The Newspaper of Imperial College Union SOUTHSIDE MOVE: COLLEGE TRIES AGAIN

The projected move of Union facilities to Southside is again a real the claim that it would be more complain of the noise of pool possibility after a meeting of the Southside Working Party and costly to simply build the Post balls in Falmouth-Keogh Hall. members of the Estates Section on Thursday afternoon. Most Union Experience Centre in Southside. The matter is long referred to the Union Major Subcommit- representation seem to approve of the plan as set out by the College, but Other questions that they tees, and as soon as a detailed they will insist on certain safeguards and guarantees before committing would like answered include the costing has been made there will the Union. probable life of the Southside be a further meeting of the The College proposals as backed squash courts, a new Building (Don Clark told the Working Party; it is possible that outlined by Don Clark of theatre and, once the Southside meeting that he has an estimate the matter will get as far as a Estates is that over the next four Shop has moved to larger of over a hundred years) and the UGM before Christmas. years, all Union facilities should premises, all the Union adminis- noise problem; residents of the move from Beit Quad to the tration, and offices. No plans to Mews have been known fo lower levels of Southside, which move the FELIX Office have are at present underused. The been put forward. Post Experience Centre could Union officers still have major then be established in Beit. (This reservations; they consider it GUILDSHIT HITS THE FAN is a plan to run short courses for suspicious that College should industry, and is expected to offer to undertake so much Several hundred copies of Guildsheet were replaced by a satirical bring a large amount of money expenditure on the Union's imitation entitled 'Guildshit' on Wednesday morning. For his into College.) The move would behalf, and want legal guarantees involvement in removing the official publications, Union Welfare start with the building of new that the money will be spent as Officer Jon Barnett has been accused of theft by members of City and sports facilities, including glass- promised. They are also querying Guilds Union and by Stephen Goulder, 1CU President. 'Guildshit' was produced by Wednesday morning when they Nick Pyne, the UGM Chairman ran into Frank Rowsell, the and himself an ex-Welfare Guildsheet Editor. Officer, in reprisal for a series of Steve Bishop and Frank attacks on himself in several of Rowsell then complained to the the year's issues, primarily in the Union President Stephen 'Hissing Sid' column written by Goulder, who sent Mr Barnett Jon Stanley. Mr Pyne told an official letter saying that he FELIX that replacing Guildsheet considered that Guildshit was far with a parody was the only way more extreme than anything to make his protest in a forceful printed in Guildsheet this year, but humorous way. The issue and accusing him of intolerance was written by Mr Pyne and and theft. But handwritten at the several close friends, and was foot of the letter he had added copied at his home on his own "PS: I thought the issue was duplicating machine, except for hilarious." the cover, which like that of Guildsheet, was printed in the Union Print Unit—but without the official knowledge of the Print Unit Manager. Distribu- tion was originally intended for last Thursday, but when it was learned that the next issue of the regular newspaper would be on Morphy Day, it was re- scheduled. Accordingly, Mr Barnett and Jon Taylor, a third year Physics The mother of Stuart Rockell, who died of Leukaemia four weeks ago, student, were removing Guild- launched a new four named after Stuart on Morphy Day in the sheet from the Electrical Engin- traditional fashion. eering Department early on

No. 629 Friday, November 26, 1982 Free! Mr Buckton gave an impression Strike Soon of the increased worry and Aerosoc A Winner frustration in his union, and said that he would be the last person to oppose further industrial action. Silly Sports

Over a thousand pounds was raised for Rag last Saturday, with Guilds running Silly Sports outside Harrods on the RCS licence obtained for their twenty- four-hour event. Mike Stuart of Guidls collect £188. City and Guilds Union had The General Secretary of ASLEF, failed to obtain street-collecting Ray Buckton, was fifteen minutes licenses from the Metropolitan late for a meeting of the Industrial Police, and were advised to Society on Tuesday because his collect on the RCSUs permit train was delayed. issued for collections in Kensing- In his address, entitled 'Strikes ton and Chelsea. This was done Raymond Baxter congratulates the winning team. —the Ultimate Sanction', Mr on the condition that while Buckton stressed the plight of Guilds would be allowed to add the overworked, underpaid A team from City and Guilds Imperial. The IC team scored a the amount that they raised to workers leading to the recent Aerosoc won the 1982 Aero- narrow victory over Kingston their Rag total, the money would Rail strike that cost British Rail nautical Challenge Quiz on before convincingly defeating go through RCSU channels. Wednesday November 17. City in the final. The prize, a Sea £100m. He gave vent to his No trouble from the police The event is a four-sided Harrier display model, was disappointment with the Fleet was encountered except for a competition between London's presented by Geoffrey Pardoe of Street view of the strike, des- warning about obstruction aeronautical engineering depart- the Royal Aeronautical Society. cribing their attacks on him and caused by playing three-legged ments, with teams from Queen As winners, IC will be expected his union supporters as trash. hopscotch along the pavement. Mary College, City University, to play hosts at next year's event. Referring to the possibility of Guilds raised £550 compared Kingston Polytechnic and another strike in the near future, with the RCSU's total of £600.

IIIBII ! We have an extensive infor- used at school. mation system. We can supply These session are open to all information on Ents, shopping, Nightline RCC students and, will take place in late night shops, nightlife, Huxley 341. No registration is restaurants, cafes, or on sexual, required. Just turn up! Now that you've been at College legal and medical services. If we The next RCC General Meeting Dates: for over half a term, perhaps don't have the information you will be held in the Union Lower Session 1 Tuesday November you're finding that life at College want, we'll know who will have Refectory on December 2 at 30, 1730 to 1830h. isn't all that you expected it to it. If you ring early enough we 6:00pm. Will all society chairmen Session 2: Thursday Decem- be. Perhaps you're feeling lonely can find out the information and collect their agenda for this ber 2, 1730 to 1830h. or depressed or homesick or just ring you back with it. meeting from the societies letter rack in the Union Office. Please Session 3: Tuesday December bored. Perhaps you're having So, whether you want infor- note that at this meeting names 7, 1730 to 1830h. difficulties getting to know mation or need someone to will be collected for engraving Session 1 will cover skills people or don't like your course talk to, we'll always be prepared onto the RCC pots. If your including: study tasks and study or are feeling puzzled or tired. to help you. We hope you will society cannot be represented at problems; concentration; organ- Or maybe everything is fine— use the service. ising your time; organising your you just want to find out what's this meeting put a note in the environment. on at different colleges or train RCC Exec letter-racks telling us times or a late night chemist. the relevant persons name to go / S Boucher on your pot, this is your only AAO Nightline is a student-run chance! voluntary organisation which Nightline operates during termtime, Confidential help and information SCC between 6:00pm and8:00amevery 581 2468 Anyone who is interested in the night (including weekends). following clubs, or actively There is always somebody here Studies 9 organising them should contact to talk to or listen to you or give Jonathan Miller, via the Union you whatever information you Nightline is run by student Office, and attend the next require. volunteers from twelve different Skills meeting of .SCC on December 2 Nightline gives 'non-directive' colleges in West London. If you at 6:00pm in the Union Upper counselling. It's like talking to a think that you would like to IC Education Forum is running Lounge. All are in danger of friend. We will give you support, help, then don't hesitate. Ring us a series of study skills work- being declared moribund! sympathy, time and care. We up and find out more about how shops to give you the oppor- Flesh, Fish & Fowl won't try to diagnose, categorise to become a volunteer. There are tunity to improve your skills in Social Democratic Society or patronise you or glibly offer regular training programmes till note-taking, writing, revision Communist cures or solve all your problems. the end of March. and exam techniques. These PATA (anti-abortion) We are strictly confidential and Nightline can be found in the sessions will emphasise the new Polish We are a strictly confidential basement flat at 9 Princes skills you require to adapt to Celtic and anonymous service so no- Gardens SW7. Drop in for a cup learning methods at university Note: SCC Exec meets Nov- one will need to know you of coffee or ring us on 581-2468 which are, as you must already ember 30 at 1:00pm in the Green called. between 6:00pm and 8:00am. know, quite different from those Committee Room. Page2| MIHIlLlltliillllllllMIM November 26,1982 wammmmmm I FELIX College, "they are savages!" He A Degree of praised the achievements of science in general and with a particular bias towards chemis- Ignorance try and biology speaking of Horoscopes, UFOs and ghosts miracles from rational means, were among the fallacies attacked slipping in numerous jokes at the by Dr Magnus Pyke under the expense of the engineers and heading 'A Budget of Fallacies' mathematicians. He then turned last Monday. Dr Pyke has spent to the fallacies and pseudo- the last ten years trying to tell his science "the poison of unreason" fellow citizens what science is all that still persists: 30 to 40 million about. He is still trying and Americans believe deeply in spent some time extolling the astrology. Dr Pyke then ran virtues of hard science and the through all the popular fallacies, scientific method: "I have been referring to spoon bending, the very much disturbed and upset Bermuda Triangle, dowsing and by the degree of ignorance homeopathy with a final warn- generally prevalent about the ing note on witchburning and world we live in." People have nazism; the master race fallacy. no understanding of the science Dr Pyke appealed to all science that affects their lives, he says. students to help dispel the "Outside these walls," Dr Pyke fallacies because of the real cried, one of his famous arm- danger of the ignorance they A rare photograph of Magnus Pyke using only one hand! waves encompassing the entire indicate.

