"When [a good newspaperman] dies, a lot ofpeople are sorry, and some ofthem remember him .for several days."- Stanley n~lker, editor Volume XXXIII, Number 9 1000 Hilltop Circle, Baltimore, MD 21250 October 27, 1998

New Computer Lab B~ Controversy Pornography Viewing Halts Other Students' Studies

RYAN SURBER puters with access to the Internet to does not agree with total restriction. Retrie1•er Week/1 Staff Writer further students' educations. stating that, "One person's art Employees and volunteers at the project is another person's pornog­ The freedom for a student to ac­ L~C say that the pornography is raphy." cess whatever he pleases on the web offensive and a considerable dis­ The LRC's tutorial labs are lo­ has recently become the subject of traction to the learning environ­ cated in the rather secluded base­ orne debate, as students and fac­ ment, and therefore should be re­ ment of the Albin 0. Kuhn Library ulty have expressed concern over stricted. But Marie Toomes, UMBC the large number of students using Manager of University Computing see PORN, page 5 the computers next to the Learning Resource Center's (LRC) Math and Writing Labs to access internet por­ nography. The Internet has brought a wealth Dave Chen I Retriever Weekly StatT of information to modern day American society, and UMBC has Retrievers Gain Three Easy Victories kept pace with this rapidly expand­ On a roll: Kara Welniak (hitting) and the volleyball team won ing technology by offering students three matches last week, all in three straight games (page 24 ). free accounts and providing com- Gubernatorial Election Draws Near

TRACY SOLTESZ will not be able to participate in the general election. You may not Retriever ~\i'ek/_1· Editorial Staff upcoming election. Registration of­ register if you have been con­ fices closed at 9 p.m. on October 5 victed more than once of a dis­ Tuesday, November 3 marks and will not reopen until Novem­ qualifying crime or if you are Jason Putsche I Retriever Weekly Staff the date for registered voters to ber 19. currently under guardianship for Go Home: Students and faculty are offended by the use of UMBC's cast their ballots in Maryland's However registration applica­ a mental disability. computers for viewing pornography on the Internet. General Election. This year is tions are available year-round at all Take note that a registered considered a Gubernatorial Maryland offices of the Motor Ve­ voter must be at least 18 on or Election year. meaning that Bal­ hicle Administration. the State De­ before the general election. This Progrant Provides timore County voters will be partment of Health, Social Services means that 17 -year-olds may responsible for electing the: Adminjstration, Offices of Aging, register prior to their 18th birth­ Governor and Lt. Governor; some libraries and local post offices day. In fact, they may also vote Push for At Risk Kids Comptroller; Attorney General; or by calling 1-800-222-VOTE. in the primary election provid­ U.S. Senators; Members of the The completed application can ei­ ing they will tum 18 by Novem­ PAT FURGURSON thousands of at-risk kids that attend House of Delegates; County ther be mailed to the election board ber. Retrie1•er Weekly Staff Writer these troubled schools. government officials; Judges; or delivered in person. You will be considered a reg­ Some of the results of the pro­ and Court House officials. To apply in Baltimore County. istered voter when you receive The statistics related to urban gram are promising: an eighth grade Many first-time student vot­ you must be a county resident, a your voter notification card from public education are shocking - student, whom in sixth grade had a ers may deem a trip to the polls United States citizen and 18 years your election board. Most times, the teachers are fleeing from third grade reading level. has risen to be both confusing and time­ of age or older on or before the next this will arrive in the mail. It is schools, the students are suffering, to the appropriate grade level: a stu­ consuming. But it doesn't have important to hold onto the card and educators and the nation are dent who previously had D's and to be this way! The following because it will list on it the af­ fumbling for a response. If early E's can now boast being on the information is offered to make filiation of your choice, the results are any indication, a re­ honor roll, as can many others in voting, the lifeblood of name and address of your poll­ sponse model being tested in nearby the program. America, an easy and exciting ing place, your Election District Maryland public schools under the The School-University Program adventure. and Precinct, Legislative, Con­ direction of Dr. John Y. Lee, assis­ to Prepare Outstanding Respansive gressional and Councilmanic tant professor in the Urban Teacher Teachers (SUPPORT) , which is Registering to Vote Education track at UMBC, might aimed at low-income and other dis- Unfortunately, if you have not provide an answer and hope for the already registered to vote. you Carl Gehnnan I Retriever Weekly Staff see ELECTION, page 14 see PROGRAM, page 6

Emily Bernstein A tribute to the A look at elections Men's soccer gains has Election Day slain Wyoming col· in '98, including a draw with 24th­ blues, Jessica lege student, student opinions, a ranked St. Francis, Rothfus is talking TheatreCOM rocks look at the differ­ women's soccer witchcraft, Tracy the RATT, Tori ences between finishes on a roll, Soltesz and Laura Amos visits Balti­ Ellen Sauerbrey Andrew Smullian Hanyok have differ­ more, Anna Kaplan and Parris thinks footballfans ing views of UMBC uses the restroom, Glendening, and are loonies and and the arts, and Soldier fires blanks some lighthearted Chris Kerner wants Gabe Marcus is fat? and lots of music. humor. '------~ to support our Dogs. PAGE2 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS October 27, 1998

National Collegiate Alcohol Awareness Week Speakers Emphasize Alcohol's Negative Effect on Trauma Gabe Marcus/Retriever Weekly Staff GABEMARCUS thousand dollars. And Retriever Weekly Staff Writer that's not the only thing patients have to worry Dr. Carl Soderstrom encouraged students about. Fraternity Students Vote To "They won't promise Ban Alcohol to think of injury as a presentable disease at a presentation on the effects alcohol has on what you'll be when you The national fraternity Theta Chi survive." he said. He cau­ Fraternity Inc. has voted to maice all trauma that was hosted jointly by Student Health Services (SHS), [campu<;] police. the tioned not to label trauma its facilities on some ISO univer~ity Women's Center and several other campus as something lhat happens campuses across the United States al­ organizations. This event, held Tuesday in the to other people. cohol-free within lhe next five years. basement of Susquehanna hall attracted 'Trauma happens to all Nearly two-thirds of the delegates at mostly Emergency Health Services majors of us," he added, stating the 142-ycar-old fraternit} 's national that the average citizen convention lhis summer voted to in­ and members of the Delta Phi Epsilon soror­ ity. has a one in 10 chance of struct Theta Chi's board to institute an being admitted to the hos­ alcohol-free housing policy. Soderstrom, Professor of Surgery at the University of Maryland Shock-Trauma Cen­ pital in their lifetime. "It is time to refocus our efforts on The lecture was pre­ scholarship, philanthropy, leadership ter in Baltimore, was the ftrst speaker and presented his lecture as ·'more clinical than sented as one of many and individual development. This is all events held in honor of about getting back to basics," said na­ preachy." He began by showing historical documents written by the Sumerians which National Collegiate Alco­ tional president James S. McEachern hol Awareness Week. Ill. linked alcohol and trauma. Also presented were slides from the "Journal of Inebriety" Marie Yeh of Student which documented severe injuries from al­ Health Services said the Affirmative Action Walkout week's activities went Ineffective cohol related traffic accidents in 1904. "B) living in Mal) land. you live in the best fairly well. BERKELEY. Calif. - University of "1 thought a lot of the California (UC) officials reacted yes­ trauma system in the world," he said, refer­ ring to the quality pre-hospital care and the students had fun," she terday to lhe two-day faculty-student added, explaining that the walkout and teach-ins in support of Mary land State Police medivac system. Jud} Kressig, lhe second guest speaker, two goals of the affirmative action with varying views, week were met. saying diversity is important, but stu­ was involved in an automobile accident sev­ eral years ago and suffered severe injury. "First, to raise aware­ dents and faculty should express them ness of actions and conse­ in a more productive manner. Today she walks with a limp and has a se­ vere speech impediment. quences of alcohol," she Other officials said the walkout, "My brain cells will not grow back," she explained. ·'Second, to Trauma Happens: Dr. Carl Soderstrom warns students which has been taking place at colleges told the group. offer alcohol free activi- to avoid the devastation of physical trauma by taking nationwide, including UC Davis, the ties." responsibility and considering injury a preventable "I spent three years cleaning up for three University of Michigan and UCLA, hours of fun:· she added, referring to the SHS and other sponsors disease. was a form of free expression. length of time spent in Shock-Trauma and of the event wanted to en- "Free exchange of ideas about im­ rehabilitation. courage students to Jearn ways to have fun fliers, students received a poster which pro­ portant issues is what the university is Although Maryland has a top-of-the-line without the use of alcohol, since most students vided a list of "98 Fun Things to do With­ all about," said UC spokesperson Brad trauma system, Dr. Soderstrom warned stu­ said they drink because "there's nothing else out Alcohol At Or Around UMBC". Events Hayward. "Admission to the university dents that they would rather avoid the facili­ to do." included learning TaeKwonDo, attending is an important issue and we recognize ties. According to Sodel'Strom the average bill In addition to the week's activities, which SEB concerts, and, number 94 on the list that many people are concerned." for Shock-Trauma patients is around fifteen were widely advertised on campus through -"Write for the Retriever". Prosecutors Choose Not To Prosecute Date Rape Case SALT LAKE CITY, Utah -Citing a Problems of Technology, Infonnation Systems Ad~ lack of evidence, the Salt Lake County district attorney's office bas decided DAHLIANAQm Varian then applied this theory to technology gan and other universities around the world. not to file charges against two individu­ Retriever Weekly Staff Writer and described how they too manipulate demand. He has published many papers on economic als charged with a set of sexual assaults Software companies actually take the extra ef­ theory, industrial organization, financial eco­ that allegedly occurred the night of Dr. Hal Varian lectured on the economics of fort to modify their equipment in order to degrade nomics, econometrics and infonnation eco­ September 4 in the Kappa Sigma fra­ technology and information systems at a semi­ it and so fonn the less expensive product They nomics, and has also recently co-authored a ternity bouse. nar on Network Economy hosted by the Eco­ add chips to slow it down. With this insight, be book titled Information Rules: A Strategic Each of the two individuals was ei­ nomics Department last Friday. made a clear distincti taught at MIT. Stanford. Oxford. l\.1ichi- THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS October 27, 1998 PAGE3

PoLICE LoG

SAFETY TIP OF THE WEEK: encountered three men from the Glaziers, Ar­ have an outstanding tag pick-up order. Where you live: chitectural Metal and Glass Workers Union­ The tags were seized and the owner ,.. Keep your doors locked when you're Local 963 based in Washington D.C. picket­ was contacted. The owner stated that alone- night or day. ing at the entrance to the construction site. her son was the primary driver of the ,.. Don'tlet strangers in. The men were advised that they were tres­ vehicle. She was not aware of any ,.. Don't leave a door unlocked for passing on university property and escorted problems with the registration. The ve­ someone planning to come later. from the campus. hicle was impounded. Netanyahu, Arafat Sign Interim Peace Accord Theft from Building Injured Person Found/Recovered Property Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin October 13,9:45 p.m. -A non-student October 16,3:16 p.m.-On the Library Ath­ October 19,2:41 a.m. -At the inter­ Netanyabu and Palestinian leader Yasser reported that someone removed a ban­ letic field, a UMBC student was playing flag section of Shelboume Road and Pop­ Arafat signed an interim accord yester­ ner from the plaza at the University Cen­ football and dislocated his shoulder. Medic lar Avenue, a police officer discovered day that committed them afresh to ex­ ter. The banner is approximately 3x 20ft. 355 AVFD responded to the scene and trans­ an Omega brand, eighteen speed men's change land and power for concrete steps with rainbow colors and the words ported the student to St. Agnes Hospital. mountain bicycle abandoned on uni­ to secure Israel from political violence. "Come out and Celebrate National Com­ UMBC Student Health Services was notified versity property. Baltimore County They agreed to commence in earnest ing Out Day" imprinted with white let­ of the incident. Police advised that they had no recent next month the final stage of talks to re­ tering. The banner is valued at 300. reports of bicycle theft. The bicycle solve their national dispute. The accord Theft from Vehicle was stored at HQ. cemented Netanyabu's commitment to Abandoned Vehicle October 16, 4:33p.m.-A UMBC student territorial compromise with the Palestin­ October 14, 9:00 a.m -An abandoned reported the theft of property valued at $580 Seizure of Registration Plates ians, a concept to which he led opposi­ vehicle has been parked in Lot 17 since from her vehicle while it was parked and October 19, 9 a.m. -At the intersec­ tion in Israel until his election in 1996. September 2 and has continued to dete­ unattended on Hilltop Circle. Investigation tion of UMBC boulevard and Hilltop On Arafat's part, it marked a new will­ riorate, appearing as though the interior revealed a high probability that the vehicle circle, while operating a radar unit, a ingness to subject Palestinians to close is being dismantled. The vehicle was was unlocked. There were no signs of forced police officer stopped a vehicle for verification of painful promises they have tagged abandoned and will be removed entry into the vehicle. Investigation is open. exceeding the posted speed limit. Upon made before and failed to keep. upon receipt of the return mail notice. inspection, the officer discovered tbat For President Clinton, who hosted a Record of Information the registration plates expired on Au­ nine-day summit on the Eastern Shore Theft from Vehicle October 16, 7:43 p.m. -In the University gust 31st. The driver stated that she was that represented by far the deepest diplo­ October 15, 3:40a.m. -While on pa­ Center, a student notified police that her unable to renew the registration plates. matic investment of his presidency, the trol, near the intersection of Hilltop former boyfriend, another student, threatened The results of a MVA inquiry, re­ White House signing ceremony repre­ Circle and Back Road, a police officer to commit suicide regarding the termination quested by the officer, revealed there sented a major political and foreign policy observed that the door to a vehicle was of their relationship. The student was inter­ was a MVA pick-up alert for the tags. victory at a time when he badly needed ajar. Further examination suggested that viewed and confirmed making the statement. The officer seized both registration one. the sound system in the vehicle bad been The student denied having the intention to plates and forwarded them to the Mo­ removed. Another $200 was added to the carry out the act. tor Vehicle Administration. The vehicle Pinochet Opens An Agonizing total loss value for damages to the ve­ was nottowed, however, the driver was Question hicle. The preliminary investigation Recovered/Found Property informed of the abandoned vehicle SANTIAGO, Chile - In Chile and failed to provide clues to those respon­ October 17,9:25 p.m. -A private security laws. throughout South America, the stunning sible for the crime. The investigation officer assigned to work an event in the UC arrest in London last week of former will continue. Ballroom, reported finding a combination 21" Theft from Vehicle president Augusto Pinochet has reopened Panasonic television!VCR inside the stairway October 1'9, 5:25p.m.-While study­ an agonizing question: Is it better to con­ Record of Information landing at the freight elevator. The unit bears ing in lecture hall two, a student re­ front the ghosts of authoritarianism or October 16,3:56 a.m. -An anonymous a UMBC property identification number and ported someone removed her property leave them undisturbed? caller alerted police to a possible distur­ label. The property was taken into custody valued at $81 from an area that she was For a decade or more, the story ofLatin bance involving a student in Chesapeake and stored pending further investigation. studying. According to the student she America's young democracies - espe­ Hall. A student was contacted and ad­ left the property unattended for a pe­ cially in Braz.il, Argentina, Chile and mitted to having a substance abuse prob­ Impounded Vehicle riod of time. Upon returning, she dis­ Uruguay - has been the story of com­ lem. The student was referred to Judi­ October 18, 8:10p.m.- On Outer Hilltop covered that someone had removed her ing to grips with the excesses of military cial Affairs for Conduct Code violations. Circle at the intersection of Walker Ave., a property. The preliminary investigation rule. Some, like Brazil, have chosen to police officer observed a vehicle which had failed to produce clues that would iden­ forgive and forget. Argentina, by contrast, drifted from a parking space into the trav­ tify people responsible for the theft. has opted for a middle path, exposing the Record of Information eled portion of the roadway. A check ofMVA The investigation will continue. crimes of military rulers and pardoning October 16,7:30 a.m.- An officer records revealed the owners of the vehicle to all but a few. But as the furor this week in Chile has demonstrated, there is still no agreement Money Matters on the best approach. Nowhere, perhaps, is the question more pressing than in Professor John T. Starr Scholarship Awarded Chile and, to a lesser degree, in "Argen­ tina, which weathered the most repres­ sive and bloody regimes during the era The UMBC chapter of Lambda Chi Alpha Chapter Advisor Brad Peabody, a Baltimore of dictatorships in the 1970s and 1980s. International Fraternity awarded its annual attorney and volunteer supervisor ofUMBC's Both nations have risked dangerous "Professor John T. Starr Scholarship" to Lily Legal Interns. "She bas been a tutor, peer showdowns with the armed forces by try­ Alerni, a UMBC Honors College Senior on helper and leader in extra-curricular activi­ ing to attain some level of accountabil­ October 15. ties. Her 'passion for helping children' will ity; both have been forced to pass sweep­ Alemi is an Interdisciplinary Studies ma­ make her an outstanding, caring physician." ing amnesty Jaws that protected most of jor who hopes to attend medical school and This scholarship is named in honor of Dr. the guilty. become a pediatric neurosurgeon. She is a John Starr, retired UMBC professor of ge­ member of numerous national collegiate ography and Ao;sociate Vice Chancellor for honor societies, including Phi Kappa Phi. Academic Affairs, who was a beloved Aca­ Golden Key, the National Dean's List and demic Advisor to the fraternity for many Chucky got lucky - Who's Who. Alemi has been very active at year~. Lambda Chi Alpha at UMBC is cel­ UMBC in the Persian American Student Or­ ebrating its 20th year on campus. so can you ... write ganization, the President's Advisory Coun­ for The Retriever cil, the Honors Student Association and Outstanding Student: Jim Milani, Multi-Cultural Leadership Council. Chapter Advisor, and Andrew Weekly "Lily Alemi has compiled an outstanding Hendreschke, President of Lambda Chi call x1260 academic record at both Dulaney High Alpha, with Lily Alemi, Starr scholarship School and UMBC," said Lambda Chi's recipient. PAGE4 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS October 27, 1998

Money Matters Scholarship Guide Makes Finding More Money Easy

HAROLD MCDOUGALL IV She explained that a scholarship-seeker The book contains important and rel­ Retrie~·er Weeki~· Staff Writer must be able to weed through the numer­ evant information on researching and ap­ ous scholarships that are not designed for plying for scholarships, which includes With college costs rising faster than in­ them to find the scholarships that they are writing effective cover letters and avoid­ flation, what's a poor college student to do? eligible for. ing scholarship scams. In addition, it con­ Get a second job? Take out a loan you'll According to Schlacter, the best source tains detailed descriptions of over three have to repay for the rest of your natural for finding information on scholarships is thousand scholarships, one of which may life? Or perhaps beg spare change from the an obvious place that many students often be just for you! inner harbor tourists? overlook - the neighborhood public li­ With an average increase of 4 per cent in If this doesn't sound extraordinarily ap­ brary! Unlike the bookstore, which may college tuition across the board last year, pealing, perhaps you'll want to check out have substandard titles, the library contains finding a sc~olarship could be more impor­ Scholarships 1999 by Dr. Gail Schlacter. what the librarians think are the best re­ tant than ever! So for all those college stu­ 8 'lllouunds of Scholarships, eat11- $1.000 .,,.,. Schlacter has compiled information on sources. dents who don't currently have a scholar­ 8 DetallecllnformatfoniOt-r~tohoip~

Money Matters: A Scholarship For What?

