Awesome Quotes By Dean Winchester(Jensen Ackles) From SUPERNATURAL

"Supernatural: Hell House (#1.17)" (2006)

Dean Winchester: [Sam plays a prank on Dean] That's all you got? That's weak! That is bush-league!

Sam Winchester: Truce?

Dean Winchester: Yeah, truce. Just for the next 100 miles.

Sam Winchester: I have a confession to make, I was the on that called them and told them I was a Hollywood producer.

Dean Winchester: Well I was the one that put the dead fish in their back seat.

Sam Winchester: [both laugh] Truce?

Dean Winchester: Ok well at least for the next 100 miles.

Sam Winchester: [Dean puts a spoon in Sam's mouth when he's sleeping] Haha. Very funny.

Dean Winchester: [laughs] Sorry. Not a lot of scenery here in East Texas, kinda got to make your own.

Dean Winchester: I thought the legend said that Morteki only goes after chicks.

Sam Winchester: He does.

Dean Winchester: Right well that explains we he went after you but why me?

Sam Winchester: Hilarious.

Sam Winchester: Man, we're not kids anymore, Dean! We're not gonna start that crap up again.

Dean Winchester: Start what up?

Sam Winchester: That... prank stuff. It's stupid, and it always escalates!

Dean Winchester: Oh what's the matter Sammy, afraid you're gonna get a little Nair in your shampoo again, huh?

Sam Winchester: All right. Just remember you started it. Dean Winchester: Oh ho, bring it on baldy.

Dean Winchester: [picking up a jar in the Hell House's basement] Hey Sam I dare you to take a swig 'a this.

Sam Winchester: The hell would I do that for?

[pause]

Dean Winchester: [grinning] I double dare you.

Dean Winchester: [Sam laughs] You didn't.

Sam Winchester: [laughs] Oh I did!

Dean Winchester: [Sam's talking about some signs on the walls] Exactly why you never get laid.

Dean Winchester: [hand glued to beer bottle] You didn't.

Sam Winchester: Oh, I so did.

Dean Winchester: Most of those websites wouldn't know a ghost if it bit them on the pursqueeter.

Dean Winchester: People believe in Santa Claus. How come I'm not getting hooked up every Christmas?

Sam Winchester: Because you're a bad person.

Dean Winchester: [looking into Ed and Harry's trailer] Oh, look at that. Action figures in their original packaging. What a shocker.

[Dean pulls the string on a novelty toy, making it cackle]

Sam Winchester: If you pull that string one more time, I'm gonna kill you.

[Dean pulls it again, laughs; Sam glares]

Dean Winchester: C'mon man, you need more laughter in your life, you know, you're way too tense.

Dean Winchester: I barely have any skin left on my palm.

Sam Winchester: I'm not touching that line with a ten foot pole.

[after Dean puts itching powder in Sam's shorts]

Sam Winchester: Man, I think I'm allergic to our soap or somethin'.

[Dean laughs and starts to walk away]

Sam Winchester: You did this?

[Dean laughs again]

Sam Winchester: You're a friggin' jerk!

Dean Winchester: Oh yeah!

[Sam takes his bag and coffee and leaves]

[Dean taps his beer bottle against Sam's and takes a drink; Sam smirks. Dean tries to put the bottle down and finds that it's glued to his hand. Sam laughs]

Dean Winchester: You didn't.

[Sam holds up a bottle of superglue, grinning]

Sam Winchester: Oh, I did.

Sam Winchester: I have a confession to make.

Dean Winchester: What's that?

Sam Winchester: [about Ed and Harry] I was the one who called them and told 'em I was a producer.

Dean Winchester: Well, I'm the one who put the dead fish in their backseat.

[Dean and Sam find the Hell House guarded by police]

Sam Winchester: I guess the cops don't want any more kids screwin' around in there.

Dean Winchester: Yeah, but *we* still gotta get in there.

[they hear loud whispering] Dean Winchester: I don't believe it.

[Sam looks and sees Zeddmore and Spengler trying to sneak up on the house]

Dean Winchester: I got an idea.

[he throws his voice]

Dean Winchester: Who ya gonna call?

[the cops chase the other two; Sam and Dean sneak into the house]

Dean Winchester: We're reporters with the Dallas Morning News. I'm Dean, this is Sam.

Craig Thursten: No way. Heh. Yeah, I'm a writer too. I write for my school's lit magazine.

Dean Winchester: [sotto voce] Oh. Well good for you, Morrison.

Sam Winchester: Man, we're not kids anymore, Dean. We're not gonna start that crap up again.

Dean Winchester: Start what up?

Sam Winchester: That prank stuff. It's stupid, and it always escalates.

Dean Winchester: Aw, what's the matter Sammy, afraid you're get a little Nair in your shampoo again, huh?

Dean Winchester: I say we find ourselves a bar and some beers, and leave the legend to the locals.

Dean Winchester: I thought the legend says that Mordechai only goes after chicks.

Sam Winchester: It does.

