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joint stumble. You must practice, prac- might not notice you, going shopping, tice, practice. andarooftopcocktailparty.Againbody
reVIEW...books, movies, cds
Designelementsinazombieabode and breath odor vary according to the includeablackandwhitetelevisionset situation.Placestoavoidarebeaches, tuned to static, a rusty, broken shop- military bases, hospitals, nursing ping cart, crumbling bricks by the fire- homes, and the airport. Coming out as place, a freestanding toilet, buckets a zombie to family and friends may be filled with mysterious liquids, old metal risky. Tell your mother first and you will coat hangers, heavy chains, dead be home free with everyone else. Get plants, apileofmannequinbodyparts, friendsreallydrunk;goingonalongtrip smashed vases and old, broken furni- is good. Try having children, puppies,
by Blanche Email: [email protected] Photo by Larry Graham, GrahamStudioOne.COM
hen I pulled up to my building one afternoon last week I noticed a
W
ture.
Last but not least are your zombie or old people around. largeboxfromFedExatmydoor. Iwas
curious as I hadn’t ordered anything. The last time I received a package this big,theSaintshadwontheSuperBowl and a certain past grand marshal had gone shopping at the NFL store. It turned out to be a box of new books from the AMBUSH office. New books are always welcome here in lowerAlabama, especially books with a gay theme. Thank you Rip and Marsha.
ZOMBIE EYE FOR THE LIVING
ZOMBIE EYE FOR THE LIVING
socialskills.Whenhangingwithamixed GUY is a fun read. It could be a coffeecrowd you will not want to smell like a table book, a gift, a guide for your zombie.Nozombiebodyodororbreath. Halloweenpreparations, orablueprint Keep things fun and playful and most for your life. Remember, real zombie activities will be open to you. When in activity is dangerous and illegal. Enjoy a horde of zombies, you can look like a yourself but play safe. zombie, smelllikeazombie, groanlike
- a zombie, and work yourself into a
- COLUMNISTNOTE:Myhowtime
frenzy.Outdooractivitiesandeventsin flies when you're having fun. 30 short largespacesarerecommended.Wan- years ago, IT’S RAINING MEN was dering the French Quarter scaring released by the WEATHER GIRLS, peoplecouldbefun,butbesafe.Other Martha Wash and Izora Rhodes activities include a graveyard picnic, Armstead (1942-2004). YOU GO riding the bus...though some people GIRLS...
GUY: Look Undead, Cook Undead, DressUndead&LiveUndead(Marion
How do you dress like a zombie?
Press, October 2012) is a tongue-in- Wear a size too big, you will look shrivcheek look into zombie life. It could be eled. Distress your clothes...run over acoffee-tablebook,abathroomlibrary them with your car, screech on your book, or a primer for those wanting to brakes for that runned-over look. Put “effect”thezombielifestyle...andzom- motor oil on rusty chains and beat bies are everywhere. Montgomery, them. Use hammers, anything. Then Alabamajusthadit’s2ndAnnualZom- hang them up to dry. Don’t mix and bie Walk and Prom to benefit the local match...what was stressed together,
real estate
Pay Off Your Mortgage in Half the Time with Bi-Weekly Payments
- food bank.
- pairtogether.Wearsmallershoes...feet
With text by J. M. Hewitt, make-up swellondecayingbodies.Distressyour byPeterSwordsStevens,andphotog- shoes until they're comfortable...more raphy by Alexander Colby the book fake blood. Remember, zombies don’t guides you through the inner prepara- sweatsobathenormally. Butyoumust tion, teaches you how to achieve the smelllikeazombie...putyourclothesin look, develop the lifestyle, and master a bag for three days with rotten eggs, thesocialskillsnecessarytobeazom- carry stinky cheese in your pockets, ne way to pay off your mortgage faster is to make bi-weekly mortgage payments instead of monthly ~ this can save you hun-
O
dreds of thousands of dollars in interest over the long-term as well as allow you to make paying off the mortgage less of an endurance test. If your mortgage is amortized correctly over the 26 weeks, then you can take years off of the time it would normally take to pay your 30 year mortgage off and save a huge amount of money in interest payments.