PAT FURGURSON Carolina courtesy of the John Gatling Schol­ lowship from the American Society of Mi­ selection process under which all appli· Reuiever Weekly Staff Writer arship. You know. the guy who invented that cro-Biology. cations. "noble and otherwise," arc in­ machine gun-thing in The Magnificent Seven Not all website searches proved fruitful tensively reviewed at the board's peren­ Students sweat anticipating the word - that Gatling. Actually. you must be born however. The WOW! University Scholar­ nial meeting at Merida's Mexican Res­ on their coveted scholarship. WiU it be with the machine gun moniker, so don't go ships page of the WOW! Marketing site read, taurant outside Houston. TX. and Oxford? The Meyerhoff'] The Amaz­ changing your name. really. "Frankly we have not gotten this part worked awarded after the annual Beer-Bike Race ing Randi? Perhaps pigs arc your particular plca.~ure. out yet. ... We're going to have a scholarship Day. (We did not ask). Yes folks. the Amazing Randi - in­ The Future Farmers of America annually for young marketing-professionals-to-be. The inaugural Goliard award in 1986 famous debunker of things par.monnal awards $500 in the coveted International Soon. I swear it." The International Society went to a proposal entitled "China­ - has a scholarship available for stu­ Boar Semen Scholarship to study swine man­ ofWater Jet Technology's scholarship site is, Bunna: The Odyssey (Including Danc­ dents who wish to pursue proving agement. well, "Under Construction... And has been ing on Tables in Shanghai). Other win­ psychics fraudulent. He gives three It is too late if you are already in college, for a year. ners have included: "The Singing Gib­ awards annually, $1000. $750 and $500. but if you have a stout sibling, a corpulent But what a year you could have as the re­ bons of Borneo (The Monkeys-Not The Randi is and example of thousands of cousin. or just a pudgy pal you might be able cipient of the Goliard World Travel Scholar­ Brothers): "Downing a Shaefer Lite Atop offbeat funding sources available to stu­ to hook them up with a $500 award from the ship awarded annually to a Rice University Mount Everest"; and a more serious study dent<; who search long and hard enough. New England chapter of the National Asso­ undergraduate. The Goliard wins the best at­ of "The Pubs of Europe." The Retriever Weekly spent a couple of ciation to Advance Fat Acceptance. titude award of all the scholar~hips perused If the Goliard hm; you daydreaming in hours surfing the Net and found loads The Billy Barty Foundation. named for the in this informal surfing poll. The website wanderlust maybe a transfer to of them. Here's a look at a few: four-foot·ninc actor who starred in movies warns that "the student seriously consider­ Wollangong Univer<;ity some 60 miles Are you a drum and bugle and occasionally whacked Milton Belle. and ing applying ... should note that the Board south of Sydney. Australia might work. afficionado? Sponsors of Music Enrich­ others. in the old (really old) powder-puff­ currently has very little to date pertaining to They offer a myriad of scholarship op­ ment, Inc.(SOME) doles out two schol­ make-up-man gag, awards $2,000 to the ver· whether this scholarship -actually promotes portunities. But, if you are like most folks arships to promote the perks of drum tically challenged. leadership, organization or even originality and this scholarship hunt just gives you and bugle activity. How do they raise One can plug into the Scholarship Re­ of thought.'' a headache- never fear! You might ap­ the money? Through Bingo! Boys and source Service which wiiJ search for fund­ The $1 ,000 a\\ ard may be spent in a vari­ ply for an award from the Tylenol Schol­ girls, moms and dads, grandmas and ing sources after filling in the several slots ety of ways like "a thousand incidental items arship Fund, administered by the Ross Perot's crazy aunt blot numbers all of qualifying information. We said we were to travel such as good coffee and newspa­ Citi.ten's Scholarship Foundation of year long to help send kids to college. a Maryland female minority (Mikkosuke. to pers. or ... that tour of Siberian vodka distill­ America. Inc. Got a pencil? That's P.O. If you were to change your name to be exact) majoring in Polymer Science and eries ... that just seemed too financially fan­ Box 297, St. Peter, MN 56082. Hone.st. Gatling or Gatlin you could qualify for it kicked up several possibilities including ciful until now." a free ride to the University of North the Minority Undergraduate Research fel- Ingenuity and creativity are crucial to the THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS October 27, 1998 PAGES Pornography Problems Not a First For University from PORN, page 1 that one must, "use accounts only for appro­ Jist. The other system, which works by look­ ing pornography. The University bas yet to priate University activities," and "respect the ing for censored words, eliminates sites on see these regulations enforced but the results and offer students peer help in Mathematics rights of others, and not threaten, harass or breast cancer and sites with topics like Gay could inevitably bring about controversy. and Writing. The computer Jabs were added intimidate." and Lesbian issues. Obviously it is not the to the basement in order to meet the demand These guidelines seem to rule out the use intent of the University to limit these types of students working on papers and doing re­ of the Internet for attaining pornography, but of sites which makes blocking effectively search. But according to some students the not every University computer can be moni­ unconscionable. added computers are no help to their studies. tored by student consultants to keep this from This is not the first time pornography in i i "I have had to wait 20 minutes for a com­ happening. Furthermore, Director of U Diver­ the computer labs has become an issue on ' puter because people are looking at pornog­ sity Computing Jack Suess asked, "Whose the UMBC campus. In 1992-93 when the raphy and refuse to give up the computer;" standards of decency do we follow?" University first put in Internet accessible said one female student without her own com­ "If it is not related to education than the computer Jabs, there were many complaints puter. student should not be using a university com­ of students leaving pictures of naked women Other students in the labs were personally puter," he added. on the screen. offended by these voyeurs but they do not Some students opposed to pornography on Now with the constantly expanding spaces feel comfortable confronting them in the act. University computers have suggested install­ that have computers, the University is not "I find it really creepy," said tutor Kari ing a blocking program to prevent access to able to staff and effectively monitor user ac­ Keen. "If their own sense of decency doesn't these types of websites. However, Suess ex­ tivities. Students are thus responsible to stop them from doing it than what do I have plained that this would be a mistake. Block­ police themselves and each other. to say?" ing programs work by either sorting through Suess explained, "If a student believes an­ The Policy for Responsible Computing at webpages and eliminating unsuitable mate­ other student is in violation of the policies, UMBC outlines the rules and regulations to rial by examining the language or having an then they can report the time and the com­ which each user agrees when he logs into his individual list sites that are restricted. puter serial numb6r, and the problem will be user account. The first agreement is that a There are inherent problems with both sys­ handled by Student Affairs." student must, "Act responsibly so as to en­ tems. Since new sites are constantly forming Until some further regulations are passed sure the integrity and ethical use of comput­ on the web it makes it virtually impossible on by the administration, this is the only re­ ing and information resources." It later reads for a person to keep updating the forbidden course for students offended by others access-

Study Spanish With AmeriSpan Hopkins Lecture Examines Civility the Governance, Coordination and Funding of mately eight times a year, with additional com­ American Airli nes is offering up to 3,000 fre­ The co-founder of the Johns Hopkins Ci­ the University System of Maryland, 90 State mittee meetings taking place throughout the quent flyer miles when you sign up for one of vility Project, Professor Pier Massimo Forni, Circle, Room 226, Annapolis, Maryland year. The term mns from July 1, 1999 until AmeriSpan's 37 Spanish language programs will give a lecture, "Why Civility, Why To­ 21401. June 30, 2000. in Spain, Mexico, Central America, South day?" at noon on Wednesday, November 4, in The student must be a Maryland resident. America and the Caribbean. All AmeriSpan Shriver Hall on the university's Homewood Graduate School Ribbon-Cutting There is no compensation for the position, customers who sign up for a Spanish program campus, 3400 North Charles Street. in Balti­ Ceremony except that related out-of-pocket expenses can of any length (programs vary from two weeks more. The Graduate School will be celebrating its be reimbursed. Interested students need to sub­ of classes to one year) and fly American Air­ A 1996 story featured in U.S. News & World redesigned space. operations and services to mit an application form and a typed essay lines will receive I ,000 AAdvantage frequent Report found that 89 percent of Americans the UMBC community at a ribbon-cutting about him/her self and what he/she can do for flyer miles from American Airlines. feel incivility to be a serious problem, and 91 ceremony on Wednesday. October 28 at 4 p.m. the students of Maryland. The essay should Two special introductory offers are also percent believe its decline contributes to vio­ in the plaza of the Administration Building. cover the applicant's perception of the role of available, which double and triple the mile­ lence. Research conducted by Forni has been In the event of inclement weather the cer­ a student member to the Maryland Higher age earned: AmeriSpan students who sign up featured in publications including The Lon­ emony wiU be held in Lecture Hall In. Re­ Education Commission, all extracunicular and for eight weeks of Spanish classes will receive don Times, The New York Times, The Wash­ freshments reflecting the international nature community activities, as well as employment a total of3,000 American Airlines AAdvantage ington Post and The Los Angeles Times. of the Graduate School and tours of the sec­ experiences he/she has had that have contrib­ miles, and students who sign up for classes in Forni received his doctorate from the Uni­ ond floor of the Administration Building will uted to his/her understanding of the commis­ November-December of 1998 or Febmary versity of California at Los Angeles and has be provided immediately following the cer­ sion and its functions, why he/she wants to be through April of 1999 will receive 2,000 miles. been a faculty member at Hopkins since 1990. emony. For further information contact Eliza­ a student commission member and the most ArneriSpan is the largest educational travel For further information on the lecture, call the beth B. Douglass. Director of Graduate Ad­ important issues in higher education in Mary­ company serving Latin America, and offers Johns Hopkins University Office of Special missions and Student Services, at 410-455- land over the next two years. Spanish immersion programs for any age, Events at 410-516-7157. 1337. Each campus will be submitting one nomi­ background. lifestyle or level of Spanish. For nation. Applications are available at the Stu­ more information, contact Jim Kane, Direc­ UMS Task Force Holds Public Hearings Maryland Higher Education Commis­ dent Affairs Office and are due no later than tor of Business Development at AmeriSpan: Admiral Charles R. Larson. USN (Ret), sion Seeking Student Member November 4th. For further information check 800-879-6640 or by email: Chairman of the Task Force to Study the Gov­ The Maryland Higher Education Commis­ out the MHEC website at: http:// [email protected]. ernance, Coordination and Funding of the sion is soliciting nominations for a student ww~~:mhec.state.md.us/. University System of Maryland. announced member. The commission meets approxi- Internationally Known Architect Presents recently that the Task Force will hold four Lecture public hearings in locations around the state ROSS ER 2,000 ROSS ALUM/II ARE CURRENTLY Internationally known architect Allan to give the public an opportunity to provide II RESIOEIICIES OR PRIVATE PRACTICE Greenberg will discuss his architectural vision input into the Task Force's deliberations. UNIVERSITY Ill THE UIIITEO STATES on Wednesday, October 28 at 6: 15 p.m. at the Individuals or organizations wishing totes­ SCHOOL OF MEDICINE · University of Baltimore's Langsdale Audito­ Grlduates fic:enstd and pniCtlclng In the U.S. COnlcll alllllltlons with hoJJ)ftals In lhe U.S. tify at any of the hearings are asked to call us Men) at that time. WEB SITE: www .rossvet.edu Email: [email protected] folio\\ the lt':Cturc. "here attendee' will have If you "ould like to test if) but arc un.thlc to the chance to meet Greenberg and ask ques­ attend. the Task Force \\Ill accept \\ riucn tes­ .. ROSS UNIVERSITY .. tions. For more infonnation. call (410) 547- timony. Address ',\;Jillcn tc~timon) to Admi­ 9000 x237. ral Larson in care of the Task l·orce to Study ' 460 West 34th Street, New York, NY 10001 ' Phone 212 279-5500 · Fax 212 629-3147 PAGE6 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS October 27, 1998 Inexperienced Teachers Get the Real Hands-On Training Needed from PROGRAM, page I the way teachers are taught. He explained that gram (STU) which Lee developed in Prince according to Lee. inexperienced teachers arc normally assigned Georges County with the help of UM BC's 1l takes two to three years to see sound re­ advantaged children in three test schools in to the toughest schools \\o hile many veterans Shriver Center some four years ago. sults with the children in the program because Anne Arundel and Baltimore counties, pro­ teach in easier, more affluent areas. STU is a gifted and talented program which they arc only seen 45 days a year. equal to vides both teacher training - through UMBC "'It's really backwards,'' Lee said. brings teacher-identified at-risk children to about one-third of a school year. -and individual support for children under Most students who go into teaching are the UMBC campus on Saturdays, where they "If you could generate these type of results grants totaling $400.000. white. middle class suburban women whose are provided with access to tools and educa­ in a thi rd of a year they would give you the "Project SUPPORT clearly supports expe­ background and teacher training. "docs not tional techniques which pro\ ide them \\ ith a keys to the school system:· Lee remarked. rienced teachers. nev. teachers. teaching can­ prepare them for the realities that await them solid foundation for success. According to Lee. SUPPORT is now get­ didates and students. I don't know of any when assigned to poor or minority schools;· "We spark their interest and use that to re­ ting national attention. He has been invited model that docs all of this at once," Jennie Lee noted. kindle the fire which they have lost," Lee to present a paper outlining some of the Pilato, program approval and assessment An inexperienced teachers faces many dif­ said. "We first dignify the children and then program ·s results at the upcoming Harvard chief at the Maryland Department of Educa­ ficulties in an urban school. For example, a expose them to technology through their own Conference on Civil Rights and Testing. At tion said. class of 30 students in urban schools could interests.'' For example, the program will in- the conference, educators. civil rights advo­ Next year the program will be expanded have 15 students troduce kids to the cates and policy makers wiJl gather to devise into Baltimore City and Prince George's on medication. internet where they can "policy actions to improve educational op­ county. Half the students "As a parent and a citizen I read up on some of their portunities for disadvantaged children," he Lee and others believe the problem is that may be reading think its is time we backed up herocs,Jike Michael Jor- explained. many urban school-children simply do not three grade levels dan. 'The gap between the have's and the have have access to qualified teachers and tools. below their class the rhetoric - the promise of "What they don "t not's has been increasing, and in this politi­ "As a parent and a citizen I think it is time rank or there may a public education - [because] realize is that while read­ cal climate it does not look like it will get we backed up the rhetoric- the promise of be twenty five ing about their hero they much better," Lee added. "Are we going to a public education- [because] the public in­ different reading the public includes the poor!" are learning. researching punish the children or educate them? If we cludes the poor!" Lee said. levels. What little and using the latest tech­ are going to educate we must recognize the The average teacher in the urban setting hands-on experience these teachers get - nology," Lee said. Students then analyze the barriers to learning-and deal with them." quits after two years according to statistics. student teaching while pursuing their degrees way a story is written and wri te their own For example, one of Lee's students had 13 - is in white, middle-class, suburban stories which they publish in a newspaper. different teachers during the first 13 weeks schools. according to Lee. or book report. of school. That kind of turnover creates tur­ The SUPPORT program gives the teach­ "We explain to them that these are tools moil in schools which undermines the idea ers the experience they need by putting them which can get them into, and through, col­ Students interested in applying of what a school should be and causes kids in schools under the wing of exemplary, vet­ lege," he added. for the 14 to 16 SUPPORT to lose faith in the system, according to Lee eran teachers for twenty hours a week One hundred grade school kids are cur­ fellowships available next year who took his doctorate in Educational Psy­ throughout the two year program. rently in the program and come from Anne may contact Dr. Lee at ext. chology at the University of Illinois in Chi­ "We teach them a technique, and model it Arundel's Mills Parole Elementary. Balti­ 2381. The fellowship covers cago. for them." Lee said. "They can apply it. come more County's Johnnycake Elementary and tuition and provides a living The SUPPORT program addresses these back and examine the results, then we read­ Southwest Academy. Recently the students stipend for the two year problems on three fronts: stemming teacher just the approach. Unless they get that hands have been observing the ducks, squirrels and program. Upon completing the flight: preparing teachers more adequately; on experience, they are sunk." a blue heron at the pond next to the Albin 0. program, which leads to a and providing greater access to educational Kuhn li brary and answering questions like: Master's in education, students opportunities for students, both in school and Kids at Risk Why are the squirrels getting plumper? Why are guaranteed a job and are outside of the classroom. ''A more horrific statistic is that the longer is their fur changing colors? What will the obligated to teach for three these kids stay in school the farther they fall ducks eat if the pond freezes? years, at the school in which Teacher Training behind." Lee said. "School is not the great These are all questions relating to basic ge­ they trained. Halting the exodus of teachers is a national equalizer of disadvantaged kids." ography. ecology and field observations and problem, a problem which Lee thinks is both To combat tbis phenomenon the SUPPORT are an experience that many of the students inherent in the structure of the system and program utilizes the School to University Pro- would never receive in their home schools.

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NEWS* OPINION* FEATURES.* FOCUS* SPORTS http://sta.urnbc.edu/~rtrvr/ PAGE8 OPINION ~ I--l: E Letters to the Editor ETRIEVER Editor: Much as r appreciated The Retriever's September 29 article on the Presidential Teach­ WEEKLY ing Award, it may have left the impressiop that I was the founding faculty member in UMBC's American Studies Department. In fact, when I came to the campus in 1969 it was to replace Joel Jones, who as a member of the English Department initiated the American Editor-in-Chief Opinion Editor General Manager Studies program in 1967-8, the scboors second year. John Mischke Emily Bernstein Raymond Dubicki A charismatic and energetic teacher, Joel recruited the first American Studies majors in that year. then brought a second faculty member, Jim Amquist, to the new department the following year. When Joel left UMBC to chair the American Studies Department .at the University of New Mex.ico, I was fortunate to be selected as his successor, inheriting a Alcohol Awareness Week wonderful group of students in 1969-70, among them the department's first graduating class. In honor of National Collegiate Alcohol Awareness Week we at The Retriever Weekly l am sure there are Retriever readers among our faculty, staff and alumni who would appreciate this correction. Thanks very much. would like to urge the campus community to drink responsibly. Drinking binges can cause alcohol poisoning and death. Alcohol also plays a role in 75% to 90% of campus rapes Ed Orser across the country. Professor, American Studies In addition to the negative physical and social effects, alcohol is just to expensive to abuse. The average male spends $300 per year on alcohol. It may not seem like a lot, but if a typical Editor: man lives to be seventy, he will have spent $21,000 on alcohol. Women typically spend $150 per year on alcohol. The enjoyment of alcohol only lasts a few hours (after which This lettet is in response to C.H.Lee who responded to my Letter to the Editor. you're confronted with the harsh reality of a hangover). Why not spend your money on Just for the record, Ronald Reagan and George Bush, for all the lying that they did about not selling arms for hostages and for promising not to raise "no new taxes" were hardy a something that lasts longer? role models for me when I was growing tip under their regimes. If you choose to get drunk, be sure to abide by the ·typical rules: don't drive, try not to put Secondly, Ken Starr may have been appointed by Janet Reno, but it has been quite clear yourself into stupid situations, and control your violence. Of course, the whole point of that he has gone far beyond the parameters that had been set for him. Starr has spent $40 being drunk is that you have very little control over yourself, which is why drinking is so miJJion plus investigating Whitewater, Travelgate, Filegate and has turned up NOTHING. Before the Republicans took over the Congress, an independent prosecutor had already dangerous. determined that there was nothing to the allegations concerning Whitewater, Travelgate, A majority of people feel invincible and confident when drunk. However, the sad truth is etc... bul when they took over, the Republicans were obligated to spend yet more money in that alcohol takes these things away from you -you'rejust too drunk to realize it. You may the hopes that anything that Starr could find would cause the president to Lose re-election, feel like you rule the road when you're swerving down the highway, but you put yourself, and to open the way for their candidate. Bob «Darth Vader" Dole. Polls continue to show that a majority of the American people belif?ve that the GOP authorized to spend whatever and innocent people into danger if you behave in tl!is way. of the American people's hard-earned tax money to undo the elections of 1992 and 1996 Alcohol also plays a role in 50% of nationwide arrests. Thus, the abuse of alcohol can because they can't deal with the fact that two of their candidates lost. 1 would say to all cause physical, social, and economic problems, nett to mention a lessened ability to succeed similar thinking RepubJicans. get over it. in schooL So, save yourself a lot of problems. Have fun, but if you're going to drink, drink I don't approve of the presidents actions, there's no excuse for it, but quite clearly. Ken Starr is a ruthless maverick like a Senator Joseph McCarthy from the infamous un-Ameri­ responsibly. can activites committee of the early 1950s. and like McCru:thy. Starr needs to be stopped by a few decent senators and congressmen. Unfortunately, the GOP controls congress so we don't have that right now, but maybe we will in November.