Dean Winchester: Right. Well, I mean, that explains why he went after you, but why me?

Dean Winchester: Okay, wait a second. You're trying to tell me that just because people believe in Mordechai, he's real?

Sam Winchester: I don't know, maybe.

Dean Winchester: People believe in Santa Clause, how come I'm not getting hooked up every Christmas?

Sam Winchester: Because you're a bad person.

Dean Winchester: I barely have enough skin left on my palm.

Sam Winchester: I'm not touching that line with a ten foot pole.

[Dean and Sam ask the kids about the haunted house]

Second Teenage Boy: It was the scariest thing I ever saw in my life, I swear to God!

Third Teenage Boy: From the moment we walked in. The walls were painted black.

Second Teenage Boy: Red.

First Teenage Girl: I think it was blood!

Second Teenage Boy: With all these freaky symbols.

Third Teenage Boy: Crosses and stars and...

Second Teenage Boy: Pentagons...

Third Teenage Boy: Pentacostals!

First Teenage Girl: Whatever. I had my eyes closed the whole time.

Second Teenage Boy: But I can damn sure tell you this much, no matter what anybody else says.

First Teenage Girl: That poor girl.

Third Teenage Boy: With the black...

Second Teenage Boy: Blonde...

First Teenage Girl: Red hair, just, just, just hanging there!

Second Teenage Boy: Kicking!

Third Teenage Boy: Without even moving!

First Teenage Girl: She was real!

Second Teenage Boy: One hundred percent!

Third Teenage Boy: And kinda hot. Well you know, in a *dead* sort of way.

Dean Winchester: Okay...

Sam Winchester: ...And how did you find out about this place anyway?

Second Teenage Boy, Third Teenage Boy, First Teenage Girl: Craig!

Sam Winchester: We're doing an article on local hauntings, and rumor has it you might know about one.

Craig Thursten: You mean the Hell House?

Dean Winchester: That's the one.

Craig Thursten: I didn't think there was anything to the story.

Sam Winchester: Why don't you tell us the story?

Craig Thursten: Well, supposedly back in the thirties, this farmer, Mordecai Murdoch, used to live in the house with his six daughters. It was during the Depression, his crops were failing, he didn't have enough money to even feed his own family. So I guess that's when he went off the deep end.

Sam Winchester: How?

Craig Thursten: Well, he figured, it was best if his girls died quick, rather than starve to death. So he attacked them. And they screamed, and begged for him to stop, but, he just strung 'em up. One after another. And then when he was all finished, he turned around and hung himself. Now they say that his spirit is trapped in the house forever. Stringing up any other girl that goes inside.

Dean Winchester: And where'd you hear all this?

Craig Thursten: My cousin Dana told me. I don't know where she heard it from. You gotta realize, I didn't believe this for a second...

Sam Winchester: But now you do.

Craig Thursten: I don't know what the hell to think, man. Guys, I'll tell you exactly what I told the police, okay? That girl was real. And she was dead. This was not a prank. I swear to God, I don't wanna go anywhere near that house, ever again, okay?

Sam Winchester: Well, I couldn't find a Mordecai, but I did turn up a Mark Murdoch who lived in that house in the thirties. He did have children, but only two of 'em. Both boys. And there's no record he ever killed anyone.

Dean Winchester: Huh.

Sam Winchester: What about you?

Dean Winchester: Ah well, those kids didn't really give us a clear description of that dead girl, but I did hit up the police station. No matching missing persons, it's like she never existed. Dude, come on man, we did our diggin'. This one's a bust. All right? For all we know those Hellhound boys made up the whole thing.

Sam Winchester: Yeah, all right. Dean Winchester: I say we find ourselves a bar and some beers and leave the legend to the locals.

[he gets in the car; Sam waits, grinning; Dean turns the ignition and music blasts out of the speakers at full volume]

Dean Winchester: Whoa! Jeez, what the...

[Sam laughs, getting in]

Dean Winchester: That's all you got? That's weak. That is bush-league!

Craig Thursten: Guys, I'm really not in the mood to answer any more of your questions, okay?

Dean Winchester: Oh don't worry, don't worry, we're just here to buy an album, that's all.

[he fishes through the rack, pulls out a record]

Dean Winchester: You know I couldn't figure out what that symbol was, and then I realized that it doesn't mean *anything*. It's a logo for Blue Oyster Cult. So tell me Craig, you uh, you into BOC? Or just scaring the hell outta people?

[he hands Craig the album with the logo on it]

Dean Winchester: Now why don't you tell us about that house? Without lyin' through your ass this time.

Craig Thursten: [sighing] All right, um. My cousin, Dana, was on break from TCU. And, I guess we were just bored, looking for something to do, so I showed her this abandoned dump I found. We thought it'd be funny if we made it look like it was haunted. So we painted symbols on the walls, some from some albums, some from some of Dana's theology textbooks, and we found out this guy Murdoch used to live there, so we, we made up some story to go along with that. So, they told people, who told other people... and then these two guys put it on their stupid website. Everything just, took on a life of its own. I mean I, I thought it was funny at first but... now that girl's dead? I mean it was just a joke! You know I mean, none of it was real, we made the whole thing up! I swear!