Arthur explained the situation to who was busy at the National FELIX: Bar Accounts Conference. Since Mr Howard Morphy The first group on the ladder was delayed, the talk was of priorities will be overseas Open preceded by an informal debate postgraduate freshers, who will Bob Schroter, Chairman of the Muck-Up between Philip Nathan (IC all have one guaranteed year in a Refectories Committee, has Liberals) and Paul Simion The Morphy Oar was broken on single room in an Imperial offered to open the Bar accounts (PWP) on the NUS issue. Wednesday during the annual College or Intercollegiate Hall. to the members of the Bar Sub- towpath battle. City and Guilds The next priority will be given to committee only. His proposal now possess one third of the first year postgraduates who was revealed to Council on trophy and Mines hold the rest. have not studied at IC before. Monday evening. The scheme The Morphy Day battle itself MSc students will be given was agreed to and has been did not start until dusk, with priority over PhD students and referred to the next UGM for various revolting substances female students will have priority approval. But Dr Schroter being hurled at everyone in over male. dismissed as 'ridiculous' ru- sight. This year's predominant The justification for these mours that the Rector himself ingredient was fish gut, but after decisions is that firstly overseas had ordered him to do this. the RCSU fire engine Jez had students have to pay full tuition hosed down the towpath there fees and so they should be Sexism was more left on the participants allowed the financial relief of than on the ground. Compara- living in Hall, which is usually Protest tively few people were allowed cheaper than living outside. A lone Imperial College student into Harrods for tea afterwards. Students who pay full fees are was the only protester outside In the more serious rowing Frank Howard much sought after by the College the Albert Hall last Thursday competition, City and Guilds Mr Howard challenged Mr and are likely to be influenced by evening. Michael Newman won the Morphy and Lowry Simion's claim that NUS works the availability of accommo- appeared with his banner, eights, and a team from RCSU on "totally unrealistic grounds" dation. Also, students who have reading 'Down with the Stereo- won the ladies' race. and said that, although NUS is never lived in Britain before type Female/Male', just as the radical, not all its members are have a great need of guaranteed rich connoisseurs of the Miss stereotyped activists. He also housing. Secondly MSc students World competition were leaving. denied that NUS's bureaucracy have an intensive, timetabled Some interest was shown in his IC 'Armless' is larger than needed or that its one-year course and have little banner, but the main comments ways are undemocratic and said opportunity to look for housing were advising him not to get too cold. IC is cutting off its own arms, that, although it has made while PhD students have a more according to Frank Howard, mistakes in the past, it is the sole flexible course and can take time After a small protest march NUS Exec Member, when ques- organisation to represent our off. Finally, female students in front of the Albert Hall Mr tioned about ICU's re-affiliation interests. might be worried about living on Newman sat down opposite the to NUS. Mr Howard said that their own in London, and hall and was joined by a friendly NUS would be even stronger and Racial because there are so few women policeman. The two chatted able to negotiate better deals for students the College tries to amicably, both of them explain- students by having ICU among Discrimination encourage female applicants. ing to enquirers the meaning of the slogan. its members. This would be Student Services' decision to Michael Arthur put these There was an unusually large especially true for issues such as practise positive discrimination proposals to a recent meeting of police contingent for the compe- the rationalisation of London when allocating places in Hall to the Student Residence Commit- tition this year as a group of University and the various postgraduates next year has tee, and they were approved in Falklands' Heroes had been mergers involved. caused concern among people principle. The scheme will invited. Due to high media Mr Howard was addressing a who feel there will be no room probably be implemented for attention it was feared that they meeting on Tuesday replacing for British PGs in Hall. The next year's admissions. might be a target for terrorists. NUS Vice-President Jane Taylor Student Services Officer Michael FELIXI HHMMV'HHl November 26, 1982 HHHPHHHBHH Page 3 gain. In fact this year I expect it provokes others, both Parking Permits record profits since, like a Christians and non-Christians, number of lecturers at IC, Dear Sir with feelings similar to mine, to performance has reached a Many happy tube journeys voice their opinions. pinnacle of unreliability as the ago after wantonly applying for Yours years have taken their toll. A M C Prowse a parking permit, my wife and I So make a move, Space Cadet Mech Eng 1 (both physics postgraduates) were told we did not qualify Gnus and get yourself over to because we only lived six miles RSM. I'm afraid we can't offer News Bias— out in Islington and most people you TyPhoo Tea, which is what I Round 3 who were allocated permits lived thought Gnus drank, but our at least twelve miles out and a lot machine sure gives a mean cup Dear Sir of PGs travelled in from Oxford. of coffee (only lOp remember), I am sorry if I upset your I must admit we left the Union and if you're lucky I'll give you a reporter, Adrian James, with my Office thinking "Cads refill from the vegetable sludge letter the other week; from the Bounders! It can't be true!" in the spillage tray. tone of his reply, he seems rather Now however I see the errors of I think I'd better get on with distressed! (If he would care to my ways. While wandering some Rock Mechanics now. Rag Mag read my original letter, he might casually around the estate on Yours then be able to answer my actual which we live I came across two Mines HJT Grumbles criticism, rather than ascribe cars with valid IC parking Sir views to me that I do not permits. "Rotters!" I thought, Lexham Gardens possess. S'funny how many May I, through the pages of but then I realised of course that Dear Martin people assume that those who they must have been down FELIX, protest at the offensive- We live in a Head Tenancy ask for fair and unmisleading visiting someone from Oxford ness of this year's Rag Mag, a flat in Lexham Gardens. When reporting actually want biased because we happened to have copy of which I was unfortunate we moved in the flat was in a reporting—I assume this to be a overslept this particular day and enough to recently acquire. The disgusting state including (as we symptom of their closed minds. it was about 10:30am, and as we majority of the so-called 'jokes' found out to our cost) fleas in But I digress.) all know anybody who gets I found, as a Christian, both the carpets. Also the rent was Adrian James' letter was, like parking permits would of course vulgar and re'pulsive—especially put up by 22% to £22.50pw. those concerned with racism. I his original 'news' article use them every day unlike two In view of Mr Goulder's feel that it is a sad reflection on perhaps, not entirely unmis- hardworking PGs who never election pledge, (yet another one the state of our society when leading, so perhaps I may be work late or anything like that. broken), to improve Head some people can consider the permitted to 'worry' the word Yours non-forgivingly Tenancy accommodation we sort of material contained within 'betray' a little further. R Chapman wrote to both him and Students the Rag Mag as funny — Surely Mr James does not S Chapman Services. Mr Goulder's reply was thankfully, some of us still find need me to point out that Physics PGs totally unconcerned, he didn't this sort of 'humour' totally although one of the ten usages of answer our questions and he obnoxious. Having sampled the word 'betray' given by his PS: Today I came across a third passed the buck on to Students some of the 'student humour at dictionary is indeed "to indicate car and I realise now we should Services who have since done its irreverent best', I read the or show signs of, the other take up praying to Mecca as in nothing. editorial which added insult to more common usages all suggest certain other permit applications One member of our flat has injury, and made sure in my either inadvertence or some mentioned in this newspaper since confronted Mr Goulder mind that I should voice my dishonourable motive. When the before. with these problems and was disgust. Just because some of us word is used in the sense he We would be obliged if this is told, "I do not have time for have morals and ethics somewhat intended, the effect can be not edited too drastically and individuals." different to those of Mr Craw- ambiguous, as noted in Eric published in full if possible. It seems that Mr Goulder feels ford, does not give him justi- Partridge's excellent Usage and Thank You himself to be above the problems fication to refer to us as 'narrow- Abusage. 'Betray' is, I would of the ordinary student. minded' and 'shit filled', and it suggest, more usually applied in Mines Coffee the sense intended to inanimate Yours sincerely does not follow that we lead Dear Martin objects, where there is less scope Jonathan Holmes 'humourless, crapped-up lives'. In response to MA Gnus for ambiguity! (Incidentally, Physics 2 I would also like to point out whinings last week I should like Webster also notes its use for "to that the Rag Mag is one of our to bring to his attention the show or indicate"—but adds, J Soc Opinions contacts with outside world, and fabulous beverage service avail- "(as something not obvious on is thus taken by others as able on the first floor of the Dear Martin the surface)". Give or take the representative of the College Mines Building. For a mere lOp I as taken aback by the light odd pinstripe suit, I have always (even though it is not a fair you can enjoy the peace and hearted, carefree attitude shown found Sir Ashley's socialist representation of the whole quiet of a coffee-room full of in the J Soc article regarding the principles highly visible!) College). I, for one, am quite Minesmen (and women), the 'killing of innocent people in ashamed that the College of Finally, I won't make a cheap spectacle of life and death Lebanon...'. The article was which I am a member produces reference to the inevitable struggles with Gorfian Empires, indicating 'OK the number of and sells such a disgraceful printing errors that crept into Mr asteroid belts and Pacmen, or 'civilians' killed didn't reach 6m, publication—especially under James' letter, but on the subject the anguish as yet another so it can't be described as a such a misleading title. (I have of spelling, might I request that student finds that the infamous holocaust.' Surely no 'true' heard of an instance where a the next time someone chooses, coffee machine has swallowed religious faith (of any kind mother bought a copy for her however childishly, to spell his only lOp. Thrown in free whatever) can endure such a young child because of the 'Daily Torygraph' and not to with all this sundry entertain- stupid, nitpicking attitude. 'Janet and John' title.) 'correct' it as with my previous ment is the drink itself, an The article did get its message Finally, I would like to ask letter. (Mutters cry of 'Censor- irresistable chocolate or coffee across though—revealing yet whether or not the fact that ship' (!), and exits triumphantly brew carefully cultivated in the again the similarities between something makes money for (?)) dungeons of the Gerrards Cross the sadistic Nazis and the charity means that the thing Yours pedantically, and in haste, Maxpax factory. This assumes of Zionists. itself is necessarily right? Glyn Garside course that you are not one of Thank you. I hope very much that you EE3 the unlucky aforementioned Khalid print this letter, and I hope that (PS: I quite like FELIX really!) persons whose loss is RSMUs PG Maths Page 4 HHHMHHHMi HHHHHI FELIX Bar Accounts Christmas FELIX Next week there will be a normal Dr Schroter has at last agreed to Friday FELIX as usual. The let the Bar Committee see the following Friday, December 10, accounts provided they are kept there will be a FELIX Careers to people on that committee. EDITORIAL brochure instead of a regular This is a long way short of what issue, and the Christmas FELIX we were asking, but at least the will appear on the following accounts are available to proper Tuesday, December 14. Any student representatives, and not Steve Goulder was thought- them at some point in the future, ideas for features, humorous just to Stephen Goulder. less in publicly accusing Jon they are open to exactly the same articles, cartoons and general Gouldshit Barnett of theft; he should have criticism as they aimed at its been more careful in wording his publishers. festive merriment will be grate- Nick Pyne behaved unfairly letter. fully received. when he and his friends removed Leukaemia Sufferer Guildsheet on Wednesday morn- But with all the aggression and Barrie Holt of the Holland Club ing; they should have distributed ill-feeling floating around, most Impossible Without.... people have missed one over- has heard news of a ten-ye'ar-old Guildshit and left Guildsheet any of the regulars, and lots of riding point, namely that every- leukaemia sufferer who is trying alone, or distributed Guildshit new people too. Special mention one who has seen Guildshit has to get into the Guinness Book of on another day. to photographer Dave W Parry found it very funny. All the Records by receiving more Steve Bishop and Frank who risked his camera to get remaining copies are now in the letters than any other private Rowsell were hasty in sending pictures of Morphy Day, and to possession of Guilds. The individual over a given period of round the heavies to deal with Peter Hobbis who stayed up till newspaper was produced by time. If anyone wants to help, those responsible; they should the small hours printing them. Nick Pyne at his own expense, please write to Paul, PO Box 26, have dealt with the matter Sorry we didn't have room to and unless Guilds redistribute Paisley, Scotland. through official channels. publish them!