Democracy In Theory And Practice Chris Krieg

As election time approaches many of us begin to ask ourselves why we need to vote. As Americans we extol freedom of speech and the right to tell our elected officials what we think of them. But many of us fail to send any message at all when election time comes around because we choose not to vote. Democracy is actively pursued as the ideal form of Jennifer Siciliano ...... Managing Editor Retriever Weekly staff editorials reflect the government in developing countries around the world because it provides citizens with the Tracy Soltesz ...... News Editor views of the editorial board; signed columns opportunity to actively participate in their government, it is much more than a mere form of Brad Bennett ...... Asst. News Editor represent the opinions of the individual writ­ Jessica Rothfus ...... Asst. Opinion Editor ers and do not necessarily reflect those of The government, it represents the universal yearning of the governed for justice in both public Christina Sabato ...... Features Editor Retr:iever Weekly or the University of Mary­ and private affairs. With congressional and gubernatorial elections at hand, we can reflect Elaine Elgamil ...... Focus Editor land Baltimore County. and ask ourselves if our elected officials have held true to our expectations, if they have Vergil Bushnell ...... Asst. Focus Editor Letters to the editors are printed verbatim, provided the needs of their constituents, if they haven't we haven't we have a responsibility Chris Kerner ...... Sports Editor although the editors reserve the right to edit Andrew Smullian ...... Asst. Sports Editor any letter deemed lengthy, repetitive, libel­ to seek better representation. Perhaps you aren't pleased with Governor Glendening's han­ Jason Putsche ...... Photography Editor ous or otherwise in need of revision. The dling of Maryland's environmental woes, or perhaps you think Sauerbrey will do more for Amy Banowetz .... Asst. Photography Editor editors further reserve the right not to print our economy than just build stadiums, whatever your political views are, you owe it to Kimberly Brossard ...... Production Manager any Jetter for any reason. Letters to the Edi­ yourself to make a difference by participating in our great democratic process. Our democ­ Jamie Peck ...... Production Assistant tor must be typed or written legibly and in­ Carl Gehrman ...... Production Assistant clude the author's name and telephone num­ racy has come a long way and it can go a lot farther, but not without your participation. Autumn Patterson ...... Production Assistant ber. The author's name may be withheld upon Change can happen, it won't happen overnight, but it will happen, but not without your Rabiah Mayas ...... Production Assistant request. Letters must be received by 12 p.m. involvement in our democratic process. You are all at least 18, go out and make a difference Mike Mussman ...... Production Assistant on Thursday and may not exceed 400 words. on November 3 by voting. Amber Aurich ...... Copy Editor The Retriever Weekly subscribes to the Col­ Deb VanDereedt ...... Business Manager lege Press Service and publishes weekly on Rose Tipitino ...... Advertising Manager Tuesdays during the regular school year. Edi­ John Smith ...... Circulation Manager tors can be reached at 455- L260 during nor­ Dave Chen ...... Senior Photographer mal business hours or at Unjversity Center Cameron Slayden ...... "...... Cartoonist 214, 1000 Hilltop Circle, UMBC, Baltimore, Tony Fitzwater ...... Operations Manager MD 21250. The Retriever Weekly is an equal Christopher Corbett ...... Faculty Adviser opportunity employer. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION October 27, 1998 PAGE9 You Know the Nante, But Do You Know the Candidate?

Emily Bernstein This page has links to other pages covering ev­ ntion of certain words was part of the original This is less of a problem in more publicized ery office up for grabs in Maryland this elec­ statements- the emphasis is not my own. elections like the race for Governor as it is far tion, along with profiles of nearly every candi­ It amazes me that anyone can feel thaL in a easier to obtain information about each On the freezer at my mother's house in date running for those offices. And for the first time when it is the norm for kids to be ushered candidate·s platform and record. Catonsville arc three blue and white magnets time in all the months of campaigning I finally out of school at 2:30 to be at home, alone. until Most Marylanders know that Ellen Sauerbrey advertising Don Murphy and Loyd Smith, can­ got to see who is a Democrat and who is a Re­ their parents arrive home at six o'clock in the has a horrendous environmental record, but didates for the two seats District 12A holds in publican, what each candidate's priorities arc, evening, we should not be making every effort most are not aware of her position on other is- the Maryland House of Delegates. All over the and what position each takes on this year's key district, which includes most of the area sur­ issues. rounding UMBC. campaign posters for I read the profiles for Don Murphy and Loyd "The fliers that were appearing daily at my door bursted with Murphy/Smith decorate front yards, windows Smith first. It didn't take me long to sec why of businessc11 and the vacant land next to most these guys don't advertise what they stand for catch phrases such as "zero-tolerance" and issues nearly every major roads. - I can't imagine they would have nearly so citizen agrees on like better education and less crime, but none Driving down Edmonson Avenue one morn­ large a following if people actually knew their ever mentioned a party affiliation or any kind ofplan ofaction." ing, I saw two gentlemen- presumably Mr. platforms. My mom has assured me that Murphy and Mr. Smith- holding Murphy/ Murphy and Smith, both Republicans, will not Smith signs and waving at passing motorists. receive her vote- despite the lovely magnets to give them an alternative. Clearly. schools are sues. When asked about the topic of welfare, As the upcoming election is the first I'll be able -as she is aware of what they will advocate in in the best position to take on this task and af­ Saucrbrey says. ''I' U promote private sector job to vote in (I'm finally old enough) and because our legislarure if elected. ter-school activities keep our kids in a safe en­ growth by reducing taxes and job-killing regu­ I am a very politically involved person, I had a Murphy. an incumbant, vironment and provide them with something lations and improving workforce developmenl tremendous urge to pull over and speak. to states "only after we suc­ constructive to do- something that doesn't I will support enterprise zones, aid small busi­ them about some of the issues facing cessfully pro­ involve sitting around watching television or ness development, restore our wanufacturing the Maryland State Legislature. I vide running around town getting into trouble. base, and aggressively promote the Port of Bal­ didn't stop, however. partly If we do leave such programs to private fund­ timore and Maryland tourism. I'll help the because I was in a hurry, and ing, we accept that the cost that accompanies working poor with the Earned Income Tax partly because I will be vot­ them- if they develop at all -will be too Credit." Her canned response doesn't even men­ ing in District 11, not 12A, much for many parents, and many of these par­ tion welfare! I'm sure the struggling families so I wouldn't be able to cast ents will be the ones whose kids are at the high­ on welfare can appreciate a tax credit, but could a vote for either of them any­ est risk for exhibiting delinquent behavior. Keep only make real use of it if it is accompanied by way. in mind that most juvenile crime is committed job training programs and other welfare-to­ By this time, even though between 3 p.m. and 8 p.m.- the after-school work initiatives. I wouldn't be voting in their hours. It is in the best interest of society as a Governor Parris Glendening actually ad­ district, I had seen enough whole to do everything within our means to dresses the issue, rather than attempting to get of their ads that I wanted to keep our kids off the streets during those criti­ around it as his opponent did. "Our emphasis find out what their positions cal hours. has been on education and job training, and were. I quickly determined James Malone, Jr., a Democrat running employer tax incentives, to move people off that finding candidates' po­ against Murphy and Smith in District 12A, rec­ welfare compassionately. Our program is work­ sitions. and especially their ognizes that "providing our young people with ing: More than I00,000 have moved off wel­ party affilliations, in local supervised after school activities is a priority." fare, a 46 percent reduction. We will continue elections is nearly impos­ He "support[s] programs similar to Baltimore to invest savings in child care, transportation sible. The fliers that were County's Police Athletic Club (PALs) which and job training," says Glendening. People can appearing daily at my door organize safe activities for our young people. not get off welfare without the infrastrucrure to bursted with catch phrases and help keep our youth off of the streets." Pro­ make it work. something Sauerbrey fundamen­ such as "7:ero-tolerance" and grams such as this are not encouraged or even tally fails to understand. just as Murphy and issues nearly every citizen accepted by Murphy or Smith, simply because Smith fail to understand why it is so important agrees on like better educa­ they operate with public funding. to have after-school programs that are acces­ tion and less crime, but none Murphy also believes that "exporting crime sible to every child. ever mentioned a party af­ to the suburbs is the number one issue for neigh­ Before you walk into the voting booth, which filiation or any kind of plan borhoods served by the light rail.'' This is bla­ I sincerely hope you do, take some time to read of action. tant paranoia. The number one issue for neigh­ up on the candidates in your district. Ifyou don't My curiosity eventually borhoods served by the light rail should be mak­ know who they are, visit the Baltimore Sun led me beyond just reading ing it more useful to them. Many candidates in Voting Guide, the League of Women Voters of the candidates' literature, the upcoming election are focusing on expand­ Baltimore County Voting Guide (http:// which was getting me abso­ ing mass transit within the state, both to reduce www.bcplonfine.org/vote), the League of Con­ lutely nowhere in my quest pollution and to increase mobility for citi7ens servation Voters Environmental Scorecard to find their true platforms. without cars who need to commute into and out (llllp:!/scorecard.Jcv.org), or your local library and I began an exhaustive of the suburbs. Murphy and Smith arc too busy to obtain the information every voter should internet search for profiles concerning themselves with the unlikely pos­ have before making any final decisions. on anyone running for office in ~·~stu- sibility of undesirables riding into their neigh­ Anyone can vote based on name recognition, Maryland. Several sites that turned borhood to see the reality of mass transit and ~~-A AF, .. M.. :~ents with but what's the point?Take the initiative to make up in my search were essentially the education neces- the possibilities it holds. yourself an informed voter. and cast your bal­ worthless with little information about the sary to compete in the future My point in elaborating on the platforms of lot for the candidates whose views match your candidates running on the state level, and none should we consider opening our schools for these two men is to show that all too frequently. own. not for the candidate who gave you free about those running for local offices. use as PRIVATELY FUNDED day care cen­ Americans vote based on name recognition refrigerator magnets. The best site the only really comprehen- ters." On the same subject, Smith says. "let the alone. This tends to happen because we just sive one I came across - was the Baltimore schools TEACH our children; let the family and don't feel we have the time to do any research Emily Bernstein is the opinion editor ofTbe Sun Voting Guide, which can be found at http:/ private sector care for them; government should on the candidates that goes deeper than reading Retriever Weekly. !www.sunspot.net/news!speciaf!efection98. not be our 'baby sitter.,. Note that the capitali- the mailings that show up daily at our doors.

a PAGE 10 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION October 27, 1998 Choosing UMBC for the Arts: Did U Make Bad Choice? Tracy Soltesz students are fuming that they must fight to ulty members .... " In fact, the report states that, be blamed for the students' agreement to keep essential programs and resources, such "strinkingly, the Syracuse study reported that compromise. Students who attend UMBC as the Folger's Shakespeare Library, funded. research productivity was still given 'much simply because they have been offered a Many students seem to have come to a But referring to the Boyer Commission on more' weight in making decisions about pro­ scholarship, or because - as a public uni­ consensus that UMBC does not adequately Educating Undergraduates in the Research motion and tenure of faculty members than versity- UMBC's tuition cost is consider­ support its art programs following the recent University's report - Reinventing Under­ was teaching effectiveness," and that "when ably lower than other private schools, are circulation of an anonymous flier attacking graduate Education: A Blueprint for students are considered, it is the graduate stu­ essentially saying that they prioritize their this administrative problem along with other America's Research Universities, we see that dents that really matter." finances over their education. concerns. However, what students who voice UMBC is doing nothing unusual. In fact, it Students at UMBC who continue to com­ Of course, there is nothing wrong with this this concern do not realize is that it was their is acting in accordance with other research plain about the disproportionate amount of line of thinking. It is better to receive some own obliviousness to UMBC's goals that has universities. funds that go to the science programs as op- type of higher education than none at all. And put them in their current position. posed to the arts are it is weJJ known that many students do In its mission statement, UMBC identifies overlooking the fact not have the resources available to attend a itself as a. "highly selective medium-sized "No matter how much students may complain that they must really private university that specilizes in their area research university." Oft~c more than 3,500 that they were 'tricked' into thinking the UMBC blame themselves for of study. I fall into this category, as a student institutions of higher education in the United arts program was thriving, it was their own receiving a less than su­ pursuing a Bachelor of Arts at UMBC be­ States, only 125 have been classified as re­ perior education in cause I lack the necessary money to study search universities. The Carnegie Foundation responsibility to check it out ahead of time." their chosen field. elsewhere. However, I accept the fact that my for the Advancement ofTeaching has further One of the most education may not be top of the line due to narrowed the classification of research uni­ According to the report: "Another charac­ important factors for a high school student my choice. versities into two categories: ''Research I" teristic [of research universities] is the req­ to consider when choosing an institution of As the report says, ''it is obvious that not and "Res('arch II". The difference between uisite research environment, including exten­ higher education to attend is the programs it every student should, or would wish to. at­ the two is the amount of money they receive sive libraries, well-equipped laboratories, offers in relation to his or her academic in­ tend a research university." No matter how in federal support, however both are defmed sophisticated computer capabilities, and, of­ terests. A person wishing to study computer much students may complain that they were by the fact that they "offer a full range of ten, university presses, all housed in appro­ engineering would not consider attending a "tricked" into thinking the UMBC arts pro­ baccalaureate programs, are committed to priate facilities." school such as Rhode Island School of De­ gram was thriving, it was their own respon­ graduate education through the doctorate and Liberal Arts majors wonder why the Phys­ sign. Instead, the student would apply at MIT sibility to check it out ahead of time. And give high priority to research." UMBC is in ics department. which currently has 17 teach­ or Stevens Institute ofTechnology. Likewise, should they still cling to the naivety of youth category 1I, the lesser of the two, but the ad­ ers, receives a 7 story building while the En­ a student wishing to study the arts should not as their excuse for attending this school, with ministration docs not hesitate to admit that it glish department, which currently has 48 attend a school publicly devoted to research their new realized knowledge that their pro­ is striving to reach Research I status. teachers, must cram onto one floor in the Fine - specifically scientific and technological gram may be less than satisfactory, they It has been no secret that research is fa­ Arts building. But this, too, is typical accord­ research. should either accept their mistake or transfer vored at UMBC. Every time we turn around, ing to the report, which says that "because of Many students on campus may argue that to a school that is more commited to the arts. money is being used for research-related the research universities' commitment to cre­ UMBC actively recruits liberal art students projects -a new Physics building, a tele­ ate new knowledge, they consider research in an attempt to improve the program, offer­ Tracy Soltesz. is a junior and is majoring in scope for graduate research, a dancing robot capabilities as a prima.ry qualification for ing scholarships and grants to entice the stu­ political science. She is the news editor of that can deactivate landmines. Liberal Arts appointment, promotion and tenure of fac- dents. But here, again, the university cannot The Retriever Weekly. UMBC Could Satisfy Both the Artists and the Scientists ing money and linking their name with are pathetic. And the fine arts do require than pre-meds and computer nerds. And a Laura Hanyok UMBC troubles people, including myself. plenty of space. All of these new buildings university is supposed to support all of its Somehow I just don't think an institution of cause some of us to think that the sciences students well, not just those who have their For the four years I have been a student higher learning should sell its name to people are expanding while the arts and humanities research published in a scientific journal or here, the seeming apathy of the student body for scholarship money. But, if you think about are remaining static. who can play chess well. has always been as issue. I am encouraged it, everyone else does. Harvard and Yale take It has been said that the arts and humani­ I honestly don't know enough about the by the "UMBC.inc" signs around campus this money in exchange for the ability to name ties are receiving the same percentage or humanities to say something specific about year, and the efforts made by individuals to an academic building or a library; the only more of the budget this year as they have for their situation, but I do think UMBC is miss­ encourage discussion of arts and sciences difference is that they're courting rich alumni five or ten years. But the budget doesn't in­ ing how great our arts programs could be­ funding. People do care, and 1 think their instead of businesses. clude overhead from grants and donations come. Digital artists, ftlmmakers, dancers, concerns reveal a true problem. But·I think In 100 years UMBC wi II be doing the same from companies. As we've heard before, sci­ and musicians are bursting the seams of the these concerns should be examined carefully thing. This doesn't make it right, but univer­ entific research simply generates more fine arts building, and want to do so much before we assume the administration is try­ sities have to do something to survive. And money. Unfortunately, a linguistics more, but they are limited by the facilities ing to kill the arts and humanities. you know, the fact that corporations want to professor's grant will never be as large as a and the numbers of classes offered. While Before [ go any .further, I would like to be associated with UMBC says something biochemist's. And a significant part of the students in the sciences usually undertake research alongside professors, the arts and explain the life of a science major here. Those about us. The only prob------• concerned about arts funding often argue that lem is that the publicity "About 60 percent of us are science majors, humanities characteristically require more too much money is going to science. I am generated only high­ independent endeavors. This is why those majoring in biology. and though a great deal lights what these compa­ but that means that 40 percent of us are not. students need more room for themselves. and of grant money is being generated by the bi­ nies are funding (usually Overhead and corporate grants are the not just for the Gallery exhibits or twice a year theater productions. ology faculty, I do not believe much of that technology education), university's money, so I don't see why it is improving a regular major's education. We instead of all of the I have seen a Jot of interesting. quality work still have scheduling problems and pray that things that happen here. shouldn't give more ofthe net profit to the arts going on since I've been here, but it seems to we'll get into the lab section we need; other­ Though they may and humanities." be largely ignored by the rest of the campus wise, we'll be stuck here an extra year like mainly see the science community. With a little money to improve many VPA majors. and technology, there is so much more to our university's income from grants is used for the facilities and performance series, more Our first and second year classes are held school that makes it a unique place. heating, maintenance, common supplies for classes, and (gasp!) perhaps a new building in lecture halls of 200 people. and although Nothing I have said so far addresses how researchers, and all of those cabbages on cam­ to accommodate just the visual arts, UMBC our professors may want to help us aU, it is funds are allocated to departments. I think pus. would become a significant part of contem­ impossible. Classes of this sit.e are umhink­ the students' concerns on this subject arc best But what about the other money left over? porary art. dance. tl .:ater. and music in Bal­ ablc at private colleges, even those with sev­ illustrated by the buildings on campus. In How is that allocated? J think the adminis­ timore and heyond. We would become an eral thousand students, and if our science de­ ibree or four years. when the physics build­ tration should take a hard look at where the even better institution if we were known not partments arc generating so much overhead ing is complete and a new engineering build­ profits from grant overhead and corporate only for our science and technology. but also from grants, I challenge them to hire more ing goes up. every major science and tech­ donations are going, and allow stlldents to for our excellent arts and humanities (smnt:­ teaching professors to reduce class sizes. This nology discipline will have its own building. do so as well ( 1 do not know if this informa­ body else will have to expound on the hu­ would really make a difference in every Meanwhile, English. Philosophy. Women's tion is public record - it may be). About 60 manities' virtues). student's education. not just those who are Studies. Ancient Studies. American Studies. percent of us are science majors, but that As students we are taught to be well­ lucky enough to work in the well-funded re­ Music, Dance. Theater. and all the Visual Arts means that 40 percent of us are not. Over­ rounded and to strive for excellence in all search laboratories. lt may be that science is inhabit one building. head and corporate grants are the university's disciplines; shouldn't our university set a getting more than its fair share, but that Granted. philosophers and ancient studies money, so I don't see why it shouldn't give good example and do the same? money does not seem to be affecting the edu­ professors do not need as much space as a more of the net profit to the arts and humani­ cation of undergraduates. chemist and his lab. But the cramped, shared ties. If for no other reason, artists are a hell Laura Hanyok is a senior and is majoring in Technology companies' interest in donat- offices of some part time English professors of a lot more likely to voice their complaints Biology. ------

THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION October 27, 1998 PAGE 11 ''I Wake Up in the Morning and I Think... I'Dl Fat. · No, Wait... I'm Better." GabeMarcus Barbie or My Little Pony to play with, while beauty. If. a link between television violence boys were given Transformers or GI Joe. I and actual violence can be proven, then por­ standing still. Though I lack experience in don't have an unrealistic idea that others ex­ trayal of supposed beauty and the prima fa­ this department, how can one heroine be ex­ The UMBC community has heard this pect me to be able to transform into a car or cja acceptance and imitation should be as pected to kick, jump and shoot evil people commercial for the Center for Eating Disor­ that I should battle the forces of evil at every easily proven. when her breasts extend further than her out- ders at St. Joseph's Medical Center enough turn. Why do some think girls get their defi­ While watching a B-grade television show, stretched elbows? The character Seven of to start quoting it in casual conversations. nition of self from Barbie? Other than inject­ a male character promised his other male Nine on Star Trek: Voyager is another ex­ which means its entirely too overplayed. ing the phrase "Knowing is half the battle," friend he had fJXed him up with a "fox." I ample. The actress's costume is (hopefully) Recently though, the commercial has into my memory, GI Joe has done very little normally don't wonder what the next scene augmented in an effort to attract a specific changed. The girl now says "I'm better,"That for me. will bring, but that night I did. I wondered type of viewer to boost ratings. Gone are the made me happy. I thought "Awww, the girl I am not trying to lessen the seriousness of what the woman would look like. Images of glory days of Star Trek: The Next Genera- is better." What really gets me is the girl says bulimia or anor- · beauty flashed in tion, when women wore pants and everyone "l walk into class and think, I'm better." That exia. I sympa­ my mind, and I but the ships counselor (whose outfit had an someone could be sitting right next to me. thize with those "Breasts should be truly important to was sorely dis­ unbelievably low neckline) bad a normal The commercial actually began to make me who suffer from only one clllss ofpeople. I'm talking appointed and uniform. wonder about anorexia and bulimia. Grow- these two dis- somewhat angry Large breasts don't make a· woman more ing up in a semi-rural town in Virginia, I eases. I'll not go about one specific group of tiny when the charac­ beautiful. Breasts should be truly important didn't know anyone in my middle or high into the serious people whose lives depend on them." ter they por­ to only one class of people. I'm talking about school who suffered through these diseases. health conse- t~ayed was one specific group of tiny people whose lives I only saw them dramatized on shows such quences of each, since most people don't blonde and large breasted. First, I wondered depend on them. Someone needs to create a as "My So-Called Life," and made for TV want to think about what happens to food "Who casts these people?" Large breasted bumper sticker which reads "Breasts are for movies. The overdramatizaiton was whiny after it passes between the lips. I know I blondes saturate television, especially B­ babies, not presidents." enough to make me ignore the whole thing. couldn't bring myself to donate my recently grade television shows (which also saturate Beauty is not simply "thin and blond and Coupled with the charge that the whole thing eaten meal to the toilet or not eat at all. I tried television). Diversity is definitely lacking in skin-deep" as another writer for this publi­ was a product of unrealistic male demands fasting once for its supposed feeling of clar­ B-grade movies. cation previously said. The cosmetology and and the image of Barbie, I stopped listening ity. Ha! The only thing I could see clearly Through television characters, males are plastic surgery market will suffer immensely, altogether. The charges made against Barbie was the delicious food others were eating. being portrayed as only liking large breasted but an effort should be made to portray intel­ and men in general were too ridiculous to be Dolls just aren't intense enough to satu­ blond women. This is very bothersome! Lara ligent women with average bodies who don't taken seriously. If Barbie had that much rate the mind of a young child. Something Croft, the computer animated star of the PC apply an incredible amount of makeup. power over girls, why didn't GI Joe have so else that pervades almost all American house­ game "Tomb Raider" has incredibly large much power over boys? holds is responsible. The media deserves breasts, not to mention the fact that he chest Gabe Marcus is a junior majoring in emer­ When I was growing up, girls were given some credit for the incorrect concepts of is perpetually heaving, even when she is gency health services. r------~~~~ vQUAD

Jean Carson, 21 English "INHALE!"

l Adrian Britt0n, 20 Fifm I Pl9oto Listen ~nd consider my voters' opinions, keep my integr~ty strong, out mainly: Krss hands and shake babies, PAGE12 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION October 27, 1998 Matthew Shepard and the Evils of Intolerance

recover and li ve. Besides showing a complete was also property. In fact for a good portion Laura Lanasa lack of respect for the dead, these so-called of this century, there were more laws to pro­ Christians victimized his family and friends. tect animals from abuse, than women and There is too much hate, ignorance, and in­ How can they call themselves Christians children. By today's standards, all of these tolerance in this world. Hearing about the when they blatantly ignore the teachings of occurrences represent gross injustice. Yet death of Matthew Shepard forced me to ac­ Christ? Did they forget to love thy neigh­ there are many people who believe it's okay knowledge how inhumane we humans actu­ bor? to dehumanize and kill a homosexual. ally are. I freely admit that I no longer subscribe to One of Matthew Shepard's murderers said When I look in the mirror every morning I any organized religion. In fact I am probably that Matthew had come on to him. Even if see a person-the only person I wiJI always what others would consider Agnostic. Per­ Matthew did make a pass at one of his mw·­ have to live with. My features may not be haps we monotheists have mislabeled our­ derers, does that give any of them the right aesthetically pleasing. My mind m&.y not be selves as God's Children, since we clearly to kill or use violence? For the vast majority as briiJiant as I wish it were. But no matter do not treat people who are different from us of heterosexuals, that answer is no. Unfortu­ how critical of myself I am, I know someone as our brothers and sisters. The only other nately some people would answer yes. else can judge me more harshly based solely explanation is that God could have a few bas­ As for those acerebral knuckle-draggers the on my walk:, my manner of dress, my verbal tard children - you know people put here evolution train left behind, I have a few sug­ capacity, and/or what he or she perceives to on earth for the sole purpose of being tor- gestions. Ifsomeone who is gay makes a pass be my sexuality. A person might look at the way I dress and think "What a loser." That person probably "Members of the G.L.B.T. (Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Transgendered) wouldn't think "wow, I bet she's comfort­ community hear the slurs made against them. We hold our heads able." Another student might hear me talk in class or even read this article and think "what up, so they cannot be pushed down or smothered in shame. We a moron." And anyone who sees me flirt with are caUed sick, evi~ immoral, unfit, ungodly and deserving ol another woman might think "she's one of those evil dykes." It is the latter kind ofjudg ­ death. But who has the right to decide who lives or dies?" mental thought pattern that allowed for the cold blooded murder of Matthew Shepard. mented, spit on, humiliated, desecrated and at you, feel flattered and politely tell him or the world as a whole. How can we call our­ Gays and lesbians are spat on daily. Mem­ murdered. I guess at this point in time those her you are not interested. That person will selves humans if we continue to teach hate bers of the G.L.B.T. (Gay, Lesbian, Bi, children are homosexuals. understand and move on and you will have and fear as part of our values and morality in Transgendered) community hear the slurs Historically there were more illegitimate behaved maturely and shown confidence in place of humanity? made against them. We hold our heads up, children, but with the rise in social desirabil­ your own sexuality. so they cannot be pushed down or smothered ity to be politically correct, there bas at least Until every one of us can look in the mir­ Laura Lanasa is a senior and is majoring in shame. We are called sick, evil, immoral, been an effort or facade of legitimacy granted ror and see our own faults, we cannot judge in psychology and sociology. unfit, ungodly and deserving of death. But to a few groups in the United States. others for theirs. And if we don't accept our­ who has the right to decide who lives or dies? Prior to the Civil War, African Americans selves, we won't ever truly accept anyone. So called Christians were picketing Mat­ were chattel, and could be killed by slave­ What happened to Matthew Shepard is a Petition on behalf of Matthew Shepard: thew Shepard's funeral, while true Christians masters. Until the early 1900's a woman tragedy. However, this tragedy is not confined page 18 and Non-Christians had prayed for him to could be killed by her husband, because she to the G.L.B.T. community, but reaches to The Lion, The Witch and The Suspension: One Girl's Tale Jessica Rothfus part of the Wiccan religion, but the term witch classroom. There shouldn't be designated time credibility. For someone who doesn't believe in brings in so many other negative cultural im­ for prayers or any school-imposed dicates re-. witchcraft, she puts an extreme amount of faith ages. Portions of society still view witches as garding worship practices. If a student finds a into it. As election day approaches, it becomes in­ something to be feared or as something evil. quiet, unobtrusive way toworship (silent prayers, It all boils down to high school stupidity. The creasingly important to question our political interaction with nature), then so whole situation was based on rumors. which is values, and the direction in which our state is be it. But, the school should why Jamie's suspension was cancelled in less moving. Recently, in Maryland news, we've uThe case ofthis high school girl allegedly have no part in religion. We than 24 hours. Schoonover has requested to be learned that a ninth grader at Southwestern High have laws that state this. Why transferred to another school because of the School, Jamie Schoonover, has requested to be putting a spell on a fellow student should shouldn't they be consistently media attention, and her request has been and will be transferred to another school because have been more thoroughly investigated, enforced'? granted. of the terrible experience she had after being and all the facts given, rather than putting I knO\\ of Christians (both However. the situation proves that communi­ accused of putting a spell on another student. nO\\ and in high school) who ties have a lot of trouble treating those who arc Jamie and a group of friend:> were writing a constant focus on sexual labels and make a point of preaching to ev­ percetved as dtffercnt in an equal fashiOn. The their names in white ink on stones. lndi\ iduals misunderstood spiritual practices." eryone. and bringing their reli­ case of this high school girl allegedly putting a stated that Jamie wrote Jennifer Rassen ·s name gious views into the classroom. spell on a fello\\ student should have been more on a stone, crossed it out with black ink. and The} warn non-believers about thoroughly investigated, and all the facts given. then wrote the phrase "is life a virtue of death?'' There are even some who continue to equate the fire and evil of Hell, and seem delighted if rather than putting a constant focus on sexual From the beginning, the news media pounced witchcraft with satanism. they frighten someone into accepting God as a labels and misunderstood spiritual practices. The on the most controversial parts of the story, while Ce1tainly, her status as a witch is a necessary savior. I don't believe in Hell, thus, how can I ideal purpose of the media is to inform. and it simultaneously excluding details which would detail for any news story. However, the terms be sent there? If something doesn't exist for me, completely missed the mark by not providing better inform readers. Jamie's parent, Colleen, witch and Wiccan should have been further de­ why should it frighten me? further details about Wiccan beliefs and prac­ is a transexual. She bas been forced to field ques­ fined and discussed. Most are at least vaguely Similarly, Jennifer Rassen and her family tices. If the case had involved a Christian girl tions about her sexual identity, and bas agreed familiar with the beliefs and practices of Chris­ don't believe in witchcraft. yet Rassen was ex­ with two ordinary, heterosexual parents, who was to provide pictures of herself when she was a tianity. Judaism, Buddhism. etc. Wiccan, how­ tremely upset when she found out that she bad accused of spiritually threatening an atheist, I man. But what does her parent's sexual identity ever, is a faith and practice which most simply supposedly had a spell cast on her, and pro­ doubt the outcome would've been the same. have to do with Jamie's Wiccan beliefs? don't understand, nor do many people seem to claimed that she couldn't get Jamie's voice out In addition. Jamie is consistently referred to want to take the time to try to understand it. of her head. In this case, I think Rassen makes Jessica Rothfus is the assistant opinion editor as a witch. Granted, she is a witch as she is a I think religion needs to remain outside of the the ''spell" important. She gives it strength and o/The Retriever Weekly.

A:g rree w it·h this statement:? it in umbc-C>rg.retriever. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS October 27, 1998 PAGE13

oting is like dinner, have it now, or go to bed • hungry. If you don't vote this year, expect to spend the next few • Who Are These People? years griping to yourself about the elected officials. We voters don't : want to hear it. Your excuses have become staler than movie pop- • com. This year, schedule an hour and a half for voting - enough : A Comprehensive Look at Candidates' Positions time to drive, to wait in line, to chat with the pleasant election judges • TRACY SOLTESZ manufacturing base, and aggressively pro­ and finally, to cast your ballot. Better yet, this year, come informed : Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff mote the Port of Baltimore and Maryland too. Read up on these clowns that parade themselves on lawn post- • tourism. I'll help the working poor with the ers, television mudslinging ads and campaign road trips. Do a little digging into their • Although there is a lengthy list of position Earned Income Tax Credit. pasts, especially since action says a lot more than words. It's very nice that Glendening • which voters wiJI need to fill, in the interest 0 Taxes: With 70 percent of the income and Sauerbrey are pro-education (it would be a cold day in hel1 if an anti-education • of space, I have outlined only a few of tax reduction in effect next year, state supporter was elected), but what will they do for us in office? What kind of a job market • the major positions below. Each revenues wiU begin to fall behind can they support for Maryland? Most of us will graduate within the next five years and • candidate was asked several the overall economy. Will you discover that a world exists beyond classes. Pick your candidate as if you were picking • questions by the League of try to maintain the same level your husband or wife; no one wants to be stuck with a criminal, a lazy bum or a person- • Women Voters pertaining to of state services? How? If ality-free character. At least in marriage there's the hope of divorce (e.g. Hillary can • important campaign issues. not, what will you cut? leave Bill a lot quicker than the American people can). After you make your decision • The following are the an­ Glendening: The personal about the candidates, act upon your anger, approval, disappointment and shock (from • swers given by both the tax cut will be offset by in­ discovering what goes on in the world). Don't give Candi9ate Joe Schmoe the satisfac- • Democratic and Republi­ creased revenues the state tion of winning because you didn't have the time to fill in the dots. Someone has to be • can primary winners who is enjoying as a result of governor. or senator. but it does not have to be just anyone. • • will appear on the General our strong economy. We •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Election ballot: have invested signifi­ cantly in education, librar­ Governor ies, community revitaliza- Imaginary Electi~n Candidates The Governor of Mary­ tion and child1·en · s health land is responsible for the programs. We must continue NAOMI CHANG Best known for: Popcorn overall conduct of the state's to be an efficient but compas­ Rerrie•·er Weekly Sraf!Wrirer "Let's face it, folks. The general situation affairs such as making appoint­ sionate government. concerning the health of Americans every­ ments. proposing legislation. oper­ Saue1·brey (left): With Surely the political platforms of Parris and where is bad. Just look at what we eat. With ating the budget, signing enacted bills such a small tax cut, state revenues will Ellen have become so familiar that you can all of the sweet, sticky carbos produced by into law or vetoing them and granting par­ not fall as long as the economy grows even provide half-baked generalities on their is­ generic-label companies, we've all begun to dons and commutations of sentences. Parris modestly- as demonstrated by the present sues to any half-listening individual. But what produce highly visible cellulite in our faces. N. Glendening, Maryland's current Gover­ surplus, resulting not from tax. increases but do you knoV\ of the others that could have hands, and even eyelids. And Marylanders nor. won the Democratic primary. His run­ from an improved national economy. I will, run for Maryland's governor? The following eat no better. Consider the amount of Old Bay ning mate. Kathleen Kennedy Townsend is however, hold growth of state spending list of candidates might have had the poten­ that provides a high surface area for fat and the state's cuiTent Leuitenant Gover- below growth of family income. tial to become the governor elect: but then cholesterol molecules to latch onto. There is nor. Ellen R. Sauerbrey won the 0 Environment: What again they might not. Each has submitted a only one way to curb our declining health: Republican prin1ary and is run­ are your priorities for protect­ shon statement highlighting one of his/her eat more popcorn. I know that mere has been ning with Richard D. Bennett ing and improving Mary- own platform topics. Be an educated voter concern over the fat in butter, but with all of as her Lt. Governor. The can­ land's environment? and decide for yourself where your loyalties the fiber you will have ingested, fat content didates answered the follow- Glendening: I have have swayed. won' t be a problem. My plan would be to ing questions: worked with the legisla­ replace at least 53.61 percent of the state's 0 Welfare: Some recipi­ ture to fight Pfiesteria, Frankie Sinatra wheat-based foods with popcorn-based ents will hit the 2-year limit passed Brownfields leg­ Party affiliation: Rat Pak foods." on temporary assistance in islation to clean up con­ Current position held: Lounge singer the next year and be re­ taminated industrial sites Best known for: Taking on a skewed resem­ Margaret Thatcher quired to find work. What and protected Maryland's blance (by name only) to the late Frank Party affiliation: Conservative should the government do to air, water and open spaces. Sinatra; singing consistently out of tune. Current position held: former Prime Minis­ encourage more jobs that pay We will continue to be ag- "I've been doing the lounge scene for as ter of Great Britain livable wages? gressive in protecting the long as my memory can function. So let me Best known as: "The Iron Lady" Glendening (right): Our environment, protecting our give some spits o' worldly advice to you cats "If I've been able to govern all of Great Brit­ emphasis has been on education clean air and clean water and out there. I know a whole lot about tbe engi­ ain, I can certainly govern a state as small as and job training and employer tax reducing sprawl. neering of a martini and other complicated Maryland. Education is one of my top pri­ incentives, to move people off wel­ Saoerbrey: I'll implement drinks. And people think that those skills are, orities. And not just for students who attend fare compassionately. Our program is a comprehensive plan to restore the like, so nontransferable. But think about it­ an educational institution, but for the entire working: More than 100,000 have moved off Chesapeake Bay, including re-population drinks require accurate proportions of ingre­ general population.of this state. Each indi­ welfare, 46 percent reduction. We will con­ with submerged aquatic vegetation and dis­ dients, and I've got a natural finesse for pro­ vidual will take courses in Victorian-style tinue to invest savings in child care, trans­ ease-resistant oysters, properly monitor sew­ portions. Proportions- that's all it takes to behavior, including lessons in modesty and portation and job training. age treatment facilities, eliminate spreading balance the budget and reduce taxes." courtesy. I'm certain that this program will Sauerbrey: I'11 promote private sector job sewage sludge where it could pollute under­ help to curb destructive behavior, bad hair­ growth by reducing taxes and job-killing ground or surface water, improve air quality Orville Redenbacher dos, and other manifestations - including regulations and improving workforce devel­ through roadside emissions sensors and pro- Party affiliation: Snacky Foods opment. I will support enterprise zones, aid Current position held: Agriculture visionary see IMAGINARY, page 14 small business development, r:estore our see CANDIDATES, page 14 PAGE14 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS October 27, 1998 Know Your Candidates frotn CANDIDATES, page 13 doing so. Quotes from the Quad Pierpont: Low key supreme position for Who are you voting I supporting for Governor? vide nutrient management incentives for U.S.A. Consideration of long term aims and farmers. necessary flexibility to carry these out using photos by Gabe Marcus a global perspective. We must be constantly U.S. Senate aware of our goals for human rights, free and A Maryland Senator holds his or her posi­ fair trade, respect for private property. Move tion for six years and shares responsibility carefully but fmnly on decisions which pro­ with the House of Representatives for legis­ tect always the U.S.A. lating the nation's Jaws in accordance to the Vijay Kadombi U.S. Constitution. Democrat Barbara Ann Comptroller 1~ Mikulski and Republican Ross Z. Pierpont The Comptroller must exercise general Theater won the primary elections in their respective superintendence over the fiscal affairs of the Freshman parties. The candidates answered the follow­ state. preparing plans for the improvement ing questions: and management of revenue to support the Glendenning. I don't like Sauerbrey 0 Welfare: What planning would you credit. William Donald Schaefer will be run­ taking money from the NRA, voting propose to meet the needs of welfare recipi­ ning on the Democrat ticket and Larry Mark against environmental issues in ents who cannot become self sufficient within Epstein will be running on the Republican state legislature. the five· year cut off for benefits? ticket. The candidates were asked to answer Mikulski: Welfare should be a way to bet­ a question on efficiency. ter life. not a way of life. We should make 0 Efficiency: What measures for greater sure people are self-sufficient by providing efficiency would you take? job training and day care, extending time lim­ Schaefer: I an1 committed to continuing its for people to pursue beneficial educational and building upon the successful efforts of opportunities. and protecting tbe health care the Offtce of the Comptroller to usc advances safety net for kids. in technology to siruplify for citizens the Pierpont: Welfare, enacted by the Demo­ State's income tax procedures and insure that crat party as a "pay 'em-forget 'em" play for the State's system of financial controls is the votes resulted in family breakup and paid il­ most effective and efficient possible ... legitimacy. Republican welfare reform action Epstein: To do what is necessary to make has reduced paid dependency materially to­ Maryland a more business-friendly state and Jean Carson ward responsibility. We should continue with to attract businesses with high-paying jobs; 21 a Governor Thompson (Wisconsin) approach. to audit state agencies to determine areas of English with support needed. waste and to develop means of eliminating Junior 0 International Relations: As the only same; to review state expenditures to make remaining international superpower, what sure taxpayers are getting full value. Anyone who's not Sauerbrey. should be the role of the United States in the She's the anti-Christ United Nations and the world community? As noted above, this is an abbreviated list­ Mikulski: America must take the lead in ing of the candidates and the questions pro· securing peace. deterring aggression, sup­ posed to them. For answers to additional porting democracy. upholding human rights, questions as weU as positions given by can­ improving the environment, protecting didates running for other offices, check out health, halting proliferation of weapons of The Baltimore Sun's voting guide on their mass destruction and combating terrorism. website at http://www.sunspot.net or take a Achieving these goals is hampered by our look at the Democracy Network's Digital failure to pay our U.N. dues and I advocate Debate at hllp:!lwww.dnet.org. Know Your Fake Candidates Derrick Longo, 21 from/MAG/NARY. page 13 fade into the dark and always do as I com­ Computer Science mand. As your supreme leader. your indi­ Senior instances like the one in Washington involv­ vidual opinions are merely flecks of lint and "As soon as a candidate comes ing the President. Certainly such an ordeal obviously cannot amount to much. Remem­ along with an original idea, which would never have happened if my program ber only this: You cannot think without my will actually rejuvenate current po­ were being used, either that or everything extraordinary advice, you cannot do anything litical structure, then I'll be more would have been kept under wraps better.'' without my extraordinary advice. Therefore. than happy to go out and vote. Oth­ your existence cannot be complete without erwise, it's a regurgitation of clas­ Dogbert me. Vote for me, follow me, worship me." sical political nonsense and a Party affiliation: Dogs waste of my time.'' Current position held: Unassuming "pet" As you can sec, these individuals are or Best known for: "Exorcising lhe demons of high quality. Just remember voters, your de­ stupidity'' (http://www.unitedmedia.com) cision does count. unless you allow for The ·'Always being right, I can make the most Pushy and The Selfish (lobbyists) to control difficult decisions with the same ease as wa­ the aspects and the representation of real Iife ter being siphoned out of a fishbowl. Put your through TV commercials. Choose wisely. trust in me, or at least let your sensibilities

