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NOVEMBER 2015 FUNNY PEOPLE’S JOKESFAVORITE An RD ORIGINAL... 72 Chewing: The Weirdest Phobia of All From NEW REPUBLIC ... 104 13 Secrets Airlines Won’t Tell You An RD ORIGINAL ... 135 Why Are You Not Dead Yet? From SLATE ... 80 Protect Your Brain from Alzheimer’s By KENNETH S. KOSIK, MD ... 43 Be the Lobster By ELIZABETH GILBERT ... 18 What Would You Spend to Keep Your Cat Alive? From NEW YORK ... 110 Fix Your Thanksgiving Food Flops An RD ORIGINAL ... 48 QUOTABLE QUOTES ....................................... 152 YOU BE THE JUDGE .......................................... 23 WORD POWER ............................................... 149 Removable bookmark brought to you by Saving People Money Since 1936 ... that’s before there were TV Dinners. GEICO has been serving up great car insurance and fantastic customer service for more than 75 years. Get a quote and see how much you could save today. JHLFRFRP_$872_/RFDORIĆ F H Some discounts, coverages, payment plans and features are not available in all states or all GEICO companies. GEICO is a registered service mark of Government Employees Insurance Company, Washington, D.C. 20076; a Berkshire Hathaway Inc. subsidiary. © 2015 GEICO Contents NOVEMBER 2015 Cover Story Psychology 72 FUNNY PEOPLE’S 104 CHEWPHOBIA FAVORITE JOKES Here’s what happens Forty-four gags that make when small, everyday laugh makers laugh every time. noises ruin your life. EDITED BY MATTY SIMMONS CHARLES BETHEA FROM NEW REPUBLIC Public Health 80 WHY ARE YOU Culture NOT DEAD YET? 110 ANYTHING FOR KITTY American life expectancy has I spent thousands to keep doubled in the past 150 years. my ailing pet alive. I don’t The reasons will surprise you. think I’d do it again. LAURA HELMUTH FROM SLATE MELISSA DAHL FROM NEW YORK The Stranger Who Inspiration Changed My Life 116 IF YOU FIND 92 WHAT WILL HAPPEN THIS LETTER ... TO PATTY’S BOY? Hannah Brencher left a note As her oncology nurse, for a stranger. What followed I gave his mother all I could. was an abundance of love. Now it was his turn. FROM THE BOOK IF YOU FIND KAREN MOTT, AS TOLD TO THIS LETTER MELODY WARNICK National Interest Personal Essay 98 HOUSE ON FIRE 122 FINDING AND STOPPING THE NEXT My family and I survived the blaze, MASS SHOOTER but we thought we’d A wannabe murderer who lost everything else. was arrested just in time We were wrong. gives a fascinating look HOLLYE DEXTER into the mind of a killer. FROM THE BOOK TOM JUNOD FROM ESQUIRE FIRE SEASON P. | PHOTOGRAPH BY ADAM VOORHES ADAM BY PHOTOGRAPH 80 rd.com | 11•2015 | 1 Volume 186 | Issue 1115 NOVEMBER 2015 6 Editor’s Note 8 Letters Everyday Heroes 10 Bold Brothers ALYSSA JUNG 13 Saved by the Switchboard BETH DREHER VOICES & VIEWS Department of Wit 15 The Incredible Shrinking Couple Ali Wentworth imagines a day of couples therapy with husband George Stephanopoulos. P. | 138 FROM THE BOOK HAPPILY ALI AFTER Words of Lasting Interest 18 A Lobster Walks into a Party ... READER FAVORITES Why we shouldn’t be afraid to be absurd. ELIZABETH GILBERT 26 100-Word True Stories FROM THE BOOK BIG MAGIC 28 Points to Ponder You Be the Judge 36 Life in These United States 23 The Case of the 56 All in a Day’s Work Missing Comma 64 News from the Can a town uphold a parking World of Medicine ticket despite imperfect 86 The Moth punctuation? VICKI GLEMBOCKI 97 Laugh Lines 108 Photo of Lasting Interest Finish This Sentence 114 Laughter, the Best 30 My Family’s Oldest Medicine Holiday Ritual Is … 121 That’s Outrageous! Photo Essay 149 Word Power 32 Portraits of Patriots 151 Humor in Uniform The motorcycle group that 152 Quotable Quotes honors soldiers. CLAIRE BENOIST BY PHOTOGRAPH 2 | 11•2015 | rd.com ART OF LIVING 43 Protect Your Brain from Alzheimer’s KENNETH S. KOSIK, MD, WITH ALISA BOWMAN FROM THE BOOK OUTSMARTING ALZHEIMER’S Food 48 Cook Your Way Out of It KELSEY KLOSS Technology 50 Seriously, Listen to Your P. | 28 Voice Mail LESLIE HORN FROM WNYC WHO KNEW? Health 58 When to Say No to an 135 13 Things Airlines Won’t Antibiotics Prescription Tell You MICHELLE CROUCH FROM CONSUMER REPORTS ON HEALTH 138 6 Foods You’d Never 60 Stop & Drop the Weight: Guess Were American Best Soups! LIZ VACCARIELLO BRANDON SPECKTOR 62 What Your Hands Reveal 140 Unlikely Legacies of U.S. About Your Health