends about it, and Kyrgyzstan wants sociation elections took then I went door-to-door to Splace last Wednesday, every single dorm on campus bringing with them new lead- as well as the fraternities to to close U.S. base ership for the organization that talk to people. The government of Kyrgyzstan has provides Rose-Hulman stu- RT: How did it feel to find asked their parliament to close the dents with on-campus involve- out you won? United States air base in Kyrgyzstan. ment. Sarah Erhart, a junior SE: It was definitely very Government spokesman Aibek Sult- chemistry with a double major exciting. I really wanted it. angaziyev has stated the reason for in biochemistry and molecular It was somewhat of a bitter- the move is popular disapproval of biology, won the presidency by sweet victory. I do like Marsha the base. The air base is the only U.S. about 60 votes; while Cody Bar- [Krisenko], and I like her as a base in central Asia, and is crucial for ron, a sophomore biomedical person. It was hard running the support of U.S. and North Atlantic major, took the vice-presiden- against her, because she was Treaty Organization (NATO) forces in cy by a mere 6 votes. The Rose vice-president last year, and Afghanistan. President Bakiyev stated Thorn sat down with Erhart it was hard to see her disap- that the base was set up in 2001 to help and Barron to talk about their pointment. the U.S. military fight the Taliban and campaigns and victories. RT: What are some of the al-Qaeda in Afghanistan, and was only Sarah Erhart, SGA president things that you want to get to remain open for two years at the Rose Thorn: Why did you done? most. The move to close comes after $2 decide to run for the presi- SE: One of the first things billion in Russian aid was promised to dency? I’ve already started work- the Kyrgyzstan government. Sarah Erhart: The main rea- ing on is the meal plans. The son I decided to run is just other big thing is just making that I really think the students’ sure that SGA holds events for Rose-Hulman SGA Gas prices on voices need to be heard. I al- all of campus, whether it be Sarah Erhart, President of Rose-Hulman Student Government ways hear a lot of students talk more tailgating or something Association, was elected to her new office which she will now to people and have these great like that, making sure that hold through winter quarter 2010. the rise? ideas, but they’re just not be- we reach everyone and not Gas prices may rise again in the ing heard on campus. I believe the same group over and over coming weeks as refiners cut back on I can facilitate that. The other again. and I’ve already started doing RT: How do you feel about fuel production due to sagging profits big reason is that I’ve been in- RT: Do you feel you’re ready that with Adler [Edward]. Cody as your VP? and weakening demand. A gallon of volved in SGA and I feel that it for the transition? RT: Has it been strange SE: I’m confident that Cody gas has risen 22 cents since early Janu- was a natural transition to go SE: Yeah, definitely. I feel like transitioning from [former will do an excellent job. It’s ex- ary to $1.91, and could reach $2 a gal- from treasurer to president. I’ve pretty much taken over. president] Adler [Edward]? citing to work with somebody lon in the coming weeks, according to One of the things done as pres- SE: No. Adler and I have sim- that you don’t know every- the travel group AAA. At least seven RT: What did you do during ident to be at all the big insti- ilar views about most things, thing about. I think it’ll be a refineries are cutting fuel production, the campaign? tute meetings as well as weekly so he’s been good about help- good term. including ConocoPhilips and Valero SE: I definitely told all my meetings with Pete Gustafson, ing me out. Continued on Page 3... Energy Corp.\, the nation’s largest fuel producers. At the end of January, re- finers were operating at 82.5 percent Jakubowski supports Public Service Academy of capacity, which is four points lower than last year. Noel Spurgeon Public Service Academy would S t a f f W r i t e r be a federally subsidized four- year college at which more ose-Hulman President than 5,000 students would TV analog Dr. Gerald Jakubowski receive an intensive under- Rrecently endorsed the graduate education in service switch delayed U.S. Public Service Academy and leadership development. Act, joining more than 70 lead- After graduation, the students On Wednesday, the House of Rep- ers in higher education from would be required to serve in resentatives voted to delay the switch colleges and universities across education, health care, or an- from analog television to digital televi- the country in supporting the other public service field for sion by four months, which the Senate foundation of a civilian coun- five years. had approved last month. President terpart to military academies “It sounds like a great idea,” http://uspublicserviceacademy.org/ Obama is expected to sign the bill into like West Point and the U.S. Na- says Dr. Jakubowski. “We have law soon. The backers of the delay are val Academy. the military academies, where A sketch of what the U.S. Public Service Academy could look like worried that 20 million people in the The Public Service Academy we send them and off they go following its approval by the U.S. government. United States are unprepared for the Act was introduced in March of to work in the military, and switch to digital, after the government 2007 by Senators Hillary Clin- it seems to me that having a foundation of the Public Service a group of men and women ran out of financing for the TV con- ton (D-NY) and Arlen Spec- public service academy is an- Academy would be several years making decisions on the future verter boxes. The legislation allows ter (R-PA), and Representa- other way of having educated away and that in the meantime, of this country that should be broadcasters to switch to digital before tives James Moran (D-VA) and people to work for the country Rose-Hulman students should based on science and engi- the new date. The switch from analog Christopher Shays (R-CT). The in the public service sector.” consider public service as a pos- neering who are making de- to digital has been in the process since Act will establish America’s first Although Dr. Jakubowski’s en- sible career choice. cisions without any kind of a 1996, and the spectrum freed from an- public college devoted solely to dorsement of the Public Service “If you look at the number background. That’s why we alog TV usage will be used for public developing civilian leaders for Academy will “not effect/im- of people serving in Congress, should have more scientists safety purposes. the public sector. Modeled on pact Rose-Hulman in any way,” there’s a very small percentage and engineers serving [the] military service academies, the he emphasized that the actual who are engineers. We have government.” In this issue of the Rose Thorn... Datenomics... Athlete of the Don’t sleep through

OPINIONS Week:

NEWS your birthday

F Sutton Coleman LIPSIDE ENTERTAINMENT4 LIVING 6 3 3-D, a change for Consensus Sciences 8 Engineers’ Week 5

the worse? 7SPORTS

8 PAGE -

NEWS - PAGE 3 ENTERTAINMENT - PAGE 4 LIVING - PAGE 5 OPINIONS - PAGE 6 SPORTS - PAGE 7 FLIPSIDE 2 PUZZLES & CLASSIFIEDS The Rose Thorn Rose-doku Crypto-Quote of the Week By Melissa Brumbaugh By Melissa Brumbaugh Instructions: Instructions: Use the letters: E N G I N R W K L to fill in Solve the puzzle by deciphering the following quote and the missing spaces. Be sure not to repeat figure out from which movie the quote is. Each letter rep- any letter in each row, column, or 3x3 resents a different letter in the alphabet. square. E Hint (Solution = Crypto): A = O B = C C = J W G E R JCKXHKL, GLOS’QS. RMCX’J-C OCXXSQ RHXM N ______, _ _ _ _’_ _. _ _ _ _’_-______N G I R L TLP? H XMHKI TLPQ FQCHK HJ ZLHKZ JLDX L N G I _ _ _? ______L K R N DQLO CVV XMCX GLOSUT TLP’QS BVCTHKZ N I N ______’______K E W RHXM XMCX TLPKZ ZHQV. KSWSQ XSVV L K ______. ______CKTFLUT LPXJHUS XMS DCOHVT RMCX Celebrate “Wave All Your Fingers at ______

Your Neighbors Day” Saturday! TLP’QS XMHKIHKZ CZCHK! _ _ _’______! Find the answers to all Rose Thorn puzzles at: http://www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn CLASSIFIEDS 3 TWO 6 BEDROOM HOUSES FOR RENT House for rent Apartment for rent Reserve your housing NOW for 09/10 school year. 3bd., 4bd., spacious, quiet for study, EXTRA Several 5 minute drive to campus from town, several Large, furnished three bedroom apartment. Nine month near S. 6th and College Ave. Large, private bedrooms, NICE! Call 232-6977 after 11 am, leave ph #. lease available, $600 per month rent includes all utilities 2 plus baths, C/A, 2 car garages, all utilities included, except phone and cable. Contact Dr. Ditteon (CL104, washer / dryer / fridge / range / and dishwasher. Clean Box 171, ext. 8247 or 299-5182) for more information. and well maintained with 24/7 service. 9-12 Mo Leases. In better neighborhood with ample parking. Rose and ISU occupied. 812-478-9286 The Rose Thorn Editorial Staff Thorn Staff CM 5037, 5500 Wabash Ave. Eli Baca Co-Editor-in-Chief Andrew Klusman Terre Haute, IN 47803-3999 Staff Writers Co-Editor-in-Chief Jim Sedoff Matthew Bryant Phone:(812)877-8255 Annie Bullock News Editor Scott Gallmeier Fax: (812)877-8166 Entertainment Editor Ben Collins Andrew Ernster Living Editor Melissa Brumbaugh E-mail: [email protected] Mitchell Ishmael Opinions Editor Christine Price http://www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn Lindsey Saxton Sports Editor Mike Ferguson Melissa Schwenk Humor Editor Matt Melton “Working to keep the Rose-Hulman community informed Elliot Simon Co-Copy Editor Tim Boyer by providing an accurate and Noel Spurgeon Co-Copy Editor Carly Baehr dependable source for news and information.” Hobey Tam Photo Editor Andrew Carlson Clint Thompson Layout Manager Cari Harper The Rose Thorn is published on Fridays Cartoonist Nick Easter first through ninth week each quarter. Administrative Staff Photographers Advertising Manager Lindsey Saxton Albert Mui Administrative Assistant Erin Parker Matt Vargo Business Manager Andrew Carlson Tim Ekl Webmaster Tom W. Most Advisor Richard House