Brock Posner 19 Help us History Sophomore-Junior

Sauerbrey for two reasons. One, she's in favor of education and help you. two, she looks like Blanche off the Golden Girls. W r i t e f o r u s a n d e a r ·n cash. Call x12.. 6 •o for further info r ·m at ion . .-:". ~ -.:- THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS October 27, 1998 PAGE 15

Ellen Sauerbrey: A Vote for Change New Polling System Easy, One Student:S Opinion Efficient from ELECTION, Page 1 BY MARK TYLER like College Park. UMAB and UMBC in­ judge. Be sure to fill out both sides of the creased procurement autonomy and flex­ ballot. or the past 32 years. Maryland ibility to establh;h their own programs. Districts and your voter identification num­ On Election Day. the polls open at 7 a.m. has been led by people of a They should be de-regulated - freed to ber. and close at 8 p.m. Voting must be done at similar ideological back compete. not constrained by 50-year-old Registration is permanent, so there is no your assigned voting place, which as stated ground. We ha\'C been led procurement rule" and budget processes." need to re-register each year. However, the before. is listed on your voter notification down the Jist of states to the 0 "Expanding partnerships and eliminat­ election board should be notified if your name card. Fpoint\~ here Maryland ha~ been ranked last ing regional divisions in higher education. or address changes or you wish to change Many of the local polling locations were in new job growth. Crime is plaguing our Specifically. support for expanded joint de­ your pm1y aftiliation. Should you move out­ changed Lhis year. So if you recently received streets and our ta~cs arc among the highest gree programs, joint faculty appointments; side of the state, or into a new jurisdiction a new voter notification card, be sure to check in the country. Republican candidate Ellen and overlapping Board of Visitors'' within the state- such as a move to another the listed location. If you are unsure if your Saucrhrcy offers Mmyland a fresh altema­ Saucrbrey also has a strong plan to curb county- you will need to re-register with the location changed. or you have lost your card. ti\e. the problem of crime, which is plaguing election board within your new jurisdiction. contact the local Board of Supervisors of On the bsuc ot education, SaucrhrC) ha-, our state. With her running mate, Richard Elections l·or Baltimore County Supervisors, advoc<~ted ::.cvcwl t'l!fomlS to strengthen our Bennett. a fonner prosecutor. Saucrbrey Get Out and Vote call (410) 887-5700. o.,chools. Ending ~oct.tl promotion, a s) s­ has ad\'OCated restnctmg pre trial release~. The "good 'ole days" of lever-type voting Qualified \'Otcrs may make w riuen requests tem that h.ts allowed students to be pru;scd plea-bargainmg and parole of violent cnmi­ machines at Mary:and polls are over. These for absentee ballots ifLhcy cannot get to their from gmJe to grade C\ en if they fall all their na1s. A simple reason for these needed re­ days. voters can expect to use a paper ballot polling place on Election Day. Regular ab­ cJa.,scs. will help keep our students from fonm; \\ould he to keep these criminals off and scanner to voice their desires. The ne"" sentee requests would have had to have been falling hchind. Saucrbrc) has also advo­ of our streets. She also bcJic~;cs in cnact­ system. called Optech III. uses a computer received b) October 27. but emergency bal­ cated the mcorporation of phonics in ev­ mg mandatory :.cotcndng for felons caught tabulated mark sense voting system. Voters lots arc still available. You may apply for an ery school. a tc,tehing tcchm4ue that has with guns. Certainly. anyone who has a can record their votes by connecting the ar­ emergency ballot tf: you find out after the been scientihcall) prmen to help student<; record of criminal activit) should not he row on the balloL card to their chosen candi­ deadline that you must be absent from the read at earlier ages. She is alsl1 planning to allowed to have a lerhal weapon. like a gun. date \\itb a special pen. When finished. the county where you arc registered; you have a '\COd education appropriations directly into As Sauerhrey bas said. "Marylanders voter inserts their ballot into a scanner. each sudden illness or accident; you have a death the clas<;room. and not into ballooning should not be afraid to walk the streets or vote is automatically counted and stored and or serious illness in your immediate family; school bureaucracies. sbop the malls." l know I would feel safer a printout of the election made. you have a physical disability or are confined To help Maryland overcome problems with Sauerbrey as governor. If you are confused by this new system, in or restricted to an institution; you are a with attracting new business growth, Sauerbrey's opponents have done what you may fill out a.demonstration ballot be­ full time student at a college outside your pre­ Sauerbrey has advocated both a reduction they can to derail her positive message for fore casting your official vote. Sin1ply ask cinct hut within your county and academic of our state"" income tax rate and the es­ change. They have run television ads one of the election judges for the trial ballot. requirements prevent you from being present tablishment of "job teams·· to target job which, besides attacking her personally, If, when casting your official ballot, you are on election day. killing regulations. especially for small play on the politics of fear to preserve the still are confused and make a mistake, you To obtain an emergency absentee ballot, businesses. She believes in reducing real status quo. We should keep in mind that may request a replacement ballot from the contact your local election board by phone. estate settlemt'nt taxes so that it is more Sauerbrey, former public school teacher. affordable for everyone to purchase a home. truly believes that her plan for education High·tcch economic growth. based on at­ will make schools places of learning for tracting skilled. high pa) ing jobs requires students because she plans to priorititc the an educated "'ork force. This is why needs of the students and not bureaucra­ Sauerbre) is strongly ad\ocating strength­ cies. Her economic plan is aggressive anti ening our school system while pushing for will most like!) help pay for some in­ economic de,cJopmcnt. creased spending. As univcrsit) students. w c should he We should keep in mind that lowering a\\ arc of Sauerhrey's intentions for higher income taxes and ending high taxes on se­ education in Mar) land. Like her p9sition nior citizens· retm:mcnt money "ill en­ on our puhlit. s<:hool :-.ystcm, Sauerbrey has courage more people to stay and ~pend thdr advocated making our university system money in MaT) land rather than leave to work fo1 the students and not similar bu­ other sLates. Indeed, through targeted tax reaucracies. She has proposed a five point reductions and the fostering of economic program directed to\\nnls higher education. development, the amount of money the As provided from her headquarters, govemment receives through taxes ~an he :J ·'Merging the Uniwrsity of Maryland expected to rise. System and the ~taryland lligher Educa­ I\\ ould encourage everyone to overlook tion system. signiltcantly reducing the bu­ the mudslinging and look at the candidates reaucracy in both agencies: most slates proposals. I believe that when ~ ou do. you don't ha.,c ~uch a t\\oO headed structure" will see that Saucrhrcy is a good choke :J ·'Appl) ing cost savings from culling for .Maryland. She\\ ill strcngt.hen our edu­ bureaucracy to help fund the state's com­ cational system for student:.. at all levels. mitment to higher education. including the She will foster job gro\\Lh ""hich \\ill help Flagship Partnership for Excellence.'' us as student<> when we graduate and he­ :1 "Mixing fixed. multi-year funding gin the JOb hunt. And she will help us feel commitment\ to these instituuons "'ith ac­ afcr as she will lead a toughened war countabilit) goals and slop nucro-manag­ against criminals in this state. r ask for your ing them." vote for Sauerbre) on November 3. h will :1 ··Gi\ ing majl.lr research institutions. be a vote for change, ,\change Maryland most desperately needs. Students from various political student organizations on campus were asked to submitarticles on their political party's candidates. This was the only submission that was received. PAGE16 Oct. 27, 1998 FEATURES • [insert name here] DisOrientation • pparently. precious few of you want the power of designating a holiday. We do, however, have enough entries to have a win­ ner and a nmner-up, and I suppose that's all we really need. Local bands and Students Although ~d think that at least the bunch of kids we had origi­ nally would continue to enrer. I've been combing thrift stores andA yard sales for prizes. 1 swear. Rock at the RATT for T heatre And let me explain something: The suggestion had been made and passed on to me that I solicit certain on-campus establishments to lr) to strike a deal BROOKE SUMMERS TheatreCOM. The entrance fee to that shows amazing promise. On for better prizes. Tcould do this. but I believe [cue inspirational, patriotic mu­ Retriever Weekly Staff Writer this event was a more- than-reason­ Edge will appear at the Chop Shop sic) that this contest was founded on certain principles. Those principles in­ able three dollars, or two with the in Baltimore on November 18. They clude the right for the campus community to submit entries enabling them to Last Thursday night at the RATT, donation of a canned good. offered lively,jumpin' punk sounds expand their creativity, and in the process. giving me and the entire UMBC local bands came out to support the DisOrientation featured not only live and wonderful covers, such as their campus community a few laughs, a few tears (not that that's ever happened), unforgettable version of·'Leavin' on and the joy of seeing a half-cooked idea that you- the reader- hatched, in Theatre Council of Majors music, but also a costume sale, print for 10,000 people to read. (TheatreCOM) at "DisOrientation" where one could obtain some nifty a Jet Plane," not to mention all the Another part of that deal is that for the hard work of the victor, the spoils in an incredible evening of music frocks. The benefits from the sale of Irish Karate needed to make a great shall be prizes of dubious cleanliness and questionable legal origin. That's and fun to benefit Theatre at UMBC. costumes, sodas, candy apples and, party. They were not only at the part of the beauty of it. It's kitsch, it's nostalgia, it's not supposed to be taken The night proved to be an amazing ofcourse, Landbeck's famous cook­ RATT to show their stuff, however; seriously. I believe that if the prizes were real, like say. new cars, dinners at exhibition of area talent and proof ies, went to funding TheatreCOM they delivered an important message fancy restaurants, etc .. yeah, I'd get more entries, but the integrity and novelty of what students are capable of do­ activities. to all that attended that night: Keep of creating bizarre entries and receiving bizarre prizes would be lost. ing for the love of their art. Inside, the house was brimming Theatre alive and send funding So, there it is. And I'm sorry if there are a bunch of people out there who Upon entering the RXI'T, one was with the punk stylings ofUMBC stu­ where it's needed. would want groovy prizes, who have stacks of un-subrnitted entries because greeted with the smiling face of Sara dents Kyle Riley, Neil Jones, Brian Another fabulous local band that they deem my prizes unworthy, but the principles of this contest remain fll1ll, and I do have at least one entrant every week. To that entrant, "Thank you." To Landbeck, one of the organizers of Befano, and Lawrence Proudfoot of the rest of you, "Good luck winning your car, suckers." the event and a member of the On Edge, a Frederick-based group see THEATRE CONCERT. page 22 On arelated note-but possibly unrelated-will the winners of past weeks please come to claim their prizes? The best time is Wednesday after 1 p.m. Last week. you were asked to create a holiday and explain it to us. The runner-up bad a holiday which. although imaginative and conceived through a Straitjacket for Previn Sonata; wacky misunderstanding. I personally find useless. because every rug I have attempted to own has met with a bad end for reasons Twish not to discuss. "l was sitting around complaining about how atheists and agnostics never get any good holidays to celebrate when I could have sworn a friend of mine Playstation for Shaham said 'Carpet Day.· I later found out that she actually said "carpc diem ... as in ·seize the day. do something about it, • but that wasn't the point. What is dh inc Young Soul Sets Off Sparks at Washington Performing Arts Society inspiration anyway, but the misinterpretation of normal stimulus as something NING KAI CHUANG finger board. he sets off magical next piece. "Vineyard.'' a sonata by fantastic and mystical'} And so Carpet Day was born. I really think we needed Ret riner Weekly Swff Writer Andre Previn. As one might guess. a day to celebrate that fuZt.y stuff we use to insulate our tloors anyhov.. It's sparks between the audience and important to note that. '' hile Carpet Day has no ·official' ntlcs. it is about the music. On Saturda) Gil this violin sonata v..as written at honoring carpets and not (;:trpct-like objects like rugs or bath mats we're Gil Shaham has been busy keep­ Shaham set off not only magical Martha·~ Vineyard. an escape place talking wall-to-wall. baby. So a\ to honor the original "athebts and agnostics·· ing up with his hea' y concert spm-ks but also controversial sparks: for any one who has gone t·uckoo: concept. Carpet Day has been convementl) plac-ed on Decem her 20th of every schedule ''bile still saving quality the latter ~rtain to Andre Prcvin· s The sonata sounds like an expres­ year, amid the already -crowded Christehannuk'' anla season. Celebrate in an) ti 'llC -~..·r his fa\ ontc 'ideo games. violin sonata. His recital also con­ sion of insanity. It i!> not as \ iolcnt fashion you like: dust bunnies arc optional." (entr\' mbmilted bv tlalgar). This guy knows hov. to enjoy life. tained works by Bach. Prokofic\ ~ s Stravinsky's "'Rite of the Now then, the winner of a "halloween and it shows in h1s music. His af­ and Cophmd. and an arrangement Spnng:·· it is not as outrageous as door-hanging" from the Dollar Store: fection for video games may be of R. Strauss' opera Rosenklavicr John Cage. fhe notes arc not pre­ "'Tt's Too Nice to Be In A Classroom' Day. wherein we celebrate life. The what makes him big on the interna­ and Bizet's Carmen. sented in a patterned fashion. It is date is arbitral)'- one day per semester. per class. with students getting veto tional concert stage. Honestly. the Bach was only me­ plain and obnoxious. and inspired power overteachers ~ majority rule! It is celebrated by going to class. taking a motion. \'Oting. leaving and enjoying. It could very well be a Federal Holi­ Shaham plays wonderfully with diocre. There wasn't much intu­ the follov.. ing remark 0\ erheard day- maybe tl1e day can be expanded to include offices'?! ·n1e s)mbol is a a potent technical prowess that not ition The piece was straightfor­ during the intermission: "They sure huge sun with a large smile. and there·s no need for present'\ [to bel exchanged many people on this planet can ward. [ think the ftrst three move­ know how to find garbage to play -we already received me!" (emry .wbmitted by Be~·erly M. Cemar Ballor) boast of. At the same time I see a ments of this piece were just a toda)." And you're certain!) not full of yourself in the least. for saying that you're young spirit who is enthusiastic warm-up for this concert. Knowing ~1usically. I see nothing in the all the present UMBC needs. Nope. not in the least. I chose this winner. be­ about playing Sonic. I also see a Bach's violin repertoire and Previn. Physically, I hear nothing. cause in effect, I'm trying to get several of you off the hook. GOTO CLASS! mature virtuoso who indulges him­ Shaham's smooth articulation, I Emotionally. l feel nothing al­ If not. at least organize; there's a safety-in-numbers aspect of this that may self in the same excitement for play­ think Shaham could have auempted though. thanks to Previn, I finally help you. Beverly, you may pick up your prize after I p.m. Wednesday at The ing on his multi-million dollar con­ more impudent dynamics and a understand how President Clinton Retriever Weekly Office, UC 2 14. Next week's contest idea is from this week's runner-up. Think of words that troller. his Stradivarius violin. more daring tempo. can't be undone, and figure out what they mean. "Excuse me, Jcn, have you As his fingers dance across the The audacity was found in the see OPERA, page 17 lost your mind? Would you care to explain??" I'd love to, yes. Your mission is to come up with pairs of words that sound like they should have go together and be opposites but, by god. they tkm't. Define 'em if you have to. The word "resign" does not mean to sign again, nor have I ever met a Profile your club or "gruntled'' postal employee. Nor is anti-pasta the opposite of pasta. There you are, three examples. Come up with more of these. If you can provide a defini­ tion for the word that docsn 't jive (like "gruntled"), thereby inducting it into the English language, more power to you. organization in The winner of th is week's contest, well, heck, why don't I give out a real prize for a change? Sure. Uh-huh. The winner will receive gift ccnificates to a popular restaurant. Because I can. that's why. The name of tbe restaurant will be announced after I get some more entries, damrnit The Retriever Weekly!

