Working Inclusively and Affirmatively with LGBTQ Youth

Lauren Moreno (they/them) & Tasha Colin (she/her) Expanding Identities Development Introductions Objectives and Outcomes

● Foundation of language, terminology and best practices ● Awareness around various policies and procedures ● How to create a safer and more inclusive environment. ● Understanding of assumptions and biases within the LGBTQ community ● Proficiency in having conversations about LGBTQ topics and issues. Pronouns

● What do we mean? ● Gender Binary ● Why can it be confusing? ● Gender neutral language ● Implementation of non-binary gender markers

Stereotypes

● What stereotypes exist in the LGBTQ community? ● What have we heard in media, from family, in our community? ● How do these stereotypes differ for gay men vs. lesbians vs. bi+ folks vs. trans folks? ● Why do we discuss stereotypes?

What can we do? ● Challenge assumptions, implicit biases and stereotypes of the LGBTQ community within ourselves and our society ● Question any ‘stereotypes’ you hear about LGBTQ folk in your community, in the media, by your family, etc.

Vocab & Terminology

Terms to Use Terms that Depend Don’t Use on Context

Gender: Transgender, Transman, Queer, Two-Spirit, Transgendered, Transsexual, Transwoman, Trans, Cisgender, Genderqueer, Genderfluid Transvestite, “Not normal”, Gender Non-conforming, Non- Tranny, Gender Bender binary

Sexuality: Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Homosexual Dyke, Fag/faggot, Homo, Asexual, Pansexual Fairy, “sexual preference”, “lifestyle”, “that’s so gay”

Sex: Male, Female, Intersex Hermaphrodite, He-She

Gender Expression: Drag queen, Cross-dresser Drag king, Androgynous, Femme, Masc General Terms to Know Sexuality: Identity vs. Behavior vs. Attraction Heteronormativity: Assumption that heterosexuality is preferred, “normal” and is therefore privileged. Intersectionality: The interconnected nature of social categorizations such as race, class, and gender as they apply to a given individual or group, regarded as creating overlapping and interdependent systems of discrimination or disadvantage. Polyamory: (orientation) poly meaning many; the desire or need to have multiple relationships or multiple people in a relationship. Internalized Homophobia: A psychological trait occurring in anyone LGB, often associated with self-loathing and self-censorship toward their sexual identity. Onset can be caused by cultural and/or religious values of family, community and/or school environment that reject LGB individuals because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Homophobia/Biphobia/Transphobia/Lesbianphobia/Queerphobia: Hatred, fear or oppression of the LGBTQ community. Best Practices

■ Never assume someone’s gender identity, gender pronouns, sexual orientation or sex assigned at birth. ■ It is not for you to decide if a person is “truly” trans. ■ Be informed on the various ways of living consistently with one’s gender identity, which may or may not include physical or social gender transition, and how these options may affect transgender individuals throughout their development. ■ Understand the importance of using appropriate language (e.g., correct name, correct pronouns, correct identity) with LGBTQ clients ■ Never assume because someone is “out” to you, that they’re out to other people. This is not always the case. (Out could mean gender pronouns, gender identity or sexual orientation) ■ Safety first! Never “out” anyone and always assess if it’s safe for someone to come out. ■ Continue your own education -the LGBTQ community is constantly changing.. ■ Understand the biological, familial, social, cultural, socio- economic and psychological factors as well as other contextual factors and social determinants of health. ■ Recovering from misgendering: Apologize when you do offend someone, but don’t over apologize. Just merely correct yourself and continue the conversation. Don’t make it a big deal, it could make the other person even more uncomfortable. ■ Stay current on the rights of LGBTQ students and faculty ■ Normalizing LGBTQ – for example – incorporate it into your daily language, conversation, etc. ■ Always have resources available. Policies & Procedures for Inclusion

How to better help support youth and peers in the LGBTQ community

● Put pronouns into practice - e.g. at meetings when people introduce themselves, have them also say their pronoun(s) ● Pronouns in email signatures ● More visibility - put up posters, and any material that reflects the LGBTQ community ● More use of gender neutral language - “guys” versus “y’all” or “folks” ● Updating forms and other materials to reflect LGBTQ folks

1. How do you respond to people's fears that a same sex couple will steer their kids away from heterosexuality? ● This is a difficult question as the fear derives from homosexuality being “not normal” and therefore something in which people should be “steered away from”. You can let people know that people are born LGBTQ and therefore it is not something that can be “nurtured” and steered towards or away from. 2. How do you handle people - say relatives or camp counselors - who refuse to use proper pronouns? For instance, a friend of mine, when speaking to me refers to my kiddo as “she, her, hers” ● There are a few tactics one can employ when holding folks accountable to respecting how someone would like to be referred. The primary conversation to have would be to ensure that the person is aware of the correct designations, pronouns, name, etc. If they are purposefully disregarding pronouns then invite them into a conversation on respect. At the end of the day, pronoun utilization is about respect for how someone would like to be referenced and that others respect this individual in that designation. Remind folks that although they may not agree, every person has the right to determine how they would like to be called. Similar as to how you would not call some by a name that is not theirs, it’s basic manners. 3. How do I make it most comfortable for a gender non-conforming student to use their restroom of choice? What if my facility doesn’t have gender inclusive restroom options? ● Depending on the length of the program, you can work with your campuses facilities management office to create a temporary restroom option such as reserving one existing restroom specifically for single use/ gender inclusive use, or find the nearest single use restroom. Some folks find it helpful to create temporary signage in partnership with facilities. Additionally, it’s important to note that you should check in with the student to discuss what their best case