The Rose Thorn welcomes and encourages comments from its readers. We request that all letters to the editor be less than 600 words in length. THE DEADLINE FOR CONTENT SUBMISSION IS 5 P.M. THREE DAYS PRIOR TO PUBLICATION All content should be submitted to [email protected] or to the Rose Thorn Office (Hulman Memorial Union room 249). The editors reserve the right to edit submissions for clarity, grammar, length, and factual errors. The editors reserve the right to accept content changes submitted after deadline. All letters must contain the writer’s signature (electronic form is acceptable) and contact information (e-mail address and/or phone number). The views expressed in the Rose Thorn are those of the original author and do not necessarily represent the views of the Rose Thorn staff or Rose-Hulman community. Friday, February 6, 2009 NEWS 3 Juicy Campus SGA, Page 1 signs offline, finan- cially unstable Cody Barron, SGA vice-presi- RT: What are some of the dent things you want to get done? Daniel Gross RT: Why did you decide to CB: I want to be more of an T he Towerlight run for the vice-presidency? assertive leader. When I make Cody Barron: I enjoy cam- a decision, I stand by my deci- As of Thursday Feb. 5, Towson pus involvement, and I’m very sions and normally have rea- University’s campus, among oth- involved right now. My leader- son and support for my deci- ers across the country will no lon- ship skills – I’d like to put them sions. ger be able to post “juicy” anony- to better use and lead forty RT: What are you most look- mous comments online. people in discussion about our ing forward to about being JuicyCampus.com has an- current topics at Rose-Hulman, vice-president? nounced through a press release like budgets for all the clubs CB: I’m really looking forward they are closing down the Web site and E-week events. We [also] to the leadership opportunity, due to plummeting ad revenue and talk about sponsoring a tailgat- and getting more acquainted lack of venture capital funding. ing party, stuff like that. with Dr. J, Pete, and Tom Miller. In the press release, Web site RT: What was it like getting RT: Where do you think you founder and CEO, Matt Ivester your name out there for the might go from here? Are you thanked all of the users for read- vice-presidency? considering a run for the presi- ing, contributing, and telling oth- CB: I didn’t really do any- dency? ers about the site. He also thanked thing. I just sent out a few CB: I am, but we’ll see how others for engaging in “meaningful emails to some friends, telling this year goes and how the ju- discussion” about online privacy them to vote. nior year curriculum treats me. and Internet censorship. RT: How did you feel when RT: How do you feel about The site has received a fair you won? Sarah Erhart? Have you amount of criticism toward the CB: Before I knew that I won, worked with her before? idea of spreading gossip-like in- I knew that it would be a tough CB: I’ve worked with her on formation about individuals on race. I wasn’t really nervous, I the Finance Committee, and I Rose-Hulman SGA campuses. was just more anxious to find believe she’s a good choice for The site was banned on Tennes- out who won. Once I found out, president. I think she is confi- Cody Barron, Vice-President of Rose-Hulman Student Government As- see State University’s campus serv- I was excited. I’m ready to take dent and can make good deci- sociation, was elected to his new office which he will now hold through er and other states had considered office and get stuff done. sions as well. I voted for her. winter quarter 2010. taking legal action. Towson Presi- dent Robert Caret spoke with his top advisers about the site before Engineers’ Week offers opting to not ban it on campus. U.S. House Bill proposes “I think it’s everything that we campus fun don’t want people to do in terms Lindsey Saxton lieve some stress. Derek Archer, tuition tax breaks of interacting and communicating Staff Writer freshman biomedical engineer- with each other,” vice president ing student said, “It was fun, for student affairs Deb Moriarty Rose-Hulman is known for its and I got to beat up my friend.” Nicole Glass down the line and enhance our said. “I find it very encouraging free events and pick-me-ups. Wednesday brought a viewing T h e E a g l e society.” and hopeful [that they are shutting Such treats are found during of “Wall-E” and pizza in the GM The new economic stimulus down].” SGA’s celebrations of Engineers Room. “It was good. It helped me The U.S. House of Repre- bill that passed through the According to Moriarty, the Web Week. Starting on Monday, Feb- let off some stress,” said Meredith sentatives passed the bill that House benefits those who do not site did not have too much of an ruary 2 and ending on Friday, Hegwood, frshman optical engi- would provide an $819 billion pay taxes and covers academic impact on Towson’s campus. She February 6, this week is a celebra- neer. Thursday was many stu- economic stimulus package, expenses such as textbooks, was under the impression that very tion of engineers and engineer- dents’ favorite because it brought which would make millions of which the Hope Tax Credit does few students spent a lot of time on ing. The week kicked off with free free popcorn in the Commons students eligible to receive a tu- not cover. The new bill would it or posted things. hot cocoa and Square Doughnuts for everyone. “The free popcorn ition tax break, according to The also increase the cutoff for sin- “My guess was that if it had been on Monday morning, a delicious was delicious,” said Arjun Co- Chronicle Review. gle taxpayers to $90,000, and for working, it would have found the treat, Bri Butchart, senior chemi- mar, freshman physics student. Low- and middle-income joint taxpayers to $180,000, ac- economy,” she said. “It was so con- cal engineering student said: Friday will bring Tailgating for students who do not qualify for cording to the Review. troversial that they can hide be- “The hot cocoa really warmed up Class in the Quad at 11 a.m. “En- the Hope Tax Credit could ben- The economic stimulus plan hind the economy but I’ve got to a blustery day.” Tuesday brought gineers’ Week had a bunch of efit from the new bill, including will give $150 billion to U.S. believe that some of it was because games and inflatables at night in really fun activities to take your students from American Uni- school districts, childcare cen- it wasn’t a good product.” the ARA. An inflatable obstacle mind off impending doom… just versity. ters and universities, according Moriarty said she does not see course, laser tag, and a ‘boxing kidding,” said Anneliese Voss, Some AU students said they to The New York Times. This is any positives in the gossip and that ring’ were available so students freshman chemical engineering support the bill, since it will en- the largest increase in federal it has negative connotations. could enjoy themselves and re- student. hance opportunities for those aid since education expendi- Student Government Associa- who cannot afford college on tures increased after World War tion president Kristen Guy said their own. II. there were comments about her Many prospective and current On Jan. 28, without a single listed on the site, among others. college students are not eligible Republican vote, the $819 bil- “I just found it weird [that they for the Hope Tax Credit, which, lion economic stimulus plan are closing] because I thought it according to the IRS Web site, is passed the House, according to was popular among a lot of college a federal individual income of the Times. campuses,” Guy said. “I hated the up to $1,650 for qualified tuition David Wolkowicz, a freshman site to begin with. I hated the idea and other academic expenses. in Kogod, said he believes the of the site. The idea that you’re able To obtain the Hope Tax Credit, government’s increased spend- to post something and not link a student’s parents must make ing on education will help not your name to it really drove me in- less than $58,000 as a single tax- only current students but also sane.” payer or less than $116,000 as the future of the American so- According to Guy, as far as Tow- joint taxpayers. ciety. son’s campus, the site was used Students whose parents make “Making tuition more afford- and well known, however; the less than $26,000 a year and who able should be a huge priority popularity was decreasing toward do not pay income taxes can- for the Obama administration,” the end of last semester. Guy said it not benefit from the Hope Tax he said. “Prioritizing education, was most prevalent within Frater- Credit either, according to the especially for lower income in- nity and Sorority Life. Review. As a result, wealthier dividuals, is essential for main- “With individual names that students who still qualify would taining our standard of living were thrown on that site - it just have received the biggest tax and economic dominance in attacks individuals so cruelly and breaks, according to the Review. the future.” viciously,” Guy said. “You sit there The new economic stimulus bill Michael Kuna, a sophomore and you think, ‘who wrote that would allow an additional 4 mil- in the Kogod School of Busi- about me?’ You just want to know.” lion low- and middle-income ness, said he thinks the tuition Guy said she thinks that gossip students to receive a tuition tax tax break is exactly what soci- is never good and the thought that break. ety needs to help students who there is fun in lighthearted gossip Frank Carbone, a sophomore cannot afford to go to college on is an oxymoron. in the Kogod School of Business their own. In the press release, Ivester and the College of Arts and Sci- “I think this is a good thing,” wrote, “While there are parts of ences, said he believes a tuition he said. “Let it trickle down. It JuicyCampus that none of us will tax break would be beneficial to seems that the tides are turn- miss - the mean spirited posts and society. ing. When education is avail- personal attacks - it has also been “Investment in higher edu- able [through government a place for fun, lighthearted gossip Tim Ekl/ Rose Thorn cation is a long-term invest- funding] and the idea is pushed of college life. I hope that is how it (Above) students have a fun time Tuesday night in the inflatable boxing ment,” he said. “It will help the by a greater institution, people is remembered.” ring, one of many inflatable relief zones for Engineers’ week. (Below) the U.S. economically and socially can have a foundation to go get The letter was signed by saying, band Cloudchase performs for the Rose-Hulman community. ... It will pay dividends for years an education somewhere.” “Keep it juicy.” 4 ENTERTAINMENT The Rose Thorn The problems with the The American ideals and how coming wave of 3-D Clint Eastwood shows ‘em off

Ben Collins children’s titles such as “Bolt” Hobey Tam grants, reminiscent of his Entertainment and “Journey to the Center of Staff Writer former Korean enemies. E d i t o r the Earth.” “Bolt” does have His sons, granddaughters, some implications for the fu- It is easy to spot an old war vet and grandsons are noth- Often enough in the enter- ture of Pixar’s production mind- when you see one—stony face ing more than disrespect- tainment industry there are set and the industry as a whole; etched by wrinkles, notable jaw ful, spoiled brats. On top arguably “good” marketing another upcoming Pixar title, line due to multiple blows to the of all this, Latino, Korean, strategies presented to produc- “Up,” will also be distributed face, beady eyes glazed over from and African American ers. In the video game industry, in 3-D and competitor Dream- warfare, and the most defi ning gang bangers roam the producers see the major suc- works will be releasing “Mon- characteristic: the stone cold per- streets without fear or re- cesses of one game and borrow sters versus Aliens” in the same spective on life. Clint Eastwood spect. In essence, Kowal- from the formula that made it fashion. Children’s movies will assumes this role as a Korean War ski represents old school good; people like the “Halo” most likely be produced in veteran, Walt Kowalski, knocking America, living in a time series, so many first-person 3-D for the upcoming year, but back shots at the bar with other where many have devi- shooter games have been re- it is also spreading to major old vets in “Gran Torino” to, a ated from morals, values, leased in order to reach that movie franchises; “Harry Potter moving story of a true American. and respect he held dear. level of success. One problem and the Half Blood Prince,” “Ice Speaking with harsh, blunt, “Gran Torino” is a story with this mentality is that many Age 3,” and “Final Destination: and stark diction, Walt Kowalski is of atonement—Kowalski low-quality productions get re- Death Trip 3-D” are scheduled nothing short of your stereotypi- is the ultimate anti-hero. leased. The productions are still for release later this year in the cal aged Korean War veteran; he Anyone who has an ounce purchased, viewed, etc., but the same format, foretelling this as is one of those men who stares of American patriotism industry suffers a stagnation of a standard for 2009. into the eyes of lung cancer, takes would venture out and creativity waiting for some bril- In some ways, it’s a welcome a deep hit of his cigarette, and pay the price of a movie liant change of pace. change, and titles like “Final blows the smoke right into its ticket to see this spectac- http://www.imdb.com An example of this stagna- Destination” could use a re- face. His hand guns are stashed ular picture. Nominated tion that has afflicted the video vitalization of the brand with throughout the house loaded and for a multitude of awards, includ- sify “Gran Torino,” it’s fair to call it game and movie industry for something as fun as 3-D. The his main fi rearm, an M1 Grarand ing the The Golden Globe for an American movie as it upholds some time is the focus on vi- questions are how far this trend from his service, is always nearby. Best Actor, “Gran Torino” is a very the ideals of our country. sual stimuli. In Many would call him racist; emotional and moving fi lm. In “Gran Torino” is most assur- video games, however, this is incorrect consid- short, it’s the story of a disgruntled edly one of Clint Eastwood’s best graphics and ering that his hatred and annoy- man renewing his faith in youth, fi lms and has some of the fi ner the “pretti- ance are indiscriminant—anyone passing on his wisdom, instilling vigilante characteristics we have ness” factor eyeing him wrong or sagging their morals, and standing up to do loved in his most memorable have become pants will get a warning growl and what is right. Though it is good, it characters, forcing us to look at paramount in if they persist, they will be staring is most assuredly not meant to be our desires to fi nd justice in our mainstream down the barrel of his 9mm Ber- a cheap thrill everyone can enjoy. lives and to stand up for what we production. retta. It is well paced with several mem- believe in. That said, ev- Walt is slowly being isolated in orable scenes where Kowalski erything else life. His wife passed away and one confronts the younger generation Reviewer rating: 5.0 elephants begins to de- by one his neighbors moved away as he comments on the loss of cline in qual- http://www.rainbowsyphony.com and to be replaced Hmong immi- American values. In fact, to clas- ity for the goal The most common form of 3D glasses are cheap, pa- of having the per framed models but the above is now the norm. cleanest, most polished game British worm to the rescue! possible. This is the same prob- will go and what the response lem afflicting the movie in- will be in how we as consumers dustry as studios have begun come to see movies? “Wormwood: Calamari Rising” producing stunning visuals by Movies in 3-D create a need any means necessary, espe- to see the films in theater, draw- Eli Baca cases, the group enjoys beer and cially with computer generated ing the public in to the currently Staff Writer pole-dancing at a bar run by one graphics. This has recently be- vacant cinemas to enjoy more of Wormwood’s ex-girlfriends. The come dramatically emphasized of an active experience than In 2004, LO-FI Comics & En- world of “Wormwood” consists of with the revival of 3-D cinema. simply watching highly detailed tertainment Magazine published multiple dimensions (including Movies in 3-D have been a two dimensional images on a short episodic serials titled “Worm- one strictly for Leprechauns), that minor amusement since their screen. This will probably help wood” that created a humorous can be traveled through using in- initial conception and have had bring back the waning audience, horror type of environment. Al- terdimensional gates (if you wanna little impact. However, due to but they will now demand more though the magazine itself ceased be legal) or using some pretty neat the rampant and unwavering visually stimulating produc- publication, IDW Publishing then devices that can rearrange your problem of peer-to-peer file tions than ever, leading to the collected those serials in a single molecules. Either way, humans sharing, producers and indus- ever apparent decline of qual- #0 issue called “The Taster” in still