The runners-up will receive ~run we have lying about !be office in heap,, or >tuff from my magic OO!! of neat stuff. which contain.' croq ;uaw> and Happy Meal Toys and giant floating eyeballs and the like. Entries must be receiVed by Thul'\day in UC2 14. or by e-mail atjsid// ~· gl.umbr.tdu. As u.~ual. I will also accept conte

r------~ COMICS THE SURVIVAL SKILLET BY ADAM CRAIGMILES

OK. so you've blown all of your gro­ Here's what you'll need. cery money on Halloween candy; what are 0 l healthy portion of roommate you going to eat this week? Well , most of 0 2 cloves garlic us are ignoring a valuable food resource: 0 I cup cooking wine the roommate. Yes, living under the same 0 I tablespoon Worcestershire sauce roof with you is a walking. talking 100+ 0 I teaspoon of each rosemary, thytne. pounds of cuisine. parsley p Man! '{Ott've got to su lh~ Well, tm gu1 I 1I0M up agaim.l Now the first and most obvious part of There are many ways to go about cook­ I ~1 ne.,. move I \eamed in Outl!ltiShed me I>'( tift.( poufldt this process is stopping your roommate ing up your roommate, but 1 suggest slart­ JUjil&u la&t night! E bull t.till- from walking and talking. Each person has ing with a marinade. You should really c their own unique method. so I won't sub­ fight the urge to just throw the meat on the E scribe to just one murder formula. But I grill, as this provides little taste or cook­ will lend you some advice: Stay away from ing skill. You may have just committed a 0 poisons - remember, you' rc eventually savage murder, but you're not a complete F going to eat this person. Also, don't be animal! afraid to get a bit creative - it's not every To begin your marinade, combine p day you commit mur~er. If you reach a minced garlic, wine. sauce and spices into creative block, go rent your favorite hor­ a large bowl. Place the piece of your room­ I ror movie. Michael Myers, Dr. Hannibal mate into the marinade and let stand for at E ol:a'{. 60 'fOU grab me I~ Lcchter, and Freddy Krueger: These are least a half an hour. TI1is will tenderize your thit., and 1...... alt... no, 1ou 1hc masters. Don "t be afraid to borro\\ roommate and add a great deal of flavor. go ... waif... If your roommate happ..:ned to be an ath­ '-- , .... , ~ .....t...,.t some techniques. No one will know. ... ,.....,~, lete, you may need to marinate the meat Nl fO ...... After you· ve murdered your roommate . b 0 you must prepare the body for cooking. I for much longer in order to tenderize it. y know- this geL<; a little gross. but it pays After your roommate has been proper!} off in the long run. The process is basi­ marinated, place the ·flesh in the oven on c cally deciding what parts of the body are broil, on the barbecue grill, or even in a a consumable and what you should throw frying pan on the stove. Cook as long as m away. A general ntle of thumb: If it doesn' t desired. Serve with mlll>hed potatoes. green e look like chicken, toss it. For those of you beans or any other food your roommate r who are a bit more adventurous - go left behind. · Some of you may have moral issues with 0 ahead and hang on to those weird organs and parts. You can always use them later this particular installment of the Survival n in soups. Also. remember that unless your Skillet. But you have nothing to fear. I roommate is extremely small, you're not checked the guidelines of both PETA and s going to eat the entire thing in one sitting. Vegetarian Times and neithe( mention can­ I Most of the body should be stored in your nibalism. So vegetarians and vegans can a freezer. For this I suggest Thppcrware. If feast away without compromising their you use Saran Wrap or foil, your room­ dietary ethics. Happy Halloween. For next ~ mate is susceptible to freezer bum. week: a June Cleaver meal with zip. e Now that all the difficult work is done, For instmctions on hov,c to cook up an n you can start cooking. alibi, contact me at acraig2@ gl.umbc.edu.

A Tribute and Petition on Behalf of Matthew Shepard We. the undersigned, wish to express our deep gnef and outrage at the recent murder of Matthew 'Shepard. a gay University of Wyoming student. Matthew Shepard dted Monday 12 October of wounds received 7 Ocwber when he was targeted for a robbery because of his st:xual orientation. f-Ie was beaten with rhe bu~ of a gun and r.:,en tied to a fence tn near-fre"'ztng temperatures. where he was found by a passing b vc ISL We. reyc~'dless of our sexual orientauon. rel"gious. or politica Jeltefs. condemn thts inhuman crime of hate. call for swift and deosiveJUStice. and extend our sr'lcerest sympathies to the famt[Y and fnends of Matthevv She.:,>ard. "And much it grieved my heart to think I Wt1at man has made of man." -William Wordsvvorth

Br ar Dunntgan. KnS£1€' . D CaJrg::ll, Mrn Ktm. Julie 1iartley. \trfan l(eyser. Tom Taytor. Vin11.a Mehrotra. Brenna lldmen, Gregory All1son lrrd:l. Eclwacd L u, Angelle \1. Syndey lewts VLdY Kcdamo• Brock Charles Woolston. Der 1va Wei!. Rebecca l) t' !~ago . Oanrel B Bor koski. Jaquell'le­ Prasrus. Kdthy lor b. Mark Olson. N h osner sm·uc<. .~as<'r Robt' \On. Caron CrocJtht r ne r c :ey. Carolyr Smrttl, Rebe<: ta 01aput; Jess1ca Ol'is.<.y Keen. Brian Lorra.ne Chnsnne ill Hernphul, Mega1 A W"l S, Un qu • Q!·otyn Sheffif' '. \nand 'vlacDouga I. Calv1n. 'enntfcr Pn l'ips. Narasha Hamer; 1 uehrnan. Andre1e Cu~rn ngs. Jenel'~ Dovvt n. Ro n1 rn~s. Jear Carson. 5a Viaor - WherstO'lf', Jcrn1fcr Sc'" Wlrd. ley Bianca Smrth. £m .y S Hernandez, &i'l K. D/\t'SSdndro. En:..a Rentnc>.er. Ro~nna f rar> lielrmaf'. Joanrco SM th. AhCI JC nes. \ JSCl C .l J t~. JennJ.,er Roth. Horc'l. Latona fouesda e.lydaMJaci1 t"'€'r. St1armor Heath. lan Carolyn Sheparo. TeddyO(Ium-Duncan. lor. Lon~"n Walley. Andy Merten. Kelly Christina V King . .Jason Ross. Michael T Lo­ Kennedy, Samuel Frazier, Jess1ca Skolruk. BohhyF Watson Jr.. Shcilc"'l Skrctmore. Lon Watson. E•nmanucl Nicorardis. Karin C I ee. hu,, I IWOIITlin Oh. G1 Min Oh, Rosemary Susan An. Jan1cc 11oJ.;borg. Balvln Brown I ee ~ 1111. Nctahe lace!\. Gi:'ll Orgelfinger; Jess1ca A ~oll1fus. Rachel Gesttdo. Krmberly Asqu1no. Amy SettL. Anan(' fhorne, Elyse Jr . Derek Taylor. Raymorra Dul)IC k . Joan Kcren'Tian. Br o~n Noell, l(rosta A Ostrosky. f:l11abeth W<:lss, Cathleen C Becn.Jrieu. f)eborah Welbor•1. Robyn Forster. Elisabeth Stone. Lore Horton. Brian 521''d BrooKS, homas Long. J1ll ~1d1ng. Allee Chun. Ma'1ha Balafcl. Davtd Riley. Mia I racy A. Pokrass. SC:Jrdn Mardvetz. Kar '1 ers. ,'v1i01clel A Johnson. Vera Scnluesse. Rachel Burke. Ciuy )hdnabugt r. D n.el Govg1ma. Sracy Ann HLNer!}tn. Unda Chow. Olsson. ArTJanda Kingsland. •:n Young. Kim­ JoE. en BE:resh.

_j THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 27, 1998 PAGE19

GOOD MARTIN WEEKLY Sweat and Burn WITH SHUSTER

INCOME Last week we discussed the different The squat is ah.o very basic and brutal. It ba­ but somewhat easier on your shoulders. processing mall for rep brackeL<;; today, in honor of Hallow­ sically consists of you balancing a weight Experiment with both and see which one national company! Free across your shoulders (not your neck!), and supplies, postage! No sell­ een, we will discuss deadlifls. you like. Ing! Bonuses! Start Imme­ The name originated in Outer then squatting (as though you were sitting Also, the grip is important. Contrary to diately! Genuine opportu-. Mongolia, where Genghis Khan, the down) with it and then getting back up. It uses popular belief. there are no inner and outer nltyl originator of tbe deadlift. would lift up the quadriceps. hamstrings and spinal erec­ chest /pectoral muscles. It i:. one big Please rush Long Self­ the people he had just killed (hence tors, and is. simply put. the ~t exercise you muscle. The wider your grip is, the more Ad<:fressed Stamped Enve­ deadlift) and throw them around (also could ever do for your legs. It enables you to chest you involve (and the less shoulders lope to working his shoulders and arms). Genghis use a lot of weight, which, as stated earlier, and triceps); the closer your grip is, the MPC, SUITE 391 Khan was very "buff," but using some of produces the most growth/strength. more triceps you involve (and the less 2045 Mt. Zion Rd the tips I '"ill go over today. you can be­ Generally, one gets more benefit from do­ chest and shoulders). Vary your grip and MORROW, GA 30260 come as .. buff' as Genghis Khan (just stay ing squats with high reps (over eight). but that see what you like the best and what you away from the world-domination thing). is not necessary. Squats will work. but be want to work, but be careful. as many The dcadlift is a true test of power. careful; squats must be mastered before the shoulder problems can occur if your grip Among the basic three exercises that your weight is added, or you could really injure gets too wide! programs should be tailored around - yourself. So I would suggest practicing squat­ Now you are probably wondering. squats. deadlift and bench press - the ting with just the bar, and having someone "Well. ~1artin. why should I center my deadlift is the most basic and most bru­ who is knowledgeable observe your form for routine around these lifts?" Simply put. taL Simply put, you pick up a heavy, sta­ the flrst week or so. these are the basic three exercises: They tionary weight and raise it up. lt is very The last of the "big three" is the bench shouldn't be the only exercises you should simple. very hard, and very growth/ press, or ..upper-body squat," if you will. do. but you should do them. They pro­ strength productive. When doing these. Everyone seems to love to do this exercise vide the most growth/strength increases, you should remember to keep your back and to neglect to do many others. It is a good and doing them all in a routine will en­ straight, keep your head up and when the exercise, but you should never neglect other able total frame growth (i.e.• whole body), lift is completed, shrug your shoulders body parts! This exercise works yoUJ: pecto­ so you will not look like a tumip (people back. ralis major and minor (chest), your triceps and who just bench press and do bicep curls). Generally, you should never deadlift your deltoids (shoulders). How to do it: Lastly, you arc perhaps wondering what more than once a week, as it is very, very Lower the bar in a controlled manner (no sort of weight to shoot for. Well, here is a taxing on the body. However, the results bouncing), pause at the bottom and then raise goal that most people use when starting from it are unmatched. The deadlift works it. Bouncing can actually increase your ve­ out. You are generally considered of your quadriceps and hamstrings (legs). locity and help your ego (i.e. you can lift more "good strength" when you can your spinal erectors (lower back). your weight), but it does little as far a~ helping you 0 bench Press your body weight trapezius (traps), and your biceps brachii physically. Generally, there are two types of :J deadlift double your body weight (biceps). It is a complex and compound benchers; one type comprises those who. 0 squat 1.5 times your body weight. movement that also allows you to move a when pressing up. pu~h up and a little back So shoot for this when you are work- lot of weight around, which produces (towards their heads)- this makes it easier. ing out! Goals are worthwhile and reward­ good strength/size gains (depending on but it also puts more stress on your shoul­ ing! which rep bracket you arc training in). ders, so be careful. Then there are the people Next week, we discuss negative-only The next of the '~ig three" is the squat. who press in a straight line - this is harder, training.

Travels With Anna ... sisted of its presence in a bar in Paris, and rooms determines a country's likelihood for obvious reasons this is not the best type of ever achieving a Utopian state. of toilet to use when you are drunk. "Europe will never make it to Utopia. Bathrooms Another strange toilet contraption, which Their public toilet system is unnatural can be found aU over Italy, comes complete (disapproved of by God), and impossible ANNA KAPLAN with a shower. The toilet itself, in this par­ for women to use;· said my friend Justin. Retriever Weekly Staff Writer ticular case, is standard issue, but it is located The basic concept behind this is ifa coun­ behind a shower curtain, has a drain on the try does such a miserable job of catering When visiting a foreign country, tour­ floor in front of it, and a shower head on the to the basic needs of its people, that coun­ ists commonly expect to sec major dif­ wall directly above it. Although the time sav­ try has severely reduced chances of eter­ ferences between the culture of that coun­ ing advantages of this are clear, it is still quite nal harmony. try and the one he/she is from. Some trav­ a questionable idea. First, it is difficult to Some European countries will achive elers are actually surprised to discover actually stand beneath the shower head due Utopia, though. For example, judging by similar values in a foreign population, as to the toilet obstacle, and second, the possi­ the previously mentioned scene in if the citizens of one country were of a bility of a dry toilet seat is out of the ques­ Trainspolling, Scotland eventually will. different species from the next one. No, tion. Prance and Spain also eventually will, as it is not gigantic differences in core val­ Let us not go into details while discussing well as Switzerland and the Netherlands, ues that produce culture shock, but nu­ the more disgusting public bathrooms, but if the latter two are not there already. ances in everyday customs; the construc­ limit the description to the following com­ England has decent bathrooms, or WCs. tion of bathrooms is an excellent example. parison. RccaJI the scene in Trainspotting but they will never achiever Utopia for This is one of those situations where where Renton goes into "the worst toilet in scores of other reasons. Russia, Italy, and no matter how disgusting or just plain Scotland... That bathroom resembled the av­ the whole bulk ofEastem European coun­ weird your perception of the worst bath­ erage American public high school bathroom tries have no hope. America, on the other room on Earth is, you will be grossed out, more than anything else. It had stalls and hand, is equipped with an incredibly user­ shocked, or both upon encounter with doors. and even if there was no toilet paper, friendly public bathroom system. It is, of your first public bathroom abroad. Let us J' m sure the paper holder was in place. show­ course. a very young countn 1at has not first discuss the unusual models. then ing at the very least an intent to have the roll yet reached the point of equiiJL ·i um, but progress to the disgusting. present eventually. These aTe luxuries: don't it will m >st likely achieve Ltnpw after it One of the most off-the-wall bathroom take them for granted and assume they will :.cttles down and finds itscll. stalls I have ever been in was basically a always be there. . In surn. 11ary, nothing can p ~rare you porcelain hole in the ground: Something A country's public bathroom sys.tem. al­ for the tn velcr's public bath ·o >m expe­ that resembled a very shallow sink with a though a seemingly minor detail. can actu­ rience. Bri ng lots of your O\\ toilet pa­ drain in the middle of it was set into the ally reveal plentiful information about the per. and feel very lucky if you re male. lf tiled floor; the sink had two grooved steps country's future. My friends and I came to you wish to share travel stories, comments on either side of it to serve as footholds. the foiJowing conclusion while sitting in a or protests, please send them to Surprisingly. this contraption was clean train station in Florence, waiting for five [email protected]. More to come and flushed properly. The problem con- hours for a train: The quality of public bath- next week!

. ' PAGE20 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 27, 1998

VICTORY MARASIGAN Retriever Weekly SwjJWriter

Soldier (no stars out of four) is hands down one of the worst movies a person could ever have to sit through that doesn · t have Jean-Claude Van Damme in it. I could liken it to the sci-fi cheese that was the Hollywood product-of-choice back in the early '80s. but that would be too much of a compliment. If there is a movie theater in hell. this lilm is playing there 24 hours a day. The story, such as it is. revolves around Todd (Kurt Russell). an automaton of a man who has been raised from birth to be a mer­ ciless soldier in a not-too-distant ultra-con­ servative future (is there an) other kind?). After years of desensitization at a military academy full of other boys just like him, Todd becomes a ground fighter in a series of wars all over the galaxy. Who the enemies in these wars are is never revealed, but the few glimpses ofTodd in battle show that it doesn't matter, because innocent hostages are wiped out as indifferently as the bad guys. After 10 minutes of this nihilistic trash - yes, folks, there's more - we see Todd as a buff, scarred adult, now so accustomed to the carnage that no confrontation at all causes WamcrBros. him to break a sweat. There's a new wrinkle, Talk to the Hand: Jason Scott Lee and Kurt Russell square off in Soldier, scripted by one of the writers of Blade Runner. though. Todd and his brethren are declared obsolete, and a new batch of soldiers takes band together to fight a bunch of bad guys Peoples. Unlike that mind-twisting classic, Gary Busey is in this movie. 'Nuff said. their place. After losing a sanctioned battle coming to destroy them, you're way ahead this film contains just barely enough dialogue Soldier is proof that Hollywood still has with Dragon's Jason Scott Lee, the seem­ of the game. The renegade society on this to fill about three double-spaced pages. Add plenty of bad ideas sitting in its script vaults. ingly-dead Todd is dumped by a flying ice­ trash heap is so cliche, you half-expect Tina into the mix the inept direction of Mortal That this sad film made it to the silver screen cube tray (well, that's what it looked like) on Turner and Master Blaster to come strolling Kombat's Paul Anderson, and it's easy to see should encourage plenty of aspiring screen­ a remote garbage planet. into frame any minute. how Soldier turned out so bad. And the spe­ writers out there that there is hope after all. If you predict that Todd meets a bunch of It's surprising that Soldier is the brain-child cial effects! Remember the flying steam irons Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go weep outcast settlers on this planet, and that they of Blade Runner co-writer David Webb in Hardware Wars? for the future.

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THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 27, 1998 PAGE21

• • • • • ! J • •~ •• .. ~ """ '; STUDY ABROAD FORUM now in theatres ... Tomorrow! Capsule reviews of current movies by Victory Marasigan and Jamie Peck. YOU can Beloved (***'h out offour) A study in skillful SIUIIV In: Holland .. literary adaptation. Director Jonathan Derome's take on Toni Morrison's acclaimed novel spoon· - Brazil - EIIVIII- areece _ feeds nothing to the viewer, telling the super­ Sweden _ German_ France _ natural, 19th century-set story of Set.he (Oprah Winfrey), an escaped slave long haunted by an hall - Slain... lrelald- Jagan - unforgivable sin. Winfrey herself is arguably Beloved's greatest asset, so convincing you for­ TUniSia _ luslralla _ Can•a _ law get she shines brightly on a TV talk show. zealand _ Scotland _ Costa Rica _ Though the film is a challenge to watch, it's a disquieting, one-of-a-kind experience. (See the Touchstone Pictures Israel .. TurleJ - Malavsta - Sllln - 10/13/98 issue of17ze Retriever Weekly for a full Family Bond: Kimberly Elise and Oprah review.) - VM Winfrey cower in Beloved. Austria _ Wales.. Belgium _ El Clay Pigeons (**)The always-welcome pres­ Salvador ... China..... Poland .. ence of Jancane Garofalo almost saves this ba­ of her. The story might sound like fodder for a nal black comedy about a Montana nogoodnik TV-movie-of-the-week, but One True Thing re­ Thailand MIIICD ... Finland (Joaquim Phoenix) who finds himself implicated ally couldn't be further removed from mawkish in a series of bizarre murders and coincidences. sentiment; admirable restraint replaces what .. Malavsla ... SWitzerland_ Clay Pigeons starts off well enough, but a se­ could have been straight buuon-pushlng ma­ leDIZUIIa. EDalaod ries of distracting plot holes and contrivances nipulation. (10/13/98) -JP eventually tum what once was a wildly unpre­ Ronin (**1/z) Tt is to Robert De Niro'screditthat Tatwan dictable movie into a wildly convoluted mess. he is able to block our view of the derivative It wants to be Fargo, but ends up more like storyline - about group of mercenaries hired Nogo. (I 0/6/98) -JP to retrieve a mysterious suitcase somewhere in Learn about: The Impostors (**1h) Obviously an homage France - on his own for about half an hour Wednesday, Oct 28 destinations to the screwball "program picture.. comedies of before we begin to suspect something is afoot. 1-2 PM the '30s and '40s, The Impostors exudes ajoie To make up for the deficits in character and plot­ eligibility de vivre which is hard to dislike. It's too bad ting, director John Frankenheimer throws in Ballroom Lounge that writer/director/star Stanley Thcci's screen­ some excel lent high-speed car chases, which are financial aid play degenerates into the formulaic drivel and at least worthy of your local second-run theater's University Center credit transfer standardness which derailed many films of that admission price. (10/6/98) - VM UMBC very same era. Tucci and Oliver Piau play starv­ Rush Hour(**) ChrisTucker·s squealyselfand health/safety issues ing actors in 1930s New York who become stow­ frantic antics render him completely unbeliev­ aways on a cruise shlp. This plot is a yawner, able as a rogue LAPD detective, but things be­ but some appropriately hammy performances do come a little easier to swallow once be teams sponsored by International Education Services get to light up the screen. (10/13/98) - VM up with Jackie Chan's Hong Kong inspector to A Night at the Roxbury (**) This is Saturday crack a kidnapping case. This smooth odd email: [email protected] phone: 410-455-2624 Night Live's latest skit-to-screen offering, and couple-pairing makes for some good culture it falls somewhere between the Wayne :1· World clash comedy; it's too bad, then, that Rush Hour The Office of the Vice President for Student Affairs Is highs and the It :SPat lows. Will Ferrell and Chris slows down far too early thanks to a heaping Kattan play the Butabi brothers, two wild-and­ helping of racist Asian jokes and a virtual Accepting Nominations and Applications for crazy-wannabes who peruse L.A.'s nightclub · gridlock of action movie cliches. (lOn0/98) ­ "Who's Who Among Students scene, all the while bobbing their heads to JP Haddaway's dance hit "What Is Love?" Not Urban Legend (**'lz) Another season, ai)ot.her in American Universities and Colleges" much meat to build a story on, and it shows. teen-oriented horror flick that gleefully deci­ But the lowbrow silliness will impress those mates a ready-for-Tiger Beat cast. This iffy Selection Criteria: Scholarship, Involvement, Leadership and looking for a cinematic good time a Ia Dumb Scream-wannabe disappointingly doesn't use its Service to the Campus and Community and Dumber. (lOn0/98) -JP oh-so-promising gimmick-a serial killer stay­ ·One True Thing (***112) The run-home-from­ ing to the tune of grisly urban legends- to the Eligibility Criteria: the-theatre-and-hug-your-mom movie of the fullest, but it's sorta fun in only a way that silly, 2 Consecutive Semesters Enrollment at UMBC Prior to Falll998 year. Meryl Streep beautifully plays a happy slight horror flicks can be. All the genre staples Undergraduates: 60 Undergraduate Credits by Falll998 homemaker stricken with cancer, and Renee are in place, from the impossibly attractive cast Zellweger, great as always, is the career-driven to the delirious number of fake scares. (10/6/ 3.00 or Higher Cumulative G.P.A. daughter forced to drop everything and take care 98)-JP Graduate Students: 9 Graduate Credits by Fall1998 3.25 or Higher Cumulative G.P.A. Not Currently Under Judicial Sanction at UMBC NOMINATION FORMS & APPLICATIONS ARE AVAILABLE IN MP222A Deadline for Applications: Deadline for Nominations: Monday, November 30, 1998 Friday, November 13, 1998 Take a e-eeeeeee-e ee Help a Childless Couple Practice Test. Start a F.AMILY! Saturday, Nov81wlbor 7, 10 AM Qualified egg donors needed! UMBC Chem/Physlcs Bldg. - 2nd floor