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FELIXI I November 26, 1982 Page 7 The Union General Meeting is there is something so important the policy-making body of ICU. UGM: A BORED GAME FOR that no-one can reach a decision, Campus-wide elections, ballots, it should be decided by five manifestos and referenda are CHILDREN OF ALL AGES thousand people who have not merely a hangover from demo- the faintest idea what the cratic idealism, and should be consequences of their decision abolished altogether. To justify will be. As an obvious example, this rather dramatic piece of do you really know more about anarchy, a cerain amount of the NUS than you have read in boring background is necessary. the newspaper articles or talked about in bars? If not, than you Democracy is the rule of the are probably in no position to people, for the people, by the vote in any future referendum on people—one person, one vote, the subject. and if that sounds like a recipe for the ultimate committee The logical conclusion is that meeting, that is exactly what it that all vital Union business is. It was even invented by a should be carried out by a committee—and in Greek at UGM. College-wide elections that. In fact, Ancient Greece and and referenda should be abo- Rome were the first attempted lished, so that at least voters democratic states, and the fact would have a chance of hearing that both collapsed (through bad people who know what they are government) rather a long time talking about before casting the ago does not alter the fact that votes. If you cannot be bothered we still worship their ideas of to turn up to a UGM, you democracy without really under- probably should not be allowed standing them. near a ballot-box anyway. At least the majority of those who This ideal is absolutely attend are (comparatively) impractical, so what happens is responsible—I was pleasantly that the actual business of ruling surprised when at the last is carried out by a group of (obviously inquorate) meeting people elected by universal the Quorum Caller Extraodinary suffrage. This ruling body does waited until after an important the work for you, and if you 1. There should be at least 300 participants. A shorter version but boring motion on the Bar don't like the results you elect involving fewer people is available and is called 'Quorum Subcommittee before doing his someone else the next time Caller'. bit. round. 2. The players elect a Chairman who puts on a pink At this point the system begins turban/red nose/false beard/wooden leg or similar and starts the I expect at least a dozen to fall apart. Firstly, your game with the words "I open this UGM at six minutes past one". shocked letters accusing me of representatives spend more time 3. A speaker is chosen at the Chairman's discretion. (The being an anarchist, communist trying to get re-elected than they Chairman's discretion is, of course, legendary-that is, totally or merely raving lunatic for mythical.) do actually governing. Secondly, attempting to remove the 'k' 4. The speaker must talk for two minutes on any subject the whole business became so from Democracy (think about without repetition, hesitation, deviation, punctuation or specialised that the only people it). To forestall a few arguments, mentioning the NUS. I shall close with the faults that I who really know what is happen- 5. The remaining players should attempt to put him off by ing are those in government. At booing, hissing, shouting and suggesting procedural motions. have been able to think of in this this point, the idea of a referen- 6. Players may also interrupt by attempting to 'submit system. dum on (for example) whether to information' out of turn. When this happens, the Chairman Solutions, comments, critic- leave the EEC becomes pointless, shouts, 'Shut up Stephen!' and scores a point. isms, men in white coats to me at because the decision is then 7. Politics may only be introduced when no-one can think of the FELIX Office, Wednesday taken by fifty million people motions. Like mathematics, politics is merely a substitute for 1:00pm. who have not the slightest idea thought. Suitable games for quasi-political boring hacks are The first fault is that people 'University of London Union', 'NUS' and 'Euthanasia'. of what they are voting about, who cannot get to UGMs 8. The Chairman always wins because only he really except what they pick up from the because of prior commitments understands what is going on. The person who has won most television and newspapers, games at the end of the year is elected Union President and must (or just a desire to eat lunch on which are not necessarily un- shave off his beard for charity. Tuesdays and Thursdays) lose biased—in fact, political broad- their only previous say in Union casts and publicity ensure that only a handful of votes ahead of .boycotts are promised. affairs. The second is that not all this is so. Bob Holding, who stood as a As an additional problem (I competent sabbatical candidates This is roughly what is 'joke candidate' and would quote unashamedly) it is a well- are eloquent speakers—it is easy happening at Imperial; Union probably have been the worst known fact that the last peson to vote for an impressive piece of officers are elected by guesswork President since...(insert name as who should be given power is the oratory by a potentially bad or by default (any semi-literate reader thinks fit). In fact, if he one who wants it so badly that Union officer. Thirdly, we could hack could be Publicity Officer had had a few more supporters, he will start his campaign a term end up with far too many people by now if he had stood for the he might have been in the in advance. (Question: who is at UGMs—the Great Hall has post). Sabbaticals are not elected embarrassing position of occupy- carrying out a Nick Pyne limited capacity. However, there by the people who have worked ing a post that he did not really defamation campaign in pre- is no rule that UGMs must be with them and know their want, having been chosen by a paration for the presidential held in the Great Hall—one capabilities, but by an electorate random candidate-selection pro- election? Answers on a plain could apparently be held in the that will only have a photograph cess which favours (in order of postcard to Jon Stanley, c/o Ladies' Toilets in Beit Hall. You and a page of publicity from importance), humour, original Guildsheet, C&GU). could throw some good parties which to judge. publicity, good legs, ability to that way. Abolish Elections Last year's presidential elec- ridicule people at UGMs and in Next week: Bring a bottle tion was a case in point. At the the FELIX letters pages and the The idea of a referendum is Council meetings. first stage, Stephen Goulder was conviction with which refectory even more ludicrous—that if Adrian James Page 81 November 26, 1982 FELIX most important way (can you stopping anyone from opposing even remember who sat next to his amendments). Food for Thought? you at your freshers' dinner?) Successive presidents have by Jon Stanley Not going to a freshers' dinner promised to improve freshers' does not blight you for the rest dinners. Nothing has changed Last year the three constituent Attendances at the dinners has of your time at IC (I never went for the better; in fact they have college unions spent over £2,000 fallen over recent years; an to mine in my first year and it got worse. Perhaps the time has on freshers' dinners. Now £2,000 extreme example is DOC—less has not done me any harm!) come for ICU to be a bit more does not strike me as a large sum than twenty people went to this The Guilds President was only critical when considering the when discussing union finances, year's freshers' dinner compared able to prevent the 'stop the CCU claims, after all there are but it is worth asking if anyone to over 130 in my first year. freshers' dinner' motion being plenty of ICU clubs that could derives any benefit from this Few people are satisfied that passed by promising to change usefully spend that £2,000. expenditure, particularly since the meal they receive is worth next year's dinners (and by last week's Guilds UGM came £8.50 per head charged by Mr very close to telling the Union's: Mooney. I have never heard officers to stop freshers dinners anyone describe the food as better altogether. than 'tolerable*. Freshers' dinners give new Very few people enjoy the OF MINES students the opportunity to get dinner enough to want to come to know staff and students from to another in their second or ANNUAL M1,I, % their own department and third year. Moreover a signifi- generally to have a pleasant cant number actually feel they 9 evening socialising. That anyway have been "ripped off by the Jri*.- - fvrt ,u,i»JiJ J is the sales patter used to Union—hardly a good way of tttit M*.«Kt«,1 persuade freshers to part with encouraging participation in their money. How far the other union activities. ? dinners come up to these ideals Few staff attend the dinners is the subject of this article. Those who do often only go /WrV Ti,i.t <.V,Y Inevitably it is based on my because they feel it is their duty (r.-m %.'S,XtU. ,

Head Comp III & Wilson T3000 OM-10 plus ER case £70ono. Con- Civ Eng II failed to bridge the gap in Tennis Rackets. Top quality gut head class and skill, and got rivted 5-2 in the and synthetic Wilson, strung tight, tact Jim Miller, Geology 2 letter-racks. process. Structural analysis: PW5. Civ both with original racket covers, To 2nd yr Biochemist (scar on Eng 2. PW rule the building trade. HEAD £30, WILSON £20ono. Contact LOWER lip) and OBSERVANT friend: Small Ads Mike See, Chem Eng PG. Rm E245, int Would the owner of the black bra thanks. Is payment for H 0 required? 2027. 2 found at the bottom of staircase 5 late Nice to be remembered passionately, Sunday care to collect it from M HP programmable calculator owner? remember you too, Sugar (!?) A level Evans, 155 Falmouth Keogh. Want to try a new intergration routine, chemist—Zofia. Request reply. Lock up your goldfishes! The Star Trek game, machine program- I'm dreaming of a white DHIMMI X Wanted: Articles for The Phoenix, cardboard cut-out and Pete are back! ming technique? Why not come to the Angie the magazine of IC Union. Send your GP Users' Club meeting, Saturday X of Paris (otherwise known as Dhimi, Dimmi and Dimi wish it to be contributions to the FELIX Office. December 4, Mech Eng 313, 2:00pm. Fran(tic) Lay): Thanks for not charg- known that they are in no way Details from W A C Mier-Jedrzejowicz, ing the usual fee for services rendered. connected with Dhimmi. Vivien That last (space-filling) small Physics. Python of Linstead 127. John Barnet, John Barnett, Jon ad wasn't quite as big as you thought Washburn vulture electric bass and You'll believe a mutilated pile of was it? Love Martin. Bamet and Jon Barnett, you're all flesh, bones and metal plates can Carlsboro Cobra bow bass combo, Dhimmis! A quote from Petunia Karl, I've excellent condition, £160. Contact J fly—see S W Ritefein, Aero 2. Angie of Linstead, you're a dhimmi. always wanted to rub my head against Steel, Chem Eng letter-racks. The lone ranger; children's play I'm dhimmi of a white Christmas. your chest'....I'm sure you can rub Squash rackets: Classic 003, £12ea. ground is down the road. Tonto. other parts of his body as well! Also selection of American-made Oh, dear, what can a Dhimmi be? IC Ents 4 Selkirk 1 A skill level this Penny from Worcester Eryl sends Manta rackets. See Sportscentre Dhimmi again, don't know where, high requires almost religious mania. her regards—Karl. Squash Club noticeboard for details don't know when... Girls! My body for your electrical Anne, have you never had one that or ring Dave 731-6301 late eve. Free employment advice Beit Arch appliances. Interested? Contact the large before? Hlllman Hunter, K reg, new exhaust, 0930 Sunday and ask for Norman. one-harmed bandit or Life Sci 3. Got lots of friends? Then you'll need MoT till May 83, good runner £130. Change of address: Alan Pearson Glider pilots stay up longer! Have piles of Christmas cards, JCR, 12:30- Contact N Ahmad, Elec Eng UG (formerly of Ongar Rd, Fulham) now you had a trial flight yet? Come to any 2:30 on Friday Nov 26. pigeonholes. rises at HM Parkhurst, IOW. Gliding Club Meeting, every Thursday Marion Chem Eng 1: Saying that Wanted: Cheap television set (b&w Mahler Symphony no 9 One ticket of 5:30pm in Aero 254. won't entice me to nibble at your or colour). Contact Dave Rowe, Chem £5. Andrew Davis conducts the Graffitti prints all sorts of things. flapjacks you know! Gary EE3. 2 or via FELIX Office. Philharmonic Orchestra on Wed Dec 8 Time to print your Xmas cards now. Help! Oramsoc need a Publicity in Royal Festival Hall, contact Cheh Demo 1pm Wed. We have heard it on the grapevine Officer. Come and talk to a member of that Jon Stanley EE4 may stand for Goh, EEPG, int 1490. Winter Tennis: 4 tennis players with the committee if interested or ring us ICU President 83/84. Makes you Mamiya, ns1000s SLR camera very good club standard needed for indoor on int 2854. wonder... good condition, £80. Contact Cheh courts, at Vanderbilt Racquet Club, Flatshare: Double room available in Goh, EE PG, int 1490. near Shepherds Bush tube. Please Note Two tickets for Slade, 17 Dec. circle Lexham Gardens, £22.50pw. Phone IC Windband Despite having the The Royal College of Music Canteen £3.50. Contact M Johnson, Met 3. 373-17367 ask for anyone in flat 2. largest windband for years we still will not be open to IC students Ford Cortina Estate 1973, ring 286- Flat for sale: Highgate. Top floor have room for more players, parti- on Wednesday December 1. 6748. conversion, 1 bed, fitted kitchen, loft, cularly oboists, basoonists, trom- The Bar, however, will remain available. lease 121 years. Near transport, Guns: BSA 'Scorpion' Air Pistol 0.22 bonists and a percussionist. If you £27,000, int 3024, eves 341-2542. calibre, good condition £15; also BSA play (you don't haye to be very good) Christmas Hall Dinner Reward for return of green loose knit 'Meteor' air rifle 0.22 calibre, perfect and can spare a mere hour and a half a Wed 15 Dec 1982 sweater lost in top hall at Guilds £50. Contct Gary Smith via Civ Eng week, then come along to the Great Places still available! Carnival. Please contact Jeremy letter-racks or at the Rifle Range. Hall on Monday at 5:45pm. For more See Pat in the Union Office. Humphreys, Mat Sci 2 RSM or phone Bookings close 7 December. Renault 16 automatic electric details contact Mike Hodgson, 642-2080 after College. £8 per head. sunroof and windows, L reg. £100ono. Physics 2. Bored? Lonely? Depressed? If so Dinner jacket/Lounge suit. Andrew, 286-4343 or C Plug through IC Wind Band still requires oboes, find companionship at the Badminton DOC 3 letter-racks. bassoonists, percussionists and Club general meeting on Tuesday atk Renetly anyone who can wield a wind instru 7:30pm in the Volleyball Court. Ultravox tickets, circle seats, Gentlemen's Hairdressers ment (even clarinettists!). Tennis Club: There will be a mens Hammersmith Odeon, Fri Dec 3, 3 Discount for students and staff! Cyclists do it with cranks, Beit Arch. doubles tournament on Dec 4. See tickets available £5.50. Contact Cut: first visit £3, second visit and after "930h Sunday. noticeboard in sportscentre before Richard Heath, Chem Eng 2 or 997- £2.50; Shampoo, cut and blow dry: first Dec 1 for further details. 9002. A belated Happy Birthday to tne 1st visit, £4.20; second visit and after £3.85. Many thanks to Steve Goulder again Job hunting: specialist advice and year physicist with a spot above his Mon to Fri 9am to 5pm and Beit security guard for helping the accurate typing (plus copies) of your right eyebrow BUT without a scar on Sat 9am to 12 noon Soup Runners find a van a week last curriculum vitae at reduced rates. his upper (or lower for that matter) lip. Renetly, 154a Cromwell Rd, SW7 Tuesday—Community Action Group. Contact Ms S Otiv, BA Hons, Dip Anon. (Next to British Airways Building) PGSL on Intnal tel no 2740. Toulaln Roadworks on the M1. Appointments not always necessary. FELIXflD I November 26, 19821 I Page9 CND END SANA