live in complete ignorance of try executives have most likely ity of story and plot. That being 2006 before releasing new stories the supernatural, so Wormwood opted to force patrons to be in recognized, the films of the next in the form of several miniseries, is free to do as he pleases as long the theater with the promise of year and beyond will most likely the most recent being “Calamari as he pays his tab at the bar. “Cala- “eye-popping 3-D,” and to an be more juvenile, or more sim- Rising.” “Wormwood: Gentleman mari Rising” continues with the extent, it should be effective in ply put, the quality of films will Corpse” is the second solo comic story of Wormwood, bringing old drawing in audiences. greatly decline to such a point book series by Eisner award nomi- enemies out to destroy Earth, and Most of the titles that have that people will demand a re- nated creator Ben Templesmith showing some of the past of the been released are harmless to turn to form or we sink further (the fi rst being “Singularity 7”). little worm. Oh, and Elvis is in it. http://www.darkhorse.com the industry because they are and further into mediocrity. Unlike the bleak post-apocalyptic Templesmith pokes fun at al- makes part of his characters very world of “Singularity 7,” “Worm- most everything, from the fi rst as- detailed while others are strictly wood” is a lighter series which tronauts on the moon to Brad Pitt, up to the imagination. His art has combines humor and horror. and does it all while still giving us a tight tone to it, but it remains Created, written, and drawn by the gore factor that we enjoy so loose and fl owing, and uses only Templesmith, “Wormwood” is a much from him. “Wormwood” certain colors to help shape what one-of-a-kind series that brings as a series is very adult and very the audiences sees. stellar, hilarious writing to a hor- dark, but it’s the humor of the In 2008, “Wormwood” received rifi c style of art. The story revolves characters that makes this comic an International Horror Guild around Wormwood, a really old a real treat. An example, you say? Award, and Templesmith has worm-type creature that inhabits As Wormwood is about to be giv- been nominated for multiple Eis- and uses corpses of dead people en over to a queen squid-thing so ner Awards four years in a row for Music: Movies: to walk around on the Earth, drink that she can suck the life out of his work. He’s signed an exclusive beer, and occasionally save the him, we get a glimpse at the outfi t contract with IDW publishing, Busta Rhymes Coraline world. He’s built a robot friend, that the Queen wants him to wear, but is also working with Warren B.O.M.B named Pendulum (Mr. P), and has and it’s none other than an exact Ellis on another series, “Fell.” Cur- Pink Panther 2 an ex-stripper-immortal-guard- replica of the outfi t Princess Leia rently however, Templesmith has ian-bodyguard (Phoebe) who wore for Jabba the Hutt—chain been working on another comic Missy Elliott Push keeps him company on his ad- included. of his own imagination, “Welcome Block Party ventures. A ghost that used to be a The drawing style of Temple- to Hoxford,” and will be working He’s Just Not cop when he was alive also hangs smith is also fantastic—it origi- with IDW’s own Chris Ryall on the That Into You out with the gang, usually ask- nally helped make “30 Days of upcoming “Groom Lake.” Dan Auerbach ing Wormwood and company to Night” so freaking scary—and it Keep it Hid look into cases with him and help continues to make the characters Reviewer rating: 4.5 elephants catch the bad guys. When they’re darker while still making them hu- not saving the world or solving man (or wormy, in this case). He Friday, February 6, 2009 LIVING 5 Making time for sleep Keya Wiggins habits that can lead to obesity. your busy schedule? The first rest are as follows: (1) develop a before going to sleep, and (6) Rose-Hulman Staff So why do we continue to put thing to focus on is time man- routine before going to bed, i.e. realize how important sleep is C o u n s e l o r off sleep? Research suggests that agement. If you manage your take a warm bath, listen to re- and that you deserve to rest! sleep deprivation may be an time effectively by working on laxing music, etc., (2) maintain As a part-time therapist and evolved function that was previ- assignments daily, keeping up a regular bedtime, (3) try to get This information is not in- a full-time doctoral student, I ously utilized during natural di- with the due dates on your syl- an average of 7-8 hours of sleep tended to diagnose, treat, or pre- have had many conversations sasters to fend off sleep. In these labi, and staying ahead when- a night, (4) turn your TV and vent any disease or disorder, nor with people over the years on the cases, one has to stay awake to ever possible, you will have time computer off (phone on silent) is it intended to replace a con- subject of stay alive. to sleep. Other recommenda- before getting in the bed, (5) sultation with a mental health sleep de- This may tions for getting a good night’s avoid caffeine at least 8 hours provider. privation. explain why More of- Even though you after con- ten than t i n u o u s l y not, peo- may not feel tired, losing a cer- ple report tain amount g e t t i n g your brain is, in of sleep, you less sleep may no lon- than they fact, performing at a ger feel tired. would like Researchers to. I must “much lower level. have dem- a d m i t onstrated, that this h o w e v e r , is some- that even thing that though you I have may not feel been guilty of myself in the past. tired, your brain is, in fact, per- However, in my case, this was forming at a much lower level. something that was fairly short- Generally speaking, when lived due to my inability to func- you do not get an average of 7-8 tion on little or no sleep. hours” of sleep a night, you are Sleep deprivation is a topic not getting enough of level 3 that has been researched in psy- and 4 sleep, which is also known chological and medical com- as deep sleep. This is when your munities for 100 years or more. brain is thought to revitalize it- Researchers have consistently self, replenishing neuron con- demonstrated that sleep de- nections, etc. Suffice it to say, if privation can result in inatten- you do not give your brain time tiveness, diminished ability to to rest, it is not going to have the store and process information, capacity to function at its peak http://www.smart-kit.com/ performance errors, delayed level of performance. So, how A Rose-Hulman Staff Counselor gives us advice on how to get enough sleep and avoid ending up like this reaction times, and poor eating can you make time to sleep with guy. How to: Throw a birthday party A girl’s guide for guys

Melissa Schwenk they gone to see a baseball game time monopolized for that day, Lindsey Saxton reputation of being undesir- Staff Writer every birthday? Have a sports in any way you can. A d v e r t i sing Manager able. Let’s just say you shouldn’t party with the game on and lots The party doesn’t have to be walk up to a girl and say, “Hi! I’m Birthdays just aren’t the same of snacks. Try to make the party expensive to be fabulous. The I started learning about the a CS.” If you’re lucky, she’ll look when you are far from home, as special as you can. They will most you will spend for a cake is major stereotypes as soon as I past it and try to get to know away from parents and friends be grateful that someone took twenty dollars (if you are spring- got to Rose. Let’s face it, there you. Worst case, she’ll run in the who have celebrated with you the time to celebrate with them. ing for the ice cream cake), but are some majors that have the other direction. for years. For most of the fresh- For a bonus, make it a surprise you can grab a cake mix from the men this is as foreign to them party. store and make it yourself if you Computer Science as being sick with no one to Surprise parties are the best have faith in your cooking skills. Do Don’t take care of them. If you have and not too hard to pull off. You can make homemade deco- •Try to act normal. •Forget that the goods are odd. a friend like this whose birthday To invite people without your rations if you feel the need and, She won’t. is coming up, take charge! Here friend finding out, make a secret if you are doing a themed party, •Remember, she’ll like the fact •Go on about the differences are a few simple steps to throw a event on Facebook that is invite everyone can borrow clothes to that you’re smart. between C and C++. fabulous birthday party. only. Enlist mutual friends to wear. If you want to have the •Help her if her computer isn’t •Freak out if she uses Windows. First things first: pick a friend help you plan it, as they might group go to the movies, see a working. and stalk them. No, don’t fol- have other ideas to help make a matinee. It’s cheaper and leaves •Talk to her and say hi when you •Follow her or drop by her room. low them great par- more money for candy and pop- see her. It’s called stalking. a r o u n d ty. Make corn. Plus, if you want to go to •Leave your room once in a •Bring its smell with you. sneakily. sure to in- dinner and a movie, seeing the