Take a practice test and receive indMdual feedback detailing Compassionate, female, ages 21-30, college educa­ your test·taklng strengths & weaknesses.

tion preferred, current health insurance, healthy and $5 pre-registration or $7 day of the event. drug free. Medical/legal expenses pai~ compensa­ All proceeds benefit the Bio Chemistry Club. tion for services. CONFIDENTIAL. Interested? Results will be distributed on November 17 at 6pm with the locatlon TBA. For more information, please call Peggy Please call to reserve your seat. at 410-583-0688, anytime. PAGE22 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 27, 1998

Ct6 WHAt fHEY WANt You ro HEAr< 8;

Union 13 Gets Frustrated With Same Old Times, Same Old Punk The musical styles of this CO's 13 tracks are Homme. Josh Homme was the guitarbt for the Human Race Although they arc referred to as melodic as different from one another as night and KYUSS. KYUSS was amazing. QOTSA is day. Songs range from old (Elvis Presley) to good, but nowhere near what KYUSS was. East Los Angeles has tasted many great hardcore in Europe, here in the United States. new (Stevie Nicks with Sheryl Crow) and ll is good stuff, no doubt, but none of the bands and Union 13 comes out of that scene. Millencolin sounds just like straight punk from country (Faith Hill) to classical (The songs are truly epic like KYUSS was. Guitar 1998 brings Why Are We Destroyi11g Our­ with no chaser. Grab your skateboards; here's Michael Nyman Orchestra). work ts prominent here. and the vocals (also selves? from the band which does a few songs some theme music for all you skaters and Oddly enough. I actually enjoyed Faith done by Josh) are good. The riffs are inter­ in Spanish. The album is a compilation of clean punks. Millencolin would not make it Hill's song "This Kiss.'' 1 despise country esting, and overall the album has a nice sound. rants about the streets as well as of the big through a show at The Loft: this isn't politi­ with a passion. Garth Brooks nauseates me: It is a cross between Radiohead, progressive­ picture of America. It took the band six years cal punk or street punk. Wynonna Judd makes my ears bleed. But this rock and grunge, if you can imagine that. It to get out of .. East Los." as they dub it on The absence of politics is evident in Same song, while still slightly country-ish, has a definitely still fits under the "stoner-rock'' their first Epitaph release ( 1997). Old Times first track. "Mr. Clean.'' pop sound which is quite catchy. category that KYUSS pioneered. My only They ask the question again on the title Millencolin (don't mess up the pronunciation. Stevie Nicks, the goddess that she is, is dis­ gripe with the album is that some of the songs track, a rant that includes the deadliness of its derived from melancholy) presses the star appointing with her new song "If You Ever seem to drag and that the bass (or maybe bass­ pollution and the government's need to solve of so many commercials to explain why he Did Believe," but sings an excellent remake ist) is just not good; firstly, it's poorly mixed the problems of other countries. Vocalist Ed­ became so big and dumb. That isn't the only of ·'Crystal" (which was originally released and secondly, it's just nothing special. But ward Escoto's rage comes to a head with the example of Millencolin 's Swedish sense of by her band, Fleetwood Mac. but sung by aside from that, this album rocks. closing lines of"No Time for Learning" with humor: there's "Dance Craze," which makes band member Christine MeVie). Both songs RATING: Get it. Get it if you were a "I'm going postal today. This anger has made fun of ska and the way it has become such a by Nicks are produced by Sheryl Crow, who KYUSS fan and get it if you're not. But if me insane. I feel jealousy towards the dead trend lately. There's "Diznee Time" directed also sings backup. you're not, then buy Sky Valley by KYUSS life. Pressures just fucked up my head and I at the stoners, who'll be pretty offended; the On the positive side, the soundtrack in­ fU'St! -- Martin Shuster believe the meaning of life has been lost." Swedes tell you it's ti!Jle to stop puffin·. cludes an unexpected but funky disco song The band is always honest in their songs. In Same Old 1imes is actually a pretty good by Marvin Gaye and a strange, strange song "Faith" they ask, "The truth is surely out listen for punks like me who stick pretty much Marilyn Manson: Mecluznical emitled "Coconut" which defies explanation. there, but who's in control as destiny un­ to political punk. It's good driving music, Animals The two instrumental tracks performed by the folds?" The band leaves us with a final when Crass get<; a little too deep. This isn't a The new Marilyn Manson album well. above mentioned orchestra are moving. and thought on ''Why?" with "The prophecy of soundtrack for life; don't take it-too seriously. what can one say? You could say it's a far for those of you who have a hard time with annihilation is not nearly enough to stop the I mean.they compare a perfect game of bowl­ departure from thetr previous albums and classical. they are easy and fun to listen to. human consciousness from pressing its own ing to a girl and decide to bowl a perfect EPs. Yes. you could. This album i)o much ·'Is This Real?" a song by lisahall, is the luck." Day after day. they are proven correct game. -John C. Roemer mellower. much less metallic, and more highlight of the entire album. If you like Tori as humanity slill decides to use methods of glam-ish. David Bo.,..·ic comes to mind. more Amos. this song is for you. It can be listened power and laziness that will surely destroy Whale: All Disco Dance Must End so image-wise than musically (but some to exactly 37 times before it begins to lose Earth. In Broken Bones Scary Monsters-music-era inOuences are its effect. Union 13 leaves us with many messages Do you fondly remember the good ole' present!) Lots of electronic elements arc still Elvis is. well. Elvis - nothing new with and warnings. Why Are We Destroying Our­ days of driving your gray Civic while head­ present (drum machtncl> aplenty here). but ''Always On My Mind" and it is perhaps ~n­ selves? isn't anything like Tupac Shakur they arc more in the background. Overall. the banging along to the song Hobo /Jumpin' necessary on this CD. Joni Mitchell is whiny prophesi.ling his own death, but a statement album is more atmospheric and less Slobo Babe with a man named Helga? If so. and obnoxious in her song "A Case Of You:· that rings very true for the entire human race. then you're in for a treat. Whale - the mas­ riff-driven (though there are some nice riffs and ''Black Eyed Dog" by Nick Drake is In the spirit of Operation Ivy. evolution will terminds behind the original Slobo Babe - here). Problems include the fact that many dreadfully repetitive. come; it's time to stand together. What ever have just released a new album! of the riffs are highly unoriginal. Some lyr­ RATING: I've been told by those who happened to human unity? - John C. Roemer Creatively tagged All Disco Dance Must ics are extremely stupid ("I don't like the have seen the movie that the soundtrack is End in Broken Bones. the album's II enig­ drugs, but the drugs like me!''- which is also three times better. However. since I've yet to Vanilla lee: Hard to Swallow matic tracks of hobo-like music is enough to a direct rip from Joan Jett's riff"l Like Rock see the movie (because of its blatantly incor­ and Roll"). Highlights include some of the Yes, that's right, Vanilla Ice is back, he is keep you humpin' for many times to come. rect and unrealistic portrayal of witchcraft), The eerie sounds of "Crying at the Airport'' riffs and the lyrics ("Mother Mary - miscarry still calling himself Vanilla Ice and he still I cannot make the comparison. I would have was interesting"). So this is an album full of sucks. The obvious question bere is: Wby? start the album off on the right track. Other bought this album for the lisahall song alone, spooky and enticing tracks include ''Into the contrasts, just like Brian Warner himself Why is the subjecting us to the torture that is but if that song isn't your style I'd suggest Strobe" and "Roadkill," which ha'> such origi­ (a.k.a. Marilyn Manson). himself? Is his ego so inflated that he actu­ just waiting for one of your Tori-obsessed ally thinks anyone wants to listen to him? Yes, nallyrics as "your Carhardt shirt's still wet, friends to buy the album and then tape-record apparently so. As all similar talentless one­ a veteran of your nosebleed." Who cares what RATING: Get it, if you really like their it off her.-Tracy Soltesz hit wonders, be turned to drugs after "Ice Ice it means? It's refreshingly different. stuff. You may be Disappointed, as it's not nearly as heavy as previous releases. If you Baby" went off the charts, and now he is back The album has a great mix between softly Queens of the Stone Age: Queens and ready for more. Hopefully he is ready to flowing and harder, moving songs. Best de­ don't like MM, give this a try- it's mellow be booed off every stage he appears on, be­ scribed as bizarre, the lyrics provoke one to of the Stone Age enough for most people to dig it; forget about cause his so-called music is an abomination. ponder - for there must be a deeper meaning For those of you who do not know, Queens all the "hype" surrounding him. - Martin Hard to Swallow sounds like Rage against behind the curt words of "Smoke," which of the Stone Age is the new band from Josh Shuster the Machine meets Wu Tang Clan, if these declare "I know I smoke too much ... my feel­ two bands had no talent, message or any gen­ ings for you is breeding like cancer... share eral purpose in life. Vanilla's dyslexic cha­ my last cigarette." meleon rationale seems to be telling him that To give you an idea of what sleeps in the DisOriented with TheatreCom if he could gain popularity in the past by imi­ minds of members of Whale, here are a few from THEATRE CONCERT, page 16 tating M.C. Hammer, he can gain it just as things they claim to have learned while mak­ the future. well now by (badly) imitating industrial/hip ing the album: Minus three degrees Fahren­ The collaborative work of dedicated mem­ hop. The album's climax is "Too Cold," a heit is cold enough to make you cry, even if came out to support the Arts was The Asso­ bers of the Theatre department and th~e two wannabe- you arc from Sweden. There are very few ciates, with UMBC Theatre's own Tara extraordinary bands put on an amat.ing show industrial re1nake of "Icc Ice Baby." Every­ heterosexual stewards on British Airways and Cariaso singing amazing vocals. Along with for the night, showing incredible dedication thing about this CD is so tacky it makes you those who exist arc not half as nice as their fellow band members Mike Castor, Matt to support Theatre at UMBC. The next play cringe -- even the cover. "'hich sports red­ gay counterparts. Words and phrases like Dickinson, Chuck Beitzel. and Kevin to open in the Theatre department, What the and-black roses and two naked vampire girls ·'night." "street,'' "l remember," "looking out Westin, The Associates rounded off the night Butler Saw. previews November 2 and 3, on a black background. One must try ex­ the window" and "perception" must never with their soulful blues tunes. The two bands with the Mainstage performances running tremely hard to find a positive aspect of this appear in a pop song; "boogie" and contrasted each other wonderfully, as On from November 4th rough November 8 and album, only to come to the conclusion that "rammstein" are okay, however, if used with Edge got everyone up on their feet and The November 11 through November 15. Vanilla is thoroughly deluding himself. and care. Associates toned down the evening to a more Cariaso will appear on the stage in "Top the Universal Records executives arc prob­ RATING: This is smooth and exhilarat­ fluid groove. Soaring vocals and a blend of Girls" which runs from December 4 to De­ ably kicking themselves while preparing to ing. Different-and I like it that way. Go get talented musicians who aU share the same cember 9. Contact the Theatre box office ~t I suffer the losses. this album now sq you will be prepared for vibe make this band one to look out for in (443) 455-2476 for ticket information. RATING: No matter how abysmally ter­ Whale's show scheduled at Bohager's for J rible Hard to Swallow is, we must give Va­ November 18. -Tracy Soltes:_ l nilla some minimal credit for having the cour­ age to show his face in public again.-- Anna Practical Magic: Music from the Write for Features call x126o ask for Christina Kaplan Motion Picture PAGE23

Events Happening Arouna the ~ter 6altimore"Washington Area

Tuesday the 27th Saturday the 31st Please Note the Nearest Exit. In the Event Why Didn't You Dress Up? Har-Har of an Emergency Head for the Pier Six Concert Pavilion for Go see a movie. For mainstream stuff. go to the second-annual Pepsi Parade of Fools. Towson (410-825-5233), Reisterstown Compete with other freaks for $1,000 in (410-358-6656). Westview Mall (410-719- cash. Registration for the costume contest 9000). Eastpoint ( 410-284-31 00). For Artsy is from 7-9 p.m. and the parade and judg­ Stuff that doesn't involve exploding dogs. ing is from 9-11 p.m. Admission is free. and hit the Charles (410-727-3456). and for pure concessions will be available for food and ambiance. go to the Senator (41 0-435-8338). beer. Entrants must be 18 or older. The Pier And try the nachos. And the Gummi Bears. Six pavilion is located at President Street And a large Diet Coke. and Eastern Avenue. $1.000 for lst place. $500 for 2nd, $250 for 3rd and Pepsi prize Wednesday the 28th Packs for 10 runners-up. And Then the Alarm Went Off. Go hang out at Hopkins for an hour to hear And You Thought They Were Scary the ·'Making Your Money Dreams Come True," Other 364 Days of the Year a lecture with Eileen Richards, first vice Those wacky, wacky dentists are at it again. president of investments at Legg Mason Join the National Museum of Dentistry for Wood Walker Inc., New York. If you do get their Fang-Tastic Halloween Party today rich. just remember that you read it in The from l-4 p.m. They promise ·•scary stories, Retriever Weekly. creepy crafts, ghoulish games, toothsome treats and a monster masquerade march"­ Thursday the 29th not to mention more caramel and chocolate Thrn Off Fm nds, There's Live Music to than you can shake a drill at (it's all a ploy). be Had! This party is for kids aged 3-12, so if you Join the Associa tes and The Uptown already know one, go and enjoy. The Na­ Gitdown at Cafe Tattoo on Belair Road. tional Museum of Dentistry is located at the Help celebrate the Associates' Demo re­ corner of Lombard and Greene Streets. For lease! Plus. for added mirth and frivolity. more info, call 410-706-0600. you're encouraged to come in costume. They' II even give you $1 off the $6 cover if Sunday the 1st you're dressed like a raging freak. Admis­ This Week, Nothing Happens on Sunday. sion includes a $2 bar token for drinkin' Don't you have some repeming to do or (bring a designated driver. Beavis), and a something? Go clean the egg off your copy of the Associates' demo. And. we're neighbor's car right now. and brush your forewarned. the drink special du jour is the teeth. for Pete's sake. And whose goat is $2 Black Death Shooter. that? And why are your pants festooned on its horns? Friday the 30th And Plan B Is? Monday the 2nd Just for yucks. try to find a parking space in Look! A 30-foot, Helium-Fil1ed Schmoke! front of Walmart or the Party Store. Or. if Yes. yes. nothing usually happens on Mon­ you have a life. go see Dave Alvin and the days - unless you count that today is the Guiltym en with Robbie Fulks at deadline for applications for Baltimore's Fletcher's. No. T've never heard of them. but Thanksgiving Parade. Do you have "col­ if the alternative is scoping out Walmart for orful and creative flbats, children ·s groups, the leftover costumes, you have no choice. pep squads and/or marching units?" If you really. Fletcher's is located at 701 South do, well, sign up, then! You. too. can march Bond Street in Fells. For info, call41 0-880- with Santa Claus. For info, call the Balti­ 4129. more Office of promotion at 410-752-8632.