Dean Winchester: All right.

[to Sam, as they walk out]

Dean Winchester: If none of it was real how the hell do you explain Mordecai?

Dean Winchester: Look, if Mordecai can't leave the house and we can't kill him? We improvise.

[he flicks a lighter, tosses it through the door onto the lighter fluid he had spread around; they run as the house goes up in flames]

Sam Winchester: That's your solution? Burn the whole damn place to the ground? Dean Winchester: Well no one'll go in anymore. I mean look, Mordecai can't haunt a house if there's no house to haunt. It's fast and dirty but it works.

Sam Winchester: Well what if the legend changes again and Mordecai is allowed to leave the house?

Dean Winchester: Well then we just have to come back.

"Supernatural: Pilot (#1.1)" (2005)

Dean Winchester: We talking, like misdemeanor kind of trouble or "squeal-like-a-pig" trouble?

Dean Winchester: Fake 911 phone call, Sammy, I dunno, that's pretty illegal.

Sam Winchester: You're welcome.

Sam Winchester: So how'd you pay for that stuff? You and Dad still running credit card scams?

Dean Winchester: Yeah, well. Hunting ain't exactly a pro-ball career. Besides, all we do is apply. It's not our fault they send us the cards.

Sam Winchester: Yeah? And what names did you write on the application this time?

Dean Winchester: Uh... Burt Aframian... and his son, Hector. Scored two cards out of the deal.

Dean Winchester: You can pretend all you want, Sammy. But sooner or later you're gonna have to face up to who you really are.

Sam Winchester: And who's that?

Dean Winchester: You're one of us.

Sam Winchester: No, I'm not like you. This is not going to be my life.

Dean Winchester: Well, you have a responsibility.

Sam Winchester: To Dad? And his crusade? If it weren't for pictures, I wouldn't even know what Mom looks like. And what difference would it make? Even if we do find the thing that killed her, Mom's gone. And she isn't coming back.

Dean Winchester: [slams Sam into bridge] Don't talk about her like that.

Dean Winchester: That Constance chick, what a BITCH.

Dean Winchester: [to Jessica, who's wearing a tight-fitting Smurfs t-shirt] I love the Smurfs.

Dean Winchester: [to Jessica] Anyway, I gotta borrow your boyfriend here, talk about some private family business, but uh, nice meetin' you.

Sam Winchester: No. No, whatever you want to say, you can say it in front of her.

Dean Winchester: Okay. Uhm, Dad hasn't been home in a few days.

Sam Winchester: So he's working overtime on a Miller time shift. He'll stumble back in sooner or later.

Dean Winchester: [meaningfully] Dad's on a *hunting* trip... and he hasn't been home in a few days.

Sam Winchester: Jess, excuse us. We have to go outside.

Sam Winchester: [listening to a message from John] You know there's EVP on that?

Dean Winchester: Not bad, Sammy. Kinda like riding a bike, isn't it? All right, I slowed the message down, ran it through a gold wave, took out the hiss and this is what I got.

[he plays another recording]

The Woman in White: [ghostly whisper] I can never... go... home...

Sam Winchester: Never go home...

Sam Winchester: Hey Dean... what I said earlier, about mom and dad, I'm sorry...

Dean Winchester: [raises hand to stop Sam] No chick flick moments.

Sam Winchester: Alright... jerk.

Dean Winchester: Bitch.

Dean Winchester: Does Jessica know the truth about you? I mean, does she know about the things you've done?

Sam Winchester: No. And she's not ever *going* to know.

Dean Winchester: Well that's healthy!

Sam Winchester: Dean, what the hell are you doing here?

Dean Winchester: I *was* looking for a beer.

Sam Winchester: What the *hell* are you doing here?

Sam Winchester: Okay, all right. We gotta talk.

Sam Winchester: Ah... the *phone*?

Dean Winchester: If I'da called you would you have picked up?

Dean Winchester: So, what are you gonna do? Are you just gonna live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it?

Sam Winchester: No, not normal. Safe.

Jessica: Just, let me put something on.

Dean Winchester: No, no, no... I wouldn't dream of it. Seriously.

Sam Winchester: I swear man, you *gotta* update your cassette tape collection.

Dean Winchester: Why?

Sam Winchester: Well for one, they're *cassette tapes*. And two, Black Sabbath? Motorhead? Metallica? It's the greatest hits of mullet rock.

Dean Winchester: House rules, Sammy. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole.

Sam Winchester: Y'know, "Sammy" is a chubby 12 year old. It's Sam okay.

Dean Winchester: Sorry, I can't hear you. The music's too loud.

[Dean drags himself from the river]

Sam Winchester: Dean, hey are you all right?

Dean Winchester: I'm super.

Sam Winchester: [answers phone] What?

Dean Winchester: Dude. Five-O. Take off.