while. Instead, ask It doesn’t only have vite your movie first leaves more time •Leave the Mountain Dew in the •Invite her to your room for what they f r i e n d ’ s for dinner and gives everyone fridge. some unless the empty cans are usually do to be for birthdays, o t h e r something to discuss. all in the recycling bin. for their friends to Have a few activities planned •Be social. It helps. •Think that, because a girl talk- birthday. either. Any reason to help cel- for the party. This can be ed to you, she’s your soulmate. Remember e b r a t e . games, such as Apples to Ap- what they celebrate is another Even if ples or sardines, or crafts, such tell you they don’t as painting birthday shirts (a Now, there are no stupid peo- sophomore year doesn’t include and try to “reason to procrasti- know you classic from any ten year old’s ple at Rose. There is a process to the tougher sophomore curricu- recreate it. very well, slumber party). Again, you can make sure of it. The civils have lum. Girls will give you a chance While you nate. who would get your cues from your friend a bad reputation for being less if you make sure they know may not be pass up the and their pictures. If you don’t intelligent simply because their you’re smart. able to hire chance to want to decide, you can have a a pony for a celebrate a few options and let the person Civil Engineerng carnival-themed party, you could birthday? celebrating pick. Just make sure Do Don’t bribe another friend to dress up Once you have the date everyone is wearing underwear •Talk about your classes. •Talk about soils. We all know as a clown. If they’ve celebrated picked, ask your friend to do so you dont have an awkward dirt + water = mud. with an ice cream cake for ten something” with you during that game of twister. •Let her know you have a lot of •Try to make jokes about civils. years, don’t bake cupcakes. If time. I once told a friend I was With these tips you should be work. you don’t want to outright ask celebrating a new scholarship able to plan a great party for any •Laugh when she makes a civil •Freak out. She’s just teasing you. them, do the next best thing: with friends and wanted her to of your friends. It doesn’t only joke. They’re funny. Facebook stalk them. come. Instead I surprised her have to be for birthdays either. •Tell her about labs. •Go into too much detail. Water Facebook photo albums are with all her friends in eight- Any reason to celebrate is an- runs downhill. your best friends when you ies garb, ready to watch “The other reason to procrastinate. •Let her know you’re athletic. •Be the stereotype that the want to see past parties. Try to Breakfast Club” and eat cake. If If you have something you Girls like athletes. dumb football players are civils. pick up on themes in them. Do you don’t have anything to cel- want explained, send your •Be careful talking about rock •It’s called rocks for jocks for a most of the albums involve cos- ebrate or can’t think of a ploy, questions to the Rose Thorn at formations. reason. tumes? Have a costume party. just invite them to a movie, [email protected]. You •Give her examples of when •Mention Percopo. It was your Legwarmers and side ponytails? or get a friend to occupy their just might see a How-To Article civils did well. one chance to redeem your- Throw an eighties party. Have time. Make sure you have their about it! selves, and you failed. 6 OPINIONS The Rose Thorn Concensus science seriously. Mark Minster

Matthew Bryant scientists—representing clima- consensus, instead using science I’ll warn you right now: this shouldn’t disappear when you’re Staff Writer tology, environmental sciences, to prove heliocentrism. Another week’s column is full of ire. alone on your computer. And geophysical sciences and related example would be when Alfred We- I’ve just finished reading again, to the large majority of re- At a school like Rose-Hulman, disciplines—debunking Gore’s so- gner proposed that South America through the results of the sur- spondents, those who wanted to things like science, reason and called “consensus” on anthropo- and Africa had experienced conti- vey that the Diversity Committee see more diversity programming, logic certainly come first. For genic global warming. This pool of nental drift. It took consensus fifty asked the “Office of Institutional more varied events, those who that reason, one should always intellectuals includes Nobel Prize years to acknowledge that the sea Research, Planning, & Assess- thoughtfully critiqued the tim- be skeptical when someone ment” (IRPA) to help us conduct ing of the convocation, expressed uses the idea of a consensus about programming we planned interest in helping the Diversity to make their point. Consider for MLK Day. To IRPA and to most Committee, or suggested an en- several recent examples. of those who participated in the tire day of service projects, I’m The recent economic stim- survey, thank you. Most of your not talking about you. I’m talking ulus put forth by President contributions—by far most—were about a handful of “this is just stu- Obama was hailed as the sav- very, very helpful. Suggestions pid” hit-and-run responders who ing grace for the economy. about publicity, scheduling, po- treat anonymity as an opportunity Obama himself stated, “There tential topics—these were all help- to be nasty. is no disagreement that we ful. Thank you. The other thing is more mun- need action by our govern- Not so helpful, however, the dane. I just want to point out how ment, a recovery plan that will faculty member who barked petu- foolish one can be with numbers. help to jumpstart the econ- lantly, “stop trying to use polls for A handful of student respondents omy.” Clearly he is using the political purposes… [or] where the were affronted by the convoca- idea of collectivity to sell his results are not then published.” tion schedule, which forced them plan. How accurate can that Once and for all, to everyone: if to “sacrifice 10 minutes” of class, be? you don’t want to take part in “wasting my time and therefore As it turns out, it’s not very something that’s intended for a my money,” “limiting the amount accurate at all. Last week, campus organization to provide of time I spend in class, which I’ve more than 200 notable econo- better programming, don’t take paid for in full.” “What makes you mists—including three Nobel part. (There’s no ethical obligation think MLK is so important that laureates—signed an open to publish the results of research you need to change my schedule letter in the New York Times like this. I looked that up.) Also, so that I can appreciate him?” challenging President Obama’s consider: even grumbling serves I know some of you divide yearly suggestion that all economists political purposes. tuition by the number of hours, or agree on a bailout. The head- Not so helpful, too, the five or even minutes, you spend in the line for the letter read, “With all six truly unintelligent comments classroom, so that you can tally due respect, Mr. President, that (I thought hard about this word what your education is worth per is not true.” Since the letter ran, “unintelligent,” but it’s the right unit of time. When you do it as a www.xkcd.com nearly 150 additional econo- one) about “all of this reverse dis- joke, it can be pretty funny—“Min- mists have signed the letter. There’s no “The Price is Right” this week. All I get is these captions. Wouldn’t crimination,” or about how “MLK’s ster, that last tangent of yours cost Moreover, not a single House it be wonderful if a politician had this shirt? I would totally vote for them. dream has almost been accom- me $2.50.” (BTW: I call them “se- Republican voted for the Bill. plished and we must not go too cants,” not tangents.) It would be There’s no consensus in that. winners, NASA employees and floors were in fact spreading, vin- far”; or about how, “if anything, fun, too, to figure out how many Another example of politicians even scientists from the United Na- dicating Wegner. colored people are treated better thousands of dollars you’ve spent using the idea of consensus comes tions’ own International Panel on History has shown us time and in America than whites” (literally, on Halo 3 or World of Warcraft. from global warming evangelist Al Climate Change, from which the again that agreements based on someone wrote “colored people”); When you’re serious, though, I Gore. Testifying before Congress, consensus is said to have come. consensus bring about unneces- or about how “recognizing race is question your skill with numbers. he stated, “There is no longer At the point that an individual sary consequences. People should immature.” Do you factor in the hours you any serious debate over the basic must resort to consensus agree- have more respect for themselves King’s dream was, in the words spend learning with others out- points that make up the consen- ment to convince the masses, it’s rather than believing in something of the prophet Amos, to see justice side of class? Do you consider the sus on global warming.” While already too late. It should be the due to a blind majority. The late roll down like waters, and right- intramurals you wouldn’t be