An information guide to Peace Groups at IC compiled by Zoe Saunders What a Nuclear Attack CND Run at IC by undergraduates Really Means and PGs. Activities include: Monday: CND Bookshop JCR Written by Research Scientists at IC Thursday: Weekly meeting Beit Discussion group. END Organise a Newsletter Formed Spring 1980 Speaker meetings Non-membership organisation which extends the movement Films eg 'The Bomb' for nuclear disarmament to incorporate all of Europe—East and Discussion groups West. Publicise peace events at IC Founded on an APPEAL to all European countries to work for a and for national CND NUCLEAR FREE EUROPE. The many signatories include: CONTACTS for CND at IC: Alva Myrdal (Nobel Peace Prize 1982) Alex Christou (Maths 2) Kurt Vonnegut European Conventions Clive Harries (Mech Eng PG) Fenner Brockway Brussels 1982 Publishes END Bulletin Robert Kelsey (Civ Eng 3) Bruce Kent Berlin 1983 END Papers SANA

Scientists Against Nuclear Arms Founded in March 1981 at Milton Keynes. This is an independent organization formed in response to the escalation of the Arms Race and the consequent danger of nuclear war. Its membership includes natural and social scientists, engineers &oo4, 6ve*ui\jJ - and technologists, statisticians and psychologists. rW do jo*i d° ? Its purpose is to provide reliable and objective information on technical matters concerning nuclear arms and other weapons of mass destruction. It seeks to serve all sections of the peace and disarmament movement, Members of Parliament, local Councillors, Church and Trade Union leaders and to inform the media and the general public. It maintains contact and exchanges information with groups in other countries having similar aims. SANA consists of local Working Groups, whose members research and publish papers, reports, factsheets, speakers notes, bibliographies, media reports and I am frm Me books, such as London After the Bomb. Publications cover such topics as Nuclear Weapons and Delivery Systems, Civil Defence, Disarmament, Nuclear Power, Psychology of the Arms Race. SANA runs advisory/briefing/consultancy services for Local Authorities, medical and religious committees and other similar organizations. For example, SANA members expertise aided the BMAEnquiry into the Medical Effects of Nuclear Weapons, due to be published in 1983, provided factual information for the Chairman of the Church of England Committee on The Church and the Bomb, and undertook critical computer analysis providing detailed casualty figures for the CND Hard Luck Civil Defence Simulation. CHAIRMAN : Mike Pentz Dean of Science Faculty OPEN UNIVERSITY CONTACTS for END and SANA at IC : Tom Kibble (IC Physics) David Caplin (ICPhysics) Mike Barnett (ICPhysics) Keith Barnham (ICPhysics) Norman Barford (ICPhysics) Philip Webber (IC Physics/Co-author of London After The Bomb) 'f- doesn't- ofa sho Work for Peace

at Imperial College iecqqie / keep a lou pn>f,le PagelOl I November 26, 19821 I FELIX IREVIEWSHi The second play, Conversations in Exile, was written by Bertolt Brecht and adapted by Black Balls Howard Brenton (who wrote The Romans in Britain). In this production Case and Kalipha play Kalle and Ziffel respectively, two exiles and Exiles from Nazi Germany who meet in a bar in Finland. As in the first play, the two characters Four Hundred Pounds by Alfred Fagon have different viewpoints and attitudes—Kalle and Conversations in Exile by Bertolt is a socialist and Ziffel a capitalist businessman Brecht, adapted by Howard Brenton, and physics researcher. They begin a game of director Roland Rees, Royal Court pool and as their evening progresses they Theatre Upstairs. Foco Novo Theatre discuss topics such as freedom, passports, Company. fascism and cockroaches. Often Kalle and A double-bill, each piece featuring the same Ziffel agree but each arrives at his conclusion two black actors Gordon Case and Stephan via a different route from the other. Kalipha. The plays have the themes of exiles The importance of the pool game in the and the game of pool in common. Four action of Conversations is negligible. More to Hundred Pounds concerns two black partners the point, what chance would there be of who play pool for a living, surviving by finding an American pool table in a bar in gambling on their game. The story begins with Finland in 1940? None! Presumably this pool a dispute between the two, which threatens table which has travelled in time and/or space their long friendship. Tecee (played by Case) is part of Howard Brenton's adaptation of has deliberately potted the white ball with the Brecht's original work. The playwright of Four black at the end of a frame which carried a Hundred Pounds is obviously not a pool player stake of four hundred pounds, thus losing both either since his characters refer to 'reds' in a the game and the money. pool game. Evidently he is confusing snooker The heated argument continues, with Tecee with the aforementioned American poor Gordon Case in Pot Black pose. displaying his disillusionment at his hand-to- imitation. mouth existence. He feels that he must pursue Possibly the most important reason for only be cast parts in productions such as Loue a more stable and worthwhile lifestyle. Bees, showing these plays as a double bill is that they They Neighbour or Mixed Blessings or be his partner, cannot believe or understand this present black actors in one play which features called upon to play the stereotyped black. The change in Tecee, and has a different attitude to blacks as characters (Tecee and Bees) and in number of black Macbeths or Hamlets is small. coping with being black in Britain. He prefers another play which doesn't. Historically there That is, actors from ethnic minorities have not to stay out of the system, he's a survivor who have been few theatrical opportunities for been judged on merit. Some progress is being is content to scrape a living playing pool. racial minorities, for example blacks would made to recognise the talents of black actors. You may have noticed the token black syndrome in advertisements recently. That is, if an advert features more than say six different people then one of them must be non-white. In Acting this way the advertising media pays lipservice to ethnic minorities—they acknowledge they and Overacting exist. But in how many adverts featuring only one person is that person black? I can only think of one and the character in that advert is Lenny Henry who is already well-known. Man and Superman by Bernard Shaw, directed by Patrick Dromgoole; Theatre Nick Hill Royal, Haymarket. In last week's review of Major Barbara at the Cottesloe Theatre I mentioned that the play was one of three by means of which Shaw Camelot—the film converted the theatre into a place of provocation and debate. Man and Superman, My first reaction on hearing that Camelot was which has just opened at the Theatre Royal, a musical based on the legend of King Arthur Haymarket, is one of the others (the third was skepticism. My suspicion was increased being John Bull's Other Island). when it became apparent that the model for Peter O'Toole takes the part of John the story was T H White's The Once and Tanner, the play's central character. Tanner is Future King whose subtle blend of gentle a rather cynical bachelor who has earned humour and pathos would, I thought, transfer Peter O'Toole as John Tanner mistrust and contempt because of his little poorly to the more brash medium of song and book Maxims for Revolutionists from the like a distraught warthog eyeing a stampede of dance. But, on leaving the cinema I felt it could Revolutionist's Handbook and Pocket rhinoceros approaching in all earnestness. His have been much worse. Vanessa Redgrave Companion by John Tanner MIRC (Member speech was often incoherent, with the ends of adds some sparkle to the acting and the of the Idle Rich Class). A will entrusts Tanner his words frequently slurred, and he staggered costumes and the sets lend a feel of with the guardianship of a beautiful lady by the about the stage, his feet not knowing where authenticity and a certain excitement to the name of Anne Whitefield (played by Lisa they were going and his long slender legs overall spectacle. The generally turgid dialogue Harrow of BBC TV's Nancy Astor), but this looking as if they were going to give way any is improved by the odd sharp one-liner and it has to be done jointly with Octavius Robinson, second. Anyone would have thought the man makes a gallant attempt to tell the whole story a delicate and aspiring young poet (Timothy was pissed. Yes, his acting was almost (not an easy task). Ackroyd), who has a naive understanding of embarrassing. Success and fame have clearly However, now to the less savoury elements; life and women. The plot is too complicated to gone to Mr O'Toole's head, making him the songs are only noteworthy because of their elaborate here but the character of Tanner is behave like a male prima donna. However, immemorability. As for the story, it starts well quite clearly Shaw's mouthpiece. John Tanner after this initial outburst, things did seem to enough but falls to pieces, not seeming to turns morality upside-down and exposes the improve a great deal (unless I was getting used know which way to go in the last hour, and the grasping cunningness of women when it comes to it). When Mr O'Toole spoke in a quiet film as a whole suffers from the Hollywood to love and marriage. Man and Superman is an manner he did hold the stage and one's conception of England and the English. It also extremely clever play, full of comic mis- attention magnificently. suffers (with a few exceptions) from a lack of understandings and superb jokes. The acting from the rest of the cast was imagination with the camera, and I got rather The production is an accomplished one, but excellent. Particular mention must go to Lisa tired of seeing close-ups of the face of Richard one did have one's doubts at the beginning, Harrow, James Grout as Roebuck Ramsden, Harris (Arthur) complete with furrowed brow namely, Mr O'Toole. After the first five and Michael Byre as Henry Straken, a motor when he's about to make some (supposedly) minutes of the play, which comprised some mechanic. Despite Peter O'Toole's excesses, profound statement. excellent acting, Mr O'Toole burst upon the this remains a very commendable production. In short, it's worth a look at if you're a fan of stage shrieking at the top of his hoarse voice Nick Bedding musicals but otherwise unremarkable. FELIX November 26, 1982 Pagell Despite its faults, George Romero's Creep- show (AA, ABC Fulham Road, Shaftesbury Avenue, Classic Haymarket) may prove to be the surprise hit of the year. With a screenplay by top horror author Stephen King (Carrie, The Shining, etc) and the director of Night of the Living Dead, it boasts an impressive pedigree and turns out to be an outrageous blend of horror and comedy. Structured as a series of comic book episodes, Creepshow is a fond tribute to the marvellously over-the-top stories produced by EC Comics. When a young boy's father throws his new Creepshow Comic away, a spectral host appears to guide us through five episodes, each introduced by the turning of a new page. As the drawings melt into live action the comic book style is maintained by the use of vivid colours and exaggerated motions. The stories are populated by a set of unusual, larger than life characters; in Father's Day dotty old Aunt Bedelia returns to the Stephen King hams it up as Jordy Verrill. grave of her murdered father (as she does every year on that date). But he has ideas for a The last two stories are Something To Tide The use of comic book frames is effective, but celebration of his own...This is followed by The You Over and the exceedingly creepy They're the marvellously hammed up characters and Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill in which Creeping Up On You, which may turn you into unusual lighting alone create a hugely author King plays a wonderfully overdone a trembling heap next time you see a enjoyable 'comic book feel' which any fan will bumkin who finds a meteorite in his cockroach. appreciate. This makes for a very funny film, garden—but is it the solution to all his financial Overall the film is entertaining and at times which just about manages to tread the fine line troubles? very funny indeed. Despite claims that you will between homage and satire successfully. My favourite piece, for the audacious title leave the cinema terrified, it is not this element On reflection some of the Corman 'Poe' above all, was The Crate starring Hal which stands out. There is little time to build films, which must have been an influence on Holbrook as a timid husband contemplating any of the stories into anything truly Romero, may be more satisfying (will BBC2 the murder of his loud wife (played by frightening (as with many other episodic films), include The Raven in their Boris Karloff Adrienne Barbeau with suitable abandon). and you come to expect the shocks, knowing season I plead?), but Creepshou; comes as a When a nosy janitor finds an old abandoned each piece can only last so long. Romero welcome break from the truly horrific spate crate in the local university, he unwittingly seems to have accounted for this quite well, of 'slash the screaming teenager' movies of unlocks a creature with awesome teeth and an but his timing was noticeably off here and recent years. It deserves to do very well and unusually strong desire to return to his former there. can be thoroughly recommended under the solitude. Put them together and the mayhem Horror aside, the comic book and comedy category 'good clean fun'. has to start soon! elements are left to shine alone—and they do. Mark Smith

