50 SECRETS Food Manufacturers Won’T Tell You an RD ORIGINAL

JUNE 2015

50 SECRETS Food Manufacturers Won’t Tell You An RD ORIGINAL ... 58

Boost Your Natural Genius FROM MASHABLE.COM ... 38 The World Is Not Falling Apart FROM SLATE.COM ... 106 David Sedaris Is Bit by the Fitbit FROM THE NEW YORKER ... 100 Cut Clutter Instantly FROM KEEP THIS, TOSS THAT ... 34 Marriage in 367 Words A LETTER BY RONALD REAGAN ... 36 The Man with Perfect Manners FROM MEDIUM.COM ... 31 Failure Is an Option BY J. K. ROWLING ... 20 The Most Stolen Social Security Number of All Time AN RD ORIGINAL ... 142 PLUS: Poetry Contest Winners FROM OUR READERS ... 128

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Cover Story Personal Essay 58 50 SECRETS FOOD 100 BIT BY THE FITBIT MANUFACTURERS David Sedaris falls funny victim WON’T TELL YOU to the latest fitness fad. Eye-opening insights into how FROM THE NEW YORKER

your food is made and what you Global Affairs can do to eat better. 106 THE WORLD IS NOT MICHELLE CROUCH FALLING APART Drama in Real Life Poverty, crime, and violence 74 PRECIOUS are down. Freedom and SURVIVAL democracy are up. Only eight people STEVEN PINKER & ANDREW have lived through MACK FROM SLATE.COM rabies without a Slice of Life vaccine. Precious 116 HANDLE Reynolds is one WITH CARE of them. These baby hummingbirds HELEN BOEMELBURG needed a mom. Instead, FROM STERN P. | 106 they got me. Psychology SY MONTGOMERY 80 IS IT JUST ME? FROM THE BOOK BIRDOLOGY Wondering if your phobias Culture and eccentricities are 120 MUNCHAUSEN BY normal? Never fear; you’re INTERNET in good company, says A dangerous character our panel of experts. befriends a woman online and LENORE SKENAZY lies about the unthinkable. Community CIENNA MADRID 88 NOT WITHOUT FROM THE STRANGER MY NEIGHBORS Contest After her husband is murdered, 128 YOUR WINNING POEMS Ao Evans is embraced by a We received over 4,800 entries community that hardly knew her. for the 2015 Reader’s Digest LINDA VACCARIELLO Poetry Contest. We are pleased

PHOTOGRAPH BY ADAM VOORHES ADAM BY PHOTOGRAPH FROM CINCINNATI MAGAZINE to present our favorites.

rd.com | 06•2015 | 1 Volume 185 | Issue 1111 JUNE 2015

4 Editor’s Note 6 Letters Everyday Heroes 8 The Boxer and the Boys MEERA JAGANNATHAN

11 “Stop the Bus!” BETH DREHER

VOICES & VIEWS

Department of Wit 13 Notes from Gary’s Mom A concerned mother prepares for her son’s first day as an intern. COURTNEY ZOFFNESS FROM THERUMPUS.NET

P. | Words of Lasting Interest 134 20 J. K. Rowling and the Flames of Failure READER FAVORITES Before finding literary fame, the Harry Potter author hit bottom. 16 Points to Ponder FROM THE BOOK VERY GOOD LIVES 18 Life in These United States You Be the Judge 22 Faces of America 23 The Case of the 25 100-Word True Stories Priceless Pooch 40 All in a Day’s Work Should “sentimental damages” 52 News from the be awarded for the wrongful World of Medicine death of a pet? VICKI GLEMBOCKI 72 Laughter, the Best Medicine 87 Laugh Lines Finish This Sentence 114 Photo of Lasting Interest 26 The Title of My Autobiog- 127 That’s Outrageous! raphy Would Be … 138 Look Twice Choice Words 143 Word Power 28 Jane Goodall 145 Humor in Uniform Musings from the original

148 Quotable Quotes Earth mother. JUDE BUFFUM BY ILLUSTRATION

2 | 06•2015 | rd.com FROM TOP: TOM SCHIERLITZ/TRUNK ARCHIVE. JOEL SARTORE/GETTY IMAGES 50 48 42 38 36 34 31 Problems That Feel ATicking Time Bomb 8Home Pages That Boost Reagan’s toHis Letter Son Keep orToss? The Man with ADDITIONAL MEDIA EDITIONS FOR DOWNLOAD OURTABLET Worse During Summer in Your Leg Your Natural Genius REAGAN: ALIFEINLETTERS MannersPerfect THE PHYSICIANS OF Might Wrong Be Your7 Reasons Scale LAUREN GELMAN SUSAN INCE Health ADAPTED FROMMASHABLE.COM AMY-MAE ELLIOTT Technology RONALD REAGAN Family KEEP THIS,TOSS THAT JAMIE NOVAK Home PAUL FORD ART OFLIVING FROM FROM BY BETH GALTON PHOTOGRAPH

MEDIUM.COM FROM THEBOOK

THE BOOK THE DOCTORS

142 134 131 The Most Stolen Behind theDesign Behind 13Things Amusement in History Number Security Social logos. Quirky messagesinsidefamous MICHELLE CROUCH WHO KNEW? BRANDON SPECKTOR Parks Won’t Tell You ANDY SIMMONS P. | P. | 48 87 Editor’s Note Bunnies on the Line

MY LIFE AS A TAX-PAYING employed person began in middle school, when, for three whole days, I worked on an assembly line. My best friend Betsy’s father was an executive at Hough Bakeries, which, at Easter time, made little bunny cakes for all its stores throughout Greater Cleveland. The plant downtown needed eight kids for temporary help, and the shift fell over spring break, during which I had no plans beyond listening to my Michael Stanley Band records. Cake? I loved cake—icing especially. I’d earn minimum wage. I’d see how a factory worked. My parents thought all of this was a grand idea and called Betsy’s dad with their permission. Our roles on the line were simple: Place cakes on conveyor belt. Attach icing ears. Apply icing eyes and nose. Remove bunny from belt; place onto trays. This was harder than it sounds. Get distracted and the cakes pile up, Lucille Ball–style. As I told my parents at dinner that first night, it was all a little more high-pressure than I’d expected. Dad smiled. The son of a grocer, he’d spent the summers of his childhood stocking shelves and delivering food to the back doors of mansions in Bernardsville, New Jersey. This was the sort of work that made you appreciate the dollars LENKIN; ELYSHA STYLIST: WARDROBE VACCARIELLO; STEVE BY PHOTOGRAPH SORRELLI NECKLACE: PRO-STYLE-CREW; FOR HAIR AND MAKEUP: AMY KLEWITZ you earned, he told me. And if your feet hurt or the minutes felt like hours, well then that was just incentive to keep those grades up and get that college education. And the icing? We kids were allowed to eat as much as we wanted. By noon the first day, I could barely look at the stuff. To borrow a favorite phrase from my father: The executives at Hough didn’t fall off the turnip truck yesterday.

I invite you to e-mail me at [email protected] and follow me at facebook.com/lizvaccariello and @LizVacc on Twitter.

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35 Things Homeowners Need to Know I think the cover on this April’s edition is the best I’ve seen of the bookmark covers you have produced. I wonder how many people noticed the copy of the April edition in the mailbox and that that copy has a copy of a copy. Clever job. GEORGE S. HARRIS, Manassas, Virginia

Give the Earth an Inch ... Children of the Fields I truly enjoyed reading this article. I grew up working in tobacco fields It seemed to uplift my spirit. for my father. I have performed all Your love for this land is what the jobs described in the article. Was is greatly needed. the work hard? No doubt about it! LUCY FOSTER, Washington, DC Was it injurious to my health? The only health risk I have suffered is that Miracles That Stunned I have to undergo regular checkups Doctors for skin cancers caused by exposure Heartwarming story. God rewarded to the sun. What the tobacco field Greg for his good deed in this life did provide me with was a burning by restoring his health. No good desire for an education and an ap- work remains unrewarded. preciation for the value of hard work. ATA UR RAHMAN, Staten Island, New York CADER B. COX III, Camilla, Georgia

6 | 06•2015 | rd.com It’s a sad state of affairs when 7 Dangerous First Aid tobacco growers knowingly put Mistakes children in harm’s way, maybe even When I teach first aid and CPR causing illnesses that will shorten classes, I always stress the point their lives or cause lifelong problems. about making sure it’s easy for They should have better ethics an EMT to find you. People don’t than this. want to make a scene. If you see PATRICIA HEDRICH, Naples, Florida someone leave the room who may be choking, follow him or her. Happiness: It’s Not All T. R-P, via Facebook It’s Cracked Up to Be The thoughts and life of Dr. Viktor All in a Day’s Work Frankl will always be an inspiration. I laughed out loud reading the sub- R. M., via Facebook mission from Ruth Rowles about the difficulty people have pronouncing Keeping the Magic Alive her last name. My last name is I realize that the article was written Rowles also. After 40 years of as satire, but I truly hope the wife marriage, I have heard our name doesn’t squirm out of hugs from stumbled over repeatedly, and most her husband. I treasure each and of the time, I tell them it’s just like every hug, kiss, and “I love you.” the rolls you eat with supper. I know that life is short, and circum- ANN GILES ROWLES, Gretna, Virginia stances can change in an instant. We joke around too—I tell him I know he’ll never leave me because SEND US YOUR STORIES he can’t match his shirts and ties What’s the kindest act you’ve witnessed or KIND by himself! K. L., via e-mail ACTS! received? Was it heartfelt? Surprising? Funny? 13 Things Ancestry Tell us, and we’ll pay you Trackers Won’t Tell You $100 if we publish your story I wouldn’t like to know what my in the magazine. Go to ancestors were up to … Ignorance rd.com/kindness for details. is bliss. D. L., via Facebook

Send letters to [email protected] or Letters, Reader’s Digest, PO Box 6100, Harlan, Iowa 51593-1600. Include your full name, address, e-mail, and daytime phone number. We may edit letters and use them in all print and electronic media. Contribute Send us your 100-word true stories, jokes, and funny quotes, and if we publish one in a print edition of Reader’s Digest, we’ll pay you $100. To submit your 100-word stories, visit rd.com/stories. To submit humor items, visit rd.com/submit, or write to us at Jokes, Box 6226, Harlan, Iowa 51593-1726. Please include your full name and address in your entry. We regret that we cannot acknowledge or return unsolicited work. Do Business Subscriptions, renewals, gifts, address changes, payments, account information, and inquiries: Visit rd.com/help, call 877-732-4438, or write to us at Reader’s Digest, PO Box 6095, Harlan, Iowa 51593-1595.

rd.com | 06•2015 | 7 EVERYDAY HEROES

A Pittsburgh cop saves two brothers from abuse The Boxer and The Boys BY MEERA JAGANNATHAN

JACK MOOK, a Gulf War veteran worked out tirelessly nearly every and Pittsburgh police detective, met day. For five years, “it was an escape brothers Josh and Jessee Lyle at Steel from home,” Josh says. City Boxing Association, a nonprofit By late summer 2012, though, the gym that pairs coaching mentors with boys had stopped going to the gym. inner-city kids, in April 2007. As he Jack went to track them down and coached the boys, Jack, 45, learned found Josh, then 13, after school some disturbing details about their about a week before Christmas. traumatic home life. Their parents He looked terrible, with bags were drug addicts, and the family under his eyes and sunken cheeks. lived in an area where drug traffick- His hair was missing in patches, ing, prostitution, and violence were and he had a rash on his neck. Josh everyday realities. told Jack that social services had The gym became a refuge for removed the boys from their neglect- Josh and Jessee. Josh, in particular, ful parents and placed them in ➸

8 | 06•2015 | rd.com PHOTOGRAPH BY ROSS MANTLE “The best thing I’ve ever done,” says Jack Mook, of adopting Josh, pictured, and Jessee EVERYDAY HEROES

foster care with an aunt and uncle. became a straight-A student, and But the new house was infested Josh aspires to attend a military with rats, roaches, and fleas, Josh academy and someday join the said, and their guardians peddled special forces. Both were 2014 drugs and hit and screamed at the champions in their respective weight boys. Suspicious of their nephews’ classes in the Pennsylvania Western association with a police officer, their District Golden Gloves, a prestigious guardians kept them away from the national boxing tournament, gym. “I wanted to sleep my life probably aided by their daily meals away,” Josh says. of meat and vegetables. Jack went home thinking, I’ve got “Josh’s record was 1-8 before … a house to myself. What am I doing? now it’s 7-2,” says Jack. “I think I just He contacted a caseworker from put some food in the boy.” the Office of Children, Youth, and With the boys thriving, Jack offi- Families about taking over custody of cially adopted them in September. the boys, but she claimed that by the On the car ride to the courthouse, agency’s standards, they were “fine.” Josh was afraid his aunt and uncle Two weeks later, the police would interrupt the proceedings and arrested the boys’ uncle for heroin prevent the adoption from going possession. Jack alerted a high- through. But when the judge declared ranking official in the Pittsburgh Jack the boys’ adoptive father, “the court system, who put him in touch biggest smile” spread across Josh’s with the boys’ family-court lawyer. face. “I knew this was permanent After conducting the required and [that] my brother and I will live background checks on Jack, the a happy life,” Josh says. court placed Josh and Jessee in Jack finds fatherhood rewarding foster care with him on February 5, and humbling. “They’re my best 2013. “That was the most relieved friends,” he says. “There’s no way I’ve ever felt,” Josh says. I’m going to let anyone harm them Under Jack’s care, Jessee, now 11, again.”

MY SON TRACKED A LOST MAN READER HERO My teenage son Michael was working on a ranch last summer when he heard that an older man was missing. Michael followed the man’s bulldozer tracks up a mountain on his horse, then made his way through thick brush on foot. The man was pinned between a bulldozer and a log, but he survived thanks to Michael’s efforts. TOM EBERT, St. Maries, Idaho

To nominate your hero, e-mail the details and your name and location to [email protected].

10 | 06•2015 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST “Stop the Bus!” BY BETH DREHER

AFTER AN EVENING playing bingo at the Potawatomi Hotel & Casino in Milwaukee, bartender Jill Bien, 48, boarded a charter bus bound for Chicago, where she lives. About 35 miles into the 90-mile trip, Jill felt the bus drift onto the right shoulder of I-94. The bus scraped a concrete barrier separating the interstate from a ditch, then veered back into traffic. “Stop the bus!” Jill yelled to the driver from her seat just behind him. But then she saw his seat was empty. “A chill came over me when I saw the The driver, James Rogers, 68, lay empty driver’s seat,” says Jill Bien. crumpled and unconscious in the bus’s stairwell. “Call 911!” Jill bus’s 34 passengers to the hospital, screamed, and with the bus careen- where doctors treated them for minor ing in and out of traffic at about injuries. (The cause of the driver’s 60 mph, she leaped into the driver’s collapse hasn’t been released.) When seat and grabbed the wheel. Jill returned home after the accident, “My life flashed before my eyes,” she “bawled her eyes out,” she says. Jill says now. “Everyone on the bus “I kept visualizing it.” was bouncing around; they were Despite lingering anxiety and lying in the aisle. I thought, I don’t bruises, Jill boarded a bus back to the want anybody to get hurt.” casino two days later. “I didn’t want Jill carefully turned the bus onto my fear to build up,” she said. the shoulder, bringing it to a stop. Kenosha County sheriff’s sergeant “Thank God she got that bus over Dan Ruth, who was at the scene of to the side,” says Marge Borkowski, the accident, told reporters he hasn’t who was a passenger that night. witnessed an act more heroic than “She’s my hero.” Jill’s in his 18 years on the job. “It Emergency personnel arrived a could have been much, much worse,”

COURTESY JILL BIEN COURTESY few minutes later and took 11 of the he says.

rd.com | 06•2015 | 11 WITH A TASTE OF HOME.

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Department of Wit Notes From Gary’s Mom

BY COURTNEY ZOFFNESS FROM THERUMPUS.NET

From: Date: Sun, May 31, 2015, at 12:31 AM Subject: Gary’s internship To: Tuck Lanson, CEO

Dear Tuck, Gary is excited to start his weeklong internship at Lanson COURTNEY Corp. tomorrow! It occurs to me that there are a few small ZOFFNESS issues that may (or may not!) arise during his time there. is the interim I’m sure everything will be fine, but I’m his mom. And director moms worry. of creative writing at Drew Gary’s really concerned about doing a good job. If you University 1 could request that your employees furnish him with in Madison, compliments and positive feedback—which I have no doubt New Jersey. he’d earn, so it wouldn’t be insincere—that would be so great. ➸

ILLUSTRATION BY STEVE WACKSMAN rd.com | 06•2015 | 13 DEPARTMENT OF WIT

Gary is weak in the math he has to remove to eat. Doing so 2 department and thus has ap- makes him extremely self-conscious. prehensions about tasks related but Is there somewhere he can dine by not limited to numbers, sequences, himself (your office?) so no one will patterns, proportions, and general catch sight of his situation? quantification. I’ve given him $15 for lunch, which should cover a sandwich While Gary is of perfectly and chips (no soda, please), but he 5 average height for his age, may get worked up when a cashier he feels short. This prompts him to prompts him for money or he at- misjudge where his head and feet tempts to count his change. Perhaps are relative to the ceiling and floor. you can assign someone to negotiate If Gary requests help fetching some- these dealings with/for him? thing off a shelf within his reach, please comply. As his therapist says, Gary has inflammatory acne. we all have our own realities, and his 3 He’s taking doxycycline, is as valid as yours or mine. which seems to be helping, but it’s giving him diarrhea, which has led Oh, and for what it’s worth, to dehydration, which has led to 6 Gary is allergic to pinecones, halitosis. Please don’t take it as a pistachios, lime-flavored Life Savers, sign of disrespect if he’s popping mite excretion, mouse excretion, and mints while chatting with you. Trust double-sided sticky tape. me: It’s actually a sign of respect! (Pee-eww!) Also, I read that his And that’s all! (Phew!) Thanks again, medication can be deactivated if he’s Tuck. We can hardly wait. too close to a microwave, so if you All best, could seat him in a cubicle far from Gloria the kitchen, that would be ideal. P.S. Due to Gary’s anxiety over start- My son has a history of orth- ing this position, he may get there 4 odontic issues that I may as a little early. Would it be possible well address. Gary has exceptionally to have someone there to let him in large teeth and a small jaw, and when around 6 a.m.? he was 12, the dentist pulled four of his molars to prevent overcrowding. P.P.S. Alternatively, there’s a chance Though Gary wore headgear for years, that, due to his anxiety, he’ll be his teeth never moved to fill in the up all night and will crash around gaps. Now he wears a retainer gar- 6 a.m., in which case we’ll need to

nished with four fake teeth, which let him sleep in for a bit. Cool? (ZOFFNESS) JOE MCKENDRY BY ILLUSTRATION PREVIOUS PAGE:

Points to Ponder

OUR SENSE OF “we” has shriveled. WHEN YOUNG PEOPLE ask me what Now when people talk about “our it takes to get ahead, I tell them to kids,” they talk about their own get a job, any job, because there is biological kids; they don’t think dignity in all work. When someone about all kids. This leads to a situa- has a job, they not only have a sense tion that’s bad for the economy and of purpose, they learn the habits and bad for democracy. But it’s also just skills necessary to get a better job. not right. We have an obligation to care for other people’s kids too. CARLY FIORINA, former CEO of Hewlett-Packard, in her book Rising to the Challenge: My Leadership Journey ROBERT PUTNAM, PHD, author of the book Our Kids, in Harvard Kennedy School Magazine BE HUNGRY for healing, be hungry for connection, be hungry for level- WISDOM IS LIKE frequent-flier miles ing the playing field. That’s more and scar tissue; if it does accumulate, than just a moral imperative. It’s that happens by accident while believing that your best self will you’re trying to do something else. always be in solidarity with those who are having a hard time. BARBARA KINGSOLVER,

novelist, in a commencement TIM SHRIVER, speech at Duke University chairman of the Special Olympics, in Parade

Today you have probably encountered more news of the world outside your immediate experience than most humans did in an entire lifetime. Did you feel much? Probably not. Information without context strikes the mind but peters out before the heart.

SARAH SMARSH, writer, in Aeon

ILLUSTRATIONS BY KAGAN MCLEOD When the uncreative tell the creative what to do, it stops being art. TONY BENNETT, singer, in Esquire

DO CELL PHONES cause cancer? THERE USED TO BE a time when I don’t know. I’m a humanities if someone was living their life a dif- major. I don’t know how a toaster ferent way than you, you’d just say, works. I do know that I’m sitting “Well, that’s not my cup of tea.” You on my couch with an iPhone in my wouldn’t create policy around it. pocket and a MacBook on my lap … But I’m even more concerned by SARAH SILVERMAN, the fact that I probably wouldn’t comedian, in Rolling Stone move either device out of reach even if science confirms my darkest MY PAINTING TEACHER in high dystopian paranoia. school used to say, “I can’t paint like I want to, but through practice, I’ll get DAVE PELL, better.” But I don’t think that’s true. I author of the NextDraft newsletter, think sometimes you just can’t paint. on medium.com

ELLIE KEMPER, YOU DEPLETE your brain over [the] actress, in Details course of the day through things large and small; even choosing what DO NOT FALL for the lie that ambition to wear begins to deplete executive is counter to femininity. What creature function. If every free second, is stronger and more motivated you’re checking your device, you’re than a mother protecting her children? stealing resources from decision Use that feminine strength. It’s a making you may need later. huge asset.

MATT RICHTEL, KIRSTEN GILLIBRAND, journalist, on New York’s Science of Us blog New York senator, in her book, Off the Sidelines

“And so, graduates, as you walk down the road of life, please don’t forget to stop and smell everything.”