play- Gore makes several convincing facts of the issue that do the work. Michael Crichton put it best when eousness like a mighty stream. ing if you weren’t here? What about arguments, any reasonable indi- At one point in our long history, he said, “Whenever you hear the How is it reverse discrimination job opportunities you wouldn’t vidual must question his idea of there was a consensus that the consensus of scientists agree on to spend part of a day recalling otherwise have had? What about consensus. Earth was the center of the uni- something or other, reach for that dream, to recall, if not to re- friends and colleagues? What A 231-page U.S. Senate Minor- verse. We can thank Copernicus your wallet, because you’ve being kindle, the clamoring for morality about the ways you’ve changed? ity Report describes 650 dissenting and Galileo for not buying into the had.” and good judgment (tsedaqah and Have you quantified those things? mishpat, in Hebrew)? How is any- Can you? Our MLK speaker quot- one being discriminated against ed King, who cited some chemists by that, except the immoral and that found “the average man has Letters to the editor the unjust? One continent diets; enough fat in him to make about another starves. Most of those who seven bars of soap… enough lime Dear Editor, me, this gave the impression that we were fighting starve are not white: at least 40 to whitewash a chicken coop… I am writing to express my frustration with Tim against the students and faculty, trying to gouge million Americans diet; at least 5 [and] all of this added up in terms Boyer’s choice of words in his article titled “All Out them with demands to donate money. It is true that times that number of Africans are of market values of the day came Penny Wars.” As a member of Delta Delta Delta, I we made several visits to the residence halls, but chronically malnourished. It’s im- to about ninety-eight cents…. Can was offended by his attitude towards the event. these expressions give the reader the impression mature to acknowledge that? It’s we explain the whole of man in First of all Boyer that we were doing this going too far? The dream has been terms of ninety-eight cents?” claimed that Penny Wars for our own benefit and accomplished? Seriously? If you think the value of an edu- went on “for seven whole I hope everyone re- not that of Riley Children’s Two things about this survey cation depends upon ten more days.” This information is Hospital. If the readers or struck me that have struck me minutes of lab or lecture—wheth- incorrect and is therefore members that Skinner… Tim Boyer feel(s) that they about other online survey results er you’re a student or a profes- poor journalism. We be- were harassed by the Tri- at Rose. The first is that, while most sor—you are fooling yourself. You gan collecting for Penny is being rewarded with Delta sorority for money, of us are thoroughly decent folk, a are overworked, no doubt, and the Wars on a Tuesday. Our I apologize. But I hope ev- very few get thoughtless and even overwork has temporarily fogged last round of collections a pancake breakfast for eryone remembers that cruel when they know their words your brain. Take a walk, perhaps, occurred on Friday eve- “ Skinner (which is where are anonymous. Decency and re- or read for pleasure, or look up at ning. This would not have their generosity. Tim Boyer lives) is being straint, the fact that there are still the stars. been a huge deal to me if rewarded with a pancake other people in the world—these A little perspective. it had not been stressed breakfast for their gener- by Boyer that each day we osity, which rivaled that collected was somehow a huge inconvenience for of the other residence halls. I hope that the whole campus. As mentioned before, Boyer starts the arti- campus doesn’t feel as bothered about giving mon- cle saying “For seven whole days.” Two other times ey as this article reflects. in the article he reiterates that statement in an even more negative manner saying “For seven grueling Sincerely, days,” and “After seven arduous days of battle.” To ” Mary Ellenberger To Mary, and “Make a Dish for Make A apologies on that error. While I would like to apologize for Wish,” in which the other two I don’t mean to throw salt on the “Penny Wars” article. Mr. sororities had also put in a sig- open wounds, I wouldn’t put too Boyer was attempting to em- nificant amount of work for their much emphasis on Tim Boyer’s phasize all the wonderful hard respective philanthropies. From tenancy in Skinner, since I do work that the Tri Deltas had my understanding, we were told believe there is an overwhelm- put into the event, not that they that Penny Wars was taking place ing population of Tri Deltas in B were being belligerent to their over a week, which we clearly Section. fellow students. This was meant misinterpreted as seven days www.praxishabitus.blogspot.com to draw parallels to the other rather than five (or rather, four) Sincerely, two articles, “Mr. Rose Pageant” business days. Please accept my Editor in Chief Serious MLK Jr. is serious. And looking towards a brighter future. Friday, February 6, 2009 SPORTS 7 Engineer Scoreboard Men’s Basketball Women’s Basketball Sutton 9-12 (4-8) 6-13 (3-9) January 31 January 31 Mt. St. Joseph 70 Mt. St. Joseph 47 Coleman at Rose-Hulman 67 at Rose-Hulman 62 February 4 February 4 Rose-Hulman 83 Anderson U. 49 OT at Anderson U. 77 at Rose-Hulman 42 Tim Boyer and it’s good to be able to chal- sound. Other running events C o p y E d i t o r lenge yourself like that. If you are like the 4-x-200 and the 4-x400 having a bad day in one event it’s are similar in that you have one Wrestling In the most recent of his ac- always good to be able to bounce shot to do what you need to do complishments, Coleman beat back in the next one. and you have to make it happen. January 30-31 his own best distance in the I love the feeling before any run- Wheaton Invitational triple jump with a length of 44’- RT: As a freshman, you currently ning event—they always get your Wheaton, Ill. Goble 5th 7”, strengthening his hold as the stand second all-time in the tri- adrenaline flowing. It’s a lot of second best triple jumper in Rose ple jump with a distance of 44’- fun. With triple jump there’s a lit- history. Coleman is only second 7”, only 3’-10” from the all time tle bit different mentality. It’s a lot to 1978 graduate Tony Allen, a record. Do you think you can calmer in the triple jump pit and Swimming and Diving contender in the U.S. Olympic make it to that distance during you can really think about what Trials in 1980 and 1984, who your Rose-Hulman career? you need to do in your jumps. January 31 holds the top distance at 48’-5”. SC: I would really like to get that You get four jumps so after every Principia Invitational In addition to his success in the record before my Rose career is one, while you’re waiting for the Elsah, Ill. M-1st, W-4th triple jump, he is also a top con- over. In high school my best jump next. you can take time to regain tender in field events such as the was only 42 feet 11 inches, but yourself and think about how to 4-x-200 and 4-x-400-meter relay great coaching and lots of prac- improve the next one. as the anchor leg. This past Satur- tice has really helped my tech- Track and Field day, he placed second and third, nique. I think after a few more RT: Do you have any hobbies respectively in those events, and years of fine tuning that distance outside of track and field? January 31 placed in 55-meter high hurdles. will definitely be reachable. SC: Well, I’m from Virginia, so Engineer Invitational Sutton Coleman recently took naturally I like outdoor things Elsah, Ill. M-3rd, W-9th the time to answer some ques- RT: Your 44’-7” jump is only 2’- like camping and fishing. I re- tions for The Rose Thorn. 