- bie.
- soak in a bath of stinky tofu brine.
You must first do a self-examina- Develop a corpse breath...gargle with
As times are a little tougher more and more lending institutions are trying to help consumers by offering bi-weekly and even weekly options to homeowners so they can pay off the mortgage faster.
Here is an example of how this can work; let’s say your mortgage payment is $800 dollars per month, so you’re paying $9,600.00 per year. If you pay biweekly payments (26 payment of $400.00) you actually end up paying an additional $800 per year, or one full extra payment that comes directly off of your principal. tion. Do you like wandering around the garlic water...chew durian gum, availQuarter late at night in corpse-like able at Asian markets...or chew on make-up, wearingdirty, greasy, ripped asha root, taste like burnt rubber and clothes? Do you want your partner to makes your breath smell the same. see you as a zombie? Will you spend The decision on body and breath odor yourweekendsperfectingyourzombie will depend on the type of zombie you
- walk? Then you must decide which are and the occasion.
- Ona$200,000mortgageat5%, you’llpayofftheloanin25years, vs. 30and
- shave off more than $34,000 in interest cost!
- zombie lifestyle is right for you...the
- You should develop your zombie
zombie imitator, every once in lifestyle.Eatinghumanfleshandsuckawhile...the drag zombie, it’s all about ing human blood is not only illegal, it’s the performance...the transzombie, dangerous.Cocktailrecipesinthebook twenty-four hours a day, seven days a include the Braingarita, the Burnt week...or the zombie, where you actu- Manhatten, and the Eyeball Martini.
Many lenders offering bi-weekly payments have mortgage calculators right ontheirsitesthatcanhelpyoufigureoutifshorteningthelengthofyourmortgage by paying biweekly will work for you.
This is a simple plan to quickly reduce your mortgage debt offering you additional equity/security to make it through future rough periods, like the period
- we’re just coming out of.
- ally become one, legally no one can
- Appetizers include the Cracked
condone this choice. As in coming out Open Head Salad, the Skewered of the closet, you must accept yourself Brainstem, and Blood Drop Soup. En-
Keep in mind most lenders also allow you the option to make lump sum payments towards your mortgage principle if you come into extra money. Check withyourlendertoseeifthereareanyrestrictions, andalwaysensureyourextra paymentismarked“principleonly”toensureitisappliedasaprinciplereduction vs. an interest payment.
- and the category you choose.
- trees are Skin Stew, Roasted Intestine
Next you must develop your look, Delight, and the Juicy Brain. Desserts starting with your hair. The less you include Baby Fingers, Coagulated shampoo, the more terrifying the "do." Blood Sorbet, and Bone Brownies. Keep it long, always air dry, get an KeeparoundsomeKaroSyrup,pomeuneven razor cut, and never comb or granate juice, cauliflower, peeled brush it...use your fingers for that ex- grapes, blueberries, manicotti pasta, aggeratedbedheadlook.Movingonto and black-eyed peas. No zombie make-up. Hire a pro if you can and kitchen would be complete without a learn tips from him. Always start clean hacksaw,industrialscissors,anailgun, and clean-shaven. Buy leftover make- ablowtorch,amachete,abutcherblock up after Halloween and practice; go and some bleach for cleaning.
With today’s low interest rates its always tempting to refinance, and refinance again, and refinance again… with each refinance may come a slightly lower payment, but it also comes with a new “30 year term”, you’re starting over again. It may be much more prudent to use a bi-weekly mortgage plan or additional principle lump sum payments to reach your goals.
There are sites like www.GayMortgageLoans.com that are free databases of gay, lesbian and gay friendly mortgage lenders and brokers if you need assistance,andalwayscheckwithyourfinancialplannerorCPAforthebestpath to meeting your financial and retirement goals.
- onlinefortips. Developyour“look,”the
- All-importantismasteringthezom-
gorier the wounds the better. Develop biewalk.Techniquesincludetheboundyour own recipe for fake blood...you feet drag, the toddler two-step, the
- can never have enough.
- Frankenstein stomp and the arthritic
Autho r J ef f H ammerber g i s t h e F oundin g C E O o f w ww.GayRealEstate.com.