MY SON AND I were checking out She flipped the pages until she a house he was interested in buying. came to me. Under my photo I When the owner came to the door, had written, “Elaine, I will never she looked at me and said, “Larry? forget you.” I know you. We went to school LAWRENCE I. BRANT, Delray Beach, Florida together. I’m Elaine. Don’t you recognize me?” WANDERING INSIDE a pet store, I drew a complete blank. I stopped in front of a birdcage to She took out our old yearbook and admire a parakeet. We watched each showed me her graduation picture— other for a few minutes before it still nothing. “Let’s look at your asked, “Can’t you talk?” picture,” she said. SHIRLEY BROWN, Richardson, Texas

18 | 06•2015 | rd.com ILLUSTRATION BY TADHG FERRY I HAD FOOD POISONING and woke I PHONED a local restaurant to up early in the morning to vomit. ask if it was on the north or south My mom e-mailed all my teachers side of Main Street. The person on saying that I would be late to school the other end answered, “That because of “morning sickness.” depends on which direction you’re Thanks, Mom. Source: fmylife.com coming from.” PATRICIA THOMPSON, Shawnee, Kansas DELTA AIRLINES is infusing its cabins with a lavender-and-chamomile THERE’S NO “I” in denial. scent called Calm. The Week asked Comedian PETER SERAFINOVITCH its readers to come up with a better name to match “the ambience of the packed economy cabin.” ■ “Eau the Humanity” Serena Meyer ■ “Giorgio’s Arm-on-me” Wade Etheredge FUNNY FATHERS ■ “Chanel No. 5 Inches of Legroom” Austin King Why dads get a day of ■ “Claustrophobique” their very own ... Cynthia Pocali ■ Sometimes the scariest thing ■ “Mist Connection” Cary Berkowitz you can hear from your toddler ■ “The 99 Per-scent” Julia Flagg is the question “Can I help?” @DADINATING

FOR SERVING as flower girl for her ■ Four-year-old: Tell me a scary aunt, three-year-old Sydney received story! Me: One time little people a doll and bridal-themed gifts. Sydney popped out of your mom, and was so thrilled, she ran to her aunt and they never stopped asking announced, “I want this for all your questions. Four-year-old: Why? @XPLODINGUNICORN weddings!” HELEN THOEN, Manly, Iowa ■ Sometimes I am amazed I ADMIT THAT I LIVE in the past, that my wife and I created two but only because housing is so much human beings from scratch yet cheaper. Comedian MATT WOHLFARTH struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets. SPOTTED IN THE CLASSIFIEDS: @ASKDADBLOG (JOHN KINNEAR) “For sale: cemetery plot, $200, so I don’t have to spend all eternity Got a funny story about an awkward beside my ex!” ANTHONY CIALELLA, family gathering? It could be worth $100. New Castle, Pennsylvania See page 7 for details.

rd.com | 06•2015 | 19 WORDS OF LASTING INTEREST

PHOTOGRAPH BY RUSS AND REYN Before she became the Harry Potter author, Rowling crashed and burned. Here’s what she took away. J. K. Rowling and the Flames of Failure FROM THE BOOK VERY GOOD LIVES

IT IS FAIR TO SAY that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. By every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew. Now, I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no J. K. ROWLING idea that there was going to be what the press has since repre- is the author sented as a kind of fairy-tale resolution. I had no idea then of the seven- volume Harry how far the tunnel extended, and for a long time, any light Potter series. at the end of it was a hope rather than a reality. Very Good So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply Lives is an because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. illustrated I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than version of her 2008 Harvard what I was and began to direct all my energy into finishing University the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at commence- anything else, I might never have found the determination ment speech. to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free because my greatest fear had been realized, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will—and more discipline than I had suspected. The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever

ILLUSTRATION BY JOE MCKENDRY BY ILLUSTRATION after, secure in your ability to survive.

BY GLENN GLASSER

Meg Gardner BOULDER, COLORADO “I was playing a game with a student, and he didn’t know it was his turn. I was so excited for him that I called out his name and said, ‘It’s your turn!’ He told me later how much it hurt him because he wanted to come to it on his own. My enthusiasm is my strength, and in that moment, it was my weakness.”

22 | 06•2015 | rd.com YOU BE THE JUDGE

Should a family be awarded “sentimental damages” for the wrongful death of a pet? The Case Of the Priceless Pooch

BY VICKI GLEMBOCKI

DURING A THUNDERSTORM devastating news: Avery had been in June 2009, Kathryn and Jeremy mistakenly euthanized. Medlen’s eight-year-old Lab mix, On December 30, 2009, the Avery, escaped from their backyard Medlens filed a lawsuit against Carla in Fort Worth, Texas. The Medlens Strickland, the city employee who put searched frantically and were re- Avery down. In Texas, if a person’s lieved to discover that Avery had property is wrongfully destroyed by been picked up by animal control. another person, the owner can sue But when Jeremy went to retrieve for “market value.” If the property has the dog at the city’s shelter, he didn’t little or no market value but has senti- have the $95 needed to cover the mental value, a jury can award the fees. A “hold for owner” tag was owner the amount it decides would hung on Avery’s cage. The next be a reasonable compensation. Over day, when the Medlens and their the years, Texas courts have assigned young children arrived at the shelter “sentimental value” to anything from with the cash, they were met with a grandmother’s wedding veil to ➸

ILLUSTRATION BY NOMA BAR rd.com | 06•2015 | 23 YOU BE THE JUDGE a pistol holster—but never to pets. was recoverable only for heirlooms. “Dogs are the most sentimental “According to Strickland’s position,” piece of property we have,” says wrote appeals court justice Lee Ga- Randy Turner, the Medlens’ attorney. briel, “damages could be awarded for “Our suit asked the court to apply a sentimental photograph of a family the ‘sentimental value’ rule to dogs.” and its dog but not for the dog itself.” However, the trial court judge dis- On November 3, 2011, Gabriel ruled missed the case, following a Texas in the Medlens’ favor and reversed Supreme Court decision from 1891, the trial court’s judgment, noting the which held that the owner of a dog “companionship” dogs provide. that was wrongfully killed can sue Strickland filed a petition on only for monetary value. January 17, 2012, asking the Texas The Medlens appealed, arguing Supreme Court to review the case. that “society’s attitude toward dogs The court agreed to hear it. has completely changed since 1891.” Strickland’s attorneys countered, Do the Medlens deserve compensa- pointing to Supreme Court decisions tion for Avery’s untimely death? that held that sentimental value You be the judge.

THE VERDICT

On January 10, 2013, Strickland’s attorney, John Cayce, argued that, while most states allow a person to recover sentimental damages for the loss of a parent, spouse, or child, they do not award damages for the loss of, say, an aunt or a grandparent. “If the Texas Supreme Court affirms the opinion of the appeals court,” he explained, “a dog owner would then be able to recover more for a loss of a pet than American law allows for [the loss of] most human family members.” Turner, the Medlens’ attorney, argued that “it would make no sense to allow sentimental value damages for all types of property except the one that people attach the most sentimental value to.” In the end, the Supreme Court sided with Strickland and reversed the appeals court’s judgment. “We acknowledge the grief of those whose companions were negligently killed,” wrote Justice Don Willett. “Relational attachment is unquestionable. But it is also uncompensable.”

Agree? Disagree? Sound off at rd.com/judge.

24 | 06•2015 | rd.com Your True Stories IN 100 WORDS

WHO GOES THERE? of them or use them to n 1943, I was 19 years store something valuable. I old and worked at a You can’t throw away a barbecue located about man’s favorite boots. a mile from my home. It You’ve got to keep them was a beautiful, warm June and pass them down. night, so I decided to walk THERESA ARNOLD, home from work rather Tioga, Texas than take a bus. As I walked up the back A GUIDING HAND porch steps, I heard a n route to work, male voice: “Kiss me, E I turned right to or I’ll scream.” After leave my yard when my initial shock, I turned a firm hand restrained around to see a young soldier my right shoulder, shoving in an Army uniform. I kissed him me left. No one else was present. softly on the cheek. He smiled. I followed a longer route to a traffic “Thank you,” he said, and walked light intersection on Lincoln High- off into the night. way, where traffic was not moving, NETTIE GORNICK, Butler, Pennsylvania and headed for my work site. At the end of the workday, I returned BIG SHOES TO FILL home and learned of the accident cleaned out Dad’s closet yesterday. that morning only minutes after I There were two things I couldn’t 8:00, when two vehicles crashed, box up: his work shirts and his two pinning the crossing guard between pairs of Red Wing boots. He couldn’t them and killing him. I would have remember birthdays or anniversaries, been in that accident. My guardian but he remembered the date on angel had preserved my life! which he’d bought his first pair. I GRACE NAPIER, Greeley, Colorado remember it too—April 16, the day after Tax Day. What does a child To read more 100-word stories and to submit your own, go to rd.com/stories. do with her dad’s favorite boots? If your story is selected for publication I think I will make a planter out in the magazine, we’ll pay you $100.

ILLUSTRATION BY KAGAN MCLEOD rd.com | 06•2015 | 25 FINISH THIS SENTENCE The title of my auto

My Wi-Fi Connection Is Why Stronger Does My Cheerfulness That’s Not Than Kuo, I Am Annoy Man! JACKIE RODRIGUEZ You So? PATTI EBBEN KAREN KUO

Cinderella Denver, CO Palo Alto, CA Rode a Harley Las Vegas, NV CYNTHIA IVERS Once Upon a Cathedral City, CA Quesadilla: The Spanish-Teacher Diaries JENNIFER MARIE CLARK

Can Anything Good Come Hippie Girl to From Idaho? Groovy San Antonio, TX BRUCE MANGUM Granny JAN BOLLIER

Go to facebook.com/readersdigest 26 | 06•2015 | rd.com for the chance to finish the next sentence. biography would be…

Old Enough to Know Better But Did It Anyway NICOLE NOVACK RICCIOTTI

Appleton, WI

Canandaigua, NY

Far Rockaway, NY

Albion, PA Giant Russiaville, IN Feet: Life and the Following in the Wife Is a Footsteps of Pursuit of a Great Soldier I Called Dad Four- Pancakes TANIA HAMMER LOIS LEE BELL Letter Word CYNDI LAVOSKY

Jamestown, SC Hixson, TN

Sitting on the Hump (I was always skinny and got Frying the smallest seat in the car.) Bacon ROBIN STEARNS LEE Naked (And Other Poor Hollywood, FL Decisions) LINDA MCCREE DIAZ

rd.com | 06•2015 | 27 CHOICE WORDS

Jane Goodall Musings from the original Earth mother

f I were a bird that needs feathers to I fly higher, my mother would be my strongest feather. She was extremely supportive. When I was one and a half, I took a whole handful of earthworms to bed with me. My mother said very quietly, “Jane, they will die if they leave the earth.” And so, together, we put them back into the garden. Source: an interview with April Xiaoyi Xu

went to an empty henhouse [when I I was four and a half], hid in the straw at the back, and waited, and the family had no idea where I was … My mother sees this excited little girl rushing toward the house all covered in straw. Instead of getting mad at me, which would’ve killed the excitement, she saw my shining eyes and sat down to hear this wonderful story of how a hen lays an egg. Source: achievement.org

ne of my best days was O when I … offered [chimp David Greybeard] fruit on my outstretched hand, and he

28 | 06•2015 | rd.com Some people say … that violence and war are inevitable. I say rubbish: Our brains are fully capable of controlling instinctive behavior. We’re not very good at it, though, are we? Source: Sierra

turned his head away. I put my he first time I saw adult hand closer—and he took the fruit, T chimpanzees in these five-by- dropped it, and gently squeezed my five-foot cages … tears began to hand, which is a chimp reassurance trickle down under my mask, and gesture … We communicated [JoJo, a chimp,] just reached out perfectly in a language that predates this gentle finger and wiped them words. Source: New Scientist away … And then the veterinarian came. He knelt down beside me and love dogs, not chimps. Some put his arm around me. He said, I chimps are nice, and some are hor- “I have to face this every day.” rid. I don’t actually think of them as Source: achievement.org animals any more than I think of us as animals, although both of us are. like to envision the whole world Source: The Globe and Mail (Toronto) I as a jigsaw puzzle … If you look at the whole picture, it is overwhelm- rees are living beings. And they ing and terrifying, but if you work on Thave their own personalities … your little part of the jigsaw and There are the young, eager saplings, know that people all over the world all striving with each other … If you are working on their little bits, that’s put your cheek against one of those, what will give you hope. you almost sense the sap rising and Source: safarious.com the energy. Source: NPR ou may not believe in evolution, ometimes I [longed to be a Y and that’s all right. How we S chimp] … I just wanted to know … humans came to be the way we are what it felt like in the evening to be is far less important than how we making a nest and what it felt like to should act now to get out of the mess be a female when a big male comes we have made for ourselves.

SOURCE PHOTO: TOBY CANHAM/GETTY IMAGES CANHAM/GETTY TOBY SOURCE PHOTO: thundering in. Source: Discover Source: Reason for Hope: A Spiritual Journey

ILLUSTRATION BY TRACY TURNBULL rd.com | 06•2015 | 29

ART of LIVING

How Paul Ford became the model for modern etiquette (just read his go-to party trick that works every time) The Man With Perfect Manners

FROM MEDIUM.COM

rd.com | 06•2015 | 31 THE MAN WITH PERFECT MANNERS

MOST PEOPLE DON’T notice to hide my politeness further. Real I’m polite, which is the point. I don’t politeness, I reasoned, was invisible. look polite. I am big and droopy and It adapted itself to the situation. need a haircut. No soul would associate me with watercress sandwiches. Say This at a Party Still, every year or so, someone takes Here’s a polite person’s trick, one that me aside and says, “You actually are has never failed me. When you are at weirdly polite, aren’t you?” I always a party and are thrust into conversa- thrill. They noticed. tion with someone, see The complimenters how long you can hold don’t always formulate off before talking about it gently. Two years ago, Real politeness, what she does for a liv- at the end of an ardu- I reasoned, ing. When that painful ous corporate project, lull arrives, right after my office mate turned was invisible. she tells you, say, “Wow. to me and said, “When It adapted That sounds hard.” we started working Because nearly together, I thought you itself to the everyone in the world were a terrible suck-up.” situation. believes her job to be She frowned. “But difficult. I once met it actually helped get a beautiful woman at things done. It was a strategy.” a party whose job was to help celebri- My coworker was surprised to see ties wear Harry Winston jewelry. I the stubborn power of politeness could tell she was disappointed to be over time. Over time. That’s the introduced to this rumpled giant in thing. Mostly we talk about polite- an off-brand shirt, but when I told ness in the moment: Please; thank her that her job sounded difficult, she you; no, go ahead; I like your hat; sir, brightened and spoke for 30 straight ma’am, etc. All good but fleeting. minutes about sapphires and Jessica When I was in high school, I read Simpson. The celebrity jewelry co- etiquette manuals. Emily Post and ordinator smiled, grabbed my hand, so forth. There was good stuff about and said, “I like you!” She seemed so how to write a note of condolence relieved to have unburdened herself. and ridiculous stuff about how to behave on boats. No one noticed my Don’t Touch politeness except for one kid. He Another way to be polite is by not yelled at me about it. “Why you always touching people unless they specifi- so polite, man?” he asked. “It’s weird.” cally invite it. Since I’m a polite per-

I took that as praise and made a note son, the idea of just reaching out and HALLEY RESOURCES FOR GUIDO-LAASKO SARAH PROP STYLIST:

32 | 06•2015 | rd.com PHOTOGRAPH BY CLAIRE BENOIST READER’S DIGEST touching people’s hair, for example, from depression, ambition, substance makes my eye twitch. When would it abuse, and pretension. They suffer be appropriate? If there was a very from family tragedy, Ivy League edu- large poisonous spider in their hair. cations, self-loathing, and publishing. If I was doing a magic trick. Or after The good thing about politeness is six or more years of marriage. you can treat these people exactly the I see people as having a two- or same and wait to see what happens. three-foot invisible buffer around You don’t have to have an opinion. them. If there is a stray hair on their You don’t need to make a judgment. jacket, I ask them if I can pluck it. There is another aspect of my If they don’t want that, they’ll do it politeness that I am reluctant to themselves. Whatever happens inside mention. But I will. I am often con- that buffer is entirely up to them. sumed with a sense of overwhelming empathy. I really do want to know Give Second Chances about hanging jewelry from celebri- Politeness leaves doors open. I’ve ties. What does it feel like in your met so many people whom, if I had hand? What do celebrities feel like in trusted my first impressions, I would your hand? Which one is smoother? never have wanted to meet again. Yet This is not a world where you can many of them are now great friends. simply express love for other people, One of those people is my wife. where you can praise them. I’ve On our first date, she told me at found that people will fear your length about the surgical removal enthusiasm and warmth and wait of a dermoid cyst from her ovaries. to hear the price. Which is fair. We’ve This is a cyst with hair and teeth (not all been drawn into someone’s love a metaphor). It killed the chemistry. only to find out we couldn’t afford it. I walked her home, told her I’d had A little distance buys everyone time. a great time, and went home and Last week, my wife came back from looked up cysts on the Internet. the playground. She told me that We talked a little after that. I kept my two-year-old son, Abraham, had everything pleasant and brief. A year walked up to a woman in a hijab later, I ran into her on the train, and and asked, “What’s your name?” we got another drink. Much later, The woman told him. Then he put I learned that she’d been having out his little hand and said, “Nice to a very bad day in a very bad year. meet you!” Everyone laughed, and he People silently struggle from all smiled. He shared with her his firmest kinds of terrible things. They suffer handshake, like I taught him.

rd.com | 06•2015 | 33 HOME

The indecisive person’s guide to clearing clutter Keep or Toss?

BY JAMIE NOVAK FROM KEEP THIS, TOSS THAT

YOU’D BE surprised by what a professional organizer recommends for keeping a tidier home. Sometimes “junky” items can serve an unexpected purpose; other times, you might be better off getting rid of or donating “important” items if they don’t improve your life. KEEP TOSS Kids’ Goody-Bag Toys A Bathrobe You Rarely Wear Believe it or not, the small plastic If you always opt for loungewear toys that come in goody bags and or forget to pack a robe when you drive-through kids’ meals will travel, it’s time to ask yourself: Do come in handy for future school I really need one? Sometimes things projects, like three-dimensional that sound luxurious are just extra

dioramas. items to figure out what to do with. ARCHIVE WOJCIK/TRUNK JAMES

34 | 06•2015 | rd.com KEEP get rid of all your polishes. Also, Unknown Cords and Wires chances are you don’t need all the Label each one unknown with an manicure tools that come in a nail expiration date of one year. This gives set. Keep the ones that work well, you enough time to find the match. and toss the rest. (For example, in six months, you might find that one goes with a TOSS holiday decoration.) If you find the Old Pens match, relabel it. If not, toss it! When you find yourself constantly skipping over a pen in the drawer TOSS or the pen cup, that’s a clue you need Extra Water Bottles to toss it. Kitchen cabinet turned into a water- bottle graveyard? Here’s all you really KEEP need: two travel mugs or water bottles Single Socks per family member who uses at least Toss orphaned socks in with your one per week. Keep only one per fam- cleaning supplies. They work well ily member if they are used less often. for dusting. KEEP TOSS Plastic Containers with Books You’ll Never Missing Lids Read Again Even if they can’t hold your leftovers If you bypass a book every time you anymore, random containers can reach for the bookshelf, give it away. work well as drawer organizers. Use This will free up space: Bookcases them in your desk as well as in junk look most balanced when they are and vanity drawers. filled 75 percent with books and 20 percent with decorative items, TOSS leaving 5 percent as empty space. Extra Vases For a clever way to clear your cabinets of vases you never use, fill them with Organize your home—for good flowers from your garden and give and without them away to friends and neighbors. regrets—with helpful checklists, TOSS smart storage solutions, and Neglected Nail Polish creative uses for If you always go to the salon and old items in Keep This, Toss That (Reader’s never touch up your nails at home, Digest, $15.99); wherever books are sold.

rd.com | 06•2015 | 35 FAMILY

On the eve of Michael’s wedding, the future president sent this heartfelt advice Reagan’s Letter to His Son

BY RONALD REAGAN FROM THE BOOK REAGAN: A LIFE IN LETTERS

36 | 06•2015 | rd.com PHOTOGRAPH BY CLAIRE BENOIST June 1971

Dear Mike: You’ve heard all the jokes that have been rousted around by all the “unhappily marrieds.” But there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be whatever you decide to make it. Some men feel their masculinity can be proven only if they play out in their own lives all the locker-room stories, smugly confident that what a wife doesn’t know won’t hurt her. The truth is, somehow, way down inside, a wife does know, and with that knowing, some of the magic of the relationship disappears. There are more men griping about marriage who kicked the whole thing away themselves than there can ever be wives deserving of blame. There is an old law of physics that you can get out of a thing only as much as you put in it. The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he owns will get that out. Let me tell you how really great is the challenge of proving your masculinity and charm with one woman for the rest of your life. It takes quite a man to remain attractive and to be loved by a woman who has heard him snore, seen him unshaven, tended him while he was sick, and washed his dirty underwear. Do that and keep her still feeling a warm glow, and you will know some very beautiful music. If you truly love a girl, you shouldn’t ever want her to feel, when she sees you greet a girl you both know, that humiliation of wondering if she was someone who caused you to be late coming home. Mike, you know better than many what an unhappy home is and what it can do to others. Now you have a chance to make it come out the way it should. There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.

Love, Dad

P.S. You’ll never get in trouble if you say “I love you” at least once a day.