Rather more uptempo, just opened at the Easy Meat Plaza is Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, written and directed by Carl Reiner, who, in true Well, it's back to the fifties again this week for Hitchcock style, also makes a brief personal another look at the American youth culture of appearance. This film is a tribute to the the time. Director Barry Levinson has thrillers of the 40s and 50s. If Diner was big on discovered a new hang out for his 'in' crowd: at character but short on action, this film sets off the local all night Diner, which is now playing at a gallop from the very start, and by the end at the Empire Leicester Square and the ABC of the first reel we are inextricably entangled in Fulham Road. this spoof film noir plot and waist deep in red The central characters are five men in their herrings, as the action comes as fast as the early twenties who have lost all desire to grow wisecracks. up, and are content to live out their lives Our latter day Marlowe, Rigby Reardon, is spending their time at the Diner, where trying to emulate his hero. A suspicious death, attractions include eating what look like a hit list and bodies falling thick and fast, but Mooney chips in gravy or watching a man built our hero struggles on with just a few bullet along the lines of a supertanker, eating his way wounds and a cut lip; underneath it all, of through half of the menu, to the accompani- course, is a madman intent on world ment of piped music of the Johnny Mathis/ domination. More Fleming than Marlowe? Frank Sinatra variety. 'Diner' Mooney's with piped music! Well therin lies the rub. This is updated Excitement indeed, only matched by the Marlowe where greater things are at stake scintillating conversation, mainly concerned This rather downbeat film is enlivened by than the ruin of the odd smalltime gangster. with girls and music. The talk about music the active script of Mr Levinson who draws his Our hero also commits the heinous crime of reveals that even in 1959, the crooners still characters with insight and great affection. falling for his (female) client, squeezing held the interest of this age group, and it was The diner is their retreat from the real world toothpaste over her shoes and talking about considered rather rakish to prefer rock-n-roll. with its beckoning responsibilities of careers pyjamas. This temporal warp is emphasised by In a world still to hear the word feminism, and families. For people who don't have an using clips from the original films, cut in, some girls have one object: tame their man tie him to institution like university to insulate them and times cleverly out of context, to the new the home. The knack is to enjoy playing with postpone the growing up process, the Diner is material. This is done by various means. The your matches, but not to get burned. The guys a good substitute. standard method of the time for filming a talk about their mixed up feelings towards the It is a visually appealing film with huge old dramatic scene with a close-up of the star's fair sex, in a way they only feel they can with American cars trundling about mingled with face filmed over the shoulder of the co-star the lads down at the diner, as they try to garish neon and washed out shots of desolate who is out of focus is exploited, replacing one reconcile the easy undemanding friendship of industrialised landscapes at dawn as our of the protagonists to produce curious results, their peers to the complex world of love and heroes finish another night of mutual including Rigby serenading Gary Grant with sex. examination and make their way home. his harmonica and the hopping into Grant's Page 12nHMHBnH November 26, 1982 M III I Ml IIIIIIWIHI1M —IIMIII—llll IIIIIIHW11 III FELIX IREVIEWSI shoes for that memorable scene with Ingrid trying to emulate Bogart's sexual image to his The story concerns Edward, an Oxford Bergman in Notorious. mundane world. Rigby as the dick-head private undergraduate who is a gifted actor, a I could be wrong, but I think this is the first dick takes to the whole lifestyle and tries to womaniser, and a thoroughly nasty piece of time a tribute has been undertaken in this way. introduce more modern dialogue. The result is work. The film follows his relationship with The result is a shade irreverant and bears humour as Rigby struggles with the oversize Ann, a fellow student. Ann and Edward, and comparison with Woody Allen's tribute to the mantle he has inherited from Marlowe. The indeed most of the other main characters, are film noir world of Bogart in P/ay It Again Sam. superhuman control we expect, as the n n involved in the University Dramatic Society's In Allen's film he is worshipping his hero and tries to break through the mask, the emotions production of The Duchess of Malfi. Parts of betrayed in the narrative rather than the face, this play are seen in rehearsal and performance contrasted with the transparent Reardon, who during the course of the film, and one is left takes advantage of Juliet Forest; the rather with a nagging feeling that some of the action lack-lustre heroine, when she faints into his in the play might parallel in some way the story arms on their first encounter. unfolding around it. If this is the case, however, I unreservedly recommend this film to any it is never really made clear enough; if it isn't, fan of the tough guy-sleuth genre, or those too much attention is focused on the play. who enjoy sophisticated humour, which, The problem with presenting a love story although occasionally misfiring, normally such as this is that, because neither of the succeeds in getting a laugh; some of the main protagonists evoke any sympathy, there wisecracks are worthy of Marlowe himself. is no great feeling of involvement with the plot. Lee Paddon The makers claim that the film gives an accurate account of contemporary under- graduate life at Oxford. If this is so, then the Obnoxia in suspicions of many IC students are indeed correct—Oxford students are a bunch of Oxonia arrogant obnoxious bastards. There are only Privileged, AA, Directed by Michael three likable characters in the film, and all Hoffman. three of them get stamped on in one way or Privileged is a film about Oxford under- another. Jamie and Lord Adrian both suffer graduates, and was written, directed, from Edward's treatment of the two women produced and acted primarily by Oxford they respectively love, and Imogen, a friend of students. It is rather surprising, therefore, to Ann's, is assaulted in an incident which seems discover that technically the film is very good, to have only a coincidental connection with the surpassing many produced on a much larger main plot. budget by far more experienced film-makers. Despite the deficiencies in storyline, though, As a piece of entertainment, though, it is it must be said again that this is a well made rather disappointing; the plot fails to live up to and well acted film, and it is to be hoped that the standard of the other ingredients of the the people involved will go on to greater things. 'Dead Man' Reardon foils the vile plot. film. Dave Jago

barrage of rhythm and electronics, spiced with album—more luxurious, seamless, sinewy pop Dick Witts' lyrical attacks on government and from the 'Sons and Fascination' stable. Also on Blancmange church, displaying a naked power only hinted Virgin, Culture Club's 'Kissing to be Clever', at on vinyl, (their encore of 'Lost In Music' is yet another greatest hits for a debut, you'll find sounding the alter-ego of the associates 'Love their recent single hit here, plus the superlative Hangover'). Dip into their singles selection, 'White Boy', and 'I'm Afraid of Me' singles too. especially the recent 'Xoyo' as" which boasts a At times Boy George's harmonies rival the Hungry superior version of 'Born Every Minute', that is Jacksons—no mean feat! From the sweetest Much to the chagrin of the Musician's Union, truly 'Dancing Through Dark Times'. boy to 'The Sweetest Girl', the oldest and still the dreaded synthesiser has gained in Since 'Don't You Want Me', released at the the finest track on Scritti Politti's 'Songs To popularity over the last year and a bit, due end of 1981, the Human League haven't made Remember' (Rough Trade). Svengali Green largely to Soft Cell's superbly sparse Tainted a noise until the current hit 'Mirror Man'. No parades his gospel/funk/swing influences for Love/Where Did Our Love Go, and the radical departure from formula. Without Phil all to see, but this adds up to much more than rejuvinated Human League. The latter and Suzanne crooning at each other, the mere plagarism. Check the winsome 'Jacques producing a string of dance floor hits pepped nation switched its attention to David and Perida'; a new era of late light music? Apart up by producer Martin Rushen's Linn Theresa—Dollar. I was going to suggest that from a new, rambling 'Lions After Slumber' Computer drums (replacing the rather weedy you buy someone 'The Dollar Album' (WEA) and the oddly truncated 7" version of rhythm boxes of old with some much-needed for Christmas so you could tape the excellent 'Faithless', an album to savour. muscle). Now, hardly a week goes by without string of Trevor Horn-produced singles that To pointless singles: The Higsons' 'Tear the yet another electropop band on Top of the ranged from 'Hand Held in Black and White' to Whole Thing Down' on Two-Tone, is too Pops. Compared to the economy of an 'Videotheque'. Don't!—Buy the singles instead tinny, and not enough funky, and quite why a 'isolation' or a 'temptation', the razor-sharp as the dippy duo have produced a number of Certain Ratio should record a new version of arrangements of 'New Life' or a 'Don't Go', the self-penned turkeys, and re-mixed the hits with 'Knife Slits Water' (Factory) as dull and lifeless likes of Thomas Dolby, Tears for Fears, China dire consequences. 'Give me Back my Heart' as this is beyond me. Instead, a quick plug for Crisis (and even Soft Cell of late), leave much suffers from heavy-handedness, and under their colourful 'sextet' album which ranges to be desired with new tunes that are finicky Dollar's hands falls on the wrong side of from the usual abstract funk on 'Below the and weak; too much sugar-coating on a soft overproduction, and anyway, 'Mirror Mirror', Canal' to the mock-Latin frivolity of centre. So it's refreshing to listen to Happy with its Kraftwerk-like acknowledgment of 'Skipscada, everything pivoting around the Families (London) by Blancmange who at least space and minimalism, remains the finest original tense and uneasy version of 'Knife'. sound hungry as opposed to well-fed and electropop of the year. Lastly, the biggest delight of the week was bloated. It contains their current success Three recent re-releases at around £3; CBS hearing the new album from Siouxsie and 'Living on the Ceiling', the third in a run of fine have The Clash's first album out again, whilst Bandshees called 'A Kiss in the Dreamhouse' singles, all of which you'll find here. I hope they EMI come up with 'Searching for the Young (Polydor) this is their best yet. Whilst 'Ju-ju' get around to releasing the abrasive Soul Rebels', the Dexys Mk 1 Stax/Motown produced a couple of excellent singles in instrumentals they wrote for Micha Bergese's homage. 'Fourth Drawer Down' (Situation 2) 'Spellbound' and 'Arabian Nights', and boasted dance group 'Mantis'. The Passage augment by The Associates is currently gracing the the excellent guitaring of John McGeoch, the their electronics with guitar, and a flesh and racks at the HMV Shop in Oxford Street, and structure of the songs was essentially the usual blood drummer, their new album Degenerates as this essential selection of pre-'Suck' singles Banshees whirlpool of gothic horror and (Cherry Red) finds them further refining their was previously only available as a pricey childhood nightmares. 'Cascades' the opening highly original sound with songs that range German import, it's well worth snapping up. track sets the tone; a nod to the past, but also from the gay abandon of 'Xoyo' to the uneasy Simple Minds have come on in leaps and a vanguard for the new style, less claustro- peace of 'Love Is As'. More than enough for bounds since their watered-down magazine phobic than of old, with pan pipes and mardi the converted, but unlikely to win new fans. days, and as the third single to be lifted from gras alongside Severin's insistent bass lines The live Passage is a different beast altogether 'New Gold Dream' (Virgin), slips into the and McGeogh's chimgin guitar. Consume! as they showed at IC recently; a formidable 'Fabulous Fun Forty', cast an ear to the Nigel Brand FELIX November 26, 1982 Page13 ICLUBS & SOC.ET.ESI