Have a submission for ARouNDTowN or ltteidattally .? Direct them to UC214, care of Jen Siciliano! PAGE24 Oct. 27, 1998 SPORTS Retrievers Claim Three More UMBC Men Receive Victims in Northeast Conference Mixed Results on

CHRIS KERNER Road and at Home Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff

RYAN MORSE UMBC got their big opportunity Whether at home or on the road, Retriever Weekly Staff Writer with just 1:22 remaining in regu­ the UMBC women's volleyball lation whenjuniorTy Engram was team continues to win as evidenced The men's soccer team turned tripped up inside of the box, giv­ by last week's victories over in a split on the road this week, ing them a penalty kick. Andy Loyola, Central Connecticut State winning their October 23rd battle Wells, who had previously been and Quinnipiac. The three straight with Long Island University 2-1, 3-3 in penalty kicks on the sea­ triumphs increased the team's over­ but coming up short against son, could not fmd the net, leav­ all winning streak to six in the Marist College on October 17th. ing the game tied for the remain­ Northeast Conference, and main­ Their record now stands at 10-5- der of regulation time. tained their strong hold on first place 2 overall and 4-2-2 in the NEC UMBC fmally earned the vic­ in the conference with an unblem­ with one week remaining in the tory with just 7:32 remaining in ished 6-0 record. regular season. the overtime period when sopho­ On 'J;uesday, UMBC played their In the game against LIU, the more Billy Nelson sent a pass up only non-conference match of the Retrievers trailed late in the first into the comer for Engram. En­ week when they traveled to Loyola half on a goal by Rafael Solano. gram received the pass and then College to take on the 3-1 7 Grey­ Long Island took that lead into the centered it for Lampton, who put hounds. They proved to be no match half, but UMBC responded at it in, earning the Retrievers' tenth for the Retrievers as senior Lisa 29:30 of the second half when win of the season. Cline Jed UMBC to a convincing sophomore Ryan Lampton got his The road trip continued for the 15-13, 15-8 and 15-5 win. Cline re­ first of two goals on the night by Retrievers as they remained in corded 20 kills while hitting .419 for putting in a long service from New York for a game on Sunday, the match. Fe11ow senior LaNae freshman James Hamilton, which October :i5th with St.Francis , who Baker was also a major contributor he volleyed into th~ net from the currently holds second place in with 38 assists and 21 digs. The air. the conference. The talk of the whole lasted only one hour and 17 UMBC survived a scare just game was Retriever goalie Tom minutes. two minutes later when LIU was Wunk, who thwarted the 24th Next, UMBC traveled to New Dave Chen I Retriever Weekly Scaff awarded a penalty kick. Juan ranked Terriers chances several Britain, Connecticut, to take on Look out below: Senior Megan McNamara attempts strong kill Sandiago beautifully directed the different times throughout the Central Connecticut State. The against Loyola as teammate Joanne Marshall marvels at her power. kick ta.wards the right bottom cor­ match. The freshman would match proved more competitive gishly in the first game, allowing the ever, and kept their momentum go­ ner of the net, but freshman record nine saves in UMBC's sec- than prior NEC matches, but the Lady Blue Devils to tie the score at ing in the second game with a 15-8 keeper Tom Wunk made an excel­ Retrievers were still able to win in J 3-13. The Retrievers reeled off the lent diving save to block it. see SOCCER, page 26 three games. UMBC started slug- last two points of that game, how- see VOUEYBALL, page 25 Soccer Finishes Regular Season in Second Place Lady Retrievers Boost NEC front of the UMBC goal and converted the score with her Record to 7-1 shot. Throughout the game, tory, UMBC's UMBC was called for numer­ JOHN MICHAEL MCCRORY record climbed to ous offside penalties. many of Retriever Weekly Staff Writer 9-7 overall and 6- which came at crucial points in 1 in the Northeast the contest. At one point, The UMBC women's soccer conference. UMBC seemed to score, but the team traveled to New York this This past Tues­ referees ruled against UMBC past weekend and scored two day, the Retrievers on a goal line call. Richmond victories, 2-1 over Long Island squared off against outshot UMBC 13-6 in the University and 4-0 over the Richmond Spi­ game. Wagner College. The wins ders under the On Sunday, the UMBC squad raised UMBC's final regular lights at UMBC played its last game of the sea­ season record to 10-7. Stadium. The son in Staten Island against The game did not start off game marked the Wagner College and came out well for the Retrievers as Long final home appear­ victorious 4-0. Sophomore sen­ Island grabbed the early lead on ances for seniors sation Erin Lesh tallied two a goal by Julie Hereth. The Renny Trellis and goals in the game to raise her Blackbirds maintained control Carolyn Van season total to 14. Both of her of the game until halfway Coverdcn. UMBC goals came in the first half as through the second half when could not lift up the Retrievers applied constant UMBC junior Michelle Clare their departing se­ pressure to the Wagner net. The beaded in a comer kick by jun­ niors with a win as other UMBC goals were scored ior Theresa Rosbert. Just four the) fell. 2-0. Rich by junior Theresa Rosbert and minutes latct. UMBC's out­ mond kept the of­ Tina Williams. standing freshman Nicole fensive pressure up Amy Banowetz I Rctric\a Week!} Stafl The win moved the Retriev­ Brooks scored the game win­ the entire game: Kick it: Junior Lee Custer on the attack in Retriever loss to Richmond. The ers NEC record to 7-1, their ning shot that easily beat the they also had an in­ team's out of conference record is 3-6 while in the NEC it is 7-1. only loss coming to conference out-of-position LJ U goal­ credible amount of leading Central Connecticut. keeper. shots that barely scored 1heir first pomts at the 39:49 In the second half. the Spiders added The team next plays in the In the contest, UMBC missed their mark. mark. At half time the Spiders led 1- to their lead when at the 70:20 mark. Northeast conference tourna­ outshot LIU 10-8. With the vic- The Spiders :finally 0. Brooke Sands collected the ball in ment begmning November 5. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS October 27, 1998 PAGE25

Volleyball Keeps Rolling ~ Andy Smullian Football Forgets the Common Man

Football ... modem day gladiators ... nothing but a 'g-string' in zero degree a game where rules of civility and weather consuming 10 to 15 beers and sportsmanslllp do not apply. It is not cheering for the home team until there just a game but a war. With every down, is no feeling left in his body. Today's every yard, every game, blood and in­ fan comes from the upper echelon of jury arc constant reminders of the bru­ society, many of whom buy seats tality endured. merely as a perk for clients or employ­ Over the years, this great sport has ees. truly become America's pastime. How­ The least expensive ticket at the new ever, during this decade, football has un­ NFL stadium in downtown Baltimore dergone a change whlch brings in an el­ is $30. With transportation and food fac­ ement of society that does not belong. tored in, the cost of going to one game This element, ladies and gentlemen, are can be as much as $50 per person. How the 'trust-fund babies.' Football, whlch can the average working man afford to has generally go to a game? The been a 'working Dave Chen I Reuiever Weekly Staff simple answer is man's game', is "Hot dogs and nachos have been that they can't. Extension: Sophomore Kara Welniak and UMBC have played their way to a 6-0 now a game for There is no sup­ record in the NEC and a 16-6 record overall. traded for caviar and lobster... yuppies. Today's fan comes from the port for the team from VOLLEYBALL, page 24 With the large anymore, for the 15 kills. Marshall and her teammates jumped stadium booms upper echelon of society, many simple reason that win. The third game began much like the first out to an early 12-4lead on the Braves in the of the 90's, ~cket of whom buy seats merely as a the people who with UMBC taking the lead and allowing the first game. The lead was not safe for long, prices have al­ can afford to buy Blue Devils to come back. They had gotten however, as Quinnipiac reeled off six straight most doubled, perk for clients and employees." a ticket today are to within 14-12 on a service ace by senior Jess points to pull within 12-10. UMBC responded making it virtu- not true football Murphy, but the Retrievers were too strong with three consecutive points of their own to ally impossible for the average fan to fans. At the first game at the new sta­ and they took the game, 15-12. and the match. win the first game 15-10. In the second game, buy a ticket. The stadiums instead are dium in Baltimore, there were empty Once again, Cline led UMBC with 20 kills to the Retrievers scored the fust 13 points en filled with skyboxes and club seats seats in the club and lower levels. The improve her kills-per-game in the NEC to route to a J 5-3 win. The final game was just a made to pamper the rich and upper area that was 'packed to the brim' was 4.9 I, which remains top in the conference. fonnality as UMBC won 15-9, earning their class. Beer has been traded for wine. the upper deck, an area area generally Sophomore Kara Welniak added ll kills to sixth win in six conference games. Cline and Hot dogs and nachos have been traded occupied by the 'average working man.' the attack and Baker contributed 45 assists. senior Megan McNamara added II kills and for caviar and lobster. A great fan is a They were also the same people who In UMBC's third awa) match of the week I0 kills to Marshall's 15 in the Retriever rout. 300lb slob who paints hls entire body stayed at the game until the last seconds against Quinnipiac, sophomore Joanne The team's record now stands at 16-6 overall the colors of the team while wearing Marshall was the hero, leading all hitters with and 6-0 in the NEC. see FOOTBALL, page 24 "THE EARTH IS BUT ONE COUNTRY AND MANKIND ITS CITIZENS"- BAHA'U'LLAH

FIRST WE WATCH, THEN WE DISCUSS! SPONSORED BY THE BAHA'I STUDENT ASSOCIATION PAGE26 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS October 27, 1998 TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT Men's Soccer-earners BY CHRIS KERNER Tenth Win, Second Tie

Come Cheer for the Dogs! ond tie of the season. 0- 0. UMBC has a campus with an enrollment something. You are going to be telling The Retriever~· best of over l 0,000 students. UMBC has a employers and lots of people you meet opportunity to score sports program with over 20 teams. The later in life what college you attended. You came with six minutes program is in Division I and has just en­ might as well learn to be proud of it now. left in the first overtime tered the Northeast Conference within the Is there a better way to express that pride when Ryan Lampton's past year. Currently, the volleyball team than cheering for your fellow classmates? shot from 20 yards out is in first place in the conference, the I think not. rang off the post, forc­ women's soccer team is second in the About a week and a half ago, I went to ing UMBC to settle for league, men's soccer is 10-5-2, the men's College Park to check out their ceremony the tie. tennis team just won the Towson Tourna­ for Midnight Madness, which is the ftrst Their next game is ment, and the golf team won the confer­ official practice of the upcoming basket­ on Wednesday, October ence tournament. And yet. every year, at­ ball season. The atmosphere in that build­ 28th in Philadelphia tendance at these games seems to de­ ing was like nothing I had ever felt at any against the University crease. What more can you people ask for? UMBC sporting event. There were gym­ of Pennsylvania. The Over the years, UMBC has always been nasts and light shows. Cole Field House season finale is at home competitive in almost every sport at the holds over 15,000 people and on that night on Halloween versus Division I level. I am not suggesting that some fans had to stand. And the excite­ St. Francis of Pennsyl­ our basketball team is going to break into ment that occurred when their team took vania at the stadium. the top 25 anytime soon, but winning the the court for the first time was unreal; you The Northeast Confer­ NEC is definitely a strong possibility. Be­ couldn't even hear yourself think. It was ence tournament is set sides all of that, the lacrosse team here is nice to see the student body so supportive Eli Zukowski I Retriever Weekly Staff to begin on Thursday, amazing. They made the NCAA tourna­ of their team. Playing Strong: Sophomore Billy Nelson and the Retriev- November 5th and con­ ment last year and Of course, Col­ ers played to a draw against 24th-ranked Saint Francis of elude on Sunday, No- returned all but two lege Park has more Pennsylvania. vember 7th. players from that "It's so important for our people and they re­ squad. There is just teams to feel supported, to ceive more funding, no excuse for blah, blah, blah. people not to come feel like someone, besides Whatever excuse out and support their coach and parents, care you want to make, these teams. there is no good rea­ Many UMBC about their performance." son why we cannot students that I have have that same at­ talked to have used the old "but our teams mosphere at our basketball games. It is are so bad" excuse too many times. There important for our teams to feel supported, is also the "there is never anything to do to feel that someone besides their parents on the weekends at UMBC" plea. So many and coach cares about their performance. of the sports teams play games on Friday, Let's start making UMBC sports feel Saturday and Sunday. The bottom line is like a major part of the community. Jf you xperience nursing firsthand in the that neither of these excuses are valid. know an athlete on a team, go watch them : Helene Fuld Clinical Labs, engage in The Fieldhouse holds maybe 5,000 play! Ifyou think one of the players is cute, people at one time and that is if all the by all means, go watch them play! lf you stimulating dialogue with faculty and bleachers are pulled out and filled. When really are a UMBC student, then you will I go there to watch volleyball matches the go watch them play. It really doesn't take students and discover how total attendance is usually under 200. It is much out of your time. A volleyball match a total disgrace that the men's soccer team lasts an hour and a half, a basketball game in the health care system are from Farliegh Dickinson can outnumber lasts two hours. That really isn't that much the UMBC fans in attendance. There must time out of your life and it would have ding new opportunities for nurses. be a reason that l 0,000 people decided to such a huge impact on the morale of the come to UMBC. They must have all liked team. Stop being so damn apathetic and it for something. Granted, I'm sure it come support UMBC sports. They de­ wasn't necessarily sports, but there was serve it. BIN Open Hause Stadiums Are Filled With Yuppies Saturday, Dctaller 31, 1111 NFL and every other sport is heading 1Dam-1 :3Dpm from FOOTBALL, page 25 down? There is only one solution: a strike. However, they tend not to work Davidge Hall of the clock ran down, while everyone because the love of the game is so else got an early lead on traffic as the strong that it is hard to stay away and 522 West lamllarllllrlet hometeam Ravens were losing to the we continue to pay the outrageous Baltimlre, MD Steelers. prices. A columnist forThe Chicago Tribune A new stadium deal gives an NFL RSVP by October 28. once said the Memorial Stadium was team a license to print money. As if the "The world's only outdoor insane asy­ $75 million each team gets every year lum." In the city of Baltimore, people for TV rights wasn't enough. The own­ used to name their kids Brooks and ers of NFL teams. as well as of any ervations are required. Please leave your nanie Johnny after city sports icons Brooks other American sports team have lost the number of persons attending when Y.OU call Robinson and Johnny Unitas. After the sight of the people that built their re­ game any person could go up to a spective games into what they are to­ with your reservation. player and offer to buy him a beer. day. Icons of American society. One However. those days arc long gone. day the NFL may not be as strong as it Today. fans don't get insane over the is today. and the 'average working man· game. players aren "t with a single learn might find another sport to pa)' to see. long enough for us to idolize them. and Only then will the NFL. and most mod­ interaction between fans and players is em sports see the error of their ways almost extinct. and treat the 'common man' with re­ What can divert the course that the spect. PAGE27 CLASSIFIEDS

Classified Advertising I II I Club Notices Lost& Found Office Hours I:TI~I E\'F I~ is a section for UMBC is a free community service Rates per 30 WORDS Monday through Friday R \'\ ' E E K I. Y student clubs to make offered to UMBC students, $6.00 9:00a.m. - 5:00p.m. announcements only. faculty. and staff. (Limit 5 lines) 50¢ EACH BOLDED WORD University Center 214 Student clubs may have Does not include PERSONALS, 1000 Hilltop Circle five lines free. Each additional line costs $1.50 LOST & FOUND, Classified Display Baltimore. MD 21250 Personals CLUB NOTICES. Ads may be placed in may be placed at our offices OR THRil-l SHOP sections. Advertising during regular hours. The cost is Rates Per Column Inch: person at the above Sec separate rate schedules Thrift Shop $1.00 for <1 four-line ad: for more information. address. mailed in. or additional lines are 25¢ each. is a. Rerrie1·er Weekly student Under 10 ColuOJJJ Inches There b a SOc charge faxed in. community service which provides $10.30 for personal~ which are in aU Deadline UMBC students 3 free lines (41 0) 455-1260 capitals or include bolded lines. All advertisments under of advertising for any textbook or Each personal muM be pre-paid Classified ads are due 5:00p.m. $30 must be prepaid Fax: (410) 455-1265 item FOR SALE under $50. and filled out Available to "~Ill\ c:Ur'n:tltly on the Friday preceding the issue. before insertion. enrolled at UMBC only on a separate form.

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Call Fam­ EARN $8-$10/ HR. & Florida. Call1-800-648-4849 Call Inter-Campus Programs 1- ily Building Center, Inc., (41 0) 800-327-6013 www.icpt.com 494-8113, Towson, Maryland. MAKE EASY MONEY! GO ON SPRING BREAK FOR FREE! FREE CD HOLDERS, T­ CALL CLUB NOTICES USA Spring Break offers SHIRTS, PREPAID PHONE (410) 730-2221 Cancun, Bahamas, Jamaica CARDS. Earn $1000 part-time and Florida packages and is on campus. Just Call 1-800- Attention all gay, lesbian, bi­ PARENT HELPER WANTED. sexual and questioning students HELP WANTED currently accepting aplications 932-0528 x64. One mile from campus, flexible for campus sales representa­ and their allies: The Freedom hours. Live out or may ex­ tives. Call 1-888-SPRING­ # 1 SPRINGBREAK operator! Alliance is here for you. Meet­ BABYSITTER: PT late after­ change for room, board. Com­ BREAK. Check or website for the best ings are Thursdays, 7-9 pm, in noons. Pregnant mom on puter experience a plus. Call deals! www.vagabondtours.com SS 002. Or call x6370. bedrest needs Sitter for 5-yr old. 410-262-2201. $1250 FUNDRAISER ? Credit Cancun, Bahamas, Jamaica & Nice E. C. location nerar Ate. 40. Card fundraiser for student or­ Florida. Group Organizers The UMBC Jujitsu Club will be Trans req. Sal nego. 410-750- holding its classes every Mon­ JOB OPPORTUNITIES ganizations. You?ve seen other EARN FREE TRIPS & 7909. groups doing it, now it?s your CASH?Call today 1-800-700- day from 6:30-8:30 p.m. in tum. One week is all it takes. 0790 Patapsco Lounge. Please join I'm looking for a tutor to teach EARN EXTRA$$- Female mod­ NO gimmicks, NO tricks, NO us, no experience necessary. me ltialian. Tutorial sessons will els wanted for occasional photo obligation. Call for information ABSOLUTE SPRING BREAK For further information, e-mail take place in my Park Heights work. No experience needed. today. 1-800-932-0528 x65. -TAKE 2 Organize a small sjsfekas@ wglaw.com. home. Trans. Req. Sal. nego. $20-$40/hr or work for reprints. www.ocmconcepts. com group & take 2 free trips Call 41 0-276-0211 for informa­ Bonus for 5'6" or taller. Call and?EARN$$$. Jamaica, Chess Club meets every Friday tion. Gemini Graphics (301) 596- INTERNET SALES INTERN­ Cancun, Bahamas, Florida, Pa­ 4-6pm in UC 314 for informal, 27n. SHIPS? EARN$$$$ GAIN dre! **Limited Offer**. 1-800- games, instruction, and conver­ Work with 2-year-old autistic VALUABLE BUSINESS EXPE­ 426 7710 sation. Everyone is welcome, boy. Part time. Ellicott City. Psy­ SALES PART-TIME Cohen's RIENCE selling internet and yel­ www.sunsplashtours.com. from beginner to grandmaster. chology or Education Major Clothiers in Cockeysville need low page advertising in your [email protected], http:// helpful. Training Provided. several enthusiastic individuals University?s Campus Telephone www. urn be. ed u/chess, ROOM FOR RENT (410) 788-n23. to sell mens/boys clothing in Directory. Flexible Hours! [email protected], x8499. evenings and weekends. Call GREAT RESUME BOOSTER. SALES POSITIONS AVAIL­ Fran 666-8952. Call College Directory Publish­ Room for Rent. About 5mi from The UMBC Wrestling Club has ABLE for 3-5 ~nthusiastic, ca­ ing: 800-466-2221x288. campus. Includes utilities, laun­ practices on Sunday 4-6pm and reer oriented, team players. If HOME IMPROVEMEN~ dry and kitchen. Pets in house. Thursday 7 -9pm in Gym One. you are goal oriented and moti­ GIVIVNG YOU THE LEADS SALES POSITIONS AVAIL­ Call MWF After 7pm. Any students interested please vated by $$$ you can help AND SHOWING YOU THE ABLE for FT and PT hours. If attend or email Jason Altizer at booster our local expansion. MONEY. Hiring sales reps., jaltiz1 @gl.umbc.edu. you are enthusiastic about you MISCELLANEOUS Call Dave: 410-247-6900. highest pay available, NO EXP. future and want to be success­ NEC. Paid training, for inter­ ful, we can help you achieve UMBC Ballroom Dance Club PREGNANT? FREE CONFI­ STUDENTS... STOP WORKING view: Call Sam at 41 Q-342-4520. your goals. Call Dave: 41Q-247- Classes every Wednesday night FOR PEANUTS! $8-$15 AN DENTIAL PREGNANCY TEST­ 6900. at Retriever Grill. $4 per class. HOUR, PLUS BONUSES. #1 Spring Break company: End­ ING AND CARING COUNSEL­ Beg 1: 7-8:30pm, Beg 2: 8:30- ING HELP. 1-800-521-5530 or WORK AS LITTLE AS 3 DAYS less Summer Tours is now hir­ TELEMARKETER Pff $1 0/hr 10:00pm. For more information, 1-800-866-4666. OR AS MUCH AS 5 DAYS ing PT/FT help for our Ellicott +bonus, M-Th 5-9pm. A growing contact Ballroom Dance Club at WEEKLVI CALL NOW: 410- City office. We need Customer Pikesville mortgage Co. seeks ballroom @sta.umbc.edu or WOMEN? EARN $2,300 AS AN 247-6900. Service reps, Reservationists, responsible person with good http://sta.umbc.edu/-ballroom. PAGE28

Commuter Student···········• An Open Invitation

You are cordially invited to attend The University Center Commuter Student Services ''UMBC Commuters ... On the Go'' Information & Outreach Session Friday, October 30, 1998 lpm- University Center- 2nd Floor

•••••••• The Latest Off-Campus Housing Info And Parking Services Updates ... Your parking hanger get lost in Mail Heaven? Get the latest info on parking services policies and procedures . •••••••• Make campus and community connections... Sign up for UMBC's first Commuter Student Learning Community Project "The Commuter Students Consortium" and Get the scoop on CSA activities! •••••••• Meet CSS Commuter Peer Advisors Commuting Students Association Light Refreshments