PROP STYLIST: SARAH GUIDO-LAASKO FOR HALLEY RESOURCES. HULTON ARCHIVE/GETTY IMAGES (INSET PHOTO) IMAGES ARCHIVE/GETTY HALLEY RESOURCES. HULTON FOR GUIDO-LAASKO SARAH PROP STYLIST: RONALD REAGAN’S WRITINGS COPYRIGHT © 2003 BY THE RONALD REAGAN PRESIDENTIAL FOUNDATION.

rd.com | 06•2015 | 37 TECHNOLOGY

8Home Pages That Boost Your Natural Genius

BY AMY-MAE ELLIOTT ADAPTED FROM MASHABLE.COM

IF YOU HAVEN’T customized comprehensive look at the day’s your home page, you’re missing date through the ages is for you. a trick. You could start every day You’ll peer into the past at notable by learning something new, getting events in wars, criminal trials, and motivated by the creative arts, or natural disasters, as well as sports, enjoying an inspiring visual. Set your music, literature, politics, and browser to load one of these sites cinema. (history.com/this-day- whenever you create a new tab to get in-history) galvanized every time you go online. POETS.ORG’S POEM-A-DAY SURPRISE ARTICLE FROM 3 Ideal for anyone who wants 1 TODAY I FOUND OUT to read more poetry but can’t find If you’re a fan of factoids, you can the time, this will load an original, discover something new—like what previously unpublished poem happened to the flags left on the on weekdays and classic poems moon or how root beer got its on weekends. (poets.org/poetsorg/ name—every day of the week. poem-day) (todayifoundout.com) MERRIAM-WEBSTER’S HISTORY.COM’S 4 WORD OF THE DAY 2 THIS DAY IN HISTORY Language lovers, take your vocabulary If you left your heart in high school to the next level and learn the history class, this fascinating, meaning of words like grubstake,

38 | 06•2015 | rd.com ILLUSTRATION BY SEAN MCCABE tintinnabulation, and zaibatsu by GOOGLE DOODLES checking in with the dictionary’s site 7 If you love Google’s commem- every morning. (merriam-webster orative Doodles—such as a brilliantly .com/word-of-the-day) animated battery for its inventor’s 270th birthday and vibrant smacks NASA’S ASTRONOMY of paint thrown on canvas in honor 5 PICTURE OF THE DAY of the Hindu festival Holi—you can Stargaze from the comfort of your visit the dedicated page to see what desk with a fresh astronomical image, Google is celebrating each day. complete with an explanation from (google.com/doodles) a pro astronomer. (apod.nasa.gov) NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC’S THE CURRENT’S 8 PHOTO OF THE DAY 6 SONG OF THE DAY Give your eyeballs a treat every The Current, from Minnesota Public time you log on with good ol’ Radio 89.3, offers a new, indepen- National Geographic’s Photo of dent, unreleased song (ranging the Day, which will show you from pop to hip-hop to bossa nova) anything from a snow monkey every weekday. Tune in and start grooming its offspring to a strobe your morning with a musical twist. rocket at a fireworks convention. (thecurrent.org/collection/song- (photography.nationalgeographic of-the-day) .com/photo-of-the-day)

“10 HOMEPAGES THAT TEACH SOMETHING NEW EVERY TIME YOU OPEN A TAB” BY AMY-MAE ELLIOTT, ADAPTED FROM MASHABLE.COM.

rd.com | 06•2015 | 39 ALL IN A Day’s Work

“This is a good spot. I’m getting a really strong signal.”

MY DAUGHTER AMY was holding man to cure on Thursday at three.” down two jobs: The first was as a NANCY BILLINGS, Oak Bluffs, Massachusetts manicurist at a salon; the other was raking leaves for a housing develop- I WAS IN A COUPLE’S home trying ment. One day, she came back from to fix their Internet connection. lunch at the raking job to find a note. The husband called out to his wife Her boss, who didn’t know about in the other room for the computer her other job, had taken down this password. “Start with a capital S, phone message: “Amy, you have a then 123,” she shouted back.

40 | 06•2015 | rd.com ILLUSTRATION BY JOHN CALDWELL We tried S123 several times, but REAL(TOR) FUNNY it didn’t work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she Real estate agents are convinced muttered, “I really don’t know what’s a photo is worth a thousand so difficult about typing Start123.” words. These photos are worth A. R., via Internet one word: Huh?

WHAT ARE THE WILDEST things national park guides contend with? Questions from tourists, like these: ■ How much does Mount McKinley weigh? ■ Would the lightning be faster if it didn’t zigzag? ■ What do you do with the snow Ensure every day is a good day when it melts? Source: msn.com by making it impossible to get out on the wrong side of the bed. I’M A DOG TRAINER. Before I met with a new client, I had her fill out a questionnaire. One question asked, “Why did you choose this breed?” My client responded, “I often ask myself this very same question.” CINDY MAURO, West Milford, New Jersey

ONE OF THE MOST popular questions asked at our family restaurant This is a photograph of what I can is “What’s good tonight?” describe only as a domestic horse. Now, we would never serve anything we didn’t think was good. So I braced myself one Saturday night when I heard the dreaded question posed to my husband. He calmly replied, “Anything over $17.95.” From gcfl.net

Have a funny first-job horror story? It could be worth $100. See page 7 for Something here suggests a certain

ANDY DONALDSON/COURTESY TERRIBLE ESTATE AGENT TERRIBLE ESTATE DONALDSON/COURTESY ANDY details or go to rd.com/submit. lack of confidence in that stove.

rd.com | 06•2015 | 41 HEALTH

BY SUSAN INCE

WHEN SHE WAS 42, Tina Theobald suddenly developed a charley horse that wouldn’t ease. She had recently started jogging and thought nothing of the sore calf muscle. She iced it and hobbled through a short trip to Mexico as her leg swelled. Theobald happened to be scheduled to see her doctor for a sprained thumb upon her return, and she was diagnosed with—and immediately hospitalized for—a large blood clot in her leg. Two days later, Theobald struggled to breathe and was hit with chest pain so excruciat- ing, she needed morphine. A portion of the clot had broken off and was blocking the blood supply to part of her lung, a life-threatening condition called pulmonary embolism. Theobald always thought blood clots affected older people—and it’s true

42 | 06•2015 | rd.com that their risk is far higher—but she cases,” says Bengt Zöller, MD, an quickly discovered that young and associate professor of internal medi- middle-aged people are vulnerable cine at Lund University in Sweden. too. A number of risk factors play a A 2010 Danish study found that most role, including certain medications, younger adults with fatal pulmonary pregnancy, immobility that allows embolisms had told doctors about blood to pool (prolonged sitting, symptoms days or weeks before their say, during a long flight), surgery deaths, only to have their complaints or trauma (such as a car misinterpreted. accident) that can “Because DVTs and injure veins, and pulmonary embolisms conditions that increase Symptoms can be difficult to blood clotting (such can be vague, recognize, we need to as cancer and auto- emphasize prevention,” immune disorders). such as pain or says Nigel Key, MD, a By conservative feeling like you professor of medicine at estimates, each year as the University of North many as 600,000 people just can’t get Carolina at Chapel Hill. in the United States enough air. These measures can develop deep vein help you avoid life- thrombosis (DVT)— threatening clotting. clots most common in leg veins, where they can cause pain, swelling, Review Your Meds and redness. More than one in A few months prior to her DVT, four adults struck by a first DVT or Theobald had been prescribed birth pulmonary embolism are under 50, control pills to regulate her period. All according to a population study of estrogen-containing medication (as Minnesota adults. One third of DVTs well as the vaginal device NuvaRing are followed by pulmonary embolism, and newer birth control pills contain- which kills as many as 100,000 people ing drospirenone) may increase clot each year, often suddenly, says the risk (as does pregnancy, with risk CDC. A 2013 report from Australia returning to normal about 12 weeks indicates that deaths from pulmo- after delivery). Newer-generation birth nary embolism are on the rise in control pills are one suspected reason women 25 to 44. for the rising pulmonary embolism “Symptoms can be vague, such deaths in young Australian women. as pain or feeling like you just can’t If your doctor is worried about your get enough air. As a doctor, if you’re clotting risk, she may recommend

PROP STYLIST: SARAH GUIDO-LAASKO FOR HALLEY RESOURCES FOR GUIDO-LAASKO SARAH PROP STYLIST: not suspicious, you can miss a lot of nonhormonal contraception such

PHOTOGRAPH BY CLAIRE BENOIST rd.com | 06•2015 | 43 HEALTH as a barrier method or a copper IUD. which may reduce flow in the legs The American College of and raise the risk of clotting,” explains Obstetricians and Gynecologists Sigrid Brækkan, PhD, a researcher at urges physicians to consider pre- the University of Tromsø in Norway. scribing a patch rather than a pill for Theobald, who is five foot seven, postmenopausal women on hormone weighed near her heaviest, at 190 replacement therapy. Taking pills pounds, when her clot occurred. raises DVT risk up to fivefold compared with not taking hormones, but Get Moving delivering hormones through the skin Walking, or raising and lowering doesn’t seem to affect clotting risk. your heels while sitting, engages your In June 2014, the FDA announced calf muscles, squeezing veins and that prescription testosterone prod- propelling blood upward, which ucts must carry a warning that they helps prevent DVT. Immobility is raise DVT risk. Prednisone and other why long flights are a risk. The Amer- steroids, especially at high doses, ican College of Chest Physicians also increase DVT risk in both men recommends you get up once every and women. hour or so and raise and lower your heels or rotate your ankles when Know Your Family History seated. If you’re at high risk, ask your As the number of your close relatives doctor about wearing compression who’ve had a clot rises, so does your stockings or taking preventive blood- own DVT risk, found Swedish thinning medication for flights or research. Having two or more car trips of more than four hours. siblings with DVT raises your risk 50-fold compared with someone Eat Fish who has no affected siblings. “If you In a large Swedish study from 2014, have a strong family history, your people who took fish oil capsules doctor may think twice about pre- and ate fish three or more times a scribing hormones or may give a week had a 48 percent lower chance longer course of anticlotting drugs of developing DVT than those who after surgery,” says Dr. Zöller. ate fish less often and didn’t supplement with fish oil. Lose Weight Obesity can more than double DVT Be Vigilant at the Hospital risk, especially in women over five Sixty percent of DVTs occur in people foot six and men six feet or taller. who have recently been hospitalized, “Tall people have to pump blood whether for surgery (general anes- farther against the force of gravity, thesia temporarily widens veins,

44 | 06•2015 | rd.com NOW WITH FIBER

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Find BOOST ® in the Nutrition Aisle. HEALTH which can allow blood to pool and taking anticlotting meds because clot), trauma (anything that damages she knows that DVTs can return veins can slow blood flow, increasing with a vengeance. Five months after risk), or illness (which can lead to her initial 13-day hospital stay, prolonged bed rest). doctors weaned her off the blood Make sure doctors know about thinner warfarin, but a new clot your medications and any DVT risks, formed months later, enlarging her such as a significant family history. leg to almost the size of her waist. You should be encouraged to move The resulting ten-day hospital stint around, and you may need compres- brought new tortures, including sion stockings or anticlotting drugs. shots of clot-busting drugs into the Last June, Boston Medical Center affected thigh that Theobald’s doctor reported that it had reduced post- likened to Roto-Rootering her veins. surgery DVTs by 84 percent (from an Now she is committed to taking admittedly lousy record) by tailoring warfarin—or whatever easier treat- preventive treatment to patients’ ment comes along—for the rest risks and by getting patients walking of her life. She wears compression soon after operations. Also, follow stockings when sitting at her desk at medical advice before and after your a software company in Melbourne, discharge. Missed doses of preventive Florida. In her free time, she keeps drugs are to blame for many clots. moving—she’s proud to have just Theobald, for one, is diligent about completed her fifth triathlon.

ACT FAST ON THESE SYMPTOMS

A blood clot is a medical emergency because of the possibility of a pulmonary embolism. If you experience any of the symptoms below, seek medical aid right away, especially if you might be at increased risk because of recent immobility, pregnancy, surgery, or cancer.

SIGNS OF DVT IN A LEG: SIGNS OF PULMONARY EMBOLISM: ■ Pain (like a pulled muscle ■ Shortness of breath or a charley horse) ■ Chest pain ■ Swelling ■ Unexplained cough ■ Discoloration (red or blue) (may cough up blood)

■ Warm to touch ■ Rapid heartbeat Source: clotconnect.org

46 | 06•2015 | rd.com The owner’s manual for your house.

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#1 in DIY Home Improvement HEALTH During Summer During Problems ThatFeel Worse more likely.Stay hydrated andtalkto the summerthat make cramping legs may undergochanges during a newstudy.Motor neurons inyour summer,mon during according to These painsare ascom- abouttwice Nighttime Cramps Leg susceptible, soeaseinto workouts. Vigorous exercise canmake you in additiontorespiratory symptoms. onstomachacheswhich canbring (calledkind ofgerm anenterovirus), they’re typically caused by adifferent ones,as commonwinter but areSummer viruses only25percent Colds University physician RoshiniRaj, MD. can helpsootheskin,says New York last longer. Aloeandtopicalprobiotics Flare-ups canbemore frequent and ized by extreme redness andrashes. condition, aninflammation character- Warmer months canworsenthisskin Rosacea symptoms developed,thedoctor person inahotbath. Ifneurological of theoldestMStestswastoputa chusetts Hospital: General “One internist at andpediatrician Massa- notes Mallika Marshall, MD, an symptoms are aggravated by heat, Many multiple sclerosis patients find Autoimmune Diseases exacerbate cramps. medications,Certain suchasdiuretics, regimen.your doctoraboutdrug made hisdiagnosis.” For about 70 percent of peoplewith BY LAUREN GELMAN lupus, sunlight cantrigger skin rashes, fatigue, and joint pain. Cover up hat, andsunscreen. sleeves, with shirts a lightweightwith pants,

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Doctor’s Orders Reasons Your Scale 7Might Be Wrong BY THE PHYSICIANS OF THE DOCTORS

YOU WEIGH YOURSELF ON YOU DON’T FACTOR IN 1 DIFFERENT DAYS EACH WEEK 3 MUSCLE GAIN In a Cornell University study pub- You’ve heard that muscle is denser lished last year, researchers analyzed than fat. In fact, it takes up only the food and weight diaries that about a third as much space. If you 80 people kept for up to a year. They start a strength-training routine, found that peoples’ weight fluctuated the number on the scale might not considerably throughout the week— budge, but you could still lose inches many people were heaviest on and drop a clothing size or two. Mondays (blame decadent weekend eating) and lightest on Fridays. Keep YOU JUST GUZZLED WATER weigh-in days consistent for a more 4 It’s called water weight for accurate assessment. a reason: Drinking 16 ounces of water can translate to about one YOU MISCALCULATE pound of weight. So if you hop on 2 YOUR CLOTHING the scale soon after drinking an File this one under “Yes, scientists entire water bottle’s worth, you have actually studied this.” When might not like what you see—but University of North Dakota research- it’s just a temporary gain. ers weighed people naked and clothed at various times of the year, YOU WEIGH YOURSELF AFTER they found that men can subtract 5 AN INTENSE WORKOUT 2.5 pounds for their clothing and On the flip side, if you weigh in after women can shave off around two a sweaty cycling class, your weight pounds, on average. might be lower than usual because

50 | 06•2015 | rd.com of fluid loss. Hop on the scale if you consume more refined carbs you need a confidence boost, but than your body needs, you store know that your actual number could the excess as glycogen in your liver. be a pound or two higher. Glycogen attracts water, so eating a heaping bowl of pasta can bloat you YOU INDULGE IN A HIGH-CARB the same way a salty meal does. 6 OR HIGH-SODIUM MEAL Salty foods cause your body to YOU’RE CONSTIPATED hoard extra water, which can tem- 7 Being backed up for a couple porarily pad the number on the of days can add anywhere from one to scale. So can certain carbs. When four pounds to your scale readout.

Cohost Drew Ordon, MD Cohost Jennifer Berman, MD

YOUR DAILY DOSE The health teams at The Doctors and Reader’s Digest partner monthly to prescribe feel-great advice. Check local listings to watch the hit show every day.

PHOTOGRAPHS BY ROBYN TWOMEY rd.com | 06•2015 | 51 NEWS FROM THE World of Medicine

BY KELSEY KLOSS

Coffee—a Sun Blocker enough to stop using the devices National Cancer Institute researchers altogether. In a new approach, Uni- followed nearly 450,000 participants versity of Missouri researchers asked (ages 50 to 71) for an average of a group of elderly adults to gradually ten years. During that time, 2,904 increase how long they wore their developed malignant melanoma. hearing aids—and to increase sound However, people who drank four or intensities (from household appli- more cups of coffee per day had a ances to crowds of people, for exam- 20 percent lower risk than those who ple)—over 30 days. All participants drank none. Compounds in coffee reported dissatisfaction with the may suppress skin cancer by protect- aids at the start of the study, but ing cells from oxidative stress. 60 percent were satisfied after. Midlife Drinking Affects Bad Hand Washing Leads Stroke Risk To Contaminated Food A big risk of middle-age stroke may Kansas State University researchers be served in a cocktail glass. In observed home chefs cooking a a new study published in Stroke, meal including raw meat (injected researchers followed 11,644 middle- with a nonpathogenic organism aged Swedish twins for more than to track contamination) and fruit 40 years. Compared with those salad. Ninety percent of the cooks who drank less than half a drink contaminated the salad in ways daily, those who had an average of that could lead to foodborne illness. more than two drinks daily had a A major reason: bad hand washing. 34 percent higher risk of stroke. They Most cooks washed their hands but were also likely to have a stroke five used only water or didn’t wash long years earlier than light drinkers. enough (the CDC recommends at least 20 seconds). Ease into Hearing Aids People who begin using hearing Think Your Way Strong aids may find noises like background In a small study published in

conversations and wind bothersome the Journal of Neurophysiology, ROBIN FINLAY PROP STYLIST:

52 | 06•2015 | rd.com PHOTOGRAPH BY ADAM VOORHES about 30 volunteers put their non- Target, and GNC of selling dominant arms in casts for four fraudulent dietary supplements weeks. Half were asked to imagine after testing popular store brands flexing and resting their immobi- of herbal supplements. The office lized wrists in five-second intervals. found that many pills didn’t con- All casted volunteers lost strength, tain the ingredients listed on the but those who performed mental label: A supplement marketed as exercises lost 50 percent less ginkgo biloba, for example, tested strength than those who had not. positive for only asparagus, rice, Practicing mental exercises may and spruce. Check with a doc- help postoperative patients tor to find out which store preserve functionality. supplements might actually benefit you most. Breathe to Ease Dry Eyes Household Items Don’t have enough tears? May Prompt Take a deep breath. Japa- Menopause nese researchers asked Women with higher levels 20 women to breathe either of everyday exposure to normally or abdominally chemicals experienced (inhaling for four seconds menopause two to four and exhaling for six) for years earlier than the three minutes. Tear volume average woman in a large remained constant after Washington University normal breathing but School of Medicine study. increased by 48 percent Chemicals significantly within 15 minutes of the linked to earlier meno- deep-breathing session. pause included pesticides Deep breathing may restore and phthalates (which are balance to the part of the common in everyday nervous system that products such as is linked to tear lotion, hairspray, production. perfume, and nail polish). The study Supplements Can Be didn’t prove causation, but Mislabeled researchers say it is a call for The New York State attorney more research, since early general’s office accused menopause can pose Walmart, Walgreens, various health risks.

rd.com | 06•2015 | 53 Is your BLADDER calling the shots?

Talk to your doctor about Myrbetriq® (mirabegron), approved by the FDA to treat overactive bladder (OAB) symptoms of:

Urgency Frequency Leakage

In clinical trials, those taking Myrbetriq made fewer trips to the bathroom and had fewer leaks than those not taking Myrbetriq. Your results may vary.

TAKING CHARGE OF YOUR OAB SYMPTOMS STARTS WITH TALKING TO YOUR DOCTOR. Visit Myrbetriq.com for doctor discussion tips. Ask your doctor if Myrbetriq may be right for you, and see if you can get your ﬁ rst prescription at no cost.* *Subject to eligibility. Restrictions may apply.

Important Safety Information Myrbetriq may cause your blood pressure to increase or make your blood pressure worse if you have a history of high blood pressure.

Please see additional Important Safety Information on next page. Use of Myrbetriq (meer-BEH-trick) Myrbetriq® (mirabegron) is a prescription medicine for adults used to treat overactive bladder with symptoms of urgency, frequency, and leakage. Important Safety Information (continued) It is recommended that your doctor check your blood pressure while you are taking Myrbetriq. Myrbetriq may increase your chances of not being able to empty your bladder. Tell your doctor right away if you have trouble emptying your bladder or you have a weak urine stream. Tell your doctor about all the medicines you take including medications for overactive bladder or other medicines such as thioridazine (Mellaril® and Mellaril S®), ﬂ ecainide (Tambocor™), propafenone (Rythmol®), digoxin (Lanoxin®).* Myrbetriq may affect the way other medicines work, and other medicines may affect how Myrbetriq works. Before taking Myrbetriq, tell your doctor if you have liver or kidney problems. In clinical studies, the most common side effects seen with Myrbetriq included increased blood pressure, common cold symptoms (nasopharyngitis), urinary tract infection and headache.