Keeping Warm with an Axe STOIC Bookshop News Braces Owners Manual, a guide to the wearing and care of braces The STOIC dictator, Martin Z Galtieri, has Social Odours in Mammals Every year at the Frankfurt Book Fair, a prize decided that this week's column shall be Population and Other Problems devoted to convincing students that STOIC is is given to the oddest title. This Fair attracts somewhat different to a banana republic. publishers from all over the world. Previous As you can see, a good selection. We can a) Frontiers: Any member of the IC Union winners have included such noteworthy titles get these titles, but they will take some time can cross the border into the studios, bringing as "Proceedings of the second International We have a good selection of Christmas as much booze as they like, they'll probably Workshop on Nude Mice" and "The Madam cards and wrapping paper, some really good need it. Citizenship is achieved by application As Entrepreneur Career Management in books that will make good presents. to the local royalty. House Prostitution". Shortlisted titles for this Stationery items, the new design enamel pill b) Government: Something like the psuedo- year are: boxes with either the College Crest on, or a democracy practised in Britain except that in general view of the College £21.50. If there are The Sacred and the Feminine—towards a STOIC, if enough people want to produce any books you want, we can always get them. theology of housework something the ruling junta has to give in (ie not We are a general bookshop, not just academic. Organising Deviance take the equipment home to play with). The So long as a book is in print, we can get it. Carrots Love Tomatoes enthusiasm of this year's first year could Teach Your Chicken to Fly Manual At the recent Fellows Dinner, your account for the late appearance of Electric What do Socks do illustrious President was somewhat taken Blue 008. aback when I introduced him to my wife. Even The Creation (Revised Edition) c) Freedom: To our knowledge no STOIC Bookshop Managers have wives! I hope he Sex After Death member has ever disappeared under strange enjoyed the book! Scurvy Past and Present circumstances, no mass graves have been discovered, yet. d) Quality of Life: There's food for all, reasonable, if unpredictable, hours, plenty of go to all 135 pubs you are given 4.5 gallons of then please come to our next meeting (6:00pm sleep, nice weather (usually very hot unless beer by Youngs. Forms will be handed out on November 30, Green Committee Room) you're on an OB crew). Come and join us here the night, which have to be signed by the where a speaker from Exit will be talking about in the vaults of opportunity, maybe you can barstaff of the pubs. Saturday is the Euthanasia. figure out what we're showing next Tuesday— Hammersmith pub crawl! Meet Union Bar If you're curious about what we do in it's certainly a challenge. 6:30pm. This will be done with straws for Socialist Society, then you'll be welcome to In short, our Hon Sec says he's never had it those with cast iron stomachs (ie not me!). turn up- a bit earlier (5:30pm or thereabouts) (so good). After the success of the last pub crawl which when there will be a General Meeting. Or 20 people attended, we expect at least forty come along to the Bookstall in the JCR any people on Saturday. On Friday December 3 Friday lunchtime. In any case, good luck and there is a Guilds Motor Club Rally. See the death to capitalism! Motor Club noticeboard outside the Guilds *FO Soc Office for details. After the rather disappointing response to the Have a good week. last question the President (grovel) has Jules Graffitti decided that something slightly less taxing should be asked of you lot, so that, being The brave graffitti committee prepared for an students, you'll get the answer and, perhaps onslaught on students. An ad was placed in win the prize (there really is one, too). Now, FELIX, despite numerous problems a lugs pinned? newsletter was produced (and left in the chairman's flat). The newsletter was "What is the connection between Malcolm distributed with perfect timing (ie at the last McDowell, Imperial College and Science minute) and all was ready for the demon- Fiction?" Tomorrow there is the annual rugby match stration on November 10. Very simple, indeed (even Sue's pet Herpes against the RSMA (old boys). It is always an simplex virus could do that one). So, answers What happened? Half the committee went exciting match played in an air of fun, so if you to Neil Martin, Life Sci letter-racks by next off to the National Graphics Exhibition while feel like watching an entertaining match and Thursday lunchtime, please, and, who knows, the poor Chairman was dragged off to show giving a bit of support, come along as there are you too might be the proud owner of the interviewees around College. In atonement for a few places on the coach left. The coach will fabulous SF Soc Prize. I mean, look what it did his sins he was made to cycle to Fulham with leave Prince Consort Road at about 1:00pm. for the President (grovel). two screens and get lost searching for Serical Don't forget that there is a UGM on rescreening department. Alfred the Artichoke Tuesday November 30 (next Tuesday!) at All is not lost. The mega demonstration of 12:45 in G20. We will have slides of the Ice printing and airbrushing is to happen next Skating and also hopefully the Freshers Wednesday and I will be there this time! If you Barnite. are interested please come up to the workshop Again, a date to remember! The Mines Ball at 1:00pm. on Friday December 17. Definitely the event of the year and open to everyone in College. Come along to the RSM Union Office and get Bar Games night last Friday was a great your name down (and bring a cheque!). We success with about forty people in attendance. will accept postdated cheques till next term. Film Soc Everybody seemed to enjoy buying Mayfair Please don't leave it till just before the day to Hi, there film fans! OK so the last two (not the magazine, silly!) or winning rubbers book your ticket (as it kind of messes us programmes were the pits but this time it'll be etc though the Kentucky did not go down so around!) come in now and do it. different: for one thing the films are not from well. Anyway hope all is going well and work isn't London Film Coop. This week it's the Marx Silly Sports outside Harrods on Saturday too tiresome. Brothers (no, not Karl and Hemi, the genuine was also a great success. Congratulations Nige article) in The Big Store and The Marx go to Mike Stuart of Mech Eng 2 who~ Brothers Co West (50p to non-members; free collected £188—the highest amount ever to members) both in one big, big programme collected in one day by one person. Despite at 8:30pm, Friday ME220. hopscotching being given the thumbs down by Incidentally, the reason I was not present at a policeman, much fun was had with Socialist the showing of Rat Life and Diet/Sad Movies sack/wheelbarrow/n-legged races, human If a close relative of yours was suffering from was not because I had already seen them and pyramids, egg catching, etc. great pain and in the last stages of a terminal was afraid I'd get lynched when they were shown. However, as it transpired, I was indeed Now to forthcoming events: Today sees the illness, would you be justified in agreeing to kill wise ot keep away from the righteous wrath of 2nd 135 club trip of the year—meet union bar your relative if he or she asked you to? This is the paying (?) public. at 6:30pm. The 135 club involves merry jaunts a very difficult question that few of us would be to Youngs tied houses to sample their willing to answer without a lot of thought. If See you there. excellent beer. It is a great night out and if you you've ever wondered how you would react Jon Pagel4l November 26, 1982 FELIX reassured by Gordon that the weather was certain to get worse (prophesy correct). PORT Eventually when all were present, the morning's shooting s commenced at 300 yards. The late feature was Jonathon, his alarm clock having baffled his Q Sailing enormous brain. Steve's costume was commented on by everybody at Bisley, the NSRA being For probably the first time in besieged by blinded marks- living memory, the entire IC persons (!) requiring sunglasses. team arrived early at Water- High scores were recorded by loo—undoubtedly a team in Andrew Hamilton (47), Neill winning form (?). On arrival at Wood (45), T Higgs (45), Mark Farnham station, however, the Bourke (43), Pauline Pike (43). promised lift didn't material- A wet lunch was followed by a The new coxed four 'Stuart Rockell', named on Morphy Day ise—Surrey University's idea of very wet afternoon and con- J Griffiths, W Downing, S A team transport turned out to be ditions of near invisibility over navigating we wouldn't have got Tenwatts. Graham's bike! the 600 yard range. Pauline, there at all! Senior C 8: / Lamplough, R Having finally got onto th Caroline and Julia modelled a The match was played with a Gee, A Wright, S Maddin, S water, IC made a traditional sensational new line in contour- distinct lack of substitutes and in Boyde, R Stanley, D Moreton, N start to the first race—Howarth hugging wet jeans. However the front of a corwd of about forty Walkins, M Urch. got entangled with the starter's instense cold rain reduced T 'hostile' people. Brian's (casual) Senior C 4: / Lamplough, R launch whilst Kennedy executed Higgs usual ardour. High '3 point plays', Ken's (even more Stanley, D Morton, N Watkins, a copybook, but slightly pre- scorers in the afternoon were casual) hook shots and an M Urch. mature, victory roll. Not to be Simon Allport and Andrew (yet inspired team performance gave Novice 8: A Buchinger, R outdone, Howarth stopped at again). us a well deserved half-time lead. Lucas, W Trewlella, M Kings- Six minutes into the second the windward mark to wait for Last Wednesday saw a heroic wood, P McNamara, I Chapman, half the strain started to show in the other boats, and used the triumph by IC over St Marys S Markhurge, J Taylor. our team. Lack of concentration, opportunity to tie his old wreck Dental Hospital and London brought on by tired legs, gave St together again. This gave Surrey Medical Hospital. St Marys were Marys the chance to develop a the race with Ist, 2nd and 3rd completely outclassed while IC ten point lead. positions. and London had a very close The second race was a rather match. Results: IC 577, LHMC Cross Country A morale raising team talk better display of sailing and, 572, St Marys 523, T Higgs 89. managed to stop the rot from despite Bevan's muttering Fine performances were given by setting in, but, try as we might, something about his rudder Noel, Seamus and Neill. The IC runners arrived at Bath we couldn't reduce the lead. The dropping off, IC won con- Quote of the week by Neill University in plenty of time to refereeing didn't help our cause vincingly. Surrey were evidently Wood: "Jane makes me shave allow enough recovery after the but in the end a very satisfying alarmed at this threat to their twice a day otherwise it hurts her hike up the hill from the station. result. macho image, and refused to sail legs." Once again we made up the Team: Brian, Tim, Kastio, the third and final race—IC thus majority of the London Univer- Tammann, Andy and Ken. won the match 2-1 by default. sity team—the remainder arrived Thanks to Pat (that's not very Boat just before the start after a visit good, is it) Mills for demon- to one of the local hostelries. Cycling strating his Hooter! It wasn't surprising then that IC Boat Club reaffirmed their Team: Bennett, Bevan, Dalton, four of the six scoring runners And so five were chosen by fate status as the top rowing club in Howarth, Kennedy, Tostevin. came from IC. Andy Griffiths to commence gladatorial battle UL at the Allom Cup Regatta was first man in in thirty-seventh with the demi-god distance, Three members of the sailing for London colleges last Satur- place with Tasso Asteriades aided in his evil ways by the Club: James Baxter, David day. They won eight out of the Chadwick and Graeme Castle running very well to finish elemental wind. eleven events as well as being hot made up half of the UL team thirty-ninth, having just resumed On trusty steeds of iron and favourites for the yet to be which sailed at Liverpool and training after a neck injury. Reynolds 531 they set out from rowed Senior C eights final. Manchester last weekend. Jus- The following also completed their home, steadily beating Highlight of the day was the tifying their position as the the five mile course without distance into the ground. Dis- open eights final where IC British Universities champions falling in the quarry and helped tance in his turn threw hills and showed their class beating St the team beat Liverpool and London University retain its detours at them, and wind Thomas' Hospital by two and a Manchester Universities easily, fifth position overall in the fought ceaselessly. half lengths. Other top class the other visiting team from league: Rob Morrison, Nick The five passed a castle performances were turned in by Nottingham gave UL closer Fenwick, Graham Harker, (closed for winter) and a Roman the open coxed four who won by racing but were also defeated. Hugh Dixon, Steven Taylor and villa (closed for lunch) finding seven lengths, the women's Jon Frost (Capt). no aid. Eventually time out was coxed four, the men's senior C called at a hostelry in the barren coxed four and Bill Bradbury outland near Shoreham. who won both Senior C and Rifle & Pistol The second round proved open sculls against tough Basketball easier, with distance on the run. opposition. Other winners were IC vs St Marys 52-66 Wind, sensing the turn in events, the novice 8 who won their event The Club outing to Bisley on Having been beaten the previous opted to aid the gallant five as with ease and Simon Boyde- Sunday was a tremendous night by Baro Road, we were they returned, triumphant to the Novice Sculls. success. Panic set in at an early faced with another tough fixture crystal city. Crew: Open 8: M Greaves, W stage when Steve Harrison (Club against St Marys, last year's The rules state: "Winners stay Downing, J Griffiths, D Allen, J Captain, contact via Elec Eng league winners. Only six players on", so this week battle will be O'Brien, E Mendez, T Anderson, letter-racks) succeeded in losing made the trip to Twickenham resumed as other wheeled P Edwards, Mastoid. at least half the squad. Mean- (all in Andy's Ford Escort), and stallions depart. The faces may Open 4: J O'Brian, G Harding, while the remainder were being if it wasn't for Ken's incredible change but the fight goes on. FELIX HHHHHHHkH I November 26, 1982 nHHMHHHHHHPagelS SPORT! a hard core magazine 'The thought they had a chance. Not season. From here the Vths can so. Stephenson did a passable only improve. Ladies Hockey Report'. Football impression of the Deano Weeble The following people have so Having incured difficulty in over the goalkeeper leaving ice- far managed to put the ball in finding the local force DCI Wall cool (?) Reeve to score from the the opposition's net: twice. and her men set about digging Firsts spot. The game was as good as Malcolm Dick, Steve Ward, up a local turnip field where Destall, Adam Rose, Dave copies of the Rag were known to IC vs UC 0-0 over. IC began to ravage the opposition with a succession of 'Kevin Keegan'Stepheson, be buried. IC's bold, attacking style of play fluent moves (managed to pass Jimmy Cheng. Once: Nick Although WPCs Mason's and really showed in this high- to each other, not them!), the Lawton, John Rigby, Rob Bird, Whitehead's agricultural skills missing 0-0 draw with UC. best of which saw Slinky drive a Phil Hunt, Tom Dale, Grant were staggering; their fine efforts Solid at the back, dominating volley home from fifty (probably Cameron. No goals (but have were rather hampered by DCI midfield and looking good going a lot less!) yards. played more than once): Paul Eldridge's habit of filling in the forward IC were soon in control; In the dying seconds Pinno- Simpson, Russ Gilbert, Pat holes by falling in the mud. Graham and John Rigby (im- chio made the by-line on the Nagle, Dave Bradley, Martin After about half an hour the pressive on this rare appearance right and produced, at last, the Kellerman, John Stewart, Chris squad suddenly realised that in the higher reaches of the perfect far post cross. There was Toner, Pete Miller. DCI Ayers of the First Division game) went close as IC again McGuckin, unmarked, one yard Goalkeepers will be welcomed had turned up complaining failed to turn pressure into goals. out. Would he head it, kick it, with open arms by Adam Rose. about his mislaid balls and from After the oranges IC surged even touch it? Rising like the this point the proceedings forward looking for the goal proverbial salmon he placed the completely degenerated. which would have sealed the ball very neatly, for a goal kick! Sixths For some reason he started game. Even Steve Dunhill had a Team: Harlow, Curran, Reeve, arresting the friendly local shot—missing by a margin Dunhill, Griffiths, Lay, Page, IC vs UCH II 5-4 bobbies with displays of inepti- nearing the size of Deano's McGuckin, Dean, Stephenson, tude rarely seen except at After Saturdays 6-0 thrashing at stomach! Rickard. Swansea City home ties. During a rare moment of the hands of LH3 and a pre- Thus with confusion reigning danger Kev (while aiming at the match drinking ban imposed by supreme, the magazines still not pavilion two fields away) man- Fourths captain, goalkeeper and general located and the rain drenching aged to give the ball straight to a hero Nick Dawson, our hopes of our heroes (and heroines) we are IC vs RFH I 2-0 UC forward but Steve (with a better start quickly evaporated forced to ask the question: will as UCH took control, and the DCI Wall ever catch the scoun- goalkeeper Alan clinging des- The Fourths travelled away and lead with two goals in the first drel responsible for this corrup- perately to his leg) was there to they certainly cut some dashing twenty minutes. The first of tive magazine? If you're really clear the ball off the line. figures on the tube; none more these a particularly magnificent interested read on next week for The game ended with IC again so than John Herd in a stylish own goal by Dave Keen, glancing the next exciting episode of Wall attacking, a string of corners combat jacket. Onto the match, the ball past his confused of the Yard. proving the Andy Page theory— and this was certainly a game of captain. Team: Caroline, Ruth, Sarah if you put enough men in the two halves, Brian. In the first However showing great char- (very nearly I), Sue, Andy, Barry, box, you've got about as much half, which was played first, acter the sixths rallied to level Chas (1?), Geoff (3), Sean (1), chance of scoring as Grimsby. Russ Thomas bagged two goals the score at half time with a Chris (-0). in his debut for the Fourths. In brilliant goal direct from a IC vs Westminster Hosp 5-1 the second, nobody scored, corner by O'Conner, and a long certainly not Russ, wise to the The thrills of the Cup came early range effort from Peter Rodgers fact that another goal could cost to London last week. As Enfield which found the far corner from him a jug. So we won 2-0, Squash and Dagenham (yes, it should completing the double over all of forty yards. have been Tooting) prepared to RFH1 this season. At the team After a lucky break UCH took take on the league giants (?) in meal afterwards, pie and beans, the lead again from a penalty but A very healthy crop of results the FA Cup, IC 1st XI were there was much talk of ambition, again IC's persistence paid off last week; true form at last? beginning their defence of THE John Rigby is still hoping to eat when a fine freekick from IC lsts 3 QMC Ists 2 Cup. Carnivalitis was diagnosed a whole curry on his own and O'Conner found the back of the IC 2nds 5 ICRFlsts 0 IC 3rds 4 UCH 2nds 1 as the major reason for the maybe even score as well. net. drawn first match but, for Another quick break by the IC 4ths 2 LSE 3rds 3 Team: Slater, Maddy, Kelland, IC 5ths 4 UCH 3rds 1 thereplay, all were recovered. home team found us behind Barden (Capt), Higham, Herd, The opposition's late arrival again but two late goals, the first Wilde, Martin, Thomas, Rigby, NB: Last week's Ladies result meant it could have gone to a well-finished run through by Hor spool. Sub: Vacant. was slightly incorrect! penalties, if drawn again. We John Kevendi and the second on The 5th team got off to a couldn't agree on an order for an opportunist effort by Martin flying start, while the 3rds and the five, so we thought we'd Kellerman sealed UCH's fate. 4ths picked up much needed better win before the need arose. (PS Get well soon Gavin) Fifths points. Needless to say the lsts IC started in paralysing (?) and 2nds continue to dominate form, but the usual catalogue of all opposition. Keep it up lads, misses built up. Finally...success. IC Vth XI have recently risen to ^ Hockey ACC might buy us a trophy Stephenson sliding in Rickard's the depths of mediocrity after cabinet if we win the First free kick, and then latching on to two marginal wins over Guys II Division. McGuckin's quick free kick to XI. The fact that Guys are still Mixed The night out on Thursday make it two. Slinky felt out of it seeking their first win this season was a storming success for those so he looped in a long one, should not detract from a After last week's rather un- who attended, all credit to John. showing Griff how to do it. marvellous IC performance, during which they managed to successful escapade; DCI Wall The evening was rounded off in 3-0? We've done enough. Let string two passes together for the decided to try her hand at superb style when the Lone them play a bit. Mistake. first time this season. The something new. Since there were Ranger's critics, on a statue in Westminster pushed menacingly stunning brilliance of IC should no other pressing engagements Kensington Palace Gardens, forward, eventually forcing not, however, be overshadowed Wall's incidental crime squad were interrupted by a uniformed Pinochio Curran to viciously by any unrepresentative results were to assist DI Bell and gentleman armed with torch and hack down their man. Penalty! they may have encountered Franklin of the porn squad in sense of humour. Next trip: 3-1 at half-time. during the early part of the locating the last few copies of Fulham Adventure Playground. Second half and they really Pagel6HKHHHHMHMI nBHHHNovember 26, 1982 mmmmmmmmmmfEux ISPORTI Leach (non-swimming alcoholic). youngster, John MacGlynn. The Guys in the plate competition * Bar reps. first two games were over in 1st round. The IC pack was Swimming about ten minutes, UC managing superior to Guys and gained to get seven points in four sets. most of the possession, unfor- ^Badminton After that, they folded without tunately a lot of it was scrappy, In defending the men's points as much as a fight, oh, come to however the backs used the trophy IC completely humiliated Firsts think of it, there was almost a possession intelligently (apart the rest of ULU's swimmers by fight. In the last game when we from some panicky moments). winning all but one of the men's IC vs LSE 9-0 were 8-0 up, we were doing our Guys were first to score with a events. And in those events we best to give them a game, when dropped goal, IC quickly replied Despite a last minute change in won, we also took a second or to start cheating. with a try from a five yard scrum venue, all the players manage to they decided third place. In the individual Our noble and very honest following pressure from the IC arrive on time. The opposition points competition James Pear- captkin (?) (me) wasn't too forwards. Guys were allowed an team came with only five players. son was first; 2nd Marcus pleased about this and started easy try then from lack of One of their players arrived late Plumby; 3rd Ian Ruddle. calling one of their players, on concentration and with little and then perfofmed a disappear- the blatant foul serves he'd been time left IC clinched the game Summary of Results ing act which even baffled his doing all afternoon, which with a try by Steve Phlips teammates. Still, the final result 400 F/C: I France 2nd in turn didn't please him... following a strong run by Steve 33m F/C: I Ruddie 1st was decisive; they lost all their (continued in 'The Story of the Thompson. 100m B/C: J Pearson 1st; I Ruddle games. Seems like we are on our Third World War'). 2nd way to retaining the Cup this Team: Miles, Roger, Steve, 100m BR/S: B Chappell 4th season—well done lads. Team: John Scott, Andy Dick, Peter, Stuart, Warwick. 100m F/C: M Plumley 1st; P Rogers Players: / Bull, D Demico, T Macleer, Nick Campbell, Martin John, Dave, Andy, Phil, Pete, 3rd Lai, L Yap, P Smith, S Chiang. Ross, TedHelsby, John MacGlynn Charles and John. 100m F/C: M Plumley 1st; J Pearson NB Don't forget the night out 2nd 4 x 33 IM: J Pearson 1st on Monday and the EGM on Tuesday (see noticeboard). Medley Relay: IC 'A' 1st: IC 'B' 2nd IC vs Middlesex Hosp 4-7 F/C Relay: IC 'A' 1st; IC 'B' 3rd Thirds 6 Pints of Fosters: R Leach 1st A scrappy game which IC 3 x 1 Red Wine (Bottle): I Ruddle, only IC vs UC 9-0 1 competitor Rugby should have won easily. There In the combined mens/ladies With the Thirds picked solely on were good debuts from Tim and Doug who put in a lot of work. title IC also finished 1st despite their ability to poke people on Firsts the complete absence of a ladies tubes with their badminton The backs failed to move the ball team on Thursday. Complete rackets, a home match was Gutteridge Plate successfully and the game was domination will result next year. always going to be difficult, I After disappointingly losing 7-4 eventually lost due to excessive Team: P Rogers, R Rogers, M decided to drop the ineffectual to QMC in the first round of the greed on the part of the no 8 who Plumley, J Pearson, B Chappell, I Chris Mallaband and replaced Cup competition IC slightly may consider himself repri- France, I Ruddle*, J Boucher *, R him with an up and coming redeemed themselves by beating manded.