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scenario is and advocate for them to have the options they are most comfortable with. 4. What do I do if a camper asks to be addressed by a name other than what the parent/guardian indicated on their registration form? ○ Respect what the camper would like to be called. Be sure to check in with them regarding the spaces and people you are allowed to call them their name around. Some folks might not want every camper to know. Keep in mind that it is okay to check in with the youth to see how they would like you to be an ally to them. Make the process for their name adjustments to be made with as little labor on their part, discuss with your team on how you can create systems within your operations to make the adjustments smooth and accessible to the youth. Relabel their documents and other materials if they would like the whole camp to refer to them by this name and ensure that your staff is trained on advocating and supporting the name usage by other campers (if applicable). 5. How do you suggest we house youth if their parents are not supportive or they have not come out to their parents? ● If a camper wants to change dorms to the gender they identify with, it all comes down to confidentiality: ○ If camper changes dorms, it breaks confidentiality ○ This would have to be a bigger discussion with camper and their parent(s)/caregivers ○ Advise camper on what it would mean to switch dorms and that they would no longer be protected by confidentiality ○ Assess if this would be safe for the camper - safety FIRST! ○ Advise against it unless the camper is out to their parent(s)/caregiver, or unless they want to come out to them

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● Something that comes up frequently: If a camper is out as trans, OR if camper DOES switch dorms, other parents of campers within the dorm/cabin d o not have to be notified! ● If parents aren’t ‘happy’ about this, refer to the camp’s discrimination policy (make sure the camp has a strong discrimination policy in place). 6. So then you have boys and girls together in the locker room? How do you navigate for parents who do not understand or accept that type of locker room use? ● Provide multiple options for youth to utilize whatever space is most comfortable to them. For supporting the parents understanding be sure to have a plan for the roll it of this new practice, inclusive of : education, resource materials, a FAQ sheet, and trained staff designated to fielding questions from parents. And provide an opt out option for parents, or an alternative option. It will also be helpful to review the legal parameters of not only your campus policies but state as well and have that information handy for parents as well. Create a list of guidelines, rules, and procedures for this space or refer back to your camp’s anti-discrimination policy. Additionally there should be education for the youth in ow to engage in the space. This is a larger endeavor and will take a significant amount of preparation, research, advocacy, and education. 7. Can you talk about supporting LGBTQ staff and best practices for managing parents and campers who have questions about gender and sexuality of the counselors/supervising adults? ○ Again, with safety in mind, it is up to the counselors/supervising adults whether they want to disclose that information if a parent/camper asks about their gender or sexuality. It also depends on the context of the situation. If a parent/camper is asking in order to judge or discriminate against them, then the counselor/supervisor does not have to disclose this information as it is not necessary for people to know. The counselor/supervising adult can merely let the camper/parent know that they don’t feel comfortable revealing that

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information, or merely inquire what it would mean for the camper/parent to know that information.

Culver City, CA | @eidevelopment | www.eidevelopment.org LGBTQ Resource List

● Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) – .S. non-governmental media monitoring organization founded by LGBT people in the media. Focused on discrimination in the media - https://www.glaad.org/ ● The TREVOR Project - LGBTQ focused suicide /crisis intervention support hotline - http://www.thetrevorproject.org/ ● GSA Network (Gender and Sexuality Awareness Network) – a network for high schools and middle school LGBTQ clubs - https://gsanetwork.org/ ● Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays (PFLAG) - PFLAG Los Angeles is an all volunteer organization run by parents, family members, LGBTQ persons and their friends. Each of us came for help, found support, and joined the organization to assist others on their journey to acceptance. Our chapter, together with a group in New York City, founded the national PFLAG organization, which provides assistance to over 500 independent chapters nationwide - https://www.pflag.org/ ● Expanding Identities Development (EiD) - An LGBTQ training and consulting company - www.eidevelopment.org ● National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) - The National LGBTQ Task Force is an American social justice advocacy non-profit organizing the grassroots power of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer community http://www.thetaskforce.org/ ● Transgender Law Center (TLC) - The Transgender Law Center is the largest American transgender-led civil rights organization in the United States - http://transgenderlawcenter.org/ ● Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network (GLSEN) - A United States-based education organization working to create safe and inclusive K-12 schools – www.glsenla.org ● LGBTQ School – LGBTQ classes, workshops, resources - lgbtq.school ● APA’s Division 44: Society for the Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity - http://www.apa.org/about/division/div44.aspx ● Gender Sexuality Info - Online LGBTQ resource list - http://gendersexuality.info/resources/