Please see Brief Summary of Prescribing Information for Myrbetriq on the following pages. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Myrbetriq is a registered trademark of Astellas Pharma Inc. *All other trademarks or registered trademarks are the property of their respective owners. ©2015 Astellas Pharma US, Inc. All rights reserved. Printed in USA. 057-0410-PM Myrbetriq® (mirabegron) extended-release tablets 25 mg, 50 mg Brief Summary based on FDA-approved patient labeling Read the Patient Information that comes with Myrbetriq® (mirabegron) before you start taking it and HDFKWLPH\RXJHWDUH¿OO7KHUHPD\EHQHZLQIRUPDWLRQ7KLVVXPPDU\GRHVQRWWDNHWKHSODFHRI WDONLQJZLWK\RXUGRFWRUDERXW\RXUPHGLFDOFRQGLWLRQRUWUHDWPHQW What is Myrbetriq (meer-BEH-trick)? 0\UEHWULTLVDSUHVFULSWLRQPHGLFDWLRQIRUadults XVHGWRWUHDWWKHIROORZLQJV\PSWRPVGXHWRD FRQGLWLRQFDOOHGoveractive bladder: XUJHXULQDU\LQFRQWLQHQFHDVWURQJQHHGWRXULQDWHZLWKOHDNLQJRUZHWWLQJDFFLGHQWV • urgency: a strong need to urinate right away • frequency: urinating often ,WLVQRWNQRZQLI0\UEHWULTLVVDIHDQGHIIHFWLYHLQFKLOGUHQ What is overactive bladder? 2YHUDFWLYHEODGGHURFFXUVZKHQ\RXFDQQRWFRQWURO\RXUEODGGHUFRQWUDFWLRQV:KHQWKHVHPXVFOH FRQWUDFWLRQVKDSSHQWRRRIWHQRUFDQQRWEHFRQWUROOHG\RXFDQJHWV\PSWRPVRIRYHUDFWLYHEODGGHU ZKLFKDUHXULQDU\IUHTXHQF\XULQDU\XUJHQF\DQGXULQDU\LQFRQWLQHQFH OHDNDJH What should I tell my doctor before taking Myrbetriq? %HIRUH\RXWDNH0\UEHWULTWHOO\RXUGRFWRULI\RX KDYHOLYHUSUREOHPVRUNLGQH\SUREOHPV KDYHYHU\KLJKXQFRQWUROOHGEORRGSUHVVXUH KDYHWURXEOHHPSW\LQJ\RXUEODGGHURU\RXKDYHDZHDNXULQHVWUHDP DUHSUHJQDQWRUSODQWREHFRPHSUHJQDQW,WLVQRWNQRZQLI0\UEHWULTZLOOKDUP\RXUXQERUQEDE\ 7DONWR\RXUGRFWRULI\RXDUHSUHJQDQWRUSODQWREHFRPHSUHJQDQW DUHEUHDVWIHHGLQJRUSODQWREUHDVWIHHG,WLVQRWNQRZQLI0\UEHWULTSDVVHVLQWR\RXUEUHDVWPLON

352'8&72)-$3$125,5(/$1'±6HHERWWOHODEHORUEOLVWHUSDFNDJHIRURULJLQ Manufactured by: Astellas Pharma Technologies, Inc. 1RUPDQ2NODKRPD Marketed and Distributed by: Astellas Pharma US, Inc. 1RUWKEURRN,OOLQRLV

* Myrbetriq®LVDUHJLVWHUHGWUDGHPDUNRI$VWHOODV3KDUPD,QF$OORWKHUWUDGHPDUNVRUUHJLVWHUHG WUDGHPDUNVDUHWKHSURSHUW\RIWKHLUUHVSHFWLYHRZQHUV $VWHOODV3KDUPD86,QF 5HYLVHG-XQH &0,5%5)6 30 FROZEN DESSERTS MUST HAVE AT LEAST 10 PERCENT MILK FAT TO BE CALLED ICE CREAM. #28 COVER STORY 50 Things

FoodManufacturers Won’t Tell You

Eye-opening insights into how your food is made and what you can do to eat better

BY MICHELLE CROUCH

PHOTOGRAPHS BY BETH GALTON

rd.com | 06•2015 | 59 50 THINGS FOOD MANUFACTURERS WON’T TELL YOU

REASSURING NEWS industry. It’s in a lot of foods you don’t expect: certain soups, pilaf, and ham- “When we recently examined big burger, for example. So if everything food companies over a five-year you eat is from a box, a can, or a bag, 1 period, we found that 99 per- then you may get too much and have cent of their growth was coming from reason for concern. But if you eat a va- lower-calorie products. That was, riety of foods, you don’t have to worry.” quite frankly, a stunning surprise. KANTHA SHELKE, PHD, a food scientist So they’re not just sitting around on who specializes in ingredients at Corvus their hands. They are moving in the Blue, a Chicago-based research firm right direction.” Former food-industry executive “Organic foods are the new kids HANK CARDELLO, director of the Obesity on the block, so producers are Solutions Initiative at the Hudson Institute (a fighting aggressively for market nonprofit think tank) and author of Stuffed 4 share. One way they can increase sales is by convincing you that all chemicals “Consumers clearly want are bad, GMOs are bad, pesticides are more natural ingredients and bad—and some of that has no basis 2 transparency about what in science or fact. That makes it very they’re eating, and smart manufac- confusing for consumers.” turers are getting that and respond- BRUCE CHASSY, PHD, a food safety ing. Nestlé has moved to get rid of and nutrition scientist and a artificial colors and flavors in its professor emeritus at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign chocolate candy. Kraft is removing artificial dyes from some types of macaroni and cheese. And some fast- “Some people say that if you’re food chains are removing antibiotics not familiar with an ingredient— from their chicken.” HANK CARDELLO 5if you can’t pronounce it—then you shouldn’t eat it. I think that re- “The concept of ‘the dose makes flects an ignorance of chemistry and the poison’ is very important in nutrition. Take riboflavin, cobalamin, 3 the realm of food, especially and pyridoxamine. They’re big words when it comes to natural flavors and and sound like things you don’t want artificial colors. All food ingredients in your food, but they are actually all and nutrients—even those we need to forms of vitamin B, and skipping them survive—have a threshold for safety. can be detrimental to your health. When caramel color was approved, Instead of being scared of ingredients nobody anticipated how much of it you don’t know, educate yourself.” would be used in the food and beverage KANTHA SHELKE, PHD

60 | 06•2015 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST

“It drives me crazy when peo- INGREDIENTS, DECODED ple think all food marketers are 6 just trying to pull one over on “People are nervous about syn- them. For every brand I’ve worked on, thetic flavors. But as more na- consumer research has been the cor- 7tions develop Western tastes nerstone of everything. New products for prepared foods, we may not have always start with solving a problem enough natural sources. Take vanilla, for consumers. It doesn’t start with which naturally comes from a bean in solving our business need and then an orchid. If everyone in India wanted shoving it down consumers’ throats.” a vanilla milk shake at the same time, SUZANNE GINESTRO, chief marketing officer there wouldn’t be enough. But we at Bolthouse Farms who previously worked have discovered a way of making a at Pinkberry, Red Bull, Nestlé, and Kraft vanillin from algae. It tastes, smells,

WHY WE BUY WHAT WE BUY 891011 “When a food “We use powerful “The term multi- “When you see a has a green visual imagery on grain usually buy-one-get-one calorie label, our packaging to means a product deal or other you may think it’s connect with you is not a healthy promotion at more nutritious. on an emotional choice. People your local grocery We showed peo- level. There’s the confuse it with store, food com- ple two identical Kraft Macaroni whole grain, but panies are often candy bars, but & Cheese all it means is the ones giving one had a green smiling noodle that several kinds you that, not the label, and the and ‘You know of grain were store. Stores can other, a red one. you love it’ tag- used. The first require us to do all The people were line. That noodle ingredient should sorts of promot- much more likely actually makes be whole grain.” ing and run sales to say the green- consumers smile KATHERINE a certain number labeled product back at the TALLMADGE, of times per year.” was healthier.” packaging.” a Washington, JASON BURKE, JONATHON TED MININNI, DC–based founder of the nutritionist SCHULDT, director package design New Primal, and the author of Cornell’s Social consultant and a grass-fed beef of Diet Simple Cognition and president of jerky company Communication Lab Design Force

rd.com | 06•2015 | 61 50 THINGS FOOD MANUFACTURERS WON’T TELL YOU and acts like regular vanilla, and your it’s considered safe. Alternatives are body cannot tell the difference.” petroleum-derived chemicals Red KANTHA SHELKE, PHD No. 40 and No. 3, which some studies have linked to such health problems as “People think crackers hyperactivity in children and cancer are healthy, but in many in animals. I’d rather have the insects, 12 ways, they’re as bad for to be honest.” you as chips. Your typical cracker is DANIEL TAPPER, author of Food made with refined grains and flavor- Unwrapped: Lifting the Lid on How ing built around fat, salt, and sugar. Our Food Is Really Produced Then preservatives are often added so the crackers can sit on the shelf for “Some producers hide a year. Also, whole-grain crackers are sugar by giving it differ- rare. Ninety-nine percent of crackers 15 ent names—high-fructose out there are a treat.” corn syrup, cane crystals, dextrose, BRUCE BRADLEY, former marketing evaporated cane juice, agave nectar, executive for General Mills and fruit juice concentrate. If a prod- and author of Fat Profits uct has a lot of sugar, some companies will intentionally use two or more dif- “Manufacturers can hide ferent types so sugar doesn’t end up things under natural being number one on the ingredients 13 flavoring. When I started list. The FDA has proposed a change in this business and was interviewing that would require manufacturers to possible partners, I was shocked at the add up all these types of sugar and list amount of deception. Manufacturers them as added sugars.” and copackers would ask what ingre- WALTER WILLETT, MD, chairman of the dients I was using for preservation, department of nutrition at the Harvard and then they would tell me, ‘You School of Public Health in Boston know you can use X or Y—just call it natural flavoring on the package. No “In any food, there may one will know.’” JASON BURKE be a number of unla- 16 beled ingredients. Stud- “The red color in many ies have shown that trace amounts foods comes from crushed of pesticides are routinely present 14 insects. If you see carmine in foods. Other ingredients come or cochineal extract in an ingredients from the packaging. When food is in list, the product contains a little pow- a box, for instance, tiny bits of card- dered bug. But aside from being an board and the chemicals used to allergen for a small number of people, produce the cardboard get into the

62 | 06•2015 | rd.com UNDER FDA GUIDELINES, THESE SLICES CANNOT BE CALLED “CHEESE.” #27 50 THINGS FOOD MANUFACTURERS WON’T TELL YOU food. The same with plastic. BPA [an bloating, and other stomach prob- industrial chemical that has been lems. Watch out for chicory root, linked to health problems] is the maltodextrin, and polydextrose on biggest example.” the ingredients list.” MICHAEL JACOBSON, PHD, ROBERT J. DAVIS, PHD, author of Coffee Is executive director of the Center for Good for You: From Vitamin C and Organic Science in the Public Interest Foods to Low-Carb and Detox Diets, the Truth About Diet and Nutrition Claims

“Many ‘high in fiber’ products are stuffed with what “FDA regulation does allow 17 is essentially fake fiber. some insect parts [from It’s not as healthy as the naturally 18 harvesting, the manu- occurring fiber in whole grains and facturing process, etc.] in your food. vegetables. It may even cause gas, Peanut butter can have up to 30 insect

“HEALTHY” PRODUCTS THAT MIGHT NOT BE 19 20 21 22 “Baked, popped, “Synthetic and “When the label “Everyone knows or low-fat ‘chips’ artificial sweeten- on meat says no all about the may seem health- ers were origi- nitrates or nitrites incredible health ier. But often, nally found useful added, that’s benefits of tea, they’re just baked for people who incorrect. Most but bottled tea conglomerations had diabetes. of those products can have very of highly refined They were take celery pow- few of those potato flakes, supposed to be der, which is very benefits. Tea refined grains, an occasional high in natural ni- needs to be and different ingredient. Today, trates, and convert freshly brewed.” kinds of powders. people think be- it into a chemical KATHERINE You may be cause they have that, in the lab, is TALLMADGE better off eating no calories, they no different from potato chips, can consume as the traditional made with real much of them version.” potatoes fried in as they want.” JOSEPH SEBRANEK, PHD, a healthful oil.” KANTHA SHELKE, a professor of meat science KATHERINE PHD TALLMADGE at Iowa State University

64 | 06•2015 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST parts per 100 grams. It has no effect unclear whether it affects the meat), on the healthiness, but people might but they were certainly surprising.” want to know.” KEEVE NACHMAN, PHD, a director at the MICHAEL JACOBSON, PHD Center for a Livable Future at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health SURPRISING FACTS ABOUT SAFETY “The FDA inspects less than 2 percent of our sea- “The newest concern 25 food imports, while the is over nanoparticles, European Union inspects 20 to 50 per- 23 which are so small, they cent of theirs. Since 90 percent of our can penetrate our cell walls. While seafood comes from other countries, some types of nanoparticles may banned drug residues and unwanted increase the shelf life of packaged contaminants could be getting in. If you food, not much is known about how can, choose domestic seafood (the FDA they affect our bodies. And because requires that seafood be labeled with its they’re not required to be listed on country of origin), especially if you buy food labels, we don’t know how many shrimp, because when it is inspected, it manufacturers are using them.” fails more than other products.” BRUCE BRADLEY DAVE LOVE, PHD, a researcher at the Center for a Livable Future at the Johns Hopkins “We did a study in 2012 Bloomberg School of Public Health in which we looked at 24 feather meal, a by- FOOD FAKE-OUTS product of poultry production, to see what drugs the chickens may have re- “Your extra-virgin olive oil ceived before slaughter. A number of may actually be a lower- samples had residues of antibiotics 26 grade oil. In our research, that are banned from use in poul- approximately 70 percent of bottles try. Many also contained caffeine, pulled off supermarket shelves were acetaminophen (the active ingredi- either rancid or did not meet the cri- ent in Tylenol), and diphenhydramine teria for the extra-virgin grade. To find (the active ingredient in Benadryl). a good oil, look for a dark glass or tin Samples from China had fluox- container, which protects the oil from etine, the same active ingredient as light, and a harvest date, which better the antidepressant Prozac. From a producers often include on the bottle.” human health perspective, our find- DAN FLYNN, executive director of the ings weren’t necessarily worrisome University of California, Davis, (since we don’t eat feathers, and it’s Olive Center

rd.com | 06•2015 | 65 50 THINGS FOOD MANUFACTURERS WON’T TELL YOU

“Many ‘cheese products’ HOW WE PLEASE (for example, processed YOUR PALATE 27 slices and some shred- ded brands) aren’t really cheese. “Companies hire tast- To save money and simplify the pro- ing panels to find duction process, manufacturers take 30 what’s known as a out some of the milk and replace product’s bliss point, the perfect it with processed milk protein amount of sugar that creates the concentrate or whey protein concen- maximum amount of appeal. To trate. Under FDA guidelines, those create Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper, for products can’t be called cheese; instance, a Cadbury Schweppes con- instead they’re called pasteurized sultant prepared 61 distinct formulas prepared cheese products.” and subjected them to 3,904 tastings.” MELANIE WARNER, author MICHAEL MOSS, author of Salt Sugar Fat: of Pandora’s Lunchbox: How Processed How the Food Giants Hooked Us Food Took Over the American Meal “Salt is a miracle ingredi- “In order for a product ent to food manufacturers. to legally be considered 31 It acts as a preservative, 28 ice cream in the United saves money by substituting for more States, it must contain at least 10 per- expensive herbs and spices, brings out cent milk fat. If there’s less than that, sweetness, and masks the bad flavors you can’t call it ice cream. If you look inherent to many processed foods.” closely in the supermarket, you’ll see MICHAEL MOSS a lot of products are labeled frozen dairy dessert.” “The majority of pro- JORDAN PIERSON, chief marketing cessed foods start in the officer of Wink Frozen Desserts 32 factory with huge vats of processed flours, sugars, and oils. “Watch out for Greek They’re dumped into systems that mix yogurt that is not them and add salts, flavorings, and col- 29 authentically strained. orings to re-create the look and feel of Some manufacturers will use add-ins something you might make at home. instead of straining the yogurt to Then we would sprinkle in some ‘fairy make it thick. How to tell: If you see dust.’ Maybe it’s something to make it either whey protein concentrate or feel more handcrafted, like sun-dried milk protein concentrate on the tomatoes. Or it may be vitamins, anti- ingredients list, the company is taking oxidants, or extra fiber so we can say shortcuts.” MELANIE WARNER it’s good for you.” BRUCE BRADLEY

66 | 06•2015 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST

“You can’t get people the FDA would look at it would be if to buy something just customers were complaining.” 33 by telling them it’s good JOEL WARADY, chief marketing for them. You have to appeal to their officer of Enjoy Life Foods senses and emotions. Kids are 65 percent more likely to grab an apple if it “Our FDA today is not has a Sesame Street character on it, the FDA it used to be. so now we’ve got Sesame Street on 36 There are a lot of peo- all types of fruits and vegetables. We ple in the FDA with a vested interest also ask people to post fruit and veg- in enterprises that have to do with gie ‘food porn’ on their social media synthetic products. People should accounts.” SUZANNE GINESTRO be cautious.” A FOOD SCIENTIST who consults WHO’S GUARDING for major food companies THE HENHOUSE? CHEW ON THIS “For many additives that go into food, our “When you develop 34 regulatory system is new food products, pretty close to nonexistent. The FDA 37 your goal is to find lets food manufacturers do their own headaches in the marketplace safety testing and decide indepen- that are intense, deeply felt, and dently whether ingredients are ‘gen- widely shared, at least among a erally recognized as safe.’ There are no particular niche. When I worked at specific mandatory guidelines about Oscar Mayer in the 1980s, we heard the type of testing they have to do. from working moms about what a They don’t even have to tell the FDA scramble it was to get ready for work about new additives they’re using.” and pack lunches for the kids. We MELANIE WARNER came up with the idea of putting food in a kit or a tray. We started with “In my experience, one bologna, but then we had to find thing that really sur- a bread. But bread didn’t last. We 35 prised me is that no decided on crackers, which was a real governing body is required to pre- question mark because no one was check nutritional labels for accuracy. eating crackers for lunch then. The When we develop a product, we use funny thing was, kids loved them. So software to create the label, but we that’s how Lunchables was born.” don’t have to submit it to anyone. It’s BOB DRANE, a former all self-policed. I think the only time Oscar Mayer executive

rd.com | 06•2015 | 67 50 THINGS FOOD MANUFACTURERS WON’T TELL YOU

“A lot of the foods we eat INSIDE THE BUSINESS have interesting origins. 38 For example, the bacte- “Getting your products ria responsible for sourdough bread into grocery stores is originally came from rodent feces. 41 incredibly difficult. We Any sourdough you eat has that were in business for seven or eight history, yet it’s all perfectly safe and months before we persuaded the first delicious.” retailer to carry our product. Some ROB DUNN, PHD, a biologist at chains ask you to pay thousands of NC State University and the author of dollars up front—or donate the equiv- The Man Who Touched His Own Heart alent in product—before they’ll take your product.” “The first graham crack- AN OFFICER at a small food company ers were invented by 39 a Presbyterian minister “While many people to reduce sexual desire: Sylvester complain about food Graham thought Americans were 42 prices, the fact is that too filled with desire and blamed U.S. families spend only 5.6 percent meat, white bread, and alcohol. He of their disposable income on food created the graham cracker. It was products consumed at home. Few a bland, whole wheat–like biscuit. people know that the United States It wasn’t until after his death that it has the lowest percentage of any turned into the sweet treat that we industrialized country in the world.” know today.” ROGER LOWE, executive vice LIBBY O’CONNELL, PHD, historian president of communication at the and author of The American Plate: Grocery Manufacturers Association A Culinary History in 100 Bites “In a given year, up “The louder a potato to 89 percent of new chip crunches, the 43 items fail. That’s why 40 more people like it— most new products that big food and the more they will eat. When companies put out now are simple Frito-Lay used a $40,000 device that line extensions. Coming up with simulates a chewing mouth to test a new flavor of Gatorade or chips and perfect the chips, they discovered is much easier than investing, say, the optimal break point: Most people $20 million developing, creating, like a chip that snaps with about four and introducing a great new mega- pounds of pressure per square inch.” product. Then they look for smaller MICHAEL MOSS companies breaking ground with new

68 | 06•2015 | rd.com PHOTO/ILLUSTRATION CREDIT TO GETCHERRY 3,904 TASTINGS JUST RIGHT. DR PEPPER VANILLA IT TOOK #30

50 THINGS FOOD MANUFACTURERS WON’T TELL YOU products and buy them, so that’s why “Cereal is nowhere you see General Mills buying a com- near as wholesome as pany like Annie’s.” HANK CARDELLO 47 companies want you to believe. The manufacturing process “Sometimes, the func- destroys a lot of the natural nutrition, tion and convenience even if the product contains whole 44 of a package can help grains. That’s why virtually every push a brand toward the top of its cereal has a long list of added vitamins category and even revolutionize an and minerals. In my family, we don’t industry. Plum Organics did it when it eat cereal very often, and we look for came up with the idea of selling baby ones that have less than eight grams of food in squeezable pouches. And sugar per serving.” MELANIE WARNER Domino Sugar did it when it replaced its messy paper bag with a pourable “Farmed salmon is plastic jar.” TED MININNI not necessarily a bad 48 choice, especially if you SMART GROCERY get it from a store that’s careful about STORE PICKS its sourcing. Some studies show it has slightly more heart-healthy omega-3s “When it comes to than wild salmon.” crackers, Triscuits are ROBERT J. DAVIS, PHD 45 a good choice. The original version has only three ingre- “If you’re prone to dia- dients: whole-grain wheat, oil, and betes, stick to regular salt. Other good options are the Finn 49 pasta instead of whole Crisp and Wasa brands, which are wheat. Whole wheat pasta often has also 100 percent whole grain and low more starch than regular because of in sodium.” KATHERINE TALLMADGE the way it’s ground. Or just look for a pasta with a low glycemic index, “Those 100-calorie which some brands put on the box.” snack packs can work. KANTHA SHELKE, PHD 46 When we gave people four 100-calorie packs of crackers, “It can get overwhelm- they ate on average about 25 percent ing with all the advice less than when we gave them a single 50 that’s out there, but the 400-calorie pack.” number one basic step you can take is COLLIN PAYNE, PHD, codirector simply to eat more fruits and veggies. If of the consumer behavior lab at you want to go further, cook more.” New Mexico State University BRUCE BRADLEY

70 | 06•2015 | rd.com

Laughter THE BEST MEDICINE

I TOLD MY GIRLFRIEND that it complaining that it wouldn’t run. looked like she was drawing her eye- “It’ll run,” said Gary. “But you brows too high. She looked surprised. have to curse at it to get it started.” Submitted by ADAM JOSHUA SMARGON, The minister was shocked. “I have Newark, Delaware not uttered a curse in 30 years.” “Just keep pulling on the starter GARY WAS HAVING a yard sale. rope—the words will come back to A minister bought a lawn mower you.” Submitted by LAVERNE LAUTERBACH, but returned it a few days later, Lansing, Michigan

72 | 06•2015 | rd.com ILLUSTRATION BY MIKE SHIELL HERE ARE EYE-CATCHING cover WHAT ANIMALS REALLY THINK lines (from the satirical publication the Onion) that make us want to read the article! ■ “I Thought He Was Going to Kill Me”: One Woman’s Harrowing Mis- understanding of How Haircuts Work ■ The 100 Worst Senators ■ The World’s 10 Most Powerful Women: We Make Them Discuss Fashion and Lindsay Lohan Source: The Onion Magazine: The Iconic Covers That Transformed an Undeserving World (Little, Brown)

Q: Why did the chicken go to the séance? A: To get to the other side.