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WADWORTH'S 6X 50p per pint

Union Bar Tuesday 30 November Southside Bar Wednesday 1 December

We know you're busy, but how about telling Raffle for trip to brewery potential IC students just how full your life is. Write about any aspect of your College day for Sweatshirts Ties the Alternative Prospectus. Send completed articles to the FELIX Office by February 1 Posters

FELIX I llHHBk^L^inHHBHI Page 17 0930h Cycling Club Sunday Run. Remember to bring your rail- card. JCR 1230h 1015h ABrch Christmas Card Sale organised Visit to Bevia Marks Synagogue by Amnesty International. with Jewish Society. You don't have to be Jewish to attend. 1230h Bot/Zoo Common Room Natural History Society meet- 1130h More House ing. Catholic Mass

1230h JCR House IC North America Club meeting 1800h Rt Hon Kenneth Baker talks to the Industrial Society on Catholic Mass followed by a . Wednesday about Information Technology and Cable TV. 1255h Union Concert Hall bar supper and talk on the Islamic Society Friday prayers future of the Catholic Church. 123011 JCR 1800h 53 Princes Gardens Tuesday Christian Union meeting CND Bookstall This is now a weekly event. k _ _ _ . 301m/999kHz 1930h Building Monday 1230h Rag Office 0800it Gal^ry Level ULU Gig with the Higsons, Five Community Action Group Special IC Radio Breakfast Group and Corporation. £2.50 meeting show admission Chemistry 0800h 301m/999kHz 2030h Mech Eng 220 1730h LTC Southside IC Radio Breakfast Show Film Society meeting 50p Food, Poison and Hygiene, A 1230h Upper Lounge admission (for non-members), Sherfield Chemsoc lecture by DR K J free for members. AM Foyer Gilbert. Cycling Club meeting Civil Defence Exhibition organ- Great ised by CND. This continues all Hall Union Saturday day for the rest of the week. 1745h 1230h SCR Wind Band rehearsal. More More Players (especially oboeists, Frank Allaun MP will be speak- House bassoonists and percussion- ing on Labour's defence policy. 0900h ists) are still required for -With the Labour party confer Advent Prayer Vigil Christmas concert. ence passing a motion sup- porting unilateralism and the Union Elec Eng arrival of Cruise missiles in 1200h Stairs 408 Britain next autumn this talk will certainly cover some Run with Cross Country Club Time Travel a talk to Wellsoc controversial topics. in the Whiteknights Relay at by Dr Harry Fairbrother. Reading University. £2 entry -An appropriate talk for a fee. society that is named after H G AAAAL 301m/999kHz Wells whose books included tUUUri Gallery Levels The Time Machine. Atomic Rock on IC Radio. 1930h JCR Neil Collins interviews Jackie Lyndon, the compere at the Advanced Dancing Class Reading Festival. 1930h Lower Refectory PDT Medal Dancing Class