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under the gaydar
by Tony Leggio
Email: [email protected]
Photo by: Larry Graham, GrahamStudioOne.COM
Bartender of the Month
hereissomethingtobesaidaboutJacksof all Trades, people with many talents. My choice for bartender of the month of Octo-
T
ber is just one of those people. He is a witty, talented and professional guy who makes going to his bar an absolute delight. I am talking about the one and only Cha Cha at Good Friends. Not only is Cha Cha one of themostlovablebartendersinthecity,butheisapretty skilled singer.
You can
- catch
- him
showing off his vocal prowess
- upstairs
- at
Good Friends on Sundays or at Karaoke at Lafitte’s on Wednesdays. I think that flair along with his happy go lucky d e m e a n o r makes it easy for people to gravitate toward him. I rememberveryvividlyoneofthefirsttimesIhungoutatChaCha’s sphere of warmth. You can actually bar. Hot in Cleveland was on the television and he was sensegenuinehappinesscomingfrom dressed in a velour jumpsuit and grey wig impersonating Betty him. Bars in general, but especially
- White to a tee. Since then I have been a regular to his bar.
- gay ones, should always help patrons
As a bartender, Cha Cha is efficient, friendly and quick. He feelsafeandsecure. ChaChacreates knows his regulars and immediately makes newcomers feel
Bartender of the Month
Cha Cha, Good Friends Bar
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right at home. His endearing personality creates an atmo-
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out & about in mobile
B-Bob's 20 Year Anniversary Celebration Oct. 11-13
by Bob Brunson
his will be a very exciting weekend in Mobile,Alabama as B-Bob’s will be celebrating 20 incredible years! YES, the PLATINUM ANNIVER-
T
SARY!!! Three days of wonderful parties with spectacular entertainment and loads of fun and drink specials planned for everyone!
Mobile is barely over BayFest where approximately 200,000 people flock from all over the country to see performances by Journey, Pat Benatar, Willie Nelson, Rose Royce, Al Green, Grace Potter, etc… and B-Bob’s owner Jerry Ehlen has another big party weekend already in motion. After twenty years of business in Mobile, Jerry continues without hesitation to offer our community continuous weekend entertainment and party after party keeping the downtown Mobile entertainment district jumping.
On any given day throughout the year, you can only imagine who’s in-flight to Mobile to perform at B-Bob’s. We have seen top Billboard recording artists
includingMarth a W ash , T iffany , A bigail , E xpose’ , A mber , B onni e P ointer , K ristine W, Pepper Mashay, Jeanie Tracy, Amuka, Vicki Shepard, Thea Austin, Cover
Girls, Cynthia Manley, Ultra Nate’ and the list goes on and on... We have also seen drag talent from everywhere; the likes of Australia’s drag phenomenon Courtney Act, San Francisco’s Drag Diva Donna Sachet, RuPaul’s Drag Race
contestants, Sharon Needles, Nina Flowers, Pandora Boxx, Latrice Royale, Manila Luzon, Mimi Imfurst, JuJubee, Chad Michaels, Willam, Bebe Zahara
Benet, Tyra Sanchez and many more. We’ve seen comediennes, puppeteers and magicians; appearances have been made by world renowned DJs, and we have even laid eyes on some of the world’s hottest porn stars and Colt models. All thanks to B-Bob’s owner Jerry Ehlen, who never misses a beat, supplying us with world class entertainment all year long.
This weekend B-Bob’s will once Venus Shante’ DaVis and show direcagain be host to outstanding artists, tor and Blonde Bombshell Miss Cie.
- performersandparties,allofwhichare
- Friday night will host Bear and
back by popular demand to pay tribute Leather Night and kick off at 9pm with to 20 fabulous years! And watch out… complimentarycocktailsfrom9-10pm. with four new big screens behind the At 10pm be ready for a special 45 barandtelevisionsthroughout,youwill minute show with none other than the be sure to see some of the wildest and incredible talents of Sharon McNight! craziest moments on new slideshows Sharon made her Broadway debut in dating back as far as 1992!! Watch 1989 in Starmites, creating the role of closely… you too are probably on the Diva.ShereceivedaTonyawardnomi-
Sharon McNight
- character impersonations, welcoming
- her “one of the great wonders of the
musical stage.” She is most noted for
her movie reenactment of The Wizard
of OZ and for being one of the few real women to impersonate Bette Davis. Don’t miss this special performance including many songs from her album
Songs to Offend Almost Everyone!