MY NEIGHBOR is in the Guinness World Records. He has had 44 con- cussions. He lives very close to me. A stone’s throw away, in fact. COMEDIAN STEWART FRANCIS

FAMOUS QUOTES (WITH MORE APPROPRIATE AUTHORS) ■ “Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder’s fork, and blind-worm’s sting, Lizard’s leg, and howlet’s wing.” PAULA DEEN ■ “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” TAYLOR SWIFT ■ “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” CHRISTIAN GREY From humorlabs.com

Got a funny pet joke or anecdote? It might be worth $$$. See page 7 for From Are You Dissing Me? by Simon Winheld details, or go to rd.com/submit. (Chronicle Books)

rd.com | 06•2015 | 73

DRAMA IN REAL LIFE

PRECIOUS SURVIVAL

Only eight people have lived through rabies without a vaccine. Precious Reynolds is one of them. Here is her story.

BY HELEN BOEMELBURG FROM STERN

Precious at home in Willow Creek, California, with the family horses

rd.com | 06•2015 | 75 PRECIOUS SURVIVAL

n the tiny California town of Willow Creek, population 1,700, four dogs erupt from within a blue wooden house, barking angrily. Precious Reynolds, a wiry little girl with shiny black hair and almond-shaped blue eyes, runs along behind them. “Be quiet! Behave!” she scolds as she opens the gate to the yard. IPrecious, her two sisters, her creating cylindrical projectiles that brother, and her cousin live here with travel through the nervous system at a their grandparents, Shirlee Roby, 65, rate of two to ten centimeters a day. If a California highway construction an infected person receives the rabies worker, and Jack, 80, who runs the vaccine in the two- or three-day win- household. The rural setting of the dow after contracting the virus and Robys’ home suits Precious. She’s before developing symptoms, survival an avid wrestler and animal lover is nearly guaranteed. But once the and regularly wins “mutton busting” virus reaches the brain, it becomes an competitions, in which kids sit rodeo- almost incurable inflammation with style on the backs of frantic sheep for nearly zero chance of survival. as long as they can. Precious’s nightmare began with a In April 2011, Precious, then eight, fit of vomiting one night three weeks had to hang on through a different after her run-in with the cat. The next kind of ride. One day during recess at morning, Jack took her to a local doc- her Willow Creek elementary school, tor, who suspected appendicitis and Precious knelt down to pet a gray cat. told Jack to take her to Mad River When she stuck out her hand, the cat Community Hospital, a 40-minute nipped her left middle finger, drawing drive away. The staff there said it blood. The wound didn’t particularly was probably a bout of flu, so Jack concern her teacher, who told Precious took Precious home. Two days later, to go to the school office, where a in the middle of the night, Precious secretary put a small bandage on the woke up her grandparents complain- girl’s finger and sent her back to class. ing of a headache and neck and back This is how all rabies stories begin. pains. Jack took her to the hospital, An infected animal, often unprovoked, where she was given pain medication bites or scratches a person, transmit- and then sent home. By that evening, ting a horrific infection though its Precious couldn’t hold up her head. saliva. The rabies virus is shaped like “She lay in my arms like a rag doll,”

a bullet, with glycoprotein and lipids recounts Shirlee. The tiniest drop IMAGES PREVIOUS SPREAD: CHARLES OMMANNEY/GETTY

76 | 06•2015 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST of water was enough to make her it was too late to give the little girl a cough and retch and push away her vaccine, and the next stage of the glass, even though she was incredibly virus, which could include halluci- thirsty. Hydrophobia, or fear of water, nations, high fever, and delusions, is a symptom of rabies. seemed inevitable. The best the hos- Shirlee bundled Precious into her pital could offer her was “comfort pickup and drove her straight back to care,” a death without suffering. the hospital. “This ain’t no damn flu!” she told OUIS PASTEUR discovered a the doctors. She demanded that means of preventing rabies in they take another look at her grand- L the summer of 1885, when he daughter, whose condition was getting used the desiccated spinal cord of worse by the hour. Precious was an infected rabbit to save the life of whisked by ambulance to the airport in a nine-year-old boy who had been McKinleyville, then flown more than mauled by a rabid dog. After that 200 miles to Sacramento. advance, however, doctors and re- In the pediatric intensive care unit at searchers made little progress in the the University of California Davis Chil- treatment of the virus. dren’s Hospital, a team of pediatricians Luckily, Precious’s team of doctors and intensive care doctors worked to at UC Davis knew about a high-risk pin down what appeared to be slowly experimental treatment developed killing Precious. Tests ruled out Epstein-Barr virus, hepa- titis B and C, typhoid, polio, The best the hospital could Lyme disease, and typhus. Lead infectious disease phy- offer her was “comfort care,” sician Jean Wiedeman called a death without suffering. experts and scanned through reams of specialist publications. in 2004 by Rodney Willoughby Jr., Eventually, she spoke to Carol MD, a Milwaukee pediatrician. Glaser, chief of the Encephalitis and Dr. Willoughby treated teenager Special Investigations Section for Jeanna Giese, who had contracted the the California Department of Public infection from a rabid bat, by placing Health, who worked as both a medical her in a medically induced coma and doctor and a veterinarian. Dr. Glaser giving her antiviral drugs. He hypoth- suspected Precious had rabies. Tests esized that the human immune sys- confirmed that, and five days after tem could fight off the rabies virus if Precious was admitted to intensive it had more time. His idea apparently care, they finally had a diagnosis. But worked. After seven days, Jeanna

rd.com | 06•2015 | 77 PRECIOUS SURVIVAL

Precious and her grandmother Shirlee Roby at a Sacramento hospital on June 8, 2011 had large numbers of antibodies in pile of tubes and cables in her hospi- her bloodstream. Over the next sev- tal bed as a ventilator kept her alive. eral weeks, she gradually improved While Precious was unconscious, her enough to go home. A year later, a grandmother sat beside her, whisper- ing encouraging words. “I’d tell her that she had a big, bad /CORBIS Doctors put Precious into bug inside her, and she had to a coma to protect her brain fight it,” Shirlee recalls. But by day 14, Precious while the virus ran its course. hadn’t improved, and doctors began trying to prepare subtle slurring in her speech was the Shirlee for the worst. Shirlee planted only reminder of the virus. herself squarely in front of every

If Precious was going to pull doctor or nurse who dared to voice CHRONICLE SAN FRANCISCO through, the team would have to doubts. “If you can’t have a positive give the procedure a shot. Jack and attitude, we don’t want you here,” Shirlee gave their consent, and doc- Shirlee told them. Shirlee, who is a tors put Precious into a coma. Her descendent of Wiyot Native Americans,

small body was barely visible under a brought a Native American medicine MICHAEL MACOR/

78 | 06•2015 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST bag to the hospital and put it around now known as the Milwaukee proto- Precious’s neck. col. To date, the procedure has been Two days later, Precious’s immune used 57 times, saving eight lives. system started to fight back, and the doctors changed their tunes. “She ACK IN THE YARD in Willow could respond [with her eyes],” says Creek, nearly everything has Dr. Wiedeman. “There were subtle Breturned to normal. Precious signs that she was performing well, went back to school and is compet- given her diagnosis.” ing in sheep rodeos. The family and With her body fighting back, doc- their animals have been given pre- tors slowly began to bring Precious cautionary rabies vaccinations. Jack out of the coma. When she fully re- and Shirlee are struggling with the gained consciousness, she faced medical bills from Precious’s care, but weeks of rehabilitation to recover her they couldn’t be happier to have the ability to talk and move normally. little girl home. “She’s my hero,” says But after 53 days in the hospital, she Shirlee. “They gave her a 5 percent walked out on her own, making one chance to live, and she showed them of the quickest recoveries after what’s she could do it.”

Wondering if your neuroses, phobias, and eccentricities are normal? Never fear; you’re in good company, says our panel of experts.

BY LENORE SKENAZY

Is It Just Me? M I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS landlocked boats are ominous? Anyone else out there run screaming when you hear Christmas carolers approach? Surely others share my suspicions that Brad Pitt and Danny DeVito are brothers. No? Well, I know one thing: A lot of you have odd peccadilloes too. So we’ve shared a list of our readers’ obsessions and anxieties with therapists, doctors, professors, and TMZ (OK, not them) in hopes that they could answer the question … Is it just us?

I HATE GETTING PRESENTS. expensive. They’d go to Colombia and Every time I get one, all I can bring me back a bag of coffee. But that think is, Oh, great—now I have to meant then I’d have to remember to get her a present. Am I a grinch? pick up a present for them.” This was so pointless—annoying, really—that eventually the doctor Technically, the Grinch did not hate called them on it. “I said, ‘You don’t getting presents at all. He liked them have to bring me something, because so much, in fact, he stole them. So for I really don’t like to look around for what it’s worth, you are not a grinch. something for you.’ ” Except he put it Perhaps more reassuringly, you are more diplomatically: “Please! Spend also not alone. the money on yourself.” There’s actually something called Poof! The problem (and gifts) disap- gift-giving anxiety, a condition peared. So it may be worth exploring— described by University of Michigan delicately—the possibility that both professor D. B. Wooten as anxiety based you and your gifters want out. on “the need for approval and fear of being seen or judged in a negative MY FRIENDS SAY I AM OBSESSED way.” When getting a gift means giving WITH “CONSPIRACY THEORIES.” one—and giving one means worrying I say I am obsessed with the whether the gift is thoughtful, recip- truth. Honestly, can’t everyone rocal, or expensive enough—naturally else see the plots, machinations, it’s not fun to get a gift. It feels like and treachery that I see? you’ve been given a test. “There are a lot of sitcoms based on this,” chuckles Alan Hilfer, chief No, they can’t. But that doesn’t mean psychologist at Maimonides Medical that they are blind or that you are a Center in New York City. He recalls a fruitcake. “For society to work, we sitcom-worthy situation with friends need the people who are ultra-relaxed, who traveled a lot and always brought but we also need the worrywarts,” him back a gift. “I’m not saying it was says Howard Forman, an assistant

ILLUSTRATIONS BY ISTVAN BANYAI rd.com | 06•2015 | 81 IS IT JUST ME? professor of psychiatry at Albert An explanation, even one that sounds Einstein College of Medicine. The bizarre or frightening, feels more sat- worriers are the conspiracy theorists— isfying than no explanation at all. folks who won’t rest till they put the pieces together. SMELLS THAT EVERYONE ELSE Such folks can go off the deep end, SEEMS TO FIND AWFUL, I LOVE! of course, and you don’t necessarily Wet paint! Gasoline! Even (can want to sit next to one of them on a I admit it here?) the smell of dirty plane. But they can also go off and socks—they sometimes smell like discover that the NSA has been lis- roasted nuts. Am I wired wrong? tening to our phone calls—an idea that would have sounded completely paranoid before Edward Snowden There’s a bell curve to all experi- revealed that it’s true. ences, including how things smell to Our world is complex. It is filled us, says Dr. Reiss. That means some with things we’ll never understand. people are always going to be more Looking for a conspiracy is a way sensitive to certain odors, loving or to gain a little sense of power, says hating them. David M. Reiss, MD, a psychiatrist in But beyond that, smells are like San Diego: It feels like you understand songs: intensely evocative. The olfac- what’s happening, even if others don’t. tory nerves go directly from the nose

SOME PEOPLE ARE SENSITIVE TO CERTAIN ODORS, LOVING OR HATING THEM.

82 | 06•2015 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST to the limbic system, which is the part with input from Francis Crick, Mau- of the brain that stores memories and rice Wilkins, and Rosalind Franklin— processes emotions. So if you fondly went on to prove that DNA is in fact a remember your mom taking care of double helix. you when you were sick, Vicks Vapo- But lest you feel terrible about all Rub may smell like heaven to you, as the Nobel Prizes you’ve missed out will dirty socks if you and your brother on because you were too lazy to grab used to play in the woods and come a pen, remember the Seinfeld episode home happy but stinky. The smell on just this issue. Jerry came up with brings back the feelings, without you a great joke in his dream, so he scrib- necessarily making the conscious bled it down. But the next morning, he connection between then and now. couldn’t read his writing. No one else By the same token, if you threw up could either. Was it a Nobel-worthy at your pizza party when you were six, joke? No. When he finally remem- one whiff of pepperoni could send bered it, he realized it wasn’t funny at you running from the room, even to all. Which struck us all as funny. this day … leaving more pizza for the rest of us. THE OLDER I GET, THE HARDER I FIND IT IS TO EDIT MYSELF. I ALWAYS FORGET THE DREAMS If someone in front of me is walk- IN WHICH I CAME UP WITH ing slowly, I have heard someone CLEVER IDEAS. My question is: mutter, “Move, already!” and it turns Were those ideas really brilliant? out to be me! Same thing in the Or did I just think so at the time? grocery line: “Wow, this is taking forever!” Is it normal to become crabbier with the years? When you’re asleep, your mind is relaxed, so thoughts float freely without worrying about your inner editor “It’s in the range of normal, but it won’t or the boundaries of logic, says Min- make you any friends,” says psycho- neapolis internist Archelle Georgiou, therapist Tina Tessina, author of It MD. As a result, you can come up with Ends with You: Grow Up and Out of ideas you’d never have in your wak- Dysfunction. “We all have these same ing life, and some of these can be bril- thoughts, but you need to practice liant. In 1953, James Watson dreamed putting a lock on your lips so they of two intertwined snakes (or, some don’t tumble out.” say, a double-sided spiral staircase) That lock is called social inhibi- that made him picture a double helix. tion. Little kids have to develop it— This was pretty key, since he—along that’s why they’ll tell a stranger in the

rd.com | 06•2015 | 83 IS IT JUST ME? elevator, “Wow, you’re fat!”—and in I RENTED THE FAULT IN OUR STARS older people, it can begin to neurolog- AND DIDN’T CRY. That’s right: ically ebb away. That’s why they may I’m the earthling who did not tell a stranger in the elevator, “Wow, cry at that movie. I told a friend you’re fat!” who told everyone else, and now But another reason older folks may they’re actually mad at me. sound impatient is simply that they are. They see time is slipping away. When we have only so many years left Somehow (How? How?) you were not on this mortal coil, “we don’t neces- moved to tears by the plucky, funny, sarily want to spend them behind cute, courageous, cancer-doomed someone taking forever to choose a kids in that movie? Well, don’t feel too head of lettuce,” says psychologist bad. There must’ve been someone Hilfer. “So shouting, ‘That one’s good!’ else, somewhere, who sat through it is not unusual.” stone-faced. Maybe.

DIDN’T CRY AT THAT MOVIE? IT MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOUR PAST.

84 | 06•2015 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST

Actually, there are a bunch of rea- Animals are lovable, and they don’t sons a person might not cry at a talk back. This gladdens any heart, particular tearjerker, says therapist especially one that’s lonely. So don’t Tessina. Maybe the movie reminded feel bad about being a squirrel lady— you of something so close to home or gent. You just may also want to find that you’re holding it in. “You may be some more humans to interact with. too overwhelmed to cry,” she says. It’s Upside: They respond kindly to being possible that something happened fed too. in your past that was so traumatic— losing your mom when you were little, I FEEL TERRIBLE IF I’M RUNNING say—that you never completely pro- LATE FOR A MEETING, but if cessed it. When you see something someone is late meeting up with similar and you have kept yourself from me, I understand that delays crying about the original event for so happen. Why am I harder on long, you might still be unable to cry. myself than on everyone else? Or maybe you see how you’re being manipulated and refuse to give in to a sob story. If so, you might consider a You are a “people pleaser,” says career in traffic enforcement. Friedemann Schaub, MD, PhD, author of The Fear & Anxiety Solution. I LOVE SQUIRRELS SO MUCH, “You hate to be rejected, you hate IT SCARES ME. I carry nuts in my to be judged, and you hate to upset pocket, and feeding them is often others,” he says. So you have come the high point of my day. It’s not up with a “survival pattern” to make like the rest of my life is so boring sure you don’t have to suffer any of or pathetic. those situations. That survival pattern includes making sure you are on time so that people don’t get mad at you. It “I know lots of people who carry soothes your anxiety. around treats for dogs,” says Hilfer. The reason it doesn’t bother you “Feeding squirrels is less common, when other people are a little late is but people have exceptionally strong that their tardiness doesn’t trigger bonds with animals. There’s a woman that same worry and fear. In fact, if who used to go to the park across they’re late, you get to be gracious the street every morning to throw and kind, which gives you a little self- bread crumbs to the pigeons. We all congratulatory lift. Feels good! hated her. We’d say, ‘Why are you And remember: While the phrase doing this?’ She’d say, ‘They need to people pleaser carries slightly door- eat.’ It gave her a purpose.” mat-ish connotations, being reliable

rd.com | 06•2015 | 85 IS IT JUST ME? and forgiving is hardly a bad quality. seven or eight, and no one knows In fact, says Albert Einstein College’s what triggers it. But if this feels like it Forman, it’s generally evidence of “a applies to you, Dr. Georgiou suggests very well-adjusted individual who will seeing a speech therapist, who will probably experience a lot more plea- try to slow down your rate of speech. sure from the world than your average This can be done by having the patient person who is not as forgiving.” So for- listen to a sentence spoken at a normal give yourself for being forgiving and rate on a tape and then repeat the same also a bit compulsively early. sentence. An electronic graph of the patient’s words is then “traced” over I’M MR. MALAPROP. I’m not an idiot, another graph of the sentence spoken and I’m not shy. But no matter what, at the normal rate, to make the differ- words tumble out of my mouth ence visual and obvious. With practice differently from when I thought slowing down and hyper-articulating of them. What’s that with up? every syllable, clutterers can declutter. Speech is a complex and rapid process. We produce up to 150 words a “You’re right, you’re not an idiot, Mr. minute, and multiple parts of the brain Malaprop, but you are likely a ‘clut- are involved, tasked with 1) the inten- terer,’ ” says Dr. Georgiou. Clutterers tion of what to say, 2) the planning of may keep interrupting themselves or what to say, and 3) the articulation revising what they’re saying as they of the sounds—all within millisec- go along. One sufferer described it as onds. This explains why speech blun- “feeling like 20 thoughts are explod- ders often occur among those who ing in my mind all at once, and I need speak a lot. So next time, try being to express them all.” a bit more understanding of that Cluttering usually starts around age gaffe-prone politician.

THE SECRET LIVES OF INANIMATE OBJECTS

Saw a guy buying guacamole AND an avocado. Clearly an attempt to threaten the avocado.

@DCPIERSON

I accidentally butt-dialed my proctologist, and they had a full conversation.

@TASTEFACTORY

86 | 06•2015 | rd.com Laugh Lines TOUGH QUESTIONS

At what age do you think Why is there so much pres- it’s appropriate to tell sure to spend Independence a highway it’s adopted? Day with other people? ZACH GALIFIANAKIS BETSY SALKIND

If con is the opposite of What are they planting to grow pro, then isn’t Congress the seedless watermelon? the opposite of progress? JERRY SEINFELD JON STEWART

What should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? GEORGE CARLIN

How come you never see a headline like “Psychic Wins Lottery”? JAY LENO

Nostalgia: How long’s that been around? BILL BAILEY JOEL SARTORE/GETTY IMAGES JOEL SARTORE/GETTY

rd.com | 06•2015 | 87 After her husband is murdered, Ao Evans is embraced by a community that hardly knew her NOT WITHOUT MY Neighbors

BY LINDA VACCARIELLO FROM CINCINNATI MAGAZINE

88 | 06•2015 | rd.com COMMUNITY

AT 5:53 P.M. ON JUNE 15, 2013, the security cameras at Cosmic Pizza in Hartwell, Ohio, just outside Cincinnati, recorded the four minutes that changed the lives of the Evans family: A customer enters the small carryout restaurant and places an order at the counter. The owner, Rich Evans, moves back to talk with the small woman in the food-prep area. AThe customer crosses behind the counter and pulls a gun. The woman throws herself in front of three tiny figures. Rich Evans breaks for the door. The gunman shoots and follows. NOT WITHOUT MY NEIGHBORS

Out of sight of video surveillance, the dad who, now, would never see them. end played out like this: Rich, shot But it soon became apparent that three times, stumbled into an adjoin- the family functioned in a way that ing yard—and one family’s nightmare was … different. Even with keys, Ao— became a community’s challenge. pronounced “O”—couldn’t have un- As the coroner’s office carried out locked the front door and disarmed its grim mission, an officer sat with the security system, because Rich Rich’s wife in a police cruiser and got had never shown her how. He’d never her statement. As the woman wept really needed to: The family went and nursed her youngest, someone everywhere together—including to asked her whom to call. Family? Cosmic, where the kids played in a Friends? Neighbors? back room each day while their par- “We don’t have anybody,” she ents worked. Ao didn’t use a phone; wailed. “No one.” Rich made all the calls. When Madison gave her an envelope of cash hastily RICH EVANS’S WIDOW—Ornuma collected that morning, Ao looked “Ao” Evans—was born in Thailand. baffled: Handling money was alien; She hadn’t spoken to her own rela- Rich did the shopping. tives in years and knew very little Police had broken a window to get about her husband’s. She didn’t have Ao and her children into the house Rthe name of anyone—not a friend or a the night before, so one neighbor neighbor—who might help sort things set about fixing it; another called the out. She also didn’t have a phone, a morgue to retrieve the keys that were driver’s license, or house keys. with Rich’s body. Among those who And then there was this: She didn’t showed up was Lisa McDonald. Like know her own address. Officers everyone else, she didn’t really know located the family’s house with the the family. But she knew how her help of Google Street View. community responded to tragedy. “I The next morning, neighbors went figured we’d do something like make to see Ao Evans. The shattered woman meals for them for a while,” she says. who opened the front door let them McDonald turned her attention in and answered their questions. “We to the kids—solemn eight-year-old were looking for clues about who the Jimmy; Zoey, a five-year-old with a face Evanses were,” says Margot Madison. as sweet as a pansy; and their sparrow There was a typed to-do list on the of a baby sister, Ashton, 18 months. fridge and institutional-size containers The children were well cared for and of supplies waiting to be lugged to the obviously bright. But when McDonald restaurant. There were also the hand- asked Jimmy what grade he was in, he drawn Father’s Day cards ready for a didn’t know how to answer: He wasn’t