Sunday right: Bill Sirs talks to the Industrial Society on Tuesday left: Dustin Hoffman stars in 0915h Consort Gallery Ents Thursday film, The Prayer Meeting Graduate. Pagel8l I November 26, 19821 IFELIX 1230h Southside Upper JAAAU Read Theatre Mines Lounge lOOUli Sherfield Building 1230h 303 Board Sailing Club meeting In or Out? Britain and the EEC Scout and Guide Club talk The first in this series 'The Case and slideshow on their trip to for British Participation' will be the Pyrenees earlier this year. given by Geoffrey Denton, a 1245h Chemistry 231 reader in Economics at Reading Catholic mass University. Aero 1300h 266

JAAAL Pippard Theatre The RAF a presentation by the 1300h Chem Lf? lOOUn Sherfield Building RAF Engineering Liaison Team My Job as a Union Leader Three Revolutions in Science Thursday 1300h 1300h Green Committee Room a talk to the Industrial Part Two 'The Chemical Revol- SF Soc badge library and Society by Bill Sirs, general ution 1750-1790' a talk by committee meeting. secretary of the Iron and Professor Maurice Crosland of Steel Trades Confederation. Kent University. TV -This will be an opportunity 1300h Lounges to hear what the day-to-day 1730h Brown Committee Room running of a Union involves. Amnesty International meeting STOIC present Newsbreak. You will find it's not all about Scout and Guide Club talk on Huxley strikes. Thursday 1730h Volleyball Court 1300h 139 Women's Volleyball practice, Third World First present a 1300h Union Upper Lounge 1230h Chem Eng E400 speaker from the International Audio Society Record Club: TV Methodist Society communion Technology Development meeting. 1800h Lounges service. All Christians welcome Group. STOIC repeat the lunchtime broadcast. Chem Eng 1300h B°c 5S§ 1300h LT3 CND film David Howell, MP speaks on 1800h Committee Room transport policy. EXIT, a talk to the Socialist 4AAAL Great Hall -This is your chance to take Society by this group that IO*3Un Sherfield Building up Red Ken's points on supports euthanasia. London Transport with some- The Ascent of Man Part seven one from the other side. 1800h Southside Upper Lounge 'The Majestic Clockwork Boardsailing Club meeting JAAAL Music Room 1800h uSCR lOOUll 53 Princes Gate Beaujolais Tasting with the Huxley Concert with Ross Winters Wine Tasting Society. Admis- 1300h LT130 (recorder) and Alan Wilson (harpsichord). sion £1 for members. This House believes no war is Tuesday 1830ft ever justified A debate between 1830h Union Upper Lounge IC Debating Society and Kings J7AMI Pippard Theatre Audio Society meeting to College Debating Society. l/UUn Sherfield Building decide the future of the club 'Carbohydrates transfer tor system. Graffitti microrganisms—- a key step to Workshop metabolism and its regulation. 1830h JCR 1300h The Sir Ernest Chain Memorial Printing and Airbrush Demon- Lecture which will be given to Silver Medal Dancing Class stration by Graffitti. the Biochemical Society by Professor Sir Hans Kornberg 1930h JCR Huxley FRS of Cambridge University. Beginners Dancing Class 1300h 341 301m/999kHz Evangelism Among Students in Southside Gallery Levels 2200h London A talk to the SCF by 1730h Lounge Back to Mono An IC Radio Graeme Skinner. Discussion Group for the programme with Mike Hackett self-education of unilateral 1315h Princes Gardens disarmers. Quran Circle

TV 1830h JCR Wednesday 1800h Lounges Dennis Howell MP speaks on Bronze Medal Dancing Class STOIC repeat the lunchtime Tuesday in Elec Eng 408 0800h 301m/999kHz Gallery broadcast. Levels 1930h JCR IC Radio Breakfast Show Beginners Dancing Class Mech Eng 1300h PhySLTl 1830h 220 Electromagnetic Surface Union The Graduate: An Ents film Models of Plasmas A Talk to 1200h Stairs MOPSOC by Dr A Boardman of Run with Cross Country Club Thursday -Anne Bancroft and Dustin Salford University. in the Osterley Park relay. Hoffman star in this film about Bring £1.25 to pay for the race a graduate who is given a crash TV entrance fee. course in the facts of life by the Lounges 1300h AAAAL 301m/999kHz notorious Mrs Robinson. All UOUUll Gallery Level goes well until he falls in love STOIC present a programme Beit Special IC Radio Breakfast with Mrs Robinson's daughter. about the Masons, IC Radio 1200h Arch and Mr Mooney. Show An added attraction of this Texas Instruments A visit to the film is the Simon and Garfunkel -Are we about to have a new Texas Instruments plant by the 1230h Southside Upper Lounge music. This film was directed Scandal break? Indsutrial Society ICYHA butties meeting. by Mike Nichols. fmxwmmmmmmmsm I November 26, 19821 I Page 19 d) Percussionists always play too loudly, in the wrong places, and in the wrong tempo, and WALHA80VT~ so every statement they make is false. Now back to the conversation. Brian steeled himself to speak first "1 is LOOKSEC better than 4" he ventured. "And six is better than 3" said Andy. "But 2 is better than 6" said by Mobile Optics Inc, ; Chris. "7 is better than 6, as well" said Brian. "And 7 is better than 5, old boy" said Dominic. I make no apology for a return visit to the "Strange, but 4 is better than 7" said Andy. "I Victoria and Albert Museum! It is my favourite agree fully" said Dominic. "3 is better than 5," said Chris, "although two is better than 3." in the South Kensington cluster of museums "...and stay out!" - an exhibit from Images from (this counts as two statements). "7 is better (musea?), possibly because it is the least prone the Theatre. to invasion by hordes of school children; but than 2," said Brian, "and 2 is better than 5." "But certainly, to some extent, because it provides listen, old boy," said Dominic, "6 is better than Review of the Invincible Brigade or Female such a refreshing contrast to science and 4." "Oh no," said Andy, "4 is better than 6," no Cavalry...The first paper programme did not technology, whether of the lab/lecture variety doubt thinking of the luscious trombone bits. appear in this country till the 1850s, so an at IC, or of the glass cabinet/push button "There's at least 2 movements better than 5 illustrated playbill had to act both as poster variety at the museums of Natural History, that are worse than one" said Dominic as and as sources of detailed information. Science and Geology. Chris departed with a viola player, thereby Props on show include Garrick's trick ending the conversation. The new entrance to the V&A, on dagger with a retractable blade and Mist- At this moment the conductor extricated Exhibition Road, is now open. It is part- inguette's pink ostrich feather fan. Cecil entrance hall, part-gallery, connecting the Beatonk's costume for Julie Andrews, in the himself from the clutches of a barmaid, primary collections of the V&A with the new Embassy Ball scene of My Fair Lady, stands wandered over, and told me that in fact their Henry Cole Building, due to be opened next beside Adam Ant's from the Prince Charming preferences were all in the same order (the spring. Twelve bronzes by Rodin are displayed Revue. The principle boy's costume worn in an conductor incidentally, is a woodwind player). here. They were given to the V&A by Rodin in 1880s pantomime conveys all the Victorians' So who then was from each section, and in October 1914, after being shown at an preoccupation with opulent curves and what order did they put the pieces? exhibition of French Art at Grosvenor House contrasts brashly with Marcel Marceau's All similarities to any persons alive, dead, or earlier that year. If Rodin links the Romantic expression of awed intensity as he watches a this year's chairman are entirely intentional. and Modern movements in sculpture, then seed grow (in a black and white still, blown up Orchestra members note that the order of these bronzes are a most appropriate link to life size). between the old part of the museum and its preference does not coincide with the author's It's very much an exhibition of bits—but new wing. nor are the people portrayed necessarily in the some of them are gems, and certainly worth an correct sections. All in-jokes copyright. Images from the Theatre Museum odd half hour one lunchtime. In 1985 the Theatre Museum will open in the Where, When £? converted Flower Market in Covent Garden. The V&A is closed on Fridays and on Sunday In the meantime (to break the idea in gently?) it IMPERIAL morning. 'Show Business: Images from the will stage a series of exhibitions in temporary Theatre Museum' is on until April 17 1983, galleries at the V&A. The first of these 'Show admission free. COLLEGE Business'- is in Rooms 70-73, on the first floor. It is a very well staged exhibition. The 'foyer' SYMPHONY is the entrance to the Big Top, hung with peppermint-striped canvas. The three other PINCCCMIC rooms are devoted to performers, production, ORCHESTRA and publicity and place: they are spotlit and CONDUCTOR: RICHARD DICKINS the LOOKSEE is accompanied by a sound- Orchestral Manoeuvres track that cheerfully juxtaposes the Beatles Imperial College Symphony Orchestra are MOZART: OVERTURE TO THE with a coloratura soprano. This aural playing a concert next Friday in the Great Hall MAGIC FLUTE patchwork reflects the visual patchwork of the at 8:00pm. Among the pieces they are playing WEBER: CLARINET exhibition as a whole: the Theatre Museum is is 'The Planets' by Hoist, which consists of CONCERTO NO 1 concerned with all the live performing arts: seven movements, which for convenience I SOLOIST. DAVID FUEST shall number (and refer to as) one to seven. I caught up with Andy, Brian, Chris and HOLSLTHE PLANETS Dominic (one of whom is a string player, one of GREAT HALL 8pm whom is a woodwind player, one of whom is a FRIDAY 3rd DECEMBER brass player and one of whom is a percus- sionist (nobody plays more than one TICKETS, Adult £1 instrument)) in the Queen's Legs the other Student 75p day. Eager to find out more about this FROM i The Haldane Library, wonderful suite by Hoist, I asked them for their Members & the Door preferences. Before you hear what they had to say, a word of warning—musicians are not all Solutions, comments and criticisms to me at strictly honest, and the accuracy of their the FELIX Office, please. There is a prize of statements is. governed by the accuracy of the £5 (donated by Mend-a-Bike) and two free instruments they play. Hence: tickets to the orchestra concert for a correct a) String players don't always hit the right entry randomly selected at 1:00pm on M/ednes- note, and hence they tell alternately truth, then ddy. a lie, then the truth, etc (although not always necessarily the truth first). Last Week's Solution 'The Warrior Chief a bronze by Frodman-Cluzel b) Woodwind players cannot easily alter the Last week's puzzle was unfortunately rather accuracy of the note, and so always tell the easy, although I didn't think so when I set it. The correct answer was that the rumours theatre, opera, ballet, circus, music hall, truth. occurred when the President was aged 72, 81, vareity and rock — and that it has an c) Brass players will start off honest, but as 84 and 96. 52 people idecided that it was easy enormously diverse collection. the results of excessive alcoholic indulgence (only one person sent in an incorrect entry), An 1828 playbill advertisers entertainments set in, they start lying; thus every statement and the lucky winner was Brian Clarkson of at 'Astley's Royal Ampitheatre'...The Grand, they make which contains the words five, six Chem Eng 3, who can collect his £5 cheque Splendid, New and UNEQUALLED Scenes in or seven is false, any other statement being from the FELIX Office after 1:30pm on Mon- the Circle—will commence with the first true (eg "1 is better than 3" would be true, "3 is day. Production of an effective and entertaining better than 5" would be false).

FEUX is published by the Editor for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publications Board, and is printed by the Union Print Unit, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB. Tel. 01-589 5111 Ext 1048 or Internal 2881. Editor: Martin S Taylor; Business Manager: Peter A Rodgers; Advertising Manager: Nick Thexton. Copyright FELIX 1982.