After Sharon’s show the celebration will continue with dancing and at 11:30pm a show with B-Bob’s all-star cast and guests. the return of the very talented Brittany
Spears Impersonator, Derrick Barry.
The show will kick off at 11:30pm with a special production by the B-Bob’s cast and will also include character
performancesbythefabulousT o n i D ee
and the Asian Goddess Miss Regine
Phillips.
- big screen!
- nation as “Best Leading Actress in a
Thursday night will kick off the Musical” for her performance, and is anniversary weekend with the all new the recipient of the coveted Theatre “ON STAGE” Karaoke Night from 9pm WorldsAward for “Outstanding Broadtill11pmfollowedbyashowat11:30pm way Debut.” The singer/comedienne withthenewlycrownedMissSouthern hasplayedfromMooseHalltoCarnegie States Regine Phillips, Hostess Hall and anywhere the check doesn’t
Jawakatem a D avenport,Mobile’sIcon bounce. The LosAngeles Times call
Needlesstosaythiswillbeaweekend to remember (or try to remember) and3nightsofpartiesnottobemissed. CongratulationsJerryfor20wonderful years of service to our community!!
On Saturday, the finale of the 20th
YearAnniversary weekend is all about
under the gaydar ...from 23
bestofneworleans.com. an environment of refuge from the craziness of the outside world, a place where you can leave your troubles at the door and laugh with a friend. Whether you come with one or not, he is always there to crack a joke or listen to a problem; all with his natural effervescence.
GoodFriendsisafittingbarforChaChatoworkat,sincewhenyouarethere that is just what you are to him. So go check him out either behind the bar or singing on Sundays. Good Friends is located at 740 Dauphine Street.
Experience the Horror of Bingo, The Satyricon Way
heMysticKreweofSatyriconisbringingbackaspecialeditionoftheir Let’s Make A Haunted Wheel of Bingo on Friday, October 19 at
T
JohnPaul’s. Get your tricks or treats on for the naughtiest, wildest, funniest and Halloweeniest game show in the city with uber sexy host Todd Thunder. Therewillbeacostumecontest,50/50raffleandfabulousprizeswhich include a lap dance from Todd himself.
Tickets are $10 and doors open at 7 p.m. with the show starting at 8pm.
JohnPaul’s is located at 940 Elysian Fields.
Celebrate the Reds, Whites and Blues
ambitandSelectBrandsispresentingReds,WhitesandTheBlues
Marigny will be held in Washington
A French Fete:
on Thursday, October 18 from 6:30-9pm at the Pavilion of
Square from 10am to 6pm.
G
Two Sisters in City Park. This is definitely one evening night not to
Marigny Style
There is so many happenings at be missed. This wine, spirits, food and music event benefits the Foundation for
Entertainment Development and Education. Mas Mamones is the band for the night. Numerous local restaurants will provide gourmet cuisine. Having attended this fundraiser in the past, I can guarantee a good time. There is also this awesome raffle to win a 200 bottle wine basket. Can you imagine, I would be set for at least a month. this event which also marks the 40th anniversary of the Faubourg Marigny Improvement Association. There will bemusic,food,wine,hometours,kids’ activities, arts and crafts booths, n Sunday, October 21, come experience a celebration of the Faubourg
O
Marigny at Fete Marigny. This festival not only honors one of the best neighborhoods in New Orleans, but also the city itself and all things French. Fete
Ticket prices start at $60. For more information, call 504.483.3129 or email
[continued on 28]
- [email protected].
- To purchase tickets online, go to
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- Ga yMa rd iGra s .COM • Ga yNe w Orle a n s .COM • S o u t h e rn De c a d e n c e .COM • Oc t . 9 -2 2 , 2 0 1 2 • Th e Officia l Ma g : Am b u s h Ma g .COM • 2 5