90 | 06•2015 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST

enrolled in school. Then a friend pulled McDonald aside and filled her in on what was known about Ao’s situation. “She had no one. I couldn’t imagine what that was like,” McDon- ald says. She went to Ao, threw her arm around the sobbing woman’s shoul- ders, and said, “We’ll help you.” People pitched in, making funeral arrange- ments. Someone set up a Go Fund Me site for donations that ultimately collected more than $40,000. One neighbor bought Ao a cell phone and taught her how to use it; another showed her how Ao—with Zoey, Ashton, and Jimmy—is 35, but she often to grocery shop. Volun- tells people she’s 50, the age Rich was when he died. teers went through the house, looking for bills that needed found a sponsor to pay their tuition for to be paid, tracking down birth the coming year. certificates for the children, and Wan Lindquist, owner of a Thai scouring drawers for anything that restaurant, took on the job of check- looked legally significant. Dawn ing Ao’s immigration status. The news Murray, a former community coun- wasn’t good: Ao said that Rich had cil president, took over the family’s paid a lawyer in San Francisco to take finances, since Ao had never written a care of getting her a green card, but check and didn’t understand banking. the lawyer had absconded with the McDonald, who worked in the caf- money. Attorney Matt Wagner took eteria at a private school, talked with her case pro bono. the principal about Zoey and Jimmy. All this help meant that a woman

ALL PHOTOS: MICHAEL WILSON MICHAEL WILSON ALL PHOTOS: He agreed to enroll the children and who had lived a very private existence

rd.com | 06•2015 | 91 NOT WITHOUT MY NEIGHBORS

now found herself explaining her life— pizza with great crust was a lifesaver and her marriage. It turns out, her for fast meals. And Rich—almost a present predicament may have a bit to cartoon in his white jacket and chef’s do with another death—this one years toque—seemed like the kind of gre- ago and miles away. garious guy you’d expect behind the counter. “He really played it up,” AO WAS NAMED AFTER HER OLDER recalls one customer. “He was de- sister, a three-year-old who had died in lighted to serve you his pizza.” a flood in her home province in south- Yet Rich remains a mystery. His ern Thailand. When Ao was born soon sister, Doris Lanphear, describes a after, her parents not only used the childhood that would have made Asister’s name but “gave” Ao the same Dickens weep. Abandoned by their birthdate: They enrolled the little girl, mother as toddlers and raised by a then three, in school when the dead corrosive grandmother and an alco- child would have been six. Belittled for holic father, Lanphear recalls, the two talking like a baby, humiliated when of them were parceled out to a string she soiled her pants, she ping-ponged of indifferent relatives on weekends. between aggression and withdrawal. She says that her brother scrapped his By 14, she was finished with school. way through school (“He got kicked The one bright spot in her days was out a lot”), vocational training, and a Thai kickboxing, a kind of combat that stint in juvenile detention. trains a fighter to become a ferocious In his own way, Rich Evans was windmill of feet, knees, elbows, and trying to be an outstanding husband fists. With boxing, she says, “I didn’t and father. When the Evanses weren’t need to talk.” working, they did things together. It was at a kickboxing match that Summer evenings, after Cosmic was she met Rich Evans, a visitor to Thai- closed for the day, they went to amuse- land. He was intrigued by how this ment parks; other times, they’d turn on small woman ended up in such a music and have goofy dance parties in brutal sport. They became friends. He the living room. Rich loved to dress the seemed to understand the deep pain kids up and take them all out to eat. If behind her silences, and he wanted their clannishness was ever a problem, to take care of her. Rich took her to he didn’t seem to notice. His children the United States on a fiancée visa didn’t have friends; his wife didn’t in 2006, and in 2009, they opened know a neighbor to ask for a cup of Cosmic Pizza. sugar. But they had each other. In this working-class neighborhood Ao knows that some people are criti- of busy families, the red-, white-, and cal of the things Rich did—how do you green-striped building that turned out not give your wife a house key? But she

92 | 06•2015 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST wants them to understand that he was JUNE 14, 2014, ON THE SUNNY, BALMY a good man and a good father and that day that would have been Rich Evans’s even if their family life was not like 51st birthday, his family gathers with other people’s, it was a happy one. 20 friends at his grave for a celebra- Last November, a friend set Ao up tion. There’s a tent and birthday bal- with a Facebook page, and now it’s loons, a decorated cake, and blankets possible to follow the trajectory of the on the ground for picnicking. Jim Emig, Evanses’ lives online—to learn that a gregarious restaurant owner who sat

When Ao posts on Facebook, the thanks come from “the Evans family living in this world.”

Dan Heidel fixed Zoey’s bike and that in the courthouse with Ao at the trial Ashton discovered Darlene Heidel’s for Rich’s alleged murderer (the case cookie jar; to see pictures from the is still pending), wraps a beefy arm zoo, the pool, the skating rink, the around Ao and kicks off the ceremony. driving lessons; and to view self- Everyone has a chance to say some- ies taken with the friends who made thing about the man so few of them these outings possible. knew. The messages all come down And also on Facebook, Ao is always to this: Rich Evans’s bequest to his thanking someone for something— neighbors was his family. And every- a visit, a DVD for the kids to watch, a one here feels honored to get that gift. kindness. Often when she posts her Then the picnic baskets come out, gratitude, the thanks come from “the and the cake is cut, kids play in the Evans family living in this world.” grass, and neighbors catch up. Ao It’s a curious expression, one that hands out curry she made. She’s been Ao explains this way: She was crazed expanding her repertoire beyond and desperate the morning after Rich’s pizza, mastering Thai and Indian cui- murder—genuinely suicidal, and sines. Maybe, Margot Madison says, worse. But then, out of nowhere, her Ao could do some catering. porch was full of people—strangers— As people eat and talk, a line of cars offering to help. moves past. Seeing the festivities, the If that hadn’t happened, she won- drivers must think it’s some uncon- ders, what would have become of ventional death observation. Or maybe them? But they are alive and living in they recognize it for what it is: friends this world. “I like to say that,” she says. and family living in this world.

NOTE: Ads were removed from this edition. Please continue to page 100. PERSONAL ESSAY

An innocent fitness fad turns into a seductive exercise in world domination Bit BY THE Fitbit BY DAVID SEDARIS FROM THE NEW YORKER

WAS AT an Italian restaurant, marvelous,” she said as our antipasto listening as a woman named plate arrived. Lesley talked about her house- Lesley pushed back her shirtsleeve, keeper, an immigrant who and as she reached for an olive, I earlier that day had cleaned the noticed a rubber bracelet on her left bathroom countertops with wrist. “Is that a watch?” I asked. Ia bottle of very expensive acne medi- “No,” she told me. “It’s a Fitbit. You cation: “She’s afraid of the vacuum sync it with your computer, and it cleaner and can’t read or write a word tracks your physical activity.” of English, but other than that, she’s I leaned closer, and as she tapped

100 | 06•2015 | rd.com the thickest part of it, a number of A few weeks later, I bought a Fit- glowing dots rose to the surface and bit of my own and discovered what danced back and forth. “It’s like a she was talking about. Ten thousand pedometer,” she continued. “But up- steps, I learned, amounts to a little dated, and better. The goal is to take more than four miles for someone my 10,000 steps per day, and once you do, size—five feet five inches. It sounds it vibrates.” like a lot, but you can cover that dis- I forked some salami into my tance in the course of an average day mouth. “Hard?” without even trying, especially if you “No,” she said. “It’s just a tingle.” have stairs in your house and a steady

ILLUSTRATION BY JOHN CUNEO rd.com | 06•2015 | 101 BIT BY THE FITBIT flow of people who regularly knock, Fitbit also helps satisfy my insane wanting you to accept a package or need for order at the same time. I’ve give them directions or just listen been cleaning the roads in my area for patiently as they talk about birds, three years now, but before the Fitbit, which happens from time to time I did it primarily on my bike and with when I’m home. my bare hands. That was fairly effec- I was traveling myself when I got my tive, but I wound up missing a lot. On Fitbit, and because the tingle feels so foot, nothing escapes my attention: a good, not just as a sen- potato chip bag stuffed sation but also as a mark into the hollow of a of accomplishment, I tree, an elderly mitten began pacing the airport Why isn’t caught in the embrace rather than doing what 12,000 steps of a blackberry bush, a I normally do, which is enough? mud-coated matchbook sit in the waiting area, at the bottom of a ditch. wondering which of the Because my You can tell where my many people around Fitbit thinks territory ends and the me will die first, and of I can do better. rest of the nation begins. what. I also started tak- Since getting my ing the stairs instead of Fitbit, I’ve seen all kinds the escalator and avoiding the moving of things I wouldn’t normally have sidewalk. come across. Once, it was a toffee- “Every little bit helps,” my old friend colored cow with two feet sticking out Dawn, who frequently eats lunch of her. I was rambling that afternoon while Hula-Hooping, said. She had a with my friend Maja, and as she ran to Fitbit as well and swore by it. To peo- inform the farmer, I marched in place, ple like Dawn and me, people who are envious of the extra steps she was get- obsessive to begin with, the Fitbit is a ting in. Given all the time I’ve spent in digital trainer, perpetually egging us the country, you’d think I might have on. During the first few weeks that I seen a calf being born, but this was a had it, I’d return to my hotel at the end first for me. The biggest surprise was of the day, and when I discovered that how unfazed the expectant mother was. I’d taken a total of, say, 12,000 steps, For a while, she lay flat on the grass, I’d go out for another 3,000. panting. Then she got up and began “But why?” my partner, Hugh, asked grazing, still with those feet sticking out. when I told him about it. “Why isn’t “Really?” I said to her. “You can’t go 12,000 enough?” five minutes without eating?” “Because,” I told him, “my Fitbit Around her were other cows, all of thinks I can do better.” whom seemed blind to her condition.

102 | 06•2015 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST

“Do you think she knows there’s a it to 30,000 steps and started moving baby at the end of this?” I asked Maja farther afield. “We saw David in Arun- after she’d returned. “A woman is told del picking up a dead squirrel with what’s going to happen in the delivery his grabbers,” the neighbors told Hugh. room, but how does an animal inter- “We saw him outside Steyning roll- pret this pain?” ing a tire down the side of the road”; I thought of the first time I had a “… in Pulborough dislodging a pair of kidney stone. That was in New York, Y-fronts from a tree branch.” Before in 1991, back when I had no money or the Fitbit, I was in for the evening after health insurance. All I knew was that I dinner. Now, though, as soon as I’m was hurting and couldn’t afford to do finished with the dishes, I walk to the anything about it. The night was spent pub and back, a distance of 3,895 steps. moaning. Then I peed blood, followed There are no streetlights where we by what looked like a piece of gravel live, and the houses I pass at 11 p.m. from an aquarium. are either dark or dimly lit. I often hear What might I have thought if, after owls and the flapping of woodcocks seven hours of unrelenting agony, a disturbed by the beam of my flashlight. creature the size of a full-grown cou- gar emerged, inch by inch, and started LOOK BACK on the days I av- hassling me for food? Was that what eraged only 30,000 steps and the cow was going through? Did she think, Honestly, how lazy can think she was dying, or had instinct you get? Now I’m up to 60,000, somehow prepared her for this? Iwhich is 25½ miles. Walking that dis- When I returned to the field several tance at the age of 57, with completely weeks later, I saw mother and child flat feet while lugging a heavy bag of standing side by side, not in the lov- garbage, takes close to nine hours— ing way that I had imagined but more a big block of time, but hardly wasted. like strangers waiting for the post I listen to audiobooks and podcasts. I office to open. Other animals I’ve seen talk to people. I learn things: the fact, on my walks are foxes and rabbits. I’ve for example, that in the days of yore, stumbled upon deer, stoats, a hedge- peppercorns were sold individually hog, and more pheasants than I could and, because they were so valuable, possibly count. to guard against theft, the people who Back when Maja and I saw the cow, I packed them had to have their pock- was averaging 25,000 steps, or around ets sewed shut. ten and a half miles per day. Trousers At the end of my first 60,000-step day, that had grown too snug were suddenly I staggered home with my flashlight, loose again, and I noticed that my face knowing that I’d advance to 65,000 was looking a lot thinner. Then I upped and that there would be no end to it

rd.com | 06•2015 | 103 BIT BY THE FITBIT until my feet snap off at the ankles. a treadmill, where it served no greater Then it’ll just be my jagged bones purpose. So it’s not like we’re really stabbing into the soft ground. Why is it that much alike. Is it? some people can manage a thing like a In recognition of all the rubbish I’ve Fitbit, while others go off the rails and collected since getting my Fitbit, my allow it to rule, and perhaps even ruin, local council named a garbage truck their lives? after me. While marching along the roadside, I Then my Fitbit died. I was devas- often think of a TV show tated when I tapped it that I watched a few and the little dots failed years back—Obsessed, to appear. Yet I felt a it was called. One of In recognition great sense of freedom. the episodes was de- of all the It seemed that my life voted to a woman who rubbish I’ve was now my own again. owned two treadmills But was it? Walking 25 and walked like a ham- collected, a miles, or even running ster on a wheel from garbage truck up the stairs and back, the moment she got up was named suddenly seemed point- until she went to bed. after me. less, since, without the Her family would eat steps being counted dinner, and she’d ob- and registered, what serve them from her vantage point use were they? I lasted five hours beside the table, panting as she asked before I ordered a replacement, her children about their day. I knew express delivery. It arrived the follow- that I was supposed to scoff at this ing afternoon, and my hands shook woman, to be, at the very least, en- as I tore open the box. Ten min- tertainingly disgusted, the way I am utes later, my new master strapped with the people on Hoarders, but securely around my left wrist, I was out instead I saw something of myself in the door, racing, practically running, her. Of course, she did her walking on to make up for lost time.

WHAT’S RED AND BLUE AND FLIES ALL OVER?

I don’t think Spider-Man knew what a spider was when he made his costume.

@WEISMANJAKE

104 | 06•2015 | rd.com SPONSORED CONTENT

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POVERTY, CRIME, AND VIOLENCE ARE DOWN. FREEDOM AND DEMOCRACY ARE UP. GUESS WHAT … THE WORLD IS NOT FALLING APART

BY STEVEN PINKER & ANDREW MACK FROM SLATE.COM

106 | 06•2015 | rd.com PHOTOGRAPHS BY ADAM VOORHES

THE WORLD IS NOT FALLING APART

IT’S A GOOD TIME TO BE A PESSIMIST. ISIS, Ebola, women-beating athletes, deadly cops and gangs—who can avoid the feeling that things are falling apart and the center cannot hold? But as troubling as the headlines have been, they deserve a second look. It’s hard to believe that we are in greater danger today than we were during the two world wars, the nuclear confrontations of the Cold War, or the eight- year war between Iran and Iraq that threatened to choke the flow of oil through the Persian Gulf and cripple the entire global economy.

So how can we get less hyperbolic terrorist attacks, are riveting dramas about the state of the world? Don’t but, outside of war zones, kill rela- look to daily media. News is about tively small numbers of people. As the things that happen, not things that political scientist John Mueller points don’t happen. We never see a reporter out, in most years, bee stings, deer saying to the camera, “Here we are, collisions, ignition of nightwear, and live from a country where a war has other mundane accidents kill more not broken out” or a city that has not Americans than terrorist attacks. been bombed or a school that has not The only sound way to appraise the been shot up. As long as violence oc- state of the world is to count: How curs somewhere, there will be enough many violent acts has the world seen incidents to fill the news. And since compared with the number of oppor- our minds estimate probability by the tunities, and is that number going up ease with which we can recall exam- or down? As Bill Clinton likes to say, ples, we will perpetually perceive that “Follow the trend lines, not the head- we live in dangerous times. lines.” When we do, we can see that We also have to avoid being fooled the trend lines are more encouraging by randomness. Entropy, pathogens, than a news watcher would guess. and human folly are always present in our lives, and it’s statistically certain HOMICIDE that disasters will frequently overlap Worldwide, about five to ten times with one another rather than space as many people die in police-blotter themselves evenly in time. But to read homicides as die in wars, and in most significance into any such clusters is of the world, the rate of homicide has to succumb to primitive thinking and been falling. The American crime cosmic conspiracies. decline of the 1990s, which pla- Finally, we need to be mindful of teaued at the start of this century, orders of magnitude. Some types of resumed in 2006; defying the conven-

violence, like shooting rampages and tional wisdom that hard times lead to ROBIN FINLAY PROP STYLIST:

108 | 06•2015 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST BEE STINGS AND entire country has spiraled OTHER ACCIDENTS KILL into lawlessness, but two MORE AMERICANS factors can help dispel that THAN TERRORISTS DO. notion. One is that the 21st- century spike has not undone the massive reduction in homicide that Mexico has enjoyed since 1940. The other is that what goes up often comes down, so the rate of Mexi- can homicide has declined in each of the past two years. Other notoriously dangerous regions, from Colombia to South Africa, have also expe- violence, it continued dur- rienced significant turnarounds. Many ing the subprime mortgage criminologists believe that a worldwide crisis of 2008 and through reduction in homicide by 50 percent the present. in the next three decades is a feasible England, Canada, and most target for the upcoming round of goals other industrialized countries have to be set by the United Nations. also seen their homicide rates fall in the past decade. Among the 88 countries VIOLENCE with reliable data, 67 have shown a AGAINST WOMEN decline in the past 15 years. Although The media coverage of athletes who numbers for the entire world exist only have assaulted their wives or girl- for this millennium and include esti- friends and of episodes of rape on mates for countries that do not collect college campuses has suggested to data, the trend appears to be down- some observers that we are witnessing ward, from 7.1 homicides per 100,000 a surge of violence against women. people in 2003 to 6.2 in 2012. But victimization surveys from the The global average, to be sure, con- U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics show ceals many regions with horrific rates the opposite: Rates of rape or sexual of killing, particularly in Latin America assault and of violence against inti- and sub-Saharan Africa. But even in mate partners have been declining those hot zones, it is easy for the head- for decades, and they’re now a quarter lines to mislead. For example, the gory, or less of their peaks in the past. Yes, drug-fueled killings in parts of Mexico far too many of these crimes still take can create an impression that the place, but we should be encouraged

rd.com | 06•2015 | 109 Victimization of Children In the United States, 1993–2012 1,000 by the fact that a heightened Violent concern about violence 800 victimization against women has brought at school 600 about progress—and that it Physical abuse can lead to greater progress. 400 While few other countries 200 compile comparable data, Sexual abuse there is reason to believe that 0 19901995 2000 2005 2010 similar trends could be found elsewhere. In 1993, the UN Source: Physical & sexual abuse: National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System, analyzed by Finkelhor, 2014, in “Trends in General Assembly adopted a Child Welfare,” Presentation at the Carsey Institute Policy Series, March 31, 2014. Rates are calculated per 100,000 children Declaration on the Elimination younger than 18. Victimization at school: Bureau of Justice Statistics. Rates are of Violence Against Women, calculated per 10,000 children between 12 and 17. and polling data show wide- Rate of Deaths in Genocides and spread support for women’s Other Mass Killings, 1989–2013 rights, even in countries with the most antiquated practices. Many 10.0 nations have implemented laws and public awareness campaigns to 1.0 reduce rape, forced marriage, genital mutilation, honor killing, domestic violence, and wartime atrocities. 0.1 Deaths per 100,000 people (log scale) VIOLENCE 0.0 AGAINST CHILDREN 1988 1993 1998 2003 2008 2013 Similarly, news reports on school pcr.uu.se/research/ucdp/datasets/ucdp_onesided_ violence_dataset/ shootings, abductions, cyberbullying, census.gov/population/international/data/worldpop/ table_population.php and sexual and physical abuse can make it seem as if our children are living in increasingly perilous times. But the data say otherwise: Kids are undoubtedly safer than they were in the past. In a review of the literature on violence against children in the United States that was published earlier this year, sociologist David Finkelhor and his colleagues reported that “of 50 trends in exposure examined, there were 27 significant declines and

110 | 06•2015 | rd.com CHARTS BY BRYAN CHRISTIE DESIGN READER’S DIGEST no significant increases between 2003 200,000 deaths), Sudan (1983–2002; and 2011. Declines were particu- one million), Afghanistan (1978–2002; larly large for assault victimization, one million), Indonesia (1965–1966; bullying, and sexual victimization.” 500,000), Angola (1975–2002; one Similar trends can be seen in other million), Rwanda (1994; 500,000), industrialized countries, and inter- and Bosnia (1992–1995; 200,000). By national declarations have made the keeping these numbers in mind when reduction of violence against chil- considering the current horrors in Iraq dren into a global issue. (2003–2014; 150,000 deaths) and Syria (2011–2014; 150,000), we can see that GENOCIDE AND they are not signs of a dark new era. OTHER MASS KILLINGS Overall, the trend lines for geno- OF CIVILIANS cide and other civilian killings point The recent atrocities committed by sharply downward. Although com- ISIS, together with the ongoing killing parisons to previous decades are of civilians in Syria, Iraq, and central imprecise due to the crudeness of the Africa, have fed a terrifying narrative available statistics, the numbers sug- in which the world has apparently gest that the rate of civilian killings learned nothing from the Holocaust has dropped by about three orders and genocides continue unabated. of magnitude since the decade af- But even the most horrific events of ter World War II and by four orders the present must be put into histori- of magnitude since the war itself. In cal perspective. other words, the world’s civilians are By any standard, the world is no- several thousand times less likely where near as genocidal as it was to be targeted today than they were during its peak in the 1940s, when Nazi, 70 years ago. Soviet, and Japanese mass murders, together with the targeting of civilians WAR by all sides in World War II, resulted in Researchers who study war and peace a civilian death rate of 350 deaths per distinguish “armed conflicts,” which 100,000 people per year. Even though kill as few as 25 soldiers and civilians the ruthless actions of Joseph Stalin caught in the line of fire in a year, from in the Soviet Union and Mao Zedong “wars,” which kill more than 1,000. in China kept the global rate between They also separate “interstate” con- 75 and 150 through the early 1960s, it flicts, which pit the armed forces of has been falling ever since. two or more states against one another, At the same time, the decline has from “intrastate” or “civil” conflicts, been punctuated by periodic spikes which pit a state against an insurgency of mass killings: Biafra (1966–1970; or separatist force, sometimes with the

rd.com | 06•2015 | 111 Number of Armed Conflicts and Wars, 1946–2014 armed intervention of an external state. In a his- 50 Armed conflicts torically unprecedented (> 25 battle 40 deaths/year) development, the num- 30 ber of interstate wars has Wars (> 1,000 battle plummeted since 1945, and 20 the most destructive kind of deaths/year) war—in which great powers 10 or developed states fight one 0 another—has vanished alto- Interstate wars gether. The last one was the (> 1,000 battle deaths/year) Korean War. 1950 1960 1970 1980 1990 2000 2010