Presidents THE PHYSICIANS OF THE DOCTORS BRANDON SPECKTOR 144 You Can Count on … 40 BRANDON SPECKTOR 146 Why Popcorn Pops BRANDON SPECKTOR P. | 58 ILLUSTRATIONS BY QUICKHONEY ADDITIONAL MEDIA IN OUR TABLET FROM TOP: ILLUSTRATION BY TRACY TURNBULL. PHOTOGRAPH BY ADAM VOORHES ADAM BY TURNBULL. PHOTOGRAPH TRACY BY ILLUSTRATION FROM TOP: VERSIONS rd.com | 11•2015 | 3 Plan for your future. Consider Medicare supplement insurance. Did you know that Medicare only covers about 80% of Part B medical costs? That means the rest is up to you. But a standardized Medicare supplement insurance plan could help you save in out-of-pocket medical costs. Call UnitedHealthcare Insurance Company to learn more. As the insurer of the AARP® Medicare Supplement Plans, UnitedHealthcare Insurance Company offers a range of these plans to fit your needs and budget. And, these plans are the only Medicare supplement plans endorsed by AARP.* * AARP endorses the AARP Medicare Supplement Insurance Plans, insured by UnitedHealthcare Insurance Company. UnitedHealthcare Insurance Company pays royalty fees to AARP or the use of its intellectual property. These fees are used for the general purposes of AARP. AARP and its affiliates are not insurers. Insured by UnitedHealthcare Insurance Company, Horsham, PA (UnitedHealthcare Insurance Company of New York, Islandia, NY for New York residents). Policy form No. GRP 79171 GPS-1 (G-36000-4). 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AARPMedicareSupplement.com E d itor’s Note Look Who Showed Up A MAN SITS ON THE SIDEWALK a few blocks from my office. He holds no sign; he asks for no money or food. He just offers a steady stream of greetings to passersby. One evening, the man breaks his good-natured facade. “Don’t ignore me like I don’t exist,” he shouts at the humanity hurrying past him. “You can say hello!” The next day, a woman in a blue Ann Taylor dress sits beside him, a cup of coffee in her hand, another in his. They are talking. Simple as that. I think, This woman—maybe a woman who works nearby—heard this man. I also think about a single mom mentioned in this month’s “If You Find This Letter …” (page 116). Depressed and down on her luck, the young mom could have used some cheering up, and Hannah Brencher posted the woman’s story on her website, MoreLoveLetters.com. When boxes and boxes of letters written by strangers arrived, Hannah tells us, she realized this: ELYSHA STYLIST: WARDROBE VACCARIELLO; STEVE BY PHOTOGRAPH PRO-STYLE-CREW FOR LENKIN; HAIR AND MAKEUP: AMY KLEWITZ “If you give people something to do—a mission—they will show up.” The world is filled with people like that. So are the pages of Reader’s Digest. When a man recently released from the hospital dialed 911 because he couldn’t leave his apartment to shop for food, operator Marilyn Hinson showed up (page 13). When a young boy was faced with losing his mother to cancer, oncology nurse Karen Mott showed up (page 92). When the family of a fallen military hero needed help with the funeral, the Patriot Guard Riders showed up (page 32). And when a man sitting on a sidewalk wanted to be treated with human decency, the woman in the Ann Taylor dress pulled up a piece of cardboard and had a seat. She showed up. I invite you to e-mail me at [email protected] and follow me at facebook.com/lizvaccariello and lizvaccariello on Instagram. 6 | 11•2015 | rd.com The readers have spoken. Toyota is honored to be voted Reader’s Digest Most Trusted Import Automotive Brand. toyota.com/camry Reader’s Digest Trusted Brand is a service mark of The Reader’s Digest Association, Inc. Prototype shown with options. Production model will vary. ©2015 Toyota Motor Sales, U.S.A., Inc. Letters COMMENTS ON THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE Silent Signs Your Body Is in Big Trouble I was going to skip this article because it appeared to be for young women, but I thought the information might be useful for my granddaughters. Imagine my surprise when it was also about problems facing men and women of an older generation—or two! Five photos of healthy young women don’t represent at least half of your readers. ESTHER ESSON, The Dalles, Oregon Sitting with a Soldier He looked over at me and said, As I read this essay, the tears started “I sure hope I’m comfortable!” to flow.