2” from this years NCAA provi- ally like playing football, working sional qualifying distance. Do out, running, spending time with you think you could close that my friends, and watching sports. Rifle Rose Thorn: How long have you gap before the end of the sea- I also love taking my Jeep into been involved in track and son? places it really shouldn’t be in, January 31 field? SC: Right now my goal in triple and trying not to get stuck! Tennessee-Martin Invitational Sutton Coleman: I have been in- jump is to get that provisional Martin, Tenn. 4,402 volved in track and field since qualifying distance or farther. RT: What’s the most meaningful my junior year of high school, so Every meet I have felt a lot more award/recognition that you’ve about 3 years. confident with my jumps, and I received? think those two feet are definitely SC: In my opinion, recognition Upcoming Home Events RT: You are involved in a vari- possible. I would like to be able to from my coaches and team- ety of track and field events. shoot for that distance by the end mates is better than any award February 7 February 11 What drives you to stay active of the season. I have ever received. Just know- Rifle vs. Ohio State, 8:30a.m. Men’s Basketball vs. Hanover, in multiple events instead of fo- ing that you have that support Women’s & Men’s Basketball 7:30p.m. cusing on one or two? RT: Is there a different mentality from your coaches and team- vs. Transylvania, 1 & 3p.m. SC: I really like being involved in you have to be in when you’re mates really means a lot, and multiple events. Doing more than doing a field event like the tri- helps you perform better from one event really gives you the op- ple jump versus a track event day to day. When everybody portunity to see what you can do like the 4-x-200? picks each other up you can in several different types of races. SC: Every event has a different really feel that you belong to a I like going right from a hurdle mentality. With the hurdles you strong group of people. We have post-game rundown race to triple jump because they have to focus on being quick, a lot of support on our team and are two totally different things smooth, and fundamentally I really like that. Jim Shaw ended up shooting almost Head Men’s 70% in the second half (plus 3- Basketball Coach 6 from the floor and 8-10 from the line in overtime) due to [Editor’s note: The men’s bas- better movement, taking care ketball team faced a challenge of the ball and not settling for when they travelled to Ander- O.K. shots when we were ca- son to take on the Ravens in pable of getting great shots. conference action Wednesday We stayed pretty solid at the night. An offensive explosion in defensive end, with the ex- the second half led the men over ception of fouling a little too Anderson in dramatic fashion.] much, and were able to win in overtime. Road wins are so sweet. Something very pleasing Home wins are fun, but road was that we were able to win wins, especially over good in overtime with our two lead- teams, are so very satisfying ing scorers, Blake Knotts and and rewarding. Winning on Lorenzo Rice, and key guard Rose-Hulman News the road shows toughness and Tre’ Hall, sitting on the bench Track and Field athletes competed this past weekend in the Engineer Invitational. From left to right: Junior resiliency. There are no gifts after fouling out. Guys like Melissa Rogers, junior Jared Stermole, and junior Jonathan Rogers. on the road, nor do you usually Jason Haslag, Steve Ricks and catch people flat or disinter- Derek Simon were able to give ested. Our win last night at An- us great minutes late in regu- derson was especially reward- lation and in overtime. Dan Liz Ridgway named to ing since we had to battle back Lowers defended wonderfully in the second half, overcome and gave us some offense, in- very severe foul trouble and re- cluding making his free throws, academic all-district team ally show poise and toughness and Jeff McCartney played a Rose-Hulman News athlete in school history to earn ranks third in the league in field in winning an overtime game. great floor game and provided academic all-district honors in two goal percentage at 52.8%. Her ef- We played decently in the big baskets late in the game Rose-Hulman Institute of Tech- sports. forts include 14 double figure scor- first half, particularly at the when we needed them. A lot nology senior forward Liz Ridgway Earlier this season, Ridgway was ing games this season and career defensive end. However, our of guys contributed to a great has been named to the ESPN The named an ESPN The Magazine Ac- totals of 593 points and 368 re- turnovers and poor shooting road win. Hopefully, we can Magazine college division aca- ademic All-American in soccer and bounds to rank in Rose-Hulman’s contributed to transition bas- have a big crowd Saturday for demic all-district team, in results joins 2004 graduate Jessica Farmer all-time top 10 in each category. kets by Anderson and put us in our Transy doubleheader (1p. released by the College Sports In- as the only two-sport academic all- Rose-Hulman stands 6-13 on the a bit of a hole. We started the m. women, 3p.m. men) and to formation Directors of America. district winners in school history. season and 3-9 in Heartland Colle- second half the same but then honor our only senior, Loren- Ridgway earned third-team Ridgway currently leads the giate Athletic Conference play en- settled down. We stopped zo Rice, on “senior night” and academic all-district accolades to Fightin’ Engineers in scoring av- tering Saturday’s home matchup turning the ball over, got some help us continue this positive become just the second student- erage at 10.9 points per game and against Transylvania University. transition of our own, and momentum. IIX FLIPSIDE The Rose Thorn THE FLIPSIDE PRESENTS... Explaining romance and dating the only way you’ll understand ATENOMICS it: with video games and math DDATING PATTERNS RELATIONSHIPS: WACKY PROF QUOTES RETRO! “So are you afraid of girls FROM ALO HE RAPH again?” — Dr. Sexton, M a t t M e l t o n H 3 L e v i H u d s o n T & M a t t M e l t oG n with the only timely dat- P l a y s W a y T o o M u c h H a l o 3 N o w , t o C a l c u l a t e t h e D a t e Z o n e E q u a t i o n . . . ing or love related quote, which is why the rest of E v er notice how the w eaponry of H alo 3 can be dir ectly associat ed The R elationship G r aph discusses how the differ ences betw een these quotes are retro. with dating patterns? No? That ’s pr obably because y ou’r e normal. For time spent together with a girl and the amount of information y ou this analysis , kills in H alo 3 r epr esent dates in r eal-life , distance in the know about said girl on y our r elationship with her. When y ou first “If I sit and tell you that I sat game is how well y ou know the girl, and tar get means girl. E njoy! meet, y ou’r e just acquaintances , perhaps moving onto dating if y ou and stared at her fore- Assault Rifle: The most unpr ofessional and r andom method in exis- play y our car ds right, or maybe becoming friends if y ou hav e ad - arm for hours on end in tence . S ur e , y ou hit y our tar gets at a wide r ange , but it takes for ev er to v anced too much along both axes . B e car eful not to somehow know French class, you’d know get any r esults . O nly r eally useful because y ou spawn with it. too much about a girl or spend way too much time with her or y ou’ ll I had it bad.” — Prof. S hotgun: The brute for ce method of dating. O nce y our tar get gets end up in dr eaded (y et all too commonly occupied) stalker or cr eeper Minster, telling stories close enough, one quick scatter shot and y ou’r e on the fast tr ack to z ones . Note that the dating z one cir cle is of a differ ent siz e for ev ery from high school. a date . P r oblem is , unless y ou’r e r eally good at it, y ou pr obably shoot girl, sometimes str etching too lar ge it could ev en encompass parts of fr om too far away or way too late . the cr eeper or stalker z ones . The inv erse is also possible , wher e the “Trying to define energy is S niper: The sneaky one-shot method. You put all y our chips on date z one shrinks so far the dating z one becomes inv erted and the like trying to define love.” one number and hope for the best. No need to get close at all on this cr eeper and stalker z ones intertwine , forming the r elationship-ending — Prof. Mueller, being method, although if y ou get caught in y our attempt befor e y ou shoot, CS z one . Don’t be ther e . I t ’s not pr etty. poetic. y ou’r e pr obably scr ew ed. Also r ather ineffectiv e once y ou become too close to said tar get. “Sex, in a lot of ways, is like G r enades: The “r andomly thr ow cr ap and see what happens” meth- Stalker driving through Ken- od, y ou r andomly hit on ev ery girl fr om anywher e in hopes of some - tucky...” — Prof. Brophy, thing happening. C an affect girls of any closeness lev el, but commonly Zone who never explained why. r esults in hitting r andom girls instead of the actual tar get. You can also Friend blow-up y our friends and y ourself with this method. How ev er, can be “We actually get to talk v ery effectiv e if master ed. Zone about sexual reproduc- Needler: The slow but persistent method of attack. The effects fr om tion. I could get a video, y our methods r emain ev en after y ou leav e , possibly r esulting in a post- listen to the soundtrack, r ejection victory. Homing is a bonus too, along with dual wielding. boom chicka wow wow... P lasma P istol: The best friend syndr ome of dating. You can low er fired...so fast!” — Prof. y our tar get ’s defense whether or not y ou know them that w ell, y ou can Dee, on career security. just nev er seal the deal when it comes down to crunch time . Try com- bining this with another method of acquisition. “The women are easy.” R ocket Launcher: The ridiculously brute for ce of dating. Wor ks on Dating — Prof. Graves, on calling someone y ou know v ery w ell or not w ell at all, and can ev en get mul- Zone roll. Nice save, calling roll. tiple tar gets in one shot. Just don’t blow y ourself up with this method. P lasma Sw or d: The finesse method of close combat dating. You’r e a “Bottom line: the breast is bit sneakier than the obvious shotgun, and can ev en hone in on y our a pretty amazing thing.” tar gets once close enough. B e w eary, for shotgun does usually beat the Acquaintance Creeper — Prof. Anthony, on the swor d when used against each other. wonders of mammary S partan Laser: The absolutely unstoppable method of attr action. Zone Zone glands.