The end of the Cold War also Source: Uppsala Conflict Data Project/Peace Research Institute of saw a steep reduction in the Oslo Armed Conflict Dataset number of armed conflicts of all kinds, including civil wars, and Rate of Battle Deaths in recent events have not reversed Armed Conflicts, 1946–2013 20.0 this trend. In 2013, there were 33 Battle deaths state-based armed conflicts in the per 100,000 people 15.0 world, a number that falls within the range of the past dozen years 10.0 and well below the high of 52 that 5.0 occurred shortly after the end of the Cold War. The Uppsala Conflict 0.0

Data Program has also noted that 1950 1960 1970 1980 1990 2000 2010 2013 saw the signing of six peace “Updated Statistical Analysis of Documentation of Killings in the agreements, two more than in the Syrian Arab Republic”; Human Rights Data Analysis Group previous year. But another recent development in wars is less positive: The number of wars jumped from four in 2010 (the lowest total since the end of World War II) to seven in 2013. These wars were fought in Afghani- stan, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Iraq, Nigeria, Pakistan, South Sudan, and Syria. Data for 2014 won’t be available until later in 2015, but we already know that four new wars

112 | 06•2015 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST have broken out since January 2014, the most destructive of all conflicts, leading to a total of 11. This jump— are all but obsolete. Might there be a the steepest since the end of the Cold better way to understand the world? War—will bring us to the highest We can start by ignoring the talk- number of wars since 2000. ing heads and columnists who are The worldwide rate of battle deaths maximizing the impression of may- through 2013 has also risen, mostly hem and brushing up on our history because of the Syrian civil war. Even instead. Looking at events of the so, this increase must be kept in per- recent past can enable us to put the spective. While it has undone the events of the present in an intelligible progress of the past dozen years, context. We could also consult the anal- the rates are still well below those of yses of data on violence that are now the 1990s and nowhere near the levels just a few clicks away. of the 1940s through the 1980s. By focusing on the actual evidence rather than on the inflammatory head- LOOK FOR THE HOPE, lines, we’d see many benefits. It would NOT THE HYPE inform and calibrate our national and As we can see from the different facts international responses to the magni- and figures, the world is not fall- tude of the dangers facing us and also ing apart. The kinds of violence to limit the influence of terrorists, school which most people are vulnerable— shooters, and other perpetrators of homicide, rape, child abuse—are in violence. In doing so, we could dispel steady decline in most of the world. foreboding and reawaken, again, the Wars between states, which are by far hope of the world.

THE SEDENTARY LIFE

I like to throw food parties. That’s where you throw a party and invite only food.

ESTHER POVITSKY, comedian

My Internet is down at home right now. I guess my neighbors forgot to pay their bill again.

NICK THUNE, comedian

Source: Comedy Central

rd.com | 06•2015 | 113 menacing, unlike life onthe rest oftheislandthen.” The color palette isoptimistic, andthewaves are alluringrather than of anorchestra leaderusinghis baton delicately butwithprecision. subsistence fishing. The way eachfishermanholdshisrod isreminiscent Sri Lanka was torn by war whenhe madethisphotograph documenting “I edited Steve’s stories for about20years at Chosen by John Echave, Photograph McCurry by Steve executive producer at Blue Lagoon Productions at BlueLagoon producer executive National Geographic .

MAGNUM PHOTOS PHOTO OF LASTING INTEREST

rd.com | 06•2015 | 115

SLICE OF LIFE

These fragile baby hummingbirds needed a mom. Instead, they got me. HANDLE WITH CARE BY SY MONTGOMERY FROM THE BOOK BIRDOLOGY

WHEN THEY WERE FOUND, the infants were nearly dead. Hatching from eggs the size of navy beans, they were the size of bumblebees, naked and blind. That’s when my friend Brenda Sherburn, who specializes in raising orphaned baby hummingbirds, received a call for help, and I flew from New Hampshire to California to pitch in.

Even for a mother hummingbird, roadrunners, opossums, and dragon- raising nestlings is a daunting job. flies eat them. They can die if they’re She leaves the nest up to 200 times too cold or too hot. They will certainly a day to gather food. And for a hu- die if left alone, but an inept surrogate man, raising baby hummingbirds is a mother can kill them easily, too, as positively Herculean task—as I soon Brenda explained. found out. Every 20 minutes, from Carefully, she showed me how to dawn to dark, the babies need food. fill a syringe and thread a thin cath- That means catching hundreds of eter down the babies’ throats. I was fruit flies a day, freezing them, crush- petrified. Nothing seems as delicate ing them with a mortar and pestle, as baby hummingbirds: You can and mixing the mush with a special damage their feathers by touching nectar supplemented with a precise them; their feet are as thin as thread. blend of vitamins, enzymes, and oils. I feared I would hurt their mouths or This food spoils easily, and if spoiled, that they’d choke on their food. But it can kill the baby birds. worse can happen, Brenda told me: In fact, it seems everything can “If you overfeed them,” she said, “they kill them. In the wild, yellow jackets can actually pop.” And if you miss can sting them to death. Hawks, jays, a feeding, they can starve. Brenda set

ILLUSTRATION BY CHRIS BUZELLI rd.com | 06•2015 | 117 HANDLE WITH CARE a timer so there would be no risk we’d When the Spanish first saw hum- forget. For weeks, these inch-and-a- mingbirds in the New World, they half-long baby birds ruled our days. called them resurrection birds—surely, Brenda is a professional artist, but something this shining and perfect she couldn’t work on her sculptures died each night and was reborn in the or pastels, nor could I write. In our morning. Their name captured the 20-minute snippets between feed- gift that working with these nestlings ings, we could never fit in a workout gave to me: They allowed me a hand at the gym or a long in resurrection. If they phone call to a friend. lived, they would go on Before breakfast, one of to even greater miracles. us ground coffee beans WHEN I SAW These nestlings turned while the other did fruit THE TINY BIRD out to be Allen’s hum- flies. We gulped lunch. WHIR ITS mingbirds. The adult We interrupted each WINGS, I KNEW: males of this tiny species dinner at least twice to NOT ONLY perform a nuptial flight feed the little birds. COULD I FEED that, in terms of body “Everything stops for IT, BUT I’D lengths covered per the hummingbirds,” CHERISH THE second, bests the speed Brenda told me. That’s HONOR. of a space shuttle as it why it’s so hard to find screams toward Earth volunteers to care for through the atmosphere. them. I wondered: Could I commit to But all birds, of course, are mira- such a schedule? cles, and humans have known this for The next morning, I watched one millennia. We have looked to them of the babies stretch a membranous as oracles. Our hearts soar on their wing to preen. Tissue paper is armor wings and their songs. Even the tini- in comparison. And then, before my est bird can teach us that life is larger astonished eyes, the tiny creature than humankind alone. So each time stood up in its nest and whirred its the timer buzzed, signaling another wings with concentrated ferocity. How feeding, I came to understand that can this bird summon a resting heart life wasn’t stopping for the humming- rate of 500 beats a minute, revving birds; each feeding instead offered to 1,500 times a minute when, one a chance to begin life anew. This is day, God willing, this gossamer being the lesson birds teach us. Every day, we conquers the sky? Then I understood: can witness miracles. Each day, we can Not only could I do this, but it was an participate in resurrection, in mend- honor I’d cherish. ing the broken world.

118 | 06•2015 | rd.com IN A WORLD OF TRANSPARENCY, IRONICALLY, WE CANNOT SHARE WITH YOU ALL THE BENEFITS OF LYPO-SPHERIC™ VITAMIN C But we CAN point you in the right direction

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InternetBY CIENNA MADRID FROM THE STRANGER

120 | 06•2015 | rd.com PHOTOGRAPHS BY KENJI TOMA CULTURE

One woman’s online odyssey after a dangerous character befriends her— and lies about the unthinkable

ALERIE WAS SITTING on her boyfriend’s bed on the morning of September 16, 2010, when she detected what 12 percent of women will face in their lifetime: a tiny lump in her breast. She didn’t panic. She was onlyV 36, ate organic foods, and biked 100 miles a week, and her annual breast exam had been lump-free only four months earlier. MUNCHAUSEN BY INTERNET

But an ultrasound confirmed what She decided to call her Tumblr blog Valerie had felt: a pebble-size mass CatsNotCancer. Over the next year, that turned out to be stage 2A, HER2+ Valerie documented her daily ups and invasive ductal carcinoma—an downs: how she named her breasts aggressive form of breast cancer that and the cancerous lymph node she requires chemotherapy to treat. would have removed and how she The mass was so small, her doctor shaved her hair for Locks of Love. said it was a miracle she’d noticed it. CatsNotCancer quickly gained more Then, “when he saw my lymph node, than 2,100 followers on Tumblr, and everything changed in the room,” Valerie took the time to respond to Valerie remembers. The cancer had everyone who left messages on her already spread to her left arm. blog looking for guidance or empathy. The following week was a blur of tests and scans, of calling relatives, Confiding About Cancer— crying, and adjusting to the abrupt And Rape new reality that she might die soon. That’s how she met Beth three months And if she did live, it could be with- later, in December 2010. out her breasts or the possibility of “She was a fellow blogger who ever getting pregnant. “I think that had introduced herself and said she was probably the hardest to hear— was going through treatment for that I could never have children,” lymphoma,” Valerie recalls. “I had just Valerie says. “I’ve always wanted to undergone my fourth round of chemo, have children.” and I was feeling really sick. It was an She was a relatively recent Seattle accomplishment to put up a blog post transplant, so her diagnosis was com- during the day.” pounded by the fact that most of her Nevertheless, she responded to loved ones were across the country. Beth’s overture, and for the first week, “I really didn’t have an immediate their communication was casual. The support system beyond my boyfriend 19-year-old Wisconsin native, who ap- and my cats,” she says. “The isolation peared healthy in photographs, talked gets to you—you can’t get a hug over about her struggles with balancing the phone.” lymphoma treatments and college Which is why, only two days after classes (she was studying to become her diagnosis, Valerie began to blog a psychologist), and the two talked about her battle with cancer. She about their favorite TV show, Lost. wanted to keep her family informed Then one day, Valerie received about her treatment and, she hoped, a note from Beth via Tumblr that find support from someone going simply read, “Can you get pregnant

through the same struggle she was. while on chemo?” MARTELPREVIOUS STOCKLAND SPREAD: HAIR AND MAKEUP:PRO AT CHOI JANE MAC FOR

122 | 06•2015 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST

that a family member had abused her and her six-year-old cousin. Beth sounded young and painfully shy, and yet “she was almost casual “The about the whole thing,” Valerie says. isolation “She was hesitant to even call what had happened rape.” In an e-mail gets to you— sent the day after their conversa- you can’t tion in December, Beth wrote, “Well, get a hug I guess it’s rape then because I did not want that at all. That word is so over the gross sounding to me. It makes me so phone,” angry. Like the whole thing is just says Valerie. gross, but secondly, I could have gotten really sick from that! Inconsid- erate.” Beth ended the e-mail with: “Blah, blah, rant over lol :).” It put Valerie on high alert. “I kept thinking inconsiderate is one of the last words I’d use to describe rape,” she says. Her skepticism grew when she received an e-mail from Beth that read, “Well … I am officially pregnant. It struck a chord. This is my worst nightmare. Horrible. “I wrote back and said, ‘Well, I can’t I want to die. I am mortified :(.” get pregnant while on chemo …,’ but I Mortified? admitted that I didn’t know her treat- Despite her growing suspicions, she ment and couldn’t know what she continued to e-mail Beth. was going through,” Valerie says. She “I was trying to keep an open mind,” urged Beth to contact her oncologist Valerie explains. “I’d known this girl immediately. Instead, Beth messaged only a few weeks, and it sounded like again, intimating that she’d gotten she had people in her life mistreat- pregnant after being raped. ing her. I just wanted to offer what “I immediately sent her my phone support I could.” number and personal e-mail address While Beth e-mailed daily up- and urged her to call me,” Valerie dates on her pregnancy—“Aborting says. Beth called within minutes, and it is what [my doctor] would recom- the two had their first phone conver- mend his daughter to do. He doesn’t

WARDROBE AND PROP STYLIST: PHILIP SHUBIN AND PROP STYLIST: WARDROBE sation, during which Beth explained think I could handle it mentally

rd.com | 06•2015 | 123 MUNCHAUSEN BY INTERNET or physically. Blah blah”—Valerie Munchausen sufferers don’t just contacted her own oncologist about shave their heads and say, “Look! It’s what she’d read on Beth’s blog. She cancer!” They alter medical records, remembers one post about Beth starve themselves, install catheters throwing up blood between classes and chemo ports, and even con- and then getting a hefty five-unit vince doctors to perform surgeries— blood transfusion before blogging anything to legitimize the fantasy of later in the day, which Valerie’s doc- their illness. If they fail in one effort, tor said was ridiculous. He also they are likely to try another hospital said that a patient with her type of or illness or audience. lymphoma would not have the energy “I’ve encountered two women to be at school full-time while under- who’ve lied to their doctors in order going treatment. to get mastectomies unnecessarily,” says Marc Feldman, MD, a professor of Enter a Second Illness psychiatry at the University of Alabama But Valerie didn’t confront Beth and the author of Playing Sick? “That’s with her suspicions. Instead, to pre- how desperate their need for hospital- serve her own health and sanity, she ization and love and attention is.” stopped answering Beth’s e-mails, A 2011 case report on Munchausen texts, and phone calls. “Her lying syndrome published in Innovations was so alien a concept that the idea in Clinical Neuroscience suggests that of outing her horrified me,” she says. roughly 9 percent of inpatients in ter- “Part of me thought, There’s some- tiary care (like cancer treatment) suffer thing wrong with her, and if she is from some form of factitious disorder, being abused, I don’t want to make a condition in which a person acts as if life harder on her.” In response to he or she has an illness by faking symp- Valerie’s silence, Beth went ballistic. toms. There are no reliable statistics Munchausen syndrome takes its on how many people suffer specifically name from an 18th-century Ger- from Munchausen syndrome—partly man noble who embellished tales because it’s hard to get accurate data of his military exploits to any- from people who lie pathologically— one who’d listen. But it wasn’t but the condition is considered rare. until 1951 that Baron Munchausen However, in 2000, Dr. Feldman became associated with one crop of coined a new term: Munchausen by pathological liars: people who go to Internet, which refers to a person incredible lengths to fake illness or with Munchausen who builds his or psychological trauma for the pur- her lies mostly through online inter- pose of attracting medical attention actions. Our natural lie detectors are and sympathy from others. muted online; we can’t rely on facial

124 | 06•2015 | rd.com READER’S DIGEST expressions and other physical cues than she won’t be home when I’m all for sensing falsehoods, which means alone and I will cry :( I’m so scared for we’re prone to fill in the blanks. her and for me :(.” Online, you can live out your decep- Despite Beth’s supposed hospi- tion without the fear of having your talization, she was still blogging lies challenged in person. And if frequently, so Valerie chose not to someone does eventually doubt your respond. Beth sent her a message story, you can simply log out and find another day: “Did I do something to a fresh group of sympathizers. offend you? If I did, I’m sorry.” “When I didn’t respond Trolling Beneath “Her lying to even that, she wrote an The Surface e-mail to apologize, and This kind of accessibility was so alien I thought she’d leave me makes Munchausen by a concept that alone,” Valerie says. “I Internet “way, way more the idea of honestly thought that was common than Munchau- the end of it.” sen ever was or could have outing her Valerie turned her been,” says Dr. Feldman. horrified me.” mind to more important And when those lies are things: She was a quarter exposed, Munchausen of the way through chemo by Internet sufferers are treatments, with one mas- likely to become online trolls who tectomy to come. In the process, she will anonymously attack the people found a virtual support group of ten they’ve gotten to know so well through women, all of whom were undergoing support groups. treatment like hers. They shared each Valerie’s silent treatment didn’t deter other’s daily consolations and deso- Beth from contacting her repeatedly, lations. Valerie also consulted with even obsessively, in early 2011. Then them on taunts she’d been receiving e-mails purportedly from Beth’s from a troll who called her childish, abused six-year-old niece started to hurtful names like Voldemort and show up in Valerie’s inbox. sent messages like “Everyone wants “I’m not supposed to be on Beth’s to watch you die.” computer or her e-mail, but I’m What could be done? Practically really scared :(,” one e-mail read. “She nothing, they told her. “It was a has to go to the hospital now and now harsh reminder that on the Inter- she has ambulance and if she dies net, you can say anything you want, and all this blood coming from her and you can pretend to be any- mouth again and why does this always one you want,” Valerie says. So she happen and the. If shes there fir ever filtered her Tumblr messages and,

rd.com | 06•2015 | 125 MUNCHAUSEN BY INTERNET

with her friends’ encouragement, with her in over a year. Why would tried to put the troll out of her mind. she want to hurt me like that?” When the hateful messages per- Valerie stopped blogging for good. sisted, she contacted Taryn Harper “You assume when you start treat- Wright of the Warrior Eli Hoax ment that your illness will be over,” Group, a blog that was launched to she says. “But when you’ve had untangle a hoax about a fictional cancer, it’s never over. It follows you child named Eli and his Internet- for the rest of your life. I can’t con- documented battle with cancer. trol that, but I can at least control the Since then, Wright has been dedi- impact this woman has on my life— cated to investigating other online and that’s what I intend to do. I intend deceptions. to lead a happy, full, healthy life,” one Using the sender’s IP address, better lived logged off. the pair tracked a year and a half’s worth of harassing messages back to Valerie finished her chemotherapy a single source: Beth. “I was floored,” treatment in November 2012 and Valerie says. “Our relationship lasted is currently in remission. Her blog only a few weeks. I hadn’t spoken CatsNotCancer remains inactive.

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$37.50 The price a Institution were New Jersey restaurant- seeking from goer thought he was Anheuser-Busch paying for a bottle and other alcohol of wine. The waitress companies. Their said it cost “thirty- complaint: The seven fifty,” but she businesses should had a different thirty- have warned them seven fifty in mind, that booze was as in the real price— addictive and that $3,750. In the end, it could lead to a the restaurant lowered life of crime. The the bill to $2,200. case was dropped. Source: nj.com Source: blog.oregonlive.com

$500 The starting bid for a pile of $680,000 The value of a three-story bird poop on eBay. An Illinois man home overlooking the Atlantic Ocean found droppings on his car’s wind- that a Missouri couple had built in shield that bore a resemblance to Flagler County, Florida. The five- the late Michael Jackson. So he auc- bedroom dream house includes tioned them off. “One of two things 5.5 bathrooms, a home theater, a will happen,” he told UPI. “It will go game room, and a screened-in pool. for an astronomical amount, or I’ll get It was also accidentally built on a nothing.” He got nothing. Source: upi.com vacant lot owned by someone else. Source: news-journalonline.com $1,900,000 The price that a portrait sold for at a New York City $160,000 The worth of the diamond auction house. The portrait was of that a UPS worker allegedly stole the late actress Bea Arthur … topless. while unloading an airplane. Source: nypost.com $20 The worth of the marijuana that $1,000,000,000 The sum five in- the above idiot traded the $160,000 mates at the Idaho State Correctional diamond for. Source: abc15.com

ILLUSTRATION BY NISHANT CHOKSI rd.com | 06•2015 | 127 CONTEST

We received over 4,800 entries for the 2015 Reader’s Digest Poetry Contest. We are pleased to present … Your Winning Poems GRAND PRIZE AFTER THE DEATH OF THEIR CHILD How the memory wormed its way into a photograph, leaving only paper. How he piloted ever-lengthening flights, taking blue comfort away from earth while she stayed home with the houseplants, their assemblage of books, the knowledge she could find tarragon, sage, any herb she’d ever need. How they said nothing, and loved each other even in another’s arms. How he steered forward, she stood still; he spoke, and she wrote it down. And they watched across miles, miles of marriage as the small voice between them grew up. (Inspired by the story of Charles and Anne Lindbergh) JENNY LAND, Peacham, Vermont

128 | 06•2015 | rd.com ILLUSTRATION BY KAGAN MCLEOD FIRST PRIZE ELLA: OF INFINITE POSSIBILITIES into silk, where they will Wide-eyed in wonder, spread like the routes and rivers on a Ella beholds the world. cartographer’s map. She “How old are you?” bathes her blistered, callused feet. her grandfather asks. Her bare legs are smudged She holds up five fingers. and soiled, her toenails the color of Ella traces her grandfather’s mosaic stone, her skin cracked and of wrinkles, leathery as old shoes. In the morning, touching his face with those same she crosses legs sheathed five fingers. with spiderwebs, arranging her skirt Seeing tears form in her dark, dark to hide the latest darning. eyes, JESSICA GOODY, he asks: “Why so sad?” Bluffton, South Carolina “Because you are shrinking.” “But I am not sad,” Grandfather THIRD PRIZE replies. THREE BABY FROGS “Why not?” Three baby frogs Grandma said not to “Because you are growing.” bother JACQUELINE SEEWALD, but we were only eight, and we Fort Lee, New Jersey couldn’t wait to teach them tricks so we dipped them in some paint. SECOND PRIZE We followed the little white dots into STOCKINGS the garden The delicate cobwebbed stockings where we found them resting by the are scarred with stitches. squash and leaning on the broccoli Fresh tears like flesh wounds gape and belly-up under the turnips with at kneecap and heel from remnants of our Picassos on their a day of pounding pavement, waiting tiny backs in soup kitchen queues. and scared to death they’d peed on us They are soaked in the tin washtub, and Grandma would see rinsed of the day’s grime and know somehow we were of sweat and silt and hung to dry, murderers, Jeannie and me. fluttering on the clothesline GWENDOLYN POLISZCZUK, or draped over a chair. The fading Madisonville, Kentucky luxury of silk, her last pair. Every night she attempts to repair the Thank you to all our entrants. damage, to weave them For more of our favorite submissions, into wearability. Runs are scratched visit rd.com/poetry.

rd.com | 06•2015 | 129 Home-cooked family memories start here! What kind of kitchen do you dream of when you think of the perfect space to whip up your family’s favorite dishes? Enter our Dream Kitchen Makeover sweepstakes and you could create a unique, inviting kitchen the entire family will enjoy! One lucky winner will receive the Grand Prize of a $50,000 kitchen makeover. Five Monthly 1st Prize winners will receive $500 gift cards. HURRY! Enter Now for your chance to win $50,000! tasteofhome.com/dreamkitchen

No purchase necessary to enter or win. Purchasing will not improve your chances of winning. Open to legal residents of the 50 U.S. & DC, 18+. See above URL for Ofﬁ cial Rules & complete entry details. Ends 8/31/15. Void where prohibited. If you do not wish to receive future sweepstakes or skill contest mailings from Reader’s Digest, write to: “Dream Kitchen Sweepstakes” (#751), PO Box 50005, Prescott, Arizona 86301-5005. WHO KNEW

13 Things Amusement Parks Won’t Tel l You

BY MICHELLE CROUCH

The best way to beat lines: and neutered by Disney because 1 Get there an hour early, walk they perform an important job: They in the minute it opens, and hit the help control the rodent population. coasters and other popular rides first. At Disney’s Magic Kingdom You may think you have privacy Park, every minute you arrive after 3 in a dark ride, but every inch the park opens is two extra minutes of every ride is monitored by security of waiting in line. cameras (including infrared ones that work in the dark). If you decide Every night, after the crowds are to get busy with your honey, not only 2 gone, more than 100 feral cats will the person in the control tower make themselves at home in Disney- see it, but he’ll call over all his bud- land. They’re quietly fed, vaccinated, dies to watch. ➸

ILLUSTRATION BY SERGE BLOCH rd.com | 06•2015 | 131 13 THINGS AMUSEMENT PARKS WON’T TELL YOU

No one really knows whether with a crying child inside, because 4 theme park rides are getting of the risk that he or she may try to safer or more dangerous, because no hop out at the last minute. single federal agency is responsible for collecting data or enforcing Our music changes during the standards. A 2013 study revealed 9 day. In the morning, when we that more than 93,000 children were want to get you deep into the park, treated in ERs for amusement park– we play fast marching music. But related injuries between 1990 and at the end of the day, we play slower- 2010—about 20 kids a day during tempo waltz music to encourage you the summer months. to linger and shop before you leave.

During long shifts, we sometimes Never, ever buy your tickets at 5 play “guest bingo” to pass the 10 the gate. Nearly every theme time. To win, we have to find specific park has an online discount. types of guests: a family dressed alike, someone wearing a cowboy Grab an umbrella, and come hat, or someone in a swimsuit he or 11when the forecast is iffy. Many she should not be wearing. people skip a visit on those days, so we have some of our shortest lines. A single spider can shut down 6 an entire ride. Of course we close Before you enter the park, rides for safety checks and when the 12 snap a picture of your parked weather is stormy, but every so often, car. You have no idea how much a big bug runs across a ride’s sensors time we spend helping guests find and triggers a shutdown too. their vehicles.

Even though some of the charac- It sounds simple, but if you 7 ter costumes have fans, it can get 13 want to stay out of the first aid very hot in there. That’s why each station, drink plenty of water, wear mascot is available for only short time sunscreen, and take breaks in the periods. So when our handlers say shade when it’s hot. Sun and heat it’s time for us to go, please don’t cause more injuries at theme parks ask us to take one more picture with than all other causes combined. little Johnny. It’s a safety issue. Sources: Former Walt Disney World cast member Robert Niles, editor of themeparkinsider.com; Len Testa, Stuck on the tracks? Chances programmer for touringplans.com and coauthor of the Unofficial Guides theme park series; and former and current are it’s a scared child. We’re not employees of Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio; Six Flags 8 Magic Mountain in Valencia, California; and Universal allowed to let a train leave the station Studios in Orlando, Florida

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These eight famous logos each hide a quirky message Behind the Design BY ANDY SIMMONS

FEDEX WHAT WE THOUGHT: Honestly, we thought it just read FedEx. WRONG! Look again, in the space between the E and the x. Yeah, it’s an arrow pointing forward, perhaps to suggest speedy delivery.

WIKIPEDIA WHAT WE THOUGHT: The Wiki- pedia people were so busy collecting information, they forgot to finish their logo. WRONG! The unfinished globe, made of puzzle pieces with characters from various languages, represents the “incomplete nature” of the company’s mission to be the go-to information portal—and the fact that a site built on user submissions can never be complete.

134 | 06•2015 | rd.com ILLUSTRATIONS BY JUDE BUFFUM BASKIN-ROBBINS WHAT WE THOUGHT: Who cares … it’s ice cream! WRONG! While stuffing our faces, we missed the 31 in the initials, as in the number of flavors the AMAZON company began offering in 1953— WHAT WE THOUGHT: The grin one for every day of the month. under the letters amaz depicts CEO Jeff Bezos smiling at all the mer- chandise his company is moving. WRONG! The arrow broadcasts the wide variety of stuff—from A to Z— to be had on Amazon.

SUN MICROSYSTEMS WHAT WE THOUGHT: A lot of U’s, as in, “U should buy Sun products.” WRONG! Turn the logo around, and the Sun is always there. APPLE WHAT WE THOUGHT: They ripped off the Bible, the bitten apple symbolizing the fruit from the tree of knowledge. WRONG! The designer made the bite mark for scale, so that a smaller logo would still look like an apple and not a cherry.

rd.com | 06•2015 | 135 WHO KNEW?

TOBLERONE WHAT WE THOUGHT: Mmmmm … a mountain of chocolate … WRONG! Hey, what’s that bear doing on the side of that mountain of chocolate? It’s the official symbol of the Swiss town of Bern, the original home of Toblerone.

DELL WHAT WE THOUGHT: The E was on its side because someone thought it looked nice. WRONG! Michael Dell announced that the goal of his company was to “turn the world on its ear.” So it’s been said he started with an E.

Sources: webdesignerdepot.com and wonderfulengineering.com

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The Most Stolen Social Security Number in History BY BRANDON SPECKTOR

THINK YOUR Social Security with only her coworkers’ teasing number is hard to protect in the about this newfound fame. But as digital age? Be thankful it’s not literally more people used her number for being given away with wallets. fraud, the FBI came knocking. She In 1936, the first Social Security had to explain that her identity was cards were issued to thousands literally being sold with wallets that of Americans through local post anybody could buy at Woolworth. offices. In 1938, the VP of a wallet- The New Yorker speculated in 1941 manufacturing company in New York that some people who’d purchased the thought it’d be a great idea to show wallets may have believed Whitcher’s how well his new wallets could SSN was truly their own, as the hold these cards. So he included in system was still so new. Others must every wallet a sample card imprinted have known better: At the ubiquitous with the number 078-05-1120—his number’s peak in 1943, the Social secretary Hilda Schrader Whitcher’s Security Administration estimates, actual Social Security number. Oops. 5,755 people were using it. Even though the sample was Eventually, the number was voided, half the size of a real card and and Whitcher was given a fresh one. emblazoned with the word specimen It’s thought that more than 40,000 across its face, shoppers started people have fraudulently used the adopting Whitcher’s number as their SSN “issued by Woolworth” since its

own. At first, Whitcher had to deal debut, some as recently as 1977. HALLEY RESOURCES FOR GUIDO-LAASKO SARAH PROP STYLIST:

142 | 06•2015 | rd.com PHOTOGRAPH BY CLAIRE BENOIST IT PAYS TO INCREASE YOUR Word Power

The challenge is on, Word Power fans! We canvassed the Reader’s Digest editors for their favorite words, and they answered the call in top linguistic form. Are you game? Answers on the next page.

BY EMILY COX & HENRY RATHVON

1. antediluvian (an-tih-duh-'loo-vee- 9. spelunking (spe-'luhnk-ing) n.— en) adj.—A: at dusk. B: nonalcoholic. A: racing on sleds. B: lifting weights. C: developed a long time ago. C: exploring caves. 2. bamboozle (bam-'boo-zuhl) 10. sanguine ('san-gwen) adj.— v.—A: get drunk. B: deceive. A: confident. B: melodic. C: of or C: get quickly out of control. relating to the sun. 3. blandish ('blan-dish) v.— 11. brouhaha ('brew-hah-hah) n.— A: coax with flattery. B: wave like A: group of witches. B: practical joke. a flag. C: tone down. C: uproar. 4. pellucid (puh-'loo-suhd) adj.— 12. obfuscate ('ahb-fuh-skayt) v.— A: easy to understand. B: frozen A: snatch away from. B: obscure. solid. C: innocent of a crime. C: set on fire. 5. debacle (dee-'bah-kuhl) n.— 13. deride (dih-'riyd) v.—A: laugh A: celebration. B: complete collapse. at contemptuously. B: dismount. C: utter surprise. C: exterminate. 6. blunderbuss ('bluhn-der-buhs) 14. pusillanimous (pew-sih-'la- n.—A: sloppy kiss. B: careless person. nuh-mus) adj.—A: catlike. C: pitfall. B: odorous. C: cowardly. 7. onomatopoeia (ah-neh-mah- 15. detritus (dih-'triy-tuhs) tuh-'pee-uh) n.—A: the use of words n.—A: unpaid bills. B: debris. whose sound suggests the sense. C: gap between two teeth. B: repetition. C: speech impediment. 8. dreadnought ('dred-not) n.— To play an interactive version of A: braid of hair. B: medieval criminal. Word Power on your iPad, download the C: the largest of its kind. Reader’s Digest app.

rd.com | 06•2015 | 143 WORD POWER Answers

1. antediluvian—[C] developed 9. spelunking—[C] exploring caves. a long time ago. The cobbler Years of geology research led Andy to used family-honored antediluvian adopt spelunking as a favorite hobby. methods to repair customers’ shoes. 10. sanguine—[A] confident. After 2. bamboozle—[B] deceive. studying the footprints, I am fairly Don’t let the smooth car salesman sanguine that our cat is responsible bamboozle you. for the mess in the kitchen. 3. blandish—[A] coax with flattery. 11. brouhaha—[C] uproar. The ump’s Tom Sawyer could blandish his pals call at home plate led to quite a into painting a whole fence for him. brouhaha with the Royals’ catcher and manager. 4. pellucid—[A] easy to understand. 12. obfuscate The physics professor had a knack for —[B] obscure. Could giving surprisingly pellucid lectures. these instructions possibly obfuscate the desk’s construction any further? 5. debacle—[B] complete collapse. 13. deride—[A] laugh at contemptu- The CFO took full responsibility for ously. Know-it-all Alex derided his the tech company’s financial debacle. little sister for entering the spelling 6. blunderbuss—[B] careless person. bee, but she got the last laugh after What kind of blunderbuss can’t even taking first place. remember to put the fire out before 14. pusillanimous—[C] cowardly. leaving camp? Bert Lahr played the pusillanimous 7. onomatopoeia—[A] the use of lion in The Wizard of Oz. words whose sound 15. detritus— suggests the sense. NOW IT’S YOUR TURN! [B] debris. Vinnie With on-screen What are your favorite photographed bursts like kapow, words? For part two of this the detritus of the original Batman challenge, in our October the city streets TV series was issue, we’ll highlight 15 for his abstract famous for its use reader suggestions—they essay. of onomatopoeia. can be anything from real stumpers you’ve mastered 8. dreadnought VOCABULARY — to ones with lilting pronun- RATINGS [C] the largest of its ciations you hold dear. Visit 9 & below: kind. That dread- rd.com/words by July 1 to Assistant editor nought of an SUV is submit your ideas. Game on! 10–12: Senior editor a real gas hog. 13–15: Editor in chief

144 | 06•2015 | rd.com Humor in Uniform

“Dear Diary, Incredible news! Unfortunately, it's all classified.”

MY SON WAS BORN while I was “HALT!” SHOUTED our drill serving abroad, so he was three instructor. He had noticed that, for before we met. When I got home, I the umpteenth time, a recruit kept decided it was time for a little father- going to his right on a left command. son bonding time. I bought him a Our instructor approached the toy razor and invited him to “shave” directionally challenged Marine with me. In the bathroom, I took and stomped on his left foot. “Now,” up my razor and started shaving. he said, “when I say ‘left,’ it’s the I looked around to see how my son one that hurts.” was doing. His foot was up on the WAYNE SCHROEDER, Milwaukee, Wisconsin side of the bathtub, and he was running the razor up and down Are you an Army spouse? Your funny his leg. So much for male bonding. story might be worth $100! Go to JAMES F. DAY, Prichard, West Virginia rd.com/submit or page 7 for details.

ILLUSTRATION BY MICK STEVENS rd.com | 06•2015 | 145 If You Were Exposed to, or Harmed by, ASBESTOS or ASBESTOS-CONTAINING Products Made, Distributed or Sold by THE FLINTKOTE COMPANY or FLINTKOTE MINES LIMITED, WůĞĂƐĞƌĞĂĚƚŚŝƐEŽƟĐĞŽĨsŽƟŶŐZŝŐŚƚƐĂŶĚ,ĞĂƌŝŶŐƚŽ ĐŽŶƐŝĚĞƌǁŚĞƚŚĞƌƚŽĂƉƉƌŽǀĞZĞŽƌŐĂŶŝǌĂƟŽŶ͘

TYPES OF PRODUCTS During the 1930s to the 1980s, products sold by The Flintkote Company and Flintkote Mines Limited (the “Debtors”) may have contained asbestos. These products could have included floor tile, roofing shingles, joint compound, cement pipe, asphalt and other products. Persons or entities exposed to, or harmed by, the Debtors’ asbestos or asbestos-containing products may have personal injury, wrongful death or other claims against the Debtors. You do not need to (i) have been diagnosed, (ii) have symptoms, or (iii) be impaired to be affected by the Plan. If you believe you may have been exposed to, or harmed by the Debtors’ products, you may be entitled to vote on the terms of the Reorganization. You should carefully read this notice and the important documents located at http://www.flintkotebankruptcy.com. PLAN OF REORGANIZATION The Debtors have filed for bankruptcy. On February 9, 2015, the Debtors filed a modified Joint Plan of Reorganization (the “Plan”) with the United States Bankruptcy Court for the District of Delaware (the “Bankruptcy Court”). The Plan includes the terms of a settlement reached between the Debtors and their former indirect parent company, Imperial Tobacco Canada Limited (“ITCAN”). The Plan has been jointly proposed by the Debtors, the Asbestos Claimants Committee and the Future Claimants Representative (collectively, the “Plan Proponents”). As background, the Plan is a modified version of a bankruptcy plan on which Debtors previously solicited votes in 2008 and 2009, and which was confirmed by the Bankruptcy Court on December 21, 2012 (the “Original Plan”). A document describing the Plan’s changes (the “Disclosure Supplement”), which the Bankruptcy Court approved on March 17, 2015, and a copy of the Plan itself and voting materials (a “Resolicitation Package”), has been mailed to known holders of claims against the Debtors or their lawyers. THE TRUST The Plan provides for a trust to be established to pay eligible asbestos personal injury claims against the Debtors (the “Trust”). The Plan states that all current and future holders of asbestos personal injury claims will be forever prohibited from asserting claims directly against the Debtors and other parties protected under the Plan, including ITCAN. Such persons can receive money only from the Trust. The Plan and the Disclosure Supplement have important additional details and are available at http://www.flintkotebankruptcy.com. SUPPLEMENTAL SETTLEMENT BAR ORDER

Under the Plan, ITCAN will also obtain protection from certain claims by a settlement bar order, which is described more particularly in the Plan and Disclosure Supplement. VOTING PROCEDURES

The Bankruptcy Court has issued an order describing who can vote on the Plan, how to vote, and how votes will be counted. The Disclosure Supplement has information that will help you decide whether and how to vote on the Plan if you are entitled to do so. Votes cast on the Original Plan will be counted as votes on the Plan, unless a holder changes such vote. If you voted on the Original Plan and do not wish to change your vote, you do not need to submit a ballot. If you did not vote on the Original Plan, you may obtain and cast a ballot, which would be subject to the Plan Proponents’ right to object. To be counted, a completed ballot must be received by the Voting Agent at the address below by 4:00 p.m. (prevailing Eastern time) on June 2, 2015. Any ballot received after that deadline will not be counted. Proof of an asbestos personal injury or wrongful death claim does not need to be filed with the Bankruptcy Court. Special procedures have been established for holders of asbestos personal injury and wrongful death claims to vote on the Plan. Lawyers for holders of these claims may vote on the Plan on behalf of their clients if authorized by their client. If you are unsure whether your lawyer is authorized to vote on your behalf, please contact your lawyer. THE HEARING TO CONFIRM THE PLAN

A hearing to confirm the Plan will be held before the Honorable Mary F. Walrath, United States Bankruptcy Judge, at the United States Bankruptcy Court for the District of Delaware, 824 Market Street, 5th Floor, Wilmington, Delaware 19801, commencing on August 10, 2015 at 10:30 a.m. (prevailing Eastern time). You may attend the hearing but are not required to do so. OBJECTING TO THE PLAN

Objections to the Plan are limited to changes between the Original Plan and the Plan and must be submitted in writing and received by July 8, 2015 to be considered. All objections must comply with the requirements in the notice of the Confirmation Hearing, available at http://www.flintkotebankruptcy.com. HOW TO OBTAIN DOCUMENTS

If you would like additional information about the Plan, Disclosure Supplement and the Trust (including copies of the Plan and the Disclosure Supplement), you may contact the Debtors’ Voting Agent at (800) 290-0537 or visit http://www.flintkotebankruptcy.com. &ŽƌĐŽŵƉůĞƚĞŝŶĨŽƌŵĂƟŽŶ͕ŝŶĐůƵĚŝŶŐĂůůƌĞůĞǀĂŶƚĨŽƌŵƐ͕ ŶŽƟĐĞƐĂŶĚŝŶƐƚƌƵĐƟŽŶƐ͕ƉůĞĂƐĞĐŽŶƐƵůƚ͗ &ůŝŶƚŬŽƚĞZĞŽƌŐĂŶŝǌĂƟŽŶtĞďƐŝƚĞ &ůŝŶƚŬŽƚĞZĞŽƌŐĂŶŝǌĂƟŽŶ,ĞůƉůŝŶĞ ǁǁǁ͘ŇŝŶƚŬŽƚĞďĂŶŬƌƵƉƚĐǇ͘ĐŽŵ 1-800-290-0537 tƌŝƚĞƚŽ͗dŚĞ&ůŝŶƚŬŽƚĞŽŵƉĂŶǇĂŶĚ&ůŝŶƚŬŽƚĞDŝŶĞƐ͕>ŝŵŝƚĞĚ͕ ĐͬŽ''͕W͘K͘ŽǆϭϬϭϮϳ͕ƵďůŝŶ͕KŚŝŽϰϯϬϭϳͲϯϭϮϳ Quotable Quotes

The miracle is this: When a politician begins a sentence with “What the The more we share … American people want …,” it’s the more we have. time to change the channel. LEONARD NIMOY PAT SAJAK

DON’T ASK YOURSELF WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS. ASK YOURSELF FICTION IS TO GROWN WHAT MAKES YOU COME ALIVE, MEN WHAT PLAY IS AND THEN GO DO THAT. HOWARD THURMAN, TO THE CHILD. author and civil rights leader ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON

Laugh it off. There’s always another night. STEVE CARELL

A lot of people are Before borrowing afraid to say what money from a they want. That’s friend, decide which why they don’t get what they want. you need most. MADONNA ADDISON H. HALLOCK, author

Reader’s Digest (ISSN 0034-0375) (USPS 865-820), (CPM Agreement# 40031457), Vol. 185, No. 1111, June 2015. © 2015. Published monthly, except bimonthly in July/August and December/January (subject to change without notice), by The Reader’s Digest Association, Inc., 44 South Broadway, White Plains, New York 10601. Periodicals postage paid at White Plains, New York, and at additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Reader’s Digest, PO Box 6095, Harlan, Iowa 51593-1595. Send undeliverable Canadian addresses to [email protected]. All rights reserved. Unauthorized reproduction, in any manner, is prohibited. Reader’s Digest, The Digest, and the Pegasus logo are registered trademarks of The Reader’s Digest Association, Inc. Marca Registrada. Printed in U.S.A. You may cancel your subscription at any time and receive a refund for copies not previously addressed. Your subscription will expire with the issue identified above your name on the address label. SUBSCRIBERS: If the Post Office alerts us that your magazine is undeliverable, we have no further obligation unless we receive a corrected address within one year. A special Reader’s Digest Large Print with selected articles from Reader’s Digest is published by The Reader’s Digest Association, Inc. For details, write: Reader’s Digest Large Print, PO Box 6097, Harlan, Iowa 51593-1597. CONSUMER INFORMATION: Reader’s Digest may share information about you with reputable companies in order for them to offer you products and services of interest to you. If you

would rather we not share information, please write to Reader’s Digest Customer Care, PO Box 6095, Harlan, Iowa 51593-1595. IMAGES CHARLES ESHELMAN/GETTY IMAGES. MICHAEL TRAN/GETTY & UNDERWOOD/CORBIS. UNDERWOOD FROM TOP:

148 | 06•2015 | rd.com Walks. Runs. Baths. Treats. Eating stuff he shouldn’t. Life with a pet is a wild ride.

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