R equir es char ging up, but if y ou hit y our tar get, this method will pen- Amount of Info Known About Her etr ate any defenses , with a nice little warning to ev ery one else that y ou “Yeah, the faun is out play- hav e clearly chosen y our tar get. Just don’t miss . Amount of Time Spent Together ing with nymphos, which today are called cheer- leaders.” — Prof. Turner, HOW TO AVOID THE MATH OF on high culture. “How my wife survived EXUAL SSAULT ATTRACTION physics jokes during J a m eS s Z h o u A Matt Melton courting, I have no Now, to Prove Any of This... idea.”— Prof. Moloney, W e S h o u l d S e n d T h i s t o P u r d u e . . . after another lame phys- So yo u’re a t a s o c i a l e ve n t w i t h re a s o n a b l y a t t ra c t i ve p e o p l e, ics joke. ( s i n c e t h i s i s Ro s e, p re t e n d yo u’re a t a s o c i a l e ve n t w i t h re a s o n- ably attractive people instead of piecing together a circuit board “We gotta keep ‘em barefoot, with unreasonable people who constantly question your usage of a pregnant, and in the B C 1 9 5 t ra n s i s t o r ) a n d t h e q u e s t i o n o f “How c a n I a vo i d s e x u a l l y a s- kitchen.” — Dr. McKinney, saulting people?” pops up in your mind. Well, it is surpr isingly hard I n t h i s a n a l y s i s. . . on a woman’s role. to avoid sexually assaulting people, at least according the sexual E q u a t i o n 1 : C = C re e p e r s c o re, G N = G i r l s w h o s e n a m e s g u y k n ow s , assault pamphlet being handed out on campus. Did you know you GY = G i r l s w h o d o n’t k n ow g u y s , WA = Ti m e s g u y i s c a u g h t w a l k i n g a l o n e “On Valentine’s Day, men can not have consensual sex if either you or you par tner(s) are: o n a g i r l s fl o o r, h O Z = C h o c o l a t e b r o u g h t t o g i r l s ( i n o z . ) , T L = Ti m e g u y give women chocolate. dr unk, on dr ugs, mentally disabled, in a dysfunctional relation- s p e n d s l o o k i n g a t g i r l , T T = Ti m e g u y s p e n d s t a l k i n g t o g i r l . E q u a t i o n And it’s always fun to see ship, regret having sex at anytime dur ing the process, or asleep? I 2 : CC = Cy b e r c re e p e r s c o re, F C = Fa c e b o o k c o m m e n t s g u y l e a v e s , F M what women do with it.” did not. Luckily, I’ve never been attracted to dr unken, dr ug-using, = Fa c e b o o k m e s s a g e s g u y s e n d s , k = How w e l l g i r l k n ow s s a i d g u y, SB = — Prof. Clark, on uses for re t a rd e d , d y s f u n c t i o n a l , re g re t f u l , s l e e p i n g p e o p l e, s o I o bvi o u s l y St u d d y B u d d y To o l a b u s e s , SL = S c h e d u l e Pa g e a b u s e s. E q u a t i o n 3 : DS = chocolates. do not have to worry about sexually assaulting anyone. D i s t a n c e g u y c a n b e s m e l l e d f r o m , DG = D i s t a n c e g i r l s c o n s i d e r t o o c l o s e

A f t e r s o m e e x a m i n a t i o n o f t h e s e r u l e s, h e re’s t h e “Cl i f f Not e s” t o g u y. E q u a t i o n 4 : PL = Pe rc e i v e d a m o u n t g u y t h i n k s g i r l l i k e s h i m , TH = “I don’t know what you guys version of how to avoid sexually assaulting people: Ti m e g u y s p e n d s h e l p i n g g i r l w i t h h o m e w o r k , TO = O t h e r t i m e g u y a n d like, men or women. I

Do not go to bars or take a date to restaurants with interesting g i r l s p e n d t o g e t h e r, AG = How a w k w a rd t h e g i r l f e e l s f r o m s a i d g u y. prefer sheep.” — Prof. wine selections if you wish to Herniter, who prefers have sex. sheep. Do not have sex dur ing the THE DISTANCE GRAPH flu season because cold medi- “Oh, I forgot, you’re a Rose L e v i Hud s o n & Ma t t Mel t o n — T h e re i s Lif e Ou t s i d e Yo u r Ap a r t m e n t . . . cine can have mind alter ing student. You probably effects . don’t have a girlfriend.” Do not have sex if either your — Prof. Azhar, being cruel. or your par tners have taken a test recently, as tests may cause “What could be more fright- m e n t a l b re a k d own s o r e ve n ening than a woman with dr unkeness. a whip?” — Prof. House, Do not have sex with people lacking a proper appre- w h o g o t o Pu rd u e. Yo u w i l l h a ve ciation for whip-bearing a d y s f u n c t i o n a l re l a t i o n s h i p, females. a n d yo u’l l b e a t ra i t o r. Do not have sex if you are bad “Nothing’s better than a six enough that your par tner falls pack of beer and some asleep dur ing it; they will prob- AutoCAD on a Friday ably regret having sex with you. night.” — Prof. Sutterer, And a bonus tip: Do not hire a who has no life. str ipper if you play lacrosse. Good morning wuvmuffin! As usual, Matt Melton lovingly wrote the unattributed material this week, or stole it via the retro prof quotes. Enjoy this Datenomics page, use it well! And use it to practice for Valentine’s Day next weekend! We’ll have more stuff for you next week as well to help you get more booty than Pirates...How dirty of a joke was that? Props to Dr. Eccles for responding to last week’s top ten. Thank you sir. And for the sake of a Wikipedia.org citation, we Rose students do in fact call Dr. Jakubowski “Dr. J.” And we do it lovingly. <3